I must say I've had a similar situation. I had a customer who had a new 17 inch Toshiba Laptop who still used dial-up as a ISP. The laptop did not have a modem, however it had a plastic window where the modem would have been if it had been soldered on the board. I told the customer it wasn't there,that it was a generic window in case it did have a modem, and he disagreed with me saying it was behind the plastic window. He proceeded to take a drill, drill a hole in the side of the laptop and took a phone cord, cut off the end and shove it into the drilled hole. He came back in and showed us what he did, he wondering why it wasn't working. I must say everyone in the store had the hardest time not laughing.