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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Mr_Dmc 604 points605 points ago

Sure it's all fun and games, until the fish decide your insides need cleaning too.

[–]webby_mc_webberson 465 points466 points ago

Well then he could just swallow a bigger fish to eat the small ones.

[–]UnorthodoxGentleman 352 points353 points ago

Perhaps he'll die.

[–]wolfvision 133 points134 points ago

Why oh why?

[–]rblue 54 points55 points ago

I don't know why he swallowed that fish.

[–]poonerooni 19 points20 points ago

Did he swallow that fry?

[–]Sgthound 70 points71 points ago

Just like the old lady who swallowed a fly...

[–]roodpart 54 points55 points ago

I dunno why she swallowed that fly

[–]Xenc 186 points187 points ago

Because she had Alzheimer's.

[–]BennyWebbet 34 points35 points ago

I may have alzheimers but at least I don't have alzheimers.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 11 points12 points ago

Now she's in a nursing home.

[–]vtcapsfan 5 points6 points ago

Only on reddit

[–]flamyngo 14 points15 points ago

Perhaps she'll die.

[–]I_can_engineer_that 8 points9 points ago

How many steps until we bring in the fabulous type of Gorillas that thrives on snake meat?

[–]iNeXcf 101 points102 points ago

"A number of fish species mimic the appearance and behaviour of cleaners, then tear away scales or flesh when suitably close to the victim."

[–]zryii 24 points25 points ago

This is horrifying

[–]wickedpixel 13 points14 points ago

But how do the fish learn spanish?

[–]misanthr0p1c 26 points27 points ago

The teenager said that while holding the fish he had gone to the toilet and, while urinating, the fish had 'slipped from his hand and entered his urethra'.

[–]Smacksmackums 39 points40 points ago

Don't you hate it when that happens? It's like when Hot Wheels get caught in your ass. You're just sitting there on the toilet and as you're making your bowel movement, the toy just slips out of your hand and into your asshole. Million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.

[–]Laurentlamouche 6 points7 points ago

Nope !

[–]I_have_a_Secret 10 points11 points ago

Well they are the experts. I'd allow them to.

[–]alewar 7 points8 points ago

[–]Farisr9k 390 points391 points ago

He drowned without a speck of plaque on his teeth.

[–]must_i_say_it 109 points110 points ago

That was all I could think. "how Is he breathing?"

[–]Kado_Isuka 192 points193 points ago

He's not. Clearly he's screaming.

[–]MiketGuy 29 points30 points ago

In the ocean, no one can hear you scream.

[–]SpermWhale 42 points43 points ago

I could.

[–]wittlepup 75 points76 points ago

Just holding his breath, I assume. And filling his mouth full of tasty tasty sea water.

blech

[–]ssracer 10 points11 points ago

Tastes different down where it's cleaner. Nothing like taking a mouthful while surfing etc...

[–]smackfrog 60 points61 points ago

Scuba diver here. It's actually really dangerous to close off your airway like that. When the regulator is out of your mouth, you're supposed to exhale tiny bubbles until you get the reg back.

[–]rovingrover 112 points113 points ago

The danger only arises when ascending, as that is when air expands in the lungs that can cause serious injury. Most dive courses teach the "Never hold your breath" rule because it is very easy to ascend with full lungs, especially for novices. An experienced diver with good bouyancy control can safely hold their breath, though of course it should be avoided.

[–]smackfrog 38 points39 points ago

Yes. Thanks for clarifying.

[–]antpham 11 points12 points ago

I think you underestimate the nose's ability to be used as a breathing apparatus.

[–]wittlepup 29 points30 points ago

Underwater? I dont think he has a trunk, like an elephant

[–]bheklilr 16 points17 points ago

He does seem to have some sort of device over his nose, with tubes leading off of it. It is very possible he could have a regulator over his nose.

Edit: omegashadow pointed out that I'm wrong, whoops.

[–]omegashadow 7 points8 points ago

Nope, looked at the gif again. The goggles (dive goggles cover the nose making you unable to breath in or out through it) have no tubes going in and the tubes go to the tank and regulator (which is out of shot). It would make no sense to have tubes connecting to the top of the goggles which we can not see because the diver would not be a ble to clear his goggles. And also there would be a risk of water entering air pipes if the entire goggle unit was connected to the air supply.

[–]salec1 4 points5 points ago

And swallowed some cleaner Wrasses

[–]DaFunny1[S] 995 points996 points ago

These are cleaner Wrasses. They do this to gain brotherhood fish respect and usually have no predators. Sharks also deal with these guys to clean them and in return to protect them....The underworld dealings

[–]i_dnt_always_comment 665 points666 points ago

What if the last thing it cleaned was a turtles asshole or something?

[–]DaFunny1[S] 456 points457 points ago

It's still is dinner

[–]itsstefan 745 points746 points ago

It is still is dinner

[–]ENTP 342 points343 points ago

It is still is its dinner

[–]Mr_Brix 98 points99 points ago

[–]Pointy130 72 points73 points ago

What

The fuck

[–]zombiebden 30 points31 points ago

Its just the internet.

[–]Crim91 3 points4 points ago

Move along.

[–]GetHighr 35 points36 points ago

[–]StrangerSkies 2 points3 points ago

What is this from?

[–]JustinHopewell 2 points3 points ago

A very pretentious live show. I can't remember the name of it but there are large pieces of it on YouTube. I can admit to the possibility that I just don't get it, but it seems really pretentious.

[–]might_say_fuck_you 58 points59 points ago

Eet ees steel ees eets zupper!

[–]TILonReddit 30 points31 points ago

Still it is if it is still it is dinner.

[–]HonestAshhole 14 points15 points ago

It is a steel eat zipper.

[–]itsstefan 217 points218 points ago

That made even less sense.

[–]cbrandolino 325 points326 points ago

Almost leaves you wondering if it could have been the joke.

[–]thehunter699 128 points129 points ago

Words cannot begin to describe the mindfuckery I just went through reading these comments.

[–]NPHisKing 85 points86 points ago

Where am I?

[–]alekso56 92 points93 points ago

WHAT YEAR IS IT?

[–]Ohdang 10 points11 points ago

That's the is problem!

[–]pappagorgio 7 points8 points ago

What day is it? ... October?

[–]rotidder4lyfe 7 points8 points ago

It is still its dinner. Fuck shit stackers.

[–]foregotheparable 6 points7 points ago

dingdingding!

[–]WhateverPeopleSayIAm 1 point2 points ago

HAAAAUUUUUR boom

[–]Szarkan- 2 points3 points ago

Last chance to look at me, Hector

[–]bicuriouschild 25 points26 points ago

I think you accidentally a word

[–]DaFunny1[S] 104 points105 points ago

dont silly be

[–]sweaterbydarwin 5 points6 points ago

read it in Jacques Cousteau's voice and it makes perfect sense.

[–]Luminox 16 points17 points ago

I like turtles.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DaFunny1[S] 49 points50 points ago

Actually you should. These guys get rid of skin problems. While they eat, your feet get better.

[–]sniffles_snort 27 points28 points ago

Better: heal your feet while they eat!

[–]Karzul 7 points8 points ago

My friend's step-dad got a tank with a certain type of fish to treat a skin condition (don't think it was the same type though).

Pretty cool how part of his treatment was to just stick his hand in a tank and let fish go to town on him.

[–]Corporate_Suit 94 points95 points ago

Well that took me on a fun tour of Wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bluestreak_cleaner_wrasse

Cleaner wrasses usually can be found around cleaning stations.

Ok!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleaning_station

Humans are beginning to make use of this tendency of certain fish species to remove dead skin. Spas for fish pedicures and whole body treatments have become globally fashionable.

Hmm. Strange.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_fish

[–]ENTimate 87 points88 points ago

I thought this was interesting,

"All cleaner wrasses start their lives as females. In a group of 6–8 cleaner wrasses there is only one male, the rest are females or juveniles. The strongest female changes its sex when the male dies, an occurrence known as sequential hermaphroditism."

[–]ezbakedowen 96 points97 points ago

Very common in the fish world.

Nemo's dad would have become his mom and Nemo and mom would then have babies.

[–]fuckingcaptcha 84 points85 points ago

Finding Oedipus

[–]ENTimate 27 points28 points ago

Slightly disturbing. Hilarious nonetheless.

[–]Nocturnhabeo 13 points14 points ago

Wincest?!?! ಠ_ಠ

[–]Lodi135 13 points14 points ago

That is perhaps the most relevant use of that clip ive seen on reddit.

[–]sparklyjesus 2 points3 points ago

Isn't this also how the Jackson family operates?

[–]DaFunny1[S] 91 points92 points ago

That is right. They feed on dead skin and other stuff that's on the customers body

[–]heardlb 130 points131 points ago

I have a cleaner shrimp that does this to my clown fish

[–]Jagyr 296 points297 points ago

I was trying to work out exactly what this was a euphemism for, and then realized you probably actually have an aquarium.

[–]deez_treez 26 points27 points ago

Just keep swimming.

[–]TrustInHenry 52 points53 points ago

"Hey baby, want to see my aquarium?"

[–]HappyPuppet 31 points32 points ago

Hi I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such films as The Erotic Adventures of Hercules and Dial M for Murderishness. And yes, baby, I'd love to see your aquarium.

[–]concussedYmir 38 points39 points ago

"I'll clean your clown fish... hole"

[–]Aveque 11 points12 points ago

It's a finding nemo reference isn't it?

[–]MountainMadman 12 points13 points ago

Jacques!

[–]ZombieCupCakex22 6 points7 points ago

Oui!

[–]windsong5309 7 points8 points ago

Ah! À la mer! Bon.

[–]KoopaTheCivilian 5 points6 points ago

Finding Nemo reference

[–]ableom 40 points41 points ago

When I was in greece there was a whole lake/spring type thing where there were thousands of fish that did this.

It felt really weird having ~40 of these things eating your dead skin.

It was popular with the old folk.

[–]Tasmaniandeville 31 points32 points ago

Aren't old folks made entirely of dead skin....note to self: have Grandma update will- book trip to Greece

[–]well_fiddlesticks 6 points7 points ago

Until one fateful day, when one fish mused: I wonder what the live skin tastes like ... Edit: accidentally word

[–]MrRipley15 7 points8 points ago

In the Mediterranean, Hvar Island, off the coast of Croatia, there's a hidden nude beach, where fish similar to this will chomp on your skin... For free.

[–]the_last_fartbender 24 points25 points ago

Ultimate troll. Replace them with piranhas sneakily at night.

[–]Regiruler 30 points31 points ago

Piranhas aren't actually likely to kill you (assuming your not bleeding.) Does no-one watch river monsters?

[–]qostewo 22 points23 points ago

What a great show. He actually finds the animals he's looking for

[–]CancerousJedi 3 points4 points ago

But they still haven't found those Droids...

[–]Dear_Occupant 17 points18 points ago

I'll bet that tickles like crazy.

[–]mwolfee 9 points10 points ago

You get used to it. I went to this 'fish spa' where you could dip your legs into a pool of water with these cleaner fishes, and it was ticklish as hell at first. Kept twitching and scaring the fish away.

[–]Strawcrazyman 14 points15 points ago

I've heard they're fantastic for people with certain skin conditions.

[–]3dmonkeyarray 12 points13 points ago

I wanted to go to have one of those fish foot bath things but then I learned that the fish are poorly cared for in a lot of those places. Now I'm conflicted.

[–]AustinTreeLover 42 points43 points ago

Yeah, I went to Dr. Fish in Greece! It was awesome. There's a distinct tingling feeling that's very relaxing. And my feet looked great, they ate off all the dead skin.

When I returned to the states, I found it had just been outlawed here. The headlines for stories about it were misleading (imagine that). The headlines read things like "Pedicure Fish Made Illegal, Spread Disease".

I did some research and there have been no reported cases of the fish causing any disease, they don't cultivate HIV in their little mouths or even spread fungi. The truth is, in the U.S. there are laws that say you must either sterilize or dispose of any spa tools before using them on another person. This rule makes perfect sense most of the time. But, this is just an unusual thing. The fish needs their own regulations.

Anyway, it was fun and so far as I could find, there is no danger. Although some articles talked about potential dangers. Personally, I do things every day with higher risk factors, so, meh, I'd use the fish again.

Edit: Here are my feet getting a cleaning!

Edit: Word oops.

[–]Rokurion 4 points5 points ago

If you go to any old lake in the midwest that has minnows they will do the same thing if you sit still for a while. They are smaller though so I doubt it has nearly the same effect.

[–]newo_kat 4 points5 points ago

This happened to me while I was walking in a river. It was a terrifying experience for me and I thought I was just getting bit.

[–]zoodiary8 2 points3 points ago

thanks for the sources...

[–]n343 32 points33 points ago

On another note, I just thought of an awesome new way to catch fish. I call it "betrayal fishing".

[–]DaFunny1[S] 23 points24 points ago

GET NAKED

[–]I_have_a_Secret 47 points48 points ago

Even in nature you can find real bros.

[–]DaFunny1[S] 65 points66 points ago

That will always clean eachother's asses

[–]sharpey95 16 points17 points ago

protect them from who?

[–]DaFunny1[S] 39 points40 points ago

in case another fish wants it's body and butthole cleaned

[–]garychencool 10 points11 points ago

Makes sense.

[–]garychencool 6 points7 points ago

These fishes do these jobs so civilized life can be possible for the rest of us.

[–]manbearcub 5 points6 points ago

A species of blenny called Aspidontus taeniatus has evolved this behavior as mimicry, in order to tear small pieces of flesh from bigger fish.

Those bastards.

[–]Yetanothertroll 9 points10 points ago

But for humans, it's a sushi bar where the sushi swims right into your mouth.

[–]Yosel 145 points146 points ago

Prometheus really puts me off wanting to try this.

[–]paulwoodstudio 34 points35 points ago

Just make sure it isn't a False Cleaner Wrasse...

http://australianmuseum.net.au/False-Cleanerfish-Aspidontus-taeniatus/

[–]doctea 35 points36 points ago

This mimicry allows the False Cleanerfish to "safely" approach larger fishes and bite off pieces of fins and scales.

Oh nature, you're so mean :(

[–]venustrapsflies 22 points23 points ago

damn nature, you scary.

[–]panniculus 7 points8 points ago

God, it even looks like a douchebag in the photo.

[–]Vakoz 17 points18 points ago

[–]wah_wo_womp 3 points4 points ago

of course it's in fucking Australia, land of asshole creatures of Earth

[–]MestR 46 points47 points ago

Serious question, if the fish were sort of sterile (or already are?) would this clean the teeth?

[–]neayaa 62 points63 points ago

They 'clean' only things they can eat, like parasites and dead skin on fish. Maybe they'd clean away bit of food, but you'd still have plaque, I guess.

[–]D14BL0 62 points63 points ago

So I shouldn't quit brushing my teeth in lieu of fishing my teeth, is what you're saying?

[–]ecopoesis 11 points12 points ago

Yep -- aquatic ecologist and aquarium enthusiast here. These fish are called cleaner wrasse and are commonly found on coral reefs.

[–]terrdc 8 points9 points ago

The only real issue with being sterile would be chances of infection if the fish accidentally bit your mouth instead of whatever gunk was on it.

[–]Ayavaron 2 points3 points ago

I don't see why it wouldn't.

[–]bomberboy0618 81 points82 points ago

Fish flavored toothpaste is the next logical step from here.

[–]killzy707 114 points115 points ago

"Is this tuna or vagina flavored?"

[–]red321red321 125 points126 points ago

[–]oneslyfox 26 points27 points ago

What does a tuna's vagina taste like?

[–]KnightBlue 6 points7 points ago

A better question would be, what does a vagina's tuna taste like?

[–]Dazing 23 points24 points ago

Yes

[–]wolfvision 4 points5 points ago

Teeth flavoured fish food for those little critters

[–]IceColdCruiser 61 points62 points ago

I know it's a bit pedantic, but that is clearly not the deep sea.

[–]hazeyrayy 59 points60 points ago

Shallow and pedantic

[–]razzray 4 points5 points ago

Clearly, as any diver would know that at depth you can't take your reg out and hold your breathe...

[–]Ayavaron 37 points38 points ago

Those fish would be fucked if the guy felt like eating them.

[–]webby_mc_webberson 172 points173 points ago

Yes, but then he would have fish in his teeth and nothing to clean them with. It's a symbiotic relationship.

[–]I_have_a_Secret 31 points32 points ago

Well a shark would help clean that out pretty quickly. Just give them a chance to get real close.

Trust is the key.

[–]discipula_vitae 10 points11 points ago

While it is symbiotic, it is more specifically mutualistic. For some reason we were all taught that symbiotic means both parties have an advantage in this situation, but that just not true.

[–]Wrym 17 points18 points ago

Never swallow the Dentic!

~ Ka D'Argo

[–]hippie_sauce 3 points4 points ago

...can be eaten when heavily fried, but even then they have an unpleasant taste.

Wow. These things must be repulsive if they taste bad even when fried.

[–]takeapieandrun 14 points15 points ago

Hope your tonsils don't need cleaning

[–]Kapps 11 points12 points ago

Don't forget to floss!

[–]webby_mc_webberson 66 points67 points ago

[–]Sancer 35 points36 points ago

NO NO NO NO

[–]DisregardHumanity 20 points21 points ago

It's okay. Calm down. That is not actually floss.

[–]ADreamofRome 2 points3 points ago

Can you please tell me what species of jellyfish is this? All knowledge of cnidarians has left my brain.

[–]bricardo 7 points8 points ago

The kind you don't want to touch.

[–]ThePieGuy 18 points19 points ago

[–]niskai 3 points4 points ago

What a fantastic game.

[–]CaptainFUN 30 points31 points ago

The best part? Two seconds before filming, he put a small amount of wasabi in his mouth.

[–]wolfvision 12 points13 points ago

wasabiiiiii, So damn hot it'll burn your asshole

[–]ithinkimtim 3 points4 points ago

Just spent 20 minutes watching videos of failed Australian pop stars. Was a good laugh.

[–]restrik 5 points6 points ago

never swallow the dentic

[–]jfallon126 5 points6 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeE5ou4_jzo&feature=player_detailpage#t=33s

Reminds me of Dentics in Farscape.

Despite hating bugs...I've kind of always wanted these to exist...:/

[–]Trachyon 6 points7 points ago

This reminds me of The Bay level in Super Mario Sunshine, only reversed. You had to dive underwater and use Fludd to clean that Eel’s teeth.

[–]TwoToneDoe 1 point2 points ago

The whole time I was thinking CHOMP

[–]JasonEay 3 points4 points ago

This is one of the posts I had to go back and check to make sure I'm still in /r/funny.

[–]rekk14 3 points4 points ago

That's not deep sea.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]MediocreJim 3 points4 points ago

... "Eels good, man."

[–]InternetRich 9 points10 points ago

[–]imbapwnn00b 2 points3 points ago

Mother of purple links!

[–]Sgthound 2 points3 points ago

I think that's awesome. Nature is quite amazing.

[–]SimplySexy 2 points3 points ago

God I wish I could hold my breath that long.

[–]wats8976 8 points9 points ago

He shouldn't be holding his breath at all.

[–]Fascist_Orange 9 points10 points ago

This is exactly what I was thinking! As a scuba diver, I think he's breaking one of the cardinal rules of diving by holding his breath

[–]Lmkt 15 points16 points ago

Well I guess he'll keep doing cool things like getting his teeth cleaned by fucking fishes while you keep on breathing and living a boring life.

[–]Fascist_Orange 12 points13 points ago

air has brought me nothing but misery ಥ_ಥ

[–]stx331 4 points5 points ago

Although I'd never tell a class this it really depends on how deep you are. Samething with quick and multiple accents and descents.

[–]Lugburz5 2 points3 points ago

wait... i can open my mouth underwater?

[–]abelcc 3 points4 points ago

Don't do this, it's extremely dangerous.

If you open your mouth for long periods of time underwater all the water around you will flow inside your body, filling you up slowly with water until you explode like a balloon.

[–]Charlie92 2 points3 points ago

What if it swims down his throat?

[–]Kevince -1 points0 points ago

They also sometimes feed on live tissue etc. Bet they ate your liver and kidneys.

[–]Grassman_of_Gotham 2 points3 points ago

The average Redditor could feed these fish for MILLENIA.

[–]FDboredom 2 points3 points ago

[–]dayron422 3 points4 points ago

I did something similar in Fiji except they were 2 cleaning shrimp (like Jacque from Nemo). They climbed into my mouth and started cleaning the dead skin from my lips and gums. The tough part was holding my breath and filling my mouth with seawater while not allowing any bubbles to escape. Amazing feeling. I imagined them speaking to each other in thick French accents about my oral hygiene.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AustinTreeLover 3 points4 points ago

Yep. I did this in Greece.

[–]Asdayasman 2 points3 points ago

If you don't quite look at the image, it looks like he has some freaky tentacles tongue, and he's showing off underwater, like he's so cool, whereas he's actually a failure, and his friends only tolerate him because he's rich.

Fucking Ben.

[–]Celarcade 2 points3 points ago

This still creeps me out less than the dentist.

[–]metal111 2 points3 points ago

wheres the joke? i thought this was r/funny, but perhaps i was mistaken

[–]JintarmLubu 0 points1 point ago

It would clean your teeth but I do not think it will do wonders for your breath...

[–]Hex-Kitty 0 points1 point ago

I really want to know what it feels like.

[–]Captain_Apathy 0 points1 point ago

Fuck yeah, I'm gettin me a Huntail

[–]I_have_a_Secret 1 point2 points ago

Does this guy have gills?

[–]alastor136 0 points1 point ago

MUST. TRY. THIS.

[–]jimbroof 0 points1 point ago

i love a mouth full of salt water

[–]degucom17 -1 points0 points ago

Do you like fish sticks?

[–]negative-D 0 points1 point ago

Also: free snack at the end!

[–]Jackle13 0 points1 point ago

Or free, ultra-fresh sashimi.

[–]phileo 0 points1 point ago

If only I had a deep see in my bathroom...