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all 184 comments

[–]lonesome_god 35 points36 points ago

He might also be saying eat some wood. So, there.

[–]DISAPPROVESALOT -5 points-4 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]mrlobsta 115 points116 points ago

What's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly a tree down your throat.

[–]stopwhistling 16 points17 points ago

Then Godzilla must be jelly, because jam don't shake like that.

[–]calicojones 4 points5 points ago

Then you must be preserves, because you should have kept that stored in the cellar with a lid on it.

[–]NotVerySmarts 1 point2 points ago

It seems rooted in good science.

[–]mattdangerously 0 points1 point ago

Stop that.

[–]Mad-At-The-Internet 0 points1 point ago

What dew you mean?

[–]Zanedude 0 points1 point ago

I've always told it this way: What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick up your ass. Then I stare them down.

[–]Real-Life-Reddit 1 point2 points ago

"prepare your anus"

[–]ViolenceHero 52 points53 points ago

[I always hated this movie because they overpowered King Kong. Godzilla would have easily wrecked him any day of the week. They made King Kong the size of Godzilla and gave him BS electric shooting powers, then they said Godzilla's weakness is electricity. I call BS!!! Godzilla is the king of all monsters and would never be beaten by a large ape. Also Jet Jaguar is the fucking MAN!!!!]

[–]Zoomalude 17 points18 points ago

high fives the obvious fellow Godzilla kid now grown up

[–]ruderabbit 4 points5 points ago

Man, I used to love Godzilla ... I mean, I still do, but my level of obsession was way higher.

I watched the American version first, and couldn't understand why they made him so sucky after watching some of the Japanese films.

[–]Viking_Lordbeast 1 point2 points ago

I used to do drugs. I don't anymore.

[–]ruderabbit 0 points1 point ago

... ... ... whut?

[–]Joshiebear 0 points1 point ago

There aren't 2 versions of the film. The different ending thing was just a rumor. I agree that Godzilla was/is way better, but at the time King Kong was more popular so they stacked the deck. It's worth noting that originally it was going to be Frankenstein fighting Godzilla, and he got powers from electricity. They changed the monster to King Kong but kept the powers for poops and giggles.

I love Godzilla Movies.

[–]ViolenceHero 2 points3 points ago

[Internet High five my brother!]

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 12 points13 points ago

Godzilla is the king of all monsters and would never be beaten by a large ape.

That would make for a pretty shitty movie though.

[–]ViolenceHero 7 points8 points ago

[Agreed, but I mean C'MON! At least later on they made a Mecha-Kong, That's more believable. If they wanted the Kong battle to be more interesting then they should have added a proper monster to aid him.]

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 15 points16 points ago

Yeah I agree. Why are you posting everything in brackets?

[–]ViolenceHero 11 points12 points ago

[I'm a weirdo, don't mind the brackets.]

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 9 points10 points ago

I'm trying not to mind them, but it's difficult. I don't like things I don't understand.

[–]swiley1983 1 point2 points ago

[–]ViolenceHero 1 point2 points ago

[There are many things in this world that we don't understand, sometimes we try to understand them. That's fine, it's human nature to learn more. Sometimes when no matter how much we try we cannot grasp it, so we become angry and hate that which we cannot understand. I ask you to not let yourself fall into that trap of human nature. You are stronger than that, I believe in you.]

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 6 points7 points ago

okay

[–]jakestrictor 1 point2 points ago

The world fears what it does not understand.

Salem witch trials?

[–]ViolenceHero 1 point2 points ago

[Nice, well I do live right next to Salem anyways.]

[–]jakestrictor 3 points4 points ago

I choose to ignore your brackets and Tag you in res as "Brackets" so that I'll know, you're the wise monk guy.

[–]quakeaddict 4 points5 points ago

Jet Jagar, Jet Jagar!

[–]quakeaddict 0 points1 point ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cxV8Bf8ND4

This is my favorite version.

[–]Joshiebear 1 point2 points ago

Punch Punch PUUUUUUNCH!!!!!

[–]le_canuck 3 points4 points ago

Fun fact: It was originally written as Godzilla vs. Frankenstein, but was changed to King Kong for licensing reasons. That's why King Kong gets powerful when struck by lighting.

[–]ViolenceHero 2 points3 points ago

[Yeah, someone said it's also not the same King Kong as from the American movies. He came from another island, not Skull Island.]

[–]le_canuck 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, bollocks if I ever heard it. Also, why do you speak in square brackets?

[–]Benjammin1391 31 points32 points ago

I love how Godzilla flails about. Granted, having a stick shoved in your face prolly feels mighty odd.

BTW, you might want to xpost this to /r/godzilla before someone steals it.

[–]ZuFFuLuZ 4 points5 points ago

Don't worry, it's already a repost.

[–]Benjammin1391 -1 points0 points ago

A repost? On the internet? You lie!

[–]KnightBlue 1 point2 points ago

Surely you jest!

[–]420wasabisnappin 3 points4 points ago

GET YOUR KARMA MANNNN

[–]Roboticide 2 points3 points ago

I love how Godzilla flails about. Granted, having a stick shoved in your face prolly feels mighty odd.

Well, from those short... documentaries you might stumble across online, you don't really see much flailing about when some individuals get a stick shoved in their... face...

[–]GreyCastle 239 points240 points ago

I hated vegetables when I was a kid.

Whenever we had them for dinner I would try and sneak them off of my plate. I found the most effective method was stowing them away in my pants. After my pants were considerably filled, I would stockpile the veg in my closet.

After a meal, my pockets would be loaded, my underwear was filled. I was up to my dick in peas and carrots.

Something felt oddly good about the heat from the veggies. That was when I got my first boner. Warm broccoli pressed against my dick, soon the broccoli was whiter than cauliflower.

I got back to my room and unloaded my vegetables into the closet. Then I brainstormed....I got it! I gather up all the old rotten veggies from my closet and laid them out in a pile on my floor.

I started to mush them into a pattern resembling a woman. I gave my creation features; carrot nose, cauliflower ears, and a mouth made from peas. I contemplated using tomatoes for the eyes, but decided that they didn't count, so I replaced them with beets. Then I hollowed out a piece of corn and capped it onto my penis as a makeshift condom. And started to ram that vegetable woman in the ass. I went on for several minutes. The rotten vegetables and my ball sweat created such a foul scent. A scent my dog picked up on. Soon my dog had made his way in, he was oblivious. Rex starts licking my asshole. I don't stop him I'm too distracted. His tongue goes in deep. Rex started humping me too.

It's turned into a three-way between my creation, dog, and self. I couldn't last any longer, I blew the corn condom right off, which was now filled with a cream de mushroom soup - same as my asshole.

TL;DR: Vegetables are sexy as fuck. I no longer dislike them, but love them.

[–]ZML09 53 points54 points ago

[–]Elverlong 136 points137 points ago

9/10 Would buy 50 shades of GreyCastle

[–]GreyCastle 80 points81 points ago

If you call right now, your copy of the book comes with a free autographed picture of me laying naked in a cornfield.

[–]Influenzed 14 points15 points ago

9/10, would write 50 Shades of GreyCastle

[–]Elverlong 4 points5 points ago

Oh fuck, I missed the offer.

[–]lethargicwalrus 73 points74 points ago

Fucking fuck dammit what is wrong with you?

[–]banana_buddy 17 points18 points ago

The guy has a fetish for vegetables and bestiality, WTF is wrong with you?

[–]FilthFlarnFilth 134 points135 points ago

[–]comicsansibar 23 points24 points ago

Is it ok if I turn this into a children's book?

[–]GreyCastle 34 points35 points ago

I PM'd you a picture of my dick so that you can accurately portray its likeness in the book.

[–]903530986709239856 38 points39 points ago

Why do I have a boner now

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AcesCharles2 18 points19 points ago

Because my stories are orgasmic.

Because my stories are organic. FTFY

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 20 points21 points ago

Because you're a karma whore, and my new best friend.

[–]GreyCastle 29 points30 points ago

brb getting the corn condom.

Edit: accidentally deleted above comment

"Because my stories are orgasmic"

[–]DudeWithTheNose 7 points8 points ago

Good Guy GreyCastle

Deletes His Comment

Tells Us what It Said

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 4 points5 points ago

How quickly the Queen forgets

[–]papabear361 -2 points-1 points ago

Because my stories are organic

FTFY

[–]Arkeon 6 points7 points ago

If only you were a minute earlier.

[–]I_have_a_Secret 61 points62 points ago

[–]esiper 22 points23 points ago

[–]Dattish 7 points8 points ago

UNLIMITED POWER

[–]Jakeman52 10 points11 points ago

What the fuck.

[–]DragonsWillRise 4 points5 points ago

What's your secret? You can trust me. Tell me. Do it. Just tell me. Don't even think about it, just do it.

[–]midgetmime 15 points16 points ago

The Revenge of Colby

[–]Wintersc 6 points7 points ago

I expected to see people complaining about this being a repost. I'm not sure what to think now.

[–]iaccidentlytheworld 13 points14 points ago

 ʘ‿ʘ

[–]Reflective_Wallpaper 19 points20 points ago

[–]rqaa3721 4 points5 points ago

I was hoping it was a typography of the whole story.

Oh well.

[–]Roboticide 0 points1 point ago

This is a novelty I can really get behind.

[–]NO3SCAPE 6 points7 points ago

Silly OP. That's not how you vegetable!

[–]lakotian[S] 0 points1 point ago

Sorry, I mean't fruits.

[–]Farisr9k 17 points18 points ago

The aristocrats!

[–]Nerd_Swag 4 points5 points ago

[|]__[|]

[–]DISAPPROVESALOT 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]shepardownsnorris 3 points4 points ago

/r/4chan is leaking again.

[–]Wonderful_Life 1 point2 points ago

Why

[–]Shadowmaggot323 2 points3 points ago

Brava! Brava! Another, good ser! That was inspiring!

[–]robcrusoe 6 points7 points ago

8/10 OP. you make me proud..

[–]paavopesusieni -2 points-1 points ago

"OP"

[–]junoh 2 points3 points ago

8/10

[–]Darkencypher 3 points4 points ago

[–]californialoving 3 points4 points ago

The fuck did I just read?

[–]weeksy777 2 points3 points ago

Dude!

[–]Captainshithead 3 points4 points ago

Enjoy you're new RES tag, Vegetable Humper

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]GreyCastle 5 points6 points ago

His name was Rex and we shared a bond stronger than any human relationship could.

[–]HookDragger -1 points0 points ago

Is this a weird mashup of 50 shades of grey and the tv show castle?

[–]I_can_engineer_that 15 points16 points ago

Never thought I would see Godzilla get mouth raped with a tree this early in the morning, I better make some coffee.

[–]2Dmurdoc 5 points6 points ago

I loved this movie because King Kong became the size of Godzilla. King Kong was no where near the size of a building, while Godzilla stomped on them with ease. There was also supposed to be a monster movie, developed by Toho, called Frankenstein Vs. Godzilla

[–]farceur318 2 points3 points ago

To be fair, it was technically a completely different King Kong than the one from the movie King Kong.

[–]txapollo342 2 points3 points ago

[–]Sapoe 2 points3 points ago

[–]moviedude26 0 points1 point ago

Relevant

NSFW

[–]bravo_malaka 0 points1 point ago

How?

[–]BankofAmericas 1 point2 points ago

I'm sitting here watching this gif and really, really trying to figure out how this is front page material on r/funny. Did the thousands of people who upvoted this actually watch this and lol?! "King Kong is pushing a tree into his mouth and the text says eat your vegetables! Hahahahaha! Upvote!!!"

[–]winback099 3 points4 points ago

Was this before or after King Kong started shooting lightning bolts? Or before Toho made Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People?

[–]turkeyinthecorn 1 point2 points ago

King Kong vs Godzilla is the one with lightning.

[–]mrbooze 1 point2 points ago

He doesn't "shoot" lightning but they at some point decide that electricity makes Kong stronger and Godzilla weaker (buh?), so they arrange for Kong to get "electrified" after which Kong shocks Godzilla when he grabs him.

[–]goofball_jones 0 points1 point ago

Not King Kong...that's a dude in a suit.

THIS is King Kong:

http://i.imgur.com/Mwc98.jpg

[–]duncdog10 1 point2 points ago

BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

[–]kingwolfos 1 point2 points ago

Well vegetables may be good for you, but as Sleeping Dogs has taught me: A man who never eats pork buns is never a whole man.

[–]thesugardealers 0 points1 point ago

HAHA! I still have this movie on VHS!!!

[–]MrFish291 0 points1 point ago

My grandma always told me brocolli was just a collection of little trees to get me to eat them.

It seems King Kong's trying a similar approach.

[–]OpticalReality 0 points1 point ago

KING KONG AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!

[–]Infernal_NightGaunt 0 points1 point ago

Amazing movie btw.

[–]MrAgoo 1 point2 points ago

but will it blend?

[–]ChaoticFiend 0 points1 point ago

"King Kong ain't got shit on me"

[–]bk404 0 points1 point ago

Aaaand save image as...

[–]megamoose4 -1 points0 points ago

I prefer to smoke mine, he he he.

[–]Smithburg01 0 points1 point ago

I think this made me laugh way more than it should have

[–]FlaccidCucumber 1 point2 points ago

More like : PRACTISE BLOWJOBS WITH STICKSSSS

[–]DontBroMeBro 1 point2 points ago

TIL Godzilla can deep throat.

[–]lizardwizardboy97 0 points1 point ago

oold idiet

[–]eat-your-corn-syrup 0 points1 point ago

.

[–]sofakingclassic 0 points1 point ago

I dont understand why they brought back King Kong (a bigger version of an animal that still exists today) and not the t-rex (a fucking dinosaur).

[–]rapitkon 0 points1 point ago

i like vegetables

[–]pottyaboutpotter1 0 points1 point ago

Okay now THAT was funny!

[–]IAmAStatistician 0 points1 point ago

Over 70% of the children that live in Asia are malnourished.

[–]draivaden 0 points1 point ago

REPTAR! NOOOOOOO

[–]BloodyNobody 0 points1 point ago

♪ You gotta eat your vegetables ♪

[–]GiantmonsterEric 0 points1 point ago

As a huge Godzilla fan I am inclined to appreciate the hell out of this. Thank you for this!

[–]21nipples 0 points1 point ago

Or choke on them

[–]menomenaa 0 points1 point ago

Because of how unfamiliar it looks to me (I'm 22), the oddity of those costumes and the creepy way they move and lurch around, I actually think this is scarier and in some ways more entertaining than the cgi monster movies that come out. I would love to see a movie made in this style, today. On purpose and not just because it's the only available methods.

[–]zombierror 0 points1 point ago

This image makes my day :)

[–]lukenog 0 points1 point ago

post this on r/godzilla or r/kaiju

[–]rorygs 0 points1 point ago

That's some strange use of capital letters.

[–]nexus_5 0 points1 point ago

The Germans like to capitalize Nouns for some Reason. I always wonder if People who do these Things might have English as a second Language.

[–]BaronLaladedo 0 points1 point ago

So did Clones of Bruce Lee, and look what happened to the bronze guys.

[–]Black-Box 0 points1 point ago

Considering the Roots are going in first and still covered in dirt. I think the real message is EAT DIRT!

[–]epicpants 0 points1 point ago

I've seen this 100 times... how does this repost always get to the top.... oh yeah, because I can't help myself. Too good to not upvote.

[–]ShowMeYourSheep 0 points1 point ago

You're killing him, Michael!

[–]nexus_5 0 points1 point ago

No I am not. You are.

[–]Mr_Mimiseku 0 points1 point ago

Gif saved. Someday, somewhere, this gif will be relevant.

[–]BlackFire210 1 point2 points ago

This made me eat vegetables again.

[–]PlaysSnDnaked 0 points1 point ago

It's either that or deapthroating

[–]DaSeraph 0 points1 point ago

They first tried this with the tree on fire, but weren't sure 'smoke trees' should really be a message to the kids.

[–]ThepIGOFmigS261468 0 points1 point ago

Monster porn...

[–]FlaccidJustice 0 points1 point ago

i hated this movie so much... I own every Godzilla movie. However this one and son of Godzilla pissed me off so bad. also side note whoevers name comes first wins "King Kong vs Godzilla"

[–]RobPro1 0 points1 point ago

I came here to see comments about a GIF I can no longer remember because my mind has become full of impleasant images of a boy fucking a vegetable woman, with a corn condom whilst being fucked by his dog. What? Why? Why is that voted up 210 times. Why. What the fuck. No. Why. What is wrong with you. Wtf.

[–]Kriicz 0 points1 point ago

Or... practice your gag reflex.

[–]sonofapants 0 points1 point ago

Can we stop reposting this under different headings? Am I the only one around here who's seen this at least 4 times?

[–]coalitionofilling 0 points1 point ago

Never saw this movie.. I don't get it. How are they the same size? King kong is a little monkey on the top of a building, Godzilla is a giant lizard literally the size of buildings, knocking them down as he walks by. Please fill me in.

[–]kuningata 0 points1 point ago

Deepthroating a tree...

[–]ThePhenix 0 points1 point ago

I like this GIF.

[–]jcro123 0 points1 point ago

Downvoted, for it not being King Kong.

[–]inpsytful 0 points1 point ago

That's what's up, King Kong reppin' the vegans.

[–]FUiLoveAdventureTime -2 points-1 points ago

Repost.

[–]PorchMonkeyKike -5 points-4 points ago

The hardest part about eating vegetables is the wheelchair

[–]the_awesome_face 0 points1 point ago

Haven't heard this one before.

[–]OnceIHadACookie 0 points1 point ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
King Kong is Sending a Good Message to the Kids. 177coms 1829pts 11hrs funny
How i felt as little kid at the dinner table. 3coms 84pts 9dys gifs
But moommmm 0coms 4pts 13dys funny
Pretend they're little trees! 14coms 823pts 2mos funny
HIFW I take the kids I babysit out to lunch 7coms 439pts 2mos HIFW
Be healthy, kids. 8coms 1070pts 2mos gifs

[–]masonryc -1 points0 points ago

needs a brazzers logo

[–]meatpie_lover 1 point2 points ago

Tree serves a day.

[–]lakotian[S] 1 point2 points ago

Good pun, have an upvote.

[–]BlusteryEmu -1 points0 points ago

[–]a200ftmonster -5 points-4 points ago

I need this for the next time I get into a political debate on facebook.

[–]nexus_5 0 points1 point ago

Tell him that you only want to be friends.

[–]psyEDk -2 points-1 points ago

hahaha omg, this is fucking awesome

[–]psyEDk -1 points0 points ago

wait - that comment got down voted? this isn't awesome?? i'm so confused now