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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 771 points772 points ago

I'm half Russian half Indian and I tried to join the Asian club on campus. That's in fact most of Asia.

[–]Thydamine 638 points639 points ago

"I still don't believe him."

...

"Give him some math."

[–]glaedr 248 points249 points ago

"And some vodka."

[–]ohaithere123098 123 points124 points ago

Everyone knows that Russians think best while intoxicated.

[–]calicojones 101 points102 points ago

Asian-Russians are the worst drunk drivers.

[–]pgan91 50 points51 points ago

No no, you got that all wrong. Us Asians are bad at driving because we have to be sober to drive in the states.

Just wait till you see us after a few shots.

[–]GhettoKid 115 points116 points ago

Fractions and Furious

[–]3sofb 73 points74 points ago

D(e)rive

[–]ColouredPants 15 points16 points ago

As a Russian Jew I can confirm this for an agreed amount of vodka.

[–]bootselectric 21 points22 points ago

"everyone knows Asians can't hold their liquor"

[–]Second_Foundationeer 10 points11 points ago

I heard that ancient Chinese liquor is hard as fuck.. then it makes wonder why I want to throw up from smelling vodka..

[–]pgan91 6 points7 points ago

Baijiu is typically 40-60% ABV. I fucking love it.

[–]MrTutti 9 points10 points ago

Actually East Indians can hold their liquor, trust me im punjabi

[–]HippieTrippie 23 points24 points ago

Isn't Punjab in west India?

[–]DerpExplosion 19 points20 points ago

Check and mate.

[–]DCFP 2 points3 points ago

its in north india

[–]whatwhywhy 47 points48 points ago

Im curious about your appearance ...

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 308 points309 points ago

Here is a picture of me with two German homosexuals.

[–]LeonTrotsky_on_speed 80 points81 points ago

Rajesh Tsiolkovsky.

[–]Phyics_Son 20 points21 points ago

so many stereotypes coming together

[–]sean85 26 points27 points ago

He likes vodka in his curry.

[–]alimusa 6 points7 points ago

and tandoori bbq potatoes...

[–]mrsambo99 2 points3 points ago

That actually sounds good.

[–]PlatonicTroglodyte 3 points4 points ago

Vladimir Patel.

[–]perge99 267 points268 points ago

I love your hat!!!

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 78 points79 points ago

Fuckin reddit switcheroo got 10 more upvotes than the actual picture.

[–]perge99 16 points17 points ago

Kazam!!!

[–]Im_not_pedobear 90 points91 points ago

As a German I'd like to point out that we dont usually look like this... we are usually more fabulous

[–]TmlzMiso 27 points28 points ago

You Germans must be beautiful people.

[–]LeonTrotsky_on_speed 34 points35 points ago

Speaking as a Frenchman; Germans have never done anything wrong.

[–]HoopyFreud 7 points8 points ago

Oh, sure, Leon. French.

[–]LeonTrotsky_on_speed 3 points4 points ago

Trotsky lived in France for almost 3 years, it's plausible! And his birth name was Lev Brohnstein, if that's not a big enough hint.

[–]AnkhOmega 4 points5 points ago

Did not think I'd be reading that today. Thanks.

[–]Phyics_Son 5 points6 points ago

old gay guys are hilarious - I take it they tried flirting with you?

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 26 points27 points ago

Yup, but I eventually had to tell them i wasnt gay. Made the butt sex pretty awkward. http://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/wpvjx/updateamerican_on_biz_alone_in_munich_on_25th/

[–]PotatoGirl 8 points9 points ago

Hmm. Half Russian/Half Indian is actually pretty sexy. Go figure.

[–]bonnielovesclyde 5 points6 points ago

Totally makes sense. Russians: crazy; Indians:Kama Sutra. Hot sex guaranteed.

[–]PotatoGirl 2 points3 points ago

Oh my god you're right. Ill_show_myself_out must be some sort of sex god...

[–]Chridsdude 4 points5 points ago

So you were in Full House?

[–]SporkEnthusiast 2 points3 points ago

You are a very handsome man... enjoy the rest of your evening ;)

[–]mypantsareonmyhead 1 point2 points ago

Now there's a sentence you don't hear every day.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 3 points4 points ago

You don't know me.

[–]cake_in_the_rain 2 points3 points ago

You were dying to show us that picture, weren't you....

[–]Firebert010 1 point2 points ago

Gypsy material.

[–]juchem69z 57 points58 points ago

I'll assume you had to show yourself out.

[–]bradygilg 59 points60 points ago

Uh I'm straight up white and joined our school's Asian club. We just played Ping Pong and Super Smash Brothers after school.

[–]dirice87 13 points14 points ago

Asian kids don't give a fuck what color you are as long as you can wavedash in super smash brothers, true fact.

[–]karanj 23 points24 points ago

Asian at heart.

[–]P0liticallyIncorrect 33 points34 points ago

Dude! I'm half Indian half Russian too! I...I...I thought I was the only one! Out of curiosity, how did your parents meet? Mine met whilst studying in England.. I'm about to join uni and will be sure to join the Asian society too :)

EDIT: Here is me learning the ways of my people: http://imgur.com/Zn7Pt I'm the one in red if its not obvious. (Excuses for the dress sense, it was a few years back)

[–]agoyalwm 8 points9 points ago

Guys me too! My dad went to Russia to try and start a business in the midst of perestroika. How many of us are there??

[–]P0liticallyIncorrect 16 points17 points ago

We grow more numerous and powerful. Soon. Soon the world will fall to our vodka and curry fueled fury.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 10 points11 points ago

My parents met in med school in the Caribbean! My mom was born in Britain actually.

[–]P0liticallyIncorrect 5 points6 points ago

Hah thats even crazier! Have you been to Russia? Try explaining your background there...

[–]CannibalHolocaust 2 points3 points ago

I thought Russia was quite racist? How did Russians react to this Indian relationship and mixed-race child?

[–]DukeEsquire 21 points22 points ago

What? Did they not let you win?

I'm pretty sure half my college Asian club were white guys trying to meet Asian girls.

Edit: I mean "in", but perhaps my Asianess has caused me to write in accent as well.

[–]agoyalwm 6 points7 points ago

Half Russian, half Indian! I thought I was the only one!

[–]mongzords 12 points13 points ago

my family is quite liberal, I have some half-indian half english cousins, half indian half chinese cousins, half indian half mexican cousins, but never have I heard of half indian half russian....dat combination.

[–]Mentalmadness 147 points148 points ago

Come to the UK Asian here means Indian (or brown)

[–]Kizaman 99 points100 points ago

As a fellow UK Indian I have to agree with this, though there is still some confusion. Indians are usually "Asian, whereas my Chinese/Japanese ect bretheren are refered to as "you know, Asian Asian"

[–]thehollowman84 80 points81 points ago

ORIENTALS!

[–]Ihmhi 22 points23 points ago

Interesting thing I learned, it was called "The Orient" (and the people subsequently called "Orientals") because that's where the sun *rises.

  • Edit, I accidentally a word.

[–]inane-dick 46 points47 points ago

..was forged.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 30 points31 points ago

And only there can it be destroyed.

[–]Schym 7 points8 points ago

When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east...

[–]lesser_panjandrum 6 points7 points ago

When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves...

[–]science_raptor 3 points4 points ago

When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child...

[–]dick_rickles 22 points23 points ago

WHERE THE SUN WHAT?!?!

Edit: Thank you. I can now finish my homework.

[–]Drakhaoul 9 points10 points ago

...the suspense, it's killing me.

[–]alex9001 1 point2 points ago

WHERE THE SUN WHAT!?!?!? DON'T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS!

[–]donttouchmyfeet 5 points6 points ago

Where the sun what? WHERE THE SUN WHAT?!?!

[–]jaxnos 3 points4 points ago

... Because the sun what? What did it do? I HAVE TO KNOW.

[–]glaedr 15 points16 points ago

Asian2

[–]Iggyhopper 14 points15 points ago

Math stuff.

It fits.

[–]Motherfrogger 21 points22 points ago

In the US they have more orientaly asians and don't want to offend Japanese by calling them Chinese or w/e, in the UK we don't want to offend Indians by calling them Pakistani or w/e.

[–]ragnarok297 3 points4 points ago

Wow, that makes so much sense.

[–]kantorekB14 35 points36 points ago

People usually call me a "fucking paki", even though I'm half Irish and I was born in England.

[–]RajMahal77 3 points4 points ago

Half Irish, Half Pakistani.....Irishstani?

[–]SmokeyTheRobot 1 point2 points ago

fucking paki

[–]kantorekB14 7 points8 points ago

How droll.

[–]Naggers123 11 points12 points ago

UK Ethnic Thai person here. I don't know what the fuck I am.

[–]spaektor 16 points17 points ago

phuket.

[–]BlueCuracao 0 points1 point ago

kon thang chat :P

[–]psygnisfive 16 points17 points ago

It's due to the historical relations that the UK and the US have had with Asia. You guys had an empire and ruled the subcontinent for like 100 or more years. As a result, your primary contact with people from Asia was with Indians. The US, on the other hand, has had a large immigrant Chinese population since the mid to late 1800s (Chinese laborers were our navvies) and and we occupied Japan for 10 years after WW2, hence our primary contact with people from Asia is with East Asians.

[–]la508 10 points11 points ago

Yup, to me Asian is definitely Indian sub-continent. Otherwise I think I'd say "Oriental", although apparently this is deemed racist in America.

[–]sje46 14 points15 points ago

Yeah. In the US Indians don't really fit into the archetype of "Asian". It'd be like calling an Israeli an Asian. Sure, it's technically true (Israel is in Asia), but that's not is really meant by the term. The term refers to the racial grouping of people with Epicanthic folds. East Asians. In the UK, it's different...South Asians are considered part of the Asian archetype.

[–]SmokeyTheRobot 550 points551 points ago

Would be better if the first five pictures weren't just the same guy in different outfits

[–]sdfafdamf980hy23j04 260 points261 points ago

I know-- so many Jackie Chan pictures.

[–]EHoffman922 180 points181 points ago

I like the one of Kumar at the end.

[–]mig-san 3 points4 points ago

What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?

[–]WYATTINATOR 11 points12 points ago

You just made me look back and check.

[–]EwThatsNerdy 20 points21 points ago

Says the man who assumes that all black people play/enjoy basketball.

[–]redandblue32 60 points61 points ago

Man you must have had to look back real far to re-post this, it's an oldie.

[–]Uberninjaa 18 points19 points ago

Squinting usually helps you see further.

[–]blue_strat 123 points124 points ago

[–]Mindle 86 points87 points ago

[–]adharma 13 points14 points ago

Want a cockmeat sandwich?

[–]Thadenvy 43 points44 points ago

Whenever I introduce myself as being from Asia, people get to Azerbaijan and Uzbekistan before they guess I'm Indian. -sigh- I guess I get this for being as white as a girl named Britney.

[–]donttouchmyfeet 34 points35 points ago

My favorite is when I say I'm Asian, and they say, "You're not Asian, you're from India."

[–]TerryTibbsEsq 30 points31 points ago

Why the fuck don't you just say the actual country you're from, would that not be so much easier ? When I ask someone from Spain or France where they are from they don't say Europe, they tell me the actual country. Just like I don't go around saying I'm North American, it's obtuse for no reason.

[–]donttouchmyfeet 3 points4 points ago

Oh, I agree, and I usually do, but sometimes (like when filling out forms or being asked for information), they just ask for race/ethnicity, and the options are limited.

[–]imacyco 6 points7 points ago

Where in India is your family from?

[–]boolpies 39 points40 points ago

Bedford

[–]rinsa 224 points225 points ago

[–]annie8979 38 points39 points ago

Timed so well.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 6 points7 points ago

Beautiful

[–]selmer 10 points11 points ago

Oh god my sides hurt... Brilliant

[–]BestPseudonym 26 points27 points ago

dass waisis

ftfy

[–]splattypus 129 points130 points ago

Then stop calling India a subcontinent!

[–]SlaughterMeister 50 points51 points ago

Subcontinent =/= continent.

[–]splattypus 105 points106 points ago

You don't get to separate it only when it's convenient for you.

[–]ninereeds314 68 points69 points ago

Pedantry warning - normal sane people should stop reading now.

The current meaning of "subcontinent" is a fact of geology and plate tectonics that people (Asian, Indian or otherwise) didn't even know about until a few decades ago. Calling India a subcontinent predates the theory of plate tectonics, but the meaning has shifted, and it has shifted differently and by different degrees to different people. India is both a part of Asia and a separate subcontinent, basically because the definition of "Asia" is at least as much about linguistics, politics and many other issues as about geography.

Similarly, Scotland is both part of Europe and not. In plate tectonic terms, Scotland wandered around a fair bit on its own before crashing into England. England is only separated from "continental Europe" because of Ice Age related history - the Thames was once a tributary of the Rhine, and in tectonic plate terms, England is part of Europe despite the Channel - but Scotland arguably isn't, or was once carried around on a different plate though it's now on the Eurasian plate, or whatever (I'm not sure on the details of that any more).

But those geological issues aren't what Brits - Scots or otherwise - discuss whether they want to be part of Europe. There's more than one definition of Europe. Geographically there's the big land mass and the little islands, and there's the Eurasian plate. But the political, economic and historic Europe isn't fully determined by geographic definitions.

[–]splattypus 12 points13 points ago

That was actually very interesting and informative, thank you.

[–]cesclaveria 3 points4 points ago

but the meaning has shifted

Nice. What is your take on America? Different parts of the world teach America as just one big continent while the US (and some other places) divide it in 2, North and South America and even where the divide happens changes from time to time (sometimes Central America is part of the North, sometimes is part of the South and sometimes is not even pictured.)

[–]ninereeds314 13 points14 points ago

Ah - well I'm not a geography expert, just a pedantic Brit who's watched too many documentaries. But my knowledge of the Americas mostly comes from other sources.

IIRC, there's this place called Liberty City, and this other place called Vice City, and then there's this big place called San Andreas which is made up of Los Santos, San Fierro and Las Venturas. Everythings a bit fucked up, everyone drives like an idiot, but you can have a lot of fun and you've got a real chance of making it to the top if you don't mind dying a few hundred times.

[–]psychiccheese 14 points15 points ago

Apparently you do:

Eurasia = continent
Europe = subcontinent
Asia = subcontinent
India = subsubcontinent

[–]Bashasaurus 13 points14 points ago

that's an interesting division you have there. I've never heard asia and Europe referred to as sub continents and Eurasia actually being a legit continent. I'll have to look this up and figure out if they've changed how they're counting continents now.

[–]Kaniget 12 points13 points ago

It's 7 (at least in the US). Europe and Asia being separate continents. This seems more based on culture than geography.

[–]Karnaugh_Map 3 points4 points ago

What is a continent is ill-defined. I personally subscribe to the six continent classification with Eurasia being a single continent.

[–]Panhead369 42 points43 points ago

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

[–]reallifesexdoll 29 points30 points ago

I still harbour a grudge towards him for ruining my beloved cartoon series

[–]Panhead369 33 points34 points ago

[–]blitzbom 13 points14 points ago

The Earth King invites you to /r/laogai

[–]overused-meme-alert 5 points6 points ago

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

ding ding ding.

[–]francis_0000a 8 points9 points ago

I'm Filipino and I have none of those properties.

[–]theislandking 2 points3 points ago

But basketball?

We can own dancing.

[–]-RacistComment- 72 points73 points ago

Well at least he isn't pakistani

[–]MrAuneeb 21 points22 points ago

Ouch, that hurts man.

Nice username, by the way.

[–]kashaanm 12 points13 points ago

Pakistani here. I'm either viewed as Saudi Arabian or Indian, but almost never considered Asian.

[–]daedaluscapn 1 point2 points ago

That must be frustrating

[–]Lemonanyway 30 points31 points ago

Freddie Wong is awesome.

[–]jerkosaurusrex 30 points31 points ago

Oh cool what tribe are you?

[–]sbrelvi 5 points6 points ago

As a half indian half pakistani man, i'm considered sub-asian amongst my friends.

[–]DiscordianStooge 17 points18 points ago

Are you the outcome of a "Romeo and Juliet" style love affair that ended well, rather than in suicide?

[–]sbrelvi 7 points8 points ago

Nope arranged. To make it weirder my parents are first cousins...

Ninjaedit: No I dont have a third limb or a missing eye.

[–]DiscordianStooge 2 points3 points ago

First cousin marriage isn't that odd, and it's a myth that it leads to an increase in birth defects.

Edit: Added link

[–]IbidtheWriter 6 points7 points ago

It's severely overstated, but it does lead to a marginally higher incidence of genetic disorders.

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 5 points6 points ago

I just went to a first cousin marriage ceremony. It was a bit awkward only when I was introduced to an uncle and asked uncle of the bride or groom...

He was uncle to both of them.

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 2 points3 points ago

Sub Asian meaning inferior? Or subcontinent?

[–]Doomdoomkittydoom 3 points4 points ago

Why is it racist that you don't understand what "Asian" means in America?

[–]Concussi0n 17 points18 points ago

Indian, Africa, you're all black to me!

I'm joking btw please don't kill me reddit.

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 42 points43 points ago

It's ok. Euro, American, Irish, Jewish, Canadian, Russian, you're all white to us.

[–]deeceeo 18 points19 points ago

Thanks for remembering us Canadians!

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 0 points1 point ago

Of course! I love Canadians! Especially your (summer) weather and your women. And Montreal. God do I love Montreal.

[–]BagatoliOnIce 6 points7 points ago

Woah, woah, woah! That's racist.

[–]ICANSEEYOUFAPPING 1 point2 points ago

I have to applaud you for this, awesome.

[–]GCARNO 1 point2 points ago

Listen the problem here is defining race by melatonin skin levels, instead of genetic make up.

[–]fakeredditor 3 points4 points ago

What's the name of the actor in the "What the girls hope I'll be like" section?

[–]ringohighlight 2 points3 points ago

It looks like Steven Yeun from The Walking Dead.

[–]IamA_Big_Fat_Phony 0 points1 point ago

Walking dead guy.

Fuck it was killing me that he looked familiar but I didn't know.

he bangs a white girl in that show.

Good for him.

[–]DiaDeLosMuertos 6 points7 points ago

In the UK you could reverse the images for the same effect. So I hear, anyway.

[–]Raiyanmagician718 11 points12 points ago

As someone who is indian the same thing happened to me, I just got a whole bunch of idiots telling me that I wasn't asian since india wasn't in asia -_-

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 8 points9 points ago

East Asians don't consider Indians Asian. Indians are considered Indian.

[–]ihaseyes 5 points6 points ago

That's like saying you don't believe in facts.

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 4 points5 points ago

It is what it is. Asians just don't want to be grouped together with Indians.

[–]unicornon 13 points14 points ago

How is it racist to assume that someone's from East Asia when you say Asian?

I don't call Arabic people Asian. I don't call Russians Asian. I call people from India Indian. I call people from China, Korea, and Japan Asian. I call people from Indonesia and Vietnam Southeast Asian.

[–]Kinomi 21 points22 points ago

I call people from the Philippines Mexicasian. Am I racist?

[–]YESYESYESYESSSSS 20 points21 points ago

They're pretty much the Mexicans of Asia.

[–]DiscordianStooge 3 points4 points ago

I'd go with Asianish.

[–]reallifesexdoll 0 points1 point ago

Lol, they are pacific islanders

[–]avomango 1 point2 points ago

Tell that to a real pacific islander and they'll get mad.

[–]ihaseyes 3 points4 points ago

It's stereotyping, not racism. It's not even a negative stereotype towards Indians, if anything it's a negative towards people from "China, Korea and japan" You've crushed these 3 distinct peoples/nations/cultures into one all encompassing term.

Don't worry I'm not going to get up in arms, it's a meaningless point which wouldn't make any difference to anything in the long run, even if it was changed.

[–]DiscordianStooge 6 points7 points ago

What do you call a Bangladeshi guy who grew up in Iran?

[–]sulaymanf 0 points1 point ago

Confused?

[–]raping_horsefucker66 2 points3 points ago

No, actually you're a reposter.

[–]Afa1234 2 points3 points ago

Awe I was hoping this

[–]sneaksnstuff 2 points3 points ago

I read the last line in an Indian accent

[–]OTuama 0 points1 point ago

You're the first Indian at your school? Wow, that place must have a pretty fucked up past...

[–]BarbDwyer 3 points4 points ago

Oh my! I must've gotten the word racist all wrong! See, I though racist meant HATE against another race, but now I understand that if you asume that a person who is speaking spanish is from spain but he or she is acutally from Peru, I'm a racist! Golly I'm glad I got that sorted out!

[–]aidaman 2 points3 points ago

While you're at it try and figure out what subreddit this is.

[–]westcoastpopart 1 point2 points ago

lmao what kind of sheltered-ass school has a total of one asian kid

[–]moistrubber 2 points3 points ago

Dont call yourself Asian so. Im Irish, but I don't go around telling people Im European. That would just be needlessly confusing.

[–]Besius 9 points10 points ago

How is it racist that the typical view in someones head of something isn't something you conform to?

"Definition for racist: Web definitions:
a person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others"

Actually... i give up... it's not even funny if i didn't think it was stupid.

[–]austinready96 28 points29 points ago

Because this is r/funny, so your mindset coming into everything should be to take it as a joke, not seriously.

[–]WrethZ 7 points8 points ago

It's a joke....

Why are you taking something in /r/funny serious?

ಠ_ಠ

[–]windowlash 2 points3 points ago

you're being too defensive. must be a racist yourself

[–]Ghostwalker8 0 points1 point ago

It's a stereotype created by your society, so it kinda is. But it's obviously not to the same degree as actual racism.

[–]donagan 0 points1 point ago

No, you are the prejudiced one. Although you are technically Asian, India being an Asian sub-continent, you are very different in appearance and genetics from Chinese, Philippinos, Vietnamese, etc. Let he among you who is free of bias be the first to cast a stone.

[–]aliensexaddict 3 points4 points ago

This kid is going places

[–]echo117 2 points3 points ago

Repost or not, India is a subcontinent so as far as I'm concerned this argument is moot.

[–]anusface 4 points5 points ago

Subcontinent ≠ continent.

[–]83case 0 points1 point ago

actually joined reddit to finally up vote original dudes like you!

[–]hERPandDERP 0 points1 point ago

This was fucking retarded. How did this get to the front page?

[–]atheist_trollno1 3 points4 points ago

What the girls hope I'll be like

Who is that guy?

[–]chicoiswhite 2 points3 points ago

Well, then we hope you're like Aziz Ansari

[–]fatboi69 3 points4 points ago

Upvote for jeremy lin

[–]manageo01 -1 points0 points ago

Well there would be a second part to this. It will be a terrorist. The asain side was being kind.

[–]h1imhzq 1 point2 points ago

Oh lawl

[–]12mrk12 1 point2 points ago

THESE GUYS ARE SOUTH ASIAN. WHEN THEY LEARN THAT, THEY'LL LEARN WE NO RACIST.. NUff said.

[–]bryman302 -1 points0 points ago

So does this mean you have good curry?

[–]RainbowGoddamnDash 0 points1 point ago

According the most recent census, I'm not Hispanic.

[–]DarkStar5758 0 points1 point ago

Exactly. There is a Russian kid at my school, and for fun he tells people that he's asian because technically Russia is in Asia.

[–]Expresso2113 0 points1 point ago

fucking verticals are too hard to read intoxicated.

[–]JesteroftheApocalyps -1 points0 points ago

"Asia" consists of areas east of Greece, so therefore Israel is considered "Asian" . . . I remember when I was in Malaysia and they were hosting the Asian games, and people were protesting the Israeli team.

[–]haminacann 1 point2 points ago

What an unexpected twist!

[–]HendrixPheobus 0 points1 point ago

I know that kid on the bottom! He is a pretty cool guy.

[–]bad_situation 0 points1 point ago

[–]aareyes12 1 point2 points ago

I'm no lawyer, BUT THIS SHIT IS LEADING!