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Bee handler (i.minus.com)

submitted ago by PhoneDojo

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[–]jyennes 217 points218 points ago

Now how does he get them off?

[–]sumoshart 686 points687 points ago

Tiny fleshlights.

[–]MidEastBeast777 84 points85 points ago

You disgust me, thats why I love you.

[–]sumoshart 171 points172 points ago

Most of my attempts at humor :)

[–][deleted] 118 points119 points ago

SAIL!

[–]ncastleJC 6 points7 points ago

This was my exact thought the moment the gif started.

[–]Tlalok 2 points3 points ago

I almost forgot to watch sail cat today! for those wondering http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Veg63B8ofnQ

[–]Atheistus 17 points18 points ago

did the cat died?

[–]Gamer_Stix 35 points36 points ago

Apparently cats have a nonfatal terminal velocity

[–]calamormine 33 points34 points ago

That's good to know. *grabs box of cats, heads for the roof

[–]impossibru65 10 points11 points ago

Um.. hang on... dude.. HOLD UP DUDE. DON'T... fuck.

[–]strayclown 2 points3 points ago

Shoulda taken the hot air balloon, this is only a two story building!

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      [–]AngryRobo 16 points17 points ago

      I can't decided whether to go with a Schrodinger reference here or an allusion to the nine lives thing.

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        [–]SpiffyShindigs 24 points25 points ago

        Tiny dildos.

        FTFY. Bees are almost all female, except for drones, which rarely leave the hive.

        [–]sumoshart 2 points3 points ago

        I bow to your knowledge.

        [–]ogareg 22 points23 points ago

        ಠ_ಠ

        [–]sumoshart 9 points10 points ago

        it's safe if you wear gloves, I shit you not.

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          [–]Muravaww 30 points31 points ago

          Like this.

          [–]Timett_son_of_Timett 7 points8 points ago

          very carefully.

          [–]SCzergrush 10 points11 points ago

          Smoke

          [–]Aregular89 2 points3 points ago

          Dunk in water

          [–]CornyCotton 13 points14 points ago

          He uses his fingers ;)

          [–]ecchimaru 4 points5 points ago

          But he had to go really slow in order to get them on his hand without stinging him. If he brushed them off with his fingers or something slowly, they would just attach to the hand. Too quickly and they would sting him. His question is totally valid.

          [–]thelukec 27 points28 points ago

          The wink is key here

          [–]CornyCotton 4 points5 points ago

          This guy...

          He gets it.

          load more comments (2 replies)

            [–]Backpack_Stargazer 41 points42 points ago

            Surprisingly easy to do when they're swarming like that. My grandfather kept 40 hives at the house when I was growing up, if not for the patience of bees I would've been a rather lumpy kid.

            [–]meankneez 10 points11 points ago

            Or have a severe allergy.

            [–]PEANUT_BUTTER_MD 14 points15 points ago

            Or be dead.

            [–]baum3r 32 points33 points ago

            Now I'd like to see him hurl them at somebody.

            [–]vulpesvulpes_ 78 points79 points ago

            POCKET BEES!

            [–]lordlicorice 28 points29 points ago

            > unzips my fanny pack by mistake
> bees fall out

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              [–]JdaveA 21 points22 points ago

              Like this http://www.joystickdivision.com/bshockpic3.png

              [–]free_dead_puppy 5 points6 points ago

              My favorite thing to do was to sneak up on an ususpecting splicer lady and say "I like my women like I like my coffee, COVERED IN BEEEES!" and proceed to let the insects rape her skin with their stingers.

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                [–]samma_jamma 8 points9 points ago

                He could start a horribly terrifying, yet awesome Bioshock cosplay

                [–]TehCorn4 32 points33 points ago

                I like my hands like I like my women. Covered in bees.

                [–]Ambassador_throwaway 6 points7 points ago

                Covered in sticky sweet juice?

                [–]apostrotastrophe 2 points3 points ago

                And my father's footsteps were like this: Heellllllp! I'm covered in bees!!!

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                  [–]thepasystem 169 points170 points ago

                  NOT THE BEES!!!

                  [–]TwoMilkTeeth 70 points71 points ago

                  I don't understand why I had to scroll middle-page to find The Nic

                  [–]Brad_1 68 points69 points ago

                  cos it weren't on the top of the page

                  [–]Edgar4llanPwn 20 points21 points ago

                  Thanks for clearing that up

                  [–]Shooz29 17 points18 points ago

                  /r/onetruegod

                  [–]Glennsguitar 6 points7 points ago

                  That is the most terrifying thing I've ever seen.

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                      [–]MedoMedoMeh 432 points433 points ago

                      http://qkme.me/3qx991

                      [–]Timett_son_of_Timett 58 points59 points ago

                      Hey, High Five!

                      [–]Epic_Spitfire 10 points11 points ago

                      HOLY SHIT. just finished reading the chapter where your username comes from. Fuck me.

                      [–]SeveredBanana 2 points3 points ago

                      Shagga likes his axes. You can laugh later (I think in the next book).

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                          [–]OBEYthesky 7 points8 points ago

                          Balls of steel!

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                            [–]PecanSoup 16 points17 points ago

                            How?

                            [–]Toodlez 50 points51 points ago

                            Bees in a swarm (not established colony) are usually pretty docile - no honey/larva to protect, need to save energy/workers for establishing a new hive.

                            [–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

                            how did they get to be colony-less?

                            [–]First_thing 6 points7 points ago

                            They're not colony-less, they just don't have a headquarters so to speak. This is a new queen bee that emigrated from her old hive and is looking to start a new one. They're looking for an appropriate place to form their new hive in.

                            [–]sparlockpower 3 points4 points ago

                            Once the colony gets too cramped they make a new queen by feeding some larvae, while the old one flies away with about half the workforce and a lot of honey to find a new place to make a hive. This is the swarm you see in the gif, and they are pretty docile as previous poster said. Nothing to be afraid of really.

                            load more comments (1 reply)

                              [–]UprootedEagle 42 points43 points ago

                              Fuck I tried to make a gif for this a while ago and it looked like shit. Here's the video.

                              I'm mad at myself for being so shitty at making .gifs.

                              [–]habitats 5 points6 points ago

                              Well, shit.

                              [–]Cozy_Conditioning 5 points6 points ago

                              Why? Why make a gif in the first place?? Just link the video!

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                                [–]Ericholterman 368 points369 points ago

                                Obligatory.

                                [–]PvtHopscotch 65 points66 points ago

                                You know I could save this .gif but I worry if do I will stop being excited to see it in a comment thread.

                                [–]ThatsSciencetastic 43 points44 points ago

                                Talk about first world problems...

                                [–]SnowdensOfYesteryear 1 point2 points ago

                                Wasn't there one with bats?

                                [–]toaster_waffle 1 point2 points ago

                                Can't stop here. This is bat country.

                                [–]TimeTravelingCowboy 12 points13 points ago

                                one of my favorite gifs.

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                                  [–]the_RG 89 points90 points ago

                                  Beads?

                                  [–]bluhblehbloo 58 points59 points ago

                                  BEES?!

                                  [–]jammym 45 points46 points ago

                                  Gob's not on board

                                  [–]biggityj 32 points33 points ago

                                  We'll see who gets more honey!

                                  [–]tigermoth 25 points26 points ago

                                  He's thinking about bees again.

                                  [–]absparekh 12 points13 points ago

                                  They don't allow you to have bees in here

                                  [–]here_for_the_lols 4 points5 points ago

                                  I wonder how that's going to effect my honey business?

                                  [–]trollmenot 9 points10 points ago

                                  BZZZZZZ!!

                                  [–]NeapolitanComplex 8 points9 points ago

                                  BEADS.

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                                    [–]BatmanisJUSTICE 203 points204 points ago

                                    http://i.imgur.com/816uC.gif

                                    [–]blooblop 24 points25 points ago

                                    Not even.

                                    [–]Gimme_Some_Sunshine 22 points23 points ago

                                    WHY?! WHY?! WHY. WHY? WHY! WHY.

                                    And also how.

                                    [–]wanabeswordsman 17 points18 points ago

                                    Reading the comments, it says that those are probably male wasps as they don't have stingers, only the females do. I'm willing to believe that simply because I don't care to do further research into the matter.

                                    [–]Sp00n_Boat 6 points7 points ago

                                    "Big deal, they're only paper."

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                                      [–]fantasygod777 15 points16 points ago

                                      My exact reaction.

                                      [–]Legit_GFX 7 points8 points ago

                                      I can hear that in my head every time I see that gif. The wierd part is, I have never even seen that show/movie.

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                                        [–]p47121ck 36 points37 points ago

                                        My thoughts while watching this

                                        [–]PictureTraveller 19 points20 points ago

                                        wtf is this thing

                                        [–]Alexxandros 20 points21 points ago

                                        Pretty sure I saw it on one of them nature shows.

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                                          [–]awesomereece123 11 points12 points ago

                                          Can I have a link to a video of this?

                                          EDIT: Found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsC0bNNbZ70

                                          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

                                          Hahaha at the end

                                          Young kid who's nervous: "I really can't believe we're not getting stung right now."

                                          Guy who's been telling him the whole time they won't get stung: "Me neither."

                                          load more comments (1 reply)

                                            [–]Ignoreable 10 points11 points ago

                                            picking up a bee easier than hornet... Ive tried both. silly fuzzy bee was just lost and I helped it get back outside... the hornet just wanted free food and got lost in a cubish hell maze filled with giants and wanted revenge on anything willing to show it the way out.

                                            morale of the sorty is bees let you live.

                                            [–]guyontheend 4 points5 points ago

                                            No one even cares that this man said "sorty?" This man said SORTY!

                                            [–]strayclown 2 points3 points ago

                                            True, he should have said "sorties."

                                            load more comments (1 reply)

                                              [–]band-of-liars 24 points25 points ago

                                              'I hate you bees, I hate you bees, I hate you bees, I hate you bees'

                                              [–]Bacon-Pancake 7 points8 points ago

                                              http://i.imgur.com/dzjdF.gif

                                              [–]Burps_TOO_MUCH 150 points151 points ago

                                              OMG BEE CAREFUL!

                                              [–]HogBacon 49 points50 points ago

                                              Hive never seen something so dangerous

                                              [–]samantp 37 points38 points ago

                                              Buzz off, it's not that big a deal.

                                              [–]iia 36 points37 points ago

                                              Thanks, honey <3

                                              [–]GabeMzz 27 points28 points ago

                                              All these bee puns really swarm my heart.

                                              [–]iia 11 points12 points ago

                                              Same here; I do worry that some won't appreciate them, though, and just think we're droning on and on.

                                              [–]weirdsun 19 points20 points ago

                                              Stop beeing such a queen.

                                              [–]fuckyourcouchnigger 16 points17 points ago

                                              that really stings!

                                              [–]iia 9 points10 points ago

                                              Oh beehive.

                                              [–]ShawnDawn 0 points1 point ago

                                              Sting..ah shit I thought I had something.

                                              [–]ownworldman 3 points4 points ago

                                              Do you know what reddit needs? More puns that have been tried hundreds of times.

                                              [–]dustinyo 22 points23 points ago

                                              I did NAZI that coming.

                                              [–]dreadlockdave 10 points11 points ago

                                              These puns aren't clever Anne Frankly i don't find them very funny.

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                                                  [–]jasonmlopez 24 points25 points ago

                                                  I was hoping he was going to clap. That would have been LEGENDARY!!!

                                                  [–]Linktank 21 points22 points ago

                                                  M-M-M-M-Monster KILL!!! Kill!! Kill! kill...

                                                  [–]serosis 5 points6 points ago

                                                  If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands!

                                                  [–]BigPandaBro 13 points14 points ago

                                                  I can't copy and paste Nope enough so that it would get my point across

                                                  [–]ittakesacrane 11 points12 points ago

                                                  lol

                                                  [–]Destati 6 points7 points ago

                                                  WHY

                                                  [–]Romansu 3 points4 points ago

                                                  I found myself repeating "Please don't clap" under my breath.

                                                  [–]staarsgazer 2 points3 points ago

                                                  ....cringe.

                                                  [–]tre101 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Was anyone else waiting for him to throw the ones in his hand?

                                                  [–]a773 0 points1 point ago

                                                  NOPE

                                                  [–]dedtigers 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Allofmynope.org

                                                  [–]Alexm920 2 points3 points ago

                                                  My thoughts the entire time: "Well... what now? Is he going to throw them at someone?"

                                                  [–]BCDCLC 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Well that's just a big old pile of nope right there.

                                                  [–]weirdsun 1 point2 points ago

                                                  How do you get them off?

                                                  [–]ConsummateLurker 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Not shown: pain.

                                                  [–]Batticon 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Sliding his hand into the crack of the bees.

                                                  [–]waywirk137 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Fuck That.

                                                  [–]basil_fresh 1 point2 points ago

                                                  good luck gettin those bees off your hand bro.

                                                  [–]lifeisrocknroll18 0 points1 point ago

                                                  That person has balls of steel

                                                  [–]BB0214 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Welp, that got my heart rate going o.O

                                                  [–]masterprtzl 0 points1 point ago

                                                  So, how the fuck does he get them off of his hand without getting stung?

                                                  [–]GoGoGadgetDownVote 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Hell. Fucking. Naw.

                                                  [–]DubceptionX 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Would it kill you to wear a glove?

                                                  [–]lilmomma11 0 points1 point ago

                                                  No fuckin way!

                                                  [–]rhubarbbus 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Strange phenomena.

                                                  Bees individually are small solid objects, but collectively they are are all one large solid object.

                                                  [–]lostinubersetzung 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I am so grossed out, yet oddly fascinated.

                                                  [–]n2dal 0 points1 point ago

                                                  PSYCHOPATH

                                                  [–]assassinkitty 0 points1 point ago

                                                  he has a ton of balls

                                                  [–]SuperHorribleGaming 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Proves how much nicer bees are than wasps.

                                                  [–]paulfp007 0 points1 point ago

                                                  fuck. that.

                                                  [–]Taurath 1 point2 points ago

                                                  I've never felt so incredibly anxious watching a gif before.

                                                  [–]Newbs280 1 point2 points ago

                                                  As a man who is allergic to bees, my jimmies are officially soiled.

                                                  [–]LittleCucumber 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Now I feel like there's a bee in my ear.

                                                  [–]Melaronius 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Those bees are relocating. During that time all of the bees pretty much fill their stomachs with honey until they find a new place to build a hive. Also, they do not have any eggs or larva to protect.

                                                  [–]WasherDryerCombo 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I showed this to my friend and her response was "hope that person died"

                                                  I think it was appropriate.

                                                  [–]progerialover69 0 points1 point ago

                                                  That plasmid took forever to get.

                                                  [–]enrag3dj3w 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Seriously fuck everything about this

                                                  [–]Ticklez 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Forget that noise

                                                  [–]teddypicker55 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Somehow, this disturbs me far more than most other gag-inducing Reddit stories.

                                                  This and the 4chan guy who runs the oreo cream under the sink. That was hard to watch.

                                                  [–]Yoohoomaniac 0 points1 point ago

                                                  came here looking for Bioshock reference and am disappointed.

                                                  [–]Madonkadonk 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Pretty sure I saw this guy on a recent episode of Alphas

                                                  [–]cakemama 0 points1 point ago

                                                  NOPE!

                                                  [–]SmilodonFatalis 0 points1 point ago

                                                  This is the scariest thing I have ever watched.

                                                  [–]markex 0 points1 point ago

                                                  why the hell did that almost make me hyperventilate

                                                  [–]trollmenot 0 points1 point ago

                                                  They won't allow you to have bees in here.

                                                  [–]FubbaYouCubba 0 points1 point ago

                                                  That guy is ballsy.

                                                  [–]monsterq6 0 points1 point ago

                                                  NOPE

                                                  [–]NoonToker17 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Fuck. That. Shit

                                                  [–]BetaHousing 0 points1 point ago

                                                  If he can control them, we're all fucked

                                                  [–]cathysaurus 0 points1 point ago

                                                  He's COVERED IN BEEEEEEES!

                                                  [–]danderson5 0 points1 point ago

                                                  And that's the story of how Uncle John died.

                                                  [–]Mizzlefizz 0 points1 point ago

                                                  start clapping

                                                  [–]Ends 0 points1 point ago

                                                  HHHHHNNNNNNNNGGGGG....

                                                  [–]goth_bacon 0 points1 point ago

                                                  That's how The Pain got his start.

                                                  [–]MF_Doomed 1 point2 points ago

                                                  beads?!

                                                  [–]HappyAssassin 0 points1 point ago

                                                  All I kept thinking was

                                                  "dude...dude...dudedudeDUDE...DUDE!..DUDE!!!"

                                                  [–]captgrizzlybear 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Nope.

                                                  [–]Aaronnoraator 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Yeah, but can he make a gun out of bees?

                                                  [–]Imbu3 1 point2 points ago

                                                  The never-ending GIF.

                                                  [–]FuckingTornadoes 1 point2 points ago

                                                  His balls must be so big he has to wear a girls' starter braw beneath his underpants to keep them in place.

                                                  [–]Redtiki 0 points1 point ago

                                                  "But... but, but Human-san we have been good little bees why u do this?"

                                                  [–]Astioth 0 points1 point ago

                                                  My heart didn't beat the entire time I watched that gif. Shit was intense.

                                                  [–]XxcontaminatexX 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I can feel them on my skin!

                                                  [–]Stoutpants 0 points1 point ago

                                                  That gave me a serious case of the heebejeebies!

                                                  [–]g33k5t4 -1 points0 points ago

                                                  Being that I'm allergic, that makes me cringe nearly as bad as the crap on /r/spacedicks.

                                                  [–]Enedin 1 point2 points ago

                                                  THE PAIN

                                                  [–]ProfProphet713 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Hey, hey, HEY DON'T DO THAT...DONT FUCKING TOUCH THOSE HEY DON'T..NO...oh god no...don't...THEY ARE GOING TO STICK the EFF out of your hand....

                                                  [–]derekofhousestark 0 points1 point ago

                                                  What was that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the NOOOOPPPPEEEE!

                                                  [–]orionshmorion 0 points1 point ago

                                                  why?

                                                  [–]99TA 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I wanted him to eat it.

                                                  [–]imadogg 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I was watching that trying to guess if the guy was gonna squash all the bees or if they were going to start stinging him like crazy. Instead, neither

                                                  [–]abbiistabbii 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I don't know if I should be horrified or impressed.

                                                  [–]freddy3kid 0 points1 point ago

                                                  How does he get rid of them? Does he just walk away, and have the bees fly back to the hive? So many questions...........

                                                  [–]Qirajin 0 points1 point ago

                                                  How did he get rid of them

                                                  [–]Killer_Tomato 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Would you rather that gif ended with him putting his hand in his mouth or pants?

                                                  [–]ohlookitsnat 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Nothing to do here

                                                  [–]dafuq0_0 0 points1 point ago

                                                  would he do it with Brazilian bees?

                                                  [–]KiddMicks 0 points1 point ago

                                                  /nope

                                                  [–]McFatChixx 0 points1 point ago

                                                  no dice

                                                  [–]lvytn 0 points1 point ago

                                                  I read beer handler and I was still waiting for that beer lol

                                                  [–]Sporka 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Think of all the tickles.

                                                  [–]edron79 0 points1 point ago

                                                  BEADS?!

                                                  [–]ruimound 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Noped so hard that I had to watch it twice. Holy crap.

                                                  [–]jessicapony 0 points1 point ago

                                                  this is my actual nightmare

                                                  [–]moxiedrinker82 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Now fap

                                                  [–]CreamSteve 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Sorry Henry.

                                                  [–]Madvillains 0 points1 point ago

                                                  beeds? beads! bees? beads!!??

                                                  [–]Raneados 1 point2 points ago

                                                  Bees are actually REALLY REALLY chill if you let them be chill.

                                                  They don't WANT to sting you.

                                                  Check out JPthebeeman on youtube. He's great at his job and he's got a good easygoing style. Lots of videos, too. You'll come out of it much more knowledgeable about bees.

                                                  Dude does what the OP's gif is all about daily.

                                                  Here's him pulling a swarm off a car.

                                                  Guy makes me wanna be a beekeeper.

                                                  edit; don't try to get rid of bees yourself, you're probably not well-eqipped to safely remove them, and killing them probably isn't going to work like you want it to. You'll just have a fucked up house. You will not have a fun time.

                                                  [–]JimmehGeebs 1 point2 points ago

                                                  NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

                                                  [–]DaneboJones 1 point2 points ago

                                                  I wanna be a bee keeper, I wanna keep bees. DON"T WANT EM TO GET AWAY! I wanna keep em...they have too much freedom!

                                                  [–]zoobernarf 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Nope x 1023

                                                  [–]bazanko 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Id love to see "Bee let-go'er"

                                                  [–]SerasAtomsk 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Would you rather do this? Or have 2 bees sting you in the penis?

                                                  [–]owl_in_a_cowl 0 points1 point ago

                                                  O_O such balls.

                                                  [–]vacuumpie 0 points1 point ago

                                                  Just do the same thing with his dong and he'd get to the top of reddit and WTF.

                                                  load more comments (84 replies)

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