this post was submitted on
784 points (52% like it)
7,150 up votes 6,366 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,425,188 readers

10,533 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

783
784

The women in my ex's family were all.... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by LeCheval

all 108 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]Please_take_a_seat 56 points57 points ago

Perhaps they know these two.

[–]blueyb 36 points37 points ago

I bet the women in OP's pic would have a better attitude if they got

[–]bigoldirtydick 4 points5 points ago

Wow, I spend way too much time on reddit.

[–]ClockStalker 9 points10 points ago

/u/bigoldirtydick: Analyzing 197 comments and submissions over the last 74 days

Hypothesized location: Western Europe

Lente hora, celeriter anni

[–]Cleannn 5 points6 points ago

Well that's creepy.

[–]RufusMcCoot 2 points3 points ago

Pre-Googled it for you all.

Lente hora, celeriter anni. (An hour passes slowly, but the years go by quickly.)

[–]willscy 2 points3 points ago

Never seen this one before.

[–]APWTSIS 0 points1 point ago

They have to have planned that out.

[–]Logical_Phallusy 2 points3 points ago

My friend knew some of the team when he was at WVU, he says they sat next to each other entirely on purpose.

In on a slightly related note, the basic trainees "Hard" and "Johnson" roomed together as did "Small" and "Wang" (complete with nametags on their doors). I thought at first that the cadre was fucking with them but it was actually the correct alphabetical order for that flight.

[–]KingOfBattle 9 points10 points ago

RELEVANT: My name last name is also KUNTZ, and i also am in the US army!

[–]mmss 1 point2 points ago

Any stories about Uncle Rusty?

[–]Alaskatar 0 points1 point ago

Is she a medic? I went to AIT with two girls that look very similar, with those two names.

[–]learntofart 9 points10 points ago

Boy, I can only imagine how fun it must be for women with "Kuntz" as a last name, regardless of connotation.

[–]squireofrnew 12 points13 points ago

Relevant

[–]IronLung420 3 points4 points ago

Why would you name your child that?

[–]punchybuggyred 1 point2 points ago

All parents want their children to get a head start in life.

[–]no_no_NO_okay 0 points1 point ago

also, holy shit, she's 6'4.

[–]imbignate 2 points3 points ago

Position: OH

ಠ_ಠ

[–]samman445 3 points4 points ago

I can't help but feel really bad for all those poor Kuntz out there.

[–]effurface 0 points1 point ago

I went to school with a girl of that name but she was so nice and smiley no one made fun of her. Bummer could've been hilarious if she was a bitch.

[–]pakattak 1 point2 points ago

Isn't it pronounced 'coonse'?

[–]MakingCents 0 points1 point ago

Yes, yes it is.

[–]nimbeam 25 points26 points ago

That was taken in iraq. Kuntz was in my unit over there.

[–]catnik 24 points25 points ago

Your unit wasn't in Kuntz?

[–]Trollatio_Caine 0 points1 point ago

There is something fishy about that.

[–]soapman5 1 point2 points ago

I am a sergeant, and I demand pics. That is a lawful order.

[–]BaDumPshhh 0 points1 point ago

Like subreddits, there is a fetish for EVERYTHING.

[–]Jackdaws7 7 points8 points ago

Sex is a fetish? Did I miss something?

[–]drawingdead0 4 points5 points ago

As I read it, he/she meant the entire unit in the same vagina. That's some Ripley shit right there.

[–]Jackdaws7 0 points1 point ago

ah, well, I've often read one's unit being referred to their dangly danglia so..yup

[–]drawingdead0 0 points1 point ago

I prefer the visual of several dozen penises penetrating someone named 'Kuntz'. Agree to disagree.

[–]Grindstone50k 1 point2 points ago

Desert Queens?

[–]JediApprentice 1 point2 points ago

That's kind of the way army women work.

[–]JAfball77 0 points1 point ago

If you consider sexual acts that are normally not committed by the majority to be fetishes then, on Reddit yes.

[–]Trollatio_Caine 0 points1 point ago

It was. That's how he earned his wings

[–]MajorStainz 0 points1 point ago

Do you know moody? that's not kasey moody is it?

[–]no-strings-attached 7 points8 points ago

In the military?

[–]Corrupted_Planet 1 point2 points ago

army to be specific

[–]beer30 -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, OP must be so proud of his family's service.

[–]scairborn 5 points6 points ago

We had 2 in my ROTC detachment in college... Cadet Finger and Cadet McKootch. They were always seated next to each other... Finger McKootch, it was all too perfect.

[–]DaveSenior72 3 points4 points ago

Poor guy on my ship had the last name Tester...and, if you know anything about Navy ranks, you see the joke coming...before he made E-4, it was not uncommon to hear "Seaman Tester, quarterdeck" over the 1MC

[–]chefboyarbeiber 1 point2 points ago

I only feel sorry for the Seamen Guzzler that i knew back in A school.

[–]kinsmed 5 points6 points ago

My thanks to the men and women of the armed services.

[–]Jackdaws7 1 point2 points ago

Here you go

[–]rustysniper 0 points1 point ago

Unless you were being sarcastic, I don't see why you got downvoted.

[–]learntofart 2 points3 points ago

A portion of Reddit dislike armed forces and all things related to bloodshed.

[–]xblackdog 0 points1 point ago

That can sometimes include women.

see what I did there? It's funny because periods

I'll see myself out.

[–]JediApprentice 0 points1 point ago

Probably because service members can be uncomfortable with hearing "THANK YOU" every day. It's honestly a bit like hearing mahalo in hawaii.

[–]kinsmed 1 point2 points ago

Some dicks will do anything to keep women down.

And I ain't here for the votes.

[–]scruffy01 2 points3 points ago

Until I hear the stories on shitty in-laws, I never have sympathy.

As I am fairly sure I have the worst in-laws on the planet.

[–]SullyKid 14 points15 points ago

Until I hear a story about your shitty in-laws, I have no sympathy.

[–]scruffy01 19 points20 points ago

Lesbian mother in laws. One has psychosis, the other is admittedly gay for attention.

They show up to every life event of mine (wedding, son being born, son's birthdays, etc etc) and cause a scene, or if they are being good they typically sit in each other's lap and make out (that one happened as my son was being born).

My sister in law, long story involved, swindled us out of about $20,000.

Mother-in-law randomly called the cops and said that I was beating my wife (she lives 20 miles away from me, wasn't even around). Cops showed up to a very confused me and my wife.

The psychotic mother in law bashed out the back window of my car because "I am a demon", hadn't talked to her for months before that point. I couldn't prove shit, couldn't press charges.

And honestly, you would think there is some really long negative history between us, but I have never directly confronted them. I have never insulted them. Hell I've never even made it known that I don't like them.

Honestly it goes on and on, don't really care to type it all out.

[–]OmniaMors 23 points24 points ago

have a cookie and a hug, and remember, if you need any consolation, youre fucking their daughter.

[–]JediApprentice 0 points1 point ago

Haha I didn't see the silver lining in the story until you mentioned this.

[–]worker1978 4 points5 points ago

Just wait till the police doesn't take them seriously any more. Then proceed to do some if the shit they accused you of doing to them. Like dress up like a demon and share the shit out of their crack smoking asses.

[–]ygguana 1 point2 points ago

I am not sure if sharing shit out of asses is a good idea

[–]barbecue_scotch 6 points7 points ago

20 miles just ain't far enough.

[–]TheUnderstanding 0 points1 point ago

How can you be gay for attention?

[–]scruffy01 2 points3 points ago

Ever seen how much attention gay people get?

Ever seen what crazy kind of shit people will do for attention?

[–]TheUnderstanding 0 points1 point ago

Well...no. I don't really hang out with gay people, but then again I don't hang around many people at all. But the gay people I do talk to on a regualr basis, they really don't do much that straight people don't. We talk about movies, we talk about our houses, and other assorted things. In fact, if I didn't know they were gay, I wouldn't be able to distinguish them from a straight person.

[–]SullyKid 0 points1 point ago

Jeez man, that sounds awful.

[–]Grindstone50k 2 points3 points ago

Got punched in the face repeatedly by my father in law after letting him, his wife, and two of their children move into my house and live under my generosity and patience. Why? Because I wanted my office door open and wanting to what do what I want in my house was was "testing his patience".

[–]Heep_Purple 0 points1 point ago

Wanting to what what ? This is confusing, please explain. (no sarcasm, I am really confused) do you mean you let the door open in your house or what did you do to anger him.

[–]Grindstone50k 0 points1 point ago

Typo, meant "to do what I want".

[–]Heep_Purple 0 points1 point ago

Thanks!

[–]l80 0 points1 point ago

I SO hope you pressed charges. That's so much bullshit, I can smell it from here.

[–]Grindstone50k 1 point2 points ago

I called the cops, but before they arrived either he or his wife scrached his shoulder and he said he would press charges for assualt too. The cops said they'd have to arrest me, too. I didn't touch him. I even show them my hands, my knuckles weren't bloody or even bruised, nothing under my nails I had just trimed down the day before. I completely lost faith in our law enforcement after that.

[–]l80 0 points1 point ago

That's completely fucked up.

[–]throwaway_quinn 0 points1 point ago

Shouldn't having the same problem make you more sympathetic rather than less?

[–]scruffy01 4 points5 points ago

Well it's kind of like hearing someone complain about paying $100 in taxes when the IRS just audited you and you're $10,000 in debt because of a mistake your recently deceased accountant made 10 years ago.

[–]SketchNbeans 2 points3 points ago

That got surprisingly detailed.

[–]scruffy01 3 points4 points ago

It is hypothetical, I just had to be sure to cover all gaps because redditors tend to pick that shit apart.

[–]throwaway_quinn 6 points7 points ago

I was going to point out that the IRS is not allowed to go back more than three (in some cases, seven) years except in the case of deliberate fraud.

[–]SketchNbeans 5 points6 points ago

Scruffy sure was right about us redditors wasn't he.

[–]swander42 0 points1 point ago

You did well.

[–]throwaway_quinn 1 point2 points ago

Well, if you makes you feel any better, my father in law is a wonderful person who has never learned to speak any language I speak, but smiles at me in an encouraging fashion, and my mother in law is dead.

[–]scruffy01 0 points1 point ago

I'm glad some people out there have it easy.

I honestly never thought I would have this problem because I've been told several times that I am an easy-to-like kind of person.

But I got the in laws from hell, they hate everyone but themselves.

[–]throwaway_quinn -1 points0 points ago

I honestly never thought I would have this problem because I've been told several times that I am an easy-to-like kind of person.

Well, I like you.

But I got the in laws from hell, they hate everyone but themselves.

In my experience, those kind of people hate themselves most.

[–]squireofrnew 0 points1 point ago

Are you British (no offense)?

[–]ttnorac 0 points1 point ago

Militant Moody Kuntz

[–]Whackedjob 1 point2 points ago

The men in OP's family

[–]rickshaw_johnson 0 points1 point ago

This would also describe every one of my co-workers.

[–]TodTheTyrant -1 points0 points ago

i can tell you're a girl because who gives a fuck about your girlfriends mom or sisters being dumb twats...only a female makes enemies of females

[–]Le_that_guy[!] -1 points0 points ago

I'll just leave this here.

http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/MAbj0.jpg

[–]coozney 0 points1 point ago

The name isn't pronounced cunts, its pronounced more like coonst.

[–]tronn4 0 points1 point ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Don't fuck with these military girls 19coms 305pts 12mos funny
Thanks for the warning 56coms 647pts 5mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]relevantbaseballcard 0 points1 point ago

Any relation?

[–]reubadoob 0 points1 point ago

Funny seeing something you actually there in person to witness but didn't have the camera.

[–]arikata 1 point2 points ago

It's pronounced Koontz!!!

[–]squireofrnew 3 points4 points ago

Like Dean Koontz?

[–]arikata 0 points1 point ago

Yes! My mom's maiden name was Kuntz, safe to say she was. Wry happy to switch to my dad's name.

[–]arikata 0 points1 point ago

Yes! My mom's maiden name was Kuntz, safe to say she was. Wry happy to switch to my dad's name.

[–]playboy3381 -3 points-2 points ago

Serving overseas protecting your ability to post misogynistic pictures?

:)

[–]Jackdaws7 -5 points-4 points ago

This isn't hateful, it's unfortunate placement.

[–]sagenhaft 3 points4 points ago

I think he's more referring to "the women in my ex's family were all..." rather than the "moody kuntz" part specifically.

[–]Jackdaws7 -1 points0 points ago

Well they probably were...

[–]drunk_otter -3 points-2 points ago

This is a mother-in-law joke thread?

We've got there?

This is a big day, reddit. Big day.

[–]TheThingToSay -1 points0 points ago

One of many things I will never miss about the military.

[–]Magnieto -4 points-3 points ago

I was gonna say, the title of this thread should have been, "Most of the women in the military are..."

[–]TheThingToSay -2 points-1 points ago

Lol...well I wouldn't say "most" of them, but certainly a good chunk. I just think the ultra-cuntiness of the ultra-cunts makes it feel like more.

[–]StudleyMumfuzz -1 points0 points ago

I'd love to sleep with a woman in uniform.

[–]JediApprentice 1 point2 points ago

You shouldn't be downvoted. They are epic sluts for the most part, and you would definitely have a chance if you gave it confidence. I think it has to do with being around so many men all the time.

[–]HotSauceInTheEye 0 points1 point ago

Wow. What branch are you hanging around? The Army?

[–]JediApprentice 0 points1 point ago

Haha yes. For some reason I actually read this as "Army girl". Brain fucked up. Sorry bout that. I really know nothing about the other branches, except the Air Force a little.

[–]cuntluva -3 points-2 points ago

Oh Yeaaaah...this picture makes me reminisce over the good old times of the Army years, remembering weak insecure and unempowered females making NCO rank, which in short makes them right under God in terms of power over your life, the power trips and insanity that ensued were something to behold.

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo -1 points0 points ago

...in the armed forces?

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 27913 on app-120 running b126d3d.