Dear every man to ever star in a porno... ever;

Strawcrazyman · 8 days

I think porn should come with several audio tracks, so that you can disable or enable each one as you prefer. There would be a male track, a female track, and a narration track provided by Morgan Freeman.

Anaract · 8 days

But how are you going to know how much of a dirty fucking slut ohh yeahh she is, if he doesn't tell you?

shannonjordan94 · 8 days

As a woman, I feel like saying that to the girls.

Relevant NSFW

aem00 · 8 days

what about gay porn? it would be pretty awkward then

Spongebob1255 · 8 days

I feel like Skyler White would have made more of an impression. Fuck it. Upvote.

Kyle_Crafty · 8 days

This picture can apply to the BLATANTLY fake moaning of that ONE girl in the corner.

muhfuhkuh · 8 days

What, you don't wanna hear a deep manly scream of "AWW YEAH DROPPIN' LOADS ON YOUR WET CUNT" while you're fapping? That doesn't turn the crank for you?

sammwwise · 8 days

I have to say it really isn't just a guy or girl thing. It's just these contrived noises that they think they should be making that just come off as repulsive.

Ladies of porn. You don't need to scream to the heavens that you have a dick in you. Just make your natural noises that you would make when you're normally fucking and that's fine.

Guys of porn. Quit sounding so creepy. Girls watch porn too so it's cool if you make noise. Just don't sound so god damn repugnant when you do. You also don't need to talk so much about your big cock or whatever. It's just disturbing.

Porn needs to be more genuine, not so over the top.

Gobsbackwardscopwalk · 8 days

You know, girls watch porn too. I like hearing a dude getting all flustered while he's fucking. I wish the girls would shut the fuck up. Especially the Asian ones, I can't even watch that. "EEEEEE! EEEEE!!"

soojet · 8 days

The only thing worse are the guys who stare into the camera at you...

PJandDuncan · 8 days

The talking I can handle, but for Gods sake man take your socks off!

Shuko · 8 days

How am I supposed to enjoy porn if I don't get to hear the man's voice? :( Straight women like porn too, dammit.

AlisonCreates · 8 days

Porn isn't just for men. If he has to shut up, the dumb broad has to shut her trap too. Annoying as fuck.

TheArgo · 8 days

What if I told you, not just straight men watch porn.

alickstee · 8 days

As a woman, I was hoping this would be something about never, ever grabbing a woman's head while she's preforming oral. I hate seeing it in porn and I really hate it when the guy I'm with attempts it (I realise I do not speak for all women).

SheStillMay · 7 days

As a female: NO

Nummy_Naan · 8 days

Maybe women want to hear the man...? Porn isn't just for you guys, you know.

disemvowel · 7 days

As a female who occasionally watches porn, I think there's too much time spent on blow jobs. I enjoy blow jobs in my real sex life, but watching someone give a blow job does nothing for me.

ms_marlowe · 8 days

i normally agree with that, but james deen makes really sexy noises. not too much, but just enough to make you feel like he's really diggin' it.

sewnangel · 8 days

Well, maybe chicks dig it! Some girls watch porn too, sir.

Chewsti · 7 days

What if I told you,

that girls watch porn to?

goofball_jones · 8 days

I'm currently working on a company that will digitally remove the man from every porno movie. All that we'll leave in is his disembodied penis...which seems to be the only part of the guy that men want to see in a porno.

Don't want to see his face? check

Don't want to hear him? check

Don't want to see his ballsack or the rest of his body? check

From my findings, 99.99% of all men just watch porn for the women, and how they take a penis and then the penis spraying on their faces. That's all they ever want to see. They do NOT want to see a couple having sex at all, they just want to see the woman. But I've also found that 99.99% of these men are idiots as they could easily just watch lesbian and/or woman masturbation porn. No, they don't want that. They want a real, live penis interacting with the women...but ONLY the penis.

Therefore, my company should make millions as it totally gets rid of the entire man except for the one part that every guy wants to see: the man's dick.

Porselein · 8 days

See, again, us women will think the women should put a sock in it and the men should go all out.

TurnUpTheDaft · 8 days

Not to be offensive or anything, but does Daniel Radcliffe have parkinsons or something similiar? Seeing this gif, and thinking back to his performances, Ive noticed his gait sometimes seemed off, and his sort of twitchy head movements.

Hepatat · 8 days

It doesn't help when 90% of the video is a blow job and all you hear is his moans and screams

whypurple · 8 days

I don't like the grunting....it sounds weird. But a good ol fashion "Take it like a dirty bitch" never hurt anybody

greyvangelist · 8 days

But he has to keep asking her if she likes it. By evaluating that every few seconds, he's keeping her best interests in mind.

Sinnocent · 7 days

Says a man...

As a woman, I say: Dear men in porno - MORE! MOAN! MAKE NOISE! Dear women in porno - FFS, STFU!

Billz2me · 8 days

the amount of grain in this gif is too damn high

MFchimichanga · 8 days

I hate when it's getting good then the camera man zooms in in his fucking balls. What. The. Fuck.

BerryBadrenath · 8 days

I don't know what is worse, this, or the camera guy who thinks the money angle us from directly under the guys balls. Who the fuck wants to see that?

dabork · 8 days

I can't be the only one who watches porn on mute with music in the background. I've never seen a "professional" pornstar (male OR female) that didn't ruin the entire thing with their horrid theatrics.

Amateur porn isn't much better because often times they try to IMITATE the shitty acting you find in professional porn.

dirice87 · 8 days

Mr Camera man, I know the actor's huge dong intimidates you, and you're desperately trying to impress/connect/get a reaction out of the girl because you feel inadequate since you'll never fuck her, but please stop talking and dear god don't randomly stick your finger into orifices in the middle of the scene. Its the creepiest shit ever

chamalama · 8 days

Q: So men want to watch other people fucking while they fap, but...want to pretend there is no man part of the hetero act? or they want to pretend it is them and the other mans' voice reminds them they are very, very alone? edit: as a lady, I fap to the sounds of the ocean tides with a lavender candle gently caressing my nasal passages. No other external stimulation required, which is why I'm asking.

suicidedream · 8 days

This is why I mute it even if I am alone in the house.

bunsofcheese · 8 days

Straight porno.

Gay porno...actually, ya, shut up too. Seriously - someone used a line on me in bed that he had clearly heard in a porno and I actually went into a giggle fit.

totally ruined the moment I guess...

MellowMelon · 8 days

Unless it's gay porn... then knock yourself out.

HiImTed · 8 days

No kidding. I also hate when I'm getting there, and then they switch to a view of the guy making his O face. I don't give a fuck about that! In fact, just put a black backdrop in the scene, have the dude dress in all black, and just have his wiener sticking out, making no comments or sounds or moans. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

thediscobison · 7 days

I know the porn dialogue/sounds are ridiculous, but if they made no sound it would be eerie. If I had sex with someone and they made no sound I would just stop and leave, and apologize for wasting their time.

destructormuffin · 7 days

Unless it's a gay porn! In which case keep it comin'!

Rule_32 · 7 days

And half the women...

RobertJ93 · 7 days

Ughjj mmm ughhh ohh yeah. Fuck fuck. Yeah I'm gonna cum. Turn around.

camera zooms on mans face.

helloalicehello · 7 days

This also goes for every woman to ever star in a porno... ever;

funny

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