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top 200 commentsshow all 268

[–]DeluxePineapple 621 points622 points ago

[–]capoeirista13 151 points152 points ago

oh my god it's real

[–]bucketzzz 17 points18 points ago

[–]Darth_Hobbes 20 points21 points ago

Thank you for this gift.

[–]Zenodice -2 points-1 points ago

Dont you mean "this gem" /youseewhatididthere

[–]YSCapital 26 points27 points ago

why not just call this /r/9gag?

[–]JIGGER_MY_DIGGER 83 points84 points ago

WHY NOT JUST CALL IT R/FUNNY?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

I'm shocked no one has added a "Bravery Level: Shaved Saiyan Balls" or something to this comment yet.

[–]Fly_Caster -5 points-4 points ago

Because this shit is only funny if you are a teenager.

[–]linkybaa 43 points44 points ago

Sounds like /r/funny.

[–]TROLOLERT 8 points9 points ago

Right... Just like everything else that gets posted to this garbage sub.

[–]Fly_Caster 1 point2 points ago

This sub is getting worse everyday. About time to unsub.

[–]poobly 0 points1 point ago

We'll miss you!

[–]Stellar00 3 points4 points ago

Because /r/9gag is more like /r/imredditandthisisfunny

[–]NoDayzOff 51 points52 points ago

I'm 21 and some of it's still funny.......

[–]tehgoatman 6 points7 points ago

I'm 26 and get off my lawn!

[–]SenselessNoise 16 points17 points ago

I'm 28 and HNNNNGGGGG

[–]svullenballe 12 points13 points ago

I'm not a native English speaker but seeing "it's" used in this fashion seems really weird to me for some reason.

[–]EvengerX 20 points21 points ago

I am a native english speaker and this looks so wrong, but it so very right.

[–]asmadeous 11 points12 points ago

"I am a native english speaker and this looks so wrong, but it so very right."

  • but it so very right.

  • it -

*it is

[–]Malex_Wolf 8 points9 points ago

ie. "It's".

[–]chilldude24 8 points9 points ago

Yes, because you are not a native English speaker.

[–]OwDaditHurts 1 point2 points ago

I laughed more at the titles of the posts than the actual posts themselves.

[–]McWut 2 points3 points ago

[–]Lore86 14 points15 points ago

Too bad I'm 26 and I don't find this very funny... well I'll gonna make my own subreddit, with blackjack and hookers

[–]BackOfTheHearse 6 points7 points ago

[–]finch749 9 points10 points ago

In fact, forget the subreddit and the blackjack.

[–]mrmilf 8 points9 points ago

After spending 5minutes there, i am now worried for the future..

[–]spamato 18 points19 points ago

Seeing as it's likely populated by 16-20 year olds ripping on 14 year olds that dark future will be hear sooner than you think.

[–]The_Jacobian 14 points15 points ago

BUT WHAT IF I'M DEAF?

(Sorry).

[–]spamato 7 points8 points ago

I'll keep the typo just for you buddy.

[–]flinxsl 0 points1 point ago

The next generation sucks. My generation and all that came before me are immune to such problems.

[–]iiDurham 1 point2 points ago

I am 14... And none of that was actually funny...

[–]MCR260 2 points3 points ago

sigh Very ashamed of being 14.

[–]gingernick17 1 point2 points ago

7 of the top 10 links are purple for me, and I've never been to this subreddit before

[–]randomhero98 0 points1 point ago

The username of the only guy who posts on there is what made me laugh more than anything.

[–]Atheistus -4 points-3 points ago

this should be the new r/funny

[–]iama_XXL 211 points212 points ago

Welcome to middle school.

[–]Lilcheeks 32 points33 points ago

At least he was direct and didn't lead her on. Gotta admire that aspect of the rejection.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 3 points4 points ago

what grade is middle school?

[–]gurboura 1 point2 points ago

For American schools, it's grades 6 to 8, or in some cities/counties, it's grades 7 to 8, as some cities/counties include grade 6 as part of an elementary school.

[–]iEatPie 4 points5 points ago

Mine was 5-8. K-4 Elementary and 9-12 High School.

Guess I never asked anyone what grades were for Middle school, I actually learned something on Reddit today!

[–]gurboura 1 point2 points ago

Wow, that was early for middle school.

Our school districts in the area actually are thinking about extending elementary to 1-6, middle school being 7 and 8, making the 9th graders have their own campus to mature and then go to high school for 10-12.

[–]RebeccaMuffins 4 points5 points ago

7 and 8th

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 0 points1 point ago

so junior high?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Schools here used to call 7th and 8th grades "Junior High." Many in the area, including mine, were even connected to the high school. Eventually, they shifted everyone to a "Middle School" that included 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students.

I believe that's where CTRL_ALT_RAPE's confusion is coming from.

[–]patefoisgras 1 point2 points ago

Junior high is obviously 6, 7, and 8.

[–]SirLoinOfCow 1 point2 points ago

If that's true, my first year of junior high was still at the elementary school, and my first year of junior high was my second year at the junior high.

[–]iama_XXL 0 points1 point ago

If you have to ask, they're too young.

[–]mathetesc 1 point2 points ago

OH GOD THE AWFUL MEMORIES

[–]WarAndRuin -1 points0 points ago

As a senior in high school, I can say people are like this in high school too..

[–]YSCapital 185 points186 points ago

Posts like this make me even more convinced reddit is losing it's majority of people over 13 fast.

[–]ErsatzCats 38 points39 points ago

I propose we fill the front page with content that would be uninteresting to young ones, such as TIL's about the environment.

[–]WorkThrow99 35 points36 points ago

Protip to reduce your carbon footprint; go to the library and reread the classics by H.G.Wells.
UPBOAT IF YOU KNIT!

[–]Ze_Invisible_Man 3 points4 points ago

Hey, if you're looking for a Well's classic, I can recommend a pretty good one.

[–]naked_guy_says 3 points4 points ago

Don't hold out, what book do you recommend?

[–]Dynasty471 17 points18 points ago

Over 13? Shit, I want people to at least be able to drive.

[–]YSCapital 17 points18 points ago

Yeah, but lets be realistic. It's the internet.

Not to mention this 14 year old was prolific for the internet.

[–]addictiontometalurgy 8 points9 points ago

"Dude, your intelligence doesn't make you intelligent, your year of birth does"

[–]Dynasty471 12 points13 points ago

Your brain isn't fully developed at 13. When you actually get older, you will realize that you at 13 were pretty stupid.

[–]addictiontometalurgy 7 points8 points ago

I already realise that, looking back on past me I remember what an idiot I was, still I don't think age is enough to judge people. Everything across this thread is stupid stereotyping. I don't think you'd feel good if I wanted a certain site to be restricted to children because adults are too grumpy or some bullshit like that.

The fact that I'm pretty much a kid compared to most of reddit doesn't mean I'm a complete idiot that thinks bullshit like the OP is funny (IMO all facebook screenshots should be prohibited, it's essentially a back door to breaking the "no pictures of text" rule).

And the fact that you're older than me doesn't automatically make you smarter and more mature than me (you probably are, just saying your year of birth can't really show that).

[–]Dynasty471 1 point2 points ago

That's true that my age definitely doesn't make me more intelligent than you. Age, however, is still a very good indicator of intelligence in the earlier years. There are reasons for why kids aren't allowed to drink or drive or smoke. Are there exceptions to these stereotypes? Of course there are. That doesn't mean that it's a bad way to set certain restrictions.

Just because there are exceptions doesn't mean you toss out the rules. I know a girl that is 16 and has graduated college with a pre med and degree in international studies. That doesn't mean I think better of all 16 year olds, that just means I regard her as very intelligent.

[–]addictiontometalurgy 2 points3 points ago

It's one thing to prohibit drinking, driving and smoking since these activities are extremely dangerous for irresponsible people (a.k.a. the average child) since smoking and drinking are addictive, damage growth and can kill you, while driving can kill not only you but others around you, but prohibiting reddit to children is not a very good idea since the only thing it is is "addictive" in some cases, but still won't affect anything very much (unless you're a really, really, really dumb kid and natural selection takes over).

[–]Dynasty471 0 points1 point ago

I don't think it should be prohibited because there's really no good way to do that, and there are sub reddits for younger people, but then there are the 14 year olds in r/politics who just yell their opinions at you. I'm just saying on average, 13 year olds don't exactly have their priorities straight, so I prefer not to deal with them

[–]comicsansibar 0 points1 point ago

Hacker News welcomes you.

[–]justadude23 0 points1 point ago

If it helps, between the "look at me, I said I hate a reality TV star" gag and the "someone said yolo I don't want to live on this planet any more" meme pic, I'm convinced that we're gaining preteens and retired people at about the same rate.

[–]drunk_otter 792 points793 points ago

Justin just proved why he doesn't deserve a girlfriend.

[–]autodidact89 303 points304 points ago

I'm more disgusted by how many people liked his comment on top of that.

[–]manaworkin 42 points43 points ago

We don't really know the story. It's possible she is a really close friend or family member making a joke.

[–]Simba7 12 points13 points ago

Or an ex, and they had a horrible breakup, but now they're friendly again and joke about that sort of thing.

I came here hoping for context, got none, donwvoted to be safe! (Because let's be honest, shit like this doesn't belong here.)

[–]drunk_otter 255 points256 points ago

douche-bag has douche-bag friends - who knew?

[–]catsrus12 71 points72 points ago

Or it was just funny.

[–]drunk_otter 76 points77 points ago

But it wasn't. Being mean to other people without any other punchline isn't funny unless you're fucked up - if she was Sarah Jessica Parker and he'd said "Neigh" - yeah - that shit is bricks.

[–]dan_au 200 points201 points ago

Without any context we've no way to know if this was a good-natured joke between two close friends, or a guy being a dickhead. Jumping to conclusions is risky stuff.

[–]Jacosion 49 points50 points ago

I was going to say the same thing. Maybe he knows this girl, and maybe she is a bitch. You don't know.

[–]CowFu 35 points36 points ago

Might be his sister saying it as a joke.

[–]Jacosion 22 points23 points ago

That would be hilarious. I hope that's true.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 6 points7 points ago

But in reality, it would be very convenient.

[–]bigweiner 4 points5 points ago

INCEST!!!!!!

[–]not_sure_if_relevant 8 points9 points ago

Maybe it's an ex-girlfriend...

[–]Raballo 1 point2 points ago

Maybe she has herpes.

[–]drunk_otter 9 points10 points ago

sideways look

You know you're in /r/funny, right?

We're here for the punchlines, in-jokes and silly comments and not to have a serious discussion.

You know that, right?

[–]ifyouknowwhatimeanx 2 points3 points ago

Do you know that?

[–]akimbojack 11 points12 points ago

No they don't. R/funny is srs bizniz.

[–]Bukkitz 4 points5 points ago

Do not disturb the circlejerk. It might put you in a sticky situation.

[–]BuckeyeBentley 1 point2 points ago

She could even be his cousin or something, setting it up for the lulz.

[–]Watermeloncholy 2 points3 points ago

Sarah Jessica Parker is a real person too. So it's just ok to say that to her because she's famous?

[–]asshatnowhere 1 point2 points ago

maybe they are friends and are both laughing? or maybe this is fake just like every other fb post?

[–]felix45 -1 points0 points ago

you just made a bunch of neckbeards rage

[–]ablebodiedmango 8 points9 points ago

Because facebook statuses have not been faked before

[–]PM_Me_For_Drugs 2 points3 points ago

Don't waste your disgust, this screenshot is probably fake.

[–]theinvigorator 0 points1 point ago

I thought it was funny.

[–]bunsofcheese 11 points12 points ago

Maybe Breanna has cooties.

[–]DrLasagna 7 points8 points ago

You don't really know the context. That could be a friend of his, who is a girl, that always teases him or something.

[–]Breathing_Balls 14 points15 points ago

Mind you, everyone knows Breanna smells of shit. Can't blame him really.

[–]innosins 0 points1 point ago

By saying no to one person? Yeah, that doesn't really prove much.

[–]CallMeAnEngineer 0 points1 point ago

He obviously is not desperate enough.

[–]Micawel 1 point2 points ago

We dont know about these two, maybe it's his ex and she was mean. Maybe she already ask out and he already rejected her. We dont know, so we dont have to judge.

[–]JumpinOnThingsIsFun 40 points41 points ago

Dear Breanna,

I'm afraid you being my girlfriend is unsuitable for me at the present time and therefore do not accept your offer. I do hope you're not dishearted by this ... rejection.

Best wishes, Justin.

[–]HOZZENATOR 30 points31 points ago

Tl;dr - No.

[–]patefoisgras 7 points8 points ago

Dishearted

Sounds rather painful.

[–]BallroomKritz 70 points71 points ago

Guy rejects girl: "OMG everyone on Reddit is 14!!" Girl rejects guy: "OMG what a friendzoning bitch!!

[–]themanfromreddit 50 points51 points ago

Those are both replies a 14-year-old would give. Just saying.

[–]Schroedingers_gif 5 points6 points ago

Sounds about right, yeah.

[–]Abstinence_kills 2 points3 points ago

Like that one time this picture got to the front page or something.

It was a guy tying some girl's shoe. She was in a really tight dress and couldn't bend over.

Obviously the title was something like "friendzone level infinityandbeyond" or "look at this friendzoned motherfucker" and the comments weren't any better.

[–]LowSociety 22 points23 points ago

Fucking friend zoning fucker.

[–]BendTime 2 points3 points ago

I see what you did there.

[–]kyzfrintin 1 point2 points ago

What exactly did he do there?

[–]BendTime 9 points10 points ago

Men/boys here on reddit complain a lot about being friend zoned, to the point of blaming the girl, like the girl is mean or some bitch for friend zoning them (or in other words simply angry at the girl for not liking them, and just wanting to be friends ie the friend zone).

What LowSociety did was flip the genders around. And he's right.

[–]kyzfrintin -1 points0 points ago

I know what friend-zoning is.

He didn't flip the genders around... The boy friend-zoned the girl, and that's what LowSociety said.

[–]BendTime 3 points4 points ago

Sorry explained it wrong. LowSociety didn't flip it around with that comment. He was pointing out the absurdity of saying it, in a situation of boy - girl. He was making the point that people are so quick to pounce and call friend zone when a girl does something like this to a guy. But reddit is often quiet when it's the guy doing it to the girl.

[–]kyzfrintin 5 points6 points ago

And then you fuckers go and complain about being friend-zoned.

Behold, almighty proof that 'friend-zoning' doesn't only happen to guys.

[–]fancy_pance 29 points30 points ago

[–]InternetFree 16 points17 points ago

2/10 Would Not Bang

[–]j-hook 3 points4 points ago

Say no to friend-zoning you asshole.

[–]LittleCucumber 38 points39 points ago

What a douche.

[–]matt01ss 10 points11 points ago

Andrew, can we take another vote on banning FB crap from r/funny??

[–]silverence 8 points9 points ago

I can't BELIEVE that didn't pass.... I had one shining moment of hope for the future of reddit, dashed by votes of thousands of middle-schoolers. I think that this is one of those times where there is an oppression by the majority, and democracy needs to be ignored, as what is right clearly isn't what's popular.

[–]matt01ss 2 points3 points ago

Sadly I didn't even see the vote until it was already over. There are facebook subreddits for that type of screencap stuff, they don't need to be here.

[–]silverence 1 point2 points ago

Yes. I agree whole-heartedly. I would love all these facebooks screen caps to be in their proper subreddits which I could gleefully and proudly never consider subscribing to.

Yeah, once in a while there will be a funny facebook screen cap, but the overwhelming majority of them are terrible. Enough so that they should be wholly banned.

[–]matt01ss 1 point2 points ago

I did setup RES filters for keywords of "facebook" and "[FB]" so it helps filter out a few posts.

[–]silverence 0 points1 point ago

... I don't have RES. This alone may be the deciding factor in installing it.

[–]matt01ss 0 points1 point ago

I find that RES and HoverZoom is the only way to browse reddit.

[–]silverence 0 points1 point ago

I definitely need to look into those.

[–]steenarie 10 points11 points ago

You need some standards.

[–]Dick_Serious 10 points11 points ago

I think I'm about done with this site... If I wanted to hang out with 13 year olds I'd go back to grade school.

[–]jnethery 2 points3 points ago

Just unsub from the defaults.

[–]Dankycheese 6 points7 points ago

Someone is 14

[–]Erythroy 2 points3 points ago

Probably. Somewhere.

[–]silverence 4 points5 points ago

Fuck this. Keep this shit on facebook where it belongs, child.

[–]chocolate_homunculus 3 points4 points ago

LE FRIENDZONED

[–]deadfermata 11 points12 points ago

That is so mean. Screw that kid.

[–]Leadmeister 10 points11 points ago

What a genuine dickhead

[–]Miss_Bee 6 points7 points ago

My 13-year-old brother, omg. His past few facebook posts have gone like this:

"hey grl, I luv u 4evr"

"Sorry I had to brake up with u, grl. It really hurts me to."

10 minutes later: "date or pass. inbox me!"

[–]Thor4269 1 point2 points ago

ah how i dont miss myspace for this exact reason

[–]Lykii 1 point2 points ago

Next facebook status update: "What a bitch, can't believe I got friendzoned!"

[–]dhoomsday 2 points3 points ago

I thought this was gonna be an old school Don Hertzfeldt cartoon.

[–]Shaman_Van_Dour 0 points1 point ago

I love Don Hertzfeldt. Billy's Balloon was awesome too.

[–]accountt1234 1 point2 points ago

I can't imagine this getting 975 upvotes if the genders had been reversed.

[–]saralikescookies 2 points3 points ago

So it's okay for guys to do it but when women pull the same move it makes us mega bitches? It's a dick move by everyone...

[–]ElectronicDrug 8 points9 points ago

No

[–]SmokinSickStylish 5 points6 points ago

"Friend zoned, fuken biches!"

Yeah, I know what you mean, it's a shame that you got downvoted. I suppose you have to be downvoted if others want to live in their dual-standard bubble.

[–]fistfcuk 6 points7 points ago

um, the comment with the most upvotes is

Justin just proved why he doesn't deserve a girlfriend.

[–]SmokinSickStylish 1 point2 points ago

Does that make saralikescookies deserve downvotes?

[–]N0V0w3ls -1 points0 points ago

So it's okay for guys...

This is wrong. He or she was making an incorrect statement about how the community was reacting.

[–]kevin1608 2 points3 points ago

No it's a dick move regardless of gender.

[–]jnethery -1 points0 points ago

I don't think it's wrong when men or women do it. Rejecting someone's advances isn't wrong. The whole "friendzone" mentality is retarded beyond my comprehension.

[–]Horong 1 point2 points ago

No, no it's not okay.

[–]KToff 2 points3 points ago

Asshole move but funny.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DrRedditPhD 1 point2 points ago

It's a Facebook capture. It's valid. If he wrote out a block in Word and screencapped it rather than self-posting, you'd have a case.

[–]Ottoboy 0 points1 point ago

at first I was like :D but then I was :| ... :/

[–]Dankycheese 1 point2 points ago

Seriously, how does this shit get upvoted?

[–]bcouri 0 points1 point ago

Beggars can't be choosers

[–]Zarlon 0 points1 point ago

Sigh... No wonder he's single. The proper move here is to start flirting openly with Breanna to make the hot girls jealous

[–]voidptr 1 point2 points ago

So, is this the part where I point out that girls get rejected too?

[–]iTimmeh 0 points1 point ago

[–]HelloHombre 0 points1 point ago

It's funny you guys feel bad for the girl yet you don't know a thing about her. She could be the neighborhood bicycle or his cheating ex gf. The guy might've done the right thing. Over sensitive mafackas.

[–]aesamattki 0 points1 point ago

I just unsubscribed. Thanks for pushing me over the edge OP.

[–]melysaurusrex 0 points1 point ago

And you can go home.

[–]iTzm3 0 points1 point ago

this isn't /r/funny. this is /r/rude.

[–]alan1013 0 points1 point ago

Or maybe Breanna is a dude!!! You mever know!

[–]IrrelevantLeprechaun 0 points1 point ago

Dunno why, but I think Breanna is such a hot name...

[–]LordOfGummies 0 points1 point ago

Wow... just... wow.

[–]ch1ck3nch4s3r 0 points1 point ago

What if he already knew her and didn't want her as a girlfriend? Surely that's better than just shagging some random lass?

[–]NightChimp 0 points1 point ago

Funny if it's not you.

[–]Bar_Har 0 points1 point ago

I just like this because it proves that a guy saying he wants a girlfriend does not mean he's desperate.

[–]Eddyoshi 0 points1 point ago

ha ha

[–]reneepussman 0 points1 point ago

Fake and gay.

[–]cindreiaishere 0 points1 point ago

I really don't see what everyone is freaking out about? First of all, even if the context is exactly what it looks like, his response is better than stringing her along and she posted her response in a public context meaning she was consenting to public comment. He was not harassing her he just said no. Also we don't even know the context of this exchange.

[–]ryder77 0 points1 point ago

I'm not sure what else he was supposed to say. He didn't say ew or insult her at all.

[–]VoltageEclipse 0 points1 point ago

SHUTDOWN!

[–]Omnominable 0 points1 point ago

And Adam saw that they shone even brighter than their white brothers. He would call them Silver Knights, and it was good.

[–]Gravesh 0 points1 point ago

That fucking asshole. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

[–]marsrover001 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't' matter what the mantel looks like when you're poking the fire.

[–]CreeperTaabi -1 points0 points ago

It would be nice with a ashton meme "BURN"!!

[–]biggles86 1 point2 points ago

she must be breanna of tarth

[–]RacquetReborn 1 point2 points ago

Though she's a homely wench beyond compare, I hear she's worth her weight in sapphires.

[–]biggles86 0 points1 point ago

so long as you do no harm to her

[–]SGTSHOOTnMISS 0 points1 point ago

Isn't this a guy putting a girl in the friendzone? Yes, we can be assholes too. Yep, sucks when you realize someone wanted to be with you and you were too much of a dick to realize it.

[–]azncuteo 0 points1 point ago

[–]HYPERCRUSHER 0 points1 point ago

i guess beggars CAN be choosers

[–]mod_Urn_Man 0 points1 point ago

Well i just laughed way more than i should have.

[–]bunglejerry -1 points0 points ago

And who says the youth of today are ineloquent?

[–]RazZaHlol -4 points-3 points ago

At least he is honest

[–]OnceUponTheCross -2 points-1 points ago

I just imagined him saying it like this!

[–]butterscotchripple -2 points-1 points ago

Facebook is for idiot children and mentally challenged adults.

[–]schattenteufel 0 points1 point ago

The same could be said for Reddit... or most of the rest of the internet.

[–]Sandvicheater -1 points0 points ago

At least it wasn't ah hells no.