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984
985

My girlfriend just broke up with me, this was my response when she asked what I'm going to do now. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by kaO_rosseforP

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[–]DoCa-Cola 1261 points1262 points ago

Seems like kind of a bitch move to break up with someone and ask what they're going to do now.

[–]SonicFlash01 732 points733 points ago

3 days later mine was telling me about the sex she was having with her neighbour
Bonus points: We had been engaged

edit: Fuck... I'm super depressed now...
edit 2: Sweet jeebus... my inbox got filled with replies. Before anyone breaks out the skeleton and velvet sheets, this was 18 months ago, I had moved on with my life since then and had made enough positive changes that I really don't care anymore; I'm perfectly happy. We talk on friendly terms still because even though she was a complete and total bitch in fights, we got along well enough otherwise. Not 'too' friendly though because she spent days burning bridges when we broke up. Would rather stick my dick in a wall socket.
My condolences to others that went through the same or worse.

[–]Deus_Machina 337 points338 points ago

Mine married the next guy she was with. Hugs?

[–]legendcc 253 points254 points ago

More like high fives!

[–]The_Derpening 227 points228 points ago

Yeah, sounds like these dudes lucked out.

[–]Level_32_Mage 202 points203 points ago

Seriously, Sonicflash01 dodged a fucking bullet right there.

[–]givecake 103 points104 points ago

Amen Lvl 32. edit. Not that I don't like people up voting something I say, but I was just saying I agree with Level_32_Mage, that's all. Whatever anyone else derives from it, comes only from their imagination.

[–]drewba 40 points41 points ago

Expert commentary. Well done, chaps.

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      [–]KingOyez 123 points124 points ago

      Hell yeah! Mine left me and married some guy, last I heard they were having a kid.

      I lucked out and am graduating from lawschool with only $120k debt! SUCKER!

      [–]alwaysdoit 95 points96 points ago

      Let's do the math!

      $120,000 at 6.8% over 17 years: $205,289.24

      Estimated cost of child over 17 years: $212,370 to $490,830

      You win!

      Oh wait, I guess I should end with,

      Dodging a bullet: priceless.

      [–]themauwinator 102 points103 points ago

      Borderlands 2 $60

      [–]HQYZerg 2 points3 points ago

      Actually Green Man Gaming has it for 36$ right now. Redeems on Steam and everything

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          [–]tandembandit 58 points59 points ago

          At least your debt doesn't cry out in the middle of the night, every night for the next 2-3 years (or however long it is those things take). Sleep well, knowing it'll only be interrupted on your own terms and not some dumb baby's.

          [–]runs-with-scissors 79 points80 points ago

          Yeah, babies are dumb.

          [–]MilitaryBees 30 points31 points ago

          No, really. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a baby? They're dumb as hell.

          [–]Silasco 23 points24 points ago

          So is running with scissors, but who am i to judge

          [–]koi88 14 points15 points ago

          I really liked Postal 2.

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            [–]yellowpride 13 points14 points ago

            Yep, fuck babies, am I right?! Who's with me and will also exclaim to fuck babies?

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              [–]KingOyez 8 points9 points ago

              Haha true, thanks for the kind words. However, it'll probably be me crying in the middle of the night.

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                [–]Johnsu 20 points21 points ago

                Hello oversaturated job market!

                [–]KingOyez 9 points10 points ago

                Hellz yeah! Luckily law school is super hard to get into, right?!?

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                    [–]TrappedInOhio 21 points22 points ago

                    As someone whose ex married the guy she cheated on me with — I got your backs. Bro hug

                    [–]oath_keeper 56 points57 points ago

                    3 out of 5 of my ex's are either married or engaged to the guy they started dating after me. I'm only 23.

                    [–]Johnsu 69 points70 points ago

                    Nice try, Ryan Renolds.

                    [–]Nsraftery 49 points50 points ago

                    You mean Dane Cook.

                    [–]Johnsu 18 points19 points ago

                    Eh. Fuck. It's time for me to go to bed.

                    [–]Jumpin_Jack_Flash 12 points13 points ago

                    Yea, mixing up a douche with a man who could turn me gay is quite uncalled for.

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                        [–]buzzkill_aldrin 20 points21 points ago

                        Dude, turn it into a business for people having trouble finding someone marriageable. A 60% success rate is pretty good!

                        1) Have them date you. 2) Have them break up with you after a few weeks. 3) Then they'll find a guy who'll marry them. 4) Profit!

                        [–]AshuraSpeakman 21 points22 points ago

                        Know how I know you've seen Good Luck Chuck?

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                          [–]woop_dee_flip_n_doo 3 points4 points ago

                          Don't feel bad, I'm sure you'll find a nice girl. Or maybe she'll find you!

                          [–]i_like_salad 3 points4 points ago

                          We could be twins.

                          [–]Fluser-070 3 points4 points ago

                          2/5 would date again

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                            [–]Neslom 35 points36 points ago

                            Mate of mine had this happen to him. Except the reason they broke up was because he wanted to get married and have kids she said she was not ready. Fast forward 6 months. He is on his third girlfriend (this one wont last either) and she is Married and has a baby bump.

                            [–]newtoschool 22 points23 points ago

                            I'm not exactly sure why, but "baby bump" makes me cringge.

                            [–]HaroldLauder 9 points10 points ago

                            Cringge makes me cringe.

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                              [–]OrangeTrilemma 31 points32 points ago

                              Mine's dating my brother. Drive-by?

                              Ninja-edit: we were also engaged

                              [–]justgottolondon 7 points8 points ago

                              This is interesting.

                              [–]OrangeTrilemma 62 points63 points ago

                              welp we were together for about 6 years. My brother was always incredibly friendly towards her, asking her to have coffee etc. (sans me). i always kinda shrugged it off.. i trusted them. When we broke up he doubled his efforts but she kept declining and didn't want anything to do with him. I found out and told him it would really hurt me if he tried to get with her, he is my big bro and she was pretty much a part of the family by then. Couple of months later he texted me saying "yeah so we're together now, fyi". Pretty much tore my entire family apart - I don't talk to him or my mum anymore and I have a lot of animosity toward some other family members who wanted to "supportive" to HIM through HIS tough time of hurting ME. wtf right.

                              It's cool i got antidepressants now and I don't talk to anyone

                              Edit: thanks for the reddit gold! oh you guys（●＾o＾●）

                              [–]Johnno74 13 points14 points ago

                              Fuck man... I'm so sorry.

                              Shit sucks sometimes... But time heals all wounds.

                              Are you OK?

                              [–]GenOmega 13 points14 points ago

                              time heals all wounds.

                              I hate this phrase because it really doesn't. You have to push past it and move on. Bear the scars with you as a reminder of past so it doesn't happen again.

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                                [–]CR4V3 3 points4 points ago

                                If there was ever a case for fratricide...

                                [–]SearchNerd 5 points6 points ago

                                It's ok. Family isn't the blood that runs through the veins but the love through the heart. I don't talk to my "family" and it took a while to find someone who loved me but it does happen! Wishing you all the best

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                                    [–]LadyLovelyLocks 7 points8 points ago

                                    Start advertising yourself as the real 'Good Luck Chuck'

                                    [–]Emher 7 points8 points ago

                                    My ex did the same...except she was with the next guy the majority of our relationship and didn't say anything, and even said yes when I proposed to her. Didn't say anything until like a month later when I learned it all when she broke up with me, explaining her behavior with "I didn't want to hurt you".

                                    To call her a "bitch" is a grossly derisive towards female dogs.

                                    [–]17th_level_Magus 6 points7 points ago

                                    Mine went back to her ex after 2 and a half years of us being together. Haven't heard anything else. Condolence five?

                                    [–]falloutmonk 2 points3 points ago

                                    Mine got engaged to the next guy. But then we started talking again. I hooked her up with another (female) ex of mine, she broke the engagement, and now we're all buds.

                                    [–]Xiattr 4 points5 points ago

                                    Most of my exes either had children with and/or got married to the next guy they wound up with.

                                    I'm not sure my sentence structure is sound, but you get my gist.

                                    AT first I was like, no fair. Then I began to understand how many bullets I'd dodged.

                                    [–]16bitZombieLunch 5 points6 points ago

                                    Mine married the next guy and is with kids now...I don't know about you, but I think we're much better off.

                                    She was 21 and he was 32.

                                    [–]Kitchenfire 8 points9 points ago

                                    Mine just announced on facebook that she's pregnant with her now husband who she cheated on me with! Hurray! Bullet so fucking dodged.

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                                      [–]ireadanddontpost 46 points47 points ago

                                      Mine was telling me how good her new guy was at giving her anal and how much she loved it.

                                      So what I'm saying is, I know that feel.

                                      [–]rickyrawesome 66 points67 points ago

                                      When they do shit like that it's because they're unhappy in some way. The relationship and/or sex is probably awful. If you broke up with someone and are in a successful healthy relationship you don't talk to your ex casually, much less brag about your sex life. You just don't need to.

                                      [–]ireadanddontpost 15 points16 points ago

                                      Yep. Don't worry, I know; this was long ago (in relative terms) and all has long since been revealed.

                                      I simply wished to empathize with SonicFlash01, for the feelings he feels are not dissimilar from the feelings I once felt, at a point in time.

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                                        [–]Johnsu 22 points23 points ago

                                        Of getting anal?

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                                          [–]SirWompalot 28 points29 points ago

                                          Good news: You missed making a huge mistake that you may have regretted later!

                                          It still sucks dude. I feel ya.

                                          [–]frapo 6 points7 points ago

                                          Borderlands 2 then!

                                          [–]Zexis 17 points18 points ago

                                          It appears that you were engaged to a complete cunt.

                                          You didn't need her! You're better off without someone like that, so it'll all be better in the end. Just keep a chin up, mate.

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                                            [–]_oogle 482 points483 points ago

                                            I was about to say...who even does that? Most likely a made up story.

                                            My rating: didn't happen/10.

                                            [–]criticdude 239 points240 points ago

                                            my ex asked that. I think she was hoping I would say, "I'm going to go get a job that pays 1mil a year to win you back." instead I said fuck you.

                                            [–]DitDer 197 points198 points ago

                                            And then she said, "Uhh wrong, we broke up."

                                            [–]DOSbomber 96 points97 points ago

                                            "Stacy, we broke up two months ago."

                                            [–]Omnipotent_Fox 18 points19 points ago

                                            Get the net.

                                            [–]zerosandwiches 29 points30 points ago

                                            Good call.

                                            [–]iDoiStuff 16 points17 points ago

                                            I really liked that video. I am now checking if it's on Netflix.ca

                                            EDIT: It's on Netflix. I know what I'm doing right now.

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                                              [–]HerpJersey 9 points10 points ago

                                              Why would you fuck her after she broke up with you?

                                              [–]The_Derpening 49 points50 points ago

                                              One more for the road.

                                              [–]nobodyknowsaboutthis 8 points9 points ago

                                              Careful with this.

                                              EDIT: Also, sometimes it just dm;hs.

                                              [–]IDDQD_ 6 points7 points ago

                                              Indeed. I'm stuck in a shitfilled circle and I can't get out.
                                              Run while it's not too late!

                                              [–]Boltsfan55 13 points14 points ago

                                              I'm not much of a fan of anal myself but what you do with your time is okay I guess.

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                                                      [–]PyrgzKrum 75 points76 points ago

                                                      Maybe she cared about you even if the relationship didn't work out. She might just want to know how things are going with you. Just because you're no longer a courting couple doesn't mean that you have to stop supporting each other etc.

                                                      edit: haha oh wow reddit and relationships huh?

                                                      [–][deleted] ago

                                                      [deleted]

                                                      [–]Deus_Machina 60 points61 points ago

                                                      I'm with you, "being friends" never pans out. Unless one of you goes gay afterward.

                                                      [–][deleted] ago

                                                      [deleted]

                                                      [–]Zombie_Feeder 57 points58 points ago

                                                      My ex didn't understand why I hated that her best friend is also her former fuck buddy. She told me they pretty much banged all over her apartment. He would come over with his buddies on the weekend and watch football with us. I could only take that awkwardness for one night. Lucky I got out of their.

                                                      [–]DigitalChocobo 74 points75 points ago

                                                      Finish your sentence! The suspense is killing me.

                                                      [–]Zombie_Feeder 96 points97 points ago

                                                      ...lives.

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                                                        [–]illiterate_poet 4 points5 points ago

                                                        Talk about getting shafted.

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                                                          [–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

                                                          Not true. It very, very rarely pans out if you go for "friends" right after (or soon after) breaking up.

                                                          However five years down the line? You're a lot more likely to be able to be friends.

                                                          I wouldn't say never in either case though.

                                                          [–]Strong__Belwas 38 points39 points ago

                                                          Y'all sound like some 15-year-olds.

                                                          [–]Schnee-Eule 25 points26 points ago

                                                          It's /r/gaming, what did you expect?

                                                          [–]Alphaeno 12 points13 points ago

                                                          Seriously, is no one mature in this thread? Some adults can maintain friendships with ex's. Not everyone can, but some people are able to.

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                                                              [–]laurelfamilyllc 16 points17 points ago

                                                              Being friends can work out in time. But there needs to be time apart to have that mental separation and to get your head straight. I'm pretty good friends with my two major exes but it took a year of non-contact to be comfortable giving a friendship a try. Any recent ex that comes at you with this stuff right after a breakup is a controlling clingy cunt

                                                              [–]VooDooPeanuts 4 points5 points ago

                                                              Haha, courting couple sounds so fancy

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                                                                  [–]redditis4queers 28 points29 points ago

                                                                  My rating: Borderlands 2 marketing team. Reddit is easily manipulated.

                                                                  [–]Alphaeno 6 points7 points ago

                                                                  I say plausible. I've been with people and if you're a good person and the break up was mutual, then something like this could happen.

                                                                  [–]Teyar 5 points6 points ago

                                                                  Oh, man, you would not believe how vindictive and cutting some people can be.

                                                                  [–]bearwich 29 points30 points ago

                                                                  The girl who broke my heart checks in with me every 6 months even though I'm doing awesome. I don't have the heart to tell her she is rubbing salt in my wounds. Girls are crazy. Guys are Naive.

                                                                  [–]apollo1888 19 points20 points ago

                                                                  Dude, just tell her. Why would you not? It's your life my man. I'm glad you are doing awesome-- make it even better by showing yourself some more respect on this issue.

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                                                                    [–]not_a_cia_operative 7 points8 points ago

                                                                    I wouldn't be so quick to discredit it. My ex broke up with me and said "I think it would be better if we were just friends, but if you want to move in with me, that'd be fun."

                                                                    People say shit that you wouldn't expect them to.

                                                                    [–]walluvjericho 5 points6 points ago

                                                                    Happened with me :(

                                                                    [–]d00m3d_d00d 3 points4 points ago

                                                                    You must be new to this place called Earth.

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                                                                      [–]TheThomaswastaken 9 points10 points ago

                                                                      One girlfriend went to great lengths to explain to me what she wants in her next boyfriend. Kept talking until I told her to STFU.

                                                                      [–]jeffpeli 43 points44 points ago

                                                                      My girlfriend asked me the same thing when we split. It's really just a bitch move. That's like me slapping books out of someone's hand and saying "whatchya gonna do now?"

                                                                      [–]woop_dee_flip_n_doo 19 points20 points ago

                                                                      I asked my ex boyfriend what he was going to do, not because I wanted to rub anything in, I was in the same shitty boat! I just wanted to know if he was going to be okay. I guess it's all in the way you ask it.

                                                                      What are you going to do now? as opposed to WATCHA GONNA DO NOW BITCH? HuH WHA RIGHT UHH!

                                                                      [–]AshuraSpeakman 17 points18 points ago

                                                                      PRO-TIP: "Are you gonna be alright?" is more empathetic, whereas "What are you gonna do now?" is...beyond what we want to think about after being dumped.

                                                                      [–]zersch 15 points16 points ago

                                                                      This is how the two statements read to me:

                                                                      (I'm kind of sad, you probably are too...) are you gonna be alright?

                                                                      (I'm all you had going for you, so...) what are you gonna do now?

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                                                                        [–]gen3ricD 46 points47 points ago

                                                                        I'm really curious as to why you would ask that. I've been on both ends of a break-up, and as a guy I can't fathom a situation (in the context of a breakup) where asking that would end up positive.

                                                                        [–]arudeandvulgarname 28 points29 points ago

                                                                        Female logic man, to me and you it doesn't make sense, but to them it's their way of being compassionate. Or it could just be them acting super awkward.

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                                                                              [–]yontartu 15 points16 points ago

                                                                              Actually, mine did that too...

                                                                              (of course, it may seem like I'm fabricating a story for karma as well.... damn)

                                                                              [–]zobbyblob 2 points3 points ago

                                                                              Mine knew what I was going to do. Skyrim came out three days after we broke up. Put in 130 hours in about 3 weeks.

                                                                              [–]ivenoideawhat 8 points9 points ago

                                                                              Yup, I'm sure OP posted it in the exact tone and context that it was said in!

                                                                              [–]Vouk73 9 points10 points ago

                                                                              Yeah, because breaking up means that every level of mature conversation is impossible.

                                                                              Maybe she just didn't love him anymore, but still cared about him as a person?

                                                                              Bitch move... that shit sounds incredibly childish.

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                                                                                [–]Envious_Sea 505 points506 points ago

                                                                                I love how you can wrongly interpret this.

                                                                                [–]criticdude 218 points219 points ago

                                                                                Yeah, one pistol is all it takes

                                                                                [–]PyrgzKrum 217 points218 points ago

                                                                                Borderlands 2 will have more than one pistol. In fact, judging by press coverage, we can expect over a dozen pistols in the game. Back to you John.

                                                                                [–]kaiden333 146 points147 points ago

                                                                                Allen please put dozens of pistols in the game.

                                                                                [–]Correctness 45 points46 points ago

                                                                                Not 87 bazillion?

                                                                                [–]zynix 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                pfft, dude that's total marketing speech, in reality its probably only going to have 7-8 bazillion and out of that you'll really only want 3-4 tops.

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                                                                                  [–]Relvnt_to_Yr_Intrsts 17 points18 points ago

                                                                                  I wish there was a sub like this. Every response to a post must be deliberately misunderstood and answered as if part of a silly news report. We'll be bring you live coverage of this if it ever happens, and now for the weather

                                                                                  [–]Uniqu3itl 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                  Its Gunna Rain!

                                                                                  [–]WishIWasKaitlynFaber 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                  It's raining sideways!

                                                                                  EDIT: and this is how every one of those threads would end

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                                                                                        [–]amkingdom 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                        That gun starts to look mighty friendly.

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                                                                                          [–]Daveezie 207 points208 points ago

                                                                                          I call bullshit. Don't act like you weren't going to play it even if she stayed with you.

                                                                                          [–]salmonmoose 96 points97 points ago

                                                                                          Let's face it, it's probably why she's moving on.

                                                                                          [–]capgetsreal 73 points74 points ago

                                                                                          If she broke up with him because he plays video games, then he dodged a huge fuckin' bullet.

                                                                                          [–]mitchij2004 30 points31 points ago

                                                                                          Not if he spends every free moment playing game like some people.

                                                                                          [–]tokeamoto 25 points26 points ago

                                                                                          I could spend every free moment doing anything and it would be weird...

                                                                                          [–]capgetsreal 8 points9 points ago

                                                                                          Well yes, that may be a possibility.

                                                                                          But I have been friends with girls who get really mad whenever their boyfriends play Xbox.

                                                                                          [–]Daveezie 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                          I have been boyfriend to such a shrew. Only made me want to play more so I could escape her for a while.

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                                                                                                [–]sleasyea 111 points112 points ago

                                                                                                Dear kaO_rosseforP's girlfriend, just in case you can't read between the lines...

                                                                                                http://i.imgur.com/GJEUK.jpg

                                                                                                [–]DerisiveMetaphor 37 points38 points ago

                                                                                                Photoshopped the forefinger down so the character is now flicking you off, just in case you also didn't see it.

                                                                                                [–]Zahir_SMASH 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                Took me a second,but when it clicked.... man,I got a good laugh.

                                                                                                [–]FAP_TO_WESTBORO 163 points164 points ago

                                                                                                I would have sent this

                                                                                                [–]Sacrificer 195 points196 points ago

                                                                                                I wouldn't do that if I were you

                                                                                                [–]Rreptillian 66 points67 points ago

                                                                                                OOOH OH GOD. IT'S NOT A LIQUID.

                                                                                                [–]Willomo 37 points38 points ago

                                                                                                I've had my disagreements with Family Guy but this is one of my favourite moments in animated TV.

                                                                                                [–]TheDorkMan 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                Good god he even has an open fracture with the bone sticking out and all.

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                                                                                                  [–]elteniento 54 points55 points ago

                                                                                                  Or this

                                                                                                  Changed the gif 'cause I like Fuzzy Pickles' better

                                                                                                  [–]Fuzzy_Pickles 133 points134 points ago

                                                                                                  The watermark and pause at the end of that were bothering me. So I made this one, please use it instead.

                                                                                                  [–]fulmtl 38 points39 points ago

                                                                                                  You're the hero I always wished I could be.

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                                                                                                        [–]elmatto 55 points56 points ago

                                                                                                        I had a buddy that went through a really rough breakup. The girl left him for some other dude. I forget the situation. Well...my friend basically took all his anger and sadness and hit the gym like a fucking animal. He had wanted to get in shape for a while and he decided now was the time. The dude bulked up and got freakin ripped. It was actually really impressive. Well...his ex sees him again somewhere...she contacts him via facebook and is essentially swooning over his physique. She then took her chance at hooking up with him again, which he promptly said 'fuck you'. There was much rejoicing.

                                                                                                        [–]how_do_i_bacon 104 points105 points ago

                                                                                                        Breakups are hard, but you don't have to shoot yourself.

                                                                                                        [–]Relvnt_to_Yr_Intrsts 59 points60 points ago

                                                                                                        yeah man, I think maybe you're taking it a little- YA GONNA SQUEEEEEALL BEFORE WE COOK YA??!

                                                                                                        [–]apiratewithadd 29 points30 points ago

                                                                                                        COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!!

                                                                                                        [–]JQuick 31 points32 points ago

                                                                                                        YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY!

                                                                                                        [–]TheEngine 41 points42 points ago

                                                                                                        STRIP THE FLESH! SALT THE WOUND!

                                                                                                        [–]bronymobile 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                        TIME TO PLAY! TIME TO PLAY!

                                                                                                        [–]koomis 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                        It's time to pound a meat puppet?

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                                                                                                              [–]zerosandwiches 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                                              No, you don't have to. But come on, everyone's doing it!

                                                                                                              [–]ircanadian 70 points71 points ago

                                                                                                              Should've responded with a random pic from gonewild

                                                                                                              [–]ckhapa 189 points190 points ago

                                                                                                              Check-fucking-mate. Does she have 8.7 gajillion ways to make herself interesting? I think not

                                                                                                              [–]HashBR 16 points17 points ago

                                                                                                              It's 87 bazillion !

                                                                                                              [–]Omegamanthethird 30 points31 points ago

                                                                                                              No, it's 87 Brazilians.

                                                                                                              [–]kaO_rosseforP[S] 80 points81 points ago

                                                                                                              Exactly! :D

                                                                                                              [–]Lurkerhereduh 56 points57 points ago

                                                                                                              So it's like those 3 minutes of sex have been replaced with more gaming.

                                                                                                              [–]zeamaize 65 points66 points ago

                                                                                                              3 minutes of sex?

                                                                                                              More like 20 seconds of awkward thrusting.

                                                                                                              [–]The_Derpening 41 points42 points ago

                                                                                                              Foreplay is part of sex.

                                                                                                              [–]zeamaize 52 points53 points ago

                                                                                                              Ah, so 10 seconds of pure incompetence and then finishing on her teddy bear?

                                                                                                              [–]The_Derpening 32 points33 points ago

                                                                                                              No, 2 minutes 40 seconds of bruising her clit and 20 seconds of awkward thrusting.

                                                                                                              [–]HabitOfCreature 26 points27 points ago

                                                                                                              What's a clit?

                                                                                                              [–]n00biquitous 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                              It's where a girl's pee comes out of. I know because my friend told me.

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                                                                                                                      [–]TheRuxter18 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                      3 minutes in heaven is better than 2 minutes in heaven...

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                                                                                                                        [–]HLef 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                                                        She has a vagina though.

                                                                                                                        [–]I_WANT_PRIVACY 37 points38 points ago

                                                                                                                        Well, Borderlands had TWO giant vagina monsters.

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                                                                                                                            [–]The_guy_behind_you 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                                            Shoot yourself twice at the same time?

                                                                                                                            [–]wtfmanidonteven 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                                                            I had an ex ask me that just after we broke up. I gave the only proper answer: "Whatever the fuck I want."

                                                                                                                            [–]GreenFox1505 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                                                            I also recently lost my co-op game partner...

                                                                                                                            [–]randy_marsh410 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                                            i like the morbid ambiguity of the response

                                                                                                                            [–]iDiedYesterday 130 points131 points ago

                                                                                                                            I think she got the last laugh.

                                                                                                                            [–]lolpancakeslol 298 points299 points ago

                                                                                                                            "What are you gonna do now?"

                                                                                                                            "I'M GONNA PLAY VIDEOGAMES, JOKES ON YOU, BITCH!"

                                                                                                                            Then she'll probably go home and fuck her new boyfriend.

                                                                                                                            [–]ratajewie 51 points52 points ago

                                                                                                                            I think you missed the double meaning of the picture. As in, he's going to play borderlands, she thinks he's going to kill himself.

                                                                                                                            [–]TechnoJedi 22 points23 points ago

                                                                                                                            It's got donkey-layers.

                                                                                                                            [–]Bored_At_Night 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                                                            I'd rather play video games than fuck her new boyfriend, so I'm pretty sure I won that. At the very least we tied.

                                                                                                                            [–]sowpods 66 points67 points ago

                                                                                                                            yep OP definitely "lost" the breakup.

                                                                                                                            [–]Darth_Meatloaf 88 points89 points ago

                                                                                                                            I disagree. OP is basically telling his ex that $60 is all it will take to forget about her. "This video game will be more enjoyable than you. When I get tired of the video game, I'll find a woman better than you. I'm in no hurry."

                                                                                                                            [–]Chapittychapschap 31 points32 points ago

                                                                                                                            One does not simply get "tired" of borderlands 2.

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                                                                                                                                [–]DatsNos 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                                                Oooo, let's make it saucy! Maybe it's not even a boyfriend, maybe it's just some random guy. A dock worker. Maybe just some rugged guy with rippling abs who wants to throw her around and make her his little rag doll. Maybe she just wants to feel used and abused for the night, like a total whore. Yeeeaaah, like that.

                                                                                                                                [–]Windyvale 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                                                                Plot twist, she's 15 and OP is 16.

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                                                                                                                                      [–]SorryHat 17 points18 points ago

                                                                                                                                      It would be funny is she had no idea this was a game, and she took the picture as an artistic way of saying you where going to commit suicide.

                                                                                                                                      [–]DaRabidMonkey 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Oh god. She's gunna think you're going to kill yourself.

                                                                                                                                      [–]jeffpeli 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                                                                      A true gamer. Ain't nothing gonna shake you

                                                                                                                                      [–]DrCoconutPHD 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Money cant buy happiness money can buy videogames and thats pretty much the same thing... right?

                                                                                                                                      [–]MJB25 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                                                                      This is so incredible, I pooped my pants. I didn't know this was even a thing.

                                                                                                                                      [–]Laahrik 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                                      I am just glad you allowed my the pleasure of witnessing your moment of sublime catharsis. And that you provided me an opportunity to wedge "sublime catharsis" into a conversation. And Idgaf if that is not a proper usage, it is fun as hell to use in a sentence.

                                                                                                                                      [–]Miles2gobeforeIsleep 29 points30 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Upvote from a guy who's girl left him the first week of school. Good on you, for looking for the silver lining!

                                                                                                                                      "Oh crap, now I'll have time for hobbies and gaming and clubs and getting my work done".

                                                                                                                                      OK, that last one was a bit farfetched...

                                                                                                                                      [–]MrJosho 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Don't worry, mine broke up with me, but begged me to stay in her life while she hangs out with her ex which she started getting feelings for again. Then she comes home, calls me, and tells me all about what fun they had. Most women do not see how evil and cruel they can be without even trying. I guess I'm the idiot for letting this all happen

                                                                                                                                      [–]hknaven 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Gives a whole new meaning to "going psycho" after a breakup.

                                                                                                                                      [–]naossoan 17 points18 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Fuck that bitch, it's video games time!

                                                                                                                                      [–]GKW 18 points19 points ago

                                                                                                                                      fuck that bitch.

                                                                                                                                      [–]zerosandwiches 23 points24 points ago

                                                                                                                                      it's video games time!

                                                                                                                                      [–]Level_32_Mage 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                                                      Fuck that bitch, it's video games time!

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                                                                                                                                        [–]ihavecrayons 31 points32 points ago

                                                                                                                                        I cannot believe people are upvoting a generic Borderlands 2 background based on a total BS title...

                                                                                                                                        [–]TechnoJedi 27 points28 points ago

                                                                                                                                        I can. The facts are on my side.

                                                                                                                                        [–]akfekbranford 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                                                        Because it is either an amusing story or an amusing fiction. Regardless of truth, it is entertaining. Why do we come to Reddit if not to be entertained?

                                                                                                                                        Or are you actually just jelly that he is getting easy imaginary internet points?

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                                                                                                                                          [–]aukir 16 points17 points ago

                                                                                                                                          You should have replied with: "None of your fucking business, woman. Why do you even care?"

                                                                                                                                          [–]dishrag 46 points47 points ago

                                                                                                                                          You should have replied with: "None of your fucking business, woman. Why do you even care?"

                                                                                                                                          [–]zerosandwiches 15 points16 points ago

                                                                                                                                          Good catch.

                                                                                                                                          [–]Level_32_Mage 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                                                          Cleaner.

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                                                                                                                                              [–]DrPlatypusPHD 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                                              You're going to take off your shirt and start building custom-made guns?

                                                                                                                                              [–]Daygus 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                                              I bet she thought you were going to kill yourself based on the picture

                                                                                                                                              [–]scrogu 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                                              Good timing man.

                                                                                                                                              [–]durntdehpirate 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                              Should of edited out the index finger.

                                                                                                                                              [–]Domukin 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                              Same thing happened to me a few years back, and that is how I went deep in the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout 3... I was actually kinda glad to suddenly have all that free time; and also glad to have an outlet for some post-breakup anger.

                                                                                                                                              [–]perhapsnotthrowaway 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                              Hey! My boyfriend just broke up with me too..and my birthday started 51 minutes ago. I know that feel, man.

                                                                                                                                              [–]AloeRP 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                                              This didn't happen.

                                                                                                                                              [–]DubstepGod 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                                                              I just started playing borderlands, now I have to complete it before borderlands 2 is released :S

                                                                                                                                              [–]radsome 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                                                              Impeccable timing.

                                                                                                                                              [–]Zaph0d42 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                                              GF cheated on me and dumped me over 6 months ago. Was completely in love with her, wanted to marry her and grow old together.

                                                                                                                                              Have tried to date since, keep getting cancelled on last minute.

                                                                                                                                              Whatever, games are awesome.

                                                                                                                                              [–]Gidian9 0 points1 point ago

                                                                                                                                              Wooooooo Hoooooooo!!!!!

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