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853
854

Ask my BF for a present, this is what he got me. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by mynamebejill

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[–]nofelix 71 points72 points ago

FYI that spatula is amazing and a totally awesome present. It's made from a cool type of silicon that makes frying things really easy. That shit can get under anything. I have the orange version and it's my most treasured kitchen thing.

[–]zcc0nonA 10 points11 points ago

yeah but can it compete with THIS?

[–]nofelix 3 points4 points ago

wow that's incredibly cool

[–]Trollin247 6 points7 points ago

What better way to say "i love you"... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbCWmY0eqY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[–]nofelix 7 points8 points ago

dat setero!

SPATULA CITY!                                         SPATULA CITY!

[–]hoody8 1 point2 points ago

Except when you leave it on the frying pan and it starts melting.

[–]thecaptainfalcon -1 points0 points ago

if only it was a hydro-dynamic spatula with, uhh, port and starboard attachments, and turbo drive

load more comments (19 replies)

    [–]temerityjane 36 points37 points ago

    My husband and I tell each other to "bring me back a surprise" all the time. Usually it's a favorite candy bar or some other little thing we know the other likes. It's not that weird.

    [–]AnomalousX12 3 points4 points ago

    That's adorable :3

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]capt_0bvious 544 points545 points ago

      Who the hell asks people for presents???

      [–]amiker7709 225 points226 points ago

      My parents, married almost 40 years, have a thing called an "s." The "s" stands for either "surprise" or "souvenir" (or maybe "surprise souvenir"), depending on the situation. When my dad would take business trips when I was a kid, he'd bring me back an "s," usually some candy or a t-shirt. When one of them goes to the store, the other might say, "bring me back an 's,'" so the one who shops might bring back the other one's favorite snack or something. An "s" is always a little thing, sometimes requested (often not), but always something of an unknown, and usually thoughtful.

      [–]DISLODGED_TAMPON 132 points133 points ago

      Tell your parents they are adorable.

      [–]amiker7709 26 points27 points ago

      I will. Not sure how the "s" thing started (it predates me), but it's cute.

      [–]Bobs_Bitch_Tits 67 points68 points ago

      Maybe you were the first "s"?

      [–]amiker7709 57 points58 points ago

      Oh.... oh god.... OH GOD, NO....

      Wait, that puts me on the same level as a pack of Hostess Snowballs (a favorite "s" of my dad). I might be ok with that. Those things are awesome.

      [–]crustalmighty 40 points41 points ago

      Don't worry, "mistake" starts with "m".

      [–]mkrfctr 0 points1 point ago

      And yet "Son of a...!" starts with "s".

      [–]ProximaC 7 points8 points ago

      You might have been the product of a snowball, you never know.

      [–]shoryukenist 7 points8 points ago

      If mom snowballed dad, he wouldn't have been born.

      [–]ProximaC 4 points5 points ago

      It's technically possible.

      There's a case I remember where the woman gave the guy a bj, then went to the bathroom and inserted the sperm, thus getting pregnant. The guy fought the child support, and lost because the court decided his sperm was "a gift" that she could do with as she pleased.

      http://mensnewsdaily.com/2011/02/27/man-receives-oral-sex-ordered-to-pay-child-support/

      [–]shoryukenist 9 points10 points ago

      Maybe I'm just old, but in my day, a snowball was when the girl gave you a kiss and gave you your present back.

      [–]LOL_Speedwagon 3 points4 points ago

      Yes, if dad spat it back into mother's... No.

      [–]wmgross 2 points3 points ago

      As I recall, snowballs were cheesy middle school dance things that always resulted in loneliness.

      [–]Bobs_Bitch_Tits 0 points1 point ago

      And a drink... http://img.dooyoo.co.uk/GB_EN/orig/0/7/6/6/9/766960.jpg

      [–]fack9gag 1 point2 points ago

      Big words coming from DISLODGED_TAMPON

      [–]KySnow 1 point2 points ago

      OP: Hey mom, a dislodged tampon from the internet says youre adorable.

      MOM: dafuq?

      [–]emperorpotatoketchup 13 points14 points ago

      your parents are unnecessarily abridged

      [–]tweakingforjesus 2 points3 points ago

      The OP didn't realize that s also stood for sex. Parents use all sorts of euphemisms for discussions in the presence of the kids.

      [–]amiker7709 10 points11 points ago

      So when my dad tells my mom to bring him an "s" from the store, he means a copy of Hustler? Why is he then so happy to get snowballs??

      Wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

      [–]GoldenBough 6 points7 points ago

      You should not look up snowballing on urban dictionary. Definitely not.

      [–]BandBoots 0 points1 point ago

      Maybe it used to mean sex, and the 's' would be condoms, lube, or whatever. The meaning of the 's' could have changed as their lives adjusted to fit the parenting lifestyle.

      [–]amiker7709 4 points5 points ago

      I agree. Especially since it kinda sounds like "ass" when they say it, which can cause confusion for those not used to it.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]differentphase 14 points15 points ago

        Yeah, she should have just asked for a plain flower http://i.imgur.com/Q48vW.jpg

        [–]red321red321 143 points144 points ago

        Young children on Christmas or a birthday and OP whenever she feels like it I guess.

        [–]zhannochka 56 points57 points ago

        I ask my husband for a treat sometimes and he does the same. We do it jokingly or before a trip or for an unofficial special occasion or because we're having a bad day. "I feel like shit, can you bring me a surprise when you come home from the store?" and tada, candy bar or bouquet of cheap flowers or a bottle of wine. Doesn't that sound awesome? Wouldn't you love to be like, "hey, it's the anniversary of the day we got the cat, bring me something special!" and have your girlfriend totally understand what you mean and bring you something small that you like?

        Honestly, have you ever been in a long term relationship with another person before? I can't understand why the concept of present prompting is completely foreign to so many people. It's not like you sit down to have a Serious Talk in which you demand a diamond-encrusted Fleshlight post haste.

        [–]MeloJelo 3 points4 points ago

        I've never asked anyone for a present, even on occasions on which I'm supposed to be getting one (e.g., birthday). I have a hard time asking for them even, then. I don't think it's a "long-term" relationship thing; it's more likely that some people do it and some don't.

        I'm not opposed to gift-giving or receiving, it's just not a thing that I think about, nor does my SO, so we rarely ask one another for gifts.

        [–]mynamebejack 0 points1 point ago

        A diamond encrusted fleshlight you say...

        load more comments (4 replies)

          [–]mynamebejill[S] 14 points15 points ago

          He was going shopping and asked if I wanted anything, so I said surprise me. I wasn't asking for presents really it was a throwaway comment!

          [–]KG420 1 point2 points ago

          He sure surprised you, didn't he?

          [–]DuckTruck 3 points4 points ago

          People in a loving relationship. It's not unusual to say something 'get me something from the store dear : )'

          [–]butyourenice 6 points7 points ago

          don't expect redditors to understand relationship dynamics, least of all things like symbolic gestures.

          tomorrow, in r/relationshipadvice: "my girlfriend didn't buy me a video game or give me a BJ for my birthday, should i dump her?"

          [–]DuckTruck 4 points5 points ago

          don't expect redditors to understand relationship dynamics, least of all things like symbolic gestures.

          I just like being reasonably contrarian, usually gets some good replies ; )

          tomorrow, in r/relationshipadvice: "my girlfriend didn't buy me a video game or give me a BJ for my birthday, should i dump her?"

          I didn't get the proper return on investment in my girlfriend, help please!! How can I make her more Efficient?

          [–]Anonee_Mouse 3 points4 points ago

          Apparently Jill does.

          [–]Frankstg 8 points9 points ago

          People searching for false excuses to post random items and getting some karma.

          [–]elbruce 13 points14 points ago

          My God, you've discovered the secret behind everything! Apparently some people are submitting content to this site to get recognition for it. You wait here, I'll go alert the media!

          [–]mcguire 2 points3 points ago

          You write that like it's a bad thing.

          [–]Anarchophobia 5 points6 points ago

          It seems Captain Obvious has never had a girlfriend.

          [–]Sentient_Waffle 13 points14 points ago

          It's rude and weird to be asking for presents.

          Maybe you've had some bad girlfriends?

          [–]mizike 35 points36 points ago

          Using logical deduction, here's how I'm thinking it likely went down:

          Boyfriend: "I'm going to the grocery store, do you need anything?"
          Girlfriend: "Get me a present"
          Boyfriend: "ok, what do you want?"
          Girlfriend: "surprise me."

          You'll notice in the note that he wrote he uses the word "surprise" not "present" and all of this shit is clearly from a grocery store. All that she's expecting here is something like a chocolate bar and she's saying "surprise me" so he can demonstrate that he knows basic things about her which should be expected in a serious relationship - i.e. she that she hates coconut so I won't buy her a mounds bar or whatever.

          Again, this is all speculation, but it seem far more likely than:

          Girlfriend: "Quit smoking weed and playing xbox you loser and get out there and buy me an expensive gift. I'm a female and can only measure my worth by how much money I can get 'nice guys' to spend on me and I need to figure out how much money you have so I can decide whether its worth spermjacking you for 18 years of child support."

          Which is immediately where reddit went when they saw the words "ask" and "present" from a female.

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]BecksSoccer 4 points5 points ago

            I completely agree.

            It's the same thing when people remind you their birthday is coming up and are not so subtle about telling you what they expect you to buy them. "I really want that cute necklace we saw in the mall the other day, but I can't afford it. Thankfully, my birthday's coming up"

            I usually respond with, "oh, are you starting a new job on your birthday?" or, "is that when you get your next paycheck?"

            [–]TheTrunkMunky 38 points39 points ago

            Would you rather get them something that they don't want? I see no problem in them letting you know what they would like as a gift, so long as they know you are planning on getting them one, and it's not too expensive. Personally as someone permanently strapped for cash, I'm much happier just asking my family what they want and getting them that since I know I at least haven't wasted money (and they do the same). If you really want a surprise you can still say so.

            [–]Monkeylint 2 points3 points ago

            Close friends get a bottle of their particular booze if it's a birthday with a zero in the number. Otherwise, I'm showing up with my sparkling wit and a sixer of something decent.

            [–]redyellowand 0 points1 point ago

            I like that you described them as "people" rather than "friends"

            [–]random314 3 points4 points ago

            My wife asked for a push gift. She wanted a Chanel bag for her inconveniences.

            So there. My wife asks for presents.

            [–]StrangestTribe 0 points1 point ago

            If I am going to the store, there is usually a 15 minute period where I am halfway out the door waiting for her to make up her mind about what snack she wants... but that seems legit to me (even if annoying) and I'm happy to get whatever.

            When I'm not going to the store, and she asks for a generic "present", it has always pissed me off a little. ("Prove your love", much?) So I laugh it off, say "make me a sammich", and then legitimately surprise her with something nice when she has forgotten about it.

            load more comments (16 replies)

              [–]red321red321 233 points234 points ago

              where the fuck is the swiffer wet jet? is he fucking serious?

              dump his ass OP

              NOW

              [–]ibenx 35 points36 points ago

              As a house warming gift I usually get friends a laundry basket filled with household cleaners and a wetjet. Honestly goes over pretty well.

              [–]dcux 13 points14 points ago

              The WetJet leaves streaky residue on my hardwood floors. I prefer a nice microfiber rubber banded to a standard sponge mop and a spray bottle of floor cleaner.

              [–]Rainb0wcrash99 30 points31 points ago

              Um i like soap and a rag

              [–]suchende 71 points72 points ago

              I use an illegal immigrant.

              [–]decoyq 25 points26 points ago

              We need more Lemon Pledge

              [–]Kitty_Chef 2 points3 points ago

              Hey get some beer and some cleaning products.

              [–]paranoiattack151 12 points13 points ago

              And bring me back an S

              [–]DirtyGomez 1 point2 points ago

              Condescend to me man, I'll fuckin kill you.

              [–]da1hobo 6 points7 points ago

              Whenever I mop my floors with an illegal immigrant he always leave streaks. Should I rubber band a microfiber cloth to his head?

              [–]suchende 0 points1 point ago

              I like where your head's at. Turn that first world problem into a first world solution!

              load more comments (4 replies)

                [–]Smacktastics 1 point2 points ago

                I use a dirty towel from the hamper and hot water.

                [–]BurntTheToast 16 points17 points ago

                I stand on a wet towel and scoot around.

                [–]ibenx 1 point2 points ago

                I cant even use a wetjet on my floor the floor is so old and has big spaces inbetween some boards.

                [–]amiker7709 0 points1 point ago

                What sort of floors do you have? I'm getting bamboo installed this week and don't want to bust out the wetjet if it'll streak up the joint.

                [–]JizzinSock 0 points1 point ago

                hihihih.....hardwood

                [–]ouwish 1 point2 points ago

                Swifer mop but with two dryer sheets on the bottom for dry dusting...or a libman microfiber dust mop and a spray bottle of hardwood floor cleaner for actual moping.

                [–]anangrybanana 2 points3 points ago

                He also forgot the "makes-you-have-diarrhea" yogurt and tampons.

                [–]TmlzMiso 1 point2 points ago

                Swiffer wet jet is easily my best purchase this year.

                [–]mr_literal_man 0 points1 point ago

                This was taken in Australia, wet jets don't exist down here.

                load more comments (3 replies)

                  [–]katsuya_kaiba 12 points13 points ago

                  Those puppies and kitties on the tissue box are adorable.

                  [–]almosthuman 11 points12 points ago

                  LET'S ASSUME SOME THINGS ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE!

                  [–]almosthuman 0 points1 point ago

                  I was sure this comment would be down voted to oblivion but I'm glad to see it not.

                  [–]SexyAbeLincoln 260 points261 points ago

                  Because everyone who has commented so far seems to be an idiot:

                  OP - why did you ask for a present? That's not really what presents are for.

                  OP's Boyfriend - might well be a dick. Tried to be funny, ended up choosing to play off of overused, stupid stereotypes of women.

                  Post status - not funny. Also, quite possibly not real.

                  [–]NotaMethAddict 101 points102 points ago

                  I'd hope it isn't real. I like to pretend sexist jokes stop being funny to people after you graduate high school, and then adults don't make shitty jokes like this.

                  [–]dcux 60 points61 points ago

                  Keep pretending.

                  [–]galt88 7 points8 points ago

                  Yup. It gets funnier the older you get. Especially if you have an awesome GF/wife and you realize how much they do for you and can take a joke, to boot.

                  [–]zhannochka 31 points32 points ago

                  That's funny. The older I get, the more banal these jokes get. Every year that passes, I'm less and less likely to waste my time being assertive about how it bothers me, instead tending a slow growing resentment toward the offender. I'm glad I married someone with a compatible sense of humor.

                  [–]librarianzrock 10 points11 points ago

                  Yay, I made it through the scary posts to a sentiment that I agree with!

                  [–]zhannochka 7 points8 points ago

                  Hello, fellow sensible adult! Someday there will be a subreddit just for us...

                  [–]librarianzrock 2 points3 points ago

                  I'm already on plenty subs with reasonable people, but for some reason I can't stay away from /r/funny for moments like this!

                  load more comments (15 replies)

                    [–]Enkmarl 13 points14 points ago

                    It gets funnier the more you accept its misogynistic premise! So there you go

                    load more comments (1 reply)

                      [–]redavni 16 points17 points ago

                      It's not real. It's mathematically impossible to fit all the shit women buy on one aisle.

                      [–]That_Guy_Gavin 0 points1 point ago

                      ZING!

                      load more comments (2 replies)

                        load more comments (7 replies)

                          [–]Vouk73 0 points1 point ago

                          You are as wise as you are sexy, Mr. President!

                          [–]RationalArgumentMan 11 points12 points ago

                          Oh get off your high horse and lighten up...

                          1) Birthday, anniversary, special occasion, a joking "you should get me a present!" remark, etc...

                          2) Again, lighten up. Sure it's overused if you're always on the internet like us, but otherwise it's still fairly funny plus who knows, maybe they also happened to have needed cleaning supplies?

                          3) Oh god, /r/karmaconspiracy people are just as dumb as /r/conspiracy people.

                          [–]mojowitchcraft 7 points8 points ago

                          I was gonna say, if you're asking for presents you deserve stereotypical bullshit like that.

                          load more comments (12 replies)

                            [–]Sillylovesongs 30 points31 points ago

                            Apparently he asked /b/ for present ideas

                            [–]NotaMethAddict 40 points41 points ago

                            Or someone who's in middle school.

                            [–]Verifixion 3 points4 points ago

                            You're appearing quite a lot now-a-days ಠ_ಠ

                            [–]StorminNorman 6 points7 points ago

                            "Now-a-days"? He's nearly due for retirement if you calculate his age in Internet years...

                            [–]Verifixion 1 point2 points ago

                            It's been 2 months

                            [–]Rancid47 2 points3 points ago

                            Aka /b/

                            [–]akatherder 3 points4 points ago

                            Or someone from /b/ who is in middle school.

                            [–]NotaMethAddict 6 points7 points ago

                            You're being redundant.

                            [–]jpiglet 37 points38 points ago

                            Why were you asking for a present?

                            [–]neoncp 12 points13 points ago

                            Maybe it was meant to be facetious. My Dad would often request presents when somebody was going to the store.

                            He was always sure to specify that the presents needed to be "numerous and expensive".

                            load more comments (1 reply)

                              [–]ianfloridian 4 points5 points ago

                              Is your bf you?

                              [–]Irate_drapist 2 points3 points ago

                              Fuck you those popping candy chocolate jelly crack cocaine orgasm Cadbury bars are absolutely amazing.

                              [–]mouldygraper 0 points1 point ago

                              The one pictured isn't big enough.

                              WHERE'S THE REST OF THE BLOCK?!

                              [–]ladybrightside 2 points3 points ago

                              Hope it's his way of saying he's going to do all the cleaning for you for the next 6 months!

                              [–]syth406 1 point2 points ago

                              Well in the end she did get a wonderful surprise present. Lots of sweet karma!

                              [–]The_Grim_Sleaper 2 points3 points ago

                              Aaand guess who won't be getting laid for a while.

                              [–]mynamebejack -1 points0 points ago

                              You?

                              [–]dancepanda 3 points4 points ago

                              I'm pretty sure the real present is all the karma you're getting.

                              [–]HipstersaurusRex 6 points7 points ago

                              i am pretty sure the asking for a present wouldnt have been serious request. hence the none serious present being bought

                              [–]deejayskipper 3 points4 points ago

                              He fumbled on this one. A better gift would have been his dick in a box.

                              [–]ballchinneus 30 points31 points ago

                              Don't ask for presents

                              [–]PaypaKlip 12 points13 points ago

                              In all fairness, you asked him to surprise you and I'm sure he did, so you got exactly what you wanted.

                              [–]Rommel79 10 points11 points ago

                              What the hell? No tampons?!?

                              [–]Abra-Used-Teleport 6 points7 points ago

                              As a lady who needs those once a month, that would be one less thing that I would have to buy. I'd be grateful and find it hilarious. As long as he got the right kind.

                              [–]amiker7709 8 points9 points ago

                              The right kind is the problem. I think my husband has a moving blind spot that keeps him from even seeing the tampons in the bathroom cabinet. If I asked him what kind I use, he'd probably say "the regular kind." Definitely don't trust him to buy them for me (and wouldn't ask anyway).

                              [–]cysgr8 7 points8 points ago

                              An if he does get the right kind without asking you, he's a keeper ;)

                              [–]mynamebejill[S] 0 points1 point ago

                              He actually requests to pick my tampons for me each month. I think he loves the bright colours and fancy packaging. Suffice to say it's a different one each time!

                              [–]DontHaveMoreUsername 6 points7 points ago

                              Ask my BF for a present,

                              Okay I will....somehow..

                              [–]zuperxtreme 0 points1 point ago

                              Next time I go to the supermarket I'm going to take a picture of the stuff I buy too.

                              [–]freecandy_van 1 point2 points ago

                              Awww he gave you karma.

                              [–]CollapsingStar 2 points3 points ago

                              Kleenex "Large and thick" should honestly be in the men's aisle.

                              [–]Candies1205 0 points1 point ago

                              Large and thick. Silk touch for her pleasure.

                              [–]Super_Sieg 16 points17 points ago

                              Sexism may be wrong but, I will admit, it made my day. He must really love you if he feels comfortable joking like this with you. Once, my dad got my mom a vacuum for their anniversary. We all laughed for hours. Then he pulled out the real present, a HUGE diamond ring. I'm not just saying this because they are my parents but, I have never seen a stronger marriage than theirs.

                              [–]parkerjallen 15 points16 points ago

                              A vacuum can be fucking expensive.

                              [–]choast 19 points20 points ago

                              i'd kill for a dyson, those things are fucking sweet.

                              [–]ImSpicy 1 point2 points ago

                              Damn straight they are. My ex took my Dyson in the exodus and one of my first purchases was a new one.

                              [–]ParaChizzy 4 points5 points ago

                              Right?!?!

                              [–]Reddittorswife 9 points10 points ago

                              My husband once got me an attachment for our vacuum for my birthday - I really need it , wanted it and LOVED it. You have to know who you are buying for to get a good gift.

                              [–]micebrainsareyummy 8 points9 points ago

                              The best present I ever got was my red kitchen aid mixer. I had been buying red pots and pans and thing for years because someday I was going to own that mixer. My boyfriend, (now fiance), spent his tax return on it and gave me it as a birthday present. The next gift I got him was a nifty straight razor shaving set.

                              [–]Mothbrights 1 point2 points ago

                              I cried when my husband got me my kitchenaid. I'd wanted one for so long and we'd had a really shitty year, so it meant a lot to me.

                              [–]emperorpotatoketchup 0 points1 point ago

                              Barbara Billingsley?

                              [–]Rommel79 16 points17 points ago

                              I've bought my wife cooking stuff for anniversaries and she's bought me tools. If it's what we want and it makes us happy, I couldn't care less what someone else's standards say we should get.

                              [–]J_Schafe13 0 points1 point ago

                              Exactly. I love getting tools as gifts because they are something I will use. In most households, women still do the majority of the cooking and cleaning, while men do the maintenance, yardwork, etc. Getting your wife/girlfriend/mother cleaning or cooking "tools" makes perfect sense.

                              load more comments (1 reply)

                                [–]ms-whatever 11 points12 points ago

                                Agreed. I think when couples are able to laugh at themselves when the other is jokingly insulting the other, I consider that a healthy relationship.

                                [–]Cthulhu_Bloop 33 points34 points ago

                                Nah, here on reddit, we have to judge EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who doesn't conform to our standards of gender equality. We'll call her a Special Snowflake (y'know, like Uncle Toms! Get it?) and pretend somehow that it is in now way offensive or incredibly hypocritical. Also, her boyfriend is a douchebag even though we know nothing about him or their relationship, and she's and idiot if she doesn't break up with him.

                                [–]Super_Sieg 14 points15 points ago

                                Got it :D. Next time I will be sure to pass false judgment instead of sharing a nice story.

                                [–]scruffy01 19 points20 points ago

                                Gender equality: Because admitting there are differences between men and women is abhorrently evil. Women have just as magnificent penises as men do.

                                [–]guitarguy109 0 points1 point ago

                                Honestly idk if this is meant as sarcasm

                                [–]BlueParrot 10 points11 points ago

                                Once, my dad got my mom a vacuum for their anniversary. We all laughed for hours. Then he pulled out the real present, a HUGE diamond ring.

                                I would have preferred the vacuum. That's useful. Rings mostly mean you risk horrific injuries to your fingers.

                                [–]shibblywibbly 1 point2 points ago

                                nsfw horrific injuries

                                [–]Rainb0wcrash99 1 point2 points ago

                                Sounds good to me

                                [–]Super_Sieg 1 point2 points ago

                                Well, the vacuum was a "real" present. We really did need one and my mom really did ask for one. Not for her anniversary though, she asked for it just casually because ours broke but my dad waited a for 3 months to get it just so he could make it a joke. He got her a dyson!

                                There was a special reason he bought the ring(other than their anniversary) but I don't remember what it was. I think it was some kind of promise.

                                [–]Anesthesiakk 0 points1 point ago

                                Not only can they injure your fingers, but you're more likely to be mugged if you are wearing a huge diamond ring. They also look really tacky.

                                [–]VeritasEtVenia 5 points6 points ago

                                My dad used to buy my mom sexist presents all the time, except he was serious. One of the many reasons they're divorced now.

                                [–]TedDansonsforehead 9 points10 points ago

                                That's what you get for asking for a present...

                                [–]IgnatiousReilly 2 points3 points ago

                                Account is 0 days old, this is the one and only submission.

                                Is this baiting? Perhaps something about the sexist nature of Reddit?

                                [–]im_too_literal 3 points4 points ago

                                Give him back the tissues and tell him he'll be needing them.

                                [–]HorFinatOr 2 points3 points ago

                                serves you right for asking for presents

                                [–]PrincessIceheart 1 point2 points ago

                                Or you could woman up and buy shit for yourself. What kind of person has the audacity to ask for a gift?

                                [–]Emilaweb 3 points4 points ago

                                People with that kind of relationship to their S.O. I've asked for a gift before when my S.O went to dollar tree and he brought me back a sombrero full of cheezits and a children's flute. It was awesome. Don't be judgin'.

                                load more comments (2 replies)

                                  [–]SkaTSee 1 point2 points ago

                                  are you still with him?

                                  [–]StudlySquirtle 0 points1 point ago

                                  Account age 7h

                                  Something tells me OP is a guy who got cheap karma by arranging household items.

                                  [–]Koshercrab 0 points1 point ago

                                  Seems legit.

                                  [–]mat967 0 points1 point ago

                                  I could use those kleenex.

                                  [–]birthday-pie 0 points1 point ago

                                  Always thinking!

                                  [–]Eddyoshi 1 point2 points ago

                                  I think he nailed it

                                  [–]ajsvin 0 points1 point ago

                                  Missing Lemon Pledge http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uklF7VtqJq8

                                  [–]tardis2464 0 points1 point ago

                                  If you don't like them then just give your bf the tissues, i'm sure he'll enjoy them.

                                  [–]ThunderSteaks 0 points1 point ago

                                  That candy is amazing though! My gf sent that to Canada from NZ for me. I wish we could get it here.

                                  [–]inpaperboats 0 points1 point ago

                                  The thing that redeems this is his excellent choice of chocolate bar.

                                  [–]eXXaXion -1 points0 points ago

                                  I like your boyfriend.

                                  [–]LoweJ -1 points0 points ago

                                  brave man

                                  [–]Bearaidz 0 points1 point ago

                                  Fuckin Chirp!

                                  [–]tingalor -1 points0 points ago

                                  You either live in a different country, or your boyfriend buys the most generic products I've ever seen.

                                  [–]SkyPork -1 points0 points ago

                                  You're a lucky girl (or gay guy, I suppose). That there is a quality sammich-flipper.

                                  [–]tesla_was_robbed 1 point2 points ago

                                  Your BF forgot the rule: a girl who asks for a present gets an Xbox.

                                  [–]slashVictorWard -1 points0 points ago

                                  Harpic??? Dettol??? Damn Western Europe, you weird.

                                  [–]mouldygraper 2 points3 points ago

                                  I'm pretty sure OP is a fellow Australian.

                                  [–]Mossmaster 0 points1 point ago

                                  I take it the kleenex are for any tears shed while scrubbing?

                                  [–]Ketrel 0 points1 point ago

                                  Now, a REALLY crafty guy would have "hidden" a real present in the closet where those items get stored, so as she's grumbling to herself thinking "That ass, it's slightly funny but I'll get him for this" while putting them away...BAM! Real surprise.

                                  Bonus points if it were to be a ring and when she turns around, he's behind her on one knee.

                                  [–]do-not-throwaway 0 points1 point ago

                                  The spatchula is a wonderful touch.

                                  [–]AniceB -1 points0 points ago

                                  I see nothing there to make sandwiches with :)

                                  [–]Flaimelion 0 points1 point ago

                                  I need those Kleenex!

                                  [–]Amphoric 1 point2 points ago

                                  fking lol'd

                                  [–]gryphonnz 1 point2 points ago

                                  Haha, I can tell you're a kiwi just from the products _^

                                  [–]Traptin_85 0 points1 point ago

                                  I don't get it.

                                  [–]MarchMadnessisMe 0 points1 point ago

                                  I would have gone with dick in a box

                                  [–]Cynical_Bastard_ 1 point2 points ago

                                  Tee-hee, because women clean and make sandwiches. GET IT?

                                  [–]Neodymium 0 points1 point ago

                                  Hit him on the bum with the spatula! :)

                                  [–]sgtoj 0 points1 point ago

                                  he got you a hint

                                  [–]Mickeys_Malt_Liquor 0 points1 point ago

                                  I surprise my lady every week with a loaf of bread and some cold cuts.... Yet somehow I'm still single.....

                                  [–]HappyEskimo 1 point2 points ago

                                  He got you a chocolate bar? That's love.

                                  [–]Dubmystepsucks 0 points1 point ago

                                  He should have got her his dick in a box

                                  [–]Quaf 0 points1 point ago

                                  Your boyfriend sounds like a misogynist douche.

                                  [–]Milateket 0 points1 point ago

                                  Now... if there were only pictures of you using your lovely gifts...

                                  [–]AlienX420 -1 points0 points ago

                                  Sounds like your bf is a sexist asshole.

                                  [–]TempestK 0 points1 point ago

                                  Time for a new BF maybe?

                                  [–]GreenVoltage 0 points1 point ago

                                  you should probably dump this guy.

                                  load more comments (137 replies)

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