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all 200 comments

[–]LazyJohny 208 points209 points ago

I approve the beard stroke

[–]intelminer 71 points72 points ago

Can...can I touch it?

[–]Aperture_Lab_Tech 43 points44 points ago

You may.

[–]spectralnischay 23 points24 points ago

How's the Lab holding up these days?

[–]Aperture_Lab_Tech 30 points31 points ago

Oddly enough we all float down here.

[–]biekgovroom 20 points21 points ago

[–]Aiyon 8 points9 points ago

Balloons. Aren't. Scary.

By the way: Did you look into his deadlights [comic sound]?

[–]Kerokidd 3 points4 points ago

Is this a hint to Portal 3 taking place underwater?

[–]Thor4269 0 points1 point ago

Portal, It, and Gaben in one thread? Amazing.

[–]Gabes_Beard -1 points0 points ago

YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME

[–]Lookinmyeye 1 point2 points ago

i read that in peter griffin's voice

[–]teraflop 8 points9 points ago

When I stroke the beard thusly, do I not appear more... intellectual?

[–]Kalbintion 0 points1 point ago

The beard stroke was awesome and definitely added a great flair to the message

[–]EnvyUK 41 points42 points ago

Given how he delivered that line, the exclamation mark was completely unwarranted.

[–]fire_hawx 5 points6 points ago

Is there a video of him saying this. If so, could I have a link?

[–]Purpley333 17 points18 points ago

[–]Sisaac 6 points7 points ago

I hadn't heard Gabe talking before, nor seen his body language while addressing an audience. He certainly gives the vibe of an extremely nice, laid back man. He seems a beautiful person.

[–]Pulsewidth_ 1 point2 points ago

I was in the same boat and I totally agree, seems like quite a nice person.

[–]Tofm 0 points1 point ago

I think he looked extremely nervous. His voice sounds like it's quivering a bit too.

[–]YAOMTC 7 points8 points ago

By which you mean here.

[–]fire_hawx 0 points1 point ago

Thanks!

[–]Iknifecuzimgay 60 points61 points ago

I suppose this will be the Gabe post of the day.

[–]LordSocky 29 points30 points ago

Every Gabe post is the Gabe post of the day.

[–]fire_hawx 12 points13 points ago

Every Gabe post is the Gabe post of the day

[–]GoodguyGabe 0 points1 point ago

Tis true.

[–]K__a__M__I 10 points11 points ago

It is known.

[–]danny_fiasco 9 points10 points ago

It is known

[–]DMUSER 387 points388 points ago

You could say he, Gabe you advice.

[–]DMUSER 11 points12 points ago

This is amazing.

[–]Blithon 3 points4 points ago

This is incredible.

[–]My_First_Pony 301 points302 points ago

Not really, I already Newell the things he said.

[–]therealbighairy 134 points135 points ago

Are we really going to get invalved in a pun thread?

[–]spamfiltered 121 points122 points ago

I don't hold those in very high esteam either...

[–]TheDuckmage 78 points79 points ago

This stupid site has claimed half of my life.

[–]monstercablessuck 62 points63 points ago

But it will never get the last 3rd of it.

[–]czarchastic 17 points18 points ago

My hat's off to you good sirs.

[–]BlackBladeX 10 points11 points ago

Since you're now hat-less, would you be interested in having me as your new Source for head-gear?

[–]ShowSStopper 7 points8 points ago

Fuck this, I'm leaving 4 good.

[–]Fearmarbh 2 points3 points ago

Well I'm GLaDOS you guys are having fun.

[–]unconventionalspork 41 points42 points ago

It's hard to think of counter-strikes to these terrible puns!

[–]LordSocky 40 points41 points ago

I wish these horrible puns would be left for dead.

[–]kiddykoff 34 points35 points ago

To put a stop to it we must down vote the source

[–]Dumbasscus 11 points12 points ago

Ice to see you.

[–]hj1210 10 points11 points ago

Of course it's ice to see him, he is the one free man after all!

[–]SadPeenut 7 points8 points ago

Oh dear.

[–]corran__horn 5 points6 points ago

Dota you think this has gone far enough?

[–]Mjaugust 6 points7 points ago

Oh i see how this works, Team fortress!

[–]Kayoh44 0 points1 point ago

I dota think this should go on any longer

[–]omnomcookiez 6 points7 points ago

This gabe me a giggle

[–]_Heisenberg_ 5 points6 points ago

I can make all the puns I want, I'm a freeman!

[–]Jjunior130 2 points3 points ago

[–]GODDAMNFOOL 3 points4 points ago

inappropriate comma, -5 points

[–]vedomedo 40 points41 points ago

sooo where's the video of this ?

[–]PicklesDickNickels 79 points80 points ago

[–]spacebrony 19 points20 points ago

is it just me, or is he looking... pretty good? Like, he's looking fitter. And I'm not just saying that.

[–]DullDieHard 8 points9 points ago

:) 3 less months

[–]Tyaedalis 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, he's lost a lot of weight.

[–]Sisaac 2 points3 points ago

Which worries me, is that there's two ways of losing a lot of weight that fast:

  • Being Christian Bale
  • Cancer.

I'm concerned about the poor Gabe.

[–]Inzalonus 0 points1 point ago

you forgot crack, and we all know gabe has enough money to support a crack addiction...

[–]Naeddyr 0 points1 point ago

He has enough money to support a Colombian army.

[–]Sisaac 0 points1 point ago

Hey, the Military spending in my country is ludicrous, I don't think he has that much money.

[–]Naeddyr 0 points1 point ago

Sorry, I meant a paramilitary.

[–]vedomedo -5 points-4 points ago

thanx

[–]bakerie 14 points15 points ago

With an x.. really?

[–]Vithus 2 points3 points ago

This thanx spanx the flanx of your ranx.

...I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.

[–]bakerie 1 point2 points ago

Neither do I, but it sounds sexual.

[–]saxcy 60 points61 points ago

less of what???

[–]ClpReddit 159 points160 points ago

dick

[–]minutman 28 points29 points ago

It is secret advice,he means grow a beard.

[–]PenumbraIV 6 points7 points ago

But that would make sucking dick better! Have you not heard of a 'dick-tickler' beard/stache?

[–]jaggeh 7 points8 points ago

Contact Dermatitis on the dick is not pleasant.

[–]Omni_Reddit 5 points6 points ago

Contact Proactive for that flawless cock.

[–]Toup 12 points13 points ago

Defeat communism.

[–]KingCarman 48 points49 points ago

did you really expect a 3RD word from this man?

[–]Durioz 2 points3 points ago

Half life 3 comfirmed ofc!

[–]Xet 4 points5 points ago

at Dota.

At least, that's the context of this gif. It's from his intro at The International 2 Dota 2 tournament yesterday.

[–]Tonytarium 21 points22 points ago

He kind of looks like Robin Williams.

[–]YouWillFartOnMyBoner 10 points11 points ago

Or Matt Groening

[–]BubbaWoop 7 points8 points ago

WHAT YEAR IS IT

[–]Yesod 36 points37 points ago

You know, I really like how his peppered beard is giving him this ancient wise look; almost like he's gradually entering into sage mode.

[–]Samuraiking 12 points13 points ago

He better use it sparingly, you can't sustain Sage Mode for long periods of time.

[–]BuckeyeBentley 1 point2 points ago

sage goes in all fields.

[–]The_Link_Child 0 points1 point ago

Unless he has clones. Or...something.

[–]Nukleon 3 points4 points ago

More like Santa mode.

[–]vadangelo 262 points263 points ago

3 beard strokes..... HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED.

[–]Thinks_Too_Logically 231 points232 points ago

There were only 2.

[–]xerograde 172 points173 points ago

SHIT.

[–]poon-is-food 152 points153 points ago

NEW HL2 EPISODE CONFIRMED

[–]pop_fest420 95 points96 points ago

Half-Life 2: Episode Two 2: The Third One, CONFIRMED.

[–]BulletBilll 80 points81 points ago

Actually it would be Half-Life 2: Episode Two part 2.

[–]breachgnome 57 points58 points ago

That would be 3 2s in one title. Maybe HL2 E2 Part B

[–]FlyingPasta 9 points10 points ago

3 2s? HL3 CONFIRMED

[–]ConstipatedNinja 4 points5 points ago

There would only be two 2s, part 2.

[–]okaytran 12 points13 points ago

We all know it's going to be Half-Life 2+(2/2)

[–]breachgnome 3 points4 points ago

HL2E2P2 looks like 3 2s to me.

[–]spectralnischay 3 points4 points ago

B looks like 3 with a line in front.

How about Half-Life 2: Episode Two: Part (1+1)

[–]breachgnome 2 points3 points ago

Crap, you're right. It's like BOB. 13013. Unluckiest name ever.

[–]katosjoes 2 points3 points ago

Half-Life 2: Episode Two: Electric Boogaloo.

[–]tylerbrainerd 1 point2 points ago

I watched the gif 1.5 times, 3 strokes.

[–]Gerhard2202 0 points1 point ago

True to your name, sir.

[–]Neosilver 6 points7 points ago

You know the real way to get HL3 out faster, right?

Make skinny jokes about gabe.

[–]isevenx 1 point2 points ago

i watched it three times. which means 6 beard strokes. divided by 2 strokes per loop.

Gillette Mach 3 razor blades = confirmed

[–]jiggymaster24 7 points8 points ago

He only stroked his beard twice, TWICE! Gabe he is the Ultimate troll.

[–]Sketh 6 points7 points ago

Beards shall be the new hats.

[–]Jerror 3 points4 points ago

I knew this day would come.

WTS VINTAGE CAMERA BEARD

[–]PriestmanX 26 points27 points ago

Damn, nigga's lost some weight. o/

[–]Neosilver 22 points23 points ago

Oh my god. I figured out how to get half life 3 out quicker.

EVERYONE MAKE SKINNY JOKES ABOUT GABE.

[–]Glitch198 30 points31 points ago

Yo Gabe Newell is SO skinny that he can fit in the space between two portals.

[–]onE_miNuTeS 7 points8 points ago

BOSS LIGHT SPEED

[–]Alibambam 3 points4 points ago

if you guys want context where this is from, this was the speech delivered by Gabe yesterday right before the first game of The International 2, the Dota2 tournament hosted by Valve.

Gabe said he played 2000 hours of dota 2 and still was horrible when he asked advice to icefrog, he replied with "Suck less".

[–]omnomcookiez 3 points4 points ago

Font could not 'Suck Less'

[–]InsertDiscSeven 4 points5 points ago

Oh god.

I want a beard so badly now.

[–]Sacamato 16 points17 points ago

Shave less.

[–]Sheltac 3 points4 points ago

Nice.

[–]Asylumrunner -1 points0 points ago

What is InsertDiscSeven is a woman?

[–]perlandsen 4 points5 points ago

That beard is getting rather epic.

[–]reddKidney 2 points3 points ago

be excellent to each other!

[–]Jerror 0 points1 point ago

\m/_

[–]TOCMasterK 0 points1 point ago

you never see GabeN and Robin Williams in the same room. just saying

[–]FISHHHHHHHH 3 points4 points ago

r/Gaben

[–]Nas-psu 2 points3 points ago

video?

[–]mcoree 4 points5 points ago

[–]tanzorbarbarian 1 point2 points ago

Yes, Master. Of course, Master.

[–]Hypponaut 1 point2 points ago

It is as if he extracts wisdom for his beard.

[–]Warkitz -1 points0 points ago

Gaben is Bezt!

[–]explodr 0 points1 point ago

That's what Valve did, and it worked out pretty well for them.

[–]dirice87 0 points1 point ago

I would follow this man through the gates of mordor

[–]ForeverMarried 1 point2 points ago

Why doesn't Valve/Steam do their very own version of Blizzcon? Or do they? A Fan Faire type thing.

[–]Tyaedalis 0 points1 point ago

He's turning into Santa Claus.

[–]BEnXDc 0 points1 point ago

I feel like he grew that beard just for the stroke.

[–]R3B00T 1 point2 points ago

Read the title as God gives us advice and once I saw it was a gif of Gabe I assumed Liamh101 meant Gabe was god which is pretty much true.

[–]davep85 0 points1 point ago

He's turning into his true form, Santa Clause. I mean in this in all respect, he gives away tons of shit all the time so it must be true.

[–]EMP826 0 points1 point ago

The beard has spoken.

[–]mindbleach 0 points1 point ago

I can't help but think of that as 'the Spoony font.'

[–]manuel_robot_cleaner 0 points1 point ago

Gaben just hid the nail on the head.

[–]GalcomMadwell 0 points1 point ago

When I look back at my life, I will always remember this as my starting point.

[–]retro-kitty 0 points1 point ago

hes hinting at half life 3

[–]WillMatty 0 points1 point ago

How do you actually pronounce Gabe? Jabe or with a hard G?

[–]edisleado 1 point2 points ago

A hard G, as in the beginning of "go".

[–]amaterasu246 0 points1 point ago

I want to rub against his beard...

[–]guaranteeddownvotes 0 points1 point ago

Like delivering on a franchise? Because that isn't Valve's style.

[–]Cheeseyx 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like bad advise to me. If everyone sucks less, there will be less blowjobs. Do you want to cause less blowjobs?

[–]Ragefacesoflucy 0 points1 point ago

Omg. I heard that in his voice like I was there.

[–]Handicap_stall 0 points1 point ago

Our god has... SPOKEN!

[–]sambot5 1 point2 points ago

SNIFF...best advice I'd ever gotten...

[–]Mack488 -3 points-2 points ago

Well if Gabe says so....

[–]SweetJeezuus -2 points-1 points ago

Ai Ai Sir.

[–]SlimThugga 0 points1 point ago

That beard makes him look like a picture-perfect Santa Claus.

[–]jhaluska 3 points4 points ago

Santa wishes he was as awesome as Gabe.

[–]NocturnalGamer 1 point2 points ago

What if he was just growing the beard so he could release half life 3 on christmas, he would be like the Jesus Christ/Santa Claus of gaming.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]advancix 5 points6 points ago

woah, calm down bro. Hitler did nothing wrong.

[–]______________Nebag 1 point2 points ago

Ironic idiot. You're the one circlejerking

[–]cowpunter -5 points-4 points ago

You forgot to append "PS3 HAZ NO GAMEZ LOL!"

[–]ACDCGAMER 0 points1 point ago

Gabe is rocking a fucking awesome UNIX beard there. He's not even 50 yet and he would make the likes of Dennis Ritchie proud.

[–]truelikelihood 0 points1 point ago

fuck fuck fucking thank you for this! i was having doubts about my similar beard because people tend to give you this quizzical look but now i feel AWESOME again for having a beard. THANK YOU

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]eff_bawmb 0 points1 point ago

Except he used his whole hand.

[–]Mysanthropy -3 points-2 points ago

I could give the team that developed CS:GO the same advice.