this post was submitted on
1,731 points (52% like it)
17,397 up votes 15,666 down votes

funny

subscribe2,397,606 readers

15,137 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 446

[–]myoclonic_jerk 687 points688 points ago

At first I thought he (the dirtbike) was joyfully skipping over to see Mike, but what actually happened was so much better.

[–]mike951rs 415 points416 points ago

Mike here, and it was not joyful.

[–]HAPPY_SAD 205 points206 points ago

:(

[–]comfty_numb 57 points58 points ago

where is the happy?

nevermind... found it ):

[–]nineteeneleven 36 points37 points ago

still can't find it

edit: still can't find it

[–]tokomini 38 points39 points ago

:(

Hope that helps.

[–]Padsworth 78 points79 points ago

What the fuck are you people talking about?

[–]Mono200 11 points12 points ago

Pssst, happy sad cake day

[–]CaptainTurtle 1 point2 points ago

I'd also love to know.

[–]phi186 8 points9 points ago

:(

should erase any confusion

[–]CaptainTurtle 4 points5 points ago

OH. I can't believe that got past me... ):

[–]mikachuu 2 points3 points ago

Unfortunately I'm still confused.

Ninjedit: :O Nevermind!

[–]BrendanAS 2 points3 points ago

[–]miked4o7 53 points54 points ago

Another Mike here, sharing that feel.

[–]bleakabasement 213 points214 points ago

My first job out of college, I worked with a guy named Mike. One of those young guys that rises to the top really quickly. You're not sure if it's because he's good at his job or he just knows someone. But there he is, doing his thing, not really bothering anyone or making any enemies.

Mike was there when the place opened each morning and worked late into the evening after everyone was gone. He had no real commitments outside of work. But we all tried to get him to loosen up a little. We took him to lunch, over to the local gym a couple times.

But then this guy started who was flamboyantly gay. Working directly with Mike. This guy told all of us that Mike's problem was he was in the closet and just needed to get "fucked in the ass."

The week before Christmas, we're all working on some ridiculous deadline. We're all stressed, about to jump out the window. And Mike comes in and asks if we want to go out for drinks after work. We were dumbfounded.

We end up at a gay bar. The place our gay coworker suggested, to try to loosen Mike up a bit. Halfway through the night, each of us well on our way to total inebriation, we see Mike making out with this guy. Then we see this dude flip Mike over the table and rip his pants off. Mike's ass is just hanging out there.

Guys lined up to have their turn. We watched as guy after guy sodomized our coworker. But we were reassured by Mike's smile, a tear of joy in his bleary eye.

Apparently, it was Open Mike Night.

[–]element6868 26 points27 points ago

brilliant execution, i was genuinely fooled

[–]thehonz 53 points54 points ago

And Stephenie Meyer is a best seller? Horse-shit.

[–]Horse_Shit_Inspector 31 points32 points ago

Confirmed.

[–]Badlydrawnboy0 7 points8 points ago

8 months. That is some legit shit.

[–]nedprz 3 points4 points ago

very well executed sir

[–]smashedfinger 16 points17 points ago

that was beautiful.

[–]tustinjimberlake 6 points7 points ago

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

[–]FluffyLion 9 points10 points ago

[–]squarepush3r 9 points10 points ago

lol wut

[–]DeathWalrus 4 points5 points ago

must be bozarking, reincarnated!

[–]Jonny_Watts 22 points23 points ago

Jonny here, confirming that's Mike.

[–]nizzleh 9 points10 points ago

Dirtbike here, confirming Mike's an asshole.

[–]achievable_chode44 18 points19 points ago

Obama here, AmA

[–]Jonny_Watts 29 points30 points ago

obAMA

[–]SycoJack 6 points7 points ago

Obama, Barack Ask Me Anything?

[–]bagelpusher 3 points4 points ago

I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym

[–]MrUseL3tter 2 points3 points ago

Jules here. Confirming Jonny.

[–]goodguynextdoor 6 points7 points ago

Stop lying

[–]i_drank_what 2 points3 points ago

Socrates here. Confirming that is Jonny.

[–]Jonny_Watts 2 points3 points ago

Socrates. Socrates!

[–]pagodapagoda 18 points19 points ago

Mike reporting in, I confirm the above Mike's statement.

[–]loveandbaseketball 25 points26 points ago

Your username isn't Mike, we don't believe you.

[–]thatguynamedmike 21 points22 points ago

Did somebody call me?

[–]themikebrown 12 points13 points ago

Would you believe me?

[–]jtcompound 18 points19 points ago

We will need proof of your Mikeship.

[–]pagodapagoda 17 points18 points ago

Alright, ask me a question only Mike would know.

[–]tackytack 15 points16 points ago

What is your name?

[–]Forensicunit 22 points23 points ago

Homer. No! Mike.

Damn it.

[–]0x33 5 points6 points ago

Well my name is Mike but you have to use a calculator to convert my name to see it correctly.

[–]pagodapagoda 2 points3 points ago

Mike.

[–]tackytack 4 points5 points ago

Alright everyone. This guy checks out.

[–]DiscoMonkay 4 points5 points ago

What's up Mike?

[–]pagodapagoda 2 points3 points ago

Not much bro, just chillin.

[–]skyman724 1 point2 points ago

Was the bike named Ike?

(because Bike is clearly not a great name so I would imagine he changed it)

[–]Deluxe_ortheFUTURE 2 points3 points ago

Judgement: Deluxe

[–]KoalaBackfist 11 points12 points ago

The wobble of the tire made it so much more epic. I lol'd to tears man! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

[–]HAPPY_SAD 58 points59 points ago

:)

[–]PeteKenBro 6 points7 points ago

Ohhhhh

[–]bootnish 14 points15 points ago

Nope that dirtbike was joyfully skipping over to KILL mike

[–]calicojones 11 points12 points ago

mike, mike, motorbike
there's no way that'll hit you (psych!)

[–]LordOfTheNorth 5 points6 points ago

That's not dirt bike. It's speedway.

[–]cpnHindsight 113 points114 points ago

[–]Diablopop 33 points34 points ago

Yay! I wrote that segment. Glad to see it still has life on the internet.

[–]kjm16 5 points6 points ago

So it's you who was responsible for the awful voice over clip shows?

[–]Diablopop 7 points8 points ago

No, that's the audience's fault.

[–]kjm16 1 point2 points ago

Damn audience and their cliched production techniques.

[–]JeddakofThark 8 points9 points ago

The gif is missing the guy trying to beat the bike down. It's like he's saying "Dude, you're way too drunk. Mike doesn't remember you. He sure as hell doesn't want you to see you when you're like this."

[–]alastor_91 1 point2 points ago

You are the hero reddit deserves

[–]Krypt0night 49 points50 points ago

Man, I was letdown at the end. Thought it was going to hit the other riders as they came around.

[–]supergalactic 11 points12 points ago

I was waiting for that too. Oh the carnage!!

[–]Krypt0night 9 points10 points ago

The carnage that would have been :(

[–]El_Suavador 43 points44 points ago

More like bike-nage, am I right guys?

...Guys?

[–]KANahas 29 points30 points ago

Pity upvote.

[–]creepypaste 7 points8 points ago

Bless his heart...

[–]DeathStep 10 points11 points ago

[–]misterchief117 172 points173 points ago

You have to be REALLY unlucky if you got hit by that.

[–]Geotis 242 points243 points ago

...or Mike.

[–]StairwayToTruth 51 points52 points ago

... or Brian.

[–]Rage_Kage51 23 points24 points ago

This is twenty minutes away from my house. Accidents are pretty common at this track. Every time I have gone I stay up at the top of the bleachers.

Here's a "best of" the crashes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmTzheo3pVQ

[–]Zoomalude 14 points15 points ago

Started to watch this. Took 30 seconds to get tired of WNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG.

[–]th0991 3 points4 points ago

Here is the best one, in my opinion.

[–]ablebodiedmango 28 points29 points ago

Or fucking blind

[–]jellefied 106 points107 points ago

Mike pisses off everyone

[–]Magnemmike 67 points68 points ago

Sorry bro, not on purpose.

[–]Matttend 26 points27 points ago

Thats no excuse!

[–]pagodapagoda 49 points50 points ago

Shut up Matt.

[–]RicksterCraft 12 points13 points ago

At least he isn't Rick.

[–]myhandsarebananas 8 points9 points ago

No one likes self loathing Rick

[–]mike951rs 8 points9 points ago

Mike here as well. (Bro hug)

[–]Squeaky_Is_Evil 24 points25 points ago

Especially Walt.

[–]Rountree85 5 points6 points ago

WAAAAAALT!!!!

[–]MikeWillisUK 2 points3 points ago

:-(

[–]trojanguy 216 points217 points ago

I'm sitting here browsing reddit on my phone while rocking my 1 year old to sleep, and I'm surprised he didn't wake up with how much I was shaking from laughing at this.

[–]trakam 32 points33 points ago

But then you dropped the little bugger on the floor to type your comment, didn't you?

[–]walking_away_ 76 points77 points ago

That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. If my ovaries weren't already melting away inside of me, they would begin.

[–]Quinnett 101 points102 points ago

you should probably get that checked out.

[–]ftc08 8 points9 points ago

Happens every month. They know what it's all about by this point in their lives.

[–]walking_away_ 3 points4 points ago

Unless you are in Arizona. Cause then you suddenly become pregnant by the holy ghost.

[–]Justizzi 30 points31 points ago

I'm a doctor. Tell me more.

[–]MindlessDreamer 17 points18 points ago

Well he's not a doctor, but his friend is.

[–]SycoJack 19 points20 points ago

Well.... His friend ain't really a doctor either, but he stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.

[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 8 points9 points ago

You all know each other?

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef 8 points9 points ago

We're a family here, except girls, because that's incest.... Unless your into that, then she's totally your sister.

[–]markadactyle 8 points9 points ago

Ovaries melting? Go on...

[–]walking_away_ 16 points17 points ago

I am ovulating. When a woman ovulates, generally she will get this sticky white discharge. Personally, I get very horny. So I like to say that my ovaries and melting.

You know, me getting all hot and bothered.... and then the discharge....

My ovaries are melting.

Edit: I guess I could have said that my ovaries are melting and it made me wet. That would have been much more sexy. Oh, well.

[–]midnightsbane04 2 points3 points ago

So, get many dick pics from this? Very nice use of descriptive language though, bravo.

[–]thatguywhodrinks 8 points9 points ago

1 year old? Obviously the whole trojan thing didn't work out

[–]DoggleDZ 21 points22 points ago

How does the throttle get stuck on a motorcycle? Did Mike do it?

[–]vertigo1083 32 points33 points ago

Probably jammed open when he dropped it. Not completely unheard of. Usually the case when you have a runaway bike.

Although I've NEVER seen one go beyond 15-20 feet. This one seemed possessed.

[–]YouListening 24 points25 points ago

Well, Mike's a douche. Even inanimate objects hate Mike

[–]themikebrown 7 points8 points ago

That's true. I recently got into a fight with a computer.

Those bastards fight dirty!

[–]YouListening 4 points5 points ago

You deserved it, and you know it, Mike.

[–]Geotis 38 points39 points ago

I laughed way too hard and way too long at this.

[–]lemonusAli 8 points9 points ago

I think I'm out of laughs for tonight.

[–]sidizthekid 4 points5 points ago

Me too, don't think I've ever laughed that hard at anything on reddit before. Then again, it's 3 AM here so. Now I'm gonna watch it again a couple of times.

[–]JHoNNy1OoO 2 points3 points ago

It's the wobbling that did it for me.

[–]MPR_64 100 points101 points ago

your username is idontupvotereposts? guess what! REPOST! this was on /r/funny a month or so ago

[–]narcoleptic_insomnia 50 points51 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
a Dirt-bike having a wonderful time 2coms 78pts 1mo GifSound
Troll Bike 11coms 105pts 1mo gifs
So long, fuckers! 5coms 12pts 1mo funny
MIKE!!! 15coms 399pts 1mo gifs
Bike's going the Distance. 0coms 5pts 4dys GifSound
Is that Mike?! 4coms 7pts 1mo gifs

source: karmadecay

[–]nograv 66 points67 points ago

"Troll Bike" has to be the worst title imaginable for this gif.

[–]prose-before-hoes 30 points31 points ago

What about "I hate black people"

[–]ThatJesterJeff 5 points6 points ago

Mike is black?

[–]billyzero 12 points13 points ago

Anything with the word "troll" in it is usually a terrible title.

[–]HeadOrFace 3 points4 points ago

Interesting how many times it had to be posted before hitting the front page.

[–]Not_Homeless 4 points5 points ago

its been on the front page about a dozen times in the last year

[–]HeadOrFace 1 point2 points ago

Ah, that makes sense. Non of the listed reposts above had that many upvotes.

[–]yackerman 20 points21 points ago

His username isn't idontpostreposts, so I don't see the problem here.

[–]dacemage 5 points6 points ago

When you post something, it is immediately upvoted by you. Unless he's doing hard mode.

[–]yackerman 8 points9 points ago

We'll just have to assume he's a man of his word and removed the automatic upvote.

[–]RedGoatSurprise 12 points13 points ago

To be fair, his username isn't idontsubmitreposts.

[–]ForzaOne 6 points7 points ago

Hmm, well that's odd. I don't recall seeing it.

[–]BCP27 9 points10 points ago

The best it has ever done is 399 points, hardly front page.

[–]smileymalaise 9 points10 points ago

I have no experience on dirt bikes or motorcycles, so I have an honest question. How does this happen? Wouldn't the handlebars tilt to the sides putting the bike down on it's side?

[–]chrisms150 15 points16 points ago

spinning wheels are gyroscopes. They resist change in their orientation.

[–]smileymalaise 3 points4 points ago

Thank you. I guess my only understanding is from riding bicycles which don't go so fast, so it would make sense that a bike going faster would have a stronger gyroscopic effect.

[–]chrisms150 4 points5 points ago

Even your not so fast biking does this. Otherwise you'd have to constantly correct your balance. This is why it's hard to start riding a bike but once you get going it's easy to stay up right.

[–]thesandbar2 5 points6 points ago

Also, bikes are self correcting to a point. If the wheels tilt left, the bike tilts left and makes the wheels straight again. Same for right. I think i saw it in a popsci thingy.

[–]superphotonerd 15 points16 points ago

this is brilliant

[–]dooditzmike 7 points8 points ago

What did I do? :(

[–]Turning_Test_Fail 3 points4 points ago

Is this one of the ways to die in Cabin in the Woods or out of Final Destination???

Because it should!

[–]migzors 5 points6 points ago

Fuck the bike, he's mad because his mother is a Trike.
Source: I'm Mike

[–]nanananaIKEMAN 3 points4 points ago

I did NAAAT crash into her! I did NAAAT! Oh hi Mike.

[–]WillThisGo2FrontPage 18 points19 points ago

YEAH

[–]ImperatorTek 4 points5 points ago

Simple hilarious. 10/10

[–]bulltown03 3 points4 points ago

I laughed so god damned hard... I couldn't even look at it again for like 10 min so I would stop crying.... Fucking amazing... Made a complete ass out of my self in the library

Edit:

[–]Theolore 1 point2 points ago

I hate making an add out of myself. Really subtracts from the whole situation.

[–]cs_italol 3 points4 points ago

This is the hardest i've ever laughed at a gif. Thank you.

[–]Rager133 4 points5 points ago

So, you downvoted yourself, right?

[–]poopyfarts 0 points1 point ago

Finally reddit made laugh today. Thank you.

[–]Ominous_Seal 2 points3 points ago

Why did i laugh so much. Omg it hurts

[–]MikeWillisUK 2 points3 points ago

What did I ever do to be called a fucking piece of shit? :-(

[–]tacotacotaco_1 0 points1 point ago

Annnnnnd now there's beer all over my screen

[–]isador 2 points3 points ago

Second time I've nearly choked from laughing today on Reddit

[–]Who-R-you 2 points3 points ago

I've had such a shitty week and this made me laugh so hard. Thank you for sharing.

[–]BadFont777 2 points3 points ago

I was having a bad day. Keyword, "was."

[–]discolando 2 points3 points ago

I thought I was immune to "funny" GIFs, and then I met this fellow. Excuse me while I wipe away my tears of joy.

[–]agentcoco 1 point2 points ago

I'm laying in bed laughing so loud at this and my mom can't understand why

[–]illogical_operator 0 points1 point ago

I'm slightly quite drunk, so I can't tell if that was really the funniest thing I've ever seen or if I just wet my pants for nothing.

[–]R3ptar1337 1 point2 points ago

Ironic username seeing this is old as tits. Still upvoted though.

[–]dylan_produkt 0 points1 point ago

Heh, I live 20 minutes away from this race track. Grand!

[–]hmgamer 0 points1 point ago

I laughed longer than I should of at this...

[–]Fistedpiglet 0 points1 point ago

Yes, Norm?

[–]LigerTiger10 1 point2 points ago

Nice username, it took the words right out if my mouth.

[–]wytewydow -1 points0 points ago

This was a stupid title for the first time this gif made the rounds..

[–]betchdontblink 0 points1 point ago

I have never laughed at something on reddit so heartily before.. Why is this so goddamn funny

[–]shaunphil 1 point2 points ago

[–]ilovemyboom 1 point2 points ago

Omg. I kept watching it over and over, each time laughing harder and harder. Thank you

[–]SAW08 1 point2 points ago

I laughed. HARD.

[–]ablebodiedmango 0 points1 point ago

I have a friend who comes up to people looking and sounding like that when he's drunk.

[–]Calibas 1 point2 points ago

Isn't it cheating to have a bike that drives itself?

[–]Rebelduck 1 point2 points ago

Oh my god this might be the best gif ever.

[–]jacob_h26 0 points1 point ago

mike clearly owes the dirtbike money

[–]coverlie 1 point2 points ago

[–]PaulSach 0 points1 point ago

Us Mikes just can't catch a break, can we?

[–]ohaithere123098 1 point2 points ago

Shut up, Paul.

[–]doctorbusch -1 points0 points ago

Ok so I don't know anything about engines or motorcycles, but why the hell would you make an engine that would continue to run (not just idle, but actually run) without a driver there to tell it to run?

[–]ChromaticBadger 1 point2 points ago

I just want to know why that Applegate Garage banner at the end is upside down.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TheCrispyNinka 0 points1 point ago

Mike is kind of a dick

[–]93Vector 0 points1 point ago

Allen! Allen! Al. Hey, Allen! Al, Al!

[–]LNarddog 1 point2 points ago

If this didn't have the text, I would be worried. But with the text I am crying from laughter. Thank you internet.

[–]Captain_Self_Promotr 0 points1 point ago

Was everyone OK?

[–]PSIStarstormOmega 0 points1 point ago

I can confirm this.

Source: IAMA Mike, AMA.

[–]twitinkie 0 points1 point ago

My name is Mike and I can confirm this.

[–]Sparkvoltage 1 point2 points ago

The captions were what killed me.

[–]Mussa257 0 points1 point ago

Oh god. It was the "MIKE! You fucking piece of shit!" that got me haha.

[–]wertuy6785 0 points1 point ago

Jeez Mike, crack isn't the answer.

[–]Reddevil313 0 points1 point ago

My name is Mike and this hurt my feelings.

[–]jonnypark 0 points1 point ago

That's some scary shit.

[–]shampoocell -1 points0 points ago

FENTON!

[–]cberra88 1 point2 points ago

I haven't laughed that hard in a long ass time. That was hilarious!

[–]Niftyo 1 point2 points ago

The weird flailing "run" is just so perfect.

10/10

[–]Wrath_Of_Aguirre 1 point2 points ago

I'm laughing way too hard at that.

[–]MaritimeMedic 1 point2 points ago

Holy hell I was working when I saw this and laughed uncontrollably. I had to step away for a few minutes to recompose myself. Made my day.

[–]XxrockgirlxX 0 points1 point ago

Mike must be a jerk

[–]Punky867 1 point2 points ago

Holy shit! 10% off at motel 6!

[–]jvm4th 0 points1 point ago

I laughed too hard at this...

[–]Lttngblt 0 points1 point ago

Laughed more at this than I'd like to admit...

[–]lynxexp 1 point2 points ago

I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard.

[–]themikebrown 0 points1 point ago

That's why I don't get loans from dirtbikes.

[–]duffmanhb 0 points1 point ago

My dad used to do this, he's had some crazy crashes. No more than Kevin Rubio though, he became a celebrity because he made it onto a lot of channels when he went over the railing and played rag-doll with the near track rails.

[–]PissesInSink 1 point2 points ago

SULLY!!! You chode

[–]StructuralPigeon 0 points1 point ago

This is one of my all time favorite gifs. It could be the thousandth repost and I would still laugh.