this post was submitted on
1,479 points (53% like it)
10,207 up votes 8,728 down votes

funny

subscribe2,609,725 readers

12,230 users here now

Please take our newest poll about facebook posts

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 154 comments

[–]Bobsutan 103 points104 points ago

I lol'd harder at this than i probably should have.

[–]brianbrianbrian 53 points54 points ago

dat last panel

[–]lethargicwalrus 22 points23 points ago

Except Hagrid isn't really a Wizard. The Ministry of Magic destroyed his wand.

[–]nexuapex 59 points60 points ago

Harry isn't a wizard. He doesn't have his wand yet.

[–]albequirky 25 points26 points ago

Just because he isn't qualified to perform magic does not mean he isn't a wizard. Fuck the ministry.

[–]Willyjwade 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, fuck the ministry. Wizarding World Anarchists unite.

[–]ThatSleepyGuy 1 point2 points ago

FUCK THE AURORS

COMING STRAIGHT OUTTA DIAGON

YOUNG WIZARD GOT IT HARD CAUSE I'M RON

AND NOT THE OTHER GINGER TO MAKE THE AURORS THINK

THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO KILL A MINORITY

[–]nizzleh -1 points0 points ago

Who else rapped this in their head?

[–]soundsofscience 0 points1 point ago

When did Ron Weasley join CB4?

[–]CharioteerOut 0 points1 point ago

Curse the State! Incendio.

[–]hotpiehotpiehotpie 21 points22 points ago

so losing/breaking your wand removes your wizardry? so in the 2nd book Ron stops being a wizard, and Harry stops being a wizard in the 7th book

your logic is flawless

[–]soundsofscience -1 points0 points ago

Following his expulsion from Hogwarts, the Ministry of Magic broke Hagrid’s oak wand and forbade him from performing magic.[18] Hagrid keeps the pieces of his wand in a pink umbrella, and performs small spells from time to time; however, he was technically forbidden to do magic until the third book, and since he is not a fully qualified wizard, he "will always be a bit inept" as compared to other adult wizards,[6] but "occasionally surprises everyone, himself included, by bringing off more impressive bits of magic".[19] He also has magical abilities that stem from his giant blood http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubeus_Hagrid

[–]EpicNade 1 point2 points ago

What he's saying is that Hagrid is a wizard because he has the CAPACITY to perform magic, not because he is licensed wizard.

[–]hotpiehotpiehotpie 0 points1 point ago

none of what you have said has defended lethargicwalrus's statement that:

Hagrid isn't really a Wizard.

I am well aware of everything you just said. I know that Hagrid isn't a qualified wizard, but he is still a wizard.

You copied and pasted a paragraph from wikipedia filled with useless facts

[–]SevenFingerStud 5 points6 points ago

Why are you guys fighting?

It's Harry Potter...

[–]Da_Snail 2 points3 points ago

Harry Potter is serious business, just look at all the posts about Emma Watson every day.

[–]A_Giant_midget -1 points0 points ago

0.o

[–]Citeh 11 points12 points ago

[–]PenisFlyTrap 7 points8 points ago

I say "Suck my pixie dick, ya chubby coon" while gaming far too much.

[–]shadowmask 4 points5 points ago

How the hell have I not seen this.

I cannot breathe, I cannot see, I cannot hear anything but scottish curses.

I have never laughed so hard for so long in my life.

[–]Uebermorgen 0 points1 point ago

now that escalated quickly...

[–]Hounmlayn 0 points1 point ago

Don't even have to watch it to know what this is. The comments make it way too obvious.

[–]skyman724 0 points1 point ago

"Stick it up your fucking dick hole!"

[–]Ragefacesoflucy 1 point2 points ago

I was waiting for a tear to come out of his eye that said, "stahp."

[–]incredibledonut 0 points1 point ago

Welcome to Tumblr everyone!

[–]UnsungGentleman 0 points1 point ago

This was a lot funnier when I saw it yesterday on Reddit.........

[–]RocketRedRocket 4 points5 points ago

It blows my mind that that was 11 years ago.

[–]jordanminjie 1 point2 points ago

Never forget.

[–]that_other_guy_jim 9 points10 points ago

Does that fact that Hagrid is not a wizard undermine the joke?

[–]brianbrianbrian 75 points76 points ago

How is Hagrid not a wizard? So he's part giant, big deal. Give him a wand, he can do fucking magic. Just because he didn't graduate doesn't mean shit either - it's Hogwarts, not medical school.

[–]Second_Foundationeer 29 points30 points ago

He is a wizard, just not a school trained or ministry authorized wizard.. I mean, you're either in the class of wizard, squib, or muggle, right? Or convict?

[–]skyman724 14 points15 points ago

Or slave, like Dobby.

Poor, poor Dobby. sobs

[–]BCP27 3 points4 points ago

No, only humans can be wizards, other creatures that can do magic are just other creatures where all of them have the ability to do magic.

Kinda racist in a species sort of a way.

[–]skyman724 4 points5 points ago

I'm sure humans can be slaves too.

(I mean in the context of HP; I AM NOT A RACIST)

[–]Krutonman 0 points1 point ago

You are a little if when you think of the word slave the first thing you think of is black people.

[–]BCP27 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, but they would still be a muggle, wizard, or squib. My point is that they reserve those classifications for humans only. Other magical creatures get the shaft, whether or not they are slaves.

[–]byakko 0 points1 point ago

Isn't Fleur part...that pixie-fairy thing her grandma was.

Merlin himself wasn't totally human either, if we follow his origin story.

Merlin's traditional biography casts him as a cambion: born of a mortal woman, sired by an incubus, the non-human wellspring from whom he inherits his supernatural powers and abilities

But modern wizards still revere him.

Granted whether or not Rowling wants to use that origin in Harry Potter's Merlin is up to her. Still, not much is said about his origin in the HP books beyond he was in Slytherin and he championed Muggle right's. If he supported Muggle-borns, it might be because it's unsaid that he himself is Muggle-born, just with amagical sire like an incubus in his real-life origin.

So yeah, the purebreds are racists, but the definition of 'wizard', following Merlin's example, seems to suggest all current wizards descended from a coupling of a normal human and some magical creature.

[–]skyloftknight 0 points1 point ago

Exactly. And Hagrid can still perform small spells with his umbrella. Like giving Dudley a pig's tail. He's not allowed to use magic, but he does it anyway.

[–]velmaspaghetti -1 points0 points ago

But the Ministry forbade him from practicing magic.

[–]ImActuallyLieing 13 points14 points ago

Didn't you see him turn that dick Dudley half-pig?

[–]velmaspaghetti 1 point2 points ago

He may have practiced magic, but I don't think he was legally considered a wizard. I guess it just depends on how you look at it.

[–]doug89 1 point2 points ago

If Hagrid isn't a wizard after 4 years of school then how can Harry be a wizard at 11?

[–]tykmerc 0 points1 point ago

It was 11 when Harry first learned he was a wizard.

[–]that_other_guy_jim -1 points0 points ago

He had two magical parents.

[–]doug89 1 point2 points ago

Hagrid had a magical father. Are you saying that he is more of a Wizard/Witch than a muggle-born?

[–]velmaspaghetti 0 points1 point ago

Because Harry is legally qualified to be a wizard, and Hagrid is not. I'm not saying I believe Hagrid really isn't a wizard. I'm just trying to play the devil's advocate, and try to justify why one might think Hagrid isn't a wizard.

[–]xtreme_box 7 points8 points ago

how is he not a wizard?

[–]UK_Reddit_User 4 points5 points ago

Well he isn't a qualified wizard and isn't strictly speaking allowed to use magic. Maybe that's what he meant

[–]nexuapex 21 points22 points ago

"Yer a wizard, Harry."

"What? No I'm—"

"Well, technercally speaking, you won't be a wizard until you turn 17 and pass your NEWTs and get the Trace taken off yer. But yer a wizard!"

[–]UK_Reddit_User 4 points5 points ago

OK good point, my rebuttal was not lexiconically consistent with the material at hand

[–]tehcharizard 1 point2 points ago

lexiconically

This is my new word of the day. I am going to struggle a lot to fit it in anywhere naturally.

[–]that_other_guy_jim 0 points1 point ago

He's forbidden from using magic because he was expelled from Hogwarts.

[–]AlanLolspan 2 points3 points ago

I wanted to point this out, but I didn't want to sound like a Melvin. Thanks for taking the bullet.

[–]lordeirias 0 points1 point ago

I wondered why he looked hurt. You'd think he'd do his big jolly laugh, slap Harry on the back, and beam at being called a wizard.

[–]onesteplower 0 points1 point ago

I don't have to be a wizard to ride a flying motorcycle?

This. Changes. Everything.

edit: I humbly apologize for cracking a joke in r/funny. I didn't realize that this is such serious business.

[–]zeamaize -1 points0 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

thatsracist.gif

[–]inertia186 -4 points-3 points ago

Not that much.

[–]giggitygoo123 -1 points0 points ago

[–]sedemon 0 points1 point ago

Almost won a game of munchkins tonight with hairy potter.

[–]ProfessorD2 -1 points0 points ago

This is definitely regional. I recently moved from the Boston area to the Seattle area and realized this (and other) pronunciation differences. Back home we say Harry with more like tarry (then again, that may be regional too. Hmmm), so Harry and hairy don't sound exactly the same. Close enough still for a chuckle.

In short, this joke works better in some places than others.

[–]q-TheAdvocate-a 0 points1 point ago

That last pane has got to be the best one.

[–]mastr_slik 0 points1 point ago

That brought me back.

[–]Haikuyori -1 points0 points ago

I thought this was remotely funny, then I read title and then I found it hilarious, thank you for those ingenuitive titles, god bless you

[–]hameerabbasi -1 points0 points ago

Yer* (Since my Harry Potter book Nazi-ing supersedes my Grammar Nazi-ing)

[–]Da_Snail 0 points1 point ago

This scene will always remind me of this.

[–]NiceGuyMike 0 points1 point ago

He's not wizard

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Hagrid is not a wizard. He is half giant, half man. Get the facts straight, pal.

[–]TheDroopy 0 points1 point ago

[–]EOTWAWKI 0 points1 point ago

This only works in Canada and the US where the name "Harry" is pronounced "Hairy". In the rest of the English speaking countries "Harry" is pronounced to rhyme with "Marry".

When I first came to Canada I thought that "Hairy" was the kids nickname because coincidentally he did have very long hair.

[–]YERAWIZRDHARRY -1 points0 points ago

LOL

[–]ArmouredFear -1 points0 points ago

Happy Cake day :D

[–]JmanndaBoss -4 points-3 points ago

it's a repost, but for the sake of the cake I shall bestow one upvote

[–]giraffeguy226 -4 points-3 points ago

As soon as I saw the title, I knew exactly what it was.

[–]zeamaize 4 points5 points ago

Damn.

[–]yer_a_wizard -1 points0 points ago

I'MA WHAAAT?

[–]netgamer7k -2 points-1 points ago

not funny

[–]UK_Reddit_User -5 points-4 points ago

Lucky in England we pronounce it Harry, not hairy

[–]daggereight 5 points6 points ago

Lucky here in the U.S. those are pronounced exactly the same and I have no idea what you mean.

[–]kerdon 0 points1 point ago

Wow this is old. Still funny though.

[–]Anoxiuh -2 points-1 points ago

Hagrid flunked out. He's not a wizard... Just sayin'.

[–]superpeteza 0 points1 point ago

HAHAHAH. Really. Funniest "You're a wizard, Harry" I've seen.

[–]smalltownofgods 0 points1 point ago

Ohhhhhh, snap!

[–]Azael_the_Tiefling -2 points-1 points ago

Something actually funny on /r/funny?

[–]bradgrammar 0 points1 point ago

You're a Lizard Barry.

[–]bradgrammar 1 point2 points ago

You're a blizzard Gary.

[–]bradgrammar 0 points1 point ago

You're a gizzard Larry.

[–]GrowdonTreeman -1 points0 points ago

This just made my entire week. Thanks redditors!

[–]welchp2 -3 points-2 points ago

i had to think for a moment mostly

[–]SURAH14 -1 points0 points ago

I laughed so hard! Thank you for the wonderful belly aches!

Have an upvote sir!

[–]Simi566 -4 points-3 points ago

...as I'm watching that scene of Harry potter 0.0