this post was submitted on
2,150 points (52% like it)
24,510 up votes 22,360 down votes

funny

subscribe2,376,563 readers

21,297 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]red321red321 722 points723 points ago

shark puncher by day

70s retro porn star by night

[–]NotaMethAddict 244 points245 points ago

Why not at the same time?

[–]FlyingV79 280 points281 points ago

Chaffing.

[–]bhmnscmm 102 points103 points ago

DM:SS

[–]wash_like_a_leaf 177 points178 points ago

Doesn't matter: shark sex?

[–]bhmnscmm 91 points92 points ago

You got it.

[–]Pseudo_NMOS 64 points65 points ago

Shafe Shex

[–]wash_like_a_leaf 179 points180 points ago

[–]EmojisYourComment 23 points24 points ago

That was great.

[–]helloreddits456464 15 points16 points ago

DM;SS

respect the semi

[–]ElolvastamEzt 8 points9 points ago

Doesn't Matter; Semi Sex

(but will you still respect it in the morning?)

[–]yourpenisinmyhand 9 points10 points ago

Shark fisting.

[–]vuxa 9 points10 points ago

PUNCHING SHARKS, SHOOTING PORN AT THE SAME DAMN TIME

[–]sudsomatic 4 points5 points ago

I think I've seen that video already.

[–]obviousthisis 8 points9 points ago

How many shitty artists are there?

[–]sacrilegious 5 points6 points ago

1870's, that is

[–]cassidymccormick 0 points1 point ago

He is the most interesting man in the world. Dos Equise should hire him.

[–]Fuckin_Hipster[!] 1 point2 points ago

Is that a horse thing?

[–]JavaYourComment 0 points1 point ago

Class JavaYourComment {
    DateMachine time = new DateMachine("time");
    If (time.daytime) {
       human.status = "Shark puncher";
    } else {
       human.status = "70s retro porn star";
    }
 }

[–]dons 20 points21 points ago

A most tedious, pointless novelty account

[–]shizzledog 143 points144 points ago

That could be the only thing on his resume and he'd still get the job.

[–]partyplatypus 65 points66 points ago

"No, I don't actually have any qualifications to be a nuclear engineer, but I did once photograph, and then punch when it got too full of itself, a fucking shark. I'll start Monday."

[–]SatinHandyWipe 17 points18 points ago

You almost had it man. Almost.

[–]that-freakin-guy 3 points4 points ago

This is how I imagine all his interviews go. He'd be the best nuclear engineer the world would ever come to know.

[–]Naggers123 32 points33 points ago

Kris Kerr 2012

Punch Unemployment In The Nose.

[–]RebelPrez 826 points827 points ago

You don't even need that to validate your manhood when you have a glorious mustache like that.

[–]MitchOssimPants 259 points260 points ago

Handlebar mustaches are truly the king of all mustaches.

[–]AKMask 406 points407 points ago

His mustache is so manly I dont doubt it tried to punch that shark too.

[–]SupermanV2 242 points243 points ago

If you can grow a moustache like that, you damn well better be a shark puncher.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 183 points184 points ago

What did you call my mother?

[–]ZM2N4AiP_A4 38 points39 points ago

DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT

[–]D_Mantooth 16 points17 points ago

me?

[–]SupermanV2 144 points145 points ago

I called her a shark puncher.

[–]Dragon_Drool 38 points39 points ago

Shark punches have the power of kicks!

[–]zombiekilloftheweek 34 points35 points ago

I am punch kicker, my punches have the power of kicks

[–]doritodragon 17 points18 points ago

Sharkpuncher... is there anything I can do to repay you?

[–]ChickenShoes 5 points6 points ago

Yes, call me David.

[–]Lore86 19 points20 points ago

I don't even get why we' re still talking about the shark, man look at this mustache!

[–]iamkumar5 6 points7 points ago

Such a nice mustache that it became plural

[–]Lore86 19 points20 points ago

¯(°_o)/¯ I'm not English native speaker, sorry

[–]iamkumar5 6 points7 points ago

No worries. Mustache appreciation is pretty universal (on Reddit) :)

[–]Omerta_CDD 4 points5 points ago

Some men wish they could half the stash.

[–]scubacled 4 points5 points ago

he is the reason why Bigger Jaws is afraid to go back in the water

[–]Yoyo8 52 points53 points ago

Why, this man looks like he can win a round of FISTYCUFFS.

[–]BlumpkinsnGravy 6 points7 points ago

I do believe he told the shark if he wanted to engage in fisticuffs he had Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting.

[–]More_Cheepa 12 points13 points ago

bully!

[–]ryojordan 15 points16 points ago

Whereas the "tooth brush mustache" aka hitler mustache is the BITCH of all mustaches

[–]SeisGurl9 15 points16 points ago

No, no you're thinking of the pencil mustache. The hitlerstache is the DOUCHEBAG of them all.

[–]leojwinter 16 points17 points ago

Shame one guy had to go and ruin it for everyone else.

[–]Mr_Incredible_PhD 8 points9 points ago

Charlie Chaplin didn't mind, but he had it before it was cool.

[–]SmellsLikeGasoline 4 points5 points ago

Except Michael Jordan.

[–]equipowin 21 points22 points ago

Do I need to grow the mustache before I go sharkpunching or do I get it after I punch a shark?

[–]strayclown 32 points33 points ago

You should receive your moustachio within 15 seconds of a qualifying shark punch, in AUS, please wait 30-45 seconds for handling.

[–]Xenks 8 points9 points ago

I thought Australians got one for free for living in Death Land. On the other hand, a shark punch is probably just a normal trial of manhood there. It's not insane like going for a swim.

[–]nbrennan 4 points5 points ago

Although these do appear to be the handlebars of a rather small bicycle.

[–]blackjackjester 6 points7 points ago

Only when worn non-ironically.

[–]LegitimateSnape 3 points4 points ago

Ladies, there is a reason it's called the handlebar mustache. Mount up and hang on because you're in for a wild ride....a shark assaulting, leather-bound book reading, 70s porn directing extravaganza. All to the soundtrack of Dazed and Confused.

[–]e-kul 13 points14 points ago

Are you sure it wasn't his mustache that punched the shark?

[–]alexis2044 15 points16 points ago

And that chest hair...

[–]Crackdave 49 points50 points ago

Quite relevant: http://imgur.com/wAlsV

[–]fictitious 172 points173 points ago

For those who actually want to read it, higher res

[–]Naggers123 16 points17 points ago

Smackdown.

[–]swampfish 10 points11 points ago

Any chart that rates the dick-target (aka goatee) anywhere over "disastrous" is seriously flawed.

[–]PrisonPussy 4 points5 points ago

a.k.a. 'Prison Pussy'

[–]deivijs 15 points16 points ago

Oh shit, i'm actually a goatee+ mustache. I AM A TRUSTWORTHY MAN. FINALLY.

[–]partyplatypus 15 points16 points ago

Suck on my full beard!

[–]storova 15 points16 points ago

i think i'd trust a werewolf over a neck beard.

[–]Purdy14 12 points13 points ago

I was thinking more along the lines of would you not trust this man

[–]IndigoMoss 19 points20 points ago

Hitler ruined it for everyone that not even the most beloved comedian of the 20th century can save it.

[–]gooneruk 2 points3 points ago

Charlie Chaplin is more beloved than Adam Sandler?! I will not stand for these flagrant lies!

[–]swampfish 8 points9 points ago

A hat makes all the difference for that style stash.

[–]DrAnalCucumber 5 points6 points ago

Actually... I'd trust Heisenberg, and do mostly what he says without question.

It's either that or die.

[–]madinfinitum 7 points8 points ago

So I'm dangerous because I have a patchy beard. That's just not fair! lol

[–]omni_whore 22 points23 points ago

Tell that to your next victim.

[–]Helpfulandattractive 14 points15 points ago

I don't fucking trust you. And that's coming from a man who can grow this

[–]Razer1103 12 points13 points ago

Definitely needs more lens flare.

[–]Helpfulandattractive 3 points4 points ago

You're right. To /r/picrequests I go!

[–]Ottoblock 24 points25 points ago

Looks like I'm questionably questionable... =(

http://i.imgur.com/fMN72.png

[–]ghostvortex 21 points22 points ago

first time ive seen a 11 year old rocking a rolliefingers.

[–]RedAero 52 points53 points ago

It's mostly because you have a girly face.

[–]WN5h 16 points17 points ago

Hipster moustaches don't count.

[–]CRAB_OF_TRAPPED_WIND 6 points7 points ago

How's it going, Howard Moon?

[–]Grixus 9 points10 points ago

I bet this mustache popped out right after he punched the shark to be his ultimate badge of badassery.

[–]Xodah 4 points5 points ago

i thought that is the kind of mustache you get after you punch a shark

[–]tehkyle5k 6 points7 points ago

The shark probably saw the mustache and headbutted his fist out of respect.

[–]FlyingV79 4 points5 points ago

I actually thought that the mustache was what the title was referring to before I scrolled down.

[–]penguinshart 1 point2 points ago

and look at that fucking chest hair. jesus fuck.

[–]Lefty07 0 points1 point ago

molestache level - pedobear

[–]_it_was_me 2 points3 points ago

and the luscious chest pubes.

[–]bdh008 214 points215 points ago

That shark should consider it an honor to get punched by that man.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 99 points100 points ago

It's not shark week, it's Kriss Kerr week.

[–]NotaMethAddict 33 points34 points ago

I would gladly watch a week of that glorious mustache.

[–]wash_like_a_leaf 13 points14 points ago

It's not shark week, but Kris made that shark's week.

[–]jaycrew 108 points109 points ago

I love how you can see a fish on the right going "OH SHIT WTF I'M OUTTA HERE!"

[–]top_counter 52 points53 points ago

The fish was just trying to get a view of that glorious 'stache.

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 139 points140 points ago

[–]writ24 4 points5 points ago

In 32 minutes, well done.

[–]Niric 6 points7 points ago

Woohoo! Two personal records! For getting a photo on the news and number of sharks punched in the frickin' face!

[–]arms_of_a_bear 5 points6 points ago

As if a news article's validation wouldn't be enough

[–]omni_whore 4 points5 points ago

I was not expecting it to be a shark bigger than myself. Wow.

[–]HalfheartedHart 29 points30 points ago

Reminds me of the uncle who dragged a bullshark to shore after it bit off his nephew's arm....they recovered and reattached the arm, too.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1000445,00.html

[–]MotherHugger 26 points27 points ago

Shark thought the dude was a catfish.

[–]Dunavks 14 points15 points ago

He's a pretty cool cat. Probably that's why.

[–]RagePoop 40 points41 points ago

I actually know this guy, he's from New Smerna Beach, FL. He was out surfing, with a waterproof go-pro camera when he saw a shark approaching him and promptly punch it in the nose. He had a bit of a window to grow that incredible stache between the event and the news interview which he took full advantage of.

[–]Fuck_Your_Golden 23 points24 points ago

I bet i know you, as I went to school with this character.

[–]giddyup523 21 points22 points ago

Now fuck.

[–]dcurl88 3 points4 points ago

I'm kind of nervous as to who you two are...I too grew up in New Smyrna and was a grade above Kris.

[–]Armpit-Vagina 11 points12 points ago

Haha I think I just found his Facebook. I know reddit frowns on sharing personal information so I won't link it, but I found a guy with his name from New Smyrna Beach. He has a beard in all his photos, no epic stache.

Edit: Okay I have to share these pants. Yeah, this guy looks like a shark puncher.

[–]QuickRime 11 points12 points ago

I wonder if this guy is related to Saxton Hale.

[–]ImaBlackBelt 8 points9 points ago

The mustache grew immediately after he punched it.

[–]POSTS_GIFS 56 points57 points ago

[–]Sir_Jeremiah 59 points60 points ago

It pisses me off how he doesn't actually seem to hit it.

[–]vuxa 87 points88 points ago

[–]NorCalSamurai 64 points65 points ago

[–]gnovos 26 points27 points ago

force-kick

[–]B_Elanna_Torres 37 points38 points ago

A wild Boba Fett in the background!

[–]hambeast521 10 points11 points ago

That really is my favorite part of that gif.

[–]achshar 4 points5 points ago

Well that went well.

[–]thenewiBall 6 points7 points ago

Well that's cause it's dangerous to punch sharks, too much risk for an actor

[–]whorecrusher 3 points4 points ago

He just hits it so fast that your eyes can't even perceive it.

[–]electrolemon 8 points9 points ago

It's just the frame rate. In the movie, he makes contact.

(2010 was when Despicable Me came out. The sequel to 2001 is 2010: The Year We Make Contact. Coincidence? Yes. I promise I'm not high.)

[–]Admiral_Spanky 15 points16 points ago

This man needs a fur coat and a biplane bristling with heavy weaponry.

[–]BokehBurgher 7 points8 points ago

Can we get an AMA with this guy?

[–]Big_Boyd 20 points21 points ago

Sex offender status: pending.

[–]Rangourthaman_ 5 points6 points ago

For being too sexy for real life that is.

[–]hapahaole_ 118 points119 points ago

[–]partyplatypus 38 points39 points ago

I have no clue how this is relevant, but it is my favorite gif.

[–]doubledubs 10 points11 points ago

I can't believe this is the first time I've ever seen this.

[–]xElahstanx 15 points16 points ago

WAT.gif

[–]weewolf 29 points30 points ago

It's quite clear, two girls one taco.

[–]Kdkdbwsodkdbqk 4 points5 points ago

Directed by M. Nigh... wait, no.

[–]starNlamp 2 points3 points ago

and suddenly I have a new favorite gif...

[–]emcgone 17 points18 points ago

I've never been so proud. Kris and me at prom...

http://imgur.com/8HGlo

[–]hughtankman 6 points7 points ago

Is this the Iron Sheik's kid?

[–]SlayerFan1993 3 points4 points ago

Sheiky baby FACK shark up shark ass and make it humble. Then Sheiky break back with-a the Camel Clutch.

[–]hezex 9 points10 points ago

QUEST: THE JOURNEY TO ULTIMATE MANHOOD (5/6)

[√] Handlebar moustache

[√] Hasslehoff'd shirt

[√] Hasslehoff'd chest hair

[√] Bush eyebrows

[√] Punched shark

[ ] Punched Chuck Norris

[–]Slightly_Sentient 5 points6 points ago

I think the mustache did most of the work.

[–]XenophonTheBoss 12 points13 points ago

After a two minute staring match, the shark gave in and began to swim away. "Hey you" called the man, "come back for a second" ... POW! Right in the kisser! A reminder to the shark to never even consider challenging such a behemoth again.

[–]TheKnightLife 4 points5 points ago

Are you sure he isn't the ringmaster at a three ring circus?

[–]BokehBurgher 3 points4 points ago

I heard it was a 4 ring circus.

[–]jaggysnake3 3 points4 points ago

Looks like a Hispanic Jack Black.

[–]nixonrichard 4 points5 points ago

This image smells of rich mahogany.

[–]Squirrel_in_ur_head 6 points7 points ago

Something about that mustache just makes me want to hump things.

[–]SgtShinobi 3 points4 points ago

What you don't know is that mustache wasn't there until after punching the shark. By validating his apparent manhood, the mustache spontaneous sprouted.

[–]CasualPumpkins 4 points5 points ago

Ermergerd

KRISKERR

[–]PancakeTune 12 points13 points ago

Title Originality: Fuckyou

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 1 point2 points ago

He had still better watch out for that ticking crocodile.

[–]Wazowski 2 points3 points ago

Horatio Sans + Val Kilmer

[–]Intense_Movie_Lines 2 points3 points ago

Holy crap, this guy was in my graduating class in high school. I need to remember to congratulate him for doing that.

[–]Salmontaxi 2 points3 points ago

Saxton Hale Jr.?

[–]Eliminate_the_Faps 2 points3 points ago

I came here for a Dane Cook joke...none?

[–]oddballodd 2 points3 points ago

Punch shark, get awesome 1890s moustache.

[–]inowhazareddit 2 points3 points ago

I would like to think there is a little Kris Kerr in all of us.

[–]Mallec 2 points3 points ago

That's weird, he doesn't look like, he's been punched, nor does he look much like a shark.

[–]Fuck_Your_Golden 3 points4 points ago

LMAO I know this guy. Went to school together. It happened in New Smyrna Beach, FL. The shark bite capital of the world

[–]equipowin 3 points4 points ago

AMA request.

[–]neostorm360 1 point2 points ago

I dont like my mustache, but if I punched a shark I would definitely grow it out.

[–]heyyouwtf 8 points9 points ago

If you punch a shark this appears on your face when you go to sleep.

[–]grimguitar 1 point2 points ago

I feel as though he didn't even need to use his fists to punch the shark.

[–]bongloadsinbathroom 1 point2 points ago

Dirty sanchez punched a great white. Racism?

[–]monister4815 1 point2 points ago

dat stache...

[–]overused-meme-alert 6 points7 points ago

dat stache.

wee-oo-wee-oo

.

[–]NastyKnate 0 points1 point ago

punching a shark with that stache = the most man ever

[–]i_yurt_on_your_face -1 points0 points ago

All he needs now is a gold chain for that glorious chest hair.

[–]guitarjag72 1 point2 points ago

It's something they teach us in Florida, to punch a shark in the nose as hard as you can, if you have a chance because it will then leave you alone. That aside, however, HOLY FUCK! HE ACTUALLY DID IT!

[–]hamsterdam83 0 points1 point ago

With a mustache like that I imagine he bare knuckle boxed a shark

[–]Ranxeroxxx 0 points1 point ago

The stache challenged the shark to an old timey bare knuckles brawl.

[–]maveric1k 0 points1 point ago

This guy definitely works out with those old timey kettleballs and said he engaged in fisticuffs with that shark.

[–]da_man_made_of_bread 1 point2 points ago

Sweet chest-hair, handlebar mustache plus he punched a shark. This man gets the Gold Edition Man-Card.

[–]skatedaddy 1 point2 points ago

Dat stache'.

[–]shohab 0 points1 point ago

LIKE A BOSS!

[–]TheGetz 1 point2 points ago

.....dad?

[–]eriesurfer88 0 points1 point ago

Holy crap I know this dude. So this is how it feels.

[–]darthrich 1 point2 points ago

This guy makes Chuck Norris look like Chuck Bartowski.

[–]FroggyAvalon 0 points1 point ago

I believe the old executive director of the CIA was also said to have punched a shark- his name was Buzzy Kronguard, or something like that.

[–]DatJapaneseUish 0 points1 point ago

Woah bread, made it to front page? Good for you. ;D

[–]beerob81 0 points1 point ago

Somebody get that man a Heine!

[–]dogjockey 0 points1 point ago

I'm proud to share his last name.

[–]Benamin 1 point2 points ago

jack black with a moustache

[–]aljonez1498 0 points1 point ago

Steve Holt?

[–]Five_Ever 1 point2 points ago

KERR in Kurdish means Dick, which makes it more official.

[–]ALLCAPSROCKS 0 points1 point ago

That chest hair/mustache combo, mmmm.

[–]FrancisCGraf 1 point2 points ago

If it didnt say CBS, I would swear this was from the Onion . . .

[–]theytooktomallen 0 points1 point ago

What 'Man Quality' doesn't this guy have? He probably can play the entire solo for Free Bird note for note.

[–]long_live_king_melon 0 points1 point ago

I see no pork buns.

[–]Nydah 0 points1 point ago

Saxton Hale's less-famous cousin.

[–]RoboLionMan 0 points1 point ago

I bet he didn't have any chest hair or that immortal mustache before he cuffed that shark

[–]ReptarWins 1 point2 points ago

This title made me cringe

[–]terrible_memes 0 points1 point ago

It's me, Mario!

[–]Jabrove 0 points1 point ago

Punched shark: Check
Chest hair: Check
Stache: Check

This guy's a man!

[–]LacksRethics 1 point2 points ago

Punched shark...at Seaworld.

[–]mingels28 0 points1 point ago

Certified Diesel.

[–]ItsHeyAngel 0 points1 point ago

I bet he didn't have that mustache before the incident.

[–]BoldlyIgnorant 0 points1 point ago

man punches a shark...let's put that shit on national news

[–]toxicity959 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if he punched the shark with his fist or with his glorious mustache

[–]Soundfisher 0 points1 point ago

Hahaha, I see this dude at the bar all the time!