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555
556

I need you to do something..QUICK! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by AntiSOPA

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[–]BrokenBelief 222 points223 points ago

It may have been mildly clever, but in 99% of cases, I'm still going to side against the look-at-my-shoulders-and-pecks bro.

[–]slipperyfist 53 points54 points ago

I'd hardly call it clever. He basically asked her to pick a number then subtract that number. Not exactly a clever way to get to 0.

[–]Renmauzuo 22 points23 points ago

Not only that, but replying and going through all that conversational effort makes it quite clear that the number of fucks given exceeds 0.

[–]Satans_pro_tips 34 points35 points ago

Yeah, that wasn't clever at all. As a matter of fact, I thought it was going to be more of a Sean Connery vs Alex Trebek type of exchange:

"Wait Alex, tell me let you a joke."

"Ok"

"What is the difference between a goat and a T-rex?"

"I don't know. What?"

"I don't know either but your mother is a whore."

this is not a quote from actual show but you get the point.

[–]jogga 8 points9 points ago

"What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore."

[–]coutNotes 18 points19 points ago

"pecs"

I thought this dude had a party trick where he... asks somebody to look at his shoulders, and then he pecks at them, like a chicken.

[–]iAmJawshh 2 points3 points ago

I was thinking more along the lines of him putting some seed on his shoulder, and then going to town on it.

[–]survivalrate 29 points30 points ago

I don't know. She DID say "Talk shit on" with a capital T. But she seems like a nice girl, she agreed to help him out and say a number.

[–]pieisbetter2 3 points4 points ago

He said side against, not with.

[–]survivalrate 8 points9 points ago

I'm aware.

[–]pieisbetter2 2 points3 points ago

Ah, my bad. Misinterpreted

[–]poonstangable 1 point2 points ago

I actually read over that part thanks for pointing that out. (not trying to be sarcastic)

[–]AgentDaedalus 1 point2 points ago

I did not realize that person was female.

[–]survivalrate 0 points1 point ago

I had to double check myself.

[–]blahblahblahxyz123 3 points4 points ago

Not sure who is stupider...the girl for falling for this shit or the guy for his caveman math skills.

[–]Wethequeens13 5 points6 points ago

I CAN DO NUMBERS.

[–]LordSocky 3 points4 points ago

I CAN SMASH NUMBERS

[–]popojoe -1 points0 points ago

HULK SMASH NUMBERS

[–]I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS -2 points-1 points ago

pecks

SOMEONE 'SHOP SOME GREGORY PECKS ON THAT BAD BOY. I DONT HAVE GIMP ON THIS MACHINE.

[–]strangersdk -2 points-1 points ago

pecs*

Short for pectorals.

[–]fishstickuffs 27 points28 points ago

Facebook- providing newer and more immediate ways to be a worthless asshole since 2004.

[–]0dh 23 points24 points ago

Hey guys I've got a really cool idea, I'll make my profile picture a greyscale photo of me with my shirt off.

[–]Belaires 151 points152 points ago

This is not clever. Stop acting like a little shit.

[–]TheRapesauce 7 points8 points ago

Its not him, its a guy named Tristan Barker. Look him up in Facebook, he has a page with 120k likes

[–]TearHugger 16 points17 points ago

But... but... karma.

[–]albrano -2 points-1 points ago

The guy may be a nice guy, who happened to piss off the female's friend and she's being a normal girl and speaking her mind.

I can't think of a better way to dismiss that.

However, his picture does shout douche...

[–]ArabRedditor -2 points-1 points ago

As rapesauce explained his name is tristan barker and people dislike him because he says things people are too uncomfortable to say, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e74_SjplEbw

[–]albrano 2 points3 points ago

Although I appreciate the message he is trying to relay in this particular video you've shown me (specifically the batman portion because that is as far as I've at this moment), the way he delivers it could use some work, like dropping the swearing.

[–]ArabRedditor 0 points1 point ago

I totally agree, but at one point i think someone gets annoyed by the worlds ignorance and dumbassry(not a real word but whatever) that someone just snaps and does not care or think anymore and just cuts to the chase.

[–]albrano 1 point2 points ago

At this day and age, dumbassery and asshatery are excellent words to describe the state of affair regarding the amount of the world's ignorance.

In regards to snapping, everyone has a point, but most don't go out visibly and curse the head off. He does deserve some kudos, but little else.

[–]WestWays818 15 points16 points ago

Just saw this on Facebook.

[–]mellooo 5 points6 points ago

reddit is reposting facebook :o

[–]Stavros175 1 point2 points ago

It's been going on for a while.

[–]OneEyedCyclops 52 points53 points ago

Ya, that shirtless black and white pictured prick totally showed that girl up, when she called him out! wooooo.....

[–]ArabRedditor -4 points-3 points ago

Dont judge a book by its cover.

[–]OneEyedCyclops 2 points3 points ago

True, but obviously his personality wasn't great either.

[–]copperlocket 31 points32 points ago

Seen this guy before, to be fair he IS an unbelievably pretentious douchebag.

[–]inside_your_face 4 points5 points ago

Maybe 10% of the things he says are funny, but he tries so hard and I feel kind of sorry for him because he seems to think he's famous.

[–]sheeeeeeet 115 points116 points ago

I've reached my verdict on you, OP

[–]epiclulz4real 58 points59 points ago

Here we go again

[–]nukalurk 49 points50 points ago

My pokedex agrees...

[–]adrian_t45 53 points54 points ago

http://i.minus.com/iP5R36enw624v.gif

[–]anangrybanana 26 points27 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/sg1t2.jpg

[–]BananaQwop 9 points10 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/741w3.jpg

[–]Subject_69 3 points4 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/o7lSz.jpg

[–]GoldLegends -5 points-4 points ago

This is the best one I've seen.. I'm prolly biased because of how attracted I am by her.

[–]NewDrekSilver 13 points14 points ago

SERIOUSLY what the fuck this shit has been on /r/funny all fucking summer, not only is it unnecessarily douchey, it's not fucking funny at all.

[–]mlikweblue 3 points4 points ago

Summer's over for most schools, reddit's just always been like this.

[–]GENOCIDEGeorge 5 points6 points ago

We're reposting Tristan/Facebeef for karma now? Sigh.

[–]Davedough 32 points33 points ago

Mr. AntiSOPA, what you've just shown is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent web browsing were you even close to anything that could be considered a realistic web browser. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen you using Internet Explorer. I award you no upvote, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[–]gonerlad 3 points4 points ago

Definitely my favourite scene in Billy Madison. The puppy who lost its waaaaay.

[–]michaelp657 0 points1 point ago

I always wondered I use explorer and I have never had problems at all what make Firefox or chrome better? I tried then out on several computers and I didn't see any difference.

[–]Icomefromb 1 point2 points ago

Features and speed mainly. Also a good UI is nice to have.

[–]Soulzityr -1 points0 points ago

It's mostly reputation though. The newest versions are just as good/even better than firefox/chrome in some cases

[–]michaelp657 0 points1 point ago

Don't be mad but what's a UI?

[–]Icomefromb 0 points1 point ago

Haha I'm not mad, it's a user interface.

[–]studmuffffffin 1 point2 points ago

Context.

[–]SapioSexualLove 1 point2 points ago

I didn't even have to read your whole comment to know where you were going but I did it anyway for giggles.

[–]MomTackey 10 points11 points ago

Oh Tristan, you ass

[–]wellamiright 1 point2 points ago

yes yes yes

[–]baumkramer 3 points4 points ago

ugh wtf? fine uhhh 183

lol yea sure

[–]wantilles 0 points1 point ago

Karma over reason my friend

[–]CammTheMuss 1 point2 points ago

This motherfucker is a piece of shit who thinks, just because he has an extensive vocabulary (most of which probably comes from synonym.com to make him look that little bit more intelligent), targets people who do not type complete sentences with correct spelling. He then proceeds to shit all over them with insults that are (as I said above) basically just synonyms of each other. They aren't funny or clever, and his "followers" are just as useless human beings that think the sun shines out of his arse because he is consistently "trolling" people.

[–]Charles_K 1 point2 points ago

lol, there's a word we have for these kinds of people: pseudointellectuals. They often don't even consider the connotations behind the words and proper times to use them.

[–]damnMongorians 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I've always been impressed by his vast knowlege; STDs, mental retardation, fecal matter... All excellent examples of a scholar.

[–]Duckshunz -1 points0 points ago

"They don't even consider the connotations behind the words". Very good use of irony, considering you were replying (and agreeing) with someone who just described exactly what you did.

[–]Charles_K 0 points1 point ago

Though you have a point, I don't think it's a very good one. The biggest and scariest words I used there were "connotation" and "pseudointellectual". What I said should be easily understood by your layman.

Now if I were to be aghast at how impertinent you were, then, certainly, this entire conundrum would be a different one indeed. And, there are appropriate times to use big SAT words, but most of the people that Camm is hinting towards don't know such times.

[–]jesaub 9 points10 points ago

I need you to do something... QUICK!

Downvote this pretentious douchebag to hell...

[–]mkshotty 2 points3 points ago

Bristan Tarker. The facebook page is called Facebeef for Tristan Barker. one of his posts on nicki minajs wall got over 1 million likes.

[–]dcisbabe 1 point2 points ago

While this picture is righteously receiving hate, I would like to point out it is on of the less funny things this guy, (Tristan Barker) who has 150k likes on Facebook, has done.

He's been a bit cold lately, but he's most well known for receiving the most likes on a text-post in Facebook ever. It was a post on Nicki Minaj's wall:

https://www.facebook.com/nickiminaj/posts/466129123408743

[–]ticklemepenis 3 points4 points ago

Holy Shit, i don't know who nikki minaj is but i doubt she deserves that just for making music.

[–]dcisbabe -1 points0 points ago

Unfortunately, she has done much more than make music.

[–]mkshotty 0 points1 point ago

do you live under a rock? nicki minaj? doesnt ring a bell? she made Super Bass and You a Stupid Hoe.

[–]ticklemepenis 1 point2 points ago

Well I don't really listen to music, and yeah i normally do live under a rock regarding celebrity things unless reddit talks about it lol.

But I just listened to a song and it sounded alright. Certainly not worth such anger, unless I'm missing something. Which I probably am since I'm disagreeing with the most liked status in the history of ever.

[–]Duckshunz 0 points1 point ago

Go tickle your penis.

[–]mkshotty 1 point2 points ago

well if you took offense i didnt mean that, but seriously, if you dont see something wrong with her making a song called "You a stupid hoe" and 10 year olds listening to it, then theres something wrong with you. i heard my 7 year old SISTER singing it a few days ago aswell.

[–]ticklemepenis 0 points1 point ago

Nope no offense taken, but how is it her fault if 10 year olds listen to it? Unless it was marketed to ten year olds or something

[–]damnMongorians 0 points1 point ago

Had no idea this was the same guy but that makes total sense now considering that was the gayest facebook post I've ever seen. "Let's be irrationally angry about a pop artist who does the same thing 95% of pop stars do and then show everyone how edgy and brave I am."

Not even touching base on the fact that every "insult" he makes is unbelievably juvenile. "I'm being so serious right now, your tastes differ from mine, get yourself checked [why, you ask? lol I have a zinger coming up...] cuz you're probably A DUMMY!" and "Let me dig into my vast library of things that are not given respect... ah, yes, 'poop', it's just obscure enough to work! Hey nicki, I like POOP more than you! LOL"

[–]dcisbabe 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of the post either. Just what he's best known for.

Majority of the older things he's done have been much more hilarious though. Maybe check some of his other stuff out.

[–]nuclearblaster 2 points3 points ago

I'll take 100 for "things that never happened"

[–]erryday_IAm_rustling 3 points4 points ago

Vote to keep facebook screencaps they said, they're funny they said.

[–]ThatSleepyGuy 2 points3 points ago

Nothing has ever not happened as much as this. wtf are negative numbers lol

[–]riptaway 1 point2 points ago

Fake. Who would actually say a number in that situation

[–]Aranoxf5 4 points5 points ago

"Subtract 100 again". He never asked her to subtract 100 before, he asked to subtract 83. She could of got him!

[–]Berwickmex 4 points5 points ago

Could "have". I got you ;)

[–]mew0 0 points1 point ago

nice

[–]ClearlyDoesntGetIt 1 point2 points ago

seems legit

[–]moral_orel 0 points1 point ago

Ha.

[–]Ruined534 1 point2 points ago

Dude looks like a loser.

[–]aroxion 0 points1 point ago

Can someone explain this?

[–]johnbeltrano 1 point2 points ago

The girl was talking shit to a douchebag, said douchebag asked her to pick a number. She does, he tells her to do math until the result is zero, to which he concludes that this is the number of fucks that he gives.

[–]AshTheBestiest 1 point2 points ago

Facebeef is one hell of a facebook page.

[–]Phillile 0 points1 point ago

Confirmed: guy is a fucking jack ass.

[–]TheDespondentZombie 0 points1 point ago

Shirts? Where we're going we don't need shirts.

[–]rraptor1985 0 points1 point ago

Fake

[–]danoll 1 point2 points ago

Haha. This sucks.

[–]Art_VandelaySC 1 point2 points ago

This reeks of fakeness.

[–]Aftershock7 0 points1 point ago

That was awful and douchbaggy

[–]publius4 0 points1 point ago

Well this is definitely real.

[–]MasticateOrDie 0 points1 point ago

Face the beef

[–]hopsinduo 0 points1 point ago

Your profile pictures are bad, and you should feel bad!!!

[–]esven37 0 points1 point ago

"I LOVE MY LIFE AS A DICKHEAAAAADDDD!"

[–]chico12307 0 points1 point ago

Just for the ones who dont know, this is literally reposted directly off of facebook and it was done by a somewhat famous australian called Tristan barker

[–]iLuVtiffany 0 points1 point ago

No.

[–]TheNamelessCharacter 0 points1 point ago

Ah Tristian, you clever fuck.

[–]TitsAndAssMan 0 points1 point ago

https://www.facebook.com/deleteusagaindoitidareyou this guy is the person in black and white

[–]Fausto1981 0 points1 point ago

she's an idiot

[–]GeorgeForemanGrillz 0 points1 point ago

Bitter ex-gf thread?

[–]frostedcakes 0 points1 point ago

I have discovered the man in the photos true identity... Tristan Barker.

[–]HanHarlo -1 points0 points ago

You really blurred out Tristan Barkers name

[–]ibealpaca 0 points1 point ago

i have to use that

[–]Portablewalrus 0 points1 point ago

Yea but I bet she said something that really hurt his feelings afterwords.

[–]Dubwell 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one here who feels everyone should downvote this post with intensity of the sun?

[–]Kyle_Crafty 1 point2 points ago

I like how he took the effort to type him thinking.

[–]skat0r 2 points3 points ago

Well she was right, OP is a faggot

[–]sledsbehave 1 point2 points ago

dumbest use of the Internet ever

[–]Nilliak 1 point2 points ago

Dude, dude, bro, dudebro, check out my pecs... LOOK AT THEM BITCH! Please, contain your orgasms as I floor you with my amazing douchiness muscles!

[–]KateMQ -2 points-1 points ago

Tristan Barker. Internet's best troll.

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