I thought this would go here, I could be wrong, but it's worth a read. Puts things in a different perspective, doesn't it?

classyrobot · 2012-09-07T02:28:14+00:00

I get where this argument is coming from, but it's not one I've ever particularly liked. It almost implies that straight women are incapable of being homophobic, which clearly isn't the case.

Cheeseyx · 2012-09-07T01:57:31+00:00

That's homophobia for you. The fear that gay men are going to treat you the way you treat women.

mibeosaur · 2012-09-07T02:57:32+00:00

So homophobes are only afraid of homosexuals who are bigger and stronger than they are?

I also like this part:

Every man ... is either a harmless stranger or a potential rapist

Well, yes. Usually the harmless stranger though. In fact, overwhelmingly so. And because gay men are a subset of all men, the homophobe's fear is just as rational as the woman's!

thatget · 2012-09-07T01:13:10+00:00

I've never thought of it that way. You think that's really common a part of why some men are homophobic? Or maybe just an outlier.

lizardom · 2012-09-07T03:48:00+00:00

This actually makes a lot of sense. It's amazing how things can be put into perspective with just a few words.

I remember the first time I had another man take a pass at me. I worked at a bar doing busboy work when I was 15. A couple of men were overly complementing my eyes but I didn't really think of it. I was naive and sheltered enough that I didn't even know gay was a thing. It wasn't until a couple of the waitresses told me what they were that it all hit me. I was confused at first, then realized how nice it felt to get a compliment on my looks - no girls ever did that sort of thing.

never gave it much of a thought until several years later when I had that WTF epiphany. They were in their mid 30's flirting with a 15 year old, lol...

WokeUpOlder · 2012-09-07T02:06:22+00:00

Post this on /r/MensRights

kayura77 · 2012-09-07T01:50:39+00:00

This is something I've been trying to put into words for a long time. This is a great point.

soapwater · 2012-09-07T02:37:24+00:00

Not everything has to do with your vagina. After all, plenty of straight women are homophobic.

karmas_a_bitch_010 · 2012-09-07T01:57:54+00:00

It's sadly hilarious to me this got so few upvotes and comments; it's exactly what's happening. Male homophobes are often homophobes because they don't want to be seen and/or treated the way they see and/or treat women. If not that it's the old internalized variety and they're afraid of their own attraction to male sexuality.

Qk_Gee · 2012-09-07T02:52:30+00:00

To be honest, I don't think that the two are quite equivalent. I am a straight male, other men have made passes at me and I denied them as I am not interested in a homosexual relationship. I can see how people may think that a man flirting with a man is the same as a man flirting with a woman.

Not too confident that I can word this correctly, but here goes...

The straight male being hit on by the gay male isn't just "not interested" in gay sex, they most likely can't even fathom having it. I don't mean this as any disrespect, but I think that gay sex between males is seen in the same light to everyday people as certain fetishes (note, I'm not trying to equivocate them with fetishes, just that they're seen similarly by the average person). Take a foot fetish for example, if you don't have one, you probably think that it's pretty unappealing. The same goes for the straight male being propositioned for sex by another man.

Women, on the other hand, are propositioned for sex by the same sex they're attracted to. They may be unwanted sexual advances, but straight women are sexually attracted to that gender.

I mean this as no disrespect to anyone, just that I don't think the post was very accurate in what it was trying to say.

Thankful_Lez · 2012-09-07T03:58:24+00:00

And then there are the lucky few of us who get homophobia and sexism. We're called lesbians.

mynamestopher · 2012-09-07T04:35:50+00:00

I mostly feel awkward around girls I don't know and a lot that I do know...no rapist here

62tele · 2012-09-07T05:08:49+00:00

Maybe for some but hardly a definitive answer. As a recovered homophobe, I grew up in an environment where that was the norm, I can say this was in no way true for me or my friends. The idea of gay sex seemed gross, dirty, etc... when compared to sex with a woman -- not because I wouldn't have the power. The idea of being attracted to another man, when my biology was pretty clearly telling me that women were the fairer sex, seemed weird and gross. The influences around me were pretty clear that being gay was abnormal, immoral, biblically wrong, etc...

Luckily I grew up, thought for myself, was "rescued" by atheism and made friends who I later found out were gay and I learned to stop seeing things the way I did. Not everyone gets that opportunity.

Oh, and with the biases gone being approached by a gay man can be quite flattering.

NarutoRendan · 2012-09-07T06:13:23+00:00

sounds like rape-a-phobia. no offense, but there's a line for fearing rape, and perpetual fear is not normal.

JennaIsMe · 2012-09-07T01:46:12+00:00

There's a good point buried beneath all that exaggeration.

aloneparoo · 2012-09-07T03:44:22+00:00

Yes, because EVERY MAN EVER is a potential rapist. Obviously.

laivindil · 2012-09-07T02:22:22+00:00

I think its deeper then that. I think people tend to think of the worst things, so even if its not on a sexual level, you think that stranger may be dangerous on some other violent/dangerous level. And you fear for your safety. There is certainly a differences in peoples perceptions of danger, and what is dangerous, but I think it is a typical human reaction to let the "worst possible case" fly through their mind when evaluating a situation. And being in a strange place with a stranger (like a taxi), the likelihood of that happening is 99%.

(not trying to invalidate this, just saying I think there is more to the reaction, and its more common/human instinct then this image portrays)

edit: read it again. Where there is a perceived pass, vs an actual assault or overstepping of bounds. Since we don't know what actually happened.

shadow_link08 · 2012-09-07T04:26:06+00:00

I agree with the post, but it's kind of perpetuating rather than contradicting the fact that every gay man is a rapist.

Also, genuine question: do girls really suspect every guy of being a potential rapist? Do you really fear the possibility of rape that frequently? I've never thought about it like that, and none of my female friends have expressed it to me, so I'm genuinely curious.

bloinggloing · 2012-09-07T04:39:52+00:00

Maybe this has something to do with it, but I really think that some people are simply hateful.

o00oo00oo00o · 2012-09-07T04:57:42+00:00

Good concept and I understand the importance of the idea... but the analogy is forced. Getting groped or aggressively hit on in a space that you can't just walk away from (like a taxi) is not a good "teaching moment" to talk to young people about general sexual relations.

The line that was over the top was about "the next time you hit on someone". They were making a good point up until that moment... about how people (mostly women) have to be on high alert regarding (mostly men) in private or desolate spaces but then the OP's quote dives into an unhealthy place regarding any sexual advances and that is just wrong.

The conversation should have been about... at that point... feeling unsafe in certain environments and why... and not about "hitting on people". It's a minor point but I don't think young people should be taught that hitting on people could be similar to rape.

blackjackjester · 2012-09-07T05:03:13+00:00

Unfortunately, the way society currently works means that if a man (in a hetero relationship) does not approach a woman, or more often that not initiates conversation, then that man will rarely date. The difference between an 'unwanted advance' and 'welcome assertiveness' is not known until after the fact. On one hand, the guy is a creep. On the other, he is alpha and attractive, but we don't know until after.

There is also no reassuring way to walk between 10-30 feet behind someone else at night. It kinda sucks for both people.

retitled · 2012-09-07T05:14:21+00:00

Could be or they honestly could find gay sex disgusting which is their personal opinion. I don't believe anyone should take it personally or offensively. There are plenty of homosexual people out there that feel the straight sex is disgusting.

bohemianmichfestie · 2012-09-07T05:24:24+00:00

Absolutely brilliant. A quality example of perspective reversal. I wish it were this easy to get this point across every time.

elite_303 · 2012-09-07T05:31:17+00:00

I have taught my children to be aware and prepared. I didn't instill in them a fear that every member of the opposite sex has a 50\50 chance of raping them. let us not forget that anyone can be a rapist. Dolphins will if you give them the opportunity. Do you warn young girls about the dangers of dolphin rape?

cheesiestcheese · 2012-09-07T05:36:35+00:00

Because its an old repost and a pretty simple way of looking at things.

veganbisexualatheist · 2012-09-07T05:37:00+00:00

I mean assuming for a second that this actually happened and isn't typical Facebook esprit d'escalier, is no one else put off by how unforgivably snide this person is to some who ostensibly just admitted to being propositioned against his will? Social Justice is not about using the misery of your opponents to shove ideology into their faces. There is a time and a place for explaining gender dynamics and the risk of victimisation faced by minority groups - and that time is most certainly not right after someone spilled their guts to you about a scary situation in their lives.

To paraphrase my favourite character from the West Wing (Leo :3) "Now, we have standards for justice, and they are difficult and they have to be enforced and it's right that they are enforced. But we do not strut ever."

massaikosis · 2012-09-07T06:21:16+00:00

some men dont really give a shit if they get hit on. I just take the compliment and say im not interested, zero fucks. and you could make the case that other men could use force for any reason, not just sexually. I dont worry that every other guy is gona take my wallet. so much assuming here. lighten up

JediMasterSam · 2012-09-07T06:52:21+00:00

I get asked sometimes whether I care that my roommate is gay and I'm not. I always reply that I'm the farthest thing that a gay Guy wants. Even further off than a woman.

sawyeh · 2012-09-07T06:58:09+00:00

Post this in r/feminism !

X-Reddit · 2012-09-07T07:07:45+00:00

Schrodinger's Rapist

StraightTrippin · 2012-09-07T07:12:29+00:00

women REALLY worry about being raped by EVERY guy they see in public? if im in the room with a homosexual, i dont automatically assume he wants to sex me... sorry thats just what i understood after reading this

Killhouse · 2012-09-07T03:06:45+00:00

Yes, treating all men as potential rapists is true gender equality, you stuck up bitch.

wheresmysmokes · 2012-09-07T03:12:34+00:00

I think this is truer than some would like to admit. When you have advances towards you that are consistently turned down, it's so uncomfortable and I'm not just saying that. I can forgive anyone for trying once, but I hate it when I tell them I have a boyfriend, and old men start insulting him. It's unfortunate.

CheetahSauce · 2012-09-06T20:30:52-07:00

You're god damn right. That's why I dont let guys buy me drinks at the bar. I by them drinks so I can walk away and there is no conformation to be had.

InfamousKelso · 2012-09-07T04:03:34+00:00

You should xpost this to TwoX

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