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all 50 comments

[–]PlaySwitzerland 47 points48 points ago

I'm currently 32 days late. You have no idea how bad this feels, bro. Every pregnancy test is coming out negative! My vagina and brain are equally confused!

[–]katedid 28 points29 points ago

It's probably time to go see the doctor if you are that late. Make sure everything is okay, and all.

[–]PlaySwitzerland 25 points26 points ago

:/ But then it all becomes real! Actually, I'm reluctantly seeing my doctor this week.

[–]ksa2 19 points20 points ago

Doctor... I think I may have come down with the preggers.

[–]katedid 8 points9 points ago

Good to hear. Hope all is well!

[–]Redkitties 7 points8 points ago

Stress can induce your period to be late. The more you stress the more it's going to get worse. Be warned!

[–]silverbeat 1 point2 points ago

This is actually not really true. Stress can delay your ovulation, but the phase after your period after your ovulation, before your period [luteal] is almost always 12-16 days and it does not become longer because of stress.

[–]Redkitties 1 point2 points ago

I don't mean the period becomes longer, I'm talking about the days before you have your period. Stress before period, period is delayed a bit, then you have a normal period, or an even a short one.

Proof: Me, and my science classmate.

[–]silverbeat 2 points3 points ago

Sorry I misspoke, I meant to type "the phase after your ovulation before your period"

Stress during that time does not cause your period to be late.

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/gettingpregnant/understandingovulation.html

"So the old thought that stress can affect your period is only partly true. Stress can affect your ovulation which ultimately determines when your period will come, but stress around the time of an expected period will not make it late—it was already determined when it would come 12-16 days earlier!"

[–]Redkitties 0 points1 point ago

oh, well then. So only stress halfway through not-period time will determine?

[–]silverbeat 0 points1 point ago

Depending on how long your cycle is, yes. If you're like me before hormonal birth control, it could be the first 30-40+ days of your cycle.

[–]Zinny19 -2 points-1 points ago

You're ego is prego, no doubt about it.

[–]McRibMadman 0 points1 point ago

eggo*

[–]mr_amaral 15 points16 points ago

I feel like this whole subreddit could be John Krasinski faces.

[–]shampoocell 12 points13 points ago

Would not complain.

swoon

[–]Dheredia88 45 points46 points ago

I know that feel bro

[–]Roxxer 10 points11 points ago

Same here.

Avoid females. Acquire Currency.

[–]varietygamer 1 point2 points ago

Acquire currency.....Becomes very difficult to avoid females.

[–]loadedtomcat 21 points22 points ago

I actually do. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

[–]esiper 14 points15 points ago

[–]iamrussianhero 5 points6 points ago

that feel is a scary feel.

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 15 points16 points ago

Snip snip: Costs about $500 and a weekend of being confined to your television.

What that buys you is eternal peace of mind and a complimentary bottle of percocet.

[–]indyK1ng 12 points13 points ago

Assuming you don't ever want kids.

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 8 points9 points ago

There's always adopting a poor orphan if you change your mind. Not only will you give some kid a loving home who'd otherwise be bounced between foster homes, but you'll do wonders for your carbon footprint by not creating another first worlder.

[–]sentimentalpirate 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, but adoption isn't for everyone. It can be a hellish, expensive, drawn out process, and can hurt like a bitch.

My wife's siblings were adopted, and it was filled with disgusting, stressful drama like the tribe wanting to take away her sister after living with her family for a couple years, just because her family is white.

[–]that_cad 1 point2 points ago

As opposed to having and raising your own child, which we all know is heavenly, cheap, quick, and never winds up hurting anyone, right?

[–]sentimentalpirate 2 points3 points ago

Raising a child doesn't matter one way or the other. I'm talking about the adoption process. Ask anyone who has adopted what they think of the process of adopting a child. Sure, some will have good easy-ish process, but others will be on lists for years, be strung along and grow attached to a child only to not be allowed to adopt, etc.

[–]imjoshdean 5 points6 points ago

Reversible.

[–]NotlimTheGreat 6 points7 points ago

Sort of. The longer you take to reverse it the less chance of pregnancy occuring as well as reversal being much more expensive.

[–]TheBlindCat 6 points7 points ago

Medical student here. Not really, not reliably, and super expensive (especially since lots of insurance won't cover it).

[–]alexandrathegr8 3 points4 points ago

[–]xenothaulus 2 points3 points ago

And assuming a doctor will do it. Some refuse unless you are already married with children.

[–]Coloneljesus 8 points9 points ago

Then find a new doctor?

[–]Ericb25 2 points3 points ago

Really Dafuq

[–]ClownsAteMyBaby 0 points1 point ago

They have to otherwise there's the risk of it being a wasted procedure. Lots of people decide after they want it reversed.

[–]johnylaw 0 points1 point ago

artificial insemination

[–]DumplingSawce 2 points3 points ago

Tell that to Dr. Cox.

[–]notarapist72 1 point2 points ago

8/10 I would do it for the percocet.

[–]cuddlyogre -3 points-2 points ago

Yay for genetic suicide.

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 2 points3 points ago

If it's that important to pass along your genes, but you don't want to get a girl pregnant accidentally, there's always freezing a couple batches of soldiers before you go through with it. Personally I feel like that defeats the point of being childfree, but to each their own.

[–]DeepRoast 9 points10 points ago

Ha wouldn't work on me. My girl and I haven't had sex in almost 2 years.

[–]beergoggles69 9 points10 points ago

Yeh, joke's on that guy...

[–]idiosidiot 1 point2 points ago

although maybe unrelated, would you care to dwell on that? why so long? :(

[–]DeepRoast 1 point2 points ago

[–]camisadelgolf 1 point2 points ago

His girlfriend has been dead for a year.

[–]immarried 3 points4 points ago

Congratulations?!?....?!

[–]DeepRoast 2 points3 points ago

Upvoting you because that's what I thought. For those of us who want to have kids but can't this would be a nice thing.

[–]Wonkey37 1 point2 points ago

Good luck...GODSPEED MY FRIEND

[–]cbfw86 0 points1 point ago

I'm desperate for my wife to say this.

[–]camisadelgolf 0 points1 point ago

I have a question for the female redditors.

All right. I've had a couple ex-girlfriends in my past who refused to use birth control. Go ahead and chastise me for fucking them anyway. Fortunately, I've grown up and gotten wiser without any repercussions. Whatever.

Once in a blue moon, they would inform me they were late--anywhere from a few days to a couple weeks. Of course it would weigh heavily on mind, and the whole time, I was thinking, "Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit." So a few days would pass, and I never got an update. That would prompt me to ask, "So . . . uh . . . did you ever get your period?" Every time, the answer was "yes." Then I would think, "Hmmm, that's odd. Why would she tell me when she's late but not when she's on her period again? Isn't it obvious that I would want to know that I'm not becoming a father right now?"

I recently read that ~40% of women have had an abortion at some point in their lives. Do you ladies think my ex-girlfriends were secretly getting abortions, or do you think it's more likely that they couldn't come up with a good moment to say, "Hey, good news! I'm on my period!"?