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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]anonimyus 346 points347 points ago

whats a Shimpanaza?

[–]Dompkins 276 points277 points ago

I believe it is a new special at Taco Bell.

[–]TAIOCRUZ_BESTRAPPER 43 points44 points ago

It is actually what I call 30 minutes after I eat Taco Bell.

[–]captainolimar 139 points140 points ago

Google says Croatian for Chimpanzee.

But that's clearly an orangutan.

[–]domcolosi 34 points35 points ago

Dude, everybody knows that orangutans are born in SE Asia, grow up there, and then migrate to Africa, where they shrink and morph into chimpanzees. Seriously, like, everybody knows that.

[–]immawsome 9 points10 points ago

Croatian for Chimpanzee is cimpanza.

[–]az_liberal_geek 6 points7 points ago

The link description implies that it's a Croatian word, but if you follow the link to the actual website, you'll see "Word not found".

I think it's just a mis-spelling from 4chan that keeps propagating when the image is copied.

[–]pointlessness 73 points74 points ago

Almost there, but it still lacks something ... yeah, I'll just put a rage face here

[–]seanbear 228 points229 points ago

That isn't a baby polar bear; it's a doll or something that someone made.

[–]katffro 191 points192 points ago

Regardless, just look at these fluffy motherfuckers.

[–]alphanovember 41 points42 points ago

And in only 1 year's time they'll be strong enough to rip your intestines out! Awww.

[–]mattindustries 9 points10 points ago

Yeah, but also strong enough for bear hugs.

[–]Osiris32 65 points66 points ago

Basketball!! Nom nom nom nom

[–]schwerpunk 1 point2 points ago

Is that bear... courting a basketball...?

Looks like he's whispering sweet nothings into its air valve.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Thorse 9 points10 points ago

Bears are tough and gamey as shit dude. Baby bears are mire tender but still really stringy. Have you ever eateb bear?

[–]RabidWalrus 15 points16 points ago

Not as bad as human. Humans are tough and gamey as shit dude. Baby humans are mire tender but still really stringy. Have you ever eateb human?

[–]jonnielaw 30 points31 points ago

Well, here's a newborn panda for ya!

Also, wtf is a "Shimpanza" and why is OP calling an orangutan that?

[–]CauseItsTrue 10 points11 points ago

How does a huge panda take care of such a small fragile thing like that. Do they pretty much cling to their mothers or something

[–]harky 12 points13 points ago

As far as I know they carry them in their mouth when they need to move, and otherwise they're basically a giant pillow. Seems like a pretty good life.

[–]Poprawks 5 points6 points ago

I came here hoping someone would address that. No such luck.

[–]RyanMockery 2 points3 points ago

I think I understand why no pandas mate now...

[–]AlisInWonderland 54 points55 points ago

The baby owl is fake too. Baby birds are ugly for the most part.

[–]polar_bear_cub_scout 39 points40 points ago

Just saw some love birds hatch and can confirm this. Most birds I've seen are born with little to no feathers, and that owl had a lot of down feathers. Here you can see what an ugly baby looks like, and the same type (Scarlet Macaw) once fully feathered looks like.

[–]MsRenee 51 points52 points ago

Did you forget about baby chickens? They're adorable. Different species of birds hatch at different levels of development. A bird like your love birds that hatch featherless and helpless would be considered "altricial" whereas a bird that hatches with body cover and is able to move around shortly after hatching is considered "precocial".

Here's a nice site that summarizes the advantages and disadvantages of each strategy.

Also, a quick google search for baby owl pictures reveals hundreds of little fuzz-monsters.

[–]polar_bear_cub_scout 7 points8 points ago

The love birds weren't mine, but I've got a Meyers Parrot, who is spoiled rotten. Thanks for the links. The More You Know!

[–]loveshercoffee 2 points3 points ago

Baby owls are cute. Right up until their teengery stage when they learn to fly - then they are a mix of patches of grown-up owl feathers and baby fluffy feathers. They look a bit like something that went through the dryer cycle but shouldn't have.

[–]Driesens 0 points1 point ago

DEMON! KILL IT! CLEANSE, CLEANSE!

[–]CJGibson 5 points6 points ago

The truth is newborns of most species are ugly. If you look at relatively aged humans (i.e. 6-18 month old toddlers) you'll find that generally speaking, they're pretty cute too.

[–]boreals 11 points12 points ago

The owl is also a doll.

Edit: Woops Someone beat me to it.

[–]unisaurrr 7 points8 points ago

glad someone pointed this out. I'm sick of seeing that shit everywhere.

[–]ubomw 123 points124 points ago

Pandas are ugly too, but so cute later.

[–]NotRichBarr 134 points135 points ago

Looks like we got a bad ass over here.

[–]jacobbsny10 38 points39 points ago

Woah, bro, it's cool. You can take all the bamboo you want.

[–]whatthefat 18 points19 points ago

Same goes for kangaroos.

[–]BerryGuns 123 points124 points ago

lol that is still in the pouch. That's like comparing it to a fetus.

[–]TheMattAttack 8 points9 points ago

Let's do it then.

[–]whatthefat 11 points12 points ago

[–]IsoC 7 points8 points ago

Dude.

[–]Real-Life-Reddit 8 points9 points ago

I waited for that to change BUT IT NEVER DID!

[–]DonkeyDongRacing 5 points6 points ago

I'M NOT BRAVE, I'M JUST PANDARING

[–]addctd2badideas 83 points84 points ago

Confirmed: all human babies resemble Winston Churchill.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points ago

MFW you haven't seen WC as a baby.

[–]speqter 40 points41 points ago

Wow, he didn't age at all.

[–]martiniman 25 points26 points ago

This man registered just to show us Winston Churchill's baby face. You have served for a good cause.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

I did it for those who shall remain unnamed.

[–]fateswarm 0 points1 point ago

The internet, shelter of human haters.

[–]Politoed6 45 points46 points ago

Shimpanze

Its not even a chimpanzee, its an orangutan

[–]Wolfosaurus 143 points144 points ago

[–]princess_shami 12 points13 points ago

beeeeeeeep

[–]heimdalsgate 61 points62 points ago

Come on Reddit, shit like this is the reason I don't like 9gag.

[–]wallymcwalrus 3 points4 points ago

This is the solution for this type of shit,

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 30 points31 points ago

[–]blowinbacksout 21 points22 points ago

looks like a shimpanza to me

[–]Gorignak 13 points14 points ago

I hate orangutans. They make me really uncomfortable.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 40 points41 points ago

Maybe you should stop trying to fit them up your butt.

[–]cabooseg 22 points23 points ago

The Fuck is a Shimpanza

[–]PlayaEsquire 88 points89 points ago

[–]UncleTedGenneric 46 points47 points ago

Nice try, self-photo-posting baby.

[–]luseferr 102 points103 points ago

This is bias. Every one knows black babies are cuter the white babies.

[–]jinklmun 133 points134 points ago

Asian babies are fucking adorable.

[–]qweswr2 7 points8 points ago

When I saw that, I literally started going, "Ho ho ho ho ho ho!"

[–]Spineless_John 7 points8 points ago

[–]bhmnscmm 23 points24 points ago

They're like Hershey kisses.

[–]siegewolf 13 points14 points ago

So, just wrap them in tinfoil?

[–]halfveela 9 points10 points ago

biased

[–]ReyTheRed 123 points124 points ago

Yes, lets compare baby animals who are not distressed to baby humans that are distressed. Surely that is a good comparison to make.

[–]bunburya 128 points129 points ago

Well Redditors need some way to feel better about the fact that no woman will ever procreate with them.

[–]The_Dok 5 points6 points ago

[–]thevoid 7 points8 points ago

I hate this comment.

[–]DetectiveClownMD 18 points19 points ago

This is reddit where cats rule and humans drool. Wrong crowd you'll never win them over!

[–]thursdae 1 point2 points ago

Even in an even comparison, the human babies still lose out.

A distressed baby's face crumples up and they screech out a sound that calls to our instincts to shut that damn thing up. A distressed puppy whimpers. A distressed kitten just meows a lot.

[–]LordOfPies 20 points21 points ago

That's because it has been a while after those animals were actually born, they are hideous when they are born as well.

[–]violenthamster 8 points9 points ago

That is a baby fennec fox. Not a baby fox.

[–]metsfan12694 17 points18 points ago

That is a baby fennec fox.

Fennec fox

Fox

[–]Dustintico 2 points3 points ago

And they pretty much look like that full grown, too. Fuckin' want one.

[–]princessofgemworld 5 points6 points ago

Humans have a comparatively short gestation period, in relation to their development rate. A baby elephant can walk as soon as it comes out of the womb because it has had twenty-two months to develop. If humans stayed in the womb until they were almost two years old, we would emerge much cuter as well.

[–]Errday_Im_Hylian 5 points6 points ago

Shimpanza? That's an orangutan.

[–]SupermanV2 452 points453 points ago

Seriously. Human babies are ugly.

[–]emr1028 92 points93 points ago

Try telling that to one of their parents.

[–]dontlemmedown 76 points77 points ago

I'd rather kick a bull in the testicles.

[–]NotaMethAddict 27 points28 points ago

Let me know how that goes.

[–]SupermanV2 14 points15 points ago

I'll hazard a guess that it didn't go spectacularly well.

[–]SavageNoble 18 points19 points ago

It went okay.

[–]SupermanV2 2 points3 points ago

That reference was a blast from the past!

[–]Mofrosho 0 points1 point ago

I'd rather tell a parent their baby's ugly

[–]Enorus 3 points4 points ago

RIP

[–]SupermanV2 28 points29 points ago

Hey man, just because they're ugly doesn't mean I'm a cunt about it.

[–]puckhead 17 points18 points ago

Babies are ugly for at lest 6 months. Then their ugliness wears off.

Source: I have two young kids.

[–]youhad1job2do 11 points12 points ago

Glad to hear a parent say that. A former teacher once said, "There's no such thing as an ugly baby."
Like hell there isn't.

[–]CauseItsTrue 18 points19 points ago

I actually had a friend tell me 'Don't you think my baby is the cutest baby in the whole world' in a serious tone. I told him babies are like puppies, everyone thinks their puppy is the cutest. He gave me a look like I'm crazy...wtf do you want to hear? Your baby is the cutest shit ever born in the face of the planet and the rest of the billions of babies look like gorillas compared to your baby...HAPPY!

[–]youhad1job2do 6 points7 points ago

babies are like puppies, everyone thinks their puppy is the cutest.

Gonna sound like a real dick, but I feel the same way about friends showing me album after album of their babies. Sure, it's interesting... to them.

[–]dharmaticate 14 points15 points ago

Reddit makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world who actually wants to see pictures of other people's babies.

[–]Hugs_all_cats25 7 points8 points ago

I love looking at pictures of babies. My friends that I grew up with are all starting families and I love when they share pics of their new arrivals. If that means I don't fit in with others on reddit, then so be it.

[–]kjgyfk 3 points4 points ago

Here, you can look at mine!

[–]bobtheghost33 2 points3 points ago

Thank you for sharing.

[–]Lots42 4 points5 points ago

YOU ARE.

[–]shadmere 522 points523 points ago

Every one of those babies is grimacing. The comparison isn't really fair.

These babies are all more appropriate comparisons:

Baby 1 Baby 2 Baby 3

I know everyone doesn't think babies are the best things ever, or whatever, but it's silly to show a bunch of happy looking baby animals and compare them with a few pictures of human babies that look like they're screaming in despair.

[–]Populoner 311 points312 points ago

I think if I saw an angry baby fox it would be even cuter though

[–]shadmere 197 points198 points ago

We're significantly more adept at reading human emotions than animal ones, though. Strong emotions on a human face affect us a lot more than the same emotion in an animal.

[–]XaroXhoanDucksauce 156 points157 points ago

Stop defending babies! They brought this on themselves!

[–]blowinbacksout 19 points20 points ago

are animals like foxes really able to show a range of emotions?

[–]RMcD94 20 points21 points ago

They make expressions and we associate them with what would be comparable on a human face.

A non-human animal might bare it's teeth and it would seem to us to be a smile, but it's actually a threat, etc.

Anthropomorphizing things is something we like to do.

I assume there's probably numerous common signals that most/all animals can understand, like threat signals and stuff. It would be beneficial for all animals to be able to comprehend when a lion is saying "I'm mad at you", for example.

[–]tonterias 87 points88 points ago

Angry.

Sad.

Happy.

I am more familiar with horses than foxes, and horses can do it, they do a lot more of body language. If you are not familiar with the animal, it might look as a poker face regarding how they feel.

[–]pieguyfry22 59 points60 points ago

How does this horse feel?

[–]Darkbro 9 points10 points ago

As a guy with big lips this is what it looks like when I'm on a trampoline.

[–]tonterias 27 points28 points ago

He is feeling high.

[–]ThatJesterJeff 8 points9 points ago

I don't know, it's more like one of those kids who discovers a cool trick and then has to show everyone...

Oh hi human!
shakes side to side
Shit, got it wrong!
shakes up and down
Nailed it.

[–]FunUser 5 points6 points ago

I think he is applauding.

[–]gemini86 3 points4 points ago

What's the emotion for 'fuck you, I just don't give a fuck anymore'?

That.

[–]poesie 2 points3 points ago

OMG I'm crying!!!!

[–]blowinbacksout 14 points15 points ago

I can see how that might be accurate but I also kind of think it's just the timing of the shot. The happy and sad ones just seem to be about how open/closed their eyes are.

[–]sireatalot 11 points12 points ago

Beautiful pictures, but you're just humanizing animals.

[–]silverwolf761 5 points6 points ago

"humanizing" probably isn't the word you're looking for. It is a well-known and accepted fact that animals can feel emotions like (but not limited to) happiness and grief. Humans in no way have any sort of monopoly on emotions

[–]sireatalot 1 point2 points ago

I'm not saying that those foxes don't feel those emotions. all I'm saying is that when they feel those emotions, they most likely show them in ways that are unintelligibleto us humans (change of body hodor, body language...). The fact that on those pictures the fox mimics the human facial expressions for those emotions doesn't mean that the fox is actually feeling that emotion.

One good example is the pulling back of the lips to uncover the teeth: for humans it's a smile, for dogs it's a sign of imminent aggression.

[–]Robstaley 3 points4 points ago

well ive never seen a human rile up the internet like dusty

[–]Dunabu 0 points1 point ago

It's not that. It's that baby humans look like little old people.

They come out wrinkled, beet red, bald and screaming.

They start getting cuter at about 7 months~.

[–]shadmere 4 points5 points ago

Baby animals are less than adorable when they're still wet from birth, too.

[–]KinglerSlayer 81 points82 points ago

NO! Using the ugliest examples of babies you could find on Google is totally the same thing as finding the cutest examples of animals you could find on Google. You're only changing like two words. Totally a valid comparison

[–]badass_with_class 4 points5 points ago

Yes but only white babies ಠ_ಠ

[–]MassiveResponse 60 points61 points ago

Honestly, as a human, and maybe there's just something wrong with me, but those still don't register as 'cute' for me...

It's more like.. 'meh'

[–]BloodFeces 77 points78 points ago

as a human

Thanks for clarifying that.

[–]Arch-Combine-24242 8 points9 points ago

Can we be sure that MassiveResponse isn't an alien?

Honestly, as a human,...

That's exactly what an extraterrestrial imposter would say.

[–]dweeb_ 7 points8 points ago

Maybe other animals find the offspring of their species to be meh too. Then they turn around and go apeshit over cute human babies.

[–]sircarp 8 points9 points ago

I've heard dingoes go pretty wild over human babies.

[–]caped 18 points19 points ago

baby 2 is nightmare fuel

[–]A_Cat_ 48 points49 points ago

they still look ugly

[–]Thick-McRunFast 11 points12 points ago

This is reddit. You're supposed to hate babies.

[–]CmndrSalamander 0 points1 point ago

This is reddit. You're supposed to hate eat babies.

[–]GlassSoldier 2 points3 points ago

DAE le DINK

[–]falcors-tick-remover 40 points41 points ago

Still fucking ugly

[–]goatworship 6 points7 points ago

Baby 2 looks like he wants to sell me something.

[–]siegewolf 18 points19 points ago

Still found those things horrendous to look at.

[–]polar_bear_cub_scout 12 points13 points ago

I agree with this statement, but on another note...

Their HANDS! Their disgusting little hands, baby hands creep me out.

[–]LexiLouLee 4 points5 points ago

Interesting!! The hands are literally the only part of a human baby I find cute at all.

[–]siegewolf 10 points11 points ago

Sharp little nails.

[–]GoopPie 0 points1 point ago

That's not fair, you picked all white babies.

[–]SavageNoble 2 points3 points ago

  1. Cute
  2. Meh
  3. Looks like a tiny adult

[–]StewieBanana 4 points5 points ago

Shopped

[–]Sugar_Skull 1 point2 points ago

Those aren't newborns. Human babies can take a few weeks to get really fat and cute.

[–]wha7thmah 6 points7 points ago

The baby animal pictures weren't newborns either.

[–]AAlsmadi1 5 points6 points ago

I guess other color babies don't count.

[–]annie8979 2 points3 points ago

Yeah a little racial diversity next time maybe.

[–]molliepop351 32 points33 points ago

They look like grumpy raisins to me.

[–]jinklmun 10 points11 points ago

Not necessarily babies. Infants are the gross ones. give it like three months or until the loose neck goes away and its great.

[–]Juststumblinaround 3 points4 points ago

Judging off of three very unflattering pictures of babies is a good way to go about it I guess.

[–]ToffeeC 6 points7 points ago

At birth, yes. After a few months though they're pretty cute.

[–]Ser_Jamie 28 points29 points ago

DAE BRAVE?

[–]RabidWalrus 3 points4 points ago

Could you rate that bravery on a scale of 1 to so?

[–]SkepticalSagan 18 points19 points ago

They're pretty stupid, too. Most baby animals know how to swim, walk, survive in the wild etc. Human babies don't know shit, they can't even vomit properly.

[–]LFK1236 20 points21 points ago

Then again, most humans live five+ times longer, so development doesn't need to happen at the same rate.

[–]CauseItsTrue 14 points15 points ago

Asian father right here

[–]BloodFeces 9 points10 points ago

Human babies can swim.

[–]gamerguyal 2 points3 points ago

No, not really. They have positive buoyancy, so they will float, but that doesn't mean they can swim.

[–]Thinks_Too_Logically 3 points4 points ago

Well, human babies are all "premature" in their births. Human infants develop even after birth much more than other animals do. We do this because having a more developed and larger brain was found favorable for survival by evolution, but if we were fully developed in the womb, mothers wouldn't be able to give birth to our giant heads.

[–]steve_b 5 points6 points ago

Well, that's most of the story - giant heads plus smallish pelvic girdles on females, due to our being bipeds. If we walked around like horses, we could hang out in utero as long as we wanted, but since a bipedal pregnant female as the baby pushing down on the escape hatch the whole time, they have to come out early.

Bipedalism plus big brain is a one-two punch.

[–]11batman23 3 points4 points ago

they look like grubs.

[–]Robstaley 0 points1 point ago

it's true

[–]Sheltac 9 points10 points ago

If everyone thought like this, we'd be extinct.

[–]desquibnt 4 points5 points ago

I humbly submit this picture of my nephew as a replacement photo for a cute baby

http://i.imgur.com/Lx2d1.jpg

[–]sir_cophagus 5 points6 points ago

So you're showing us a bunch of pictures of baby animals meant to look cute and then a bunch of pictures of baby humans meant to not look cute. How is this on the front page?

[–]corcyra 7 points8 points ago

Shimpanza?! Orangutan.

[–]jazxfire 3 points4 points ago

That's probably a Pygmy hippo to be true.

[–]Scarydoll 3 points4 points ago

Now I can't stop saying Shimpanza. Shimpanza!

[–]89rovi 37 points38 points ago

That is completely biased; they are all grimacing in those pictures. Take all of these for example.

[–]blackbright 5 points6 points ago

The first one looks like David Tennant.

[–]PrismHelix 26 points27 points ago

Still not cute to me.

[–]VibrantCathode14 13 points14 points ago

So brave.

[–]Garret303 49 points50 points ago

Not everyone is an edgy misanthrope who has transcended flawed humanity.

[–]adigabear 29 points30 points ago

you are so dark and edgy that you are not part of the 'babies are cute' circlejerk

[–]Battletooth 9 points10 points ago

Sounds like you ruffled some Hot Topic jimmies.

[–]DevinTheGrand 17 points18 points ago

You are broken evolutionarily. Please report yourself to the center for release.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]yackerman 22 points23 points ago

No, the trait of "wanting to kill others' babies" is not beneficial. It doesn't help the individual reproduce more. Also, it would be harmful to the group--a group of people who all wanted to kill each other wouldn't last very long.

Evolutionarily, we should want to help each others' babies, because that gives the group, and thus the individual, the best chance of survival and reproduction.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 6 points7 points ago

Why do they all have to be white?

[–]reddiculon 6 points7 points ago

ಠ◡ಠ

[–]Amplitude 4 points5 points ago

Because we're trying to illustrate human infant cuteness.

[–]smilles 5 points6 points ago

Why in the fuck is the orangutan labelled shimpanza?

[–]ComradeButterfly 0 points1 point ago

Either way I think it's still as ugly as human babies =\

[–]Drago12 5 points6 points ago

Some of you guys have some real ugly bastards in your life if you've concluded all babies are ugly.

[–]TyTass 4 points5 points ago

Forget those animals. I want to see a baby pigeon. I mean, are those things born fully grown or what?

[–]seth11111 2 points3 points ago

Theres so many people offended that you called the orangutan a chimpanzee.

[–]BeezGurl 2 points3 points ago

To be fair...the human babies are being photographed at their worst...

[–]smilenowgirl 2 points3 points ago

They're still cute to me. Also, baby humans don't have to be too cute to be taken care of and have more protection from predators because we are the predators. Most other baby animals need protection from us and the cuteness factor helps.

[–]hawksfan81 14 points15 points ago

Shimpanza? Really? It's chimpanzee.

[–]mijla611 11 points12 points ago

Don't you mean orangotan?

[–]FuckYouImOprah 61 points62 points ago

[–]Semajal 10 points11 points ago

And do not ever say Monkey...

[–]Pwoshi 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, it's spelled Monki

[–]JoseFernandes 6 points7 points ago

[–]Azor2500 5 points6 points ago

*Orangutan

[–]chipmunk_princess 5 points6 points ago

babies are cute!

[–]EMP826 4 points5 points ago

I still don't get this.

Why the hell do you idiots hate something so much that most of you will either parent or give birth to in a few years?

[–]Rooblies 0 points1 point ago

It doesn't really matter how inaccurate the labels might be, but the message is still there.

[–]Battletooth 5 points6 points ago

Let's apply to another thing, such as the whole "A woman's body has a way to protect against pregnancies from rape."

It doesn't matter how inaccurate it is, but the message is still there? Doesn't the inaccuracy kind of take away from the message??

[–]spiffyjoss -1 points0 points ago

I like to call human babies " crotch goblins"

[–]FB242 2 points3 points ago

Ya know because The Oatmeal made that joke...

[–]every1getsastar 0 points1 point ago

man...nobody else thinks those hedgehogs look like prickly vaginas?