this post was submitted on
1,387 points (52% like it)
14,117 up votes 12,730 down votes

funny

subscribe2,425,290 readers

9,141 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 213

[–]DazBlintze 524 points525 points ago

Ceramic. Fired. Very clever.

[–]Ceejae 233 points234 points ago

I'm sceptical that this was OP's intent.

Well picked up at any rate.

[–]SupermanV2 39 points40 points ago

Well... what's the rate?

[–]Fudanchi 91 points92 points ago

About tree-fiddy.

[–]Nomiss 29 points30 points ago

You get out of here dag dang lock ness monster.

[–]MasterBateman1 14 points15 points ago

I jumped back in the boat and said "Thomas!! What is that creature!?"

[–]NobleV 14 points15 points ago

God dammit woman! No wonda that lock ness monsta keep comin back. You keep givin it tree fiddy!

[–]FearTheStache13 6 points7 points ago

i dont get this reference

[–]w00df00t 1 point2 points ago

I guess you get down votes if you don't live in the internet and actually ask for explanations.

[–]PulpFact 2 points3 points ago

South Park isn't from this Internet thing you speak of, it's a television program.

[–]FearTheStache13 0 points1 point ago

i believe he was referring to the fact that if you arent constantly on the internet hearing and using terms, jokes, and memes all the time you wouldnt remember something like this a long time after it happened.

[–]MasterBateman1 3 points4 points ago

Well it was about that time I noticed that the Girl Scout was about 8 foot tall and was a crustacean from the Mesozoic era!

[–]mattindustries 0 points1 point ago

Wells can be measured in stones.

[–]da_prof 1 point2 points ago

Same as in town.

[–]JustZisGuy -1 points0 points ago

I'm gonna call my friend in, he's an expert on rates.

[–]zomgwtfbbq 3 points4 points ago

I'm skeptical about your spelling of "skeptical".

[–]sneeper 17 points18 points ago

(pssst. sceptical is the British spelling of skeptical).

[–]wufoo2 16 points17 points ago

We went to war with them over that.

[–]AerialAmphibian 11 points12 points ago

Yeah, that was in 1776. Then in 1812 we went at it again over "colour". That was followed by skirmishes over elevators/lifts, trucks/lorries, gasoline/petrol, and the pronunciation of "schedule", "leisure" and "aluminum".

[–]Seanzie82 4 points5 points ago

Last I heard, both sides were stockpiling resources in case war broke out over "lieutenant."

[–]413x820 2 points3 points ago

I'm skeptical of this claim.

[–]wufoo2 3 points4 points ago

I will defend to the death your right to speak freely; but you will spell it right, or I will deport you.

[–]zomgwtfbbq 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of "Life of Brian", wherein the Roman guard lectures Brian on proper Latin grammar as Brian's painting graffiti.

[–]wiredpersona 0 points1 point ago

I love that scene. Brings me back to high school Latin class where we watched this.

[–]nuworldblue -2 points-1 points ago

*u

[–]zomgwtfbbq 0 points1 point ago

Sonofa. I'm always coming across new words that are spelled differently by those dirty British. I appreciate the tip!

[–]Randall444 30 points31 points ago

That's the exact thing I laughed at, not the SJP joke cause its been flogged to death.

[–]SupermanV2 76 points77 points ago

[–]Nyarlathotep124 40 points41 points ago

Why is that man hitting SJP?

[–]SupermanV2 88 points89 points ago

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 19 points20 points ago

Reddit is so fickle, one downvoted while the other's Upvoted. Don't worry SupermanV2, I like you.

[–]SupermanV2 37 points38 points ago

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 23 points24 points ago

?

[–]SupermanV2 24 points25 points ago

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 24 points25 points ago

[–]JDole84 12 points13 points ago

[–]SmurfRockRune 0 points1 point ago

Curse you! I'm on a smart phone!

[–]acespace 3 points4 points ago

Upvoted for persistence.

[–]yojay 0 points1 point ago

Where's the photo shop with SJP?

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 1 point2 points ago

That was actually the first "aha" moment when seeing the photo. Then I saw the tag and went "ahaha!" Then I realized that the Op wasn't that smart.......then I kinda did one of those Homer Simpson "owh's"

[–]Mileskitsune -1 points0 points ago

i assumed OP wore it on his head, cause horse head gag

[–]moyno85 48 points49 points ago

'cos she looks like a horse!!!! OMG!! Stop I can't breathe!!!

[–]diggro 1 point2 points ago

And maybe because people don't like her or characters in shows for some reason.

[–]Iwant2bethe1percent 112 points113 points ago

Reddit is firing you, for making such a shit joke.

[–]Ziggarot 5 points6 points ago

I think he deserves a promotion

[–]briguy182182 82 points83 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
This has to be seen by everyone! 1com -6pts 1hr funny
Bravo Target....Bravo 1com 18pts 6mos pics

source: karmadecay

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]tmujir955 27 points28 points ago

Is the joke that he isn't a bot?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Mathesar 11 points12 points ago

I'm with you that I don't care if something is a repost, but most of them aren't bots.

You go here, enter the image URL, then it will spit out a nicely formatted table for you to post as a comment.

It's certainly possible to set up a bot to do this, but most doing it are not bots and are just individuals complaining about reposts and harvesting comment karma at the same time

[–]DownvoteALot 5 points6 points ago

And whenever you say you don't care about reposts, they repeat they only do it for people "seeking more info".

That may be true to some extent but de facto, people use those to complain about reposts. For instance, this got upvoted despite the fact that those posts have only one comment each. So much for "more info".

[–]filthwizard 48 points49 points ago

This joke is so old. Talk about flogging a dead horse.

[–]TheAceofdiamonds 6 points7 points ago

Please don't, this one would probably break.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 18 points19 points ago

facepalm

Wow. As a ex-Target employee, that's a firing, or at they very least, a long conversation with HR and your boss.

EDIT: Assuming the employee didn't take down his gag sign. There, everyone can do a happy dance because my comment is now complete.

[–]Magixren 6 points7 points ago

I thought ad signs weren't editable?

[–]Quentin_Compson 1 point2 points ago

I didn't think so either. If they were, my job on the sales floor would be a lot more fun.

[–]Magixren 1 point2 points ago

I mean since they're also the 8.5 by 11 perforated sheets to make signs, using word, you might be able to do this, but it would take some trial and error.

[–]Zan_is_Amazing 1 point2 points ago

They're not. Its fake.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

I think you can create new ones if, for example, the batch your store received is missing some. Another reason would be if a sign has a typo on it, or a price correction is needed. But I don't believe, as far as I can recall, that you can edit existing signs, no.

[–]hi_its_steph 0 points1 point ago

As a target employee, and one thats work only in signing. You can't edit the signs. It would be mass chaos.

[–]ParAvion 4 points5 points ago

No. Unless the person had a very problematic history with the company there is no way that justifies being fired. It costs way too much to hire a brand new employee to do that. It would be a much better decision to have a talk about workplace professionalism with the employee.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

Which is why I said, "at the very least, a long discussion with their boss and HR." I didn't suggest firing was the only option.

[–]TheUltimatum13 5 points6 points ago

As a former Target employee, they didn't get shit bad happening to them. Maybe a talking to.

[–]growamustache 10 points11 points ago

As the spouse of a person who was a manager at target, this is true. it's incredibly difficult to fire someone, and if you're a good worker, they would not fire you over this.

however, if you're a lazy asshole, they may use this as an opportunity to let you go.

Edit: showed my wife the pic, and she had seen it before internally to Target. She confirmed that the person almost certainly did not get fired for this.

[–]Zan_is_Amazing 2 points3 points ago

it's incredibly difficult to fire someone, and if you're a good worker, they would not fire you over this.

it's incredibly difficult to fire someone, and if they like you, they would not fire you over this.

FTFY

[–]TheUltimatum13 0 points1 point ago

I got away with shit like this all the time. I even got in fights with my managers sometimes. I did my job damn good so I knew they weren't planning on firing me but yeah, they don't really act on much unless they REALLY want to.

[–]BrianDawkins -4 points-3 points ago

I got away with shit like this all the time. I even got in fights with my managers sometimes.

Assholes like you deserve to have a shitty job at target.

[–]rogeris 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact: it doesn't suck to work at target and pay is pretty damn good.

[–]TheUltimatum13 -1 points0 points ago

Yup that is exactly it. I'm just a piece of shit. To be honest though, many of them were not me starting them and none of them were unwarranted. When someone is telling you the whole night that you aren't doing your job and is harassing you about every various little thing when in fact they short staffed hard and left just one person to manage half of the entire store himself it is actually rather obnoxious. Especially considering I did my job damn well there and got all my shit done. You can only take that shit for so long before some makes you snap. Also it is a shit boring job and finding ways to entertain yourself like with labels is a pretty small thing to do. But glad to see that you know so well about people and working in Target to know that I am just a shit person. Fuck off and die.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

Which is why I said, "or at the very least, a long conversation with their boss and HR." I didn't say firing was the only option, just a possibility.

[–]ShoddyRapInBlue 1 point2 points ago

I figured someone was already quitting soon.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

Heh. Could be, could be....

[–]rogeris 0 points1 point ago

As a team lead, I would laugh for a long time then tell them to take it down and avoid doing that in the future. You'd be a moron to punish that kind of a behavior so severely.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 1 point2 points ago

shrug I was basing my reply on my experiences. I don't think most of the team leads(certainly not my own, who was a bitchy South American woman) would have been as forgiving.

[–]rogeris 0 points1 point ago

There's always good leaders and bad leaders. The first thing I learned in retail management is to lighten up. So long as work is getting done efficiently and we're making sales, why not have some fun?

[–]ActionFlank -3 points-2 points ago

Assuming the employee taking the picture didn't switch the tag back.

[–]JohnnyCastaway -4 points-3 points ago

Yes, assuming that. Still not a bright thing to do.

[–]ReUsable_Tampon 2 points3 points ago

Why do I always have to scroll down to the comments to understand what's going? =/

[–]REDBULLgivesUupvotes 10 points11 points ago

All SJP jokes aside, who on earth would buy this??

[–]Demonweed 58 points59 points ago

Matthew Broderick?

[–]NumberCandy 5 points6 points ago

On a separate point, what the hell are you actually gonna do with a statue of a horse head

[–]Jigsus 17 points18 points ago

Put it in your enemy's bed

[–]acespace 9 points10 points ago

They'll be petrified...

[–]Schmich 2 points3 points ago

OMG WHAT IS SARAH JESSICA PARKER DOING IN MY BED!

[–]thinks_its_4chan 0 points1 point ago

I would remove the head off of a dead horse and place this one in the hole where the real head used to be. Then I would beat it with my rigid cock over and over until I came. Beating a dead horse is fun.

[–]bsteeper -1 points0 points ago

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 2 points3 points ago

People like pictures and statues of horses and Lions and stuff like that, I think it makes them feel rich.

[–]Narwhalxxx -1 points0 points ago

I have one for reasons I am unsure of.

[–]redman2532 0 points1 point ago

If you were Matthew Broaderick, you would bang it

[–]WyoBuckeye 12 points13 points ago

Somebody should be fired for using a joke that worn out.

[–]l1nk1npark 2 points3 points ago

The guy who actually made the tag, and not OP who thought this picture was funny and took it from Tumblr?

[–]Shoblast 0 points1 point ago

that took some gall,op is not that attractive himself

[–]TargetTeamMember 1 point2 points ago

Nobody, because those signs can be printed in the backroom, so it was probably taken down immediately after the picture was taken. That is if it's not 'shopped.

[–]Zan_is_Amazing 1 point2 points ago

It is fake. You cannot edit the signage.

[–]TargetTeamMember 0 points1 point ago

You can print arbitrary signs, though. So, it could be real, it's just probably not.

[–]CuriousGeorgia 3 points4 points ago

I find Sarah Jessica Parker's jokes very bully of the internet. It's not nice.

[–]jaredtomas 2 points3 points ago

Why the long face?

[–]you_sir_are_wrong 3 points4 points ago

Whoever you stole this from

[–]SaulZentzman 3 points4 points ago

God. Awful. Can we stop beating a dead Sarah Jessica Parker?

[–]haiku_robot -1 points0 points ago

God. Awful. Can we 
stop beating a dead Sarah 
Jessica Parker?

[–]autodidact89 2 points3 points ago

I don't care about reposts.. except when people claim it's their original content. You reposted it; you have no idea if anyone got fired.

[–]goletaal 0 points1 point ago

Dumb joke headline /= claimed OC.

[–]Supertycoon 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for not saying "you had one job".

[–]overused-meme-alert 0 points1 point ago

you had one job

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

.

[–]fromtheriver 2 points3 points ago

REPOST!

[–]cdegon -1 points0 points ago

HAHAHA! Well worth it!

[–]nonamebeats -1 points0 points ago

Def not the sculptor, cause that shit is uncanny.

[–]underdog4909 -1 points0 points ago

[–]Karp42 -1 points0 points ago

definitely worth the job. did anyone buy it?

[–]Thegreatbart -1 points0 points ago

What you did there. I saw it.

[–]gimmedatneck -1 points0 points ago

Hahaha. Did you laugh as they were 'talking to you'?

[–]Sweyday10 -1 points0 points ago

You?

[–]anicolette -1 points0 points ago

Worth it.

[–]jacktheripper678 -1 points0 points ago

Never gets old.

[–]rikashiku -1 points0 points ago

Congratulations.

[–]KCbizzy 1 point2 points ago

Whoever made this gets an A++++++ for originality!

[–]Cosmiche -1 points0 points ago

Burst out laughing. brilliant work, employee person

[–]Logan_Lamp -1 points0 points ago

As an employee of target, I am jealous that I did not get this at my store

[–]btotherad 1 point2 points ago

Not you, because this is definitely a repost.

[–]dubblowsheaven -1 points0 points ago

I just had to cover up my laugh at work with some horribly fake coughing.

[–]41571 -1 points0 points ago

I dunno. Looks pretty accurate to me.

[–]nohbodyshome 1 point2 points ago

I'm going to lean on the side of photoshopped, simply because that's not how the signing labels work at Target. Unless he scanned something called Sarah Jessica Parker ceramic, which I'm pretty sure Target doesn't sell (most Target stores sell the same crap just different arrangement), and sent it to the labeling printer so it can be printed on that 3x5 it wouldn't have come out that way.

I would need to see the whole sign, and the orginal shelf label for proof.

[–]aexc17 -1 points0 points ago

Nice, one of the funniest references to the transvestite donkey witch that is Sarah Jessica Parker I've seen.

[–]G3Px -1 points0 points ago

Nobody, the guy was probably promoted for his humor

[–]TheBlasto -1 points0 points ago

"Guess who got fired." is a sentence, not a question.

[–]jschnees -1 points0 points ago

lolol

[–]Spinzter -1 points0 points ago

Was it you?

[–]batmanmilktruck 1 point2 points ago

Haha, its funny because SJP isn't very hot.

[–]Dr_Turkey -1 points0 points ago

Me looking at the image: "Donkey? Ass? His ass got fired? 'guess who got fired? MY ASS!'?" Scrolls down "Sarah Jessica Parker? I don't get it... did she get fired from something? Fired because it's a vase and that's a pun" Ponders for another minute "OH! OOOOOOOOOOOOH! Wow I'm dumb"

[–]vj88 -1 points0 points ago

fired? I would of promoted this employee

[–]CanadianEgg 1 point2 points ago

repost

[–]SomethingSnyde 1 point2 points ago

What's the DPCI on that thing?

[–]electrolemon -4 points-3 points ago

I don't blame them, employing those who beat dead horses for fun is bad for the company.

[–]WrathOfKahrlos 0 points1 point ago

Guess Who Just Reposted?!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]OnceYouGoJack -2 points-1 points ago

Hay yashar1, enough with the puns..

[–]jbell -2 points-1 points ago

Of course he was fired - the label should have read "Princess Anne".

[–]Brahaha 0 points1 point ago

I work at a target and this would have not got someone fired, unless they were on a final warning and your stl was a complete douche.

[–]ctcmjh -2 points-1 points ago

I got fired from Target today and this cheered me up.

[–]richiekk1 -2 points-1 points ago

theres nothing wrong with what they did, they were spot on,. SJP looks like a horse he nailed it fauuuuuuuuckkk

[–]Witcoff -5 points-4 points ago

[–]TheSkiFreeYeti -1 points0 points ago

Not you because you made the label, took the picture, and tossed it.

[–]WhyPeepa -3 points-2 points ago

It's like she is really in my screen!

[–]wiz3stwIzard -2 points-1 points ago

thought of the scrotey mcboogerballs episode of south park immediately.

[–]kilr -2 points-1 points ago

Had to set up that endcap. So many things!

[–]Kruse -2 points-1 points ago

Beyond the SJP joke, why would anyone buy that ugly thing?

[–]hockeykidjsp -2 points-1 points ago

and why is there a Transvestite Donkey Witch sitting on the shelf?

[–]chemispe -2 points-1 points ago

worth it

[–]GroovenileDelinquent -2 points-1 points ago

Worth it.

[–]GuadoElite -2 points-1 points ago

Me... I got fired yesterday.

[–]Zan_is_Amazing 1 point2 points ago

FAKE! You cannot make sale signs like that. You scan the bar code and the computer makes the sale sign with no edit option.

Source: Worked at Target for 5+ years.

[–]Kryten_2X4B_523P 0 points1 point ago

Don't use question marks like that?

[–]agentup 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit , oh no you didnt! Do they actually allow such epic burns on reddit? What if sarah jessica parker sees this?!

[–]pharaoh_b -2 points-1 points ago

The guy who decided to make a Sarah Jessica Parker ceramic?

[–]ChuckCharles420 -2 points-1 points ago

SJP for looking like a horse.

[–]juicetees 0 points1 point ago

i have seen this maaaybe 500 times. cmon.

[–]eXXaXion -2 points-1 points ago

The person probably got promoted...

[–]uSeeWhatiDidThere -2 points-1 points ago

Close enough...

[–]Babelfish14 -2 points-1 points ago

At first I wondered why a Sarah Jessica Parker ceramic would exist.

[–]jimmr -2 points-1 points ago

It took me a moment... Seems like reasonable marketing.

[–]CeeEsTee -5 points-4 points ago

Oh Target. I love you now more than ever.

[–]stryker0 -5 points-4 points ago

I laughed at this more than I should have.

[–]raping_horsefucker66 -4 points-3 points ago

This got me so hard

[–]Unsecured_wifi -5 points-4 points ago

Too fucking funny

[–]usagicookies -3 points-2 points ago

I feel that this bust really captured Sara Jessica Parker's true beauty.

[–]firefae83 -3 points-2 points ago

I don't get it. Why'd you get fired? That is SJP, is it not? If not, it's a very striking look-alike.

[–]freshdachs -1 points0 points ago

I actually find her very attractice.

[–]admiralcaptain 0 points1 point ago

fuck damn it i hate working at target.

[–]110110 -3 points-2 points ago

Oh I See What You Did There

[–]overused-meme-alert 1 point2 points ago

I See What You Did There

WEEOOOWEEOOOWEEOOO

.

[–]ellinger -4 points-3 points ago

Totally. Worth it.

[–]whicketywack -4 points-3 points ago

[–]achillesfist -4 points-3 points ago

was it the gun as sarah took off from the starting line?