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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Colemaj 922 points923 points ago

I strongly believe that OP staged this picture by sticking the claw of a crayfish up a fishes ass. I am a biologist, and while I mostly study behavior, I know enough anatomy to draw a few conclusions. This is the underbelly of the fish, given the lightening of scales. The fins at the bottom of the image are the anal fins, which occur right behind the cloaca of a fish. This would imply the fish ate a crayfish, the crayfish did not get digested, and wound up having its claw poking out of the anus of a fish. This simply couldn't happen. It would either a.) get digested or b.) kill the fish by getting stuck in its gut. Conclusion: The picture was staged. This is probably the most appalling thing I've seen done for karma.

source: I study fish for a living.

edit: I'm glad this got noticed, shits fucked up for real. Doesn't it seem strange that red fish parts stayed on the claw even though the fish was supposedly caught. Finally, what fish would bit a lure when its in that kind of pain. Scared/in pain fish hide, they don't bite.

tl;dr OP shoved a crayfish claw up a fishes ass for karma. THE FUCK?

[–]SA1L 235 points236 points ago

tl;dr OP shoved a crayfish claw up a fishes ass for karma. THE FUCK?

Best tl;dr of the day

[–]zcc0nonA 15 points16 points ago

/r/KarmaConspiracy it is real

[–]HisRoyalHiney 22 points23 points ago

the day?

[–]gmorales87 7 points8 points ago

Past 6 hours.

[–]jblo 4 points5 points ago

Where is shitty_watercolor when we REALLY need him!!!

[–]ThatIsMyHat 3 points4 points ago

Painting Obama again.

[–]DropShotter 81 points82 points ago

I can tell you, not necessarily true. Fisherman here. I have caught many of fish that have objects or other invertebrate parts coming out of their cloacas. Very few FW fish have the stomach to handle the carapace of a crab/crawdad. One that does though, and eats them frequently, is a large mouth bass. And judging by the underbelly, it doesnt really look like that of a bass. Not saying that he didnt stage it, but I wouldn't make wild claims like that based on your profession. I have a picture somewhere of a bass I caught that had a giant crank bait that it swallowed (no hooks on it which was odd) that was coming out of its cloaca. Ill try and find it.

[–]squiresuzuki 7 points8 points ago

I'm not sure who to believe, but that claw has some red stuff on it. Wouldn't have that stuff come off if the fish was in the water? Seems like it was indeed poken through outside the water.

[–]ghegeman 1 point2 points ago

The red may be natural coloration.

[–]Joemonkey 3 points4 points ago

I read that as wild clams...

[–]wootastic 8 points9 points ago

You really think someone would do that? Shove a crayfish up a fish's ass and lie about it.

[–]foofoobee 6 points7 points ago

OP shoved a crayfish claw up a fishes ass for karma. THE FUCK?

This would make a lovely entry for /r/nocontext

[–]MsMeepz 13 points14 points ago

[–]IthinktherforeIthink 9 points10 points ago

The pixels look funky around where the claw sticking out, I think it's shopped

[–]crobison 0 points1 point ago

Oh shit, really?

[–]Foxprowl 1234 points1235 points ago

This is like a creationist's understanding of evolution.

[–]goddamnbatman617 677 points678 points ago

"That's a crab trout. That's not evolution, they're cousins. It's inbreeding, something we know a lot about. WHOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEE!"

[–]Divotus 308 points309 points ago

No its not... its clearly a clawfish..

[–]HeliBif 408 points409 points ago

Craaaaaab people Craaaaab people...

[–]SIOS 157 points158 points ago

Tastes like crab, talk like people...

[–]Phalkyn 53 points54 points ago

But what about ZOOOOIBERRRRRG?! SOB

[–]TeethofBusey 56 points57 points ago

Did-a-chick. Dad-a-cham.

[–]Novalith 25 points26 points ago

For some reason I thought of the Dark Tower series reading that...

[–]JohnicBoom 13 points14 points ago

High Speech brings back so many good memories. :-)

At the same time, poor Roland. Fuck.

Ninja edit: I am aware that is not high speech, but it made me think of it too. :-)

[–]Brony_Starstruck 2 points3 points ago

That's the point.

[–]iLoveNox 2 points3 points ago

Wow thanks, you have successfully erased the little sleep I get between work and school by reminding me how long its been since I've read the series

[–]scampbe999 3 points4 points ago

I've had more conversations about/seen more references to the Dark Tower books in the last week than I've had in the four years since I finished them. It must be a sign.

Some might say...ka.

[–]illegal_people 18 points19 points ago

Woopwoopwoopwoop.

[–]ThinkImJustHappy 26 points27 points ago

Zoid* -_-

[–]dharrison21 43 points44 points ago

Add it to that progress of man picture. Clawfish: Crabwalking into fishsticks since 2012.

[–]Tannerleaf 36 points37 points ago

Do you like fishsticks?

[–]jianthekorean 57 points58 points ago

I ain't no gay fish!

[–]Mi_llamo_T-bone 18 points19 points ago

I like fishsticks in my mouth.

[–]HowOriginal26 18 points19 points ago

What are you, a gay fish?

[–]jclarkwright 15 points16 points ago

I'm a mothafuckin genius!

[–]mathgod 51 points52 points ago

[–]pineconeboy 9 points10 points ago

Fair enough.

[–]foxlink 30 points31 points ago

I can't believe the first 616 goddamnbatmen were taken.

[–]thattaboychuk 2 points3 points ago

617 is the Boston area code. Maybe he's from Boston.

[–]phred911 25 points26 points ago

ha you got me.

I actually googled crab trout

[–]systmh 5 points6 points ago

As bad as it is, this makes it that much more hilarious.

[–]Jayson182 3 points4 points ago

Then why are there still crabs?

[–]ZeroKaiser 13 points14 points ago

Exactly what I came here to say. Crabfish and crocoducks.

[–]sethpeck 1084 points1085 points ago

This looks more like a fish swallowed a crawdad and the crawdad fought back a little before it died.

[–]tiredofthehate 130 points131 points ago

Have you ever been so mad that you punched through a fish, from the inside?

[–]cocksmooch 4 points5 points ago

goddamn, man... yeah.

[–]cturnr 154 points155 points ago

[–]befaper 52 points53 points ago

Worked the summer removing invasive crayfish...said that 10 times a day

[–]fromtheoven 41 points42 points ago

Worked at a place where I fed halibut, can't tell you how many times I said I was doing something just for the halibut.

[–]FuzzyWazzyWasnt 8 points9 points ago

There is actually a job title for removing invasive crayfish? How the hell is this that much of a problem?

[–]thesearewords 7 points8 points ago

I once paid a hooker down in 'Bama $20 to give me a rusty crayfish.

[–]pinky_ring 34 points35 points ago

[–]LeonTrotsky_on_speed 26 points27 points ago

This has a disappointing lack of jpeg.

[–]basiphobe 9 points10 points ago

[–]Green_Mouth[S] 669 points670 points ago

Yeah that's pretty much what we figured.

[–]sethpeck 271 points272 points ago

[–]Corrinth 217 points218 points ago

Someone should change the text to:

Never give up. Never surrender.

[–]youhavelobsterhands 84 points85 points ago

By Grabthar's hammer.. What a savings!

[–]scapermoya 26 points27 points ago

By the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged!

[–]ChurdFurts 2 points3 points ago

Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!

[–]d12anoel 120 points121 points ago

[–]MrBig0 68 points69 points ago

Holy shit. I don't remember him looking nearly that gross.

[–]for_me_to_post_on 38 points39 points ago

I never thought Tim the Tool Man Taylor could look like a man with a freezer full of his family.

Edit: Found this cool link http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/tim-allen-was-a-convicted-drug-dealer-before-becoming-famous/

[–]Akira_kj 42 points43 points ago

That was the coke years. Lots and lots of coke years. For years and years. Coke.

[–]Rummy9 22 points23 points ago

he a pepsi guy now?

[–]Akira_kj 0 points1 point ago

More of a Mr.Pib guy now.

[–]TheCrafter 20 points21 points ago

It's a terrible picture. I never noticed that small mullet in the movie.

Also, I know what I'm watching tonight.

[–]phoenix0r 23 points24 points ago

I think that's the headshot from Tim Allen's character's 'glory days' on the TV show.

[–]JavaLlamaFTW 3 points4 points ago

This guy has it, he only looked like that in the reruns and old pictures, in the rest of the movie he has a "normal" haircut

[–]TheCrafter 0 points1 point ago

I...don't think so.

I could easily be wrong tho.

[–]CrazyDymond88 4 points5 points ago

yeah, it definitely is, he didn't look like that through the whole movie, that was when "Galaxy Quest" the show, was actually running.

[–]failcheck 6 points7 points ago

I haven't seen a Galaxy Quest reference in a long time.

[–]rooklaw 3 points4 points ago

He. Has. Saved. Us.

[–]drmagnanimous 47 points48 points ago

You're becoming more like your father.

[–]somehokie 33 points34 points ago

USE THE BOOST TO GET THROUGH!

TRY A SOMERSAULT!

DO A BARREL ROLL!

I love this game, so very much.

[–]trisk 26 points27 points ago

Did you have to say all of them?

[–]Will_M10 24 points25 points ago

If he didn't there would have been a circle jerk saying them all anyway.

[–]somehokie 4 points5 points ago

I'm sorry. I really love the game. My high score is 1234, actually. And no, I didn't try to make it come out that way. It just did.

[–]MiggyEvans 6 points7 points ago

I saw my life flash before my eyes.

[–]the_rickmeister 24 points25 points ago

Damnit I thought we were past this!

[–]l3dig 11 points12 points ago

[–]Urbanviking1 53 points54 points ago

"I am not a crook!"

[–]Wirenutt 3 points4 points ago

Leave her alone, you Bitch!

[–]derpplease 6 points7 points ago

I will never give you up.

[–]Beersaround 5 points6 points ago

Never gonna let you down.

[–]PaperbackBuddha 15 points16 points ago

Wow, that's back from the days when we had to make memes by hand and fax them around.

[–]phoenix0r 0 points1 point ago

Don't you mean mimeograph? Faxes were way too fancy back then.

[–]PaperbackBuddha 3 points4 points ago

Man, we used to sniff those purple handouts back in the day. Mimeographs were my second high, right after spinning around in circles. Then we moved on to huffing Magic Markers. It was kinda like the 60s but not.

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

[–]jyz002 4 points5 points ago

I haven't seen this poster in a long time, I kind of miss it.

[–]curzon176 31 points32 points ago

If it makes you feel any better OP, i understood right away that you were being fecetious, and didn't see a reason to point out the obvious.

[–]Devdogg 55 points56 points ago

I think you mean, "facetious," but maybe it's a joke I'm missing. A shitty joke.

[–]arudius 16 points17 points ago

This is the most underrated pun I've read on reddit, bar nothing.

[–]henrybear 80 points81 points ago

THAT FISH CRAY!

edit: http://qkme.me/3qpeih

[–]bellonkg 3 points4 points ago

What she orda? Cray Fish cray?

[–]byte-smasher 6 points7 points ago

I once saw a seagull eat a chicken bone, only to have the bone lodge in its neck..... it flew fly away with a neck that was bulging out quite a bit.

Totally unrelated, but your comment reminded me of this.

[–]matthewarsenault 6 points7 points ago

Largemouth bass cannot digest the shells of crayfish so this is probably just an extra big (and painful) poop for that fish. It may have even been blocking his digestive tract which would eventually kill him. If the crayfish were able to "fight back" inside of the fish, he probably would have ruptured his spleen or stomach and killed him way before the claw was passed.

[–]big_star 1 point2 points ago

So you're saying it's survival of the fittest then?

Or maybe the fish should get a Darwin Award?

[–]dharrison21 9 points10 points ago

You're very observant aren't you? Are you a detective? edit: Wow, no love for a family guy reference. Screw you guys, I'm going home.

[–]BlueMacaw 2 points3 points ago

I had the same thing happen to me at Red Lobster during Crabfest.

[–]jpf566 0 points1 point ago

Captain obvious strikes again.

[–]johnny107 193 points194 points ago

It looks like the fish swallowed a crab, and then the crab frantically tried to tear it's way out of the fish before it died..

DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY!

[–]raulprando 15 points16 points ago

It's neature

[–]jonnypondwater 4 points5 points ago

You can tell by the way it is.

[–]aborted_cause 290 points291 points ago

Your fish has crabs.

[–]brilisk 33 points34 points ago

So simple. So elegant. Funny as fuck.

[–]bee-bop-aloo-bop 46 points47 points ago

Now that's indigestion!

[–]TrumpedOut 15 points16 points ago

[–]missile69 24 points25 points ago

Your move crustaceanists. FTFY

[–]Forgainst_it 1 point2 points ago

As a Crustaceanist, this is the missing link we have been looking to find.

[–]GSoviet306 20 points21 points ago

Am I the only one here who notices that that's the fish's anus?

[–]pgibso 35 points36 points ago

"Creationist"? Is there only one now? LETS GET HIM

[–]TheDersh 15 points16 points ago

oh shit. That fish ate a crab and it would not die. imagine. A crab clawing its way out of your stomach. You're welcome.

[–]SIOS 33 points34 points ago

Big deal. They're already crawling out of my genitals.

[–]zero_fucks_to_give 11 points12 points ago

First there was the crocoduck, then came the cray.. fish. Wait. But, you see, the fish is because it is an actual fish, not just from the word crayfish. Ahh, fuck it.

[–]alejo699 10 points11 points ago

Why is it that they're called crayfish and crawfish and crawdads but never craydads? I always wondered....

[–]dharrison21 10 points11 points ago

Craydads they are from now on. Begun, the crayfish war has..

[–]Boronx 9 points10 points ago

You're already backsliding.

[–]dharrison21 7 points8 points ago

Damn Craydads.

[–]Sabojik 5 points6 points ago

That shit cray.

[–]UnveiledCorgi64 114 points115 points ago

you wanna catch a fish? why not zoidberg?

[–]overused-meme-alert 6 points7 points ago

why not zoidberg

WEEOOOWEEOOOWEEOOO.

[–]Thereminz 8 points9 points ago

this kills the crab.... and the fish

[–]nrgkart 17 points18 points ago

FALCON PUNCH! CRAWDAD PUNCH!!!

[–]fknbastard 13 points14 points ago

I for one welcome our crab fisted fish overlords

[–]sinds 6 points7 points ago

At first I thought this was a commentary on how easy it is to stick foreign objects in dead fish for karma.

[–]agirlnotnamedsue 7 points8 points ago

Holy crab!

[–]Rustedbones 8 points9 points ago

New theory. That is actually the fishes ass, and part of the crayfish wasn't digested.

[–]TODO_TOTO 4 points5 points ago

That shit cray.

[–]Lick_My_Nuts 6 points7 points ago

Clearly that is crab Jonah breaking out of the fish's belly by the grace of God.

[–]SteampunkCylon 23 points24 points ago

Crawdad: "KAMEHA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAA"

[–]Kamikaze_Leprechaun 10 points11 points ago

CRAYFISH PAUUUNCH

[–]Jibs117 5 points6 points ago

Its a CROUT!!! Science damnit!

[–]jaspaahh 2 points3 points ago

Was this pulled out of the Gulf? Thanks BP!

[–]sidwood 3 points4 points ago

When I was a kid, my grandma's pond had an old catfish they called One Eyed Jack. Years before I was born one of my uncles was fishing with live crawdads as bait, and... there was a struggle. He felt so bad for the fish that he let him go, and he was tossed back every time he was caught for the rest of his days.

[–]jayayeseekay 3 points4 points ago

Scaly man-fish?

[–]thlayli_x 3 points4 points ago

I'm amazed that the 30th person to suggest it ate a crab still hadn't read a single fucking comment. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake!

[–]Fishing420 3 points4 points ago

That is an easy explanation that poor fish just ate the motherfucking Chuck Norris of crustaceans. Check mate!

[–]swagbarrera 1 point2 points ago

Your move crustaceanist.

[–]J_Cain 3 points4 points ago

Worst. Case. Of. Crabs.

EVER.

[–]FACE_Ghost 2 points3 points ago

Probably a retarded fish just had butt sex with a retarded crab..

[–]Ionmaster2 18 points19 points ago

Man I wish fish were evolving like that. It would make fishing a lot more like camping. Intents!!!

[–]BOOMBOXNOTATOY 13 points14 points ago

You've been waiting all day for a reason to use that joke.

[–]gmule 5 points6 points ago

i don't believe that vertebrates evolved from arthropods, but that they diverged earlier from a common ancestor, and certainly earlier than that style of claw had evolved anywhere, and that this is probably a crawfish sticking out of the fish's belly. If this is supposed to be a parody of ID type arguments, fine, but shouldn't that be stated? There are lots of people, athiests included, who don't understand how evolution works, so if it's parody, assuming everyone understands is incorrect, and if it's not parody, then it's dishonest.

[–]Polite_Atheist 2 points3 points ago

Is there an /r/wtfatheism ?

[–]InSOmnlaC 2 points3 points ago

Remind me to NEVER FUCKING SWIM AGAIN.

[–]zeroexe43 0 points1 point ago

Fukushima...

[–]endubs 2 points3 points ago

i think that fish might have crabs..

[–]salvu667 2 points3 points ago

The fish ate a crab and the crab poked it's way out?

[–]maddenmadman 2 points3 points ago

Nah, that crab had just been eaten alive and in true crab-fighting spirit, was getting himself out of there!

[–]26asdf 2 points3 points ago

That looks familiar http://i.imgur.com/5vQxV.gif

[–]agedvanilla 2 points3 points ago

Creationist? WHY NOT ZOIDBERG

[–]Blancer 1 point2 points ago

it kinda looks like the fish ate a crab and then the crab poked its claw out..

[–]MemphisH 2 points3 points ago

He has crabs.

[–]chpipes 1 point2 points ago

the day i unsubscribed from r/atheism

[–]Nazwreth 2 points3 points ago

Fsh eats crawdad. Crawdad says NOPE.

[–]kingturtle 7 points8 points ago

i hope you through it back.

[–]jij 71 points72 points ago

Yea, it's best not to mess with fish who are armed.

[–]cjmook21 16 points17 points ago

It may claw its way out of your grip.

[–]harmsc12 12 points13 points ago

Can I add a pinch of pun, too?

[–]ZeroHex 11 points12 points ago

My ad-vise is to avoid pun threads in general, but I think this one makes the cut.

[–]Grindstone50k 13 points14 points ago

Don't be so crabby.

[–]fantafox 3 points4 points ago

Lobster.

[–]harmsc12 9 points10 points ago

We're swimming in possibilities, and that's all you've got?

[–]My_ducks_sick 22 points23 points ago

threw*

[–]kingturtle 7 points8 points ago

holy trapezoid. i could blame Apple's word editor. i mean, i just wrote Holy Crapizoid and it changed it to holy trapezoid. sigh. grrrr. or i could blame my brain. sigh.

[–]jij 15 points16 points ago

Awww, I figured it was a pun regarding the arm being through the fish and responded accordingly...

[–]Goldenelm 5 points6 points ago

The fish ate the crab and now the crab has its claw sticking out of the fish's stomach.

[–]larg3-p3nis 4 points5 points ago

Should post this in WTF for double karma.

[–]Xagon14 -1 points0 points ago

I think the fish ate a crab and it almost got out.

[–]RossMMA1612 1 point2 points ago

with the picture of that fish with another fish in its mouth on /r/WTF this could get you some karma there too dude if you care about that stuff

[–]tkdodo99 0 points1 point ago

Had I not given a look at the subreddit this came from prior to looking at the image, I'd have said it was from r/WTF

[–]The_Humungus 0 points1 point ago

So like - on the real - did this fish eat a crab and in a last ditch effort to say "FUCK YOU" the crab ripped it's claw through the fish's belly?

This pretty much sums you up, if this happened, crab.

[–]Freelancer47 -1 points0 points ago

Fuck creationists. What in Anne Hathaway's Name is that?

[–]guns_of_navarone 2 points3 points ago

Fish ate a crawdad or something like that. Couldn't finish digesting it and tried to shit what you see in the picture out. Caused a... Blockage. Fish probably died of sepsis, or whatever fish sepsis is.

[–]eshoemaker3 0 points1 point ago

I dunno, it looks like some kinda Alien-esque looking crab breakout.

[–]Quizzelbuck -1 points0 points ago

This is what happens when you don't chew your food.

[–]powpow13 1 point2 points ago

undigested claw coming out of the fish's poop chute?

[–]Arthener 0 points1 point ago

Let me guess, your friend is from Fukushima?

[–]FlyingJunkieBaby 1 point2 points ago

I don't think that's a crawfish that killed a fish by clawing through it's stomach. I'm pretty sure that's a fish that died trying to shit out a crawfish.

You aren't looking at it's stomach your looking at its anus.

[–]Herbman42 0 points1 point ago

Smallmouth bass is my favorite fish to catch it bet it was fun to find that combo.

[–]nineteen_eightyfour 0 points1 point ago

Excuse me sir. That fish was put their to taste your faith in God. That is all.

[–]TheBobbyLean 1 point2 points ago

Maybe that fish ate a crab and it's trying to break free

[–]InsaneReptile 0 points1 point ago

That is one badass crustacean

[–]Rainieri 0 points1 point ago

I am never eating live crawdads again.

[–]Robsalberghi 0 points1 point ago

Or a fish that ate a crab and the crab is trying to escape? Just wanted to see if anyone touched on that idea yet

[–]mek23 0 points1 point ago

Clearly the fish ate the crab and it tried to fight its way out of there! semi-win semi fail ... poor crab, and.. fish. ...

[–]druek 1 point2 points ago

That thars the work a tha devil...

[–]shoganaiyo 1 point2 points ago

Clearly that's a pokemon

[–]Ratlettuce 0 points1 point ago

I bet its a german fish....it seems to be a Crout.

Edit: yes i know how Kraut is actually spelled.

[–]CarlitX 0 points1 point ago

eating that crab had to be the worst decision ever xD

[–]Urbanviking1 1 point2 points ago

lol WTF

[–]x7leafcloverx 0 points1 point ago

That must be a red herring...

[–]InVivoVeritas 0 points1 point ago

I think this would actually be a point for creationists. So was the rest of the crab dangling on the other side?

[–]isothien 0 points1 point ago

Food perforation?

[–]Retrostylz -1 points0 points ago

Maybe a craw fish that the fish swallowed whole, and the claw stabbed through the stomach? Just trying to explain it before we jump to the conclusion that it's actually the "missing link".

[–]sickinkentucky 0 points1 point ago

Downvoted to keep you at 666.