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Why are you guys so afraid about coming to Finland? (imgur.com)

submitted ago by JellyCopter

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[–]Khafji 50 points51 points ago

You know....the question marks on the windows really add to the whole decor. Is it really rape? The answer is clearly:

VIIHDERAVINTOLA

??????

[–]SpecklePattern 29 points30 points ago

The best thing in that is that 'viihde' = entertainment and 'ravintola' = restaurant, so it in this context its "Pizzeria Rape, Entertainment Restaurant ???????" :DD

'Lapin Kulta' and 'Karjala' are just beer brands. :)

[–]wisewiseimsowise 10 points11 points ago

"Lapin" means "bunny" in french. Cult of the bunny that is. Fascinating.

[–]Khafji 3 points4 points ago

Oh man, that's just too amazing.

[–]question_all_the_thi 2 points3 points ago

'Lapin Kulta' means literally 'Lappland Gold'.

Karjala is the name of a region at the Russian border.

[–]pinkiponki 2 points3 points ago

It's Karelia in english.

[–]Edvart -2 points-1 points ago

You're missing an OMISTUSLIITE.

[–]skyman724 -1 points0 points ago

I would be honored if I could rape a pizza in front of a crowd and give everyone a slice afterwards.

[–]Zombie_Lover 0 points1 point ago

That's just the safe word. Sadly, I don't know how to pronounce Finnish. THANKS KIMO LOHMAN!!!

[–]clonn 16 points17 points ago

Come to Spain

[–]skyman724 -2 points-1 points ago

Looks like a blobfish.

Meh.

[–]I_CATS 27 points28 points ago

Relevant finnish comic.

EDIT: Ha, I translated the first two panels for you, but then changed my mind. The more wtf the better, right?

[–]lasersandstuff 14 points15 points ago

Personally, I go to finland for all the Pussi

[–]iam12andwhatisthis[!] 14 points15 points ago

Not just any pussi

[–]skyman724 4 points5 points ago

Brings a whole new meaning to "I eat the pussi".

[–]question_all_the_thi -2 points-1 points ago

Do you like Finnish bags that much?

[–]hamsterdam83 12 points13 points ago

You can't get fat from eating at the Pizzeria Rape. From what I understand, after speaking with numerous Italians, if it is a legitimate pizza rape the body has ways of shutting down any potential weight gain.

[–]Aaod 0 points1 point ago

Shit moving to Finland I fucking love Pizza but hate how unhealthy it is. No wonder so many Finnish girls are so hot they can eat what they want and not gain weight!

[–]Gredenis 0 points1 point ago

The thing is, you have to keep warm during the winter somehow ;)

[–]StandardFiend 6 points7 points ago

I'm afraid because of Lapin Kulta.

[–]DolphinRex 5 points6 points ago

Reindeer piss is what they called it when I was there

[–]hilledrah 1 point2 points ago

I know. That shit tastes horrible. But there's allways things like Kozel in the markets.

[–]haybecca 2 points3 points ago

Pizza rape. The best kind of rape.

[–]barshoe 4 points5 points ago

My old history teacher used to tell us about this pizza place called Rape in Kemi. I always thought he was just making it up, but I guess it's real after all.

[–]felipec -2 points-1 points ago

Yeah, but it's not pronounced rape, it's rape. Fucking English.

In Spanish reip vs rape.

[–]DolphinRex 3 points4 points ago

TIL while in Finland. Reindeer are real, and I freaking ate one.

[–]goeasyonme 3 points4 points ago

Swedish snuff, Göteborgs Rapé.

Recommended tho. Good stuff if you do snuff.

edit: so basicly Gothenburg Rape!

[–]CantHugEveryCat 3 points4 points ago

Both "snuff" and "rape" in the same sentence. Doesn't bode well!

[–]goeasyonme 0 points1 point ago

;)

[–]Draedon 0 points1 point ago

Picture (and yes, white portion hurts a bit less than black portion).

[–]goeasyonme 0 points1 point ago

yeah same with all snuffs, whites are a bit more gentle. General White is also quite tasty. But I do recommend Grov baksnus (Rough baking snuff?) for all new beginners.. He he he!!

[–]JellyCopter[S] 5 points6 points ago

Actually Rape is a common nickname in finland for names like Raimo and Risto.

[–]sugamonkey 5 points6 points ago

Hey that made me think of a question. When I visited Finland I noticed that alot of guys didn't go be their given name, alot of them had nicknames. Is this really common there? Here in the US it is common with certain names, James/Jim, Timothy/Tim or Timmy, Christopher/Chris, but it is usually just a short form of the same name. There I heard some that were totally different than their given name.

[–]Hornborg 7 points8 points ago

Most of them probably meant asshole.

[–]sugamonkey 3 points4 points ago

Ha, maybe. The only one I can remember was a guy named Alexsi that the called Allu half the time. I was getting very confused since he was introduced to me as Alexsi, but then people kept mentioning some guy named Allu at the party I was at. I was a bit drunk which made it even more confusing. :)

[–]Hornborg 2 points3 points ago

You can bet that if your name is more than 6 letters, it will get shortened to something. Markku becomes Make, Aleksi becomes Allu, Taneli becomes Tani (atleast here) et cetera. Last names also easily become nicknames, such as if your friend is called Aleksi Voutilainen, people could call him Allu, or Vouti.

And... On top of these, guys (and pretty much guys exclusively [well, really young teenage girls or those who are "forever 14" call each other hoes]) just call each other assholes etc. "Fucking piece of shit asshole" is pretty much the nicest and "Aww" worthiest thing a guy says to antoher guy. I mean, when he is comfortable enough to insult you, he's ready to take a bullet for you.

[–]sugamonkey 1 point2 points ago

Interesting, then it is preety simular to here. I call my girlfriends bitches. I also routinely say to my guy friends, "Hey dick want's up", there responds being, " hey bitch" or sometimes just "fuck you". This of course would be close friends or family.

[–]I_CATS 2 points3 points ago

There are no nickname-rules really. While they are not completely random (there are many common nicknames, like Raimo -> Rape or Aleksi/Aleksanteri -> Allu), their use is. Just because your name is Raimo does not mean people will call you Rape, it is completely a case by case thing.

[–]awe8bit 2 points3 points ago

I can vouch for this. Most of my friends call me an asshole. It's just because we are in Finland... Nothing more... ಠ_ಠ

[–]Hornborg 6 points7 points ago

As I said to sugamonkey, when a Finn is comfortable enough to insult you, he's ready to take a bullet for you.

Perkeleen mulukku.

[–]-pawky- 0 points1 point ago

Lot of people have crazy nicknames nothing to do with their given name, this goes double for my small circle of friends. Heck, I don't even know the real names of all of them, and we tight!

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 0 points1 point ago

I know a guy named Risto!

[–]-pawky- 0 points1 point ago

RAUNO and RAULI

[–]omst 4 points5 points ago

Beer goes well with chips: http://imgur.com/a/uKr7z

[–]l34512 2 points3 points ago

Pussi means bag in finnish.

[–]brootwarst 0 points1 point ago

pretty sure those are crisps

[–]Servuslol 2 points3 points ago

You know that feel when you're like 6 and you get told about Santa and all the snowy place and magic that goes on? Finland is like that when it's covered in snow and you're an adult. Thinking about my time there makes me tingly all over.

[–]Siverix 2 points3 points ago

That's because Santa is from Finland

[–]madlumberman 0 points1 point ago

I'd rape the shit out of a pizza right about now

[–]sakuramboo 2 points3 points ago

If it's legitimate, does that mean the pizzas not satisfying?

[–]clonn 2 points3 points ago

Viihderavintola??????

Good question.

[–]MASTERGOD 2 points3 points ago

They are expanding to germany.

[–]cthulhubert 2 points3 points ago

I'm not afraid! I want to come! But it's apparently pretty hard to repatriate there. Half the other countries on Earth roll out a red carpet if you have a technical degree and learn their language. Finland? Finland has the highest per capita of PhDs in the world! What do they want with your shitty American degree? They have local toilet paper manufacturers!

[–]yokopwno 0 points1 point ago

Well, we have rapeseed oil products where I'm originally from. Pizza rape > seeds of rape.

[–]brussels4breakfast 1 point2 points ago

What's with all the question marks?

[–]CarterAdministration -1 points0 points ago

Rapea can mean crunchy, as in a crust. Perhaps a pun on the owner's name.

[–]bowhunter6274 -1 points0 points ago

How would you like it if I raped you?

[–]CashMoneyChina 0 points1 point ago

A restaurant of just pure confusion

[–]CanadianBoyEh 0 points1 point ago

Don't forget the "nutkick" chocolate bars

[–]rumnscurvy 2 points3 points ago

As far as testicular impact is concerned, this place wins the contused, blue and writhing medal.

[–]Finesto 0 points1 point ago

Hey, blame the germans for that name, not estonians or finnish. IIRC, it means "peek in the kitchen"

[–]rumnscurvy 1 point2 points ago

So I've been told, and besides, I'm not blaming anyone, it's hilarious !

[–]tuore 0 points1 point ago

It's not German, it's Afrikaans.

[–]MudflapsED 0 points1 point ago

Remember that one time, when I ate a slice of pizza...

[–]samesjisson 0 points1 point ago

Lets just say I have a legitimate reason.

[–]prepend 0 points1 point ago

Their prices are quite reasonable.

[–]I_REALLY_LIKE_BIRDS 0 points1 point ago

All I can imagine is a bunch of people in a kitchen, eating pizza and raping rabbits.

[–]VAGINAL_HOLOCAUST 0 points1 point ago

I'll have a large with an extra side if rape please

[–]jvangoor 0 points1 point ago

I went there and ordered a foot long, did not get what I expected...

[–]catskhiker 0 points1 point ago

I wish I could speak Finish. My paternal grandparents came from there.

[–]Lurkerhereduh 0 points1 point ago

it's all about its legitimacy

[–]nerdmanpap 1 point2 points ago

Sounds delicious, is there a buffet?

[–]Lumpofgreenputty 0 points1 point ago

I want to visit Finland actually. It makes epic metal

[–]Fig1024 0 points1 point ago

this also resolves ambiguity for transgender people

[–]Aberguine 0 points1 point ago

because imgur doesn't load there

[–]palalab 1 point2 points ago

I'll bet even that pizza is bland.

[–]riverstyxxx 1 point2 points ago

Nice try, Finland Department Of Tourism.

[–]r0baj0b 0 points1 point ago

I'm not afraid to go to Finland. I had a 20 hour overnight lay over in Helsinki en-route to Tokyo.....got seriously fucked up on Karjala and that black tar stuff with a load of Finnish metallers....

[–]coffeesleeve 1 point2 points ago

Lapin Kulta is a fantastic beer!

[–]proteus91 0 points1 point ago

I Have been to Finland! The pizza there is surprisingly delicious!

[–]Bunbury42 1 point2 points ago

I know exactly one Finnish word: Perkele

And it's apparently a word they use a lot. I'll just run around shouting it at the pizza place.

[–]StarHat 1 point2 points ago

Kyllä se Suomi on ihan perkeleen hieno paikka.

[–]maritime_ 0 points1 point ago

näino

[–]StarHat 0 points1 point ago

No voi yhyren kerra.

[–]the_456 -2 points-1 points ago

I'm not afraid of being raped by a pizza...I've raped enough pizzas that it would just be payback. What I would be afraid of is that you still have guys like Simo Hayha around and I would some how accidentally upset him.

[–]Aaod -1 points0 points ago

Ehhh I wouldn't worry much about guys like that. They tend to be like Andre the giant and hard to upset. Scary as hell when mad though. Long fuse huge bomb.

[–]3rdAccoCuzIforgotPW -1 points0 points ago

I can confirm that rape is indeed legal in finland. Usually you can choose if you want pizza or rape with your beer.

[–]TheSwissGuard 0 points1 point ago

hell I travelled all over Finland, shame what happened to the marka.

[–]qwertyazerty 0 points1 point ago

What happened was, there was a referendum on joining the EU and the Euro to which we Finns voted yes. There is nothing shameful in that.

I personally have nothing but bad memories of the Markka since all that comes to mind is the dreadful 1990-1994 recession and Esko Aho. Seriously, fuck Esko Aho.

[–]jacerb105 -2 points-1 points ago

*markka

[–]CuntHunt -2 points-1 points ago

Rape in Finland

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