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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]superfahd 692 points693 points ago

please tell me the other one is orange!

[–]LynxFX 733 points734 points ago

Yes our side is orange. It is fun looking through to the East Coast.

*edit: better image. Portals are hard to capture with modern technology.

[–]jbcorny 280 points281 points ago

your side seems to be watching sports coverage instead of the other office...

ಠ_ಠ

[–]broccoli_basket 57 points58 points ago

hmmmm....I'm more of a west coast office guy. Not like those easties.

[–]ccrazool 12 points13 points ago

West side!! \x/

[–]mheyk 3 points4 points ago

Left COast!

[–]G-0ff 67 points68 points ago

you and OP should coordinate and take pictures of each other

[–]SarahMakesYouStrong 6 points7 points ago

ah! do this! I want to see this!

[–]itorres1490 23 points24 points ago

Are the speakers on the orange one playing sound effects? Or is there also an audio feed being passed through?

[–]LynxFX 44 points45 points ago

Audi being passed through. Portals transfer audio right?

[–]TyPower 127 points128 points ago

Unfortunately, portals or no, I still can't download an Audi.

[–]jsproat 85 points86 points ago

You wouldn't actually download a car, would you?

...Well, someone had to say it.

[–]xblitzkrieg 20 points21 points ago

Fuck you! I would if I could!

[–]itorres1490 2 points3 points ago

I'd assume you can hear sounds through them.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Why doesn't it run in fullscreen mode?

Edit: Nevermind, the picture was changed.

[–]Sarkli11 21 points22 points ago

Because portals aren't fullscreen. They're ovals.

[–]Frosticus 60 points61 points ago

Aw this one doesn't look as cool though!

[–]DoesntWorkForTheDEA 107 points108 points ago

It's the angle.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 30 points31 points ago

And the black and white football players?

[–]AManHasSpoken 69 points70 points ago

African-American*

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 31 points32 points ago

Ok, the black and white African American football player.

/jest

[–]chrisc098 3 points4 points ago

Put your dick through it. For science.

[–]RedSquaree 7 points8 points ago

Awesome but this side is slightly less impressive. Smaller TV?

[–]Andrewm319 2 points3 points ago

Can we see you two take a picture of each other through the portal?

[–]wojx 117 points118 points ago

It better be.

EDIT: APPARENTLY IT IS.

[–]My_Empty_Wallet 51 points52 points ago

DAMMIT OP, WE NEED AN ANSWER!

[–]Capt_Underpants 36 points37 points ago

They need to put a mirror on the opposite wall that reflects the (hopefully) orange portal which shows the OPs office.

[–]Mrducktape 10 points11 points ago

Just cross it and you'll find out!

[–]hellomynameisadam 1 point2 points ago

My first thought!

[–]harmonix427 6 points7 points ago

Dude, why are my words being typed by someone else?

[–]danielson144 195 points196 points ago

I work here as well, this is awesome.

[–]Ggah 115 points116 points ago

Me too! I'm IN the portal cause I work in the west coast office

[–]Annihilia[S] 131 points132 points ago

Do you guys have an orange portal? Reddit wants to know.

[–]dickbuttcity 216 points217 points ago

And more importantly, have you seen his dick yet?

[–]rodmandirect 74 points75 points ago

Reddit is being very serious here. It appears that's going to be the theme of many of these threads: THIS GUY'S DICK PICTURES ARE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE, AND WE WANT FOR ALL HIS COWORKERS TO BE AWARE OF THAT.

[–]Ggah 2 points3 points ago

Portal is orange and too much dick to be unseen

[–]LynxFX 59 points60 points ago

I posted ours.

[–]TheBird47 28 points29 points ago

risky click, with all that dick pic talk

[–]TheyDemandASacrifice 6 points7 points ago

So rhymey!

[–]maximilliontee 2 points3 points ago

I had the same concern, however it was worth the risk. Click the link... you won't be disappointed.

[–]tnyalc 15 points16 points ago

We def need proof... Take a pic of each other through the portal...

[–]Samizdat_Press 5 points6 points ago

Pictures can be faked. I want to see you bounce a laser off a mirror hosted in the west coast office's end of the portal. Somehow involve explosions as well.

[–]Tmeesseman 3 points4 points ago

Come on, Ggah. Don't let us down. Do you have an orange portal?

[–]wellingtonbear 431 points432 points ago

Have you seen your coworkers GW dick pics?

[–]diggalator 59 points60 points ago

Coworker here. GW dick pics are a lie!

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points ago

It's coming. Lots of dick pics. Tape em on the webcam

[–]Hjortur95 15 points16 points ago

Oh you would

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

Is it in Burlington, vt?

[–]juice_box_hero 5 points6 points ago

Shut up, Dan ;)

[–]KoreanTerran 170 points171 points ago

This is a really cool picture; the closest thing my work has to this is a camera that makes sure nobody steals anything.

[–]norsurfit 54 points55 points ago

We have a guy who does that. When we painted him blue, he got mad.

[–]Untoward_Lettuce 17 points18 points ago

He probably found out how much the real Blue Men make.

[–]viper61989 16 points17 points ago

He must have blue himself.

[–]LakeStClair 257 points258 points ago

Where the hell do you work?!

[–]Annihilia[S] 725 points726 points ago

I work at a medium-sized non-gaming related tech company in New England. Sorry I can't be more specific, but I don't want anyone from work finding my GW dick pics or whatever.

[–]ptgkbgte 559 points560 points ago

I'm pretty sure that this would tip them off pretty well.

[–]trueblue450 459 points460 points ago

Haha because people @ work will think "Wow, theres another non gaming tech company with a portal like ours"

[–]Moisturizer 295 points296 points ago

It was mentioned specifically so his coworkers will check out his dick pics when they see this picture.

[–]sgtpppr 230 points231 points ago

"I'm not saying look at my dick pics, but here is an entire album categorized by pose and mood. The last one is my favorite: Rise of the Angry Dong."

[–]sericeousburden 65 points66 points ago

[–]eetsumkaus 71 points72 points ago

In hindsight, that was probably a risky click

[–]badgrafxghost 21 points22 points ago

ricky, schmishky... life is for the living

[–]Norrisemoe 9 points10 points ago

That was so brilliant, so that I never forget you who came up with it, you are now tagged as "Rise of the Angry Dong"

[–]sgtpppr 11 points12 points ago

I could ask for no greater acknowledgement. Anything I do for the rest of my life is just a bonus.

[–]I-Suck-At-Games 11 points12 points ago

Am I the only who checked to see if he was lying?

[–]somanywtfs 17 points18 points ago

But theirs is blue like ours, shouldn't theirs be orange?

[–]BlackZeppelin 5 points6 points ago

Not to mention he has a picture of his car in his post history. You can see a few letters of the plate. If this guy was trying to be sly he's really bad at it.

[–]Bilkokuya 16 points17 points ago

If he's not careful, he could get shafted.

[–]CreepyGayGuy 392 points393 points ago

I just went through a year's worth of your posts and didn't see any dick pics. Why are you doing this to me???

[–][deleted] 308 points309 points ago

Your username. So relevant at this moment.

[–]sty1emonger 78 points79 points ago

If it wasn't for people like you, I'd miss out on half the jokes on this site.

Thank you for pointing out the username. Thank you for being you.

[–]NotRape__SurpriseSex 26 points27 points ago

You should really be more observant. I have a system in place to make sure I don't miss anything.

If you want to get some coffee with me, I can share a tip or two with you.

[–]iMeaux 4 points5 points ago

Just the tip

[–]deadlyfalcon89 16 points17 points ago

redditor for 3 months

This guy checks out.

[–]tito13kfm 92 points93 points ago

This is what reddit has done to me. I went looking through your comment history for these so called dick pics. About 10 seconds later it hit me, I'm a straight male...

[–]CLSmith15 26 points27 points ago

Whatever helps you sleep at night

[–]tuesdayswithMrAaron 5 points6 points ago

Spaghetti is straight too, until it gets hot...

[–]i_am_lie_bot 72 points73 points ago

Where are you dick pics? I can't find them.

[–]UNHDude 25 points26 points ago

Glad I wasn't the only one.

[–]coltaaan 14 points15 points ago

I couldn't find them either :(

[–]DollarsThanSense 129 points130 points ago

Wait wait wait wait... there's a new England?

[–]Sawdust_Prophet 60 points61 points ago

[–]eyupmush 29 points30 points ago

Fun fact Europeans don't see 200 years as old.

Edit For a piece of land, it would still be considered old, for say, a horse.

[–]greyjackal 37 points38 points ago

As some friends from home (UK) pointed out when I mentioned the tour guides going past my office banging on about this 200 year old street in Boston : "Americans think 200 years is a long time. We think 200 miles is a long distance."

[–]eyupmush 12 points13 points ago

I find it hard to wrap my head around the American concept of distance, it's 50 miles to my home town but I'd consider that a fair treck.

[–]greyjackal 5 points6 points ago

Aye, you do start to get used to it though. A friend of mine who emigrated to Connecticut and I met up for lunch a couple of months ago. 1 1/2 hours drive for each of us to a midpoint restaurant. Never would have bothered with that back home.

Well, unless there was another incentive, of course.

[–]X-Reddit 6 points7 points ago

LOLIGETITSEX

[–]AuxiliaryTimeCop 12 points13 points ago

All parts of the planet are equally old. Some just got better publicity than others.

[–]jeffbell 2 points3 points ago

It was an official Dominion of the Crown from 1686 to 1689 when it ended due to the revolution. (No, not that revolution).

[–]ryebrye 30 points31 points ago

TOO LATE. (I work with OP, apparently, even though I have no idea who "Annihilia" is)

[–]SpatulaOfDoom 14 points15 points ago

He drives a Honda S2000 soft top. Help?

[–]LurkForever 6 points7 points ago

[–]elbarto111 4 points5 points ago

Here is a picture of said Honda: http://imgur.com/a/WgJoK

[–]lakerswiz 38 points39 points ago

finding my GW dick pics

Liar.

[–]Annihilia[S] 95 points96 points ago

Please look harder.

[–]srd178 94 points95 points ago

"harder"

heh.

[–]BaDumPshhh 23 points24 points ago

Googling dick pics.... Waiiiiit a second.

[–]BoughtreeFidee 16 points17 points ago

"No dad, I can explain..."

[–]I_May_Say_Maybe 18 points19 points ago

Cant find it, I think we may have been shafted...maybe......

[–]Khatib 5 points6 points ago

Perhaps with one of those cartoonishly large magnifying glasses?

[–]Afforess 34 points35 points ago

So Aperture Science then?

[–]KANahas 12 points13 points ago

Medium-sized

[–]meowForum 26 points27 points ago

...Black Mesa?

[–]tubadeedoo 28 points29 points ago

haha, fat chance!

[–]RhettNa 7 points8 points ago

Anyway, this cake is great! So delicious and moist!

[–]wickedsurley 14 points15 points ago

guess the "no photos" sign we pass by every morning no longer applies at ddc, huh?

[–]DerpityDog 33 points34 points ago

Its dealer.com. I follow them on FB.

[–]citizenvaindrain 8 points9 points ago

Great. Now I know why he deleted his dick pics. Why'd you have to blow up his spot?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

The Burlington vt one?

[–]shaggorama 33 points34 points ago

You don't want your workplace to link your reddit account to your IRL identity, so you use your main account to post a distinctive picture of your office during regular business hours, probably from a computer on their network if not a computer they own. Cause there's no way they monitor or at least log computer activity on their network.

[–]karmaslave01 41 points42 points ago

My company doesn't. There are companies out there that don't treat their employees like they are 5 and trust them to get their work done.

[–]TheDarwinator 34 points35 points ago

And yet here I sit on Reddit at work on a Friday.

[–]undergroundPOP 8 points9 points ago

Who here checked to see if he actually had GW dick pix?

[–]Pianochan 5 points6 points ago

All of us.

[–]-steezy_wunda_bred- 6 points7 points ago

Searched for said dick pics. Left disappointed.

[–]thisismygaytrollacct 4 points5 points ago

Lies! Could not find any NSFW photos from you.

[–]OrangeFu 9 points10 points ago

*clicks Annihilia's account

*scroll

dove.jpg

[–]extra_crispy_recipe 4 points5 points ago

Field trip to New England!

[–]seijio 4 points5 points ago

So...which is your favorite: Magic Hat, Otter Creek, Long Trail, Switchback.

???

[–]1forgotmyoldusername 2 points3 points ago

I've been longing for a job on Howard ... haven't made any good progress. Any tips for the hiring process? To reduce creepiness, I am a fan on Facebook and saw this in my feed today.

[–]quigonjen 31 points32 points ago

Maybe Black Mesa?

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

Haha, fat chance.

[–]mlkelty 999 points1000 points ago

You're not fooling anyone. That's obviously a real portal with a decoy webcam!

[–]cris178 105 points106 points ago

It would have been cooler if it were a Kinect that tracks your head so that you can view different angles within the portal.

[–]badgrafxghost 122 points123 points ago

It would have been cooler if it were a Kinect that tracks your head so that you can view different angles within the real portal.

FTFY ;)

[–]Aleax2358 17 points18 points ago

That would be a real portal. A portal for light.

[–]ohgodwhatthe 20 points21 points ago

It wouldn't be a "real portal" for light unless it were a giant fiber optic tunnel. The light given off by the display is different from the light received by the camera on the other end.

[–]Natanael_L 10 points11 points ago

Pesky EM only portals. Only bosons gets to have fun...

[–]f1rstman 1 point2 points ago

[–]AscentofDissent 312 points313 points ago

Buy all the stock!

[–]03Titanium 177 points178 points ago

Aperture is worse than bankrupt.

[–]SometimesATroll 15 points16 points ago

Buy all the stock for 12 cents and a rubber band!

[–]keenerz 62 points63 points ago

wait... whats Apertures stock symbol.

[–]juliovega914 171 points172 points ago

[–]Cegrocks 91 points92 points ago

Needs more istockphoto watermark.

[–]IfYouCantTrustSanta 4 points5 points ago

True enough

[–]galloog1 28 points29 points ago

CAKE

[–]ZedZeeZee 4 points5 points ago

LEMON

[–]HylianTX2 10 points11 points ago

Lee Lemon Sir!

[–]ReadsYourComments 42 points43 points ago

[–]bamfsalad 11 points12 points ago

Odd and I appreciate the effort as opposed to other novelty accounts.

[–]lazylion_ca 92 points93 points ago

I always thought it would be cool to link two bars like this.

Have the entire wall in two bars be just a giant video screen and cameras with real time two way video feed.

Have the music piped in so both bars have the same entertainment and you can literally dance with someone who is on the other side of the world.

[–]Serotone 37 points38 points ago

Latency.

[–]CoolMoD 24 points25 points ago

Booze will correct for latency.

[–]TransAm 16 points17 points ago

Latency of less than a second....

[–]Serotone 16 points17 points ago

It would still look silly when you're dancing with someone.

[–]greyjackal 41 points42 points ago

Because the lunging about on a Friday night usually looks so sensible?

[–]Serotone 11 points12 points ago

It does at the time.

[–]greyjackal 8 points9 points ago

Good point, well made.

/slips on dancing boots

[–]pacman404 7 points8 points ago

1 second of latency while syncing a song or dance may as well be a completely different song or dance.

[–]ebertek 0 points1 point ago

The music in one bar should be offset by the latency caused by transferring the video stream.

[–]otter111a 20 points21 points ago

There was a bar in NYC (Perhaps called fun) that had something like this about a decade ago. But the cameras linked the mens room to the ladies room.

Edit: The bathrooms did not share a wall

[–]lazylion_ca 10 points11 points ago

I somehow think this could have been accomplished with a sledgehammer.

[–]tiglionabbit 9 points10 points ago

That sounds like a terrible idea and also terribly inefficient. Why would you use cameras when you could just put in a window?

[–]otter111a 6 points7 points ago

That would require that the bathrooms share a wall.

[–]rknDA1337 69 points70 points ago

Have you tried jumping through it?

[–]Roboticide 61 points62 points ago

They need to set up a second set of camera's that watch the portal, just in the hopeful event this happens.

[–]pseudocaveman 31 points32 points ago

And the person who does it first gets a promotion.

[–]RoboNinjaPirate 44 points45 points ago

No, the person who does it successfully gets a promotion!

[–]txFirehawk 24 points25 points ago

Sounds like upper management talking.. Thanks!

[–]ALGUIENoALGO 1 point2 points ago

gets a relocation

[–]no_were_musicians 2 points3 points ago

This is the first thought that came to my mind.

[–]POTaDOS 111 points112 points ago

I am unable to verify how you were able to remove the 
Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device off of the premises.  


Please provide your employee ID and location of employment    
and an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device Off-site-Lending-Verification-Specialist 
will be dispatched to assist you. Please do not leave your current 
location.

[–]Rock_Hound 2 points3 points ago

[–]dromader 23 points24 points ago

I'm almost sure that it's NSFW to put a big panel in front of the fire alarm.

[–]pacman404 7 points8 points ago

SO LITERAL

[–]puddintank 64 points65 points ago

Is it ok for it to be blocking that fire alarm like that?

[–]Dmitri_Karamazov 159 points160 points ago

I bet you get really wild on the weekends.

[–]alle0441 19 points20 points ago

Meh... I don't think it's blocking much. Only the nearby deaf midgets might be in trouble during a fire.

[–]Southtown85 11 points12 points ago

And let's face it, they're probably going to die in an emergency situation anyway.

[–]WalkAndSkank 5 points6 points ago

I feel bad for laughing so hard

[–]bretttwarwick 12 points13 points ago

Good point. A fire in the other building could set off the alarm.

[–]phantombluejay 15 points16 points ago

I feel I should mention: In six or seven months the novelty factor is going to wear off and then it's just going to be a giant spot on the wall, a gaping stain, reminding you of the mundane day to day activity on the other side of the country. Animosity will build. Superiority complexes will start growing like nettles hopped up on miracle grow. And don't forget lots of good old fashion loathing.

Of course, they will feel the same about you.

Then, fed up, several employees take a stand: smashing the camera.

The guilty parties are fired.

Unemployed, still filled with resentment and loathing, they plot and plan until a scheme to destroy the building at the other end of the portal is born.

The plan, set loose, runs mad with uncontrollable rage. The end result: The world in ashes.

[–]fugumaster 10 points11 points ago

I would be tempted to jump through that

[–]bigrob1 17 points18 points ago

This is a really interesting idea. I can see this becoming a standard thing for the elderly or remote individuals who have a hard time meeting people. They could have static, passive communities on webcams that are on larger displays and maybe sound as well so that you dont feel like your skyping with someone, but just going day to day. "hey frank how are you" "good bob you". And If you didnt like your community you could leave.

[–]Silly_Look 31 points32 points ago

That is awesome!

I would Wile E Coyote into that at 20 miles and hour without a second thought.

[–]heardlb 22 points23 points ago

Is there a 3 hour time difference?

[–]IfYouCantTrustSanta 61 points62 points ago

Portal 3: A Link to the Past

[–]momosa 17 points18 points ago

I wanted to set up something like that for my son's room as a baby monitor!

[–]StewieBanana 66 points67 points ago

then he would be able to see you and mommy making him a brother.

[–]Ascii_Disapproval 140 points141 points ago

  |                                                       |
ಠ_|                                                       |_ಠ
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[–]Eagle20Fox2 21 points22 points ago

WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH MORE CREATIVE THAN ME?!

[–]drtide4 6 points7 points ago

I'd be the asshole on the west coast mooning the webcam.

[–]esper2142 7 points8 points ago

Hi -- I'm a network engineer with access to all kinds of fun toys. My IT dept. wants to know the steps you took to do this.

Any chance of that? We want to get one up and running! :-)

[–]FROSTYTHEDROMAN 9 points10 points ago

there's an endless amount of pranks that could be played through that webcam..

[–]Charm_City_Charlie 25 points26 points ago

Best thing i can come up with is to make it so that periodically it displays some sort of freaky transparent ghost overlayed on the feed, and then when it detects motion from the other side, it goes back to normal. So every so often as someone walks by they would think they saw something, but upon inspection it would never be there.
Edit: Static-y slender man perhaps?

[–]pseudonym1066 4 points5 points ago

Ooh. Like what? Please name some.

[–]FROSTYTHEDROMAN 5 points6 points ago

the goat

[–]Korben__Dallas 4 points5 points ago

You should comment on the weight variance of people in the other office.

[–]Yarik32 16 points17 points ago

Seriously dude, this is a triumph....

[–]purefloat[!] 24 points25 points ago

 -----------------
|      NOTES      |
|-huge success    |
|                 |
|                 |
|                 |
|                 |
|                 |
 -----------------

[–]JRobDrifter 4 points5 points ago

Theirs better be orange!

[–]thatawesomedude 3 points4 points ago

Requesting a pic from the west coast office now.

[–]grachi 3 points4 points ago

and so I continue to realize and learn with each passing day that where I work, my office is in no way fun or interesting what-so-ever.

[–]tidder112 2 points3 points ago

This is such a great idea. I feel this networking tool could be commercialized very well. Needs to be in High Definition, and the camera hidden in behind the mirror portal.

[–]BShears 2 points3 points ago

The west coast office looks like Mercy Hospital.

[–]ChemistryPony 1 point2 points ago

What happens when the internet goes down while you're traversing the portals? It's too gruesome to imagine.

[–]heyaspire 2 points3 points ago

I believe the question is, can you walk through it?