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632
633

Thigh Strength (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by CourtOfMiracles

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[–]sexi_squidward 174 points175 points ago

When I worked in Sam's Club one lovely Black Friday, these 3 women walk in. The oldest had to be in her 30s-40s and the other two in their 20's. One had a baby in a stroller. It's the crack of dawn and they have a bunch of empty JCPenny bags, already open, in their shopping cart.

Oh...I wonder why you already have these all opened up before you buy anything? (It's partially understandable for people to bring in bags to Sam's Club because they don't supply bags, only boxes, but you wouldn't have them all ready to put things in until your leaving and you check out.)

We had a secret shopper in the store keeping an eye out on people and saw these people stuffing things into the bags, DVDs and what not. The manager was watching in the control room as well.

As they started to try to leave the manager has them escorted to his office when the oldest lady takes off back to the exit. One of the guys from the tire department stops her and she shouts:

"I HAVE ASTHMA. I NEED AIR!"

and he just goes, "Why you running??"

By then security caught up with her and they were all arrested lol

[–]Doctor_Qui 94 points95 points ago

Moved the "Black" over 2 words in my mind at the beginning...unintentional racism :(

[–]sexi_squidward 58 points59 points ago

don't feel bad...when I was posting it I was going to mention that the 3 ladies were black and then I wrote african-american...but then it didn't seem important.

They were still bitches, so color doesn't matter...I remember cracking up over the "I HAVE ASTHMA!" and then "Why you running??"

lmfao

[–]corpsefireNL 14 points15 points ago

I'd just like to point out that not all black people are african-american. You can say black, it's descriptive and not racist, you wouldn't get upset if someone called you white instead of anglo-american, would you?

[–]YawnSpawner 32 points33 points ago

I've never understood that. People get upset over the word negro, but you know how they say black in Spanish? Negro.

This ad brought to you by the Mitt Romney Campaign for Bringing Back Negro in America.

[–]shibblywibbly 7 points8 points ago

Seriously. And how bout porch monkey? That slur is just adorable.

[–]sexi_squidward 7 points8 points ago

I just needed to link this

[–]Lazerus42 -1 points0 points ago

oooh, I love porch monkeys. Almost as much as I like Pecker Woods

*while searching for adorable slurs... I found this site

** Tater Tot (irish kid) :-)

[–]Enlightened_Mayfly 1 point2 points ago

Patel has nothing to do with pal. It is a cast of traders. Hence it came to the US to trade and own all the shops/motels/etc. Otherwise an enlightening read.

[–]sfurules 1 point2 points ago

so brave

[–]GiantWindmill 1 point2 points ago

We're all African, silly.

[–]Doctor_Qui 3 points4 points ago

Haha, thanks, yep, there are enough crazy people of every color to go around. At least, at best, they are good for a laugh.

[–]ponto1 3 points4 points ago

she could crush my penis head with her thunder thighs while my cumballs desperately try to pump juice through the rod as a result of all the stimulus she is able to provide

[–]CrusaderIII 2 points3 points ago

Horny Darius strikes again

[–]moderatemormon 1 point2 points ago

This is hilarious.

I always get a sick kick out of your posts in /r/leagueoflegends and always assumed you were kind of a novelty account.

I got as far as cumballs and had to look at the username. Sure enough it was you. Had no idea you corrupted other subreddits too!

[–]Nickbou 1 point2 points ago

I'm white, and pictured white women. This must mean

(A) I've conquered racism

(B) I'm one of those self-hating whites

(C) My instincts are terrible

[–]tora22 2 points3 points ago

(D) All of the above.

[–]froglegsoup 0 points1 point ago

I pictured them Indian, but I was primed. I also pictured the poster as an Indian, and everyone in this thread. In retrospect, that really makes zero sense.

[–]tacojohn48 1 point2 points ago

Indian, feather or dot?

[–]froglegsoup 0 points1 point ago

Lol, Indian like the gif OP posted.

[–]meh100 1 point2 points ago

Good for you.

[–]snowboy437 12 points13 points ago

I didn't even realize this wasn't about 3 black women until I read your comment...

[–]verymuchn0 2 points3 points ago

jokes on you..

don't feel bad...when I was posting it I was going to mention that the 3 ladies were black and then I wrote african-american...but then it didn't seem important.

[–]sexi_squidward 0 points1 point ago

and that's the way it should be!

[–]dragn99 16 points17 points ago

So, it's either "Sam's Club black one," or "These black 3 women."

NEITHER OF THOSE MAKE SENSE

[–]Oraln 11 points12 points ago

Unless you aren't counting the numeral as a word.

[–]professorbumkin 8 points9 points ago

Checkmate

[–]dragn99 4 points5 points ago

The numeral 3 is just a representation of the word "three." In my opinion, it counts.

[–]MagnusExcelsior 1 point2 points ago

Me too.

[–]mrsushisushi 0 points1 point ago

oh god.... I did it too

[–]mbakerphoto 0 points1 point ago

I read it as "3 lovely black ladies" that's not racist, right?

[–]kiramonster 0 points1 point ago

...thought they were black. Read wrong.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Max45a -1 points0 points ago

Dumbass, nobody ever said they were, so stop being a racist prick.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Max45a 1 point2 points ago

Racism: Prejudice or discrimination directed against someone of a different race based on such a belief.

Please go learn it before you end up looking like an idiot.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Max45a 0 points1 point ago

Dumbass, it's what it was implying in the first place, you blind fuck

[–]Wazowski 63 points64 points ago

She must have seen The Prestige.

[–]Blueberry_H3AD 7 points8 points ago

Ah but the key is to always be in character.

[–]froglegsoup 0 points1 point ago

This is what I thought. Way to go guys. This is what I love about Reddit. None of us have lives, so we all see the same obscure movies.

[–]wag_the_dog 2 points3 points ago

the prestige isn't an obscure movie, c'mon it has hugh jackman and christian bale, how could it be obscure?

[–]froglegsoup 0 points1 point ago

Its not that main stream, either. MASH had Donald Sutherland, not everyone here has seen that.

[–]wag_the_dog 0 points1 point ago

Mash was made in the 70's/ early 80's, it's unrealistic to expect it to be well known, whereas the prestige was made in 06

[–]froglegsoup 0 points1 point ago

Its true, I did use a particularly bad example. I guess I'm surprised when people have seen the presitge. Not a lot of people I know have seen it.

[–]wag_the_dog 0 points1 point ago

Fair enough, they don't know what they're missing anyway

[–]load_more_comets 34 points35 points ago

She probably has a sling and harness.

[–]ZEFninja 24 points25 points ago

Is that a new slang term for a vacuous snatch?

[–]artful_wench 10 points11 points ago

A pox on your logic!

[–]GraveDigger1337 22 points23 points ago

This is from a movie, for proof go read the other 20 submissions of this gif

[–]deja-vu-comment 183 points184 points ago

I haven't seen something that big disappear in to a dress since my last date

[–]lewistheplayer 64 points65 points ago

original thread

Your deje-vu, good to see your keeping to your name sake.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

I believe TrappedinReddit did the same thing, took top comments from old posts and put them into the reposts to get the maximum karma.

[–]ArcticEngineer 3 points4 points ago

You guys all wooshed on his/her account name.

[–]matari 1 point2 points ago

thank you Karma Police

[–]PennXylo 6 points7 points ago

This is what you get, when you mess with us.

[–]lewistheplayer -1 points0 points ago

If I'm going to sent so much time here I might as well get a title for my effort.

[–]SupermanV2 51 points52 points ago

Heyooo!

[–]lydocia 77 points78 points ago

No, seriously. She was a kleptomaniac who took the table we were having dinner from.

[–]PMacLCA -1 points0 points ago

As the table, I can confirm this.

[–]Animal-Crackers 9 points10 points ago

It's actually not being held by her thighs. People that shoplift professionally in grocery stores tend to have a net of sorts built between their legs. It's more or less a hammock and allows them to take much large items without too much notice.

[–]jcroucher56 6 points7 points ago

I used to be a LOSS PREVENTION "Detective" and what they do here is put a sling between their legs like a hammock. Bada bing bada boom you got yourself a crotch caper.

EDIT: The Internet is no place for mistakes.

[–]Miekzor 0 points1 point ago

I see what you did there.

[–]andres7832 -1 points0 points ago

deja-twist: deja-vu was the one wearing the dress...

[–]capt_0bvious 0 points1 point ago

your last date disappear into your dress? I don't get it

[–]SEGnosis 67 points68 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Now you see it, now you don't (x-post) 3coms 3pts 1mo funny
Where the hell did that go? 767coms 1295pts 2mos funny
And you say David Blaine is good. 8coms 46pts 3mos funny
This is genius O_O 13coms 27pts 4mos WTF
Sneak lvl 100 73coms 489pts 7mos WTF
Thieft Level: Asian 47coms 146pts 8mos funny
Down and dirty like a pro. 205coms 1068pts 8mos gifs
Woman has a large snatch. 2coms 20pts 4mos gifs

source: karmadecay

[–]Magoo2 7 points8 points ago

Someone really dropped the ball 5 and 6 months ago...

[–]duderock -3 points-2 points ago

Mine was 3 months ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]duderock 1 point2 points ago

What? Yeah I admit I reposted it 3 months ago... Sorry?

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 5 points6 points ago

She's been known to severely injure her prey and then crush their skulls in between her legs once satisfied with them

[–]madcow1408 2 points3 points ago

Dat gap.

[–]mcfuzzum 3 points4 points ago

I used to work at Macy's quite some years ago. We had a well-respected-looking lady come in to look at some jewelry and considering her overall look was quite respectable, the guy behind the counter didn't mind letting her try some of the rings (which is really normal procedure).

Lady tries one, tries another then on the third she just bolts the fuck out towards the exit. She happens to be running towards one of my coworkers who sees this and as she nears him going full speed - he just points to the wall and goes "EXIT IS THAT WAY - YOU GO GIRL" --- and of course she follows where he points and body plants herself, fulls speed, into the wall.

We also had a father-daughter team try to do the good ol' snatch-n-run; too bad the daughter got tackled football style; the father stopped for a moment, then shrugged and kept on running. Kid must have been 12-13 at most...

[–]bman49er 2 points3 points ago

This exact thing happens more than you would think. I worked in a grocery store for 4 and a half years and would see stuff like this all the time. My manager told me a story about one very large woman that waddled into the store and had attempted to this very thing with a small turkey. She had even been wearing a second pair of panties to place the turkey and help hold it up under her long skirt. No one suspected anything because she was fairly large and it's common to see large people waddle around (in the south). However, she didn't make it very far away from the register before the turkey flopped out.

[–]vidlee 1 point2 points ago

Well? Did she make off with the turkey? Or did your manager replace the turkey on the shelf and have an unsuspecting customer get their hands on a turkey that was used as a crotch cooler for a large woman?

[–]bman49er 0 points1 point ago

She didn't make off with the turkey. It fell out before she got out of the store. The turkey was probably thrown out. Like I said, you'd be surprised where people will stick stuff just to steal it. And where I lived they would often steal it for drugs. That's right. Apparently the dealers in town would take steaks for drugs. Crazy right?

[–]munge_me_not 3 points4 points ago

There's a strap that wraps around her shoulders and goes down to her knees.

[–]a_lad_insane 13 points14 points ago

Wow. She earned those.

[–]Hrodrik 22 points23 points ago

No, she didn't. People who work their asses of to pay them earn those. I have 0 respect for thieves.

[–]IAMAHIPO_ocolor 9 points10 points ago

You never truly hate thievery until you have your bike stolen.

[–]meh100 -5 points-4 points ago

Yeah, because she probably doesn't work her ass off. The degree of your faith in the market is disturbing.

[–]Hrodrik 0 points1 point ago

Faith in the market? I hate the corporate thieves too. If she works her ass off and doesn't get enough money to buy that, maybe the fault lies on the rich bastards and their low wages but that's no excuse to steal.

[–]meh100 -1 points0 points ago

I believe that how much blame a thief has is proportional to how much blame can be attributed to them versus external forces. For that reason, I don't make absolutist statements like "I have 0 respect for thieves." It excessively dehumanizes thieves and warps our grasp on reality.

[–]EvOllj 2 points3 points ago

I once saw a video of a group of 4 where 3 made a distracting demonstration while a woman stole a whole frozen chicken in her vagina. They filmed that in detail.

[–]Trey-fantastico 2 points3 points ago

she must have a vagina like a vice grip.

[–]MrMoustachio 1 point2 points ago

Thanks, Tosh from 2 years ago!

[–]ph33randloathing 1 point2 points ago

I have the weirdest boner right now.

[–]dfhawks3 1 point2 points ago

The mother of all reposts.

[–]jrockwell1222 5 points6 points ago

More like repost strength.

[–]lukearts -4 points-3 points ago

CTRL+F REPOST, couldn't believe that it was right at the bottom.

[–]callate 0 points1 point ago

What did she steal?

[–]somestrangewashers 1 point2 points ago

A package of bottled water

[–]callate 2 points3 points ago

I thought it was like Ramen or something lighter.

[–]Bigmada 7 points8 points ago

Every time I see this I thought it was a case of beer.

[–]Bluelightsaber2 3 points4 points ago

I think her vag is a black hole

[–]novahokie 1 point2 points ago

A woman in front of me in line at the grocery store once did something similar. She was fairly large wearing a baggy dress and when she moved up to get checked out an Easter Ham fell out from under her dress. She quickly turned and said "Girl I know you did not just fro dat ham at me".

She checked out and left with no further incident.

[–]lcd1023 1 point2 points ago

I wish I had that power!

[–]prettymuchdrunk 0 points1 point ago

Xenia Onatopp?!

[–]ParaChizzy -1 points0 points ago

Every damn time I see this gif, I wonder if she already had a watermelon hidden.

[–]ginger007 0 points1 point ago

That bitch just steal a pallet of Jumex?

[–]InsertDiscSeven 0 points1 point ago

She could be wearing some kind of harness to carry the weight.. why are we assuming it's thigh strength?

[–]lucidlinux 1 point2 points ago

So old it hurts

[–]rossiFan 0 points1 point ago

I think she practiced that. Over and over.

[–]xdzgor 0 points1 point ago

I want some o' that.

[–]fondupot 0 points1 point ago

Anybody else make a suction sound as soon as it went under the dress?

[–]lost_strider 0 points1 point ago

At first I thought those were eggs. ಠ_ಠ

[–]irishpapi 0 points1 point ago

This is nothing compared to the "large" woman that stole a lcd tv using the same method. She made it all the way to her car with it between her legs

[–]tronn4 0 points1 point ago

Xenia Onatopp

[–]UltraChilly 0 points1 point ago

reminds me of that episode of south park with paris hilton

[–]thedudeabides- 0 points1 point ago

I guess this is a common way of stealing in some places. They have a strap harness type thing that hangs down which they set it in

[–]IAmAnObvioustrollAMA 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else reminded of... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez8wH827Dog&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[–]Hotfuss69 0 points1 point ago

Definatly watched it 3 times before I saw what she did

[–]opiv 1 point2 points ago

Seen this way too much

[–]GasCapBlowjob 0 points1 point ago

Sookie finally found her challenger.

[–]dontuknow_sosickofu 0 points1 point ago

I was wondering how Snookie took her kid to full term without accidentally queefing the fetus out on the floor.

[–]CarbonGod 0 points1 point ago

Cunt hook. Nuf said.

[–]whollyme 1 point2 points ago

Played backwards This is a woman giving birth to a crate of beer!

[–]MeGustaTortugas 0 points1 point ago

I was expecting this

[–]simonlee93 0 points1 point ago

Let her have them, seriously. If anyone else can do that, let em have whatevers between their legs too. they deserve it!

[–]SonVolt 0 points1 point ago

She has a sling under her dress. She is not holding it with her thighs.

[–]gregsapopin 0 points1 point ago

I can't believe she could fit that case into her vagina!

[–]hansbritzohno 0 points1 point ago

So that's how you do the goldfish trick

[–]Moown 0 points1 point ago

So that isn't a fisbowl

[–]ruby1540 0 points1 point ago

I think her vag is a black hole.

[–]tablehop99 0 points1 point ago

I thought it was like Ramen or something lighter.

[–]LessieHippopotamus 1 point2 points ago

We need to cool it with all of the reposts.

[–]mastersailor 0 points1 point ago

this was on tosh.0. just go home

[–]ItzSkwert 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if there are any bats in there, hmmmm

[–]cahman -1 points0 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Now you see it, now you don't (x-post) 3coms 3pts 1mo funny
Where the hell did that go? 767coms 1295pts 2mos funny
And you say David Blaine is good. 8coms 46pts 3mos funny
This is genius O_O 13coms 27pts 4mos WTF
Sneak lvl 100 73coms 489pts 7mos WTF
Thieft Level: Asian 47coms 146pts 8mos funny
Down and dirty like a pro. 205coms 1068pts 8mos gifs
Woman has a large snatch. 2coms 20pts 4mos gifs

source: karmadecay

[–]SirBinks 0 points1 point ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/yyie5/thigh_strength/c5zyqtf

source: the top of this friggin thread

[–]Malex_Wolf -2 points-1 points ago

Ugh, you sound so smug...

[–]primer343 0 points1 point ago

Shit, I'd let her keep it

[–]Spiritjump -1 points0 points ago

Nice repost, OP. Enjoy your karma.

[–]JGPliskin 0 points1 point ago

Ahhhh, this gif again.

[–]thetruthteller 0 points1 point ago

never seen it before, broseph

[–]Readmynameandchillax -2 points-1 points ago

What else has she got up there?

[–]kliks -1 points0 points ago

Fuck... they are just hungry... stealing eggs... fuck... give them 10 more cartons of egg...

[–]dragn99 1 point2 points ago

That was a case of bottled water.

[–]kliks 0 points1 point ago

Dammnn, they are poorer than I thought. Give them some water for Chrits's sake!

[–]dragn99 1 point2 points ago

Water comes from the tap though...

[–]NSsteezia 0 points1 point ago

Water does not come from the tap in india..brown sludge comes from the tap

[–]dragn99 -1 points0 points ago

You do realize people from India can live in other countries, right? There's tons of them in my town, and according to the security guards at my work, they steal shit more than any other ethnicity.

(Seriously, not me being racist. Security has to stop Indians more than any other group of people, they complain about it daily.)

[–]ichibandesu 0 points1 point ago

I understand that it's her thighs that are holding that... But the first time I saw that, I was certain her vagina ate it: NO WAY she can walk normal while holding THAT between her thighs!

[–]Animal-Crackers 1 point2 points ago

Not her thighs, there is more than likely a hammock of sorts under the dress. I've had to deal with these people in my store before. One ladies' hammock broke and a turkey fell from under her dress whilst walking past a large group of us employees. Good times.

[–]ichibandesu 1 point2 points ago

Yeah... But the noticeable weight difference would make your body just a tad bit stiff. She's just like IDGAF and strolls out of there..

And no kidding? A WHOLE turkey? Wow. Just... Wow. People astound me.

[–]Bigmada 0 points1 point ago

That makes so much sense now.

[–]yundot 0 points1 point ago

First off I'm not saying stealing is good by any means. However, if she's that talented and she's going to steal anyway why steal a pallet of water? That's about as low as you can go as far as profit per difficulty goes. If its really because she can't afford it then steal meat and buy the water.

[–]dragn99 0 points1 point ago

Bring the bottles back to get the deposit on them? Still not a very good profit, but at least she can get a bit of guaranteed cash from it.

[–]l30 -2 points-1 points ago

Kegel exercises, now for more than just tightening up your old, weathered vagina.

[–]cahman -2 points-1 points ago

http://karmadecay.com/http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FdSgvM.gif

sorry

[–]ObsidianNoxid -1 points0 points ago

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3qn8wp/

[–]supernovadebris 0 points1 point ago

couple years old.....

[–]radtat1001 -1 points0 points ago

bitch got skills!

[–]fiercepenguin -2 points-1 points ago

Was anyone else expecting to see her?

[–]TheLemix 0 points1 point ago

I just thought i should point out even tho this ismfrom a film it is also very possible and is a know trick. She basically has a hook under her dress that allows hey to steel large things.

[–]CatFlavoredToast -2 points-1 points ago

Stereotype, confirmed.

[–]Devoidus -1 points0 points ago

This is why women really do kegel exercises.

[–]marsmanian -1 points0 points ago

Thank You ThighMaster

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