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top 200 commentsshow all 294

[–]uwehuwai 658 points659 points ago

Well it's not like the fat chick cuffing her could follow her. So I guess the cuffs are neccessary.

[–]yuruku 420 points421 points ago

Now THAT would be an episode of Cops worth watching.

[–]uwehuwai 340 points341 points ago

I would pay money for a show that's just fat people chasing eachother.

[–]donpapillon 223 points224 points ago

Don't give History Channel ideas!

[–]GWARgasm 301 points302 points ago

AMERICAN FATSOS

[–]donpapillon 167 points168 points ago

We already have Pawn Stars for that.

[–]Exavion 119 points120 points ago

Best I can do is Type B.

[–]SG804 27 points28 points ago

How is Chumlee still alive?

[–]sunuv 20 points21 points ago

He gets by on shoe knowledge alone.

[–]frickindeal 11 points12 points ago

And accuracy with firearms.

[–]mewditto 2 points3 points ago

How is he still not fired?

[–]ByronsReward 13 points14 points ago

Alternatively, get an overweight midget couple who has 15 kids, who own a cupcake store while their daughter is in a beauty pageant and they are psychic and put them on The Learning Channel

[–]ByronsReward 10 points11 points ago

also, they are gypsies and everyone who hates the show is racist!

[–]Anynomus 23 points24 points ago

This is the UK..

[–]GWARgasm 67 points68 points ago

TINKY WINKY BOOBY BOBS

[–]Doctor_Loggins 43 points44 points ago

Tubby Chubby Runsy-Funsies!

[–]Ftumsh 4 points5 points ago

You are Charlie Brooker and I claim my £5.

[–]free_dead_puppy 3 points4 points ago

REAL WORLD TELEVISION LINEUP WHY HAS THOU FORSAKEN ME?

[–]GallifreyanRavenclaw 0 points1 point ago

IN YOUR EYES FORSAKEN ME

[–]dr_chinstrap 12 points13 points ago

I prefer watching the Discovery Channel version : US Lard Runners

[–]student86 2 points3 points ago

but the police woman is even bigger

[–]Coffeybeanz 2 points3 points ago

The Biggest Loser wasn't it?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

Redundancy is redundant.

[–]koolkid005 4 points5 points ago

This picture is from the UK...

[–]itsdeuce 1 point2 points ago

Give it a more redneck angle and you, my friend, will go far.

[–]Doctor_Loggins 5 points6 points ago

fat people chased by fat cops

I think that is the redneck angle. When someone says "make it redneck," you just add fat people doing illegal shit and ugly cops.

[–]no_puppets_here 1 point2 points ago

I concur with Chocobubba. Fat doesn't automatically mean redneck. That's more 'trailer trash,' to be honest.

No, if you want the redneck angle, all you gotta do is add some duct tape and remove half of the teeth.

[–]Doctor_Loggins 1 point2 points ago

Oh, the hazards of stereotypes.

[–]IronLung420 1 point2 points ago

With fat people you need cake. They should be robbing a bakery or something.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 24 points25 points ago

No, please give the History Channel ideas. They really need some new ones.

[–]Brodivh 2 points3 points ago

More likely to be on Spike or TruTV.

[–]ryder77 1 point2 points ago

It won't fly unless Hitler is somehow mixed into the show.

[–]MuzzEmil 13 points14 points ago

You know, if you keep this up and actually commit to the account, I will respect you.

But know this, you will never achieve Shitty_Watercolour fame

[–]MuzzEmil 11 points12 points ago

See, thats the dedication Im talking about.

[–]NorthStarTX 0 points1 point ago

Report Lard?

[–]heyyouyeahyou55 7 points8 points ago

that's /r/gaybears for you!

[–]kennerly 5 points6 points ago

I don't know why I clicked that.

[–]RealTimeStrategist 8 points9 points ago

Oh, you know very well.

[–]Exavion 2 points3 points ago

[–]I_am_not_novel 14 points15 points ago

Why the fuck have I still not learned that curiosity is never rewarded on Reddit. One of the top posts on there right now? A furry naked man with a boner.

[–]ermahgerdberbs 9 points10 points ago

In the gay world, there's a subset of people who go fucking bananas over men like that. It's a quite large subset, too.

[–]Exitiabilis 6 points7 points ago

large subset

ISWYDT

[–]herruhlen 0 points1 point ago

The vigorous body hair is the main component of a "bear". So no.

[–]Knight-Solaire 0 points1 point ago

Well if that's the case then i need to go check it out

[–]oneart 0 points1 point ago

I dont know what I thought it was going to be, but, wow.

[–]hankinator 1 point2 points ago

And someone following the fat people with a tuba.

[–]Doctor_Loggins 4 points5 points ago

Tuba players are almost (but not entirely) universally fat themselves - at least in middle and high school band. Of the nine tubists I knew (not counting the ones in other bands or the ones I was only casually acquainted with) eight of them were very big young men. The other was a 5-foot-nothing, hundred pound rail of a girl. One time in marching band she was sitting on the top row of the bleachers with her sousaphone and almost went over the edge.

What I'm trying to say here is, irrelevant tangent.

[–]mormontroll 0 points1 point ago

I play the contra. I'm not fat :(

[–]Doctor_Loggins 0 points1 point ago

Then you're one in a million. Or at least one in nine.

[–]1gnominious 1 point2 points ago

If you really want to feel special calculate it as a function of mass, then they're only one part per ten million, or at least one in a hundred.

[–]unicornosaurusrex 0 points1 point ago

I am a healthy weight tuba player and now I'm worried that I have a very round future.

[–]wintrparkgrl 1 point2 points ago

i was that 120 lb 5 foot girl with a tuba in middleschool XD

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]uwehuwai 0 points1 point ago

That's a fat guy chasing a midget. Close enough, but I need both participants to be fat to be truly entertained.

[–]ffilps 0 points1 point ago

i like that.

[–]jaymd1 0 points1 point ago

Actually wouldn't be much of a chase.

[–]boxcarcar 0 points1 point ago

Preston and Wee-man have already taken this to the next level.

[–]Technicoloured 13 points14 points ago

Never seen the episode of the fat cop chasing a black midget??

[–]CaseyCC 6 points7 points ago

Then the midget started climbing a pole to try and get away. Great episode.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 5 points6 points ago

Then the fat chick ate the pole, so good.

[–]Coffeybeanz 0 points1 point ago

I CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS!

That midget is actually well known for doing shit like that in the area.

[–]Train22nowhere 20 points21 points ago

Fat Cops, Fat Cops, what'cha gunna do, what'cha gunna do when they waddle after you.

[–]Gilgifax 3 points4 points ago

I'd call the show FLOPS. And it'd be glorious.

[–]parksidekilla 6 points7 points ago

[–]sprucenoose 1 point2 points ago

That is sad. They just filmed, laughed and kept calling the cop "nigger" while the suspect ran away. I don't know what the crime in question was, but that is a shame.

[–]NumberOneAsshole 7 points8 points ago

I saw an episode of one of those cops shows recently where a heavier female cop was chasing a dude. He ran for a bit then found himself blocked by a rather high fence so he just sat down and gave up. When the fatty cop got to him she drove her knee into his back and told him that's what he gets for making her run.

I really hate those shows. What is the point? To instill fear in people? Because I refuse to believe anybody could watch those shows and not walk away hating cops.

[–]Druuseph 7 points8 points ago

The intent of those shows is not really about instilling fear as much as it is giving the viewers a subject of ridicule.

'Look at these gross, fat idiots with substance abuse problems and no dental insurance! Don't worry about why they act this way, just revel in the fact that you aren't them and watch the people whose job it is to keep them under control while holding abject disdain and no desire to help them. HILARIOUS!'

[–]JTDeuce 0 points1 point ago

What if it was because of some food robbery? Write. This. Down.

[–]curbstickle 0 points1 point ago

20 minutes of huffing and puffing, and 20 feet later...

[–]netflux 0 points1 point ago

Set to the Benny Hill song.

[–]Dunkelz 0 points1 point ago

I distinctly remember a few episodes of Cops where the cameraman was in much better shape than the officer and was able to keep up with the criminal while the officer lagged behind quite a distance.

[–]DannyInternets 0 points1 point ago

That's not the kind of jiggling I want to see on television.

[–]rockafella7 0 points1 point ago

Fat cops, Fat cops..

[–]karlomac 0 points1 point ago

Wobbly Bobblies

[–]thelastpuf 0 points1 point ago

"We have a suspected on foot, female brown hair, land whale build slowly but surely getting away."

[–]olivermihoff 1 point2 points ago

Would be like a 6 cylinder Dodge minivan chasing a 4 cylinder Ford minivan... ಠ_ಠ

[–]GoP-Demon 0 points1 point ago

I uh... get this?

[–]fuckteachforamerica 0 points1 point ago

I see a low speed chase scene coming.

[–]ch00d 0 points1 point ago

She could still outwalk her.

[–]DIGGYReddit 0 points1 point ago

insert Benny Hill theme.

[–]cansleepfordays -1 points0 points ago

They will be seen here after they are both tired running http://i.imgur.com/UNdnx.jpg

[–]CaptainBruno 0 points1 point ago

That's a really depressing picture. :(

[–]Kerfuffly 190 points191 points ago

She has no points. She's rounded.

[–]PsychoNerd91 38 points39 points ago

You could say, she was very blunt.

[–]gnur 22 points23 points ago

Fat chance she would escape!

[–]greenyellowbird 2 points3 points ago

Or fluffy.

[–]nobitchingatreposts 1 point2 points ago

She's got angles, but they are all obtuse.

[–]AstaraelSCO 0 points1 point ago

"A point in every direction is the same as no point at all" - The Point, used to love that album as a kid...

[–][deleted] 138 points139 points ago

"...But I can roll somewhere muhahahaha!!!"

proceeds to roll on down the parking lot

[–]White_Luigi 127 points128 points ago

"Sonofabitch"

rolls after her

[–]Se7en_Sinner 25 points26 points ago

Bystander witnesses the event, looks at his drink, and proceeds to throw it away

[–]RiPotato 14 points15 points ago

Drink rolls after them.

[–]silent_p 17 points18 points ago

Suspect used Rollout!

It's Super Effective!

[–]fiction8 0 points1 point ago

Megatron fainted

[–]commandodude1265 0 points1 point ago

I read that as Megaton, fitting.

[–]oh_the_humidity 12 points13 points ago

Spry enough to shoplift enough to fill a van, which is what she's being arrested for.

[–]thewhitedragon 1 point2 points ago

And I bet her accomplice man friend had more. Both were a bit chunky.

[–]ffilps 0 points1 point ago

[–]Harold_Grundelson 48 points49 points ago

What if she eats the cuffs?

[–]Stratocaster89 33 points34 points ago

I'd be pretty impressed.

[–]Speculater 5 points6 points ago

What of I told you she shits em out opened?

[–]Legoandsprit 8 points9 points ago

I'd be turnd on.

[–]juma606 13 points14 points ago

Like a goat? Fat people don't have special powers. Fat people don't even have will power.

[–]photoboi 6 points7 points ago

They have the will power to eat?

[–]juma606 4 points5 points ago

That's instinct. It doesn't require will power.

[–]Asyrilliath 1 point2 points ago

I laughed and it slowly turned into a sob as I realised the ending is true. :c

[–]xXWaspXx 6 points7 points ago

I can eat these cuffs

you can't eat those cuffs

[–]chaklong 7 points8 points ago

ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH (while biting cuffs)

[–]jmurphy1989 10 points11 points ago

Not to be a downer, but cuffs are also to stop you fighting (well)

[–]andyface 0 points1 point ago

I don't no many people who suddenly lose the ability to run when they don't have full use of their hands.

[–]jmurphy1989 0 points1 point ago

But you know a few? Interesting.

[–]actorsspace 4 points5 points ago

Full episode video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNHVAypcXG8

Our girl makes her cameo about 7:30.

[–]ablegreen 0 points1 point ago

Bad teeth. Bad teeth everywhere.

[–]spatchbo 1 point2 points ago

You're doing the cats work son.

[–]hezzer 10 points11 points ago

It sounds like an elementary school playground in here.

[–]towel_tosser 2 points3 points ago

Well she started it!

[–]JXDB 7 points8 points ago

I watched this. It was hilarious. I can't remember what it was on though?

[–]Stratocaster89 11 points12 points ago

It was something along the lines of "tricks of the shoplifters" showing some techniques they use, and catching them in the process. Was in york i think

[–]Dr_Oedipus 2 points3 points ago

Yea they had a jeep parked in the car park they were going back and forth depositing their stolen stuff. She denied it was her vehicle and later pulled the keys from her stinky trunks.... yummy.

[–]JXDB 2 points3 points ago

That was it. Thanks. Funny program.

(strange what people will downvote!)

[–]mike3105 0 points1 point ago

Do you know where I can catch up on this program? I was there in the car park as they were filming! We were wondering what was happening.

[–]JXDB 0 points1 point ago

4OD?

[–]Fake9876543210 1 point2 points ago

I wish I could use that excuse.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I hate this website.

[–]doyduhdoh 2 points3 points ago

Mrs. Piggy is thinking "Yeah well I'm fatter so you could probably out waddle me"

[–]siamisi 7 points8 points ago

yeah but the fat chick cuffing her cant run after her

[–]angelsdontburn 3 points4 points ago

Welp, at least she's honest.

[–]NightAria 2 points3 points ago

Because fat women go around ll the time denying they are fat.

[–]chaklong 2 points3 points ago

Honesty is a rare trait these days...

[–]new-socks 3 points4 points ago

Fatness on the other hand...

[–]angelsdontburn 1 point2 points ago

Very true.

[–]ChocoChooChoo -1 points0 points ago

Can I have some fries with those handcuffs?

[–]el_bhm 1 point2 points ago

She's not as fat as a policewoman. Clever cunt.

[–]conjohnpierce 1 point2 points ago

£80 fine, night in the slammer.

[–]fapperinho 0 points1 point ago

She still can roll.

[–]danoll 0 points1 point ago

For a thief, that was a pretty humble thing to say.

[–]bigfig 0 points1 point ago

Cop is bigger than her, she has an even chance of getting away as long as she doesn't need to climb a fence.

[–]Le_This_FTFY 0 points1 point ago

I wish she would have run... hilarity would most definitely have ensued.

I imagine seeing them chasing (waddling) after each other for maybe 30 seconds before they kind of walk slowly after each other after losing stamina, as passerby passes them walking faster as they huff and puff from exhastion.

[–]Enlightnd 1 point2 points ago

Dunno, after watching this, I'm thinking being a bit rounder doesn't impede speed:

TYT Clip

[–]ajw827 0 points1 point ago

I've seen fat people that can book.

[–]kindofawardance 0 points1 point ago

Live Free or Diet Hard.

[–]babiesloveboobies 0 points1 point ago

Watch out guys, if you say "she has a point" in a few weeks all your comments will be from pissed off redditors ready to tear your head off.

[–]I_get_up_again 1 point2 points ago

Jesus, Reddit sure loves the fat jokes.

[–]Knight-Solaire 1 point2 points ago

I feel that fat people are the one thing that Reddit will consistently make fun of

[–]shifty18 0 points1 point ago

actually she doesnt have a point as she is perfectly round

[–]TotalSHIT 0 points1 point ago

I'd say she has more of a blob than a point.

[–]dudeface_man 0 points1 point ago

When I was fat, I used to beat all of my friends in 100m sprint races and swimming races.

Never underestimate a fat cunt.

[–]SoobNauce 0 points1 point ago

wait

how do handcuffs prevent you from running

[–]markolo25 0 points1 point ago

dammit I read it as "She has a joint" T_T

[–]zzzpoohzzz 0 points1 point ago

i found this even hilarious when i read it in the most bland matter of factl way possible.

[–]stvdallas 1 point2 points ago

Replace fat with gay, and Reddit would be up in arms.

[–]Moos_Mumsy 0 points1 point ago

I don't know. Judging by the size of the cop I think they are pretty evenly matched. It may be a slow race, but a race none the less.

[–]Alexiel17 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me, the moment of the picture or you can see the suffering in her face?

[–]DiaDeLosMuertos 0 points1 point ago

Nice try fat people. I saw that guy doing the roundhouse kick. I know what y'all are capable of.

[–]ColoBB 0 points1 point ago

she has a fat point....i mean a big point

[–]Ratmotored57 0 points1 point ago

Ya but which one is saying it?

[–]RPrevolution 0 points1 point ago

Is that a construction worker acting like a cop?

[–]sharksfan93 0 points1 point ago

She can still run it's just much slower

[–]criticalnegation 0 points1 point ago

which?

[–]mamahamster 0 points1 point ago

The truth shall set you free

[–]Nickk_Jones 0 points1 point ago

So is the authority figure bitch though, so they're even!

[–]nmurph 0 points1 point ago

Yep.. that's Ireland for you.

[–]AxiomQuibble 0 points1 point ago

And the cops aren't fat?

[–]mcqtom 0 points1 point ago

Didn't read the title thoroughly. Didn't look closely at the image. Thought she was Ricky Gervais.

[–]magicman419 0 points1 point ago

Please please be a video of this on youtube

[–]TheExcellence 0 points1 point ago

Damn, that's actually really depressing. Jeez.

[–]uncle_monkles 0 points1 point ago

Oh.my.god. You guys actually made Me Speechless there. She's actually a really good copper. Don't judge a book by its cover. Now go back to your bitching!

[–]Kendown 0 points1 point ago

Which one said that?

[–]chipripley 1 point2 points ago

They should

-Puts on sunglasses

Hog tie her.

[–]MSDolloff27 1 point2 points ago

Maybe she SHOULD run somewhere.

[–]ReyTheRed -2 points-1 points ago

The arresting officer is also fat. So they're on equal footing there.

[–]emperorpotatoketchup 5 points6 points ago

their poor feet

[–]CactusJacktus -1 points0 points ago

Y'all bunch of funny cunts, like you're all fucking supreme specimens.

[–]Space_Ninja 3 points4 points ago

I'm in good shape. Can I still poke fun?

[–]QueueNX 2 points3 points ago

yep. I eat healthful and don't smoke. I still give shit to smokers.

[–]universl 1 point2 points ago

Yep, that's rule alright. You can throw stones as long as you didn't do exactly what the guilty person did.

[–]kashodi 0 points1 point ago

The only supreme I am, is nacho!

[–]TimeFcuk 1 point2 points ago

Neither can run... I wish all cops were that fat.

[–]nepidae 1 point2 points ago

Haha, fat people are funny. Lets laugh.

[–]uwehuwai 1 point2 points ago

Yes they are. You know they are.

[–]donttellme -1 points0 points ago

From a Channel 4 documentary called Coppers, if anyone wondered.

[–]Raqn 1 point2 points ago

It was 'Secrets of the shoplifters'

[–]JXDB 1 point2 points ago

You're right, it was this not Secrets of shoplifters...

[–]dothecreepuhh 1 point2 points ago

It was definitely Secrets of the shoplifters, if you google the quote you can see a lot of tweets about it from the time the show was on.

[–]thecircusdweller 1 point2 points ago

Wait I can't tell If you're serious. Come on, just be honest....*paranoid parrot

[–]walgman -2 points-1 points ago

There was a time when you had to be a certain height to join the police. It's clearly gone so far down the politically correct line that they employ officers who can't even run!