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all 26 comments

[–]mutantchipmunk 14 points15 points ago

butcher here, i walked on to the floor and a lady pointed to the blood on my apron saying "you have something there." i replied "im having a heavy flow". Somtimes when kids are looking i like to put hot dogs in my gloves and pretend i cut off my finger.

[–]willrd88[S] 13 points14 points ago

Had a hot older woman come in and say, "wow, your sausage looks great, can I have some?" It took everything I had to not make a sexual joke.

[–]Blitz16 3 points4 points ago

It's funny, because of synonym.

[–]willrd88[S] 5 points6 points ago

Working in a meat market, there are too many sexual jokes.

[–]meatman5805 1 point2 points ago

This is true.

[–]J-Sluit 2 points3 points ago

Such a relevant username

[–]Foojuss 1 point2 points ago

Way to true ... my favorite is "I want the big balls" referring to to knuckle

[–]coatrack68 4 points5 points ago

Made me laugh.

[–]TheButcherr 1 point2 points ago

Psshhh

[–]89reatta 0 points1 point ago

I'm a butcher and I approved this message

[–]willrd88[S] 4 points5 points ago

My first day in the market an old school butcher says, "did they tell you what to do if there is a fire in the meat case?" I said, "no". He says, "all you gotta do is grab your meat and beat it." And so started my career surrounded by sexual jokes.

[–]89reatta 0 points1 point ago

I have a sneaking suspicion that the conversation is the same in every single cutting room everywhere.

[–]willrd88[S] 0 points1 point ago

I would say that is a pretty good assessment. I've worked in numerous markets and they are all generally the same. Butchers are all about their meat.

[–]Bobnitty 0 points1 point ago

His hands are on the tavle

[–]AlterBridgeFan 0 points1 point ago

This is gold.

[–]Sproutykins 8 points9 points ago

Could you even go as far to say that... It's a LE PRECUS GEM?

[–]AlterBridgeFan 9 points10 points ago

YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]derekdanger 0 points1 point ago

I don't think you know what that word means. Masticating means chewing, and unless your butcher chews your food before giving it to you, then it is not the same thing (if you are a bird then this is exactly what your butcher does, and I am sorry for my oversight future avian overlord)

[–]Kelnaz 0 points1 point ago

I know how you feel. I work in the deli and I just stand around handling my meat as well.

[–]one_irish_giant 0 points1 point ago

This is actually very clever. Upvote for you good sir.

[–]lmkling 0 points1 point ago

Finally a funny meme

[–]kerdon -3 points-2 points ago

.

[–]postal_bob -5 points-4 points ago

Anyone who cuts meat at a grocery store has no business calling themself a butcher.

[–]willrd88[S] 2 points3 points ago

You are somewhat correct. Everything comes in pre-sectioned, but we still have to cut it into steaks or roasts. Butcher just had a better sound than "meat cutter".

[–]BuckStrickland 1 point2 points ago

Whenever I tell someone I'm a meat cutter, they assume I work in a deli. So even though we're not butchers, it's just easier to tell them we are.

[–]willrd88[S] 4 points5 points ago

And while I'm not a butcher in the traditional sense, I still possess the skills needed to be a traditional butcher. I actually enjoy cutting meat.