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all 85 comments

[–]lukeallyn 134 points135 points ago

ah yes... the penis witch

I could not stop my self from laughing from just this line alone!

LOL

[–]Kage2021 9 points10 points ago

I think the last line is better, it just adds that epic note you know. I felt like the rest was good, but that last line man, it had the Tolkein that tale needed.

[–]Mikeyrcks 0 points1 point ago

Thats the line that broke my 1000 yard stare.

[–]sebtoast 6 points7 points ago

[–]DooDooBrownz 2 points3 points ago

this is my favorite thread today. penis witch and pussy troll will be used often and on daily basis.

[–]Kiwiteepee 16 points17 points ago

An upvote cannot correctly purvey the elation you felt while reading that first line.

[–]ouenpoke 1 point2 points ago

An upvote cannot correctly purvey the fellation you felt while reading that first line.

FTFY.

[–]Roached_N_Weeded 2 points3 points ago

the penis witch.....the sole, eternal enemy for the grand Queef Wizard.

[–]gudvibez -1 points0 points ago

i like it... nice story..

[–]Muame 1 point2 points ago

I'm crying from the imagery!

[–]ErroneousDylan 0 points1 point ago

It took me a few just to get past that sentence. The best part for sure.

[–]sonrisita 0 points1 point ago

that line made me snort so loud, it scared my dogs.

[–]spencerz -3 points-2 points ago

She dwells in the forest of phallus amongst the tallest of shlong trees.

Hilarious

[–]bansaku 38 points39 points ago

Honestly, this is why I never want kids. Have you ever tried to get semen stains out of a scale cuirass? Fucking impossible.

[–]Bx32 11 points12 points ago

There's your problem. You have to use chain shirt. It gives good protection, it's easy to move in, and it cleans up easily.

[–]Kiwiteepee 16 points17 points ago

Leather Jerkin.

[–]Erodos 3 points4 points ago

Leather Jerkin? I hardly know 'er!

[–]djbriandamage 2 points3 points ago

Scale cuirass? I hardly know 'im!

[–]SmoothWD40 3 points4 points ago

Just put it inside a ball with some vinegar and have your squires kick it around a bit. BAM, shinny clean chain shirt!

[–]HolocaustExaggerated -2 points-1 points ago

[–]CanadaVsBears 10 points11 points ago

That story reminded me of the plot to the Candyland board game.

[–]Gunnmitten 9 points10 points ago

There was a plot?

[–]kaji823 5 points6 points ago

On drugs there's always a plot

[–]Thisusernameistaken8 6 points7 points ago

Reading this in Paarthunax's voice somehow made it even funnier.

[–]mojoheartbeat 8 points9 points ago

Hello sweden! : )

[–]RedditIsJustAsBad[S] 6 points7 points ago

Hejsan!

[–]Hurp4Derp4 0 points1 point ago

shoosanhejsan!

[–]SirSprinkles 3 points4 points ago

Hola

[–]papalassassin 2 points3 points ago

I read this while waiting in a hallway full of students waiting for a college class and I couldn't stop laughing.. TIL it is not wise to browse reddit in the presence of others.

[–]BraveHeart89 3 points4 points ago

"kommentaren har fatt för många negativa röster"... I laughed way more when my friend tried to read this...

[–]OpenGLaDOS -2 points-1 points ago

[–]isaacnator 3 points4 points ago

TIL my father is a warrior. I have a new found respect for that man.

[–]Squalor- 2 points3 points ago

This is the "How It's Made" he was watching:

"How It's Made: Honey"

[–]lukemill 2 points3 points ago

You see George Michael, when a man needs to prove to a woman that he actually...

[–]oshkoshjosh 0 points1 point ago

I feel like if I read that to a second grade class it would be okay.

[–]FerociousImbecile 1 point2 points ago

How can we tell the OP is unemployed and living in his parent's spare room?

[–]bumhead81 0 points1 point ago

I am a penis witch.

[–]7xovr 0 points1 point ago

That is an epic response.

[–]Jokse 0 points1 point ago

Imagine watching a documentary about it on Discovery channel

[–]Spinwheeling 1 point2 points ago

I love snarky Youtube comments

[–]00vapour 0 points1 point ago

More realistically there would be horrible puns which are now hilarious.

[–]DirtyMuneca 0 points1 point ago

  • Yo, I'm Cuban, B.
  • Ah yes, Cuban B.

[–]kralrick 0 points1 point ago

I love How It's Made. I've been made fun of many times for watching 'such a boring show.'

[–]TheSkiFreeYeti 0 points1 point ago

This is the story that I will now tell every child.

[–]Vulturas 0 points1 point ago

The sad part is about the 2nd kid's random insulting. The first guy might have been trolling (I hope), but lets be honest. You don't need to insult everyone in your sight.

[–]godofall7 1 point2 points ago

HOLY FUCK MY OFFICE THINKS I'M RETARDED FOR LAUGHING SO LOUDLY.

[–]theclownhasnopenis 0 points1 point ago

Could not stop laughing. Mainly because I'm a penis witch.

[–]DrDebG 0 points1 point ago

I now believe it is possible to fall in love with someone on the basis of a single post on YouTube.

[–]doodiewizard 0 points1 point ago

fuck fuck fuck cant stop laughing at work fuck.

[–]KeepInKitchen 0 points1 point ago

What is she doing with all those hairs?

[–]sm0kie420 0 points1 point ago

[–]rchaining 0 points1 point ago

As a penis witch, I can confirm this.

[–]Latimus 0 points1 point ago

HOW IS BABBY FORMED?

HOW IS BABBY FORMED

HOW GIRL GET PREGNET

[–]thegreatbradsby 0 points1 point ago

The sad thing about this beautiful comment is that it was on YouTube and the person who it was being directed at, likely has no idea that this person is belittling them.

[–]jackie4244 0 points1 point ago

For some reason I read this in Ron Swanson's voice.

[–]Bwong858 0 points1 point ago

Andddd...This is how religion is born

[–]Aleksander73 0 points1 point ago

How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?

[–]chickenfun1 0 points1 point ago

"A worker inserts the penis into the vagina."

[–]viktorpedia 0 points1 point ago

upvoted for schlong trees

[–]jackieskellington85 0 points1 point ago

i want to marry that person.

[–]CreepyPunGuy 1 point2 points ago

I bet that was hard for him to swallow.

[–]bronymobile 1 point2 points ago

Dicks

[–]arabjuice 0 points1 point ago

Think of all the puns they could have for the narrator on that one...

[–]d_compo -2 points-1 points ago

Dammit, and I thought the Stalk had something to do with it this whole time. Although...does the Stalk deliver babies for the Penis Witch?

[–]xCassiopeiAx 1 point2 points ago

Stork* :)

[–]d_compo 0 points1 point ago

Lol I was reading it and thought "...it really doesn't look right..." but couldn't be bothered looking it up. Thanks!

[–]xCassiopeiAx 0 points1 point ago

;)

[–]diego91 0 points1 point ago

I haven't laughed so hard in a while.

[–]ArgonGryphon -2 points-1 points ago

Is it crazy that I have a character that can accurately be described as a "Penis witch"?

[–]Turdsworth 1 point2 points ago

8 seasons of how it's made are available on Netflix streaming now.

[–]waltsnider 0 points1 point ago

My son and I watch one each night. It's a great show, though the soundtrack could be updated a bit.

[–]I_Will_Be_That_Guy 0 points1 point ago

Can someone get shitty watercolour to make a penis witch?

[–]RedditIsJustAsBad[S] 5 points6 points ago

I've actually met her once, she looks like this: http://i.imgur.com/GSNb8.jpg

But I would sure appreciate another picture.

[–]travisthefairy 2 points3 points ago

I thought you were saying you met Shitty_Watercolour and I got confused at the picture...

[–]RedditIsJustAsBad[S] 1 point2 points ago

Ah! No, beleive it or no, that's the penis witch I was trying to draw!

[–]travisthefairy 2 points3 points ago

I believe it now!

[–]Nicked777 0 points1 point ago

Sounds better in Abed's voice.

[–]Swooshing 0 points1 point ago

how is babby formed?

[–]TheTician 0 points1 point ago

This comment on youtube should have more up-thumbs. Here's the link directly to the comment.

[–]bakemonster 0 points1 point ago

Ey Svenne

[–]meltdownup -2 points-1 points ago

Penis witch. LAWLZ.

[–]dcgi -4 points-3 points ago

So it's come to this, screenshots of youtube comments ಠ_ಠ

Come on reddit, let's not upvote this shit.