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all 147 comments

[–]Carwash1152 182 points183 points ago

The cat is trying to avenge his friend.

[–]dubblechrisp 132 points133 points ago

OH GOD.

[–]Ranchama 2 points3 points ago

this is how i threaten my boyfriend "I WILL TURTLE BITE YOUR NUTSACK"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]robocop12 8 points9 points ago

Do me do me!

[–]Dorky_Panda 1 point2 points ago

I call second!

[–]rastapasta808 2 points3 points ago

Damn missed it, what was his account?

[–]Describes_You_II 5 points6 points ago

I guess they deleted my comment, PN from Hawaii (maybe CO) with dreadlocks.

[–]rastapasta808 3 points4 points ago

You forgot the joint. :)

But awesome novelty account!

[–]robocop12 2 points3 points ago

I'll describe you or something like that. Essentially got downvoted for an amazing novelty account. I wanted to see what he would find on me

[–]MrMagpie93 4 points5 points ago

This is a VERY creepy account

[–]dubblechrisp 0 points1 point ago

Well, that's what I get for using my twitter name as my reddit handle.

[–]aborted_cause 42 points43 points ago

Tortoises love dogs.

[–]smsy 33 points34 points ago

Holy shit that is one quick tortoise

[–]anchorsaway7 15 points16 points ago

Turbo Tortoise

[–]InterstellarPancake 2 points3 points ago

Too Fast
Too Tortoise

[–]ichabodguitar 8 points9 points ago

Either that gif is sped up, or tortoises are way quicker than previously thought.

[–]Brewster-Rooster 14 points15 points ago

from the movement of the dog, it looks like it is slightly sped up, but its still a quick tortoise

[–]VTJP 105 points106 points ago

[–]hippiewench 24 points25 points ago

OMG he pulled out a chunk of hair, what a tortle-twat.

[–]Carwash1152 89 points90 points ago

Wow, tortoises are assholes.

[–]Whoopah 98 points99 points ago

They are also fucking hilarious.

[–]FreeDirt 17 points18 points ago

The slow-motion bite definitely had me laughing.

I can almost hear him thinking:

"IS IT........FOOOOOODDDDD?"

[–]duxup 13 points14 points ago

assholes.

Badass sir, badass.

[–]Seicair 5 points6 points ago

badass assholes?

[–]LaureoTheOreo 16 points17 points ago

Badassholes

[–]skakruk -1 points0 points ago

I fucking hate turtles with passion. They look like evil monsters, they make horrible noises when they copulate, and they never show any sign of kindness. Also, their dicks are fucking weird. I hate them.

First gif that made me hate turtles (it's a bit shocking)

[–]Kensin 8 points9 points ago

It isn't always pretty, but a turtles got to eat too. Only the mutant ones can just order a pizza.

[–]skakruk 0 points1 point ago

True, but it's not only that, watch the gifs of a turtle biting the dog's and the cat's balls. Also, youtube tortoise sex.

[–]Kensin 1 point2 points ago

Also, youtube tortoise sex.

I'll do it, but I can only imagine what Google will think of me for it.

[–]Rather_Dashing 1 point2 points ago

Maybe you should hate humans with a passion instead, it was the damn turtles owner who decided to feed the turtle a live mouse. The turtle was just trying to eat.

[–]bamforeo 52 points53 points ago

SLOWEST. NOM. EVER.

[–]SomeDudeFromJersey 7 points8 points ago

A cat that allowed it self to be snuck upon? He must be defective, or seriously domesticated.

[–]VTJP 28 points29 points ago

Ever heard the phrase Ninja Turtles?

[–]MrWhite2020 0 points1 point ago

Legend, great work tortoise!!

[–]TehFence -4 points-3 points ago

Relevant.

[–]Lazysaurus 3 points4 points ago

The.

[–]TehFence 0 points1 point ago

Oh, thanks, didn't notice that!

[–]PictureTraveller 13 points14 points ago

noooo

[–]mutsuto 8 points9 points ago

critical hit

[–]down_vote_magnet 11 points12 points ago

Holy shit, man down!

Those fucking things do not let go.

[–]PatrickPlan8 4 points5 points ago

More like Kitten Thriller!

[–]iloveusomuchithurts 2 points3 points ago

Oh man, that's got to hurt. Turtles bite are freaking hard.

[–]compto35 2 points3 points ago

T_T

[–]SomeDudeFromJersey 0 points1 point ago

For once I'm glad this was a slow loading gif. Did not watch.

[–]Sugreev2001 0 points1 point ago

I'm Gonna Wreck-it !

[–]afipunk84 1 point2 points ago

As soon as i realized what was going to happen i had to shut down the gif. NOPENOPENOPE

[–]anxdiety 0 points1 point ago

Yet another reason to neuter your dog.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Mandatory_Gingerlord 27 points28 points ago

Yeah his vagina got bitten

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]White_Luigi 12 points13 points ago

I'm pretty sure it's a regular sized ballsack.

[–]Lavatis 11 points12 points ago

It's clearly a ballsack. Are you like 8 or something?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Lavatis 4 points5 points ago

It's a conclusion that I've come to because that isn't even where a dog's vagina would be. Not only does it not look like one, it's in the wrong place.

[–]RaisingTheKnife 7 points8 points ago

You... you stare at their ballsacks?

[–]blackwidowk758 3 points4 points ago

Hmm, yes these ballsacks a quite exquisite.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Lazysaurus 12 points13 points ago

You... you talk to children about dog ballsacks?

[–]Ifriendzonecats 2 points3 points ago

right after finishing a big breakfast of shit.

[–]bradleyg5 0 points1 point ago

the purpose of a ball sack is to keep the testicles at a consistent temperature that is slightly lower than internal temperature. The sack will expand and contract depending on the temperature.

[–]iamafeesh 21 points22 points ago

Tortoise - "like I give a fuck "

[–]SomeDudeFromJersey 13 points14 points ago

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Cat."

"Fuck You"

[–]ugly_fucking_ape 0 points1 point ago

This video is private.

[–]anxdiety 1 point2 points ago

Hopefully fixed now.

[–]down_vote_magnet 22 points23 points ago

Nothing cuter than when kittens do the pouncing thing but are actually too afraid to actually make contact.

[–]makubex 33 points34 points ago

GOJIRA ATTACK!

[–]runsoutofspace 7 points8 points ago

Kittyzilla v Gamera

[–]dsoltesz 0 points1 point ago

w00t for GAMERA!

[–]Dasterdly -2 points-1 points ago

[–]crashspeeder 13 points14 points ago

Don't be silly. He's just doing the Michael Jackson Thriller dance

[–]randalflagg 14 points15 points ago

[–]TheHugeBastard 26 points27 points ago

I showed this to my 4-year-old cousin and his reply was "do the cat try to catch the turtle? But the turtle is much faster?" couldn't help but laugh and agree.

[–]byronh1016 15 points16 points ago

I don't usually say this, but that cat is adorable. What kind is it?

[–]suckerswag 17 points18 points ago

Baby Bobcat. It's all about the size and the ears.

[–]Sanitary_Lumpkin 0 points1 point ago

[–]justicelife 4 points5 points ago

...Is that a baby cheetah?

[–]IkoIkoComic 3 points4 points ago

Thriller!

[–]Executioner1337 9 points10 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Look out! It's Cat-zilla!!!! 0coms 1pt 1hr GifSound
Kitten vs Tortoise (x-post from r/gifs) 1com 24pts 1hr aww
Let's GOOOOO!!!!! 0coms 1pt 2hrs GifSound
Rawwwr 0coms 5pts 4hrs aww
That cat is a dick 5coms 47pts 5hrs funny
Kitty vs. Turtle 0coms 19pts 7dys aww
Kitty training a turtle to be ninja (gif) 10coms 202pts 1dy aww

source: karmadecay

[–]Simon_Williams 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for not calling it a turtle.

[–]Bokofittleworth -1 points0 points ago

Upvote for confirming I'm not the only one with a hatred of this.

[–]duxup 0 points1 point ago

Kitten is just happy to be bigger than something.

[–]rivea 2 points3 points ago

Kirk VS Spock is what I thought of

[–]notreallyswiss 0 points1 point ago

What i think is that you are a genius.

[–]TheStruggleWithin 2 points3 points ago

finally something I am bigger then RAAAWWWRR

[–]buildfear 2 points3 points ago

That tortoise is the definition of DGAF.

[–]JFoggers 1 point2 points ago

It's like it's waiting for the tortoise to reveal its critical-hit zone before using the melee attack.

I've been playing too much Borderlands...

[–]shoelie 1 point2 points ago

Cause this is thriller,

[–]BiRDM4N 1 point2 points ago

"Oh and he picks up the steel chair and OHHHHHHH! Wait, no not again, OHHHH!"

[–]skibblez_n_zits 1 point2 points ago

[–]chasehochs 0 points1 point ago

"Pro" wrestler

[–]doctorku 0 points1 point ago

Rawr! Pounce! Rawr! Pounce!

[–]Cuppy_Cakes 1 point2 points ago

CRITICAL HIT.

[–]SHIT_SHIT_SHIT_BALLS 0 points1 point ago

the way the turtle saunters off reminds me of this: http://xkcd.com/889/

[–]DaveAlmighty 0 points1 point ago

That run at the beginning is the exact same thing I do before hugging my girlfriend

[–]kareemabduljabbq -1 points0 points ago

werewolf bar mitvah spooky scary.

[–]aznscourge 0 points1 point ago

Silly cat, that's not how you do the thriller

[–]Vice75 0 points1 point ago

Monster mash!

[–]GroovenileDelinquent -1 points0 points ago

Kitten in body. Cheetah in heart.

[–]cerealkiller155 0 points1 point ago

Kitten wins!

Fatality...

[–]btguinn 0 points1 point ago

We had a younger cat with diminished eyesight, and a box turtle. The first day we let Plato the turtle go walking about our apartment, the cat didn't know what he was. I think she assumed it was a rock or something. She slowly, ever so slowly, crept up on him, and then when he noticed her and decided to check her out, she absconded to the bedroom and hid for an hour.

...a year later, and she was very protective of him and his terrarium. At one point she even hopped into his enclosure to move him away from the water dish he kept pooping in. Plato continued to give no fucks.

[–]Kilgannon_TheCrowing 0 points1 point ago

ALPHA AS FUCK

[–]Quaytsar 0 points1 point ago

And here I thought it was the reptile that was supposed to stomp around terrorizing smaller beings.

[–]CLITORAL_HARD-ON 0 points1 point ago

that is easily my favorite kitten move

[–]jbuck10 0 points1 point ago

Doesnt seem like a fair fight

[–]gothicmaster 0 points1 point ago

HOLLY SHIT this is the cutest gif i have ever seen !!!

[–]Axolotile 0 points1 point ago

That kitten is doing Thriller, but the turtle remains unimpressed.

[–]Pingu1651 0 points1 point ago

Came here expecting a Rocko's Modern Life related comment. Was disappointed.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]kgkilla85 0 points1 point ago

Thriller dance?

[–]spookypen 0 points1 point ago

"IIIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMMMM SCARY. IIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMM SCARY."

[–]creative1985 0 points1 point ago

Source please?

[–]ByahhByahh 0 points1 point ago

With all those fake hits I thought I was watching professional wrestling.

[–]kiruclanz 0 points1 point ago

The tortoise is just like "Fuck off, dick."

[–]DavidJFarrar 0 points1 point ago

I like turtles...

[–]Corund 0 points1 point ago

Heartseeker spam >:(

[–]PotatoBeans 0 points1 point ago

Narrated in Arnold's voice it's even funnier.

[–]amhar16 1 point2 points ago

I'm an Arab.........I love Allah and Islam

[–]SparDanterGilio 0 points1 point ago

NOOOO! I dont care what youre gonna say but Golem will Always beat the shit out of Persian

[–]coslet 0 points1 point ago

The cat just finished watching the Thriller music video

[–]DawginYourMomma -1 points0 points ago

Why are kittens awesome and grown cats dicks?

[–]mythiks 0 points1 point ago

Well that's cute as hell.

[–]robtheviking 0 points1 point ago

IT'S AN OCELOT - LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SPOTS!

[–]drugfree 0 points1 point ago

rock beats scissors, bitch

[–]bvarner28 0 points1 point ago

Honey badger tortoise don't care

[–]chempac 0 points1 point ago

OriginalContent vs Reposters

REPOSTERS WIN IN A LANDSLIDE!

[–]connordlange 1 point2 points ago

Sure thats not just a turtle?

[–]kswa1987 0 points1 point ago

Thought I was the only person to realize the it wasn't a tortoise. It appears to be a red eared slider

[–]kswa1987 1 point2 points ago

Tough call. Someone freeze the gif, enhance, and report back.

[–]sf7 0 points1 point ago

Well this is certainly going to make the front page.

[–]Slitoreye -1 points0 points ago

ONGUARD!

[–]crashspeeder 6 points7 points ago

En garde? Like fencing?

[–]Slitoreye 1 point2 points ago

Well I butchered that one.

[–]BlackGhostPanda 0 points1 point ago

Kitten is like imma get you motherfucka.

[–]cybagangsta 1 point2 points ago

[–]Goidelify -3 points-2 points ago

That cat looks like a cat.