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WTF

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all 99 comments

[–]kestert 71 points72 points ago

Just to ask the obvious: Is this a picture of your ex?

[–]VultureCulture 30 points31 points ago

I'm expecting worse. He is a cum guzzling orangutan

[–]dan2737 18 points19 points ago

Cum Guzzling Shimpanza*.

[–]clotting 1 point2 points ago

nice.

[–]CumGuzzlingOrangutan[S] 56 points57 points ago

No. Thankfully it isn't.

[–]MyChairsLeg 29 points30 points ago

Is it a picture of your dog?

[–]CumGuzzlingOrangutan[S] 29 points30 points ago

Yes, very yes.

[–]glenlikespie 4 points5 points ago

Are you a guy? Is your ex a girl?

[–]Max_Beezly 14 points15 points ago

HIS screen name is CumGuzzlingOrangutan what do you think?

[–]Reesch 28 points29 points ago

I'm still undecided.

[–]A_British_Gentleman 3 points4 points ago

Stereotypes are bad... but in this case, probably true.

[–]Lottia -1 points0 points ago

Awesome nick, reference to crazy Reddit girl?

[–]Phrobis-m9 0 points1 point ago

No. It's OP.

[–]drunk_otter 51 points52 points ago

Mm-Mmm - Momma's got some cheese for that cracker.

[–]Metjoeblack 12 points13 points ago

Oh yeah that's Gouda

[–]pibroch 4 points5 points ago

I'm getting pretty feta up with these stupid pun threads.

Usually Reddit is more sharp than this.

[–]Metjoeblack 3 points4 points ago

Don't get bleu. Just Brie easy I won't provolone this any longer

[–]zymurgic 7 points8 points ago

I havarti unsubscribed from this subreddit; you guys are such meunsters

[–]Metjoeblack -1 points0 points ago

Aww cheese whiz I didn't mean it. I'm sorry if I was an asiago

[–]pibroch 4 points5 points ago

Now you all have got my goat, God edammit! You have to stop stringing us along, it's really nacho business anyway, go post somewhere else!

[–]Metjoeblack 3 points4 points ago

Fine I gruyere-y of this anyways.

[–]Calibansdaydream -2 points-1 points ago

You took four cheeses in your post? You're a munster!

[–]Metjoeblack -1 points0 points ago

And there's farmer where that came from

[–]skeavyhippy 0 points1 point ago

yah these pun threads Swiss me off too.

[–]OldCrankyBastard -5 points-4 points ago

Someone cheddar up

[–]Reddit_N_Weep -5 points-4 points ago

I like me some cheezey spread from the can.

[–]beefjuice 140 points141 points ago

I think this is the only logical response.

[–]therealabefrohman 87 points88 points ago

[–]mastr_slik 34 points35 points ago

That... that's something

[–]qataridestroyer 1 point2 points ago

i read that in his voice. fun stuff.

[–]MartieRizer 11 points12 points ago

She was drunk.

[–]joeanon 6 points7 points ago

Yes but just being drunk doesn't make you contact an ex. You have to have some kind of feeling for them usually.

[–]imnotacrazyperson 15 points16 points ago

Confirmed. The only times I have contacted an ex while drunk (or even sober) it has been someone I still have feelings for. Of course that doesn't mean I'd consider being with them again, just that some emotions were so strong that person will always be someone I think about.

[–]MartieRizer 2 points3 points ago

I totally agree with both of you.

[–]binogre 3 points4 points ago

What if I told you that not all breakups are WW3?

[–]Metjoeblack 14 points15 points ago

That is her gay friend that she told everything about you to. Text her back and get that guys digits. He's a keeper

[–]LiquidxSnake 4 points5 points ago

Either I'm watching too many dramas, or this makes an insane amount of sense.

[–]Metjoeblack 0 points1 point ago

Can't it be both?

[–]Kappz 22 points23 points ago

Calling bullshit.

[–]Neil_Armschlong 17 points18 points ago

Yes, this is bullshit.

[–]misterraider 5 points6 points ago

How may I help you?

[–]Slobobodan 2 points3 points ago

Man your stations?

[–]_tomfoolery 5 points6 points ago

After seeing this i had to send it to my boyfriend just to fuck with him.

[–]northkato 5 points6 points ago

must resist urge to send to my ex.

[–]Knotritenaou 4 points5 points ago

If you didn't put the word "her" in your title, I wouldn't have laughed so hard

[–]jxk 10 points11 points ago

I can only assume you immediately proposed to her

[–]Chucknorris1975 7 points8 points ago

It rubs the lotion on its skin

[–]miguelon 6 points7 points ago

Back in my day, you couldn't send images in a text.

[–]BetaMemeTester 0 points1 point ago

Assuming you are not back from the grave, today is also your day.

[–]miguelon 0 points1 point ago

edited for clarity ;I

[–]Kingsize_slim 0 points1 point ago

She's nice can i have her number :)

[–]rapmachinenodiggidy 4 points5 points ago

marry that girl.

[–]Kristyyyyyyy 1 point2 points ago

Wife that woman. Stat.

[–]Metjoeblack 3 points4 points ago

I need 100cc's of wife STAT!

[–]jmathrockthepath 1 point2 points ago

Text her back immediately. That girl's a keeper.

[–]nitcanavan 1 point2 points ago

It's definitely a trap.

[–]ugly-ogre 1 point2 points ago

What did you respond?

[–]ABCdelicious 1 point2 points ago

Your username makes me nauseous.

[–]Berry2Droid 0 points1 point ago

I think she has had a few life changes. She clearly needs your um... support

[–]smooth80 0 points1 point ago

sweet leg-warmers !

[–]chriswinnett 0 points1 point ago

Why does this look like one of my friends dad? Op

[–]Zcypot 0 points1 point ago

Hit it and quit it. Did that before i started dating my now current wife. No regrets.

[–]accountnotfound2 0 points1 point ago

So you know your ex is still gay. Go get him boy.

[–]wackybaccy 0 points1 point ago

She's...umm....NOPE.

[–]ScRuFfYzZz 1 point2 points ago

Redditor for one day, seems legit.

[–]donkeyballZEE 0 points1 point ago

SEXY TIME IN 3...2...1....GO!

[–]Baked_Otter 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck does that look like my dad.

[–]ANBU_Spectre 0 points1 point ago

My, she sure is.....handsome.

[–]scorpio242 0 points1 point ago

I'm worried now, that man looks like my dad when I was younger

[–]sirbeast 0 points1 point ago

Remember WHY she is your ex, and keep those close at heart. You don't want to make the same mistake twice!

[–]zzt711 0 points1 point ago

Interesting.. So when you guys broke up before who initiated it and for what reason?

I'm curious what goes on in a female ex's head when contacting someone they've been broken up with after years. I've had this happen to me twice (I broke things off and it was a 6 and 8 year gap!).

[–]KitsuneRagnell 0 points1 point ago

She wants the dick

[–]omgdracula 0 points1 point ago

Wow she must have really set herself go!

[–]Lonelyguy1 0 points1 point ago

I'm almost physically sick but mostly terrified because this looks very similar to my mom's ex-husband. shutters Only nightmares tonight... sigh

[–]boneblood77 0 points1 point ago

hot

[–]LongJohnSilverspoon 1 point2 points ago

BONE HER

[–]holy_monkeys 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure you need to take her back now.

[–]Recon0212 0 points1 point ago

If there's something I learned recently, if you don't have any hard feelings, speak to her. You never know when she may be gone.

[–]GoopPie 0 points1 point ago

Fuk'n saved.

[–]Rockabellabaker 0 points1 point ago

Upvoting because of your username. I now know I'm a Redditor because I recognize the name from a story in a thread from the other day. Makes me feel gooooood.

[–]gordonfreemn 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me.. I had a one weeks quick 'thing' with a girl, then she realized I'm not the one for me, and pretty much right away also realized I really wasn't even that into her. I don't see her in months and never think about her. Then suddenly about six months later I get a text message, saying "I'm sorry.", nothing else. I roflcopterlolmaomfad pretty hard.

[–]Pwinbutt 0 points1 point ago

I have been through this. This is your ex trying to tell you that they are undergoing a very special transformation. It is never pretty.

[–]sunfistkid 0 points1 point ago

Is it necessary to guzzle cum? I imagine it would be the only way to take it in given (what i would think to be) its distinct flavor?

Either way, it would amount, I would think, to either a collection of cum over several months and/or a submission of cum by several suitors. Perhaps this gentleman is a potential option?

[–]MEANMAN333 0 points1 point ago

My eyes....what has been seen can not be unseen.

[–]momosauky 1 point2 points ago

scientist: sergeant you are going to have to come look at this.

sergeant: what is it.

scientist: look at the bullshit reader, it is at no fucking way this is actually a text he got.

sergeant: dear god, get the president on the line.

[–]Max_Beezly -1 points0 points ago

You better reply and go get yourself some pussy.

[–]da_man_made_of_bread -1 points0 points ago

An NSFW tag would be nice.

[–]Dr_Packenwood -2 points-1 points ago

That's the ugliest Canadian I've ever seen.

[–]letskeepitanonymous -2 points-1 points ago

That's a HER?