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all 158 comments

[–]siamisi 191 points192 points ago

here, have a blue link

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 81 points82 points ago

Aww shit. Even Blue Link was a purple link. I need a new hobby.

[–]Langly- 29 points30 points ago

Try Amnesia it might help.

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 17 points18 points ago

Or sleeping

[–]Langly- 13 points14 points ago

But then you dream of nothing but reposts all night!

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 9 points10 points ago

Just dream about kittens and bacon and the different ways you can combine them

[–]BlarphengarB 8 points9 points ago

So repost's.

[–]Jachard 2 points3 points ago

Kittens with bacon tails?

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 2 points3 points ago

Or going outside

Edit: jk

[–]Rainb0wcrash99 3 points4 points ago

WHAT? KIND OF JOKE IS THIS?

[–]Inconcevable 1 point2 points ago

Huh?

[–]RockFerrit 2 points3 points ago

"The Dark Descent?"

[–]Rainb0wcrash99 5 points6 points ago

[–]InternetExplorer8 1 point2 points ago

Atleast you get links. My webpages never load correctly.

[–]t3hk 3 points4 points ago

I have seen this joke being used more and more nowadays and i still keep falling for it

[–]siamisi 2 points3 points ago

I felt creative when I thought of this joke (by myself). Guess im not special...

[–]darchangel 23 points24 points ago

slow clap

[–]carlsaischa 1 point2 points ago

Grreat.

[–]spage6 1 point2 points ago

Intervention?

[–]Oilburner 46 points47 points ago

[–]freestyle6R 66 points67 points ago

He said blue links, not terrible ones.

[–]KnightBlue 16 points17 points ago

They're not mutually exclusive.

[–]jnd-cz 0 points1 point ago

Too lazy to skip the bad ones?

[–]Langly- 1 point2 points ago

Unless it's all reposts :P

[–]skizmo -1 points0 points ago

How do you know something is a repost ? It's not blue at posting time :)

[–]Langly- 1 point2 points ago

I've seen purple links in new, hell I've seen the same link by 5 different people of a front page item in new. I don't get the logic, hmm lets take whats on the front page and submit it, yeah that should work.

[–]oofnig 0 points1 point ago

Unless it's all reposts :P

[–]darchangel 28 points29 points ago

I just click 'hide' after I'm done with each one

[–]pierenjan 17 points18 points ago

I up/downvote each story I see and I hide all stories I've voted on.

No. Purple. Links. Ever.

[–]WhipIash 3 points4 points ago

But if it wasn't that good, yet you didn't feel like downvoting it.. what the fuck do you do?

[–]VanFailin 4 points5 points ago

Click the "hide" button. Up/down/hide for all the links.

[–]markevens 2 points3 points ago

I do the same thing. I came to the conclusion that if isn't good enough for my upvote, then it gets my downvote. You turn into downvoting roman pretty quick.

[–]WhipIash 0 points1 point ago

Same for comments?

[–]markevens 0 points1 point ago

Na, because you can collapse the comment threads so easy.

[–]pierenjan 0 points1 point ago

Choose :)

[–]KazMux 8 points9 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/TdTLB.jpg

These should be on by default imo.

Makes you vote more =>Better quality links on the front page

And you never see a purple post again.

[–]WhipIash 1 point2 points ago

WAIT! Where did you find that?!

[–]itriedtoquitreddit 0 points1 point ago

In the upper right corner near your username click on "preferences" and tweak away!

[–]expert02 2 points3 points ago

Note that the preferences in reddit has two options:

don't show links after i've liked them (except my own)

don't show links after i've disliked them (except my own)

Note that the "dislike" option doesn't seem to work, so I basically feed reddit upvotes and it spits out new content.

While you're in there, turn on the Reddit Bar. Really handy for getting to the comments on each article (or upvoting it) when you open multiple links at the same time.

[–]Soonerz 2 points3 points ago

Just a heads up, I followed your advice and dislike worked as well

[–]expert02 1 point2 points ago

It just sometimes forgets when you have downvoted an item and it pops back up in the list again.

[–]itriedtoquitreddit 3 points4 points ago

I think a lot of those are just reposts. :(

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

This changes everything!

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 0 points1 point ago

It's time to pay someone a visit...

[–]FaggotFinder 75 points76 points ago

[–]trollsconstantly 24 points25 points ago

HA! jokes on you it was purple for me

[–]Black_Apalachi -1 points0 points ago

You are allowed to post pictures larger than your dick.

[–]yourbuddyjoe 4 points5 points ago

You have definitely come to the right place.

[–]Ninjazanus 25 points26 points ago

How bout you go to r/new and keep this place running.

[–]Lemme_In 5 points6 points ago

Everyone get into the trenches for a better reddit tomorrow!

[–]Tiverty 4 points5 points ago

There should be WWII era propaganda posters for this.

[–]Collards -5 points-4 points ago

Being a Knight of New is hard work, which is why I haven't done it much until today -- when I went in and just started randomly upvoting/downvoting items without actually reading even the headlines. This way, I figure new content (for better or worse) will filter to the front page. It might stink, but there's stinky content on the front all the time. The random approach, as in picking stocks, might work just as well here. ... So I'm now a knight who swings wildly at things on the battlefield.

[–]p3nnywice 1 point2 points ago

I'm guessing you're trolling or just incredibly retarded.

[–]Collards -3 points-2 points ago

Maybe a little of both. ... Still, no more retarded than half the stuff that makes it to the front page. And even a broken troll is right twice a day. So yeah, r/new is my new Minesweeper. [Random click.]

[–]p3nnywice 1 point2 points ago

Suspicion Confirmed

[–]itriedtoquitreddit 1 point2 points ago

It's better to pick a single subreddit that you actually care about and screen new posts there instead of trying to screen all new posts on Reddit, because as you've probably noticed there are too many posts in topical subreddits you know nothing and care nothing about in the general Reddit new posts list.

[–]NotaMethAddict 21 points22 points ago

Achem

Neverending scroll on RES.

[–]cdcformatc 5 points6 points ago

Go to settings and check the don't show links after i've liked/disliked them boxes. It solves 2 problems, you quit being a lurker and actually vote on things, and then you get rewarded with new posts! Warning: The newer posts are more likely to suck as you start scraping the bottom of the barrel.

[–]drachenstern 2 points3 points ago

solution: sub more reddits.

[–]SharkBaitDLS 1 point2 points ago

Until you pass 50 and then you don't see them all on your frontpage anymore.

[–]The_Uncreative 2 points3 points ago

*Each new minute

FTFY

[–]cheesesaurous 0 points1 point ago

Is there actually any way to get blue links if you're using Reddit Enhancement Suite without, you know...reading the article?

[–]itriedtoquitreddit 0 points1 point ago

Change your preferences on Reddit itself (not in RES) to not show posts after you've upvoted or downvoted on them. In your case, you could just downvote everything you weren't interested in and then you wouldn't see it anymore plus you'd be improving the quality of the posts that make it to and stay on the front page.

[–]AyleiDaedra 1 point2 points ago

Then make some.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

Best I can do is a blue arrow.

[–]Langly- 1 point2 points ago

I'll give you one so you have more to give out.

[–]schnibel 4 points5 points ago

I watched "Office Space" for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I'm glad I saw it, otherwise I wouldn't understand this.

Also, it was a good movie.

[–]asstits 3 points4 points ago

Hi I'm new here and I need some information: do people upvote the reference to a funny movie, or do people actually upvote your hilarious fabrication? Thank you for your time.

[–]damnitbobby 15 points16 points ago

Yes.

[–]Headchopperz 1 point2 points ago

2 points 10 minutes ago (1|0)

Wait, how?

[–]Zoccihedron 6 points7 points ago

Because reddit skews votes and RES can't find out what the actual votes are.

[–]Headchopperz 0 points1 point ago

i thought that was just thread votes it skewed, not comment votes

[–]Zoccihedron 0 points1 point ago

I have definitely seen RES give incorrect values and the previous explanations I have seen regarding this have been skewing the votes.

[–]Dillbill 12 points13 points ago

"I'm new here..."

Account is 433 days old, I'm on to you

[–]Erniecrack -1 points0 points ago

Reddit, what's happening...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

There will be a 50% chance that a blue link is a repost

[–]Iamadinocopter 1 point2 points ago

if only they didn't contain the same thing as many purple links hold.

[–]ElRed_ 0 points1 point ago

That's exactly what I'm doing now. I still have the habit of checking Reddit every 30seconds when I'm bored even though everything is purple.

[–]maxminski 0 points1 point ago

Too bad, seems there's no more blue links for me.

[–]DexDark 1 point2 points ago

Go to preferences - scroll down and tick these boxes

don't show links after i've liked them (except my own) don't show links after i've disliked them (except my own)

Now if you run out just click refresh and you got yourself a fresh batch of blue

[–]-Rocksteady 0 points1 point ago

The ratio of purple links to blue is too big

[–]NinjaCupcake 1 point2 points ago

I don't understand why people don't just hide links after they click on them. Makes Redditing so much easier.

[–]Brent1N7 0 points1 point ago

Haha I have hard time laughing out loud while reading Reddit, but just saw this movie and couldn't help but to bust up laughing. Take my upvote

[–]Black-Box 1 point2 points ago

Do people not leave the front page?

[–]Coolbreezy 0 points1 point ago

"If you could go ahead and give me some blue links" = more accuracy to the character...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This is why I have the Reddit Enhancement Suite block posts that start with "How I feel..."

Fucking unfunny as shit.

[–]spacemanspiff30 1 point2 points ago

Go to preferences to and check the boxes that say hide links I've like and hide links I've disliked.

[–]PlNG 0 points1 point ago

Lately reddit seems to have slowed down some.

I guess the summerfags are leaving.

[–]Heh_Heh_Heh 0 points1 point ago

this is not funny and doesn't belong in funny.

[–]duetmasaki 0 points1 point ago

why not /r/zoidberg?

Why not /r/newreddits?

[–]ReasonableDick 0 points1 point ago

There's always http://previouslyonreddit.com for that.

You're welcome.

[–]Senorhip 0 points1 point ago

looks like someone has a case of the mondays!

[–]GrtrShp 0 points1 point ago

I wish there was a option on res to hide all purple links. I reddit pretty fast and can skim through the first 3 front pages in a few minutes

[–]itriedtoquitreddit 1 point2 points ago

Go to your preferences and click the boxes to not show posts after you've upvoted or downvoted them. Vote on every post and when you reach the bottom of the page just refresh instead of clicking through to the next page. Once you get in the habit of voting on everything, the only time you'll see purple links is when something gets reposted.

[–]tzmau5 0 points1 point ago

blue links all turned purple. it's probably a good time to go to bed.

[–]dudeabides87 -1 points0 points ago

zimbabwe you read my damn mind.

[–]Corvus133 0 points1 point ago

A lot of these posts like this or just copies of other posts that say this exact same thing.

I want originality.

[–]altcat1492 0 points1 point ago

I dream of the day- Reddit will be so low on my list of preferable activities that the links will always be blue and I'll never be bored and refreshing the page ever 10 minutes.

[–]tomstockmail 0 points1 point ago

That's why you should various subreddits like /r/JurassicPark or /r/Nexus.

Yes it's a shameless plug.

[–]Irrelevant_Goat 0 points1 point ago

It is fucking CRIMINAL that r/Nexus is not an all-Protoss subreddit. Just sayin'.

[–]tomstockmail 0 points1 point ago

You should look closer...

Tomorrow. After Reddit is back from the presidents IAMA.

[–]Cab000se 0 points1 point ago

Ever think maybe you're spending too much time on reddit? Or not exploring enough of the wonderful subredits? There is much more then just "Front"

[–]ClockStalker 0 points1 point ago

/u/Cab000se: Analyzing 277 comments and submissions over the last 78 days

  • Most active hour: 2-3pm UTC (0.449 posts/hour)
  • Least active hours: 7-11am, 12-1pm UTC (0 posts/hour)
  • Complete hourly breakdown

Hypothesized location: Eastern North America

Ars longa, vita brevis

[–]Cab000se 0 points1 point ago

incorrect hypothesis.

[–]ddog510 0 points1 point ago

Not many people have seen Stranger than Fiction apparently?

[–]mikepixie 1 point2 points ago

How about you head over to /r/all/new/ and hey presto! All blue links.

[–]Rynyl 1 point2 points ago

Okay, so, we complain about there not being enough blue links, and then when there are plenty of blue links, we complain about how many reposts/karma whores there are. The obvious solution is to create more original content, but if we had the time to do that, we wouldn't be on reddit because we would be too busy being semi-productive making OC, and thus, there would be no one to complain about the lack of blue links.

The Reddit Paradox.

[–]stferago 1 point2 points ago

Shouldn't this be on /r/AdviceAnimals? It's basically a meme.

[–]Lilday 0 points1 point ago

THIS IS IT!!! Oh my god I can't tell you how good this feels.

Ever since seeing the dark knight rises a few days after release it has been playing on my mind.

Possible spoilers but not really...

When bane and his cronies go ’mobile’ on the motorcycles they take a hostage. A guy facing backwards on one of the bikes.

I recognized him but couldn't find where from, but this is it! not so much the actual guy but the outfit. Somebody post a screen and you'll see what I mean.

[–]Gary_Kezele 0 points1 point ago

[–]Ojahh 1 point2 points ago

Yeaaaaaah the POTUS is doing an AMA, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the forecast of blue Links is gonna be rather small tonight........

[–]_archer_ 1 point2 points ago

The worst is clicking on the Barack Obama IAMA in a vain hope that it will load. It never does.

[–]signalgrau 0 points1 point ago

As a reddit is fun user I request less blue links.

[–]otherben 0 points1 point ago

OP only had to wait 4 hours for Barack Obama to respond with some OC.

[–]SellinThings 0 points1 point ago

[–]A_Wild_Missingno 1 point2 points ago

In the options, you can set it so every time you vote on a link it is hidden. Then just vote on everything (be prepared to spam the downvote button because there's a lot of stupid shit that you're normally too lazy to downvote though.)

[–]ftp411 0 points1 point ago

And if you could, get a can of pesticide for the spider links, mmk?

[–]markevens 1 point2 points ago

OP, go to the preferences and check the boxes to hide links you have upvoted or downvoted. Make sure you vote on every submission you see.

This solves your problem without having to wade through the cesspit that is /r/new.

[–]TheGreatNico 0 points1 point ago

at the top of the page, hit top, then change the drop down menu from whatever the default is to 'hourly'. It helps the turnover. But the admins even change the algorithm for that, so it's still slower turnover than back in the

OLDTIMES

[–]Slightystoopid 1 point2 points ago

Where's my stapler?!

[–]Slightystoopid 1 point2 points ago

I- I love you for that

[–]Phoequinox 0 points1 point ago

r/funny: Now on blu-ray.

[–]mkensington 0 points1 point ago

What, couldn't wait a full week to repost?

[–]Henstelfs 0 points1 point ago

Fuck I love this

[–]Kinomi 1 point2 points ago

[–]smell_gland 0 points1 point ago

i... i... i.. could burn down reddit...

[–]inb4sexytimes 0 points1 point ago

Some blue links and for the next 20 pages would be nicer.

[–]akallio9000 1 point2 points ago

If you stay in /r/new, the hilarity never ends. You get to slam some spammers, too.

[–]ImActuallyLieing 0 points1 point ago

If you could quit Reposting,

That'd be GREAT.

[–]itriedtoquitreddit 0 points1 point ago

Go to preferences. Change your settings so that posts disappear after you upvote or downvote them. Upvote and downvote every post. When you get to the end of a page, refresh instead of clicking through to the next page and VOILA! the current next 25 top posts will appear. Nothing but blue links forevermofd (well, except for the occasional purple repost).

[–]illumiuiili 0 points1 point ago

[–]Black_Apalachi 0 points1 point ago

No no nooo. Should be "Ya".

"Ya. No. I'm gonna need you to come in on Sunday."

[–]Socky_McPuppet 0 points1 point ago

GO AHEAD AND

[–]REDDIT_HARD_MODE 1 point2 points ago

There's a setting to hide any links you've upvoted or downvoted.

[–]notavalidusername 0 points1 point ago

yeah...if I could get something that hasn't been reposted 50 times already, that'd be great

[–]SackFulloApplez -2 points-1 points ago

I wonder where you can buy a shirt like that?

[–]Dick_Serious -1 points0 points ago

Knights of New be slippin' today.