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1359
1360

And...oh well (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by TheUnforgivenII

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[–]DeathMetalViking666 88 points89 points ago

From the men side, you missed 'Because no one is in the house' and 'Because I was bored'

[–]toolschism 35 points36 points ago

Because I was bored.. Story of my life.

[–]SunAndCigarrets 23 points24 points ago

Procrasturbation.

[–]procrastibation 16 points17 points ago

You called.

[–]SunAndCigarrets 5 points6 points ago

You're the hero Reddit deserves.

[–]procrastibation 4 points5 points ago

I've got some time before hero like duties are required, be right back.

[–]MarioBGE 21 points22 points ago

And because "there was a NSFW link on reddit".

[–]Random_Link_Roulette 4 points5 points ago

Advert on TV that got you thinking, and then you went to reddit and found a GW post to entertain your self.

[–]PiratesARGH 13 points14 points ago

Same for women.

[–]edisekeed 3 points4 points ago

and because i want to go to sleep

[–]Korbio0621 83 points84 points ago

I read this while scratching my balls. Aaaaaaaaand here we go.

[–]so_carelessly_here 28 points29 points ago

"5 hours ago"

You done yet, dude?

[–]Korbio0621 50 points51 points ago

Oh yeah. You know how it is, had to go to sleep after

[–]yuruku 8 points9 points ago

Wake n' bake, fap n' nap.

[–]Midbacon 0 points1 point ago

I may or may not use this in the future.

[–]carloscarllos 8 points9 points ago

Maybe he's training for a fapathon.

[–]so_carelessly_here 6 points7 points ago

Then that raises the question : Why aren't you?

[–]kezeran -2 points-1 points ago

I would love to be in a fapathon , anybody want to race? Last to finish wins!

[–]joman584 0 points1 point ago

Then I will always end up in last.

[–]gordofrog 1 point2 points ago

So...a three-legged race?

[–]Lankus 4 points5 points ago

Go hard or go home

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 129 points130 points ago

I must be an odd women because I do it to fall asleep quicker.

[–]CoolStoryYo 62 points63 points ago

Yea me too.... Except I'm a male

[–]aoeu00 28 points29 points ago

Yup. except I'm both.

[–]EverChillingLucifer 29 points30 points ago

~TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE~

[–]enjoime33 1 point2 points ago

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE

[–]geosensation 0 points1 point ago

usually wakes me up when I do it late at night.

[–]lepasse 21 points22 points ago

I am a woman and it makes me fall asleep. I often masturbate when I'm having a hard time getting to sleep. Does the trick every time.

[–]AKineticTypographer 97 points98 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/yDeru.gif

[–]frustrationman 36 points37 points ago

It's good, but the last scene could stay just a little bit longer.

[–]grachi 19 points20 points ago

That's what she said.

[–]robotic_negro 8 points9 points ago

Good work man. I would love to learn how you made it.

[–]Alexithymia 5 points6 points ago

Dude this is awesome!

[–]TomaTozzz 3 points4 points ago

You HAVE to teach me!

[–]Emperoricecream 7 points8 points ago

I see potential. I expect big things

[–]emives1 3 points4 points ago

With great power, comes great responsibility

[–]AlexMaggot 3 points4 points ago

This is going to be great, I just know it.

[–]dont_press_ctrl-W 3 points4 points ago

You need to make those pause a little at the end so we have a chance to read it.

[–]koko775775 3 points4 points ago

Please teach us how to do it!

[–]justabrickinthewall 5 points6 points ago

As if s/he is going to give away the key to all that potential karma.

[–]Ghilanna 10 points11 points ago

yeah me two, after finishing I just feel really sleepy and fall asleep in a couple of minutes. Masturbating does wonders for that :D

[–]OhJustNothing 18 points19 points ago

...me two?

[–]Ghilanna 12 points13 points ago

love it how commenting on reddit is like going on a mine field

[–]andy__t 3 points4 points ago

The other week I saw in the paper some scientists at Stanford (I think) found the reason for men being sleepy after orgasming, not the same in women though.

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 1 point2 points ago

Sex makes me smile uncontrollably and defiling myself is my sleeping pill. I also feel like I get a better nights sleep, too.

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 2 points3 points ago

My face after good sex

[–]MaritMonkey 10 points11 points ago

Something about getting your body all revved up and then letting it cool down again. I sometimes have a hard time falling asleep if I can't get off for whatever reason.

EDIT: Why the run-by downvotes? At least tell me how I'm being stupid; it's not willful ignorance I swear.

[–]robotic_negro 1 point2 points ago

/r/nofap

[–]MaritMonkey 0 points1 point ago

Only gave it a cursory glance, but thank you for the link!

[–]fgalv 4 points5 points ago

don't, it's full of pseudoscience

[–]MaritMonkey 1 point2 points ago

I will fine-toothed-comb through it later, but in any case I think it was intended to be helpful and therefore worthy of "thanks."

(Thanks for the warning!)

[–]Solid364 2 points3 points ago

Its like AA for chronic masterbaters

[–]iLuVtiffany 8 points9 points ago

dat user name.

[–]beachesatnormandy 1 point2 points ago

I'm pretty sure this is man made. Obviously it is to go to sleep, because of something that excited us (hot sex scene, lbgw, the like) and lastly because we are alone/bored. That one definitely is the last reason I masturbate.

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 2 points3 points ago

One graze of the nip on anything and I'm a water-slide. The lonely thing, too. PLEASE JUST STICK IT IN ME!!

[–]GGWithrow 1 point2 points ago

No so silent plea?

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 0 points1 point ago

Nope, more of an animalistic growl then pounce.

[–]GGWithrow 0 points1 point ago

I take it the field hasn't been plowed for awhile?!

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 0 points1 point ago

You would be correct sir/madame.

[–]GGWithrow 0 points1 point ago

frowns

I'm sure you could find someone around here to attend to your needs. Check out the fine people in /r/ForeverAlone if nothing else.

For the record I'm male.

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 0 points1 point ago

Thanks, to be honest though it's not that I can't get a guy it's that it seemed like with every guy I dated they got more and more clingy and wanting more of a "lets get married right now" kind of relationship from me. What's so wrong with just having some fun for awhile and get serious after the sex is boring?

[–]GGWithrow 0 points1 point ago

I might be out of line, but it sounds like you keep selecting dudes who are the relationship type.

Either this or you're not communicating to them in an absolutely crystal clear way what you're looking for in a relationship. Maybe it's time to look a guy in the eye and say "Hey, I wanna hang out, eat, drink, have sex, and enjoy being young. I don't want a boyfriend, I don't want a relationship, I'm not looking to spend a whole day cuddling and talking about our feelings. Does that work for you?"

You might be surprised by what that level of honesty gets you.

Of course, my advice is baseless and I know nothing of you and etc etc etc.

[–]Inessia 1 point2 points ago

This is what I read instead of the text for red. Women often do it to relax before going to sleep.

[–]mcvaglittlesquirt 1 point2 points ago

I solo perform most nights but especially on nights where I have to get a good amount of sleep for the next day.

[–]Inessia -1 points0 points ago

Oh really tell me more, do an AMA (sarcasm)

[–]takemedrunkimhomeKEG 0 points1 point ago

Me too. Or because I'm bored.

[–]Kwiamommy 0 points1 point ago

Me too! Wears me out. Better than any sleeping pill:)

[–]i_am_omega 20 points21 points ago

Personally, I just hate to wake up in the morning and see that my body has gone through all the effort to make a perfect boner for me, so kindly like "there you go buddy," and let it go to waste. Hence I am compelled to fap.

[–]Harold_Grundelson 18 points19 points ago

That is sexist...

is sexist...

sexist...

sex...

starts scratching balls

[–]halohunter 11 points12 points ago

I do it clear my sinuses. Clears up my blocked nose immediately.

[–]bw1870 6 points7 points ago

I do it to clear my mind.

[–]LordMorbis 7 points8 points ago

I never make a big decision without first having a fap. It makes sure my dick isn't involved in decisions that I want my brain to be making.

[–]dabork 0 points1 point ago

The fap test. About to test your ex? Better to the fap test.

[–]nightgoddess8443 23 points24 points ago

Where is the "I was in the shower." part for women?

[–]Ceejae 17 points18 points ago

You can't submit to online polls from the shower, so the data is skewed.

Don't think too much about it.

[–]lia_sang 19 points20 points ago

As a women, the red section should be labeled "because I was bored".

[–]muddzm 13 points14 points ago

More like "because I can."

[–]Idontlikebullshit 4 points5 points ago

Am I the only one around here who schedules their daily fappings?

[–]fgalv 10 points11 points ago

yeah probably, that's kind of weird.

[–]Idontlikebullshit 7 points8 points ago

Instead of scheduling it into the few hours after I get home from work and before I go to bed, I'll try to be normal and spontaneously whip it out while I'm at work for now on.

[–]fgalv 4 points5 points ago

danger tug. respect.

[–]VersatileLight 1 point2 points ago

Danger tugs are so much better.

[–]toadturtle3 1 point2 points ago

nope, it's the first thing i do when i get home from work if no one is home.

[–]dasthegreen 2 points3 points ago

I dunno if I should be sad or glad for the truthfulness of this.

[–]defiler86 3 points4 points ago

It's sad... I fall under the women's chart and I'm a guy.

[–]TheUnforgivenII[S] 3 points4 points ago

I'm right there with you man

[–]Fhistleb 4 points5 points ago

You know what internet.... You win this round. scratches balls dammit.

[–]Chevy50 4 points5 points ago

More like "because I saw this post"

[–]hu_ban_ban 2 points3 points ago

because I'm anticipating sexy fun times later and I want to last longer

[–]NeVeNGamingYT 2 points3 points ago

I disagree, I don't masturbate because I scratch my balls and one thing leads to another, I masturbate to fall asleep quicker.

[–]Byiswt 2 points3 points ago

Stress management. I really feel that should be a catagory.

[–]Permadrunkk 4 points5 points ago

You indefinably designed this for Reddit, because that right there is the Google chrome emblem.

[–]MNGaming 1 point2 points ago

Well yes, but the blue part should be green I think

[–]SuperiorGyri 2 points3 points ago

I'm sure whoever made this graphic is both man and woman and can easily make this psychological judgement.

[–]PhotoshopMogul -1 points0 points ago

50% accidentally scratched my balls too well, 50% want to go to sleep.

[–]Hachya -1 points0 points ago

All of the above.

[–]laikasghost -1 points0 points ago

Because I was bored and clicked on a NSFW link randomly.

[–]opex14 -1 points0 points ago

I'm a guy and mine would be all yellow

[–]cutiepatootieadipose 0 points1 point ago

You forgot my favorite... procrasturbation!!

[–]joeldavis 0 points1 point ago

It's like you have a window into my soul.

[–]xXStytchXx 1 point2 points ago

Curious thing happened. When I clicked on this, my request timed out before I could see it. And.... oh well. Upvote anyway.

[–]AnalBurns -1 points0 points ago

Punchline in title. Cahm an!

[–]bfinleyui 0 points1 point ago

All i saw: women schlick in Chrome, Guys use ... Spotify.

[–]Hazy_V 0 points1 point ago

AAAAARRRRRMMMMEEEENNNNIIIIIAAAA!!!!!!

[–]Daviderbestur -1 points0 points ago

Bored that's why not scratching my balls

[–]FlyingNarwhal68 0 points1 point ago

See post about masturbating; "and...oh well"

[–]geoffdovakiihn -2 points-1 points ago

Dont forget "because shes too tired "

[–]hatescreamingbabies -2 points-1 points ago

Relevant

[–]arisasdf 0 points1 point ago

What's up with the "please"?

[–]adyh -2 points-1 points ago

I really thought you'll make a Chrome reference... oh well.

See what I did there?

No? You're right, bad joke is bad.

[–]eyecite -4 points-3 points ago

Google Chrome

[–]sleepy_wall 2 points3 points ago

Mozilla Firefox

[–]BlizzGamer 0 points1 point ago

This information is wrong.

[–]gunnerxq -2 points-1 points ago

Guys I'm in class the itch has begun....

[–]Temazcal 0 points1 point ago

Woman here, my fap time usually results because I got high.. because I got high.. Because I got high badadadadumdum

[–]cursed_deity -5 points-4 points ago

this graph was made by a woman.

[–]descartes_daughter 3 points4 points ago

Funnily enough, I was thinking that it must have been made by a man.

[–]cursed_deity -3 points-2 points ago

if it was the person is probably mentally retarded if he only gets turned on by accidently scratching his balls.

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