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1451
1452

It's simple math really. [OC] (imgur.com)

submitted ago by RackballJoe

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[–]ProfessorD2 257 points258 points ago

Inconclusive: Jimmy may have given as much as all his fucks, and someone gave an equal amount of fucks to him.

[–]cyclicamp 140 points141 points ago

He'd say he gave zero net fucks, but, well, you know.

[–]Eurynom0s 13 points14 points ago

But is giving zero net fucks equivalent to not giving any fucks whatsoever?

[–]Siikk 11 points12 points ago

No.

[–]xNike 14 points15 points ago

fuck

[–]bushel 3 points4 points ago

Can I owe you one?

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 4 points5 points ago

You already owe me two!

[–]bushel 1 point2 points ago

Ya, that'll teach me to go all in. Remind me never to play poker with you again.

[–]Sinnedangel8027 0 points1 point ago

There is so much win in this post

[–]JKR93 9 points10 points ago

No I don't, explain.

[–]ra4king 55 points56 points ago

He gave away 12 fucks: -12 fucks.

He received 12 fucks: +12 fucks.

The net fucks is then: 0 fucks.

[–]sideflanker 19 points20 points ago

Now that we're done with math. Let's move on to history!

(all you 8 year olds will get a real kick outa this one)

[–]jesusinabottle 11 points12 points ago

Oh man, this is taking me back. My grandma was pissed at me for watching it.

[–]Ricekrisper 1 point2 points ago

What the fuck is a bushel.

[–]Rag3niv 7 points8 points ago

Approximately 35 liters, or 9 gallons.

[–]Ricekrisper 4 points5 points ago

So Jimmy put his fucks in a measurement system? Fuck Jimmy get your shit together.

[–]Rag3niv 0 points1 point ago

Well in the physical form it's what's pictured, a basket tied together with steel as I've seen them. But I'm pretty sure he can put something metaphorical in whatever he wants.

[–]HitlerDidNothingBad 1 point2 points ago

Dammit. I thought i was the only one who knew this.

[–]Rag3niv 1 point2 points ago

Haha, nah I worked in produce my teenage years. A lot of things ship in boxes of 1 1/9 bushels, for some reason.

[–]CaptainVarious 0 points1 point ago

maybe, if he was a tremendous nerd.

[–]5kToSelfDestruction 20 points21 points ago

It could be even worse than that.

Jimmy starts with 12 fucks, and someone just unloads 200 fucks on him right off the bat at the start of the day. Jimmy's like "WTF", and that knocks him down to 211 fucks, but he's gotta get rid of these fucking fucks before the fucking day is through. While 12 fucks can fit in a fuck basket, 200 fucks requires a fuck dumpster and Jimmy does not have a fucking fuck dumpster. So Jimmy spends all day trying to fucking give a fuck to any fucking one he sees. Finally he gets them all out there and can stick the last 12 into his fuck basket. Jimmy finally goes home from his fucking hectic day, and the wife says, "Still got a full basket? Guess you really don't give a fuck."

[–]InterstateExit 1 point2 points ago

Where's RedditNoir when we need him?

[–]jrr9042 1 point2 points ago

And this isn't even getting into the problem of complex fucks. I mean clearly we can have real-numbered fucks, but also, given the amount that I fap, there exist imaginary fucks too. So maybe Jimmy's fucks exist in the complex plane, with a large imaginary component.

We just don't have enough information.

[–]RackballJoe[S] -3 points-2 points ago

OP gives you a metaphorical A+ and sticker today. Wait, ProfessorD2? Shit all I have is a BA, I'll see myself out. Sorry to offend you sir, I'm sure you have many leather bound books in your mahogany scented apartment, and Merlin Olsen comes over more than on occasion.

[–]Skullmonkey_ 56 points57 points ago

A bushel, now I know the collective noun for fucks. This pleases me.

[–]1_point_21_gigawatts 17 points18 points ago

I thought a group of fucks was known as an orgy.

[–]Lunchable_ 1 point2 points ago

That's a gaggle of fucks

[–]drunk98 1 point2 points ago

It's a flock if they're fucking in 0g.

[–]bushel 6 points7 points ago

How do you think I feel?

[–]oatmealslut 0 points1 point ago

Full of fucking fruit, I imagine.

[–]_TheFifth_ 49 points50 points ago

The first season of the OC was ok, never watched the rest. Marrisa and Summer were hot.

[–]Landworth 14 points15 points ago

THERE WERE LESBIANS LATER ON!!!

[–]packattack 3 points4 points ago

da fuq? I dont remember that?!? Guess I should re-watch

[–]StewieBanana 12 points13 points ago

Olivia Wilde was one of the lesbians.

[–]hydrohawke 11 points12 points ago

*bisexual

She's always the bisexual.

[–]Ha_window 1 point2 points ago

What are we talking about. I like boobies that like other boobies.

[–]hydrohawke 1 point2 points ago

Same! But I like my boobies to be involved in that relationship

[–]supersmurf 75 points76 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/5KxBF.gif

[–]long_live_king_melon 14 points15 points ago

That's fantastic.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 7 points8 points ago

These are not the fucks you're looking for.

[–]immawsome 2 points3 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/TALVv.gif

[–]Qwertfx 18 points19 points ago

.....fuck......let me get my calculator

[–]mash3735 11 points12 points ago

we need peter.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 1 point2 points ago

Math Homework's due next month.

[–]mash3735 0 points1 point ago

holy shit a talkingcamelanus

[–]necromundus 0 points1 point ago

let me get my fuckulator

[–]rowian 53 points54 points ago

not one. single. fuck. was given that day.

[–]Adria_Penguin 11 points12 points ago

That made me think of this.

[–]Rokosnocone 3 points4 points ago

Upvote for burgerpaul

[–]Skullmonkey_ 6 points7 points ago

Beep bep

[–]sonar1 0 points1 point ago

i thought of this chris rock joke

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 3 points4 points ago

He still has 12 fucks in his bushel to give away, how will he use them

[–]Karl_Marx_ 0 points1 point ago

On himself.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 0 points1 point ago

Close. On his cousin.

[–]WhatTheFhtagn 0 points1 point ago

Damn Lannisters.

[–]UrMumsMyPassword 1 point2 points ago

Given the state of the fuck economy these days, he'd be smart to do what most of us have been doing and reserve his fucks for very special, fuck-deserving occasions. Sadly, a lot of people don't realise how valuable a fuck can be nowadays and are constantly demanding we give them over the second they have some kind of 'issue' they feel is worthy of our fucks. There needs to be some kind of public awareness campaign that emphasises the value of a fuck and that you aren't a self-centred arsehole when you don't give them away willy-nilly.

[–]PresidentSkroob16 0 points1 point ago

He should give all of his fucks to the people with the most fucks so that the fucks can trickle back down to him

[–]iwantagoodusername 2 points3 points ago

Actually, he was given a fuck. His mother is a baker.

[–]kcmasterpiece347 1 point2 points ago

Think about what you just said. He was given a fuck from his mother.

[–]iwantagoodusername 2 points3 points ago

Yes

[–]PresidentSkroob16 13 points14 points ago

Clearly he gave as many fucks as he received.

[–]Veo_x 2 points3 points ago

I don't think a little boy should be receiving any fucks, IMO.

[–]We_Have_To_Go_Back 10 points11 points ago

[OC]

Don't call it that.

[–]x3tripleace3x 0 points1 point ago

Why?

[–]raddrew2000 -1 points0 points ago

Missed the Joke^

[–]bloodfist 1 point2 points ago

Because its not.

[–]x3tripleace3x -1 points0 points ago

How do you know that?

[–]vese 2 points3 points ago

Because this has been posted elsewhere? DO a google image search or a tineye search.

[–]x3tripleace3x 0 points1 point ago

Interesting, but it seems that he said it was supposed to be a reference to a popular tv series. Interesting, nonetheless. I don't really care too much for reposts regardless, but I didn't think that people would go so far as to repost with an OC tag attached to it. Was just wondering.

[–]TJweh 13 points14 points ago

"Allan, you're up, 10 seconds." "...Hm, What is No fucks." "Correct! You've just added $3,000 to your money"

Idk I've never really watched jeopardy.

[–]empireofnyy 2 points3 points ago

It's okay, good try.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 1 point2 points ago

We also would have accepted "Richard the III".

[–]necromundus 2 points3 points ago

That's "Zer Of Ucks", Mr. Connery

[–]BurntTheToast 8 points9 points ago

Damn what the fuck, is this calculus? I can't seem to find my pocket Asian.

[–]DeathToPennies 1 point2 points ago

From now on, I'm calling calculators "pocket Asians".

[–]Iamabigdinosaur 4 points5 points ago

Hmm. 2+3 carry over the Y - £3.50 + 1 Bengal tiger equals zero fucks given yo.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

There is nothing "OC" about the "giving fucks" meme, RackballJoe.

If I take this image and resubmit it with a black background, can I call it OC too?

[–]long_live_king_melon 3 points4 points ago

If it's OC why does it have "x-post from r/funny" as the imgur title?

[–]coffedrank 4 points5 points ago

old

overused

not funny anymore

[–]ManOvIron 9 points10 points ago

[OC]

MY SIDES

Imgur title is "x-post from r/funny", under the r/howtonotgiveafuck section. Was the [OC] label meant to be an extra joke, because this is literally the shittiest attempt at a repost I've seen in a while

[–]cyclicamp 4 points5 points ago

It means someone posted it there, from here, 2 hours after the fact.

[–]Asophis 4 points5 points ago

Can we please stop putting [OC] in the title? It makes us all seem that much more pretentious.

[–]IAM8bitt 2 points3 points ago

The truth

[–]whatbrighteyes 1 point2 points ago

That's actually a vocabulary lesson.

[–]HyunnyBunny 2 points3 points ago

He just got all the fucks returned,

'Because he gave a fuck when it wasn't his turn to give a fuck'

[–]BeefyStevey 2 points3 points ago

But Little Jimmy isn't real.

[–]FMITAP 0 points1 point ago

He's gotta be real. I just got okie doked by him.

[–]diamondcutters 0 points1 point ago

ME AN LIL JIMMY GON GET SOME ICE CREAM, KOFEEE

[–]FMITAP 0 points1 point ago

I got Afrophobia, y'all! Lil' Jimmy knows I'm afraid of heights. And there better not be no spiders in this thread or the grits gonna hit the pan!

[–]xPlayerWon 0 points1 point ago

if you have zero fucks left ... you gave away all your fucks

[–]Superduperscooper 0 points1 point ago

Fuck! I'm fucking out of Fucks!

[–]ben12390 1 point2 points ago

in this case, if a bushel is 12. and i harvest 220 bushels average per acre, and I have a 2400 acre farm, My farm still doesn't give any fucks.

[–]lacytgJamie 1 point2 points ago

data insufficient for answer, any number of fucks may have been given.

[–]Drlongbong 1 point2 points ago

Zero. Zero Fucks

[–]jbdigriz 0 points1 point ago

Little Jimmy's suspenders look like strange, droopy, side-hanging boobs.

[–]Zaiton 0 points1 point ago

Zero fucks.

[–]TheRaymac 0 points1 point ago

14

[–]zombieabe 1 point2 points ago

One fuck for every fuck he received.

[–]zero00000 1 point2 points ago

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9wtnhtlkE1qf2jlyo1_500.jpg

[–]_kvl_ 0 points1 point ago

Well is that dozen a baker dozen, cause he might have picked up a fuck during the day. It's often the case that someone giving no fucks away will occasionally have fucks give to them in rare cases.

[–]kasim42784 0 points1 point ago

a net zero bushel of fucks.

[–]genzahg 1 point2 points ago

"I don't give a fuck" is as far as I care to see that phrase used.

"Look at all the fucks I give," "Not a single fuck was given," "Zero fucks were given that day" sound stupid as shit.

[–]dillonistired 0 points1 point ago

if you start off with any fucks, you're doing it wrong

[–]Iheartdragonsmore 0 points1 point ago

What kind of dozen are we talking here? A baker's dozen?

[–]tomlinsfuckingtophat 0 points1 point ago

the delivery was pretty oc but the concept is as old as sand

[–]gclma 0 points1 point ago

Zero fucks were given that day.

[–]Loydiso 0 points1 point ago

A SINGLE FUCK WAS NOT GIVEN!!!! THAT DAY

[–]Machinationss 0 points1 point ago

But, it says x-post from r/funny.. This-this is r/funny..

[–]kareemabduljabbq 0 points1 point ago

honey badgers.

[–]lechatron -1 points0 points ago

None. He gave none fucks.

[–]oshkoshjosh 0 points1 point ago

I'm using this to sabotage a first grade classroom.

[–]xElahstanx 0 points1 point ago

The answer is Pepsi?.

[–]samspeir1 1 point2 points ago

Zero! Zero fucks! Ah ah ah.

[–]Johnny_Appleweed 0 points1 point ago

NO FUCKS!

[–]CoyoteStark 1 point2 points ago

About as many as I gave when reading this.

[–]turkeyshoot04 1 point2 points ago

I Giggled tehehe

[–]Jorgemeister 0 points1 point ago

I dont give a fuck about Jimmy's fucks

[–]Dm4n96 -1 points0 points ago

No fucks were given is this problem

[–]markusbolarkus 1 point2 points ago

a bushel is a measurement of volume... this kid has some large fucks...

[–]Billy_Reuben 0 points1 point ago

Printing this tomorrow.

[–]Anal_lick -1 points0 points ago

http://imgur.com/9nzot

[–]Justin_M85 0 points1 point ago

My normal day

[–]ClubbedParsley 1 point2 points ago

COMIC SAAAAAANS.

[–]thisfugginguy 0 points1 point ago

comic sans

[–]NightDwellerHermit -1 points0 points ago

Jimmy's Jimmies remain unrustled status : no fucks given

[–]joephus420 0 points1 point ago

Way too many...

[–]spencemb11 -1 points0 points ago

Over 9,000!!!

[–]turdburgler42 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry I'm not that good at math

[–]giverofnofucks 0 points1 point ago

I don't give a shit, little Jimmy sounds like an asshole anyway.

[–]TFiPW 0 points1 point ago

At Safeway, a dozen is 13.

[–]reallygood 0 points1 point ago

Therefore people could also say "I'm holding into ALL of my fucks."

[–]SuperImposer 0 points1 point ago

I was too dumb to remember what a dozen was the first time I read it so I thought that people were giving all their fucks toJimmy

[–]adharma 0 points1 point ago

Please x/post this to /r/SquaredCircle - Little Jimmy!

[–]monkey_cunt 0 points1 point ago

Saved. Thank you, sir.

[–]WonkaKnowsBest 0 points1 point ago

OC....I'm not sure how I feel about this...

[–]rootsoak 0 points1 point ago

Shit?.... wait no, FuKzz!!!

[–]Tueek 0 points1 point ago

i loled

[–]Ragesim 0 points1 point ago

He gave x fucks, where x=12-x+x

[–]dontkicksandinmyface 0 points1 point ago

I have two shits. Neither of them are for you.

[–]karltee 0 points1 point ago

it's all arithmetic

[–]Prince_of_Prawns 0 points1 point ago

Jeez, all the derivatives of "not giving a fuck (zero fucks given, not a fuck was given that day, this is where I'd put a fuck if i had one) are stupid as hell.

[–]damirsan 0 points1 point ago

He dozen't give a single fuck.

[–]hellblazer48 0 points1 point ago

Lil Jimmy don't let stupid shit affect you. So cool, calm and collected.

[–]PyroThePenguin 0 points1 point ago

I want to post this on all of the Facebook "math puzzle" posts where knowing order of operations is the puzzle.

[–]sirdevinstine 0 points1 point ago

Read in The Count's (From Sesame Street) Voice- Zero, Zero fucks given HA HA HA!

[–]Judge_Hate 0 points1 point ago

Not a dam one.

[–]smashmakhan 0 points1 point ago

dumb meme.

[–]Fonterror 0 points1 point ago

Simple, Jimmy gave 0 fucks.

[–]SassyMcPants 0 points1 point ago

I had no idea the average Fuck was ≈5.333 pints

[–]ratleaf 0 points1 point ago

Wow, this is one of the most broing posts I've ever seen.

[–]jzzanthapuss 0 points1 point ago

the problem should read that Jimmy gave all his fucks when he was in his early twenties and now his basket is empty, ergo, he has NO fucks left to give

[–]Nousernamerage 0 points1 point ago

How is this oc when it says xpost from r/funny?

[–]sneekeemonkee 0 points1 point ago

A real live Jimmy here, I can confirm that the math is indeed, correct.

[–]GringuitaInKeffiyeh 0 points1 point ago

As a retail worker, this describes my life.

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