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1880
1881

Chilling out on the tube.. like a boss. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by liamrichards

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[–]CUNT_DESTROYER_3000 171 points172 points ago

I like how everyone on the row across from them is trying their best to pretend there isn't a giant dog sitting in the subway.

[–]DeadeyeDuncan 153 points154 points ago

Standard tube etiquette: Don't make eye contact and don't comment on the other passengers

[–]javastripped 19 points20 points ago

I wonder what the most weird/fucked up thing you could do before someone is like 'dude? WTF'

[–]turdburglersc 22 points23 points ago

im pretty sure if you took your trousers (pants) off people wouldnt say anything, but someone would make a stand if you started jacking it right there.

[–]london_ash 11 points12 points ago

londoner here. i can confirm that someone can take off pants on the tube without anyone else commenting. haven't seen anyone jack off though

[–]sycoraxfleet 14 points15 points ago

just wait, tomorrow someone will get on the tube at Cockfosters and will jack it until Piccadilly.

[–]douggoblue 2 points3 points ago

I decided I wasn't mature enough to be in London when I giggled every time I heard my train was going to Cockfosters when I was riding the tube downtown from Heathrow this summer.

[–]Vietcrab 0 points1 point ago

Born and raised in London, 22 years on and I still have to suppress a smile every time, you're one of us my friend.

[–]As_a_Brit 3 points4 points ago

Alie, I have taken the tube in nothing but a bed sheet and nothing was said.

[–]homeless_in_london 4 points5 points ago

A mate of mine pissed into a bottle while facing the window. Nobody said a word.

Also I never thought I'd see the word 'alie' on the Internet.

[–]stoatyboy 9 points10 points ago

Mate, you're a Londoner. It's trousers.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]stoatyboy 2 points3 points ago

What, boxers?

[–]mahoganywolf 1 point2 points ago

Boxers are still pants. Where are you from?

[–]deadman7767 0 points1 point ago

The things you see on the central line these days

[–]Bacon_Face 5 points6 points ago

Lets not steal Mr. Chappelle's joke. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtqEknAtyQQ

[–]turdburglersc 11 points12 points ago

because a guy who uses the word trousers clearly watches chappelle

[–]Bacon_Face -1 points0 points ago

i from time to time throw out the ole' "trouser snake"

[–]avelertimetr 4 points5 points ago

And then there's also Improv Everywhere's no pants subway ride

[–]polishinator 1 point2 points ago

i miss Mr. Chappelle fumiest comedian in the world

[–]The51stState -1 points0 points ago

Seems like a reasonable threshold.

[–]nebbish 1 point2 points ago

I saw someone get a pipe out and start smoking crack a couple of years ago, no-one said anything

[–]--Heisenberg-- 50 points51 points ago

The dog broke the etiquette!

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 0 points1 point ago

It's also standard dog etiquette. Making eye contact is a sign of aggression in dogs.

[–]hobovision 24 points25 points ago

I would pet the fuck out of that dog.

[–]ZoFreX 2 points3 points ago

Relevant Michael McIntyre

[–]bejouled 1 point2 points ago

He is, in all ways, fabulous.

[–]tehbrucebanner 1 point2 points ago

I thought he was married?

[–]bejouled 0 points1 point ago

ok, except for gay fabulous. but even he realizes he acts very camp.

[–]jimmytruelove 0 points1 point ago

gold

[–]pooterpon 2 points3 points ago

I seriously don't get it, all it does is make riding a train awkward and uncomfortable as hell. I'd flat out compliment the size of that man's pooch and I've done it before when I've seen huge dogs.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 254 points255 points ago

Why would you take the subway when you have a horse sized dog you could be riding?

[–]Frozenshades 116 points117 points ago

He's lazy too.

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 45 points46 points ago

Then attach him to another horse sized dog

[–]ins4n1ty 30 points31 points ago

SITCOOOOOOM

[–]paralacausa 2 points3 points ago

Working Like A Dog; this Fall, join Dave, the not-so-great, Dane as he battles the drudgery of the 9-to-5. Voiced by Dustin Diamond, Dave encounters endless hillarious situations and zany characters every day on the Northeast Commuter Line

[–]crzystve42 53 points54 points ago

Ever since the Mystery Machine got impounded, this is how the gangs been getting around

[–]Breathing_Balls 15 points16 points ago

Who is banging Thelma though?

I always wondered that...

[–]crzystve42 48 points49 points ago

No one. No one banged Velma. Mainly because right as she'd climax she'd scream "jinkies!!" and no one wants to hear that

[–]TimmyFTW 26 points27 points ago

I very much would like to hear that. In fact now I can't think about anything else!

[–]fayehanna 5 points6 points ago

Especially if it was the Velma from the live- action movie. me-ow!

[–]Damital 7 points8 points ago

I think I know: http://xhamster.com/movies/922758/shaggy_nails_velma.html (NSFW)

[–]obvioustroll0000 9 points10 points ago

Velma

[–]Jimmy_Poon 1 point2 points ago

Scoobie.

[–]Yoyo8 2 points3 points ago

ROOBIE ROOBIE ROOOOO.

[–]ppyil 33 points34 points ago

ITS CALLED THE TUBE!!

[–]shizzler 15 points16 points ago

YEAH CENTRAL LINE REPRESENT!

[–]Creidhne 3 points4 points ago

I don't live in London, but I stayed with relatives out in Loughton and so I feel a sense of camaraderie with you. Go Central Line!

[–]homeless_in_london 2 points3 points ago

NORTHERN LINE, WHERE MY GUYS AT???

[–]niftyjack 2 points3 points ago

In their homes.

Sorry.

[–]homeless_in_london 5 points6 points ago

:(

[–]ApsleyHouse 0 points1 point ago

Uhh... Go Piccadilly. Our depot is Cockfosters!

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 8 points9 points ago

I don't know better, I'm just a dumb American.

[–]mrhulio 5 points6 points ago

We forgive you

[–]zyzzogeton 2 points3 points ago

It's what Thor would do

[–]SexualHarasmentPanda 2 points3 points ago

Because you need to be a jockey sized human to ride a horse sized dog.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 7 points8 points ago

A jockey is a jockey sized human

[–]SexualHarasmentPanda 6 points7 points ago

Jockeys aren't people silly.

[–]leafsleafs17 0 points1 point ago

Who says only humans can ride horses?

[–]akatherder 4 points5 points ago

No one on the subway knows whose dog it is.

[–]barton100 15 points16 points ago

day 48 and the humans still don't think I'm a dog

[–]jh1906 0 points1 point ago

actually that would kill them because their hearts are weak and also great danes are lap dogs they like to sit wherever they are

[–]AwesomePantalones 1 point2 points ago

I find it funny you think it was the human's idea originally...

[–]EvTheSmev 1 point2 points ago

That's Colby. He's moving away from home for a while.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]blazaiev 87 points88 points ago

    he thinks he's people. that's cute

    [–]--Heisenberg-- 16 points17 points ago

    He's good people.

    As said on The Wire. A lot.

    [–]vote100binary 2 points3 points ago

    Good police. Poe - lease.

    [–]ratlater 3 points4 points ago

    Sheeeeeiiiiit.

    [–]MrHappyMan 1 point2 points ago

    Yo momma so fat!

    Note: I just finished the last episode of The Wire the other day. Sad to see it go.

    [–]pete2532 0 points1 point ago

    We was goodfellas.

    [–]london_ash 4 points5 points ago

    i wonder if he has a special type of oyster card

    [–]astrograph 0 points1 point ago

    dat ass

    [–]Carvinrawks 1 point2 points ago

    Simpsons reference or not, I'm upvoting you for the Simpsons reference I came here to make. Jolly good.

    [–]Pandas23 7 points8 points ago

    Yay, someone else who sees "He thinks he's people!" as originating from the Simpsons (10+ years ago). Same with "meh" - totally originated on the Simpsons.

    [–]Carvinrawks 2 points3 points ago

    Don't forget "Yoink."

    [–]IamA_Big_Fat_Phony 1 point2 points ago

    Go on Mojo show Marge your happy dance.

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHxOiFxNDzw#t=3m03s

    [–]le-dude 0 points1 point ago

    Stampy, no?

    [–]paul_london 30 points31 points ago

    He's on the Central Line, probably to South Woofford

    [–]paul_london 21 points22 points ago

    Perhaps change to the district line, just a few stops to Barking

    [–]shizzler 10 points11 points ago

    Almost halfway between East Ham and Bacontree. Sure he'll love it.

    [–]george_nunny 6 points7 points ago

    He might stop off at Baconside.

    [–]SirFudge 7 points8 points ago

    Then on to the DLR to get home to the Isle of Dogs.

    [–]paul_london 5 points6 points ago

    That's the Doglands Light Railway of course, via Canine Town

    [–]As_a_Brit 2 points3 points ago

    Better stop off for a snack on the way- Marylebone?

    [–]wadjet_ki 2 points3 points ago

    Nah, that's the train to Epping.

    [–]geusebio 3 points4 points ago

    woofsh

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]Mothdrop 56 points57 points ago

      I love it when dogs get on the tube because it distracts me from all the people I hate.

      [–]Uaedaien 10 points11 points ago

      They should not be on the seats.

      [–]debussi 11 points12 points ago

      You going to tell that, to that dog?

      [–]albino_walrus 10 points11 points ago

      Do you always insert commas, in the middle of your sentences?

      [–]JacobCurry 7 points8 points ago

      Commas how do, they work?

      [–]Loopins 0 points1 point ago

      come on people, he likes to do it.

      [–]lostmygravitas 5 points6 points ago

      You are right. There is enough to worry about having been on the seats to add a dog's dingleberry smeared ass to the list. The person who downvoted you should be forced to sit in dog shit covered seats as penance.

      [–]KinokoSama 20 points21 points ago

      If you squint really hard, it looks like the lady has dog legs.

      [–]vote100binary 5 points6 points ago

      Confirmed.

      [–]JacobCurry 1 point2 points ago

      Hot.

      [–]fatkaren 15 points16 points ago

      TIL dogs are allowed on the tube in London.

      [–]george_nunny 10 points11 points ago

      So someone can take a dog, but I can't take a bike?

      [–]gooneruk 4 points5 points ago

      With the obvious exception of this one, most dogs are pretty small and don't take up much space. A bike, on the other hand...

      [–]Uaedaien -3 points-2 points ago

      Dogs are dirty poop machines, they should not be on the seats.

      [–]ANUSBLASTER_MKII 1 point2 points ago

      You can take a bike outside of peak hours.

      [–]a_crutch_is_a_crutch 2 points3 points ago

      I'd love to see the owner trying to carry that dog up the escalators.

      [–]HothMonster 0 points1 point ago

      Why would the need to carry it?

      [–]sgehig 0 points1 point ago

      Reading the link would probably have been an idea.

      [–]HothMonster 0 points1 point ago

      So it would.

      [–]Uaedaien 1 point2 points ago

      Sadly.

      [–]amandalibre 0 points1 point ago

      Blast… I would love to be able to take my dog on public transportation. If only pit bulls weren't banned in England...

      [–]Guboj 8 points9 points ago

      You can see the guy with the cap is wondering why the hell he didn't bring his horse with him too.

      [–]PlasticKiwi 7 points8 points ago

      She never got mugged again.

      [–]MrHappyMan 27 points28 points ago

      LONDON! :D

      [–]Dooey123 6 points7 points ago

      The olympic dog sitting was the best!!!

      [–]Reapist 3 points4 points ago

      MIND THE GAP

      [–]MrHappyMan 1 point2 points ago

      MIND THE SLEEPING HOBO

      [–]exatorp 2 points3 points ago

      CENTRAL LINE!

      [–]theGreatHoward 5 points6 points ago

      I'm from London too!! :D

      [–]london_ash 8 points9 points ago

      me too! asl?

      [–]MrHappyMan 1 point2 points ago

      Yay!

      [–]mahoganywolf 0 points1 point ago

      You and 8 million other people (me included). I wouldn't be all that surprised.

      [–]andy1811 1 point2 points ago

      y'all have nicer metros than montreal... dogs can't even ride them here

      [–]TheBlueButton 0 points1 point ago

      Just FYI I had the feeling you might be from manchester for some reason so your accent in my head was as such.

      [–]MrHappyMan 0 points1 point ago

      Just from my username?

      [–]TheBlueButton 0 points1 point ago

      Idk... I think I assume all Brits I cant hear are from Manchester now that I think about it...

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]dell_icious 4 points5 points ago

        SCOOBY DOOBIE DOO

        [–]BrodyApproves 3 points4 points ago

        Even dogs know how to travel economically.

        [–]ekib 2 points3 points ago

        fixed

        [–]cjb630 19 points20 points ago

        Allergic to dogs? GO FUCK YOURSELF.

        [–]Blazeinpain 18 points19 points ago

        Eh? it's just a dog sitting like a people on the subway, you don't need to dig into it

        [–]oremia 2 points3 points ago

        I'll make sure to never bring peanuts or strawberries on the train too, and I'll be sure to ask if each car is completely cleaned over after every passenger gets on or off.

        Public transportation means people need to bring animals to the vet, too.

        [–]Jasminbulle 0 points1 point ago

        Considering allergies to dogs generally don't entail you eating the dogs, unlike strawberries or peanuts, that's a bit of a flawed argument. That being said, moving to another carriage is possible.

        load more comments (1 reply)

          load more comments (8 replies)

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

            "Like a boss"

            Please choke to death on a cock.

            [–]overused-meme-alert 8 points9 points ago

            Like a boss

            W e e E O O WEEEOO W E E e O O

            .

            [–]bfogarty27 0 points1 point ago

            that dog looks to be about horse sized, that'll do

            [–]ThunderGyra 0 points1 point ago

            Like a boss like a sir gem just nailed it

            [–]StewieBanana 0 points1 point ago

            Wow.

            [–]LiteweightPhenomenal 0 points1 point ago

            I almost played that at work with my volume all the way up while one of my bosses was around.

            [–]SemiProJoe 1 point2 points ago

            LMAO. Same here. Boss is in the cube behind me on a conference call. I never middle clicked a tab so quickly.

            [–]Upper_Cunting 0 points1 point ago

            I see you brought your horse onto the subway.

            [–]toronto_gosh 2 points3 points ago

            For some reason, those old Marmaduke cartoons that I used to read when I was little totally flashed in my head when I saw this picture!

            [–]q77e 0 points1 point ago

            yep good ol marmaduke, im a kid and am thankful my grandpa saved alot of the old comics

            [–]mellooo 2 points3 points ago

            Id be scared to see the size of his shits

            [–]prof9000 2 points3 points ago

            I don't like this at all.

            [–]Ozymandias12 2 points3 points ago

            Day 23: The humans still do not suspect I am dog

            [–]UnreachablePaul 2 points3 points ago

            Who does that? And someone suppose to sit after this dog? Did you clean his butt? Disgusting...

            [–]ZuFFuLuZ 2 points3 points ago

            I agree, but now that I think of it, it's probably not the worst thing you can find on a tube seat.

            [–][deleted] ago

            [deleted]

            [–]maczero 1 point2 points ago

            That's a big dogie!

            [–]Omegaman2010 2 points3 points ago

            Great Dane :-) I have one. He sits on the couch like that all the time

            [–]philbob8 1 point2 points ago

            LIKE A BOSS GEM FINDING LEVEL: 9000

            [–]overused-meme-alert 2 points3 points ago

            like a boss

            FFFTTAAANNNGGGGG

            [–]dcunited 1 point2 points ago

            He's probably used to sitting in chairs.

            [–]Ejvind 1 point2 points ago

            This is how tall people also feel.

            [–]rand0mnewb 1 point2 points ago

            is it just me or do the dogs markings look kinda like digital camouflage?

            [–]PraetorianXX 1 point2 points ago

            Ah, the Central Line; I miss you like I miss explosive diarrhea

            [–]imRegistering2 1 point2 points ago

            The tallest dog ever lived, thats a big dog.

            [–]yesca18 0 points1 point ago

            She will NEVER get mugged.

            [–]DrummerDave1012 1 point2 points ago

            I have a great Dane who sits on the couch just like this

            [–]me_me_me_me_me_ 1 point2 points ago

            If I were in that car, fate would inevitably put me in the seat directly across from that dog.

            [–]ButtFuckSlutsGoNuts 0 points1 point ago

            If I were in that car, my desire to play with that giant fucking people-dog would put me in the seat across from it.

            [–]nropotdetcidda 0 points1 point ago

            Imagine the look on the persons face directly across from the dog. It looks like he's staring him down.

            [–]patricknayani 0 points1 point ago

            central line yeyeyeyeyeyeee

            [–]DebacleRoberts 0 points1 point ago

            "I like your brontosaurus."

            [–]KiLLaKRaGGy 0 points1 point ago

            RELEVANT!

            [–]AKRONPORBARACK 0 points1 point ago

            I must not act nervous. Dogs can smell fear. I must not act nervous. Dogs can smell fear. I must not act nervous. Dogs can smell fear. I must not act nervous. Dogs can smell fear.

            [–]MorningHaze 1 point2 points ago

            That's a huuuuge bitch.

            [–]mitovmeio 0 points1 point ago

            Nobody will ever convince a great dane it isn't actually a person.

            [–]EuropeanLady -1 points0 points ago

            Cute dog but if he was sitting across from me on the subway, I'd be somewhat petrified.

            [–]limtindsay 0 points1 point ago

            Excellent posture.

            [–]treetop82 0 points1 point ago

            Takes shit....train derails.

            [–]yurakuNec 1 point2 points ago

            Pooch clearly doesn't understand the "no eye contact" on the tube rule, Look at him, right up in the face of them.
            What a sir.

            [–]fixorater 0 points1 point ago

            That is a fairly large dog.

            [–]Tier4 0 points1 point ago

            Leave "like a boss" back in 2009 where it belongs, please

            [–]Notloc24 0 points1 point ago

            gee how did you get a horse to sit like that in the subway?

            [–]Toxaris71 0 points1 point ago

            It must have been a bit of an awkward ride for the person opposite the dog.

            [–]Thepeoplesman 0 points1 point ago

            ...These are my cats

            [–]Pyroninja30 0 points1 point ago

            When I first glanced at this I thought it was a horse.

            [–]peteralexisthompson 0 points1 point ago

            It is my sincere hope this dog stared pointedly at the person sitting across the aisle the entire time.

            [–]donald_margolis 0 points1 point ago

            Maybe I should bring my horse? Would they be ok with it too?

            [–]bluedishwasher 0 points1 point ago

            central line?

            [–]Parkerman 0 points1 point ago

            Silly dog, that's a people chair!

            [–]middledigitman 0 points1 point ago

            Central Line staying classy

            [–]atheistukjewthrowawa 1 point2 points ago

            Man, I fucking love it when something unusual gets on the tube. Whether it's an enormous dog or just a small person, it always brightens my day.

            [–]rosesareredviolets 0 points1 point ago

            sigh I really wanted to get a look at that lady wearing the wife beaters's tattoos.

            [–]cruisingthrulife 0 points1 point ago

            And not a fuck was given then.

            [–]Landpuma 0 points1 point ago

            My white Dane sits like this all the time.

            [–]chilliberry 0 points1 point ago

            The real question is, does the dog have an Oyster card?

            [–]budsy 0 points1 point ago

            The dog must be right up in the guys face across the isle.

            [–]ejpolot 0 points1 point ago

            Oh man, I had a really great pun to use on this photo, but I lost my train of thought.

            [–]lawlshane 1 point2 points ago

            I hope it has a clean asshole

            [–]Schobbo 0 points1 point ago

            That looks like he's about to take a dump on that seat

            [–]A_Strangelove 1 point2 points ago

            I have two Great Danes and can confirm that this is a totally natural pose for them.

            [–]TheRodofGod 1 point2 points ago

            No kidding. As normal as it gets.

            [–]thesplendor 0 points1 point ago

            MIND THA' GAP MATE

            [–]DarthOtter 0 points1 point ago

            So, when you hear "YouTube" does it parse kind of like "YouSubway"? Seriously, I'm curious.

            [–]KennyWells 0 points1 point ago

            Reminds me of a dog named....zack

            [–]CUNT_BANGER 0 points1 point ago

            Dem legs.

            [–]maketimmycry 0 points1 point ago

            I feel like that black guy is on every train ever

            [–]maximusgladiator 1 point2 points ago

            Deal with it http://i.imgur.com/0HD3t.gif

            [–]DocWhom 1 point2 points ago

            Look at how big that dog is!

            [–]I-hate-reposts -4 points-3 points ago

            Disgusting...

            load more comments (19 replies)

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