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all 188 comments

[–]sundogdayze 101 points102 points ago

Do any girlfriends still exist that think their boyfriends don't have a fap folder/watch porn?

[–]SonicFlash01 8 points9 points ago

Do any boyfriends still exist that don't know about private/incognito tabs?

[–]cumfarts 39 points40 points ago

I don't clear my history to get rid of porn. I clear my history so no one knows I use reddit. Any one in real life finding out about this shithole would embarrass me more than the most deviant type of porn you can imagine. After I clear my history I usually visit a few porn sites so it looks legit.

[–]imbetterimback 1 point2 points ago

I only browse in incognito mode

[–]stevejFTW 4 points5 points ago

Am I the only one who doesn't download porn? What is the point when you can visit a website and stream thousands of different ones??

[–]Evi1M4chine 21 points22 points ago

PROTIP: When you visit a website or stream something, you are downloading it. Same thing. Just that you choose to delete it afterwards (when closing your browser/tab), instead of just keeping it.

Geez… kids these days…

[–]MoleMcHenry 2 points3 points ago

I've found that I prefer the full 2 hour porn as opposed to seeing it in low quality broken up into 20 minute chunks. Plus I can go back to it because I wouldn't save porn links on my computer. And lastly no buffering.

[–]Shadow647 5 points6 points ago

Glorious 1080p boobs.

[–]garotte80 4 points5 points ago

Don't you find that porn can sometimes be TOO hd?

[–]uberhellie 8 points9 points ago

First World Problem: my porn is too high definition.

[–]IMGONNAFUCKYOURMOUTH 3 points4 points ago

No.

[–]darwin2500 1 point2 points ago

Foraging behavior.

[–]BeneBreadstick 34 points35 points ago

Haha, I know my boyfriend has a fap folder. We watch them together usually. I think porn is sexy as hell and masturbation is healthy. I do it, he does it. I do it when I can't sleep, for instance. Hell, we even talk about other girls boobs and butts etc. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird but I thought that's what trusting relationships were about? We're not swingers or anything either, I did that once in a relationship and the relationship went to hell.

The only thing my boyfriend should be worried about is if I found him talking to other women, like sexually, on the internet. He can talk to other women as friends. I would never want him to be nervous or hide anything like that from me.

[–]MindlessDreamer 4 points5 points ago

Twist: You're a man

[–]AustinTreeLover 8 points9 points ago

I watch porn too and my boyfriend knows it, but I still don't want him going through my browser history. I admit this post made me immediately go delete my history. We've watched porn together, too, but my private porn time is private porn time and I definitely watch stuff when he's not around that I wouldn't watch with him.

I mean, he knows I poop, too, but I prefer to keep that time to myself. A little mystery is not always a bad thing.

[–]sundogdayze 18 points19 points ago

Same here. Maybe I am a horrible friend, but when a girl I know was all upset cause she found out her boyfriend had been surfing redtube or whatever, I kind of laughed at her. I told her that any guy she could ever date (aside from some seriously strong-willed religious guys) either watched porn or they were liars.

[–]okmkz 19 points20 points ago

watched porn or they were liars

Why not both?

[–]okmkz 5 points6 points ago

Why is that a .png?

[–]dont_be_scared 47 points48 points ago

Because fuck you, that's why.

[–]okmkz 16 points17 points ago

Good point.

[–]publ1c_stat1c -3 points-2 points ago

Because lossless compression.

[–]mehblahwhatever 1 point2 points ago

I didn't start fapping until about a week before I turned 19. Don't get me wrong, I fap like an addict now, but if someone never starts, it's possible for someone to not fap.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ZombieKingKong -3 points-2 points ago

Or gay

[–]NigelKF 3 points4 points ago

Gay doesn't mean asexual. You know damn well that there is tons of gay porn. Gay people watch porn.

[–]UnholyDemigod 5 points6 points ago

It really shits me when people say masturbation is fine because it's healthy. People don't jerk off/finger bang because it's healthy, they do it because it feels good.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 27 points28 points ago

Healthy, as in not deviant. They don't mean that it's equivalent to a garden salad.

[–]Wolligepoes 0 points1 point ago

Nature made it feel good for us because it is healthy. Sugar and fats should be healthy too but now that we can get lot of it we eat TOO MUCH of that shit. You know how water is good for you? Well people have died of drinking too much water. And by that I do NOT mean drowning. Alcohol is good if you are older then 23 and drink slightly less then 1 consumption a day. People who drink 1 glass of wine a day generally die later then people who never drink. Too much masturbation is bad too. A brazillian teenager died from a heart attack after masturbating 42 times straight. An average fap makes your lifespan two hours longer though. Of course you won't be immortal if you fap 12 times a day. It a shame you won't. So, A fap a day keeps the doctor away.

[–]iamNebula 0 points1 point ago

Whenever I'm ill or have a headache I have a fap and it always works and helps.

[–]Wolligepoes 0 points1 point ago

I am never in the mood for that when I'm sick.

[–]iamNebula 0 points1 point ago

I know but trust me, it works

[–]Wolligepoes 0 points1 point ago

Riiiiiiight. How did you learn this. You tried it out yourself didnt you?

[–]iamNebula 0 points1 point ago

Whenever I'm ill or have a headache I have a fap and it always works and helps.

Not sure if stupid or..

[–]Wolligepoes 0 points1 point ago

Yeah but why did you ever start doing it while you were sick or had a headache. You just woke up one morning and you felt sick and you thought to yourself: "Hey, let's jack myself off!"?

[–]cuttinace 0 points1 point ago

Informative. I like it. MORE!

[–]jhmartin 1 point2 points ago

It is typically held that it does provide some mental health benefits though.

[–]jhmartin 2 points3 points ago

I think its extremely healthy to be in such a trusting relationship. My gf and I are capable of going with mutual friends of ours (some of them girls) to topless beaches and what not without there being a big deal that I can see my friends boobs. We like to point out which girls tits are fake as a beach game. I think people make too big of a deal of bodies.

[–]soochosaurus 1 point2 points ago

you just explained what me and my girlfriend do.. you sound exactly like her. She also had a "swinger" type thing in a previous relationship that went downhill. She also thinks she's weird, now I can reassure both of you that neither of you are weird.

[–]Uphoria 1 point2 points ago

My sister and her fiance are so bad at it I usually can't be around them for long.

[–]Wolligepoes 0 points1 point ago

Either not weird or weird in a good way. Also referred to as "special"

[–]BabyFire -4 points-3 points ago

Well, indulging in fantasy chat with another partner online is okay as long as they aren't anywhere near local or it's anonymous chats. If he chats with the wife down the street, then we've got a problem.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 8 points9 points ago

As a male, I can say that there is certainly something wrong with that. Cheating is a highly subjective act, that can be anything from a glance, to full-on intercourse. I draw the line at sexual conversations of any sort, be they online or in person. And before you reply with a rebuttal, remember that the brain is the largest sex organ of them all. Without mental stimulation, sex (orgasm) would be pretty much impossible.

[–]BabyFire 1 point2 points ago

I can see your point. What really needs to be spread is open communication, and to know how your partner feels. It's easy to jump into a relationship without discussing these factors, but to get a better understand about your situation, and if the relationship will last, everyone should discuss their views about this subjective matter of "cheating" with their partner. In my current situation what I described is okay with both parties. So, I'm sorry that I generalized my statement. I should have made it inclusive to the type of relationship I'm involved in.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 2 points3 points ago

Fair enough. I think you hit the nail on the proverbial head. Setting expectations is pretty much a rule to live by in personal and business reltionships.

[–]cumfarts 0 points1 point ago

remember that the brain is the largest sex organ of them all.

speak for yourself

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 2 points3 points ago

I'm told that I am a great setup guy. I also do wingman work too.

[–]Wolligepoes 1 point2 points ago

Finishing without mental stimulation would certainly be easier then finishing without a penis. Or a clitoris of course.

[–]MoleMcHenry 4 points5 points ago

There's a such thing as emotional cheating. A middle aged housewife neighbor of mine used to flirt with some guy she met in an AOL chat room a few years ago. She used to basically cyber with another guy because this other guy could give her what her husband couldn't. Virtually of course.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 1 point2 points ago

How can you deny the existence of a subjective feeling? It's one thing to say that you don't feel that cyber sex is a form of cheating, but to say it doesn't exist is patently false. You might as well say that emotions don't exist, as that's pretty much the bottom line here.

[–]angrylawyer 2 points3 points ago

Yes. My ex-gf and I were driving back from the lake and I don't even remember how it came up but I mentioned my porn folder in some story I was telling, and she got furious. It turned into one of those 'what? I'm not enough for you?! I'm not pretty enough? You have to get off to other women because I respect myself to much to suck somebody's dick on camera?'

It hurt quite a bit, mainly because while I felt everybody knew I had a porn folder, it was the first time I'd ever out right told a girlfriend and it basically blew up in my face.

[–]sundogdayze -1 points0 points ago

That really sucks. It shouldn't have anything to do with the girl's self esteem; unless of course the guy is expecting her to live up to a porn star's level of performance. But in my experience, most guys don't really do that, like how most girls don't really compare the guy they love with heroes in romance movies or books. Also, I'm no machine; I don't have the time or energy to hop in the bed every time my bf gets an urge, so the fap folder comes in handy for both of us.

[–]GoryWizard 0 points1 point ago

How long did the relationship last after that?

[–]MechaToast 0 points1 point ago

Depends on what you're looking at...

[–]iamNebula 0 points1 point ago

Who the fuck goes in a computer and looks at the internet history anyway

[–]RaichuALoveS0ng -1 points0 points ago

Yes

[–]Lunchboxx24 51 points52 points ago

Havent u heard of incognito mode?

[–]Rountree85 2 points3 points ago

*you

Seriously, it's only two extra letters. Is it really that difficult to type out the entire word?

[–]bopoqod[S] 19 points20 points ago

I have, but since it's my computer and no-one else but me usually goes on it, I sometimes forget about that feature. But when I walk into the room to see my girlfriend browsing, the sweat just drips off me.

[–]xb4r7x 50 points51 points ago

Why not just be honest with her? Is it just porn? Or are you looking at fucked up weird /r/clopclop shit?

Most stable couples have this shit sorted out...

[–]Firetaffer 47 points48 points ago

stable couples

nice job

[–]iamNebula 2 points3 points ago

I thought id be the only on who noticed this

[–]siegewolf 26 points27 points ago

Hah, the link is purple. Sweet.

[–]RaichuALoveS0ng 12 points13 points ago

Because some GFs don't like it?

[–]MoleMcHenry 2 points3 points ago

Weird shit like this aside, why the hell are people so obsessed with My Little Pony?

[–]MadHauk -1 points0 points ago

Because it's good.

[–]The_GenuineArticle 0 points1 point ago

You spelled mediocre wrong

[–]MadHauk 0 points1 point ago

I guess that is a matter of opinion, but compared to many other cartoons and TV-shows beeing made these days even good is an understatement.

[–]The_GenuineArticle 0 points1 point ago

I don't know what the fucking problem it is with you fucking bronies. Seriously. You think that show is complete fucking godsend. It's not. Really. Regular Show. Adventure Time. There are alternatives. MLP isn't good. Its mediocre. I've seen it. It's okay. Nothing special. Stop making a big shit out of it, really.

[–]MadHauk 0 points1 point ago

Call me crazy, but I think you're the one making a big deal here..

[–]The_GenuineArticle 1 point2 points ago

Eh, I've dealt with a lot of Bronies. A lot. Each one uses the same arguments. It just pisses me off. Anyways, look man, I don't care what you like, just don't argue that all other shows nowadays are bad compared to your ponyfare. The point is, everyone thinks everything's awesome when they're kids, and as they grow older, they start to wise up, and discover that everything down to the shows they used to watch have somehow lowered in quality. In short, no, they haven't gotten worse, YOU just got older. Yet despite that fact, you still managed to fall victim to hype. So yeah, do whatever you want. I'm done commenting

[–]Murderthon3001 1 point2 points ago

As someone who frequents that subreddit, most of the artists are women and have no problems with "weird shit"

[–]DeathbatMaggot 0 points1 point ago

I'm a clopper.

[–]bopoqod[S] -5 points-4 points ago

Actually, in reality, my girlfriend and I are totally fine with each-other looking at porn. Sometimes she catches me and has a laugh about it, and sometimes she even watches it with me.

[–]feverdream 42 points43 points ago

So this whole post is bullshit?

[–]skakruk 4 points5 points ago

youreallythinksomeonewoulddothat.jpg

[–]bopoqod[S] 20 points21 points ago

This post is supposed to be a joke. You honestly think even half the reactions on this subreddit are true?

[–]playfulpenis 17 points18 points ago

You just said the sweat drips off you..

[–]Commisar -1 points0 points ago

it puts the lotion on it's skin; or else it gets the hose again.......

[–]ptdaisy 10 points11 points ago

The thing is, as a woman, I get tired of these stereotypes. It just makes it sound like the unreasonable, controlling OAG = vast majority of women. I know there are some out there but there are also reasonable and stable women as well. I dunno, I just became much less ok with this joke when I found out it was baseless and kind of sexist. Not saying you are necessarily a bad guy, you might just benefit from at things from a woman's perspective a bit more and be more conscientious.

The gif was funny though. Cute owl is cute.

[–]Atheist101 2 points3 points ago

reddit is gonna burn your karma to the ground

[–]MaximilianKohler -2 points-1 points ago

It's a stupid joke. You couldn't think up a real reason to be nervous so you had to make up an unrealistic lie that perpetuates hiding things from your significant other, as well as generally having to hide who you are and the things you enjoy or want to look at or learn about.

We need less of this.

[–]Enzie1991 2 points3 points ago

[–]abledanger 9 points10 points ago

You're not really new here, so I'm not sure what you've been doing with your time on Reddit.

[–]Enzie1991 0 points1 point ago

It is only on rare occasions like these, where I am presented with the weird side of reddit.

[–]Westykins 1 point2 points ago

lol stable.

[–]Ethosia 1 point2 points ago

Get the extension Click & Clean, enable the option to "delete all history on exit", proceed to browse recklessly without worry.

[–]SonicFlash01 0 points1 point ago

I'm single and live alone, and I still have not a shred of porno evidence on any of my computers. You have to be prepared at all times. Plan for every eventuality.

[–]84_times_5 1 point2 points ago

My ad block doesn't work on incognito mode.

[–]darthstumpy -3 points-2 points ago

Incognito mode is a shitty pain in the ass. With Firefox I could just set it to clear my history automatically when I closed the browser, but now Firefox has started crashing on me, and I have to use Chrome. I don't know how so many people can use this awful browser.

[–]Commisar 0 points1 point ago

i still likes me some firefox......

[–]lagspike 5 points6 points ago

even if you deleted your history beforehand...

she knows.

in fact, if your history doesnt have porn in it, she knows you are looking at REALLY bad stuff since you are being so deliberate to hide it.

[–]naturalcauzes 12 points13 points ago

"The hell is 'DVDA'?" - Your Girlfriend

[–]electrolemon 14 points15 points ago

IT'S JUST A BAND SWEETIE

[–]naturalcauzes 2 points3 points ago

What would Brian Boitano do, if were here right now?

[–]Evi1M4chine 1 point2 points ago

DVDA, of course. ;)

[–]lustre12 4 points5 points ago

Just googled this; my favorite comment:

"oh yah for sure, when you sit down, and crunch the data, when you do the double anal, double vaginal math... the only conclusion is gay"

                                                                -@drian

[–]cumfarts 1 point2 points ago

nothing is gay if it happens inside a woman

[–]The_Hindu_Hammer 1 point2 points ago

Haha, I had this asked to me by a girl just last weekend. I told her and got the classic slap on the arm + giggle + "oh my gawwd!"

[–]tastyscavenger 8 points9 points ago

sounds like you missed a opportunity to show her first hand.

[–]revolverocelot 4 points5 points ago

or second, third, or fourth hand...

[–]Evi1M4chine 1 point2 points ago

and second, third, and fourth hand...

There, fixed that for ya.*


(* Omitting the link, since it’s not safe for anyone to visit. Just look up “triple (anal) fisting” yourself, if you have to, and pray you’re not ending up with the German tranny one. ;)

[–]The_Hindu_Hammer 2 points3 points ago

My best friend's very recently ex-gf... T.T

[–]tastyscavenger -1 points0 points ago

D.M.H.S.

[–]TJSomething 0 points1 point ago

I doubt he has enough friends to do that. Unless he has four dicks.

[–]tastyscavenger 1 point2 points ago

you don't? probably should have that checked.

[–]Evi1M4chine -2 points-1 points ago

“Berie und Ert” anyone? ;)

[–]syrah900 3 points4 points ago

My wife jokingly gives me shit when she uses my laptop, types youtube and youporn automatically appears.

[–]thantik 5 points6 points ago

diversify: tblop.com

[–]syrah900 0 points1 point ago

Holy crap! The motherload! Thanks!

[–]Marowak 6 points7 points ago

Men who don't use incognito mode garner no sympathy from me.

[–]derekdanger -3 points-2 points ago

how does one do this? You know, for science...

edit: I'm a fucking idiot and deserve downvotes.

[–]Marowak -1 points0 points ago

Get the fuck out.

[–]derekdanger -4 points-3 points ago

Fuck me. I was looking in options, I will now downvote both of my posts and lay here and die, as I deserve.

[–]NBAallstar 2 points3 points ago

I was searching /r/gifsound since it was one the front page earlier, your post reminded me of this one labelled "I left home and forgot to close /gonewild". Pretty accurate.

[–]RaichuALoveS0ng 6 points7 points ago

[–]andiepandie10 0 points1 point ago

Or maybe they do..

[–]Nokwatkwah 5 points6 points ago

I kind of believe in a thing, don't hide anything from her. I wouldn't particularly mind if my boyfriend jerked off to porn..as long as he didn't hide jerking off to porn from me. I don't need to know when he does it what he does it to, just make sure he tells me he jerks off to porn and then we both agree that that's ok. That's what I believe in, anyway.

Edit: .."or what he does it to.." no no no, as long as it's nothing too..weird, then I'd have to know and if it's too weird I'd just run away.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]thesircuddles 1 point2 points ago

I remember those days.

Now I have a wife that I trust and who trusts me, and we feel no need to hide anything. Having been one of the people that have actually made that face before, it's truly amazing to be able to leave your computer on, unlocked, and completely open with no worry of anything.

[–]Cromlech 2 points3 points ago

This happened to me recently but as a teacher when I let a student in class use my tablet. Some of those bookmarks... Well I was just lucky she didn't go to any website with a URL that starts with X.

[–]mongzords -2 points-1 points ago

At least you have one.

Tfw no gf.

[–]thefuckdude 1 point2 points ago

[–]eIhefe 1 point2 points ago

*When anyone is on my computer and I remembered to delete my history

[–]Eddyoshi -1 points0 points ago

Why not just use inprivate search?

[–]redmachined 1 point2 points ago

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle

[–]apullin 0 points1 point ago

So? She'll find out that you're looking up video of girls on the toilet, and she'll realize that's something you want to see, and start giving you the real-life version of that. Sounds like a fine outcome to me.

[–]David_Jay 0 points1 point ago

Have you people never heard of private browsing?

[–]bcd87 0 points1 point ago

Firefox -> Extra -> Options -> Privacy -> Never remember history (or something along those lines, I'm using a localized version). You're welcome.

[–]just_the_tip_ 1 point2 points ago

someone likes to go on spacedicks..

[–]everlast756 0 points1 point ago

When this happens to me I silently pray they don't hit the letters "Y," "H," or "S" in the address bar of my browser.

[–]BreSput 1 point2 points ago

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

yeah im not a big fan of that either

[–]Smaktat 0 points1 point ago

"I want to tell Reddit about the only GF I'll ever have as I just got her." - What I think of every gf thread on Reddit.

[–]Brimshae 0 points1 point ago

"Just use Chrome. I've got too many tabs open in Firefox."

[–]IMGONNAFUCKYOURMOUTH 0 points1 point ago

Sado.

[–]feeish 0 points1 point ago

I was on a girls computer watching netflix. We ended up talking about funny youtube video and she typed in "you" for youtube.com but first result in the firefox url bar was youporn.com

[–]evilmeow -1 points0 points ago

There are so many problems with this submission:

  1. You were supposed to use incognito

  2. Why would your girlfriend inspect your browsing history?

  3. Why would she disapprove of you looking at porn?

  4. If she is that type of girl, why would you still be together? (and in case it's relevant, I am a girl)

[–]Evi1M4chine 9 points10 points ago

There are so many problems with this comment:

  1. He was supposed to be a man and stand by it.
  2. Ever heard of the Awesome bar?
  3. Why did you suggest point 1 and 2 then? You’re contradicting yourself. (Because you’re not thinking rationally.)
  4. Because a relationship (which you apparently never had) depends on more than just one factor? Let alone such an unimportant one.

[–]IS_ACTUALLY_A_DOG 3 points4 points ago

Because teenagers.

[–]reposter_ 0 points1 point ago

I am a girl AMA

[–]DigitalChocobo -1 points0 points ago

  1. He forgot (not a good excuse)

  2. Auto complete, recent tabs

  3. and 4. He looks at really fucked up porn

[–]somethingreat 0 points1 point ago

As a member of /r/nofap, this problem no longer bothers me. Coincidentally, I don't give a crap if people use my computer anymore.

[–]GoryWizard 0 points1 point ago

Are you prone to other addictions as well, or are you just a sex addict?

[–]somethingreat 0 points1 point ago

Nope, just porn, and not a sex addict. I don't drink, smoke, try to get laid, or abuse drugs. Pornography and the subsequent dopamine release is addictive, and many people can't stop looking at porn for that reason.

It has a negative effect on morale, makes people less daring when it comes to dating, and can make you an overall unhappy person. I haven't fapped for almost 2 months now, and I feel fantastic.

Eye contact is easy. Socializing is easier. I asked out 4 girls in the first two weeks on campus, and 1 asked me out. I don't care if people judge me as much anymore, because I have nothing to hide.

If you're really interested, visit /r/nofap and watch the Your Brain on Porn series.

[–]pooprscooper 1 point2 points ago

Obviously a member of /r/nogirlfriend too

[–]somethingreat 0 points1 point ago

I'm actually dating right now lololol

[–]revolverocelot -1 points0 points ago

I laughed at this, and she goes "Why's that so funny!?"

Uh oh.

[–]procrasturbating_nun 1 point2 points ago

My boyfriend never deletes his search history, I really wish he did. I don't want him to know what fucked up things I look at on the internet. So I either go incognito, or delete my history. Just to be courteous. Regretfully, I have seen some of what he looks at. We browse some of the same porn sites and I can tell when a video has previously been viewed.

Granny squirting, a legless midget woman, and a video compilation of body building women getting sperm rubbed into their faces are some of the many things I have mistakenly become aware of. I watch some pretty strange things too, so I don't judge him for it. I'd probably watch a lot of the same things on my own anyway. I just wish he'd delete his history! It's good to keep a little bit of mystery in a relationship. I know he'd hate to find out what porn I watch, and might even feel slightly jealous. So I try to remember to delete my history for his sake.

[–]Pretiacruento 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like your bf knows about /r/spacedicks.

[–]procrasturbating_nun 0 points1 point ago

Surprisingly, he doesn't.

[–]Pretiacruento 0 points1 point ago

Hmm, that's what he wants you to think... you sure?

[–]procrasturbating_nun 0 points1 point ago

He doesn't even know what Reddit is.

He also doesn't know how to find the search history unless he Googles it.

[–]Pretiacruento 1 point2 points ago

You're a lucky woman, then! ;)

[–]Colemaj 1 point2 points ago

It's just a gif of michael cera. I don't get it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]nachtmere 10 points11 points ago

This sounds mildly unhealthy?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]pandagron 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, uh, I'm sure the stuff he looks at is totally better, like, morally.

WTF is his problem?

[–]natleeis 0 points1 point ago

Google Chrome Incognito.

You're welcome.

[–]Alexthegreatbelgian 0 points1 point ago

Ctrl+Shift+P is the answer

[–]nolljosh -4 points-3 points ago