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all 177 comments

[–]ogotrice 525 points526 points ago

"You think pussy is your ally? I was born in it..."

[–]salmoneric 88 points89 points ago

I didn't see pussy until I was already a man!

[–]I_have_a_dog 17 points18 points ago

And by then it was nothing but hairy!

[–]allofthefuckgiven 0 points1 point ago

Oooooo

[–]KookyGuy 119 points120 points ago

I didn't see the light until I was one day old.

[–]moose_man 177 points178 points ago

NINE MONTHS! C'mon, man, the joke was right there.

[–]KookyGuy 44 points45 points ago

I wasn't aware those nine months counted as your age.

[–]moose_man 32 points33 points ago

True, but it's less technical than one day old, and nine months has the association with babies built in.

[–]KookyGuy 24 points25 points ago

Reddit will decide.

[–]moose_man 34 points35 points ago

gladiator music

[–]digitalbowtie 30 points31 points ago

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?

[–]Shellface 24 points25 points ago

guy with jeans in the background

[–]livefreeordont 23 points24 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/fbaUR.jpg

i guess they just didnt give a fuck because he sticks out pretty badly

[–]zzoyx1 0 points1 point ago

Spaniard!

[–]phliuy 6 points7 points ago

He did say he was born in it, indicating that it should be

[–]KookyGuy 3 points4 points ago

Touche.

[–]The_Eclectic_Stoic 2 points3 points ago

This is how abortion arguements start.

[–]14ldouglass[S] 2 points3 points ago

Shhh! The Republicans will hear you!

[–]SpeakingPegasus -1 points0 points ago

Republican's can't read

[–]Miceli123 2 points3 points ago

I've heard (not certain; never been there) that until recently, it was traditional in China to calculate age from birth as none months...meaning that your "one year birthday" was three months after you were born.

[–]CowabungaDood 7 points8 points ago

You win this thread.

[–]txn9 -1 points0 points ago

yes 

[–]Not_really_Spartacus 0 points1 point ago

/thread

[–]xNinjahz 0 points1 point ago

Saw this image I laughed my ass off. Saw this comment and completely lost my shit.

[–]rend0ggy 0 points1 point ago

I have never laughed at anything of r/adviceanimals

[–]burntsoup 0 points1 point ago

" Your pussy betrays you!"

[–]headcrusher9 0 points1 point ago

"You merely adopted the pussy when you were already a man..."

[–]klanus -2 points-1 points ago

I love your comment

[–]Ramyth -3 points-2 points ago

I didn't see the light until i was already a baby

[–]lllllllillllllllllll 135 points136 points ago

Who the hell wears those kind of shirts anyway? If I had a vagina, I'd be embarrassed as well to walk around in something like that

[–]abbygirl 192 points193 points ago

If you wore a shirt like that, but instead said "I have the penis, I make the rules" you would be called a sexist pig.

[–]Akiba89 82 points83 points ago

In a heartbeat

[–]TheVetrinarian 76 points77 points ago

but history would agree with you

[–]zuulthedestroyer 65 points66 points ago

Unfortunately I don't live in history.

[–]bstone99 27 points28 points ago

you are history

[–]NotRichBarr 31 points32 points ago

You will be history.

[–]WhatsAEuphonium 13 points14 points ago

you could be history

[–]paradoksikal 8 points9 points ago

But you're on reddit.

[–]scorpion347 0 points1 point ago

We are now important enough to be on the campaign trail.

[–]WhatsAEuphonium 0 points1 point ago

Which can only mean...

This must be a dream.

[–]NotKennyG 12 points13 points ago

Not quite. Those who made the rules had penises, but this doesn't mean having a penis enabled you to make the rules. The rules have always been made by the wealthy and the privileged, which still rules out 99% of penis-owners.

Rich women have traditionally had far more privilege than poor men. The common denominator here is privilege, not gender.

[–]OomnyChelloveck 9 points10 points ago

Fine, "I have money, I make the rules."

I'm buying that shirt, and I will pay no less than $3,141,592.65 for it.

[–]a_s_h_e_n 1 point2 points ago

That's a lot of pie.

[–]buckhenderson 5 points6 points ago

i dunno. i've always found it weird that black men in the us were given the right to vote before white women. when i was talking about this with a friend, he just thought that people (or men, maybe) are more inherently sexist than racist.

[–]NotKennyG 3 points4 points ago

Keep in mind that non-property owners only got the right to vote 20 years before black people did. Up until 1850, there were property and tax requirements for voting which meant many lower class white men could not vote either.

I'm not saying white men had it as bad as black people and I would much prefer to be white in the 1800's than black, but just because the dominant class was made up of wealthy white men doesn't mean all white men were part of that class.

[–]TracyMorganFreeman 0 points1 point ago

The history of suffrage in the US is rather complicated, as free black men could vote in north well before the 15th amendment in 1870, and several states granted women the vote well before the 19th amendment in 1920.

[–]greatestbob -2 points-1 points ago

Yes, but the rich women inherited the wealth from their fathers or husbands.

[–]Yazy117 1 point2 points ago

As someone with a masters degree in butt-history i can confirm this is true

[–]binaryspartan 3 points4 points ago

..and beaten by someone yelling "down with the patriarchy!"

[–]BatwingDarling 3 points4 points ago

They do make shirts like that. Both versions are pretty fucking stupid.

[–]SirBuzzkillington23 8 points9 points ago

Shhhh.. we let them wear stuff like that so they THINK they make the rules.

[–]deargodimbored 20 points21 points ago

It's their consolation prize.

[–]Problem_GASH 7 points8 points ago

This will probably earn you a trip to SRS, unfortunately.

[–]mustfndnewname 3 points4 points ago

That's like reddit's version of sensitivity training...

[–]TracyMorganFreeman 0 points1 point ago

Reddit's version doesn't always involve calling people pieces of shit.

[–]mustfndnewname 0 points1 point ago

Sensitivity training normally involves calling people pieces of shit? Sign me up that sounds like fun!!

[–]TracyMorganFreeman 0 points1 point ago

"As supervisor, you need to be more sensitive to your employees".

"Yeah be more sensitive you piece of shit!"

[–]Stack_jungles 4 points5 points ago

Who cares, trolling those cunts is hilarious to watch.

[–]iamafeesh -1 points0 points ago

I subscribe to that subreddit just to watch crazy bitches get their panties in a bunch. Shit is hilarious

[–]Corafus 1 point2 points ago

That's fucking brilliant. Printing one up tomorrow.

[–]I_Can_Not_Escape 0 points1 point ago

He would also be called correct.

[–]erryday_IAm_rustling -2 points-1 points ago

Smell that? You smell that? Bravery, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.

Hey mouthbreathing oppressed white men, downvote some more. I don't really understand why since OP is brave as fuck and I noted that.

Was that Apocalypse Now reference lost on you? Of course it was, you're a Philistine with the social grasp of a 12 year old COD champion. My condolences.

[–]Insideoutwards 15 points16 points ago

Seriously... It's like WTF? You're proud of being a manipulative asshole/bitch? Imagine if a man wore a similar shirt about how he made all the money, so he had all the power in relationships between men and women.

[–]NotRichBarr -1 points0 points ago

Shitty cis male blind to your own privilege!

[–]slutmuffin -1 points0 points ago

I have a friend who has that shirt... she is kind of embarrassing.

[–]jagwaguar 65 points66 points ago

the quote on her shirt only applies to men who believe it.

[–]shake-zula 33 points34 points ago

[–]PossiblyTheDoctor 8 points9 points ago

No you didn't. You are a theif. A stealer of memes.

[–]Not_really_Spartacus 17 points18 points ago

If you used this you probably would have been upvoted... Reddit is a strange place

[–]shake-zula 2 points3 points ago

Memes belong to everyone.

[–]baconOclock 12 points13 points ago

If they truly believe such a thing, they deserve to be treated as such.

[–]pissoutofmyass 3 points4 points ago

That's a fucking stupid way to rationalize spousal abuse.

[–]bultonic 10 points11 points ago

What? That is one hell of a jump from using sex as a way to get people to do what you want. Both are immoral, but it hardly seems to be spousal abuse.

[–]TracyMorganFreeman 0 points1 point ago

"Power resides where people think it does. It's a trick; a shadow on the wall".

[–]I_can_engineer_that 23 points24 points ago

Do you feel like you are in charge?

[–]CrazyOldRussian 22 points23 points ago

Bane does what bane wants, Bane doesn't give a fuck.

[–]joshay22 36 points37 points ago

TIL Bane is a honeybadger

[–]synicalx1 28 points29 points ago

OP obviously hasn't actually watched DKR....

[–]crater42 20 points21 points ago

I don't know what Diddy Kong Racing has to do with any of this

[–]synicalx1 1 point2 points ago

Dark Knight Rises? It was a hidden track in Diddy Kong

[–]BeanzyWeanzy 9 points10 points ago

SPOILER: According to the movie that is what happens.

[–]allthosefeels 13 points14 points ago

Irrelevant, Bane's mask is goatse.

[–]TheOpossum 5 points6 points ago

Cannot be unseen

[–]ll0ll0ll0 94 points95 points ago

"rules" is not how "food" is spelled.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 34 points35 points ago

Trust me.

You probably don't want this one handling you food at any point.

[–]zzoyx1 3 points4 points ago

Diseases on diseases

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 1 point2 points ago

Sticky.

Just too sticky.

[–]jingy 4 points5 points ago

"rules" is not how "sandwiches" is spelled.

FTFY

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]G_Platypus 3 points4 points ago

I'm sure glad that someone cant take a joke, we almost had fun!

Fun is a dangerous drug, once you get hooked on it, you might stop being miserable!

[–]RICH_LITTLE 117 points118 points ago

Yeah, bitch! Bane would never end up getting pussy whipped...

Oh...

[–]wbrooks88 66 points67 points ago

[–]Natten 26 points27 points ago

are you Batman?

[–]MontageRyanxD 14 points15 points ago

He's the hero reddit deserves

[–]Ell975 13 points14 points ago

A simple yes would have sufficed.

[–]TheAvocadoBaron 4 points5 points ago

Mr. RyanxD didn't want you to think that he was deliberately wasting your time.

[–]MiketGuy 4 points5 points ago

Just accidentally wasting it.

[–]lazythinker 2 points3 points ago

But not the one it needs right now.

[–]Bluedevil70 0 points1 point ago

I commend you sir.

[–]IknowIhaveaproblem 0 points1 point ago

[–]onwardAgain 22 points23 points ago

/thread

[–]Cromiell 3 points4 points ago

Spoilers...

[–]omg_cornfields -5 points-4 points ago

Most unnecessary movie twist ever.

[–]Ericb25 0 points1 point ago

I know. very poor writing of that whole thing

[–]7RED7 0 points1 point ago

That pretty much just brought it back full circle to the Bane in Batman and Robin.

[–]derperado 0 points1 point ago

Guys, this guy is a new version of trapped_in_reddit. He steals top comments from previous posts of reposts and usually gets to the top. Stop him.

[–]RowdyMrBaute 7 points8 points ago

obligatory 'read it in his voice' comment

[–]soviyet 3 points4 points ago

Did I completely not understand the film, or was Bane not basically a puppet of a woman who was calling all the shots?

[–]Cattoo 2 points3 points ago

I feel like Bane is the only one tough enough to ask a question with no question mark. I hate how that has creeped into g chat and texts

[–]Kratonagan 2 points3 points ago

I dare a male redditor to buy that shirt and take of picture of themself wearing it whilst holding a cat.

[–]RedTiger013 -1 points0 points ago

Does RedTiger have to choke a bitch??

[–]Jacksonteague 0 points1 point ago

I'll answer this one Bane, Yes!

[–]fairwayks 0 points1 point ago

Well, sorta', Bane. Try eating that with that funky mask on, dude.

[–]darahen2004 0 points1 point ago

did they not learn anything the last decade?!?!?!?!

[–]FuTRoN 2 points3 points ago

bane would fucking mess up a pussy eatin it out would be like a horrror movie

[–]Nimbunaut 1 point2 points ago

In this thread: reddit gets upset over a sassy t-shirt.

[–]DaveBeCrazy 0 points1 point ago

False...he did everything in DKR for the pussy.

[–]AlexHeyNa -1 points0 points ago

Doesn't work. The pussy does have power over him.

[–]jk147 0 points1 point ago

Good thing I don't have to deal with gender inequality and 9 months worth of pain. Worth it.

[–]irob160614 0 points1 point ago

Bane puts hand on pussy "Do you feel in charge?"

[–]teabagalomaniac 0 points1 point ago

BANE RAPE!!!

[–]TheHaight 1 point2 points ago

The vagina on his face makes the rules.

[–]vacuumsaregreat 0 points1 point ago

Bane always looks surprised about something.

[–]Billy_bob12 -1 points0 points ago

Actually, it does.

[–]boolpies -1 points0 points ago

Bane is wearing goatse on his face

[–]thegregbradley 1 point2 points ago

Thank you sir. More people need to realize this.

[–]Padalock 0 points1 point ago

This just made me realize that its already been far too long since I've heard Bane's sexy voice.

[–]revel5150 1 point2 points ago

If I had a "I have the dick, I make the rules" shirt.. man. that would cause a shit storm..... oh.. Perhaps that is one of the rules she made.

[–]Falkner09 0 points1 point ago

I'm gay, does that make me bane? cause that would be awesome.

[–]johnnysexcrime -1 points0 points ago

[–]Favidavid 0 points1 point ago

twist...

[–]ERockEfreedom 0 points1 point ago

It kind of did though...

[–]Adnanwalker410 0 points1 point ago

I feel like such a non batman fan by asking this but here goes ... When does he say this line in the movie?

[–]KarmaElite 0 points1 point ago

Right before he killed Daggett.

[–]specialKcrispyT 0 points1 point ago

but talia al ghul had bane pretty whipped even when she was a child!

[–]planafuneral 0 points1 point ago

Warning to any woman wearing that T-Shirt. If you wear that in front of me I will rape the shit out of. Not because I am violent man, and not because you're that hot, but because fuck you that's why.

[–]carter0133 0 points1 point ago

Repost!!!!! Check my posts I put that on reddit 10days ago from the day I'm posting this comment!

[–]Jimbodogg 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else hear that in banes voice when they read it?

[–]Chrisisawesome 0 points1 point ago

TIL Bane is gay

[–]imjustapigeon 0 points1 point ago

I have the shirt purchased from Hot Topic, I make the rules!

[–]Santa_Claauz -1 points0 points ago

Watch her complain about the objectification of women. See the real culprits of that people?

[–]Crysalim -1 points0 points ago

How about "You're a bitch, so I'm your owner"?

Disclaimer: I would not say this nor do I endorse this statement

[–]damian001 1 point2 points ago

[–]HelloHombre -1 points0 points ago

"you think you're in charge?"

[–]Synthecism -1 points0 points ago

The original quote (to the best of my memory) is "And this gives you power over me?.... Do you feel in charge?"

[–]HelloHombre 1 point2 points ago

That explains the downvotes. I'll let myself out.

[–]txn9 -2 points-1 points ago

i have the wallet, i make the rules

[–]DirtyWhoreMouth -3 points-2 points ago

I loved everything about this movie except Bane. His character was awesome, don't get me wrong, but I seriously struggled to understand what he was saying. It pissed me off to no end.

[–]Foley1 -2 points-1 points ago

I have the pussy, I make the rules. FTFY

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

Because it does...

[–]reddituser80085 0 points1 point ago

You have a pussy? Pics or it didn't happen.. post in /r/gonewild.

[–]tandorkus -2 points-1 points ago

I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]I_Eat_Toothpaste 6 points7 points ago

So hardcore.

[–]blindcelebrant 2 points3 points ago

Cool story, bro.

[–]justajus 0 points1 point ago

Still see a sideways goaste on his mask.

Oh well.