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all 142 comments

[–]Broke_It_Agian 326 points327 points ago

Good Guy Hitler; gives advice for free.....unlike the Jews.

[–]EmperorClobbersaurus 31 points32 points ago

You're today's winner of "Posts I Wish I Thought Of First"! Upvote sent.

[–]Broke_It_Agian 44 points45 points ago

Thank you, Thank you. I'd like to thank Jesus because he makes it easier to meet the minimum time requirement of the acceptance speech.

[–]feureau 18 points19 points ago

Alright, it's official. /r/funny is now completely annexed by r/circlejerk.

I hope you're happy.

Seriously, I mean it.

I hope you're happy.

I know I am. ◑‿◐

[–]Broke_It_Agian 5 points6 points ago

As long as my comments make people laugh I'm happy.

[–]SushiPie 16 points17 points ago

Just fucking upvote, man..

[–]lirby1 13 points14 points ago

How else would I know who specifically upvoted them?

[–]pitted 0 points1 point ago

He's the winner of "I would've been downvoted to hell if I made a similar post because I'm not nearly as witty and would have made it too offensive"

[–]EmperorClobbersaurus 0 points1 point ago

haha Do you mean me? I don't get where you can make that assumption about me. I could have done something like that and hoped whoever read my post didn't see the one I praised, but that's not my way. Thanks for pretending to know me so well, though.

[–]pitted 2 points3 points ago

No, no - I meat that had I written something like what "Broke_It_Again" wrote, I would've been downvoted to death because I wouldn't have worded it in a clever way.

With that said, I don't know you & nice to meet you.

[–]EmperorClobbersaurus -1 points0 points ago

I see what you're saying. Exactly. This was a perfect example that you have to be really careful how you word things or they can be misconstrued.

Nice to meet you, as well.

[–]Broke_It_Agian 1 point2 points ago

Dam, stop you guys your going to make me blush

[–]I_live_4_me -2 points-1 points ago

it's actually shitty selfish advice, live like that man and you'll end up killing yourself out of shame and regret too. The best life one can live is through selfless deeds, not selfish desires. Hitler was not a good person and you shouldn't honor his ideologies without accepting the FACT that they led to murder and social disruption.

[–]Broke_It_Agian 1 point2 points ago

Are you kidding me the advice is great for everyone; just because Hitler is used as a background doesn't change that. If you always live for someone else, you never got to live at all.

[–]I_live_4_me 1 point2 points ago

The same could be said if you haven't lived for someone else. You are what you do. I'm sorry, this is a very selfish quote from a very selfish person who should not be admired, nor his ideologies embraced.

[–]Broke_It_Agian 0 points1 point ago

The quote is obviously fake...Also look at your username....Your a total hypocrite.

[–]I_live_4_me 0 points1 point ago

of course, that's how I chose to live. all humans are hypocrites... lol light intrudes on the darkness. darkness was here first :p

[–]Fat_Ladette -1 points0 points ago

You can still be a selfless person without worrying about what other people think. I'm a single 32 year old women without any children. "Society" keeps telling me how my biological clock is ticking and how I should feel ashamed that I'm not married with kids. That my whole life should now focus on correcting that as soon as possible. To society I say "Fuck you, I do what I want and if I end up dying old and alone it will be MY choice". Does that make me a bad person? I give to several charities on a monthly basis. I help look after my mother whom suffers from dementia and I'm always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it.

[–]I_live_4_me 0 points1 point ago

so you do what you want? regardless of what people want you to do? but you're selfless? Lol right...

[–]Fat_Ladette 0 points1 point ago

Yes. Why should I have children and a husband just because society says that's what I should do for a happy fulfilled life.

When I help people its because I really want to help them and not because I think it scores me special "society" points.

Society also tells me that I shouldn't like video games or action movies, that I should be spending my time on celeb gossip and money on shoes and handbags. To that I say "fuck that shit".

I just don't see why you and a good portion of society thinks that makes me selfish. My philosophy on life is to live it however you see fit and do whatever you want as long as you do not tread on other people while doing it, and lend a helping hand to those less fortunate.

I'm not saying I'm 100% selfless, but just because I know my own mind and do not confirm to societies views it does not automatically make me a selfish bitch.

But even if it did I would rather be that then a mindless sheep.

EDIT: Don't you think your user name is rather funny in the context of this conversation ;)

[–]I_live_4_me 0 points1 point ago

If you do not see the divinity in life you are doing society a favor by not having children.

[–]civilwarman 29 points30 points ago

It's kind of like his mustache. You want to like it, but he ruined it.

[–]kujo777 17 points18 points ago

I want that mustache so bad. That's why I decided to dress up like Charlie Chaplin this Halloween. And every other day.

[–]Dead_Music 7 points8 points ago

tbh, if he didn't kill all those people, his face would be a lot more appealing.

[–]akuta 6 points7 points ago

If he would have taken this advice he would have been a painter and history would likely be quite different.

[–]Dead_Music 1 point2 points ago

Maybe that's why he started the Holocaust in the first place. "I hate all you art critics. Fuck you. Ainswagnessburger!!!" gas chamber

[–]akuta 0 points1 point ago

I believe that part of this is true. I believe that much of what began his hatred started with his inability to receive criticism about his painting.

[–]Malarix 23 points24 points ago

What the fuck is wrong with his eyes? Is it just the light or does he have a Frankenstein thing going on.

[–]feureau 3 points4 points ago

◑‿◐

[–]InnocentFace 1 point2 points ago

ʘ‿ʘ

[–]shashakookoo 2 points3 points ago

◉␣◉

[–]feureau 1 point2 points ago

◔_◔

[–]aMillionLasers 0 points1 point ago

ಠ␣◉

[–]iampayette 11 points12 points ago

Soulless motherfucker.

[–]feureau 4 points5 points ago

TIL - Hitler is actually the king of ginger kings

[–]thewildginger 0 points1 point ago

Ya know, you would think that not having a soul would be hard, but staring into other people's can be pretty great. Except when I run across another ginger, then that is just plain old awkward.

[–]B4en 0 points1 point ago

The iris of the one thats further away from the camera is larger. Gives off a freaky effect.

[–]lifelessraptor 10 points11 points ago

Didn't he speak German?

[–]Satans_pro_tips 28 points29 points ago

He was born in Austria so I imagine he spoke Austranese.

[–]Barely_stupid 18 points19 points ago

G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!

[–]HeadShootsSwags 7 points8 points ago

Break out the Didgeridoo! Adolf would have wanted it that way.

[–]jj_underwater 10 points11 points ago

Thank you for this link. Reading this, I find myself sympathizing with him. He was just a guy trying to make a living in a big city. He saw the injustice, the brokenness of life, and he found himself an easy answer: the Jews. He thought to himself: if not for the Jews, the rest of us could finally be happy. If only... Tempting it is to fixate oneself on an easy door, on the other side of which lies Utopia, however horrid that door might be. Adolf Hitler was a man, like the rest of us. To pretend that he was some kind of demon is to turn away from the darkest potential within us, to turn away from the grave responsibility we all have to behave ethically.

[–]Hellothereawesome 2 points3 points ago

wow cool I didn't know hitler.org existed! lol.

[–]misterxy89 1 point2 points ago

thanks!

[–]jgoebbels 9 points10 points ago

IT WAS AT THIS JUNCTURE that Hitler began to consider the role of the Jew in Germany’s cultural life: “As soon as I began to investigate the matter and observe the Jews, then Vienna appeared to me in a different light.

What soon gave me cause for very serious consideration were the activities of the Jews in certain branches of life. Was there any undertaking, any form of foulness, especially in cultural life, in which at least one Jew did not participate?

I discovered the Jewish activities in the press, in art, in literature and the theatre. One needed only to look at the posters announcing the hideous productions of the cinema and study the names of the authors in order to become permanently adamant on Jewish questions.

Here was a pestilence with which the public was being infected. I began to carefully investigate the names of all the fabricators of these unclean products. The result of that inquiry was still more disfavourable to the attitude to which I had hitherto held in regard to the Jews.

The fact that nine-tenths of all the smutty literature, artistic tripe and theatrical banalities, had to be charged to the account of people who formed scarcely one per cent of the nation - that fact could not be gainsaid.”

[–]Ubley 1 point2 points ago

Don't you get put on a list or observed or something similar if you search for Mein Kampf?

[–]alphanovember 6 points7 points ago

Hold on, let me adjust my tinfoil hat, I'll get back to you in a second.

[–]hawkeale 4 points5 points ago

Assuming you've been a redditor for more than a month, you are probably on one or two watch lists anyways.

[–]Markars -1 points0 points ago

really?

[–]Br0ski 0 points1 point ago

Where does it have the quote?

[–]uSeeWhatiDidThere 23 points24 points ago

Hitler did nothing wrong

[–]bobtheterminator 32 points33 points ago

It's less funny out of context.

[–]kokowam 10 points11 points ago

It's reddit. I doubt there will be anyone that doesn't understand the context.

[–]Minotaur_in_house 10 points11 points ago

Me, sitting here drinking my unnamed mountain dew, does not understand.

[–]OwDaditHurts 9 points10 points ago

Why on earth would you drink disgusting unnamed drink when you could be having a nice cold tall glass of Hitler did nothing wrong?

[–]CrazedBanana 0 points1 point ago

Mmm, apple

[–]Fawful 1 point2 points ago

Fapple

FTFY

[–]RiveraMarcel 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, he actually killed Hitler!

[–]richandwhite 7 points8 points ago

Well yeah, but he also killed the guy who killed Hitler.

[–]Bestpaperplaneever 2 points3 points ago

It's Hitlers all the way down.

[–]EmperorClobbersaurus 11 points12 points ago

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." -Adolf Hitler

[–]sandh035 10 points11 points ago

TIL Harriet Tubman morphed in to Hitler.

[–]EmperorClobbersaurus 6 points7 points ago

You might be missing the joke.

[–]sandh035 7 points8 points ago

Well, I'll fully admit I didn't know it was a Harriet Tubman quote at first, but I did appreciate it after a quick Google search.

Was mostly for others too lazy to Google it.

[–]EmperorClobbersaurus 3 points4 points ago

Upvote for taking the time to Google it.

[–]seafoodgar 2 points3 points ago

This was posted on /r/Offensive_Wallpapers/ a couple weeks ago

[–]RICH_LITTLE 6 points7 points ago

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” Adolf Hitler

[–]Schildpatt 2 points3 points ago

There's just too much pressure on the man. Staying in the media all day, being such a role model for all the girls.

[–]lisforleo 2 points3 points ago

wait wait is this legit

[–]misterxy89 1 point2 points ago

Can't find anything on it. Luckily l own Mein Kampf, might be there so l'll dig around.

Edit :jgoebbels beat me too it http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/zkhp7/solid_advice/c65g736

[–]LikesToDrive 9 points10 points ago

[–]poor_decisions -1 points0 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]reallycooldudeakaben 1 point2 points ago

How is this back already?? It was front page not a week ago! You have to wait at least a month!

[–]Herdsoot 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, 99% of motivational quotes can have Hitler next to them and be put out of context.

[–]AlooGobi 0 points1 point ago

How about a similar post on r/Offensive_wallpapers

[–]MrBokbagok 0 points1 point ago

Is it me or does Hitler look a whole lot like Kevin Spacey?

[–]BlitzMonk3y 0 points1 point ago

um....

[–]Candycane13 0 points1 point ago

Don't take advice from hitler...

[–]derpthebass 0 points1 point ago

I'm debating whether I should use this as my wallpaper now.

[–]AliasUndercover -1 points0 points ago

That is some of the most offensive, horrifying, shameful humor it has ever been my displeasure to see.

I'm SO proud...

[–]mehatch 0 points1 point ago

"Just be yourself", "Stay true to yourself" etc. etc.

[–]soccerchamp__1 -1 points0 points ago

[–]squeaker -1 points0 points ago

Next time a coworker leaves his workstation unlocked, this will be his new background.

[–]commander2131 0 points1 point ago

His eyes..... What the heck...

[–]BLUYear 0 points1 point ago

FB cover photo. Right. Now.

[–]vaderxman 0 points1 point ago

This is a repost but I don't really care this the best picture ever.

[–]yackewy23 1 point2 points ago

he loved baking. And noone and nothing could stop that but death.

[–]skipmadrid 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to hell, I laughed.

[–]OG_Willikers 0 points1 point ago

Everything about this is completely fucked.

[–]madmonkeymud 0 points1 point ago

But he wasn't accepted into art school like he wanted, and he never returned.

[–]BurntTheToast 0 points1 point ago

I'm not gay an say why you will about him he had pretty eyes.

[–]MTK67 0 points1 point ago

Fun game for all of you college students out there. When walking through the dorms, look at all the quotes. 1 point for each person that was murdered/assassinated/executed; 2 points for each person that O.D.'ed or died through their own stupidity; 3 points for intentional suicides, anti-semites, and racists.

[–]asleeplessmalice 0 points1 point ago

I just realized how much Trevor Moore looks like Adolf. Holy fuck.

[–]smittenimp92 0 points1 point ago

I don't whether to up vote for good advice, or down vote because it's from the man who caused the holocaust. I'm conflicted.

[–]larryroutine 0 points1 point ago

Now my wallpaper and waiting for someone to yell at me ;D

[–]fett4evr 0 points1 point ago

unless you're on reddit

[–]mayonesa 2 points3 points ago

All of you who upvoted this are Nazis who want to kill six million Jews.

FACT.

[–]Cartycartcar 0 points1 point ago

Just noticed one of hitler's pupils are bigger than the other

[–]f1manoz 0 points1 point ago

Taking advice from Hitler? Hmmm....

[–]oxambergxo 0 points1 point ago

Is It just me or does his right iris look smaller than the left...

[–]corshura 1 point2 points ago

dae notice that it looks like one pupil is bigger than the other

[–]th1nker 1 point2 points ago

What does hitler look like without the moustache?

[–]MBSquared 2 points3 points ago

A Scenester.

[–]Xero_XYZ 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me or does hitler without his 'stache look actually cool?

[–]TurgidMeatWand 2 points3 points ago

it's not just you, I think he's totally fuckable, surprised me how much focus the moustache took from the rest of his face.

[–]otakuman 1 point2 points ago

I think the point is that he let others influence on his artistic career. So he quit and became a politician. The rest, is history.

[–]ladykillfactory 1 point2 points ago

Lolocaust!

[–]touriste 0 points1 point ago

Dat emo haircut

[–]Fleshgod 2 points3 points ago

Anything more than an inch in length = emo hair?

[–]iampayette 0 points1 point ago

no, anything unnaturally thinned and straightened is emo.

[–]rillegas08 -3 points-2 points ago

Equally applicable to the GOP

[–]Arbybeay -2 points-1 points ago

[–]omegagreenfever -2 points-1 points ago

Welp, here I am. Upvoting Hitler. Yep.

[–]faeden -1 points0 points ago

As a Jew I am offended, I do nazi this as funny!

[–]heres_a_random_pic -2 points-1 points ago

x-post from r/imgoingtohellforthis

[–]aspiringagent19 -2 points-1 points ago

well when you put a picture of hitler next to that quote, i believe it loses inspirational value

[–]itsnotsnot 0 points1 point ago

Made me giggle precisely when I needed a good giggle.

[–]Kimbucktoo47 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for my new desktop background

[–]wildfire250 -5 points-4 points ago

Hitler realy gives the best advie

Edit: you can downvote but you know rhat he does

[–]Ty-fly -3 points-2 points ago

This is still the background on my computer.

[–]rswalk -3 points-2 points ago

keep at 666 upvotes