this post was submitted on
1,359 points (67% like it)
2,605 up votes 1,246 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,467,109 readers

6,245 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1358
1359

When someone says "I know karate"... (i.chzbgr.com)

submitted ago by JPSpiller

all 110 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]slipperyfist 70 points71 points ago

This is a choreographed demonstration. Though I do love seeing it reposted again and again as proof that "x" martial art is bad.

[–]Clownsheuz 24 points25 points ago

Yeah it's pretty apparent when the attacker ends his little kick parade with his back facing the person he's fighting.

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 4 points5 points ago

Also, if OP is implying that this wouldn't happen between two karateka, that's wrong. When done in karate, the name of the technique used for the takedown is ashi-barai.

I did karate for many years and I've used that technique in fights. I'm not saying anything against MMA, but there's a lot of ignorance about what karate is, and there's also a lot of crap karate out there, just like there's a lot of poor teaching of other styles. So be careful when drawing conclusions. You are almost certainly operating on incomplete information.

[–]AtomicSamuraiCyborg 5 points6 points ago

It does seem choreographed, anyway. I mean, whose entire mode of attack is roundhouse kicks to the head?

[–]rainator 3 points4 points ago

Could just be someone who has just got their first belt or watched a load of youtube and thinks that makes them Chuck Norris.

[–]zkredux 1 point2 points ago

Someone once told Chuck Norris that a roundhouse kick was not the most efficient way to kick people. This event is regarded as the single biggest mistake ever made by a human being.

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 0 points1 point ago

Norris really was a very good fighter. He could do a lot of things that would give someone less skilled a bloody nose.

[–]AtomicSamuraiCyborg 0 points1 point ago

But they don't look awkward. I'm no student of the martial arts, but those are pretty smooth looking moves.

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 0 points1 point ago

When he's doing kicks, his range seems iffy, but I think that's because it's a demo and he's trying not to connect.

[–]thedastardlyone 0 points1 point ago

I think MMA helps prove that simple straightforward techniques work best against trained combatants. Karate and other martial arts aren't bad, but in a one on one fight ground game is hugely the biggest factor. That is if one person is a good ground fighter, his opponent has to be too if he wants to beat him.

[–]oni-san -2 points-1 points ago

Yeah, I did karate for over a decade and have been in several fights where I was forced to use my training. Except, I never needed to use the complicated or 'advanced' techniques. Just a quick block and counter punch and it was over.

It was kind of... depressing.

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, same here. Only difference is that it was usually evasion rather than blocking, or sometimes sen-no-sen (for the non-karateka, that's when you can see the opponent commit to his attack, then you hit him first-- beating him to the punch, or as the man said, gettin' your retaliation in first). Of course, better yet was convincing them to have another drink instead of fighting. I managed that very tricky technique on a couple occasions.

[–]splice42 0 points1 point ago

Ashi-barai is a foot sweep. This guy kicked him in the nuts. That's not the same move at all.

[–]uncoiledspaghetti 5 points6 points ago

Eh, close enough.

[–]Daneruu 5 points6 points ago

To me it looked like he kicked his ankle or maybe shin/knee area. His leg doesn't move nearly enough to reach that high up, I think. Besides, it would put him off balance, the exact same thing he's trying to take advantage of.

[–]Momentstealer 2 points3 points ago

Target is just to the inside of the leg below the groin. It's a prime target of nerves, hurts more than a nut shot if you do it right.

[–]HammerJack 12 points13 points ago

No... No he didn't. gif frame by frame He kicked him just above the knee causing his knee to buckle.

[–]chewp911 3 points4 points ago

No he didn't.

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 0 points1 point ago

Ashi-barai is a foot sweep.

That's right. He swept the supporting leg from the inside. You can see the opponent's left leg go up in the air after the sweep. I think Daneruu is right but it looks to me like the contact was more likely to mid-to-upper shin. The angle and video resolution aren't that great so I can't say for sure. I would have done it nearer the ankle since that requires less force to knock the leg out (the closer to the body you try to move someone's limb, the greater the polar moment of inertia), but, y'know, I wasn't the one doing it. And it was good enough, I guess.

Regardless, turning your back on someone is a wonderful invitation for them to inflict pain on you in any of a number of ways. I'd have just gone in and punched the guy in the kidney and/or the back of the head.

And, yeah, it was choreographed. So there's no point in reading too much into it anyway.

[–]oni-san 1 point2 points ago

Ashi-barai is a foot-sweep. What he did there are more of a kin-geri

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 0 points1 point ago

I don't think so. The point of contact was the opponent's shin or very near the knee, as can be seen by the movement of the opponent's leg immediately after the kick. Kin-geri is to the groin. That wouldn't have taken the guy down in the same way.

It's not exactly the preferred way to do an ashi-barai either, since the striking point was so high up the leg, but it looked more like a sweep than a kick to me.

[–]papagayno 19 points20 points ago

You should check out Lyoto Machida, a light-heavyweight UFC ex champion. Sure, he is a complete fighter with a lot of other skills other than Karate, but Karate is his base, and he is just extremely dangerous in his standup.

http://images.wildammo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Front-Kick-KO.gif

[–]astro2039194 1 point2 points ago

That kick was very deceiving. He raised his left knee (making his opponent prepare for that knee/kick) but instead hit him with the right leg.

With that said. I think any sport that has to do with fighting/martial arts is not a matter of which style is better. It's whoever can deceive their opponent to a point where they make a mistake. The superior deceiver is usually the winner. And that, my friends, is why we call it an (martial) art.

[–]czorio 2 points3 points ago

Afaik, it's just a standard jump meagiri, a straight kick forward. But yeah, deceiving is one of the pillars in Karate, albeit not a big one, and I guess that it is as important in other martial arts.

[–]papagayno 0 points1 point ago

Yes it was very deceiving, part of it is, he usually has a very fast left leg kick that he likes to throw, and gives almost no warning before he throws it, so it was very hard to anticipate this front kick at all.

[–]TaurusBurger 1 point2 points ago

This is why you don't go charging into Machida.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8u1o1UQ7q1rrwwgco1_500.gif

From another angle:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8u20fiAgN1rrwwgco1_500.gif

[–]FederalX 21 points22 points ago

And that is why you don't spam O when playing Soul Caliber. EDIT: Totally haven't played SC in years. Thanks for the correct button guys.

[–]spotter 4 points5 points ago

Did you mean O?

[–]luKrek 0 points1 point ago

x blocks!

[–]uncoiledspaghetti -3 points-2 points ago

no, a blocks. x is horizontal attack. B is kick.

Fuck your playstation.

[–]rabid_teacake 4 points5 points ago

Sweep the leg

[–]snatchenvy 1 point2 points ago

PUT HIM IN A BODY BAG!

[–]Slybunny 35 points36 points ago

When someone has mastered karate, you would be the person throwing all those kicks and going crazy and the person who mastered karate would be the one kicking you in the balls.

[–]dijitalia 9 points10 points ago

Isn't that the point of the gif...?

[–]bw1870 7 points8 points ago

I thought it was obvious, too.

[–]Timboflex 8 points9 points ago

Don't know why you're being downvoted, since that one kick IS being made by a master black belt.

[–]overlyattachedbf 0 points1 point ago

because that's obviously the point of the gif.

[–]JavaLSU 3 points4 points ago

I guess it depends on whether you're fighting for your life or competing in a tournament.

If this were actually during a tournament, the guy throwing all the kicks would have gotten the point because he forced the other guy out of bounds.

Fighting and Sport have very different goals.

Edit: Of course, a person doing this in a real fight would look like an idiot.

[–]Fonterror 1 point2 points ago

How would he fare if the attacker had 2 dildos?

[–]bw1870 2 points3 points ago

He'd probably take the pounding.

[–]MyWholeBodyIsCrying 13 points14 points ago

Karate, Seril? The Dane Cook of martial arts?

[–]VinceS22 8 points9 points ago

ISIS agents use Krav Maga.

[–]StreakyChimp 4 points5 points ago

*Cyril.

[–]sterling_mallory 2 points3 points ago

"Hi, I'm a huge fan of the cock, and my name is..." cyyrrilll fiigggisss

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 6 points7 points ago

I do not see how this is what happens.

[–]Wolf_Man92 2 points3 points ago

Yeah bitches rolled a 20!

[–]dakillersnarf 3 points4 points ago

its like im watching indiana jones...

[–]immune2iocaine 2 points3 points ago

Fun story. Apparently that scene was supposed to be this amazing sword fight, but the extra doing that stunt for Ford wasn't ready or prepared or something. Ford was already dealing with Montezuma’s disease, and was (understandably) impatient. He asked why he couldn't just shoot the guy; the director conceded, and an iconic scene was born!

TL;DR: Travelers diarrhea FTW

[–]Birdslapper 0 points1 point ago

QUICK! Everybody get in here and circlejerk about how martial arts is bogus!

edit: Yea I said "bogus", get at me

[–]midnightrider 4 points5 points ago

bogus is dumb

[–]Birdslapper 1 point2 points ago

Needless to say, they got at me

[–]Efanito 1 point2 points ago

CQC? Real Big Boss...

[–]Andy284 0 points1 point ago

Try to remember the basics of CQC...

[–]daschande 0 points1 point ago

I don't know karate, but I know ca-razy!

[–]thunnus 0 points1 point ago

I know Karate. Voodoo, too.

[–]Vessix 1 point2 points ago

No experienced martial artist would turn his back to his opponent like that...

[–]waponiwoo 0 points1 point ago

Not without chambering a back-kick in the process, at least (donkey kick, whatever your favorite MA calls it)

[–]GeneralAgrippa 0 points1 point ago

For the last time, no you don't.

[–]NoDiggityNoDoubt 0 points1 point ago

Some punk tried threatening me one day, spouting off that he's a black belt in whatever-tsu. I wasn't looking for a fight, and I was just trying to enjoy my night.

He gets into a stupid little stance, and starts doing some kicks and jumps trying to intimidate me. I shook my head in disbelief and tried to go about my business. Well, dude pushes me, yells at me to "fight me like a man, motherfucker," proceeds to back up, then kick me square in the face.

What sucks for him is I grew up with a little brother who took a few different martial arts pretty seriously, and always tried to use his techniques on me. I grabbed his foot before it connected with my face, lifted it up, and walked right at him.

Just as when I did this to my little brother when we were younger, the look of sheer terror on his face was priceless and make me laugh even harder.

[–]snidecomment69 0 points1 point ago

as an mma fighter, this is pretty much what happens

[–]mistaknowitall 0 points1 point ago

Everybody knows karate is fake.

[–]Magdiesel94 -5 points-4 points ago

As a black belt in TKD this is a poor example of martial arts... If you want to hit someone you place your knee where their face is not your foot. That way when they step back you have enough of a reach to still hit them.

[–]slipperyfist 21 points22 points ago

As a 4th degree black belt I can tell you that's absolutely not true. No one that knows what they're doing is going to respond to a kick by backing up into the path of the kick. Two counters to a kick are to punch, or to do a takedown of some kind (leg sweep, single leg, leg catch, etc.). If you're kicking someone with your knee by their face you're A) right in their punching range while standing on one leg (ie not mobile compared to their two legs) B) right in their grappling range while standing on one leg (ie not very mobile compared to their two legs). Kicks are a fantastic tool for long range, but they're generally less useful the closer you get to your opponent.

Edit: Grammar

[–]Stubbs4Prez 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for knowing what you are talking about.

[–]azod 0 points1 point ago

To add to slipperyfist's comment, another art, savate, teaches you to kick with the toe. (It's assumed you're wearing footwear.) One of the target points is the temple. The only way to get your toe into that part of someone's skull is to have your foot next to the target's head.

(Now I'll log out to avoid the onslaught of surrendering jokes that'll appear as soon as everyone looks up the origin of savate on Wikipedia.)

[–]slipperyfist 0 points1 point ago

The only way to get your toe into that part of someone's skull is to have your foot next to the target's head.

Agreed, but I think Magdiesel was implying that your opponent will back up into the path of the kick for you.

[–]azod 0 points1 point ago

Ah, yes. I didn't pick up on that the first two times I read his comment. Not enough coffee....

[–]tensoccs 0 points1 point ago

Hey waitaminute. Isn't savate French?!? The French don't know how to fight! I heard that on the internet.

[–]madumimike 0 points1 point ago

i totally agree. myself, i would gotten in closer where his kicks are of no use and a well executed take down would have worked. but at the same time, it's probably a lot better to keep your distance until they get tired of kicking.

[–]Magdiesel94 1 point2 points ago

Well yeah, you do have a point there. I was just referring to the people I sparred with. We strictly did punches and kicks and refrained from the grappling unless it was grappling day. The sweeping's a bit difficult for me to do because I'm a bit chubby and tall... but it has happened to me. I only placed my knee in the strike zone because a lot of the people I sparred with backed up pretty quickly. I was not the fastest martial artists....

[–]hoyfkd -2 points-1 points ago

As someone who had a lot of fun sparring and going up against Black Belts in "TKD," I'll let you in on the secret of why they are so easy (generally) to wipe the floor with. DON'T TRY TO KICK A GUY IN THE FACE. Sure, you might get lucky, but 9 times out of 10, you're gonna get a nice nut punch for your troubles.

Where I grew up we had Ernie Reyes West Coast Tae Kwon Do. A horrible chain of child care centers masquerading as martial arts academies. It's amazing how many pre-teen black belts they can kick out, so long as the bill gets paid. It's also amazing how many late teen Black Belts they can put out who have zero understanding of how a fight works.

Shit. At a family BBQ I had one of their "Black Belts" try to show off after talking shit by trying some kind of spinning, flying, jumping spinning kick to my face. His mom was FREAKED THE FUCK OUT when I took him down, mid-air, and he got the wind knocked out of him.

[–]strangedigital -2 points-1 points ago

High kicks are not practical against anyone. Very easily turned against you. Never should be used, unless you can do it in under a quarter second.

[–]slipperyfist 2 points3 points ago

You're right, head kicks are never effective.

[–]ChollaIsNotDildo 1 point2 points ago

It depends. If I've just slipped a punch and managed to snag someone's arm, a head-level roundhouse over the immobilized arm can be quite effective. Mind you, it's not an opportunity that arises all that often. Generally I avoid doing kicks above groin or kidney level except in those cases where it's just too good to pass up. Anyway, tactical flexibility is one of the signs of a good martial artist. You never know what I'll do next, and I like it that way.

[–]uncoiledspaghetti 0 points1 point ago

If you have an opportunity to kick someone in the head, it can knock them out.

I'd say that's pretty practical.

[–]taz20075 0 points1 point ago

If do right, no can defense.

[–]strawberryfield4ever -3 points-2 points ago

Like a boss

[–]animator01 0 points1 point ago

That actually looks like taekwondo.

[–]waponiwoo 0 points1 point ago

Then it's bad TKD (not a bad MA, just not good TKD form). He is telegraphic his moves by keeping his plant foot sideways, rather than spinning on the ball of his foot at the snap. He is doing more muay thai style kicks (long sweeping kicks for power instead of more compact kicks for speed and initiative). His first fewkicks are somewhere between bad hook kicks and bad side kicks (from a WTF TKD perspective).

[–]animator01 1 point2 points ago

That was quite enlightening thank you.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 28448 on app-80 running c9c2ee1.