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top 200 commentsshow all 220

[–]tylerwatt12 25 points26 points ago

[–]cal-badger 191 points192 points ago

Let me guess Samsung is gonna get sued again over their TV Remotes

[–]camelCase47 45 points46 points ago

With a "fit in your hand" design.

[–]futuremarine213 22 points23 points ago

My favorite part about this post is the Peter Griffin logic. Apple can magically skip from the IPhone 5 to the iPhone 10. The iPhone 10 is so important it replaces iPhones six through nine. War, Lois. World war Five.

[–]dizzi800 11 points12 points ago

They did it with Final Cut Pro. They skipped 8 and 9

[–]slycurgus 1 point2 points ago

Well, but wasn't that Final Cut Pro X (as opposed to '10')? I presume it would be to fit with the 'X' in OS X and so forth. Sure, it means 10, but it's a brand thing so I think it's a little different. If it were in Arabic numerals it would be a lot stranger.

[–]ramona-ramones 5 points6 points ago

Apple's Final Cut is with Samsung and Android.

EDIT: Watch out for Microsoft's Surface too.

[–]Alix1723 0 points1 point ago

Hey, you sure you got a patent for those rounded scissor ends?

[–]dizzi800 0 points1 point ago

No, the X stands for ten in FCPX. (and in OSX too) IIRC

[–]slycurgus 0 points1 point ago

Yes (I did mention that), but what I was getting at was that it's not written as '10', so they can get away with the jump a little better. Going from '7' to 'X' is not as strange as going from '7' to '10', if that makes sense.

[–]sixfourmike 1 point2 points ago

Winamp 4

[–]munchmacooch 0 points1 point ago

looks more like apple is going to sue the empire state building

[–]theothernewguy 27 points28 points ago

Black, of course.

[–]karpenterskids 37 points38 points ago

Battery life: 30 minutes.

[–]t0nyyy 12 points13 points ago

Works for less than a year

[–]Crimsonskyss 7 points8 points ago

Wrong! Takes lots of naps and hardly ever works for more then an hour

[–]t0nyyy 5 points6 points ago

But it still fucks your shit up when you try and do something with it, right?

[–]Whirlwind691 8 points9 points ago

Now those old lightsaber apps can make them selves useful now.

[–]Crimsonskyss 0 points1 point ago

even more now since it larger.. about 7 times as often.

[–]football2106 -1 points0 points ago

Shut up and take my money!!

[–]TheEggAndI 26 points27 points ago

with new leg splint functionality.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]hoodie92 2 points3 points ago

If we wanted your life story, we would have asked.

[–]drunk98 0 points1 point ago

I actually did want their life story, but was afraid to ask. Pity it's now deleted :-(

[–]DalekCaek 48 points49 points ago

Holy shit, make some folders.

[–]howitzer86 47 points48 points ago

Folders? Where we're going we don't need folders.

[–]SkyNTP 1 point2 points ago

Back in my day, we made it a point of removing bloatware from our computers.

[–]TerryArchi 2 points3 points ago

If you can fit all your apps in the same "page" then there's no need to.

[–]DalekCaek 3 points4 points ago

But there's three pages on that phone.

[–]TerryArchi 1 point2 points ago

Oh, you're right. Didn't notice.

[–]majorbs206 51 points52 points ago

I love how one of the apps is light saber.

[–]biggles86 14 points15 points ago

went back to look at this. would work well on that phone

[–]Possum_Pendulum 31 points32 points ago

That's a real app, you know.

[–]TrulyGolden 19 points20 points ago

this guy doesnt get it

[–]Niggerbyte 7 points8 points ago

It's a trApp!

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 5 points6 points ago

Jared is not pleased.

[–]Overlyattachedhubby 1 point2 points ago

There is an app in there twice. . .

[–]vennamn 16 points17 points ago

good news for everyone working on fake text message "screenshots"

[–]SomeGuyInOttawa 19 points20 points ago

Reminds me of the first glorious time I heard of the Onion: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

[–]classic__schmosby 14 points15 points ago

That was an old joke on Saturday Night Live when the 2 blade ones first came out. At the time they joked about 3 blades. Unfortunately NBC is pretty good at taking SNL clips off the internet, and I don't remember how old that even is.

Then MadTV did this.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 1 point2 points ago

One of the earlier episodes - I'm willing to say the first.

Yup, first episode, here it is

[–]asherrd 0 points1 point ago

I had no idea about that one. There was also a much later one will Will Ferrell where they added like 17 blades. The last few blades were called phantom blades I believe. It was maybe the same year as cookie dough sport.

[–]Gamelife1 5 points6 points ago

That reminds me of this which is an actual thing btw.

[–]asherrd 1 point2 points ago

One of the best commercials and companies that has existed.

[–]TheOtherSon 2 points3 points ago

Is that who I think it is? That sounds EXACTLY like Cave Johnson! Talking about eggheads in a lab, cursing people out, insulting competitors; but it was published in 2004, 7 years before Portal 2. Is this some sort of proto Cave that inspired Valve or aren't even the dates to be trusted on The Onion?

[–]jish92 8 points9 points ago

And yet it still fits perfectly into your hand in portrait mode!

[–]AdmiralApocalypse 3 points4 points ago

Well that's convenience! I'll take 7!

[–]cesar12321 4 points5 points ago

And still 3 pages of apps?

[–]mtheory007 3 points4 points ago

Yes, but you must scroll through them vertically. shudders The horror.

[–]newtonp01 26 points27 points ago

iPhone 10. Cause we're going to skip 6, 7, 8, and 9 because they're not classy.

[–]TheLastBadger 10 points11 points ago

iPhone 10. Cause we're going to skip 5s, 6, 6s, 7, 7s, 8, 8s, 9 and 9s because they're not classy.

FTFY

[–]chrisc098 17 points18 points ago

They did that with Final Cut, went from 7 to X. So there is precedent.

[–]74penises 2 points3 points ago

And megaman

[–]qlube 2 points3 points ago

Megaman X was more like a reboot. The regular megaman series still continued (with 6 released shortly after X, and 7 coming out pretty recently).

[–]bickman2k 1 point2 points ago

7 came out on the SNES. 8 on PlayStation. 9 and 10 were the recent ones.

[–]JonesBee 0 points1 point ago

So, iPhone X it is, called here first.

[–]BnGamesReviews 1 point2 points ago

Apple will skip 3 numbers, and 9 is divisible by 3....Half-life 3 Confirmed!

[–]Dusoka -3 points-2 points ago

One joke goes stale, and they're out on their asses.

[–]BabyExploder 1 point2 points ago

Longphone

[–]heyirv88 0 points1 point ago

...is long?

[–]popshopadop 7 points8 points ago

apple does one thing right by making the screen bigger without making it like an ipad and they are hounded by doing what is wanted. evolution has its critics...

[–]Mein_Tarnaccount 5 points6 points ago

Android fans making fun of the iPhone for getting a larger screen. Sounds about right.

[–]popshopadop 1 point2 points ago

i actually like the iphone os more then my android os. i like the size of the iphone because its big enough to see what im doing but not to big to the point that having it in my pocket is a hassle.

spending twice as much money for a brand name seems a little waste of money to me. this is my opinion and your opinion is strikingly accurate but i don't think getting downvoted because of our views is something that should happen.

[–]Gonzobot -1 points0 points ago

what kind of tiny girl pockets do you have?

[–]popshopadop 0 points1 point ago

regular pockets i guess... i wear basketball shorts along with khaki's. i have the Motorola triumph and if i am sitting down its a bit of an annoyance to pull it out of my pocket. get rid of the formatting crap on the phone. i use it to read texts call etc. pack them on but not to the point where its tough to read. little to no space between the apps and texts. have 1.0 spacing in texts and not 1.5 or at least give me an option.

[–]Some_Young_Atheist 1 point2 points ago

Especially with the galaxy note.

[–]scooter1265 8 points9 points ago

Comes preloaded with the Fifty Shades Trilogy and a vibrate mode...

[–]SteelGun 2 points3 points ago

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 0 points1 point ago

Tall men...they are the greatest.

[–]frecheguy 3 points4 points ago

At least the lightsaber app will be awesome!

[–]Mongolian_Hamster 3 points4 points ago

Well at least you can still use it with one hand.

[–]diy_tripper 0 points1 point ago

The tallest iPhone since iPhone.

[–]seekingAnswers91 2 points3 points ago

You can also use it as a surf board

[–]hpw1907 2 points3 points ago

Why is it Spanish..? FAKE!

[–]ahmadamaj 3 points4 points ago

Spanish is fake?

[–]Honor_Bound 2 points3 points ago

Si

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 1 point2 points ago

Muy Bueno

[–]CORBED 2 points3 points ago

All the apps are different....... I'm impressed

[–]UtopiaToaster 1 point2 points ago

Jared is the shit.

[–]Slicklizard 1 point2 points ago

Is that an iPhone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? O.o It's vibrating...

[–]lennyp4 -2 points-1 points ago

You photoshopped it to a version of iOS 1 would have been better with 5.1.1 or 6

[–]Caraes_Naur 1 point2 points ago

This is Apple... should be the iPhone X.

[–]ramona-ramones 1 point2 points ago

That is an iMote Control.

[–]That_Baker_Guy 0 points1 point ago

im really impressed you didnt copy any of the apps on the home screen.

[–]TrboLag 2 points3 points ago

I'm waiting for the iPhone 11

[–]Comms 1 point2 points ago

give it a hinge and make it a flip

[–]myztry 0 points1 point ago

Or 2 hinge sets for the iPhone Z

[–]gosuprobe -1 points0 points ago

HA HA HA HA HA

oh wait

[–]sharpiepen 0 points1 point ago

Fake.

[–]dawsonhunter 0 points1 point ago

I'll admit it. I chortled.

[–]Meebert 0 points1 point ago

Oh that is so cool I can fully display all those panoramic pics I took, or play a really awesome game of tetris.

[–]Drawtaru 0 points1 point ago

It's got 15 microphones!

[–]Tohasim 0 points1 point ago

Oh look the YouTube app is back :)

[–]whowaitwhat 0 points1 point ago

You need to patent this right now.

[–]Java_Beans 0 points1 point ago

If it's very thin that you can roll it on your wrist then I'm in.

[–]dogsalt 0 points1 point ago

tall iphone is taaaaallllll

[–]DeerOnTheRocks 0 points1 point ago

I'm so getting the iPhone 69

[–]billy_baroo 0 points1 point ago

This would work amazingly well with the lightsaber app

[–]kiwipr8r 0 points1 point ago

Fuckkk....this is the phone I told all my friends I'd get.

[–]adamsidelsky 0 points1 point ago

going with the trend shouldn't the iphone 10 have 10 rows of icons and then a dock?

[–]zimbabwe7878 0 points1 point ago

Are you a pornstar or is that the iPhone 10 in your pocket?

[–]dalgeek 1 point2 points ago

I'm still waiting for the iPhone Shuffle. Wake me up when that happens.

[–]iheartbakon 0 points1 point ago

I can't wait for the vertical videos on youtube.

[–]learntofart -1 points0 points ago

"Officially a masturbatory aid, not just metaphorically anymore."

[–]whomad1215 0 points1 point ago

It should only have 10rows. The 4/4s have 4rows, the 5 has 5rows.

[–]DerpUnit 0 points1 point ago

Does it vibrate?

[–]Azahk101 0 points1 point ago

Try and fit that in your pocket...I dare you...

[–]hpjj 0 points1 point ago

r/circlejerk

[–]Admiral_Toast -1 points0 points ago

Iphongard!

[–]thegoodlifeofmusic -1 points0 points ago

Ipad mini??

[–]Jobile 0 points1 point ago

The only app on there worth having... Jared

[–]D4TB4SS 0 points1 point ago

It acts as a decent weapon as well.

[–]AzraelAnkh -1 points0 points ago

People complain about Apple putting out hilarious versions of current products (lol iPad is a giant iPhone). But this is literally the same joke. Come on guys, Apple lets me down by coming up with boring shit, don't you do the same. Give me fresh jokes.

[–]OrangeMonkeyee 1 point2 points ago

I had a dream where we had a phone with a slideable stretchable screen. was fucking epic.

[–]MatthewMadness14513 -1 points0 points ago

Look the iPad 4!

[–]HighKingofKnees -1 points0 points ago

Introducing, the "iStick-up-your-ass" >_<

[–]SheldonPlankton 0 points1 point ago

Yet STILL fits comfortably in your hand.

[–]nanaimosweetie -1 points0 points ago

Is that the new iPhone 10 in your pocket or you just happy to see me?

[–]elmarko44 0 points1 point ago

Plus SIRI, now with even more sass

sent from my Samsung Galaxy S3

[–]ElGuano 0 points1 point ago

Not even tall enough for the dock anymore? Hope they fix that with the iPhone 10S.

[–]aaron_940 1 point2 points ago

[–]chatzimcfee 0 points1 point ago

i laughed.. i cried... i don't know

[–]sonarx 0 points1 point ago

Looks nice, I would like to shove it in my ass.

[–]theamplifiedorganic 0 points1 point ago

THAT motherfucker needs a goddamn SHEATH.

[–]maraedits 0 points1 point ago

Worst app selection EVER.

[–]MrMojoRisin5211 -1 points0 points ago

I guess the lightsaber app would be a bit better.

[–]king_hippo77 0 points1 point ago

See, gimme that, let me flex it around my wrist all leela style and shut up and take my money.

[–]thatonefatass 0 points1 point ago

I really don't understand why people are making a big deal about .5 of an inch. Big whoop you want to fight about it?

[–]ObnoxiousSeizures 0 points1 point ago

Why would Apple go from the iPhone 5 to the iPhone 10?

[–]blobfis 0 points1 point ago

"try the new subway edition"

[–]Breccles 0 points1 point ago

So, I guess Facebook isn't looking to promising...

[–]BunnehZnipr 0 points1 point ago

Someone put a cricket bat handle on this thing!

[–]ITheWestSideI 0 points1 point ago

I bet they'll sell $500 jeans that have a pocket sized to fit this behemoth.

[–]hayden_evans 0 points1 point ago

Only on reddit: Bitch about the iPhone screen being too small (touting larger phones like the S3) then immediately poke fun of the iPhone's screen size as soon as it is increased.

[–]Vulturas 0 points1 point ago

Sharpen that thing and use it as a blade. Call it the iSlash.

[–]3kaufmann 0 points1 point ago

we laugh now...

[–]K413n1 0 points1 point ago

Still, only 3g

[–]therestruth 0 points1 point ago

15x4 is 60 apps on home screen.

[–]UNITA_rebel_alliance 1 point2 points ago

Still gay.

[–]penguins_913q 0 points1 point ago

At least the piano apps could be full-size.

[–]moviedude26 0 points1 point ago

In all seriousness, I don't find it comfortable to reach the edges of the screen on the 4S, i'm a little worried about this shit.

[–]dylanbeattie 0 points1 point ago

I would buy that... Imagine the music apps that you could run in landscape mode. Synth keyboards, ribbon controllers, virtual fretboards. It'd be lovely.

[–]Cemo9999 0 points1 point ago

iBaguette

[–]BnGamesReviews 1 point2 points ago

Needs a hinge in the middle so they can make flip phones all the rage again

[–]n3rvousninja 0 points1 point ago

Why is the ad text in English but the names of the app are in Spanish?

[–]Captain_Aizen 0 points1 point ago

Finally a phone for Jessica Lee Parker.

[–]Zebracerous 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure the 5S is next. Then probably the 5S 2, and if we're lucky 6 is after that

[–]Kayel41 0 points1 point ago

iStick

[–]sirwatermelon 0 points1 point ago

iPhallus

[–]Hekki27 0 points1 point ago

No angry birds?

I am appalled

[–]Niceandinconspicuous 0 points1 point ago

On the plus side, it's the ideal phone for reddit scrolling.

[–]WaffleZz 1 point2 points ago

So uh, Is that an Iphone 10 in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

[–]moshbeard 0 points1 point ago

I was reading a live blog of the announcement and it really did make me laugh that they tried to act like the main selling point of the taller screen was an extra row of icons.

[–]roczzzco 0 points1 point ago

The apps represent North America

[–]InAndOutside 0 points1 point ago

where is the reddit app?

[–]Thelocalgaspump77 0 points1 point ago

The light saber app would be so legit with that

[–]ilikemangos 0 points1 point ago

It doubles as a lightsaber!

[–]chrisreeveslegs -1 points0 points ago

i like how all da haterz be making fun of the 3.5 inch screen. now theres a new one with a 4 inch screen and haterz be making diz picture.

[–]VonDozier 0 points1 point ago

I am now downloading Peg Jump

[–]dyche68 0 points1 point ago

NOT TALL ENOUGH!!!

[–]redditboss7 0 points1 point ago

Comes with an exclusive order of Apple Pants with EXTRA long pockets!

[–]manaburn777 0 points1 point ago

It's also a longboard!

[–]ceilingdweller 0 points1 point ago

DAE examine the screen and compare their apps to the ones in the picture?

[–]Cerblu 0 points1 point ago

and it still has shitty reception.

[–]TheBrightKnight 0 points1 point ago

"The new iPhone. Because more iPhone means iPhone" - Tim Cook

[–]Fatbeerguy 0 points1 point ago

Haven't seen it in person so I can't compare it. Is it really that much taller or are people just being their typical asshole selves?

[–]Merfen 0 points1 point ago

3,3s,4,4s,5,10..... seems like a legit next phone name.

[–]darkfate 0 points1 point ago

You mean iPhone X Long Leopard

[–]mrpopenfresh 0 points1 point ago

The next Iphone is going to be half an Ipad.

[–]H_o 0 points1 point ago

And yet 6/10 would buy

[–]theofficialposter 0 points1 point ago

Dammit. Now I want to know what the "Moo" app does. I have a pretty good idea though.

[–]Aperture2716057 0 points1 point ago

FALSE: Google app proves this picture is nothing more than pure speculation and a sad attempt at humour.

[–]nonalined 0 points1 point ago

Calendario

[–]jtothegill 0 points1 point ago

but, its the same size.......?

[–]guitartablelamp 0 points1 point ago

[–]CheifTim 0 points1 point ago

They should make it into a sword!!!

[–]sojorn 0 points1 point ago

haha it's funny. oh wait, it's not.

[–]sirpoonyou 0 points1 point ago

Why can't I

Hold all these Apps?

[–]FlamingWalrus 0 points1 point ago

Fake. There isn't a dock at the bottom

[–]Mudkipman -1 points0 points ago

Tallest iPhone YET

[–]LaLa0912 0 points1 point ago

As an apple user who is very excited about the iPhone 5...this made me laugh out loud. Upvote for you sir (or ma'am)

[–]el_bhm 0 points1 point ago

I can't talk with my dick!

[–]leeyenming 0 points1 point ago

OMG! I made this yesterday during the keynote and today its all over the interwebs!

[–]BobbyDigitalDogWnder 0 points1 point ago

upvote for good photoshop. finally.

[–]BobbyDigitalDogWnder 0 points1 point ago

upvote for good photoshop. finally.

[–]johnywhistle 0 points1 point ago

I can't believe they didn't put reddit as one of the apps

[–]chicka-cherry-cola 0 points1 point ago

Oh snap, avfarooq! On behalf of a non-Reddit using friend, may I remind you that the images that you used to make this were not your own. (The original images can be found here: http://flic.kr/p/5HVVMS .) Although his Flickr posts are set to be okay for anyone to use, creative commons settings advise attribution. Thank you.

[–]TwistedTicket 0 points1 point ago

I'd still buy it.

[–]itouchboobs -4 points-3 points ago

I have a brick that I spray painted the apple logo onto. For only 80 bucks you can buy it. I know you can't pass that deal up.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 1 point2 points ago

Does it have the brickbreaker game on it?

[–]itouchboobs -3 points-2 points ago

No, but I can sell you the app. It's a $25 hammer, or I can mail you directions on the correct way to throw it through a window.

[–]vravikumar 1 point2 points ago

is it skinnier? if not, i won't buy it

[–]eifersucht12a 0 points1 point ago

The iPhone 5 is thinner in depth, taller in screen height and the same width.

[–]jaketw 2 points3 points ago

"Is that an iPhone 10 in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 1 point2 points ago

That's the long and the short of it.

[–]ADHthaGreat -2 points-1 points ago

OH MY GOD. How MANY OF THE FUCKING SAME JOKE CAN YOU MAKE??

Is there any subreddit with better image based humor than r/funny? Cause this is just fucking ridiculous.

[–]thefigpucker 1 point2 points ago

That was fast,congrats.

[–]NintendoDuck -3 points-2 points ago

that's not the next one... that's the tenth one

[–]Peanutbutter717 0 points1 point ago

Jared is on this, that's the best app