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1331
1332

More or less exactly what happens when I walk across a bar to talk to a girl (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by iamstandingbehindyou

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[–]D-Ack 265 points266 points ago

You have bizarre mating rituals.

[–]banana_harpoon 60 points61 points ago

Don't knock it until you try it. First you drink a litre of cola, take a dump on the nearest table, then jump over a line of chairs (or young orphans, whichever is closest), then the big finale is playing the womans breasts like bongos to the rhythm of "La Bamba". Works every time.

[–]themindlessone 70 points71 points ago

I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola.

[–]mrhooch 20 points21 points ago

litre o' cola? Do we have litre o' cola?

[–]Dalek-Caan 18 points19 points ago

There's no more cola left right meow.

[–]MynameisInig0 14 points15 points ago

You want me to punchisize your face? For free?

[–]yourpenisinmyhand 5 points6 points ago

I don't know what's happening...

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]professorbumkin 5 points6 points ago

    Shenanigans!

    [–]motorcityvicki 6 points7 points ago

    Fuckin' burger punk.

    [–]hilDESTRUCTION 5 points6 points ago

    It's for a cop.

    [–]NotBatman374 7 points8 points ago

    I can confirm this.

    [–]JDSmith90 20 points21 points ago

    I can confirm you are not batman.

    load more comments (16 replies)

      [–]Squidicidal 1 point2 points ago

      Or you could try drinking a Large Farva instead of that litre of cola.

      [–]Wheniod 0 points1 point ago

      para bailar la bamba?

      [–]rubeusfuckinghagrid 66 points67 points ago

      More or less exactly

      [–]X-Craft 7 points8 points ago

      It means that sometimes, OP literally runs like there's no tomorrow and jump in a line of chairs, trips on them, and flips a couple of times before laying face-down on the ground.

      [–]JustCouldntStayAway 6 points7 points ago

      It makes sense. OP is saying that this, with a varying degree of accuracy (also known as exactitude), is what happens when he walks across a bar to talk to a girl. Presumably the variance is due to individual situations not being identical.

      [–]nonnein 0 points1 point ago

      i don't think this is really what it means. if he said "this is exactly what i do," then we would take that to mean with 100% exactitude, not some arbitrary level of exactitude; that's just the definition. adding the "more or less" to that means that the resemblance of his actions to this is somewhere more or less than 100%, and since something can't be more than 100% identical to something, i pronounce his title silly.

      [–]fuzzygum 0 points1 point ago

      your mom is silly

      [–]fuzzygum 116 points117 points ago

      Stuck the landing like a pro.

      [–]MiskatonicGraduate 162 points163 points ago

      Like a fucking lawn dart.

      [–]InitiallyAnAsshole 5 points6 points ago

      That gave me a good chuckle haha

      [–]smackson 1 point2 points ago

      Relevant

      See 5m01s if impatient.

      [–]MiskatonicGraduate 0 points1 point ago

      Monty Python for the win. Well done sir :)

      [–]slander420 29 points30 points ago

      Holy Shitballs! Did he die? That can't be good for your spine.

      [–]Dr_Rock_Enrol 10 points11 points ago

      I have no idea whether he died or not, at a glance my first thought was decerebrate posture, which is a sign of serious brain damage.

      [–]robreddity 22 points23 points ago

      So is getting a running start and trying to leap an impossibly long row of chairs.

      [–]atlaslugged 11 points12 points ago

      He tripped on a trampoline.

      [–]Ruaric 36 points37 points ago

      He broke his neck and people didn't go help because they thought it was part of the act.

      [–]NotBatman374 22 points23 points ago

      knocked unconscious. he was talking before they made him go to the hospital.

      [–]keloidprocess 15 points16 points ago

      Yeah, that was actually impressive how he was en tête at the every end.

      [–]Good_Housekeeping 12 points13 points ago

      He's dead, Jim.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]BrokenBelief 37 points38 points ago

        I can't tell if I'm less impressed or more impressed that it seems to be intentional.

        [–]terrymr 8 points9 points ago

        I'm not sure exactly what he intended - but it didn't work out. It's from America's Got Talent (really?!)

        [–]richielaw 8 points9 points ago

        I think the guy was trying to perform a dive-roll over the line of chairs. Probably as an interlude to breakdancing/tumbling/parkour-freerunning.

        [–]army_economist 8 points9 points ago

        Look at the way he goes stiff and straight and then rolls over onto his head

        It wasn't a random tumble, he seemed to be directing it so he ended up on his head

        [–]Tallest_Waldo 18 points19 points ago

        As mentioned above, that 'stiff as a board' thing he does is most likely a decerebrate posture, which is a physiological response to being knocked unconscious, and can be indicative of brain or spinal injury.

        [–]Mekroth 26 points27 points ago

        TI-fuckin'-L People actually are looney toons characters when knocked unconcious

        [–]Scaletta467 2 points3 points ago

        Believe me, you can't fake that, no matter how good of an athlete you are. He tripped on a small trampoline, which caused him to tumble-jump, which obviously didn't work out.

        [–]richielaw 0 points1 point ago

        If you read the article it looks like he was unconscious from hitting his head on the chairs. He was trying to leap over the chair via trampoline. Apparently, as he took off from the trampoline it slid underneath his feet, causing him to go head-first into the chairs.

        [–]cl3ver 5 points6 points ago

        The video makes it a little less hazy.

        [–]iswearihavenomoney 3 points4 points ago

        I remember watching this guy a few years ago, and this is after he made it to a further round. In his first performance he did something very similar to tensing up his neck and landing on his head. I'm pretty sure they asked him to make it look like he got hurt to increase ratings.

        [–]Mikhial 2 points3 points ago

        "But this time break your neck right before your landing. It'll be great TV."

        [–]Raff-Raff 10 points11 points ago

        Where is this from? That guy didn't even come close.

        [–]akirachow 15 points16 points ago

        America's Got Talent.

        [–]NotBatman374 60 points61 points ago

        Now its more like "Americas Got A Concussion" AMIRIGHT?!

        [–]Ruaric 19 points20 points ago

        More like "America needs a ambulance "

        [–]_AmberLamps 8 points9 points ago

        You called?

        [–]Taku_Masuko 12 points13 points ago

        0 days? Get outta here.

        [–]_AmberLamps -1 points0 points ago

        Gotta start somewhere! :D

        load more comments (5 replies)

          [–]akirachow 2 points3 points ago

          Yes. Yes, you are right.

          [–]iLubDango 1 point2 points ago

          OH YOU.

          [–]PokeyOats 0 points1 point ago

          snicker

          [–]ThatWhiteRabbit 1 point2 points ago

          yorkie

          [–]PokeyOats 1 point2 points ago

          Poly Waffle

          [–]Secrete_Persona 0 points1 point ago

          Was it intentional, it looked like it was supposed to be a joke on the landing.

          [–]akirachow 0 points1 point ago

          Nah it wasn't intentional. It was a "scary" episode. I remember it.

          [–]rogpog195 0 points1 point ago

          two weeks later AMA I'm the man who attempted eating 8 chairs on America's Got Talent

          [–]akirachow 0 points1 point ago

          As awesome as that would be, it was a long time ago.

          [–]A_Gnarly_Penguin 2 points3 points ago

          The guy was supposed to be a stuntman, called "urban action figure". As akirachow said, this was on America's Got Talent. That was his last appearance -they had to call in an ambulance or something like that afterwards.

          [–]AppleTStudio 7 points8 points ago

          It's just so graceful how he falls flat on his face.

          [–]frozenketchup 19 points20 points ago

          This kills the ego

          [–]SynestheticColour 0 points1 point ago

          happy cake day

          [–]shurdi3 11 points12 points ago

          I know what you mean Bar chairs are so annoying

          [–]Goateater 40 points41 points ago

          I like the bit where he fell over the chair.

          [–]eojhet 44 points45 points ago

          Damn, I totally missed that part.

          [–]joshy1234 10 points11 points ago

          I like the part where he landed on the top of his spine.

          [–]iplaygaem 69 points70 points ago

          What is this, a gif for ants?

          [–]liberals_r_noobs 4 points5 points ago

          So can anyone with medical knowledge explain WTF he stiffened up as he flipped over? Did his brain subconsciously anticipate the lulz factor?

          [–]davidquick 6 points7 points ago

          fencing response

          [–]liberals_r_noobs 0 points1 point ago

          Gracias.

          [–]davidquick 1 point2 points ago

          de nada.

          [–]sqazm 5 points6 points ago

          More like this, IMO.

          [–]Shadowkyzr 3 points4 points ago

          I LOVE this gif.

          [–]hackeysack09 3 points4 points ago

          Was anyone else impressed by the headplant flip?

          [–]Theo93 11 points12 points ago

          sauce?

          [–]tobeson 30 points31 points ago

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eViS8VGZIjU

          [–]Theo93 12 points13 points ago

          did he die

          [–]Bitaemo 28 points29 points ago

          No.

          Source: http://realitytvmagazine.sheknows.com/2007/07/11/ivan-the-urban-action-figure-has-accident-on-america%E2%80%99s-got-talent/

          "Ivan the Urban Action Figure was unconscious for a couple minutes, but he finally came around and appeared to be ok."

          [–]essbeck 19 points20 points ago

          LOL, the urban action figure.

          [–]Theo93 1 point2 points ago

          ahh. Thanks

          [–]cyberfinger 1 point2 points ago

          A for effort.
          F for self-awareness.

          [–]Satashi 2 points3 points ago

          The frame they chose for the picture on that article is gold.

          [–]tgbythn 1 point2 points ago

          What was it that he was trying to do?

          [–]pretty-little-angel 0 points1 point ago

          Host Jerry Springer explained “This was not supposed to happen apparently."

          No, really??

          [–]chunkable 2 points3 points ago

          He died of embarrassment.

          load more comments (4 replies)

            [–]BennyBenasty 5 points6 points ago

            I was seriously watching after he fell to see if he was going to get up and do thriller.

            [–]liberals_r_noobs 1 point2 points ago

            Biggest moment of his life. Yup. It has made him immortal.

            [–]Soronir 0 points1 point ago

            Thanks for the link.

            [–]ZeppelinJ0 1 point2 points ago

            What the fuck else was he supposed to do? He just had a trampoline and a line of chairs, was that his entire act?

            [–]ColumW 0 points1 point ago

            Well considering that there was an intro coming over the speakers, I'm assuming he had a whole act lined up.

            [–]themastersb 1 point2 points ago

            This is really embarrassing so I'm just going to lay here and pretend I'm unconscious.

            [–]jook11 0 points1 point ago

            I was surprised how far down I had to scroll to find the video. Thank you.

            [–]coltaaan 2 points3 points ago

            The Imgur link looks like the sound he probably made when he hit the chairs and fell.

            "fkUfh!!"

            [–]TackyOnBeans 1 point2 points ago

            More like what a drunk girl says to me when I walk across a bar to talk to her

            [–]Destrae 3 points4 points ago

            "He's not dead he's planking"

            Thank you YouTube.

            [–]TremendousPete 2 points3 points ago

            I think the chairs might be causing most of your problems.

            [–]capt_slim 4 points5 points ago

            I'm telling you guys, Eugenics is where it's at

            [–]Squidicidal 0 points1 point ago

            Eugenics really makes the case.

            [–]ThatsSplendid 0 points1 point ago

            Anyone notice how he changed races?

            [–]INeverRedditAtWork 4 points5 points ago

            no i did not. I did notice him hit a bunch of chairs with his face though.

            [–]leex0 2 points3 points ago

            OP: "this is a funny gif but i need a clever title. better make it something self-deprecating and something fellow reddit users can relate to. who cares if it makes no sense?"

            [–]beefyholepat 1 point2 points ago

            Mashed potatoes and gravy?

            [–]shug7272 0 points1 point ago

            That is the most brilliant way to do a headstand ever.

            [–]pgamh 0 points1 point ago

            successful 90degree neck bend!

            [–]creepy_is_what_I_do 0 points1 point ago

            That's why you should drive by the girls outside the bar and lure them into your van instead. Then it goes more like this.

            [–]kornflakesxd 0 points1 point ago

            I can't imagine the pain this guy have felt...

            [–]mrdoink20 0 points1 point ago

            You could try walking instead.

            [–]DrKittyMittens 0 points1 point ago

            That landing was so majestic

            [–]lovelylittlekitty 0 points1 point ago

            Did I just watch someone die? :(

            [–]BargainTuesday 0 points1 point ago

            Ooooohh, nice form but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze.

            [–]INeverRedditAtWork 1 point2 points ago

            WTF is he trying to do.

            [–]applesoss 0 points1 point ago

            Maybe you should try standing in front of her

            [–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

            Was he supposed to do that?

            [–]ShadowofDeathnote 0 points1 point ago

            ooooh nice form but a little rough on the landing....he may have to settle for the bronze

            [–]zombiesatemylife 0 points1 point ago

            Da fuk

            [–]chocolatesloth 0 points1 point ago

            dude, that's what happens whenever I open my mouth or touch a keyboardhlbhjjbk;nlblg

            [–]Conlaeb 0 points1 point ago

            Right before he hits the ground, his entire body is pivoting on his neck. The way his arms lock to his side is a sure sign of concussion if I remember correctly. Hope he was okay!

            [–]Zeeboon 0 points1 point ago

            I'm still amazed by his amazing stiffening skills while flipping over.

            [–]pretzelguy1 0 points1 point ago

            Ah god. This reminds me of something I did once, can't help but cringe. Its in my top 3 fucking awkward times.

            [–]asnof 0 points1 point ago

            Maybe you should not get triples, and drink light beer instead

            [–]redditor-for-2-hours 0 points1 point ago

            Found the video. There's debate over whether or not it was staged for publicity or unintentional, but he was taken to the hospital and didn't perform an act after that.

            [–]divzd 0 points1 point ago

            Any idea what exactly happened? He definitely landed on his head just wondering what the injury was?

            [–]redditor-for-2-hours 0 points1 point ago

            I have no idea. He goes by the name Ivan Urban Action Figure, if you look him up you might find out.

            [–]shamanicspacebum 0 points1 point ago

            An old bull and his son stand upon a hill and look down at a field full of cows.

            Younger Bull, "Dad! Dad! Oh man lets run down there and fuck a cow!!"

            Old Bull, "No son, let's walk down there and fuck them all."

            Not mine but I don't remember where it came from.

            [–]kingcool34 1 point2 points ago

            And...... Plank

            [–]jayjayace 0 points1 point ago

            I love how at the end he does that last flip on his head.

            [–]Allokit 0 points1 point ago

            Apparently, according to Jerry Springer, this was not supposed to happen.

            [–]AugurAuger 1 point2 points ago

            He's fine

            [–]Ginger-Nerd 0 points1 point ago

            I'm Better Than You. Na-na Na-na Boo-boo, Stick Your Head in Doo-doo....... oh shit.

            [–]WombyMatt 0 points1 point ago

            headstaaand, then flop.

            [–]Aberu 1 point2 points ago

            Poor Ivan. Man was a break dancing legend well before this time. Talking 10 years of battle dominance. And now he is reduced to a mere failmeme.

            [–]ConfuciusCubed 1 point2 points ago

            That was a fucking fantastic stunt fall.

            [–]jujulaboo 0 points1 point ago

            Isn't this from SouthPark?

            [–]gigabyte202724 0 points1 point ago

            sauce.

            [–]Goto10 0 points1 point ago

            That ending headstand trick gets me everytime, the showoff.

            [–]mattmccordmattm 0 points1 point ago

            My friend Dave used to tour with this guy, I forget his name now, as a professional break dancer several years ago. When Dave saw this clip, he said that by the way he lands and rolls it had to be planned for him to eat it.

            Edit: ah yes Ivan.

            [–]Tehnormalguy 0 points1 point ago

            you're going to hell for this

            [–]Tman3500 0 points1 point ago

            Please tell me this aired on live tv....

            [–]eldovaking 0 points1 point ago

            The head stand is killing me. lol

            [–]Cry_Havok 0 points1 point ago

            every. damn. time.

            [–]Only_One_Left_Foot 0 points1 point ago

            Judges - "What was the point of all that?"

            [–]joeynana 0 points1 point ago

            This has been posted and reposted a whole heap of bunch of times... And I lmfao every time.

            [–]luckycharms454 -1 points0 points ago

            Haha. He planked. Lawl

            [–]eamantite 0 points1 point ago

            Is that guy.... alive?

            [–]vincentk18 -1 points0 points ago

            How does one be "more exact" or "less exact", exactly?

            [–]bossmcsauce 2 points3 points ago

            you've clearly never done anything with chemistry...

            [–]vincentk18 0 points1 point ago

            Elaborate?

            [–]bossmcsauce 2 points3 points ago

            significant figures. decimal places. all shit that has to do with exactness, or "precision of results". half of chemistry in practice is trying to be as exact as possible.

            [–]vincentk18 0 points1 point ago

            Okay, but that doesn't answer my question :D

            Unless I'm just not getting it, please dont get mad but can you explain?

            Here's what I don't get; The term itself. HOW can something be MORE EXACT?

            That's like saying "more perfect" in my opinion. How does that work?

            [–]bossmcsauce 0 points1 point ago

            just go look up the term "precision" in the dictionary, and it should be pretty clear. nothing is ever 100% exact except for in math. In actual science, everything is correct to a varying degree of exactness. A small degree of error/difference means your samples or data or whatever is more exact, or, "more precise". This does not mean it is "correct", however. That would be called "accuracy". Really, "exact" is just not a good word. Science is all about trying to get multiple results that are extremely similar to draw a conclusion, so it is important to be as exact as possible when carrying out each different step in every trial of an experiment.

            [–]xdestron -1 points0 points ago

            Confused how the title even relates to the picture.

            [–]wholovesbevers -4 points-3 points ago

            Faking injury to save face, well played Ivan.

            Edit: Downvoted for making the same comment in both places? Lame-o.

            [–]_Shin_ 2 points3 points ago

            There's that exact same comment on the video... so either you're nubbyubby, or just a big fat phony!

            [–]wholovesbevers 0 points1 point ago

            One in the same. At least my story is consistent.

            [–]ajbags26 0 points1 point ago

            "more or less exactly" not sure if that makes sense

            [–]schattenteufel 0 points1 point ago

            I thought the same thing. I was somewhat totally confused.

            [–]whatupnig -2 points-1 points ago

            'more o less exactly'... What?

            [–]PenisSizedNipples -2 points-1 points ago

            Try going around the chairs.

            [–]TimeTravelMishap -2 points-1 points ago

            Next time try walking around the chairs.

            [–]whaleDisco 0 points1 point ago

            Holy shit is that guy ok?!

            [–]dansx 0 points1 point ago

            soooo... did he died?

            [–]SgtChancey 0 points1 point ago

            Shure, it's a repost, but it makes me laugh every time I see it. Fuck it, here's an upvote.

            [–][deleted] ago

            [deleted]

            load more comments (4 replies)

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