this post was submitted on
570 points (76% like it)
830 up votes 260 down votes

zombies

unsubscribe61,252 readers

~43 users here now

ATROPHY CASE what's this?
Infected Marksman

/r/Zombies' raison de la mort is to host submissions regarding gatherings, movies, books, music, theater, speculative science, and games featuring the flesh (and/or brain) eating dead. Non-zombie "zombie" news (re: banks, computers) will be deleted. If you have doubts, or are just wondering whether your nascent question has been ridden into the ground already, check out our FAQ.

When posting a link please do not use url shorteners or your post will wind up being removed. This now includes comments too!


SPOILERS can be hidden by formatting your text, thusly:

Copy the following and replace Your spoiler here with your spoiler there - leave the quotes!
[Spoiler](/s "Your spoiler here")

It will look like this:
Spoiler


If you think a post of yours has been unjustly "autobanned," please contact the moderator. If you are going to REPORT a post or a thread, please message the moderator with an explanation, otherwise he will likely ignore it.


And remember, report any instance of outbreak here first.


Other subreddits of interest:

/r/Horror/
/r/Lovecraft/ - Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fthagn!
/r/Thewalkingdead/ - Episode posts go here!
/r/ZombieSurvivalTactics/
/r/Apocalypse/

a community for
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 104 comments

[–]Barrett82A1 27 points28 points ago

It would have a small motor with not much power and a small battery. Yes you can build one but it would be for show and nothing else

[–]Baron_Von_D 45 points46 points ago

Chainsaws are not the best weapons for zombie survival.
It is a loud, messy tool that would require some type of power source. (Battery, gas, etc). You have risk of it jamming, getting stuck, cutting yourself/others, and it flinging zombie goo all in your face.
Keep it simple. Blades are lighter, quieter, and do not require reloading or a fuel source.
Hatchet, axe, machete, katana, etc

[–]AnalogPie 18 points19 points ago

^ this guy knows whats up/has read the survival guide

[–]bikesbikingbikes 8 points9 points ago

Blades face their own version of these problems: lodging. Blades can get stuck in bones, leaving you unarmed. The axe might not suffer from this as badly, but they aren't particularly easy to wield.

I'd take a steel bat over a blade any day- blunt force trauma to the head. All the head wrecking abilities of a blade, with none of the lodging/sharpening issues.

[–]zoso33 4 points5 points ago

You'd be surprised how easily metal bats are bent beyond use. Most of the conventional ones are hollow bats that get you a nice ping sound, like this

[–]dorkboat 4 points5 points ago

Hardwood bat covered in pennies and duct tape.

[–]LaGrrrande 1 point2 points ago

Except for the splatter factor of blunt force trauma sending infected blood into your eyes/nose/mouth.

[–]bikesbikingbikes 0 points1 point ago

Goggles and a bandana.

[–]absolutkiss 1 point2 points ago

Valyrian steel.

[–]HaloRockz 0 points1 point ago

Actually it's only recommended to use the katana if you know how to use it.

[–]funfungiguy 0 points1 point ago

Pretty much how I feel about the "katana issue".

I don't think there's any go-to melee weapon. Different people are good at certain stuff. I'm gonna stick with a hatchet because it's light and I'm more of an endurance guy that can probably swing something light for a while. Hopefully I won't have to, as I plan on staying in open areas where I can keep moving and not get myself in a melee situation, or can get myself out of one quickly. Anything heavier and I'm gonna get tired arms after a few swings and get chomped when I can't swing something heavy anymore.

Katanas are probably one of the best melee weapons if you know how to use one. But there's a reason only Jedi and Sith use lightsabers. You're gonna cut your leg off if you don't know what you're doing.

Besides, where am I gonna scavenge a katana?

[–]HaloRockz 1 point2 points ago

Right! Right! I was going to use the lightsaber example too but held it back for some reason.

[–]Foreveragnomealone 0 points1 point ago

The book recommended machetes also, because a good katana may be difficult to obtain. Another reason machetes were recommended is because they are sturdy, relatively cheap, and easy to use.

[–]Barrett82A1 1 point2 points ago

A katana requires skill and lots of maintenance. After only a few used it may have the cutting edge of a tin can. A machete is made for abuse. I would go with my tomahawk and machete.

[–]HaloRockz 0 points1 point ago

So would I, machetes are very reliable, especially if you flee into the woods if you're by some.

[–]VoriidNightbane 1 point2 points ago

Scythe

[–]ignanima 1 point2 points ago

Agreed. Two handed Kukri FTW.

[–]Foreveragnomealone 1 point2 points ago

I now know what I am putting on my christmass list.

[–]Elementium 0 points1 point ago

Yep.. anyone who has ever used a chainsaw knows it's not a light saber-like cutting machine. If you swing it at anything harder than a tree branch it will just stop.

[–]Zombiefun 0 points1 point ago

Or you know... A gun why get close to a zombie?

[–]OneSalientOversight 1 point2 points ago

Hatchet, axe, machete, katana,

Probably not Katana. Despite looks is actually a thrusting weapon.

Swinging weapon is what you need against zombies - cheap, heavy and reliable. Not stainless steel.

Machete is what we use in Tomsk Oblast, fighting Orange Snow Zombies.

[–]bikesbikingbikes 7 points8 points ago

Despite looks is actually a thrusting weapon.

Nope.

[–]phlamez92 1 point2 points ago

My friend is into all sorts of Far Eastern voodoo and would take a katana over an axe. I laughed. I'd take a tomahawk and combat knife over a katana any day of the week against a horde of zombies mostly for the utility. Add a pistol and a crossbow and I'm all set to go.

[–]welshcorgi 0 points1 point ago

I always say a tomahawk would be good, especially if you're really skilled at aiming it. However, I'd probably carry multiples. They're pretty light weight.

[–]phlamez92 1 point2 points ago

Well, it wouldn't be so much a throwing weapon for me. Hack and slash til I'm in the woods, clean it off, and head upstream to the hills. Once I actually get out of infested civilization, it would make a great survival tool.

My ideal loadout is pretty lightweight and easy to maintain:

A tomahawk or two (at my waist), a 6-8" combat knife with a serrated edge and smooth edge (strapped to my calf), a crossbow with ~40 bolts ready + spares in bag, an M1911 pistol + suppressor and ~5 loaded mags with spare ammo in go bag; and a flint, chisel, whittling knife, map, compass, heavy blanket, grappling hook with about 200 feet of high tensile rope, and 1 bottle each of pepper and salt (to preserve food) in the bag. Maybe pack an extra set of jeans, too.

[–]VoriidNightbane 0 points1 point ago

A well made katana can cut through multiple bodies. Do research next time please.

[–]OneSalientOversight 0 points1 point ago

I'm sure a well made Katana can do that. But are you willing to part with hundreds of dollars (or thousands if you want the best) when a good $50 machete can do the same thing more reliably.

[–]VoriidNightbane 0 points1 point ago

One does not need money during the zombie apocalypse

[–]leonox 2 points3 points ago

One won't find a very good Katana at the corner shop either. Vast majority of what you'll find are the un-sharpened souvenirs that will break.

Not a katana expert, but going to assume most of us aren't anywhere close to being able to pick up a good katana if an outbreak were to happen.

[–]VoriidNightbane 0 points1 point ago

Yah but everyone in japan can. I perfer a sniper rifle for my ZA fun. Pop some heads with the door locked behind me.

[–]leonox 3 points4 points ago

Are you anywhere near Japan? I'm in China right now and I have zero confidence I'd be able to make it to Japan in the event of an outbreak. Hell I'd even go as far as saying that if I was in Japan I'd probably go through a shit ton of fakes before ever coming close to a real katana as well.

[–]VoriidNightbane 0 points1 point ago

I didnt say I would use a katana.

[–]RainDownMyBlues -1 points0 points ago

Move to America. We have plenty of rifles and ammunition :)

[–]leonox 0 points1 point ago

I'm from actually, just over here for work. Can't wait to get back onto a shooting range =P

[–]OneSalientOversight 0 points1 point ago

Fine. See if you can procure a reliable katana in your local town.

[–]VoriidNightbane 1 point2 points ago

No I cant. I never said I would use one people.

[–]welshcorgi 0 points1 point ago

Irrelevant, because we're not talking about whether or not YOU specifically would be able to, or want to, obtain a katana. The discussion is about the effectiveness of the weapon and would it be easy to get, since everyone thinks they're going to have access to all of these fancy guns and tons of ammunition.

[–]VoriidNightbane 0 points1 point ago

You gotta work your way up the weapon line-up.

[–]zoso33 1 point2 points ago

I'd think a real katana would do fine as a decapitator.

Have a look at this video (WARNING: might be considered a little gruesome. It's a katana vs. a dead goat's neck)

Obviously, it won't go exactly like that, but it seemed to of worked fine.

[–]funfungiguy 0 points1 point ago

What? I think you're thinking of a rapier.

[–]Baron_Von_D 0 points1 point ago

Yes, it is just fun to think about hacking zombies with a katana.
Also, the chance you would even find a katana that could cut something without breaking would be very slim.
Machete would be easiest to find, probably the most durable.

[–]chaosgod 0 points1 point ago

But the katana's the only weapon you've listed that lets you put any real distance between you and the zombie and still cause damage.

Traditionally, a katana may be a thrusting weapon, but I'd wager that's based on the armor it was designed to go up against.

it's still got a massive slashing blade. It's not gonna be any worse at slashing than a machete, though it's certainly not as cheap.

Even traditionally, Katanas seem to have done just fine at beheading defeated warriors committing seppuku, so I imagine they could behead a zombie as well.

[–]Scarjaka 0 points1 point ago

Plus chainsaws are shit for cutting through flesh.

[–]rj17 0 points1 point ago

This is incredibly false. Google chainsaw accidents.

[–]Scarjaka 1 point2 points ago

No it is not incredibly false. It's shit as a weapon.

[–]phcyco101 1 point2 points ago

ask this guy about that (NSFW) link

[–]Ubaralook 2 points3 points ago

I'm not sure what I expected...

[–]danpascooch 5 points6 points ago

I clicked the thumbnail and nothing showed up, then I clicked the link and Google specifically asked if I wanted to be redirected.

The universe clearly doesn't want me to see this, so I won't

[–]Sockpockets 8 points9 points ago

You just couldn't get enough power and life time out of a power source mounted on the gun, you would have to wire the chainsaw to a backpack power source, and then you have weight issues and chain saws are still a bad option with zombies.

[–]Upperguy 6 points7 points ago

why would you want it besides to show it off at conventions and stuff? it would also need a battery pack or fuel cell... eh I don't feel like going through this, just look up why chainsaws are bad.

[–]DoctorBagels 8 points9 points ago

Chainsaws are best used as tools. I would still keep one in storage though.

[–]Upperguy 5 points6 points ago

Yeah but this is /r/zombies... They are loud and not suitable as weapons.

Be a man and grab an axe, it's not like you'd be chopping down redwoods.

[–]rudiegonewild 2 points3 points ago

ahah! I didn't even think of loud

[–]cincidiot 1 point2 points ago

A chainsaw driven by an electric motor, like the one in the picture wouldn't make much noise cutting through flesh and bone, assuming it had enough juice to do both

[–]Upperguy 1 point2 points ago

that's true on the electric front but would you really want to take the time to do that? I mean using a small electric chainsaw to get through a 3-4" branch takes a decent amount of time, I'm not sure how to correlate that into a head/neck/whatever but I sure wouldn't want to stand within 18" of a zed.

Not to mention the blood/gore that thing would throw off.

[–]QueueNX 0 points1 point ago

Fuck that. If they're is already a hoard around my house and trying to get in a door you bet your ass I'm throwing on my face shield and plowing all them bitches down as they come through the door.

but +1 for axes

[–]AnimalFarmPig 7 points8 points ago

Airborne.

[–]UnDire 7 points8 points ago

All The Way.

[–]rpm1984 0 points1 point ago

...This is as far as those bastards go

[–]porn_theater_refugee 1 point2 points ago

that makes me think of Rick's in Fayetteville

[–]mechesh 1 point2 points ago

I think some leg downvoted you.

[–]Rekpar3 14 points15 points ago

Lancer from Gears of War? Anybody?

[–]ChaseVozen 8 points9 points ago

You mean THIS?

[–]Rekpar3 6 points7 points ago

Precisely.

[–]rudiegonewild 4 points5 points ago

It would probably end up pretty heavy

[–]gilliam86 2 points3 points ago

Too noisy, I swear I see all these threads with machine guns, chainsaws, and flamethrowers, and it makes me wonder: do any of them plan on surviving more than an hour?

THIS IS ALL YOU NEED TO SURVIVE (Offensively speaking)

-Pistol (with easily attachable silencer); nothing super powerful/loud but strong enough to get the job done (1 shot, 1 kill) every time while within say, 100 feet. The silencer would allow stealthy clearing of ghouls in confined spaces especially without alerting nearby enemies, living or dead.

-Rifle (clip loading, scope w/ optional laser sight, folding balance legs); This would allow me to set up in a safe, elevated, secure position to do necessary clean up, or defense. (Trigger happy survivalists should look into bolt action rifles to deter wasting ammo)

-Crowbar; multi tasking last resort sturdy melee weapon, don't leave home without it

-Properly stored and sealed ammunition, better too much than too little, just make sure it doesn't rattle when you move

-Weapon maintenance tools; a clean gun is an accurate gun

[–]s3rious_simon 2 points3 points ago

You mean magazine loaded, not clip loaded, right?

[–]Meathe 2 points3 points ago

Unless he meant an M1 Garand.

[–]s3rious_simon 1 point2 points ago

... or a SKS, or (okay, bolt action) a Mosin or a Mauser K98...

but i think he wanted to point out the abality to quickly reload if needed.

[–]gilliam86 1 point2 points ago

Yep, haha

[–]olin305 1 point2 points ago

folding balance legs

Bipod?

[–]kayheezy 1 point2 points ago

[–]500CID 0 points1 point ago

Been around longer than that, one of the guys on the Saiga-12 forum made that years ago.. names Chris IIRC..

[–]lubeinatube 2 points3 points ago

Whats with you retards and your fixation with chainsaws? They're useless for killing anything.

[–]AliasUndercover 4 points5 points ago

They are cool. Duh. How many people have you killed?

[–]edr247 2 points3 points ago

None while using a chainsaw, apparently...

[–]Saudiaggie 3 points4 points ago

Plausible? They're $498 from Panacea firearms.

[–]AKBigDaddy 0 points1 point ago

Was hoping I'd see this in the comments.

[–]esquire_ 4 points5 points ago

Chainsaw, sure the idea is pure massacre, but in reality, have you ever taken a wet cloth and whirled it around? water. everywhere. now times that by 1000 and change it to blood and chunks of flesh. good luck not getting that in your mouth and eyes, and if your wearing a mask, you wont be able to see a few seconds later. The noise alone can be heard for atleast a mile, maybe more if its silent.

Assault rifle, no silencer,welcome even more noise to the situation.

so no, its not plausible. but who knows.

[–]Othello 3 points4 points ago

[–]Red_Dawn_2012 1 point2 points ago

Plausible, but not practical.

[–]Godolin 0 points1 point ago

Well, it's already technically been made. So there's your plausible right there.

[–]AnalogPie 1 point2 points ago

First of all, it's real and it works. That guy made it, he even had an article in popular science Second: worst idea for the zombie apocalypse ever. the chainsaw is too loud and it needs gas. all it would do is attract them and run out leaving you with nothing.

[–]AnimalFarmPig 3 points4 points ago

To be fair, it's undermounted to an M16A4. It doesn't exactly leave you with nothing.

[–]AnalogPie 0 points1 point ago

But if your using the saw in the first place then they're too close for the gun

[–]QueueNX 0 points1 point ago

Actually it's ideal. You can't miss.

[–]cincidiot 1 point2 points ago

Thay chainsaw in the picture is attached to an electric motor, not an engine, so battery power is the issue, not gas. And it won't make that much noise without an engine screaming.

[–]AnalogPie 0 points1 point ago

Refer to earlier comment. Runs out of juice, gets jammed, cut your self, cannot be detached

[–]Whodatguy77 0 points1 point ago

Only if it's electric!

[–]Canard427 0 points1 point ago

All other reliability and noise issues aside. As an AR15 owner, mounting that on the gun would cause terrible accuracy issues as the rifle would become extremely front heavy.

[–]Claytonius_Homeytron 0 points1 point ago

Training soldier! Training!

[–]Canard427 0 points1 point ago

training or not, holding a front heavy gun on something far away, takes its toll on the concentration.

[–]twenty-four 0 points1 point ago

Wallace in his younger, military years.

[–]robotrock1382 0 points1 point ago

Why not?

[–]camostorm 0 points1 point ago

All I could think was "hey that guy is in my old unit!"

[–]longrifle 0 points1 point ago

That's at Guns Plus in my hometown of Fayetteville, NC. love that shop.

[–]rofulz 0 points1 point ago

looks heavy...

[–]theBadTimesDX 0 points1 point ago

But stupid. You don't want the zombie's blood allll over you.

[–]dwt4 0 points1 point ago

Way too complicated when a regulation bayonet would work just fine.

[–]Roflmoo 0 points1 point ago

...yes. Practical? No.

[–]godofallcows 0 points1 point ago

It would make that weapon mess up ten times even more with infected blood flying all over, especially all over you.

[–]TonyDiGerolamo 0 points1 point ago

Um, no.

[–]Zalkareos 1 point2 points ago

Hasn't anyone made a point that it would be incredibly more difficult to aim/shoot with that much weigh at the front of the gun?

[–]kenny6138 0 points1 point ago

It's the lancer from gears