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all 38 comments

[–]PlayMyDoh 7 points8 points ago

Batman always keeps a spare pimp slap in his utility belt

[–]Bumrape 6 points7 points ago

I know reddit loves Batman, but he has no fucking superpowers. Superman would beat the shit out of him.

[–]bobrossisgod 2 points3 points ago

I think the fact that batman has no powers and still manages to Fuck bitches up on the regular makes him a superior hero. take away superman's abilities and he is just a guy

[–]UZUMATI-JAMESON 0 points1 point ago

Same thing if you were to take away Bruce Wayne's money though.

[–]Narnian_Factor 1 point2 points ago

Apparently you haven't seen The Dark Knight Rises yet.

[–]UZUMATI-JAMESON 0 points1 point ago

Okay I should say of he didn't have his money or the cool toys and gadgets then he wouldn't be much.

[–]Narnian_Factor 0 points1 point ago

You obviously haven't read Batman: Year One.

[–]UZUMATI-JAMESON 0 points1 point ago

No, I haven't

[–]Narnian_Factor 0 points1 point ago

Well if you would have you would have seen that Batman is still really badass without his gadgets and he is extremely intelligent.

[–]Missing_Username 0 points1 point ago

Are you saying that if you took away Batman's money, he'd be as worthless in a fight as Superman without his powers? 'Cause that's just laughable.

[–]UZUMATI-JAMESON 0 points1 point ago

If batman didn't have his gadgets or anything it would be much harder for him.

[–]Missing_Username 0 points1 point ago

He'd still be at peak human fitness and an expert in just about every form of martial arts and CQC.

Superman, even if de-powered to only the same peak human fitness level, has no understanding of how to fight appropriately in a situation where suddenly it hurts to punch things and his bones can break.

[–]UZUMATI-JAMESON 0 points1 point ago

Really, you think so? Of course batman would still kick ass, but I would think superman would know how to fight too.

[–]Missing_Username 0 points1 point ago

Superman's knowledge of fighting though relies heavily on his powers. His experience is built on being able to fly, move at near-instant speed, lift tons, disregard 99% of incoming non-Kryptonite/Magic hits, perform heat vision/cold breath, etc. His methods of combat are tied to these abilities. He doesn't have experience in combat with 'human' limitations.

Batman has gadgets that make his life easier, but his training and capabilities aren't reliant on them.

[–]UZUMATI-JAMESON 1 point2 points ago

Hmm, maybe your right. I like batman, but superman is my favorite.

[–]RaoulDuke92 0 points1 point ago

Can batman shoot lasers out of his eyes? No. Your argument is invalid...

[–]Momordicas 4 points5 points ago

He has money and Alfred. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?

[–]cynicalonepoint2 1 point2 points ago

I would like to refer you to The Dark Knight Returns Book 4: The Dark Knight Falls, where Batman hands Superman his ass. And yes, this is quite possibly the nerdiest thing I've ever typed. Top 5 at least.

[–]djspawn00 0 points1 point ago

can you just tell me what happened... so that I don't have to read. me lazy

[–]cynicalonepoint2 1 point2 points ago

SPOILERS : Graphic novel were a 50 year old Batman comes out of retirement, pisses off the government who tell Superman to rein him in, Batman uses his intellect and some kryptonite to beat Superman down, let's Superman know he could have finished him off if he wanted, then fakes his own death. Great comic by Frank Miller.

Edited spelling.

[–]djspawn00 1 point2 points ago

Thanks, this sounds awesome.

[–]Sockpockets 1 point2 points ago

Mind over body?

[–]mostwantedcrazy 2 points3 points ago

Batman has whooped Superman's ass ...Twice

[–]Missing_Username 0 points1 point ago

I only wish there was real video of Bale doing that commentary.

[–]Narnian_Factor 0 points1 point ago

I know :/

[–]WeldingMouse 2 points3 points ago

Imagine the horror of finding a super-pube in your sandwich.

[–]gravehunterzero 1 point2 points ago

Batman would then put powdered Kryptonite in Superman's shampoo.

[–]mariamus 2 points3 points ago

Why is his cape flowing in the wind? He's indoors.

[–]MalaclypsetheMystic 2 points3 points ago

Perhaps he has just come to a stop. Superman can move really fast.

[–]muddlethis 0 points1 point ago

Alien being, Able to fly, Virtually invincible...

And you're worrying about the physics of his cape?

[–]mariamus 1 point2 points ago

Yes, it worries me. Superman is a near invincible alien who saves humanity... but his cape... His cape is evil.

[–]wolf_thing 1 point2 points ago

Just like the windshield wipers on KITT from Knight Rider.

It didn't come up much in the show.

[–]ryder77 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he was too focused on not getting slapped that he ended up getting it caught in an appliance.

[–]bobrossisgod 0 points1 point ago

[–]mnmatt500 0 points1 point ago

The speech bubble has a penis and balls...

[–]capt_slim 0 points1 point ago

Well he does fly in a ballerina pose...

[–]real00hammer7 0 points1 point ago

Superman is a bitch. Batman will fuck him in the ass with a kryptonite dildo. My least favorite superhero. I can't fucking stand superman.