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all 137 comments

[–]MagickNinja 69 points70 points ago

[–]hermit1808 10 points11 points ago

Maybe someone should askscience

[–]ltceda 0 points1 point ago

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 1 point2 points ago

You can't add answers to questions that have been solved on yahoo answers.

[–]BM99 -2 points-1 points ago

Damn you! Getting to links before I do!

[–]Snappy374 90 points91 points ago

That Google version is only from 2009. That is all.

[–]sgtpepper_spray 14 points15 points ago

bruce didn't even bother to take his own screenshot

[–]DoctorOddfellow 1 point2 points ago

THAT'S HOW LONG MIDGETS HAVE HAD NIGHT VISION!

I never go out after dark anymore.

It's all midgets and coyotes.

Fuck that.

[–]Snappy374 1 point2 points ago

I just don't go outside.

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

But i miss watching you from the bushes

[–]soldmi 14 points15 points ago

DnD!

[–]Atmaweapon74 4 points5 points ago

My thoughts exactly, Soldmi! In D&D Dwarfs have darkvision, and Halflings have low-light vision

[–]MidSolo 1 point2 points ago

Where's the love for Gnomes? Low-light vision!
Spell-like abilities in da haussss!

[–]hellojosh 36 points37 points ago

Wait, do they go to jail?

[–]So_Yeah91 178 points179 points ago

They do. They just get shorter sentences.

[–]hellojosh 43 points44 points ago

YEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]Dred 7 points8 points ago

I hate you Kenny.

[–]iUsername_From_Apple 9 points10 points ago

You creep me out, my name is Josh.

[–]SConnelly53 5 points6 points ago

hello josh

[–]Telid 8 points9 points ago

[–]achshar -5 points-4 points ago

yeah, their sentences dwarf in comparison to normal cases.

[–]canyoushowmearound 1 point2 points ago

wow, good knowledge drop, color me impressed!

[–]Chachoregard 6 points7 points ago

It's less of a jail and more of a dog carrier cage?

[–]marrch 0 points1 point ago

Hi there!

[–]bleacliath 27 points28 points ago

©2009? What is this, 2009?

[–]mrzdford 14 points15 points ago

While I do chide OP for the repost, the third question is one I need answered.... Can a midget have normal babies?

[–]bruce656[S] 37 points38 points ago

If you assume that both parents have the same form of dwarfism, and that the particular dwarfism in question is due to a single recessive gene, then there is a 1 in 4 chance the kid would be munchkin sized. Or so I Googled.

The real question is, if a midget gives birth to a normal-sized child, would the midget be torn in half? The answer is no, because everyone knows that midgets lay eggs to be later fertilized by their mates.

[–]muddymidget 15 points16 points ago

fallacy. we fertilize them prior to them being laid.

[–]PROFESSIONAL_FART 0 points1 point ago

Question.. Are midgets born muddy, or is that something they develop later in life?

[–]muddymidget 0 points1 point ago

It was developed later in life for me... did you develop later in life or were you born a professional?

[–]PROFESSIONAL_FART 0 points1 point ago

Well I've always had a natural talent, but I didn't pursue it professionally until after receiving my bachelor's in flatulence.

[–]fuckingcaptcha 0 points1 point ago

Meh, I'm still pissed at you for the shitty repost, but I can't fault you: you seem like a pretty funny guy.

[–]bruce656[S] 0 points1 point ago

I don't know what was going on with me this morning. Too much coffee, probably.

[–]SCHROEDINGERS_UTERUS 1 point2 points ago

If both parents have the same form of genetic recessive dwarfism, their children will be midgets. If their genetic dwarfism is dominant and they both carry a normal, recessive allele, there is a 25% chance that their child will be normal.

[–]Dr_Dippy 1 point2 points ago

Yet if one parent carries 2 dominant dwarfism genes then the chance of a normal child is 0%

[–]reluctantraiderfan 0 points1 point ago

Nice to see you taking a break from planning your reddit meetup. LOL. Always good to get free karma from a lame "midget" post. What were you originally googling? Or did you just take that screen shot from another site?

[–]bruce656[S] 0 points1 point ago

Are you in Louisiana? Are you planning on coming?

[–]salvatorus 4 points5 points ago

Yes they can, although they are more likely to have midget children rather then regular sized people.

[–]The_High_Life 3 points4 points ago

25% chance of normal, 50% chance of midget, 25% of horrible birth defects and a dead baby.

[–]nyando 0 points1 point ago

Yep, the dwarfism allele is dominant.

[–]wee_man 4 points5 points ago

Too broad of a question, and it depends on genetics and the condition that is causing dwarfism. Both of my parents are normal-sized but they are also both 'unaffected carriers' which means they had to both carry the gene and produce offspring that is recessive dominant. I had a 25% chance of being a little person and hit that jackpot.

My sibling is also normal-sized, and he is an unaffected carrier like my folks. If he breeds with another unaffected carrier the baby could be a dwarf. My offspring will be normal-sized because I am an affected non-carrier. Even if I procreated with another dwarf, we would have normal sized babies - in which case the space-time continuum of her vagina would rip in half.

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 3 points4 points ago

On Little People, Big World, they had one kid with dwarfism and 3 that were normal.

[–]SirTheBob 0 points1 point ago

Yes.

My mother is a midget, and I am of normal height, at 6'1".

[–]elbruce 2 points3 points ago

Maybe you're just a really really tall midget. Like the Yao Ming of midgets.

[–]SinisterMidget 12 points13 points ago

Fuck you guys.

[–]wee_man 6 points7 points ago

Jerks like you give us a bad reputation.

[–]bruce656[S] 7 points8 points ago

What are you doing on Reddit? Shouldn't you be silently scheming in a darkened room somewhere?

[–]HeroOfCanton 0 points1 point ago

I imagine you look exactly like Tyrion Lannister.

[–]MaxSoftcore 6 points7 points ago

Fucking midgets, how do they work?

[–]asstits 1 point2 points ago

There's a market for anything.

CafePress > Magnets > Funny Magnets > Humor Magnets > Identity Humor Magnets > Midget Magnets

[–]TheCynicalMidget 1 point2 points ago

Easy, give us hugs and we will be friends. Steal our gold and we will kill you.

[–]MaxSoftcore 0 points1 point ago

If I'm posing for a picture with you, is it considered rude to get down on one knee?

[–]TheCynicalMidget 1 point2 points ago

Not at all. Although, it would make for a better picture if you held me like a baby. That's probably just me though.

[–]MaxSoftcore 0 points1 point ago

Sweet!

[–]SinisterMidget 1 point2 points ago

So uh... hi?

[–]donvito7335 3 points4 points ago

Coming this fall on TLC...Midget Prison

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

DONT WATCH IT, I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME ON TV

[–]donvito7335 0 points1 point ago

redditor for two months...checks out folks

[–]doombot813 3 points4 points ago

I play D&D and I can confirm the Night Vision thing is true.

[–]IronLung420 1 point2 points ago

I play shadowrun. They also can see thru walls and steal magic.

[–]Aceanuu 0 points1 point ago

Thermographic vision ftw.

[–]elbruce 0 points1 point ago

Well, that explains why I don't have any magic.

[–]Liamwitz 3 points4 points ago

Yes. They also are immune to poison and have +1 constitution

[–]kickerwest 3 points4 points ago

Obviously they do have nightvision. How else would they hunt?

[–]Schokoperle 4 points5 points ago

And? Do they have night visions?

[–]HigherFive 2 points3 points ago

Yes.

[–]rpm12345 1 point2 points ago

Smaller eyes, less light receptors, can't see as well in dark, no night vision.

Problem?

[–]TodgerPants -1 points0 points ago

Fuckin' midgets man, they see in the dark. Always trippin' over 'em.

[–]muddymidget 1 point2 points ago

Fuck, ow... watch it!

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

Damn it! Can you stop tripping over us? I am trying to masturbate over here.

[–]Ssirius 0 points1 point ago

These are all valid questions!

[–]ArchScabby 0 points1 point ago

Well?

[–]UhWellThatsNotGood 0 points1 point ago

Yea apparently midgets also have the ability to cure their own yeast infections with will power alone too. They are a powerful people about which much is still unknown

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

And we want to keep it that way, so stop searching for information about us on google.

[–]yangx 0 points1 point ago

A lot of them are legitimate questions

[–]fancyfire 0 points1 point ago

Haha , that made me laugh hard...

[–]GTFan712 0 points1 point ago

Do midgets have midget babies?

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

That's a yes.

[–]elpapaaaa -1 points0 points ago

REEEEEEEEEPOOOOOOST

[–]alxclrk -1 points0 points ago

I am pretty sure the answers to all those questions are 'yes'. MIDGETS ARE CRAZY AS FUCK!

[–]Traptin_85 0 points1 point ago

close. Dwarves have low-light vision, which is not quite the same thing

[–]eXXaXion 0 points1 point ago

A midget in jail at least needn't worry about dropping the soap.

[–]A8Warmonger 0 points1 point ago

Do they have special Midget Prisons ?

[–]jebus67 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, I know in D&D dwarves have something called dark-vision which lets you see 30' in the dark and halflings and gnomes have low-light vision that let's you see twice as far as human sight under moon, torch and starlight... So I'm pretty sure that's what he is referring to...

[–]xsamrlx17 0 points1 point ago

My question is, what were you asking about midgets to discover this?

[–]fuck_fate_love_hate 0 points1 point ago

the last one sounds like a horrible tyler perry movie

[–]billccn 0 points1 point ago

Google suggests existed in 2009? Time really flies....

[–]Kittiemeow8 0 points1 point ago

So DO they have night vision or what? I need to know these things!

[–]wee_man 0 points1 point ago

Midget here. We prefer the term 'little people' but I don't get all bent out of shape about it like some of my dwarfish brethren. Here's my AMA if anyone is interested.

Edit: code.

[–]DontDriveAngry7 0 points1 point ago

I thought I had a question, but i forgot... Good AMA though

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

I don't actually care that much, and I need to do a fucking AMA

[–]PrawojazdyVtrumpets 1 point2 points ago

Facts about midgets.

Patton Oswalt

[–]Bixnoodles 0 points1 point ago

For a midget on stilts with nightvision; see this video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hSXiQJViow

Check 3:41

[–]faeglenn 0 points1 point ago

just tried and got "do midgets have normal sized" and "do midgets have small". I guess these days kids are more interested in the sizes of certain parts of midgets than their abilities. I'm not sure if that means we're getting worse or better.

[–]ChaoticGood_Guy_Greg 0 points1 point ago

According to D&D rules gnomes do have low-light vision.

[–]Garizard1 0 points1 point ago

This was a question on shooting stars, legendary show!

[–]mellooo 0 points1 point ago

Midgets go to a special midget jail

[–]Damimon 0 points1 point ago

No Yes Sometimes Sometimes

[–]hemotrophic_wee 0 points1 point ago

What were you going to type in?

[–]ofirissmart 0 points1 point ago

No.

Yes.

Probably.

Yes.

[–]injekted 0 points1 point ago

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

No.

[–]MrBomber 0 points1 point ago

If they came from Banes Prison... Born in darkness.....

nightvision

[–]DimitriPetrenko 0 points1 point ago

What?? your' midgets dont shoot lasers?! well thats weird

[–]TheCynicalMidget 1 point2 points ago

Yeah. I always shoot lasers. Don't know any other midgets that don't shoot lasers.

[–]dannyrand 0 points1 point ago

A lot of Baldur's Gate players wanted to know.

[–]mnnmnmnnm 0 points1 point ago

Have midgets gone too far? You decide!

[–]mistermegusta69 0 points1 point ago

As an answer for the last one; no.

[–]ImUsingDaForce 0 points1 point ago

you think google is crazy?! check out cleverbot!

[–]bolomcspank 0 points1 point ago

One of the results actually says yes

[–]A_Giant_midget 0 points1 point ago

I can confirm this...

[–]lakai113 0 points1 point ago

i been on Reddit for a few months now and this is the funniest thing i have seen yet..

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

I guess you haven't been looking in the right places. Funny things are hiding in every nook and cranny of reddit, just like me.

[–]skullkid777 0 points1 point ago

Of COARSE midgets go to jail!

[–]Viperbunny 0 points1 point ago

Well...do they?

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

As a midget, I can confirm all of those.

[–]Ojahh -1 points0 points ago

OLD AS FUCK,

Also standard in Pen and Paper as well as PC RPGs and roughly 25% of all Fantasy Novels containing Midgets and Dwarfs

GTFO

[–]bruce656[S] 9 points10 points ago

Since when are midgets standard fare in RPGs and fantasy novels? What you perhaps intended to refer to, I believe, would be Halflings, Hobbits, Smallfolk, Kender, Gnomes, fey creatures such as Brownies and Elves (depending on source), Goblins, Imps, Dvergar or Dwarves (the plural form of Dwarf in a fantasy setting - dwarfs refers specifically to those individuals afflicted with genetic dwarfism).

If you want to go all nerd rage on me, at least strive for accuracy.

Now you, sir, GTFO.

[–]Overused_Gimli 2 points3 points ago

Me and my axe agree!

[–]bruce656[S] 0 points1 point ago

Your username makes this joke still funny. I approve.

[–]weebox 1 point2 points ago

You're a cunt for posting a 3-year-old picture.

[–]bruce656[S] 0 points1 point ago

This is the internet. All original content was posted prior to 1998. This picture is relatively new.

[–]weebox 0 points1 point ago

All original content was posted prior to 1998. Heh, do I have to point out how stupid this statement is? This picture is relatively new. Still doesn't change the fact that it's 3 years old.

[–]Ojahh 0 points1 point ago

So you know what the background on the picture, further down I see you also claim to be fairly familiar with the internet, but when you get called out on a Lame repost, that has been here probably every week, you still act all butt hurt, and take my post apart because I didn list all words for tiny people, I feel sorry for you.

[–]bruce656[S] 0 points1 point ago

I'm not acting butthurt. When someone attacks me - knives out, man.

[–]ZeroMidget -4 points-3 points ago

sigh

Idiotic posts like this are becoming redundant reddit. I'm sure this would be downvoted to hell and/or deleted if the title has "WTF NIGGER!?" But, midgets are funny. Yay hivemind.

For anyone actually looking to be educated, please check out /r/dwarfism, or this post specifically: http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarfism/comments/wwyyp/the_m_word_explanations_links_and_personal/

[–]navarone21 -1 points0 points ago

your name has Midget in it... Are you saying that this is bad because Midget is a slur?

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

I don't really care if people call me a midget. I just use my height to my advantage.

[–]weebox 0 points1 point ago

Punch them in the testicles?

[–]TheCynicalMidget 0 points1 point ago

more like hugging girls and burying my face in their boobs. I don't motorboat them though, don't want to make it too obvious.

[–]penco11 0 points1 point ago

what were you typing?

[–]Slugmeister 0 points1 point ago