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644
645

Hey there Delilah, what's it like in your vagina? (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Xeah

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[–]loradey 476 points477 points ago

The twist: You & Stranger are the same person.

[–]NotaMethAddict 226 points227 points ago

That's just way too perfect to be from two strangers.

Every time I've ever been on Omegle I only get guys masturbating and people spamming ASL? ASL? ASL? ASL?

[–]Gramma42ton 104 points105 points ago

A/S/L?

14/F/ 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C

[–]Red_Woody 77 points78 points ago

P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

[–]thelivingtruth 2 points3 points ago

from now on, I will always answer Asl this way

[–]PillPill 1 point2 points ago

Ooohhh that just made my day

[–]jasperjb 38 points39 points ago

Well that was fun...

[–]WhipIash 42 points43 points ago

American Sign Language. Duh.

[–]devourke 78 points79 points ago

I'm sorry, I'm deaf, I can't read.

[–]Blizzerac 31 points32 points ago

SPEAK UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU

[–]C_IsForCookie 28 points29 points ago

HE SAID HE CANT READ!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bigtubofwater 19 points20 points ago

HE SAID DO YOU WANT SOME CHOCOLATE?

[–]StraY_WolF 15 points16 points ago

CHOOOOOCCOLATE?

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]shanoxilt 1 point2 points ago

    /r/asl

    [–]Jackle13 2 points3 points ago

    Or, even better:

    14/F/1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C.

    [–]Molestinyocookies 0 points1 point ago

    52/M/ 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

    [–]RTHREEB 1 point2 points ago

    A/S/L

    50/M/ 1800 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C.

    [–]Notagtipsy 0 points1 point ago

    Except it's 1600, not 1800. Unless you really want to freak out some poor random guy in Washington, D.C....

    [–]RTHREEB 0 points1 point ago

    Fuck. You're right. :(

    And i wanted to be president one day! :P

    [–]Jaksongitr 0 points1 point ago

    Oh, hey FBI building

    [–]SlipperyGooch 27 points28 points ago

    Previously with 2 friends we've clicked "new" at the same time, and maybe 20% of the time we're paired.

    One time my friend posted "I am Dave!"

    And a complete stranger finished the subtle Yogscast quote.

    [–]imthefooI 27 points28 points ago

    I am Dave exclamation mark Yognaught and I have the balls!

    [–]strider_sifurowuh 6 points7 points ago

    I like to imagine you did the Rimmer salute as well.

    [–]postsinsensitively -4 points-3 points ago

    ...?

    [–]TexasWithADollarsign 4 points5 points ago

    Dave's not here, man.

    [–]Lowbacca1977 9 points10 points ago

    I didn't know Omegle had that many deaf people

    [–]vintermann 1 point2 points ago

    Or wargamers.

    [–]TwinkleTwinkie 7 points8 points ago

    Now it's "kik?". For a little while I thought omegle was full of antisemites.

    [–]Uncleleech 3 points4 points ago

    What's that mean?

    [–]Thormic 9 points10 points ago

    Kik is lol one key to the left.

    [–]Uncleleech 6 points7 points ago

    Kik

    [–]imlost19 8 points9 points ago

    ;p;

    [–]upitchrosin 6 points7 points ago

    .l.

    [–]Uncleleech 0 points1 point ago

    mjm

    [–]Aurilion 3 points4 points ago

    It's a miss-spelling of KEK.

    [–]meaintrussell 2 points3 points ago

    It's actually a phone app. Like instant messenger but on your phones.

    [–]Nickbeam21 5 points6 points ago

    oh you mean like a text message?

    [–]Zagorath 1 point2 points ago

    For me lol one key to the left would be rar. I kinda like that.

    load more comments (2 replies)

      [–]RichB93 0 points1 point ago

      It's an im client for smartphones.

      [–]Lottia 1 point2 points ago

      All I get is girls promising naked chatting. Ugh boobs everywhere..

      [–]Halster94 0 points1 point ago

      American Sign Language?

      [–]AirsoftGlock17 0 points1 point ago

      Hi. I'm Slick Rick.

      Wanna know how i got that name?

      [–]UnderstandingPrimus -1 points0 points ago

      I'm seeing you everywhere.

      [–]Bierce_Bash 0 points1 point ago

      American sign language?

      [–]internet_butt_raper -1 points0 points ago

      I see you hanging off the top comment in every thread it feels like

      [–]SlugsOnToast 8 points9 points ago

      Some are satin, some are steel. Some are silk and some are leather.

      [–]Jakius 2 points3 points ago

      fuck it, I can't not upvote Billy Joel

      [–]Schart -3 points-2 points ago

      Did anyone else read satan

      [–]Xemeriba 1 point2 points ago

      No.

      [–]adawdsdaw 0 points1 point ago

      The meta-twist: The "person" is CleverBot.

      [–]mikev7743 4 points5 points ago

      The REAL twist: you and OP are also the same person.

      [–]shazeline 5 points6 points ago

      The realest twist: everyone on the internet, except for you, is the same person

      [–]Link_to_spacedicks 1 point2 points ago

      The super secret realerest truth: there is nobody on the internet. Just intelligent bots.

      [–]Bierce_Bash 0 points1 point ago

      It just cleverbot.

      [–]ddkkrr 2 points3 points ago

      VAT A TWEEST

      [–]WutsUp 1 point2 points ago

      I thought it may be a follow-up from that post earlier.

      [–]Lesbiefriends 0 points1 point ago

      Jamie Marsters on Omegle.

      [–]Namrorrim 32 points33 points ago

      Oh, it's what you do to me. When you're bent over my knee, bent over my knee. 60 slaps seems pretty rough, but I hear you kind of like that stuff...

      This could be good.

      [–]so_carelessly_here 7 points8 points ago

      So.

      What're you doin' later?

      [–]Namrorrim 6 points7 points ago

      Honestly, smoking some pot, watching 'Jiro Dreams of Sushi', eating a sammich, and then going to work for a lovely 14 hour shift :)

      [–]so_carelessly_here 1 point2 points ago

      WOAH, DUDE, YOU'RE PERFECT!

      [–]Namrorrim -1 points0 points ago

      Niggah please, we all know that Nobody is perfect, and I'm... well shit. ;-;

      [–]ReginaldIII 0 points1 point ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJ0

      [–]C_IsForCookie 1 point2 points ago

      Hi I'm Michael Thomas from Interscope records and I'd like to offer you a 5 million dollar contract to tour the world and sing these beautiful words.

      [–]Namrorrim 1 point2 points ago

      I would love to sign, but that other guy offered me 5 million and 1.

      [–]C_IsForCookie 1 point2 points ago

      I'll give you 5 million and 1 and 50 cents but that's as high as I can go.

      [–]Namrorrim 2 points3 points ago

      5 million, one, and 75 cents, and I want a canary.

      [–]C_IsForCookie 0 points1 point ago

      Deal. But you made no indication of whether or not the canary had to be alive.

      [–]Namrorrim 1 point2 points ago

      this is fair.

      [–]DJgoat 125 points126 points ago

      is it bad that i read "til i'm inside" as "today i learned i'm inside"?

      [–]NotaMethAddict 74 points75 points ago

      This sounds like Reddit stand up:

      "You know you're a Redditor when you read til as 'Today I learned'"

      [–]SupermanV2 102 points103 points ago

      Shitty_Standup

      [–]NotaMethAddict 89 points90 points ago

      What's the deal with these Redditors? Am I right?

      [–]TheAtomicPlayboy 70 points71 points ago

      Most reddit comments are already Shitty_Standup

      [–]NotaMethAddict 33 points34 points ago

      ...I'm probably really guilty of doing this.

      [–]Farisr9k 23 points24 points ago

      'Probably'?

      [–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 10 points11 points ago

      Probably really

      He knows.

      [–]Farisr9k 9 points10 points ago

      You're not so innocent yourself, Dildo.

      [–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 5 points6 points ago

      I never claimed innocence, good sir. I'm just a humble redditor, popping up every so often....

      vanishes

      [–]BrainSlurper 8 points9 points ago

      The blindingly green box next to your name agrees.

      [–]WhipIash 0 points1 point ago

      How many times have you upvoted him. Personally it's only 5.

      I've upvoted you 4 times though O.o

      [–]A_Mouse_In_Da_House 0 points1 point ago

      I delete my browsing history so no one gets an unfair advantage

      [–]WhipIash 0 points1 point ago

      I don't really notice those sorts of things while voting.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]Hotrootsoup 2 points3 points ago

        Since you two are here already, TheAtomicPlayboy, you are at +26 from me. NotaMethAddict, you are at +22, step up your game.

        [–]wilmic01 0 points1 point ago

        What's the deal with ovaltine? Have you ever had this stuff?

        [–]medicinalkfc -1 points0 points ago

        And whats the airline food?

        [–]lydocia 9 points10 points ago

        Shitty_Standup

        SupermanV2 - 1 hour ago

        /u/Shitty_Standup

        redditor for 1 hour

        [–]SupermanV2 1 point2 points ago

        Also, /u/Shitty_Colorize and /u/shitty_titler

        [–]lydocia 4 points5 points ago

        So you have three novelty accounts which you're not keeping a secret at all?

        [–]SupermanV2 7 points8 points ago

        Also /u/AustralianRedditor, /u/DeadpoolV2, /u/WarKitty and more that I can't think of I'm sure.

        I have a cornucopia of failed novelty accounts. I have no reason to lie about them.

        [–]UnholyDemigod 10 points11 points ago

        I thought the AustralianRedditor one was going to be funny, with just a shitload of swearing and aussie slang, but when I saw that each comment was upside down, it made me hate you just a little bit.

        [–]SupermanV2 0 points1 point ago

        Yeah, I gave up on it pretty quick. That was a long time ago and I've grown as a person and a redditor since then. I don't think it's funny, why should anyone else?

        Also I am actually Australian, in case that wasn't clear.

        [–]lains 6 points7 points ago

        Wait....

        People live in Australia?

        [–]lydocia 1 point2 points ago

        Why don't you use them more often?

        [–]SupermanV2 5 points6 points ago

        I honestly just get distracted too easily. I'll create them thinking it's a great idea and then I realise I can't really handle more than one account at a time so I always fall back to Supes.

        [–]lydocia 3 points4 points ago

        Do you use RES? Easy switching between accounts, so if you ever come across a post that you think any of your novelties would have a great response for, you can switch back and forth in one click.

        [–]C_IsForCookie 0 points1 point ago

        A cornucopia you say?

        [–]CommandADelete 1 point2 points ago

        Was shitty_colorize you!?

        [–]SupermanV2 1 point2 points ago

        Yeah. /u/KingoftheInternet too.

        [–]Overeacting 2 points3 points ago

        You should really just stick to one account, Trevor.

        [–]SupermanV2 2 points3 points ago

        Don't overreact there mate.

        [–]CommandADelete 1 point2 points ago

        Hahaha I didn't even see that before.

        [–]DontSayAlot 1 point2 points ago

        MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE

        [–]BananaInsane121 0 points1 point ago

        I think you got a case of DID there mate

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]N2tZ 1 point2 points ago

          After one show everybody would be booing the guy off stage for reposts. Well everybody except the newcomers.

          [–]sadisticsam 1 point2 points ago

          "You know you're a Redditor when you read today i learned as "Today I learned"

          [–]JasonGD1982 0 points1 point ago

          I don't think it's a bad thing, but I dont believe it's a good thing either. I did the same so don't beat yourself up too much.

          [–]CommandADelete 1 point2 points ago

          Well that settles that.

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]WhipIash 3 points4 points ago

          I like me some jpeg.

          [–]Revanx17 8 points9 points ago

          This week on made up text conversations...

          [–]SupermanV2 20 points21 points ago

          This is far and away the best version of that song.

          [–]pblokhout 9 points10 points ago

          Hey man, just asking. Are you posting this in this thread because it's very likely to become big? Is it for the karma?

          I'm curious about the stories that you guys stalk for karmabombthreads. Just saw this in post coming up in /r/RisingThreads.

          [–]SupermanV2 7 points8 points ago

          That's how I found the link but if I don't have anything of interest to post I wont. I remembered seeing this youtube video a few years back and wanted to share!

          [–]pblokhout 2 points3 points ago

          Thanks for the answer. It just makes me think of how celebrity actually works. We think that singers and moviestars are just famous, like that. But they need to find the places where they will recieve top attention (karma in a way) so they stay on top.

          Forgotten celebrities are just that, novelty accounts that everyone lost interest in.

          [–]SupermanV2 2 points3 points ago

          I've never considered myself a celebrity. I think the idea of "reddit celebrities" is a joke. I try to respond to every person I can to the best of my knowledge. Some people find a reason to hate me but I guess haters gonna hate.

          I am not a unique snowflake.

          [–]pblokhout 1 point2 points ago

          I think you are a bit different from apostolate and others. But that's because I think you are an individual. I don't know you, but I think you're not into the karmagaming business as some others are around here. You just "play" with the system.

          Ah well, I'm giving this too much attention. I'm just curious about some things work in humanity. I find it very interesting when you can find something in the mechanics of humans on this internet that also works in the off-line environment, just less visible.

          [–]SupermanV2 2 points3 points ago

          Thanks, I appreciate it.

          And this is me. Just one lonely dude on reddit.

          [–]swrdswllngwhr 1 point2 points ago

          You have nice eyebrows.

          I just... I like them. I really don't know why.

          [–]SupermanV2 2 points3 points ago

          Well you made me smile, so thanks! I used to post to ladybonersGW back in the day, before there was too much competition haha.

          [–]wanderlvst 0 points1 point ago

          When will people understand that everyone knows that karma is meaningless. It's acceptance. It's visibility. It's influence.

          [–]Tenstone 1 point2 points ago

          WTF man, He posted a relevant and amusing video which entertained us. Who cares about Karma?

          [–]pblokhout 1 point2 points ago

          He posted it in a thread that's likely to get big. It was posted in /r/RisingThreads. I was curious if he did this on purpose. And yes, people care about karma.

          [–]NotaMethAddict 3 points4 points ago

          OAG has nothing on him.

          [–]ProfessorDuncan 1 point2 points ago

          The comments have the same lyrics from this post..

          [–]Redditor8472 1 point2 points ago

          That was hilarious, yet terrible. The random Chuck Woolery reference got me.

          [–]theocidal_maniac 0 points1 point ago

          Personally I prefer this one.

          [–]beebopcola 1 point2 points ago

          Not to be a one upper, but this is definitely the best version.

          [–]mrhashman 7 points8 points ago

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kyf_3gizO2w

          I'll just leave this here.

          [–]danny841 2 points3 points ago

          Oh how I love Psycho Mike. Its a shame Loveline sucks giant dildos now.

          [–]KingOfTheMonkeys 1 point2 points ago

          I don't know what you're talking about, but it's kind of scaring me.

          [–]gleefulsplosh 2 points3 points ago

          I was going to be seriously disappointed if someone didn't post that video. I MEAN, COME ON, NOW. You don't get to hear Sausage wallet nearly enough....

          [–]Captain_Sparky 0 points1 point ago

          :D

          I made that video for them ages ago!

          It's pretty half-assed and out of sync, but that's actually okay because the original version of the video is just as half-assed and out of sync

          [–]SuperSchmyd 15 points16 points ago

          title comnts points age /r/
          Omegle 0coms -5pts 14dys funny
          Hey there Delilah...[Text NSFW] 131coms 707pts 6mos funny
          Hey there, Delilah... (NSFW text) 116coms 503pts 1yr funny

          [–]BranFlakes188 1 point2 points ago

          Yum yum karma.

          [–]princeabbas2000 3 points4 points ago

          was i the only one who sang it the whole way..?

          [–]youregonnaloveme 2 points3 points ago

          Absolutely not. Took me 45 seconds to get through instead of 10

          [–]TACTICALMCNUGGETS 7 points8 points ago

          There's no way...just no way..I've yet to find any intelligent life on omegle..

          [–]Affar 1 point2 points ago

          Why assuming you are the intelligent life?

          [–]CptLuke 2 points3 points ago

          Hey there Delilah didn't mean to cum inside ya

          [–]Guano_Loco 5 points6 points ago

          This version is creepy enough to match the story behind the actual song.

          [–]scots23 5 points6 points ago

          He got hammered, told a girl he wrote a song about her, she said bullshit, he ended up writing this song about her. That is basically the summary of what he said on a radio interview I heard. Ooooh super creepy.

          [–]vannucker 2 points3 points ago

          He left out the part where he raped an killed her.

          [–]TitusRome 5 points6 points ago

          Hey there Delilah, what's it like there in Rack City? I see mounds and mounds of titties, and ten to ten of twenties, oh close your eyes... Open your mouth, I have a suprise. Did I get your eyes? Ohhhh, would you please fuck meee? Oh, would you please fuck me? Ohh, just please keep the baby, ohh, please keep the baby, please keep the baby...

          [–]Eternitras 7 points8 points ago

          Nothing ever did not happen more than this.

          [–]DirectInjected 0 points1 point ago

          Odds of this being real: 12,896 to 1

          Place your bets, ladies and gents, place your bets!

          [–]you_bred_raptors 1 point2 points ago

          Hey there delilah what's it like to have big titties; everytime I fuck your asshole I think of Conway twitty; yes I do. I fantasize you are a dude, one who is tattooed.

          [–]DavidJeffers 3 points4 points ago

          And THAT'S how I met your mother.

          [–]CloseEnough 0 points1 point ago

          For you

          [–]prajwel 1 point2 points ago

          By Plain White Twat's

          [–]narfpoit 0 points1 point ago

          Ravenously inappropriate, but very funny

          [–]idomeyoudoyou 1 point2 points ago

          Oh, the genius minds of these two souls.

          [–]KhemikalReaction 1 point2 points ago

          I hope to one day have a completely impromptu conversation with a stranger that mimics the near perfect synchronization of intent and form of this post.

          [–]frafoa 1 point2 points ago

          This is how you find your other half. It's a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing.

          [–]Affar 1 point2 points ago

          Fake or not it is hilarious

          [–]r0b0torg 1 point2 points ago

          Don't care if its fake....

          [–]LovelyBaker 0 points1 point ago

          Thanks for this treasure. I needed a good.chuckle.

          [–]stayinfresh 0 points1 point ago

          I'll post a vid of me playing this song tommorow, bc it's 2:19 am right now

          [–]EcureuilSecret 0 points1 point ago

          I eagerly await your rendition.

          [–]AgentFlood 2 points3 points ago

          We're waiting.

          [–]Phoequinox 0 points1 point ago

          Once, my buddy and I spent an hour on AIM making up band names, substituting words in existing band names with "Perv". At one point, my internet cut out, and we resumed like it never even happened. We both came to the conclusion that he "won" with "Pearl Verts".

          [–]jeroen94704 1 point2 points ago

          I used to have a girlfriend named Delilah. I wonder what she'd think of this.

          [–]salmon10 0 points1 point ago

          LOL...kids!

          [–]bobdelany 0 points1 point ago

          This isn't Tom Jones' Delilah.

          [–]virtualmatrix555 0 points1 point ago

          Showed this to my girlfriend and she got turned on. Thank you Reddit.

          [–]filmdakid 0 points1 point ago

          Must resist urge to hum the song as I read this

          [–]Ricojordanrai -1 points0 points ago

          Repost.

          [–]scratchyballs 1 point2 points ago

          And their bodies became entwined, their souls one. At that moment they looked down and it dawned upon them..there are two dangling boners.

          [–]Evilindisguise 0 points1 point ago

          I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time. thank you.

          [–]SoupMayonnaise 0 points1 point ago

          Impressive!!

          [–]ThatKlGuyEd 0 points1 point ago

          I felt pretty weird after singing that to myself

          [–]pankobabaunka 0 points1 point ago

          Comment to learn On guitar after work.

          [–]Kitsunami 1 point2 points ago

          Internet. Make this happen.

          [–]layzor 1 point2 points ago

          i sang that out loud while reading.

          [–]thatolemountainman 0 points1 point ago

          someone please make a video of this song.

          [–]Ahnenglanz 1 point2 points ago

          Hey there Delilah whats it like to be a fakepost?

          [–]Cucumber4MePlz 0 points1 point ago

          This song is about the singers lil sister.

          [–]jacobi123 0 points1 point ago

          The creepy thing is I've done this in my head when this song was everywhere.

          I would start "Hey there Delilah I want to get up inside ya" and then go off from there. Can't say I'm proud of that, but there it is.

          [–]nolwat22 0 points1 point ago

          Repost

          [–]ZetsubouZolo 1 point2 points ago

          I lost it at "Don't you worry about protection" Entire fucking office is staring at me right now...

          [–]mithinkso 0 points1 point ago

          That got funny real quick.

          [–]heytheredelilahTOR 0 points1 point ago

          You called?

          [–]Siethron 0 points1 point ago

          Not actually knowing any lyrics past "hey there Delilah" it would not surprise me if this was the real song.

          [–]Husty 0 points1 point ago

          gonna learn the guitar thing, and then sing it to a girl. shit better work...

          [–]ykhan95 0 points1 point ago

          chicken sausage

          [–]Jaksongitr 0 points1 point ago

          Give me 2 weeks, I'll completely rewrite and record the song out.

          [–]gibnihtmus -1 points0 points ago

          I'm going to take a wild guess but I think they are the same person. Considering there was a guy earlier who tried to chat with two people at the same time ended up chatting with him self.

          [–]a_red_crayola 1 point2 points ago

          this is one of the unfunniest things I've seen this summer, syrian revolution included

          [–]jormugandr -3 points-2 points ago

          Not even slightly funny.

          [–]barrythepirate -2 points-1 points ago

          All day long, all I see is reposts ...

          http://www.reddit.com/search?q=Hey+there+Delilah

          [–]DarrylCes -5 points-4 points ago

          Just an awful song. Still funny though!!

          [–]EnysAtSea -2 points-1 points ago

          Nailed it.

          load more comments (7 replies)

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