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top 200 commentsshow all 404

[–]sleepyworm 526 points527 points ago

Oh, grow up. I'm straight, but if I can bring myself to fuck a girl in the butthole, I'm sure you can bring yourself to fuck a man in the vagina.

[–]OneCello 146 points147 points ago

Wait what

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 91 points92 points ago

He said OP needs to get in there and fuck that dude's pussy.

[–]Midn1ghtwhisp3r 75 points76 points ago

He's not gay, this: http://i.imgur.com/yi9gF.jpg was a past post he made. Also, Perhaps his "boyfriends" vagina does look like this and he's simply elaborating?

[–]epiLoL 98 points99 points ago

He's just a karma whore

[–]SecretCobraz 59 points60 points ago

OP is a faggot

[–]fuckyourcouchplease 29 points30 points ago

[–]Rollondger 11 points12 points ago

FIRE THE DOWN VOTES!

[–]SecretCobraz 11 points12 points ago

[–]intertron1 6 points7 points ago

As an African American this is what I thought a Vagina looked like (NSFW).

[–]Megawatts19 4 points5 points ago

Jesus Christ that's terrifying!!!

[–]Atheist_are_a_theory 9 points10 points ago

She is holding the light saber that was jammed up his ass.

[–]the1nonlyevilelmo 2 points3 points ago

I came here thinking I had a good response. I have been outclassed, bravo fair nobleman.

[–]I_brew_too 24 points25 points ago

Being gay, I'm pretty sure you have no idea what the fuck a vagina looks like.

[–]GreenDayWaffles 78 points79 points ago

ALASKAN BULL WOOOOOORM!!!

[–]flip4pie 37 points38 points ago

[–]intertron1 -1 points0 points ago

RAWR (NSFW).

[–]theyalwaysfindout 0 points1 point ago

You're my hero.

[–]korralover 17 points18 points ago

What do you think the butthole looks like, an inverted chocolate cupcake?

[–]USAFPilot 137 points138 points ago

I'm confused... I'm straight, and I'm not scared of penises/honestly don't mind them at all. Just don't feel like sucking on them or having them inserted into me. Do gay people really have a strange aversion to vaginas?

Edit: I realize I'm asking a serious question in a non-serious post. But I've seen this before/overheard gay people talk about how gross and scary vaginas are.

[–]DeviouslyIdling 70 points71 points ago

As a gay male not scared of female genitalia, I can confirm that some of the gays do indeed fear it. It seems irrational and over the top to me personally, but I've seen it enough to say that it's definitely a thing.

[–]ilestledisko 24 points25 points ago

I'm a straight lady, and vaginas freak me out. I'm not scared of them exactly, but I wouldn't want one around my face.

[–]racoonpeople 92 points93 points ago

Sometimes I wake up my BF by carefully positioning myself over his face, grabbing either side of my mons pubis and start gesticulating my vulva so it looks like a mouth moving while I talk really loudly in my Mr. Ed voice.

[–]creepyeyes 44 points45 points ago

Clearly,by being single I'm missing out on a lot.

[–]fatmalcontent 13 points14 points ago

You sound like the best girlfriend ever. Seriously.

[–]mynoduesp 15 points16 points ago

I think I will have new and interesting nightmares tonight.

[–]cottonheadedninnymug 2 points3 points ago

You mean interesting wet dreams?

[–]CheapBastid 6 points7 points ago

If I weren't married, I'd ask you to marry me.

[–]rxshea 6 points7 points ago

vaginaphobia +1

[–]Esc4p3 4 points5 points ago

Whats even happening?

[–]kwillson 1 point2 points ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

[–]qrd 2 points3 points ago

I read 'mons' as 'moms' and it was not good.

[–]AYellowFix 3 points4 points ago

I did too!

[–]Klacksaft 2 points3 points ago

What was his reaction the first time you did that?

[–]vers_le_haut_bateau 7 points8 points ago

Well, you know how gay people are, everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

http://humarashid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/1eukao.gif

[–]strngblckwmn 6 points7 points ago

Another gay guy here -- I wasn't scared of vaginas until I started visiting Reddit and reading about forgotten tampons. Nope.

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

As a gay male not scared of female genitalia, I can confirm that some of the gays do indeed fear it. It seems irrational and over the top to me personally, but I've seen it enough to say that it's definitely a thing.

As a gay male myself the idea of a vagina - eeeeewwww, icky, girls have cooties!

[–]TheGreatSzalam 101 points102 points ago

You're not frightened of penises because you have one attached to you. Remember the mystique that the vagina used to have for you as a young man? Now add to that the fact that you really don't want it, but everybody in your life is trying to get you to put your wiener in it.

[–]LightGrenade 30 points31 points ago

everybody in your life is trying to get you to put your wiener in it.

lol

[–]patmcdoughnut 11 points12 points ago

Is there some kind of extra innuendo here that I'm missing? The conversation was already about vaginas, what could possibly be more funny about that sentence?

[–]RyanMockery 17 points18 points ago

Combination of 14 year old pysche and the word wiener and put it in.

[–]LightGrenade 0 points1 point ago

It's because that statement out of context is funny.

[–]albinomike 2 points3 points ago

I think he is laughing at the idea that every girl he has met wants his dick.

[–]psytrancedsquid 6 points7 points ago

I have a gay friend who only watches straight porn. He cant stand gay porn. I have always thought that was a little bit strange.

[–]capgetsreal 8 points9 points ago

I know a lesbian who won't watch lesbian porn because it's just too fake/isn't really like how it happens. Could be the same thing with your friend.

[–]Staple_Sauce 8 points9 points ago

A couple years ago our gay floormate was visiting our suite, and he walked into the bathroom without knocking first because he didn't think anyone was in there. My roommate was getting changed. 3 seconds later, he screams "BOOBIES!!!!" and runs out of the suite with his hands over his eyes.

I don't understand, but it was funny as hell to watch.

[–]simon_C 3 points4 points ago

Its a joke.

[–]zShwagg -1 points0 points ago

Let me just say this: sometimes when I look at vaginas I think "it must be like fucking a slab of lukewarm meat covered in juices". That honestly doesn't appeal to me. Now I may be wrong in saying that, but either way I personally like a penis better.

[–]FuchsiaGauge 41 points42 points ago

It's always so obnoxious when grown gay men act like fucking children and scream "Ewww, vaginas are gross!". It's a body part. Get over it.

[–]holyvinyl 7 points8 points ago

As a gay man, I agree.

[–]ma_miya 9 points10 points ago

couldn't agree more.

[–]tromboneham 28 points29 points ago

[–]nssone 6 points7 points ago

Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata!

[–]Amazonearl 6 points7 points ago

Oh god... I have to watch this. How have I not known about this?!

[–]doesnt_really_upvote 11 points12 points ago

I haven't seen the movie and it sounds pretty dumb, but the blacked out text makes it sound like it has some subtlety to it, which is refreshing. I hate that almost all movies feel the need to explain EVERYTHING. Sometimes just suggesting things is better.

[–]Original_Woody 4 points5 points ago

On the opposite end of that spectrum, you get movies like Prometheus

[–]srika 3 points4 points ago

The more I think about it, the more I feel that 'Prometheus' was one majorly confused movie. It just cannot decide if it wants to be directly related to the 'Alien' franchise, or if it wanted to create its own mythology.

Why the hell do events on LV223 and LV426 strangely parallel each other. Or do the stories intersect?

And most importantly, just tell me the fucking story. I cannot fit such huge gaps from my imagination, just tell me already.

[–]traplines[!] 7 points8 points ago

It's a really enjoyable movie, assuming you enjoy B-movie horror. It's no Killer Condom, but it'll do in a pinch.

[–]Amazonearl 2 points3 points ago

omg, I couldn't even make it through the entire trailer for that. Now I have two more silly movies to watch.

[–]traplines[!] 4 points5 points ago

I actually love Killer Condom. The trailer was put together by Troma, who distributed it in the states, so it looks like every weird no-budget Z-movie they've ever put out, but Killer Condom is actually bizarrely good - H.R. Giger consulted on it, and it's got a really interesting LGBT-positive plot.

[–]Amazonearl 0 points1 point ago

interesting.

[–]Mynci 2 points3 points ago

It's gonna be on IFC tonight, if you have that channel.

[–]Mindle 6 points7 points ago

It is actually a pretty good movie.

[–]Lenticularis 22 points23 points ago

Who up-votes this garbage?

[–]PwnRanger 66 points67 points ago

You've got this all wrong. The vagina is a beautiful flower. Or a pile of roast beef. Sometimes it's roast beef.

[–]MeSoCornyyy 41 points42 points ago

As a gay man that loves roast beef. Fuck you.

[–]762headache 2 points3 points ago

Room to body temperature based on the lip level. Best to check with your face.

[–]mrlithid 81 points82 points ago

Being straight, little more teeth and looks like we have a winner.

[–]PorchMonkeyKike 55 points56 points ago

But that's the vagina dentata.

[–]GalaxyAwesome 77 points78 points ago

What a wonderful phrase!

[–]pickanotherusername 43 points44 points ago

It means no more sex, for the rest of your days.

[–]WiscoGingo 36 points37 points ago

It's our coitus free Philosophy!

[–]Bulletspawn 22 points23 points ago

Vagina dentata!

[–]ChicagoMike 21 points22 points ago

It means no weiner
for the rest of your days ...
It's a penis-free
girl cavity ...
Vagina dentata!
[source]

[–]Jsiw1017 5 points6 points ago

This is why I love Reddit. Flawless victory. All day, everyday.

[–]IHazMagics 0 points1 point ago

I'm also straight but slightly bicurious and back up this statement.

[–]wickedalmond 22 points23 points ago

Haha guys I'm gay. Hey guys, look at me, I'm gay. Hahaha I don't know what a vagina looks like. HEY GUYS, DAE GAY? HAHAHAHAHA

[–]LiveFreeFratHard 19 points20 points ago

Are gay guys really "scared" of vaginas? I don't understand how this could even be a real thing.

[–]A_Cat_ 8 points9 points ago

not really...

[–]DNAsly 18 points19 points ago

Sounds like you're not gay. Sounds like you have a debilitating phobia.

[–]BlueBird518 19 points20 points ago

To quote Easy A.... "What do you think we have down there, a gnome?"

[–]museumsarewonderful 21 points22 points ago

“I don’t use the word cunt as an insult. It’s a very misused word. It’s supposed to mean “vagina” which I don’t think works at all…because vagina’s are so sweet, they’re pretty things with little flowery petaly lips and I hear a piccolo in my head every time I see a vagina. Vagina is too harsh of a word. They should be called something like, “Falalalalalala!” There should be a butterfly fluttering around a vagina at all times. You go to the Doctor and he says, “Well, your butterfly looks good so we’re on good shape.” How do you look at something THAT PRETTY and say, “That’s a CUNT!” That doesn’t fit at all. Maybe if it was a giant vagina and it was attacking a town and throwing buses and knocking over telephone poles…then you would be in the place to say, “Someone shoot that cunt with a bazooka! It’s gonna step on the candy store!” —

Louis C.K.

[–]cjkimx 38 points39 points ago

It only looks that way one week out of the month!!!

[–]twilly13 11 points12 points ago

Straight male here, can confirm

[–]sprinktron 40 points41 points ago

What a progressive and wonderful place reddit is! Where gay and straight men alike can come together and celebrate their hatred of women.

[–]Pack_of_derms 52 points53 points ago

Gynophobia is as funny as homophobia.

[–]stussy-one 22 points23 points ago

Being gay is no excuse for being stupid/ignorant.

[–]Attican 33 points34 points ago

Oh, a gay man who is afraid of vaginas, how individual of you.

[–]PeppermintEnt 4 points5 points ago

That cake is fucking horrifying

[–]Ganondude 5 points6 points ago

Horrifying is fucking that cake.

[–]toodrunktofuck 5 points6 points ago

I sincerely believe that a good portion of those who state that they are gay on reddit in fact aren't.

[–]BeerPowered 14 points15 points ago

No, that's a cake.

[–]gravey727 10 points11 points ago

Uneducated dickhead

[–]what_comes_after_q 19 points20 points ago

Being gay, you have a pretty poor understanding of human anatomy.

[–]Bosticles 4 points5 points ago

Poop doesn't come out of a vagina. Checkmate gay people..

[–]PatATC 9 points10 points ago

Yes I much rather prefer a disgusting anus with reminents of fecal matter and god knows what kind of bacteria and disease.

[–]BuffaloBounce 15 points16 points ago

Let me get this straight, OP likes to put his dick in a shit-hole, but the hole from which he made his debut into this world is perceived as terrifying.

I dare OP to post a picture of his genitals to r/aww. Surely the Internet will validate its cuteness.

[–]pompoms[!] 35 points36 points ago

As if women need more reasons to feel negative about their bodies. The comments in here are ridiculous.

[–]BlueBird518 15 points16 points ago

I was thinking the same thing right as I got to your comment. Cheers for saying it!

[–]EmptyAndFrantic 9 points10 points ago

If you're scared of genitals, you probably need to grow up. Or your under age twelve.

[–]01-811-8055 4 points5 points ago

gay man or gay woman? it make a difference to how i read the statement.

[–]chopp3r 3 points4 points ago

My Wilton School of Cake Decorating & Confectionary ArtTM teacher is rolling in her grave.

[–]theymustneverknow 3 points4 points ago

Heck, same here, I'm a heterosexual man, and I don't even know what a dick looks like.

[–]TortillaMask 2 points3 points ago

What the fuck do you have down there, then?

[–]tiny_cube 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, same with me and butt holes. Except there is less teeth and more poo and disease.

[–]lsetten 9 points10 points ago

If you think a vagina looks like that then you are just fucking stupid, whether gay or not.

[–]Garzaster 12 points13 points ago

I'm pretty sure, if vaginas did look like that, women wouldn't have to worry about rape or misogyny.

[–]hasalovelyvagina 8 points9 points ago

I disagree.

[–]Hexarage 11 points12 points ago

words cannot explain how badly I want to punch you right now!

[–]rockemsockemrobot 4 points5 points ago

Hahahaha, man, I wish it tasted like cake.

[–]Cosmicpixie 19 points20 points ago

Oh good, we don't just get this horseshit from straight men, we get body-shaming from gay men, too! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you people. Grow the fuck up.

[–]apostrophie 11 points12 points ago

That's exactly how mine looks.

[–]Knewtworiddet 7 points8 points ago

It's a good thing I'm into massive vagina dentata then, huh?

[–]apostrophie 10 points11 points ago

Call me. ;)

[–]IHeartSoup 20 points21 points ago

you're obviously retarded then.

[–]dafishy 5 points6 points ago

Yeah what a faggot

[–]K3rfknpwnly 2 points3 points ago

And yet, for some reason, it feels soooooo good.

[–]fatjello 2 points3 points ago

I look forward to eating it.

[–]Mike_davvy 2 points3 points ago

nope they look awesome and feel just like anal does so your aren't missing much

[–]gamer94212 2 points3 points ago

risky click if there ever was one

[–]fivefun 2 points3 points ago

[–]FartMagnet 2 points3 points ago

Being ugly, I guess I will take your word for it

[–]meriadocdog 2 points3 points ago

Being gay, I probably know more about vaginas than most straight men.

[–]HolePuncher3 0 points1 point ago

Hahahahahaha. Spot on!!

[–]Crofty44 2 points3 points ago

Being straight, I'd fuck that.

[–]emann43 0 points1 point ago

Closely resembles a Sarlaac pit. Seems legit.

[–]HikaruYagami 2 points3 points ago

Only once a month

[–]oRyan_the_Hunter -1 points0 points ago

He's not... entirely incorrect. Vagina definitely seems that way to my wallet.

[–]snarkhunter 2 points3 points ago

I'm straight. You're right. And I really want to fuck that cake.

[–]sraolson -1 points0 points ago

Ok, I'm not trying to be a dick just because your gay, but you need to listen here boyo. I don't know who you think you are with your...Nancy Drew style vagina dodging homosexuality. I mean...I'm straight as hell, I love the pussy. I tear it up...Gangnam Style, but yeah thats pretty much exactly what a vagina looks like.

[–]kpin 6 points7 points ago

Well, they sure do look better than another mans anus. I think they taste better, too.

[–]chewtality 2 points3 points ago

You obviously have some experience tasting men's anus's.

[–]CatalystParadox 3 points4 points ago

It IS a delicious cake...

[–]Jits_Guy 3 points4 points ago

Okay OP, try to stay with me here...it looks like that right? But imagine how that CAKE tastes, if someone went through all the trouble to intricately decorate it like that you bet your gay ass it's gonna be delicious.

It's a case of 'don't judge a book by its cover'.

[–]iDirtyDianaX 4 points5 points ago

Oh, dude you are so off xD A vagina looks nothing like a cake.

[–]Gedelgo 3 points4 points ago

This is the artist Scott Hove, if anyone is interested.

[–]Jockstrap_Muncher 4 points5 points ago

Nope, that's a male a-hole.

[–]Snuggadillo 10 points11 points ago

Says... Someone named the 'Jockstrap_Muncher'?

[–]fubuger 0 points1 point ago

Why no pubes?

[–]MeSoCornyyy 10 points11 points ago

Has pubes in your cake ever been a good thing?

[–]monathebeatnik 2 points3 points ago

My vagina hurts from looking at that.

[–]entologist 1 point2 points ago

What the hell does an asshole look like then?

[–]sooves 0 points1 point ago

Bitch.

[–]sexypanda915 2 points3 points ago

Oh please. As a female I can tell you that that's not accurate at all. There not NEARLY enough teeth on that wimpy thing.

[–]k1t73n -1 points0 points ago

Hey! Only during the full moon!

[–]waffleezz 3 points4 points ago

I'd fuck it.

[–]johnnysbigday -4 points-3 points ago

This is also what a vagina looks to a straight man .03 milliseconds after ejaculating.

[–]MeSoCornyyy 18 points19 points ago

I think you might be gay dude

[–]GIFTH0RSE -1 points0 points ago

Okay..

[–]IAMA_Ghost_Boo -1 points0 points ago

You obviously haven't seen the porn I have!

[–]Morken 1 point2 points ago

The cake may still be good

[–]ChopandChange -1 points0 points ago

[–]setzer_ 1 point2 points ago

Being straight, I wish I could think of vagina's like this. My life would be much better.

[–]Rhyno001 1 point2 points ago

that. is. terrifying.

[–]anonimyus 1 point2 points ago

I am straight, and would do at least 3 different things to that cake.

[–]ZMush 1 point2 points ago

Teeth.

[–]JamaicanHopscotchM 1 point2 points ago

Just go watch the movie "Teeth".

[–]Bicuddly 1 point2 points ago

It's uncanny

[–]Zaphrod 1 point2 points ago

Spot on

[–]Pyrotechnic_Popcorn 1 point2 points ago

Only on Sundays.

[–]uSeeWhatiDidThere 1 point2 points ago

I'm straight and I don't even know what one looks like...

[–]gurl_you_funny 1 point2 points ago

you watched that movie "Teeth" didn't you?

[–]ZetaRedditor 1 point2 points ago

My biggest question is why would that cake ever need to be made

[–]Croyt 1 point2 points ago

As least its not a hard appendage that spits acid down your throat. That's how I imagine penises.

[–]maxine114 0 points1 point ago

Oh, that's why my panties are ripped apart all the time.

[–]Eekafreak 1 point2 points ago

Looks scary, yet tastes great!!

[–]clucl3 1 point2 points ago

Thats exactly right

[–]errday 1 point2 points ago

I'd still eat it

[–]sirius_star 1 point2 points ago

And that's exactly what barfed you up so you could complain. Get back in there.

[–]Chessiecat -1 points0 points ago

Only in the deep south...

[–]melendy_mongo 1 point2 points ago

I was going to say you nailed it, but obviously not.

[–]mofonatic 1 point2 points ago

meh close enough.

[–]Danzaemon 1 point2 points ago

It's a funny photo, but apparently OP hates his mother.

[–]seanlax5 1 point2 points ago

I think this might taste a little better

[–]connonym 1 point2 points ago

More teeth though

[–]KITTOx 1 point2 points ago

... I think getting that cake might have been the reason why you turned gay in the first place.

[–]SargeMacLethal 0 points1 point ago

Ever heard of pornography, mate?

[–]DownWithIMGUR 1 point2 points ago

It's near.

[–]Girolmao -1 points0 points ago

You pussy.

[–]Scherzkeks 2 points3 points ago

You're a terrible lesbian.

[–]OEFvet 1 point2 points ago

It's like that only if she's crazy.

[–]IICanuckII 1 point2 points ago

À butthole looks like what then?

[–]pizzafache 1 point2 points ago

It tastes way worse than it looks

[–]Nagus_Maximus420 0 points1 point ago

You're correct!!

[–]bigbadfox 1 point2 points ago

Yep. That's about right.

[–]dchaosdx -1 points0 points ago

dude, nsfw tag please. vagina caek will get me fired from my jerb.

[–]ForerEffect 1 point2 points ago

Being pretty sure this is what a vagina looks like, I'm gay.

[–]GreenDayWaffles -1 points0 points ago

Really?

[–]AnneGwish 1 point2 points ago

Spot on, good sir.

[–]ashtonishing18 1 point2 points ago

Lmfao. Not too far off.

[–]NecDW4 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, pretty close: http://youtu.be/yH8yuld4DUE

[–]chimericallegend 1 point2 points ago

Being straight, I'm pretty sure this is what a vagina looks like.

[–]Dudedood 0 points1 point ago

What if he is just saying he's gay and insulting vaginas so he can get PM'd pictures of girls trying to prove him wrong?! WHAT IF?!

[–]infinitee775 0 points1 point ago

as a straight man I'm pretty sure you couldn't be more wrong

[–]bolomcspank 0 points1 point ago

Why are gay people afraid of vaginas

[–]allurbase17 1 point2 points ago

OP is a faggot.