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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Grazsrootz 744 points745 points ago

you came to the wrong neighborhood, bitch

[–]cjrwil 132 points133 points ago

GUINEA FOWL UP IN THIS MOTHER FUCKER!

[–]Taco_Cabeza 64 points65 points ago

Raised six of them myself. Dumbest, most obnoxious birds on the planet. One would jump a fence, then they would all run up and down in a total, stupid panic until I came out and chucked it back inside the fence. They sound like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCiGO5hIckc

When the fisher cats got them, I was glad. GLAD I tell you.

[–]JianKui 53 points54 points ago

Yeah we had them too. Actually quite handy in with chooks, they used to alert us whenever a fox was trying to get in. One time they managed to surround a fox like that. The noise just stunned it, and with a whole circle of them it didn't know which way to run. Mum was able to walk up and shoot it from about 3m away. They were annoying birds, but they also served quite a useful purpose.

And before anyone from England gets upset, in Australia foxes are a feral pest.

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points ago

You'll find few of us objecting to foxes being shot by people who are protecting their chickens. If, on the other hand, you get dressed up with your gang, get on horseback, get a pack of hounds, and then go and tear a fox to pieces for the fun of it, you'll find rather a lot more criticism coming from us.

[–]hamisdie 9 points10 points ago

Dude I shit you not, I had like 20 of them, after about a month I put them in my truck and drove them to the nearest farm and dropped them off. Fuck those birds.

[–]TheManInTheSuit 2 points3 points ago

The fuckers WON'T SHUT UP.

[–]SpermWhale 406 points407 points ago

We can't stay here, this is a fowl country.

[–]Jabawock29 154 points155 points ago

What? Are you chicken?

[–]vertigo1083 114 points115 points ago

I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey!

[–]vertigo1083 30 points31 points ago

Yeh, I reached waaaay back into the childhood for that one.

[–]ratcranberries 7 points8 points ago

This thread is slithering away.

[–]arksien 417 points418 points ago

Long story short, I have a new ringtone.

[–]Handout 54 points55 points ago

I feel like this may have been performed by The Muppets...

[–]cynognathus 79 points80 points ago

It's actually Ray Stevens doing a cover of Glenn Miller's "In the Mood," in the style of clucking chickens.

If you really want the clucking chickens from the Muppets, here you go.

[–]INeedTreeFiddy 23 points24 points ago

Two dreams fulfilled at once.

[–]amiableamy 17 points18 points ago

My grandmother loved that song. When she was dying of cancer, me and my older brother dressed up in chicken suits and did some random chicken dance in her hospital room. She laughed her ass off.

I'd forgotten about the song itself until I saw that video.

[–]laplandsix 13 points14 points ago

I believe this song is called "In The Mood" by ray stevens...for your searching pleasure.

[–]bermygoon 4 points5 points ago

Great idea, funny song. How do I do I chance a video into a ringtone?

[–]suckZEN 8 points9 points ago

Download Audacity and record it while playing the video.

Save that into an mp3 or whatever your phone supports and then put it on your phone

[–]WASDx 13 points14 points ago

Or just google "youtube mp3". There are a lot of sites which directly takes a link and gives you an mp3. Some of them better than others.

[–]ayohriver 150 points151 points ago

The music, the excessive editing, the balloon floating around for no apparent reason; everything about that video just redeemed my Monday.

[–]chubby_prince 41 points42 points ago

My scale of awesomeness is circular instead of linear, so a 1 is adjacent to the 10. This video was in between 1 and 10...

[–]RobertDeHer0 185 points186 points ago

what the hell was going on with that red balloon that comes in around 1.40?

[–]happywaffle 189 points190 points ago

Between that, the scrolly-text, and the annoying "flip" animations, someone liked their Movie Maker For Kidz! program features just a little too much.

[–]murderofcrows 22 points23 points ago

Top Comment on YouTube: Editor of this video should not edit any more videos.

[–]Pottersmash 28 points29 points ago

That was the best part! I found myself watching his bigfoot video as well reading his funny comments like "My horns grew about 6 inches watching this slideshow." to a random pinup girl video

[–]36009955 54 points55 points ago

I like that balloon

[–]XS4Me 2 points3 points ago

It would have been better if it stayed on the margins.

[–]sometimesijustdont 6 points7 points ago

This video makes me angry!

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

If you click the red balloon on the exact right second, shit gets real.

[–]kitchen_break93 16 points17 points ago

damn you

[–]clintonius 33 points34 points ago

That music is fantastic.

[–]JoshSN 76 points77 points ago

A bunch of chickens identify a snake in the grass... and nothing happens.

Just like too much of politics.

[–]PugnaciousPolarBear 17 points18 points ago

Actually, I only see 8 chickens. The rest of them (all the really ugly ones) are Guinea Fowl. Ugliest damn birds I ever raised.

[–]LettersFromTheSky 3 points4 points ago

I was disappointed. Politically, I guess they would call me a disenfranchised voter.

[–]Chrispiest 19 points20 points ago

Whoa! Spoiler alert, dude.

[–]LincolnStein 15 points16 points ago

dat music. couldn't stop laughing.

edit: Is this actual a Tim and Eric video?

[–]GoodneyFielding 8 points9 points ago

That video needs more starwipes.

[–]laide234 11 points12 points ago

What the hell did I just watch?!

[–]NapoleonBonerfart 11 points12 points ago

my parents heard the music from the kitchen and came into my room to inspect what the hell i was watching. I have my stereo hooked up to my computer so it was bumpin' in here.

[–]McCl3lland 13 points14 points ago

Bak buh bak buh bak BAK.

[–]pumpkindog 6 points7 points ago

did the snake even move through the whole video??? I question whether or not it was even alive.

[–]Todamont 33 points34 points ago

Does it bother anyone else that, at one point in this video, the person allows their cat to go up and inspect a live rattlesnake? That is a bad cat owner.

[–]rm999 11 points12 points ago

My roommate's cat died from a rattlesnake bite :'(

[–]chubby_prince 20 points21 points ago

I love that old story.

[–]triari 17 points18 points ago

My nephew's rattlesnake died from a cat bite. :(

[–]telemudcat 26 points27 points ago

My cats rattlesnake died from a nephew bite. :(

[–]dirk_b 9 points10 points ago

That is the best video ever. Post it to /r/videos, the karma is all yours.

[–]aroedl 5 points6 points ago

The youtube image stabilizer would do wonders on this video.

[–]Haven 2 points3 points ago

LOL, actually the cacophony that I imaging was happening IRL would be too annoying for a youtube video.

[–]Cherrytop 4 points5 points ago

Great, now my dog is barking.

[–]weaver2109 83 points84 points ago

I've seen chickens rip a snake to shreds, so I'm really feeling sorry for the snake in the picture.

[–]Haven 51 points52 points ago

Yeah, and guineas with their hooked beaks are even worse. That is one dead snake.

[–]captshady 12 points13 points ago

Peacocks too. They'll leave nothing but skin and blood.

[–]evilbunny793 32 points33 points ago

SNAAAAAAAKE!

[–]Smy90 29 points30 points ago

To shreds you say?

[–]obvioustroll0000 17 points18 points ago

Well, how's his wife holding up?

[–]Smy90 19 points20 points ago

To shreds you say?

[–]White_Luigi 33 points34 points ago

That scene always reminds me of another from Malcolm.

FRANCIS: How did she die?
DEWEY: Cats ate her face.
FRANCIS: Dewey, I think you're confused, I'm asking about Aunt Helen.
DEWEY: Cats ate her face.
FRANCIS: Look, could you just put Mom or Dad on the phone?
-
HAL: Hello?
FRANCIS: What happened to Aunt Helen.
HAL: Cats ate her face. Well, here, Dewey knows more about it than I do.

[–]CoolStoryBro25 19 points20 points ago

I never feel sorry for a snake.

[–]Massacade 8 points9 points ago

There's nothing like the sexy slither of a lady snake. Aww yeah. - Barry White

[–]splashdance68 671 points672 points ago

actually most of those are guineas, and guineas have been known to eat snakes, including poisonous ones. I've got a few myself to keep snakes and bugs.

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 1595 points1596 points ago

We used to have shitloads of guineas and they would eat snakes all the time.

We hatched all of our original ones from eggs we bought at the feed store. The first batch I had 3 dozen eggs in this big incubator and it was my personal summer project. I was meticulous about having the right temperatures and humidity in the incubator and had an automated rocking thing that would tilt the eggs to keep the yolks from getting stuck.

Finally, about a month later the first egg started to hatch, I was so excited I could barely contain myself. I helped the first chick out of the egg, put it into a box with a nice heating lamp and fed it some boiled egg mixed with chick feed and gave it some water. Then I went back to wait by the incubator for the rest to hatch.

and I waited, and waited, and waited and kept waiting. After waiting another week, I started candling the eggs and every fucking one of them was infertile :(

anyway, I took great care of Cheeper (aptly named since all it did was CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP all day) and she got super attached to me. It was to the point that she would follow me around everywhere I went and would often hop up on my shoulder and just chill out while I walked around doing stuff. She would eat out of my hands and offer up her neck for me to scratch. She loved being touched and petted.

She also fucking loved riding around on the handlebars of my dirtbike and 4wheeler. She would jump up there when I got on and then hang on for dear life while I was riding through the pasture. One day while doing that she started spreading her wings and flapping them and actually took off. I taught a bird how to fly on a motorcycle like a fuckin boss. She was the best fucking bird ever.

and then she got eaten by a chicken hawk when she was a little less than a year old. Fuckin sucked. We raised a bunch of guineas after that, but they were all mean assholes that made a dickload of noise and shat everywhere.

RIP Cheeper, you were one of a kind

[–]sungtzu 698 points699 points ago

I wanted to stop half-way through as I knew that ending was going to be bad... but couldn't.
RIP Cheeper.

[–]ariiiiigold 242 points243 points ago

Schadenfreude_Taco, a broken and dejected man, plagued by the death of his closest companion, returns home one day to find the door to his abode slightly ajar. Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cheeper's favourite song, is blaring from the stereo. Before he can move another inch, CHEEP CHEEP. Cheeper struts around the corner and leaps into Mr Taco's arms. SHE NEVER DIED, SHE WAS MERELY HIBERNATING.

And they lived happily ever after.

[–]mknelson 53 points54 points ago

Make it so.

[–]Joubin 25 points26 points ago

Good choice of song, Cheeper. Good choice of song.

[–]maggiefiasco 23 points24 points ago

Thanks for this. Even though it's obviously not true, part of me (the same part of me that believes roadkill are "paper bags") really believed it.

[–]UnitedStatesSenate 66 points67 points ago

Godspeed, little Cheeper.

reddit will never forget you

ಥ_ಥ

[–]felatedbirthday 25 points26 points ago

Thats for damn sure. I know there will be Cheeper references on reddit for years to come.

[–]BusinessCasualty 65 points66 points ago

The sad but true realization of the jaded Redditor.

[–]Dusk_v731 22 points23 points ago

Never forget.

[–]omfg_the_lings 75 points76 points ago

RIP :(

[–]al0newestand 37 points38 points ago

Never forget.

[–]aelzeiny 10 points11 points ago

Never again.

[–]snowyday 13 points14 points ago

Never mind.

[–]ariiiiigold 40 points41 points ago

In commemoration of the great Cheeper, I propose a one minute silence at 10pm this evening. I will be wearing my tuxedo for the occasion.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

I may even put on pants.

[–]austin1414 2 points3 points ago

I'm in. Suit up and shut up. For a minute, anyways.

[–]Cherrytop 108 points109 points ago

I smell a feel-good movie of the week deal. 'My Guinea Girl' starring Tom Hanks as S. Taco, a lone farmer. Someone else will have to pick up the story line from here.

[–]lordmalifico 99 points100 points ago

Tom Hanks is Stanley Taco, a chicken farmer who's lost everything when a snake infestation affects his land. With rising debt and kids to feed, he's turning to unorthodox help in a Guinea named Crackers.

Laugh, cry, and learn a lesson or two this fall with Hope's Wings.

Rated R.

Directed by Stephen Spielberg. Costarring Helen Hunt and Peter Stormare.

[–]tmarkville 50 points51 points ago

If it's rated R, I better see some chicken breasts.

[–]huitlacoche 12 points13 points ago

Nah, its just for fowl language.

[–]old_calico_cat 22 points23 points ago

"...and Peter Stormare as the voice of Crackers."

[–]StuporCollider 19 points20 points ago

CRACKERS! CRAAAAAAACKERS! I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!

[–]p8ntslinger 8 points9 points ago

this is incredible. I would absolutely see this movie.

[–]doubly_depressed 11 points12 points ago

and it shall be named "Where the Grey Fern Grows"

[–]CruisingSpeed 30 points31 points ago

I read that as: A lone taco farmer. Mmm Tacos.

[–]what_no_wtf 10 points11 points ago

You can probably find it somewhere online: My year as a turkey.

Oeh. Found a clip. "As the chicks emerged from their shells, they locked eyes with an unusual but dedicated mother."

[–]dflamunmyob 103 points104 points ago

the first egg started to hatch
fed it some boiled egg

Maybe it's just me, but this feels wrong

[–]seriousherenow 69 points70 points ago

"Eat your brother.... Eat him"

[–]fonetiklee 17 points18 points ago

I think I saw that porno

[–]princesselectra 16 points17 points ago

i agree but a lot of people feed their birds egg. maybe because they came from one and were nourished by it?

[–]WalkingDown 17 points18 points ago

Well... Now I want to know if humans would benefit from eating Amniotic fluid.

[–]MisterWharf 7 points8 points ago

As someone who knows nothing about birds, at first it did to me too.

But then I thought: the egg white is used as nourishment for the birdling, no?

[–]bearshy 28 points29 points ago

My buddy's family has a chicken farm which includes a lone guinea. I can confirm that they can be assholes. This thing runs shit around the farm. No hen, rooster, or even human dare go near it.

If a rooster does approach her(most likely to rape her like all the roosters do to the hens), she will put her head down and charge at it. Damn thing reminds me of its dinosaur ancestors, its head even looks like one.

[–]austin1414 17 points18 points ago

At least the hens can't get pregnant.

[–]bearshy 12 points13 points ago

At first I was like... uuhh...

Then it hit me.

[–]GreatLookingGuy 2 points3 points ago

At first I was like ...Uhh? Then I was like ...oh! But THEN I was like ...ooooohh!

[–]Crowd_of_Gods 24 points25 points ago

It's likely the other guineas were assholes because they had guinea company. Birds will impress on a human if they don't have any other birds to relate to, but once they have company, you're no longer one of them.

[–]potatomadness 33 points34 points ago

never thought I would become engrossed with a story about a guinea fowl.

[–]Agathor 17 points18 points ago

When I was 13, I found a lame bandy rooster while on my morning paper route. I took him home and nursed him back to health. He was so fucking gorgeous, like a pheasant, so many colors. He followed me around everywhere. In the morning he would be waiting next to my horse, which I rode on my paper route. He would ride on her ass, dodging her tail every time. I named him Pretty Boy Floyd, a name I had heard in an old movie.

[–]goodwallace 15 points16 points ago

Also raised a guinea from the egg- mom named her Precious. We hunted lizards together in the daytime and frogs at night with my flashlight. Once made the mistake of assuming that she'd be as nice to my buddies as she was to me. Had to put her back in her pen after she chased them all away.

[–]Quicksylver 28 points29 points ago

Sounds like you guys really had a special bond, I'm sorry for your loss :(

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 69 points70 points ago

not a lot to do when you're 10 years old, out of school and you live on your grandparents ranch in the absolute middle of fucking nowhere.

This was before the internets, so all I had to entertain myself was my dog, my dirtbike and Cheeper

if you want another sad story, my dog actually died of a heart attack when I came home from college the first time after leaving. He was really old and when he ran from his spot under the shade to greet me he got about halfway to me and dropped over dead. That one hurt me right in the feels, bro :(

[–]x755x 40 points41 points ago

God dammit.

[–]Zoomerlawns 12 points13 points ago

You want a sad story? About 10 years ago, me and a couple other people rented a house together. One of the guys felt a little less than safe at night as this was in a semi-bad neighborhood. We decided to get a dog. He comes home one day with the most pathetic looking Rottweiler I've ever seen. She was skin and bones.
We named her Ayla and fed her back into health, or as close to healthy as she was going to get. A month goes by and surprise! she had 2 puppies which she promptly laid on top of and smothered 1 of them. We took the other pup before she could kill it. What she did with the dead pup, we didn't know. We fed the live one a bottle of puppy formula and thought a day separated would get the mother to respond to her pup.
Ayla was outside on the patio when she heard her pup yelping. She got up, went to the flowerbed and started digging. She pulled up the dead pup that she had buried there the day before and started mauling it. She tore the damn thing to shreds as we watched in horror! We came to a consensus silently that the live pup was not going to be reunited with its mom.
The live pup was a runt and it probably would have been best if Ayla had just ended it quickly for it because it would seize up and stop breathing. I had given that pup mouth to snout resuscitation half a dozen times at least. It never shit, despite our attempts to wipe its butt with a warm washcloth. It started to stink by that night and I gave up the last time it seized. With tears in my eyes, I set it back in its box and covered it with the towel.
A couple weeks later we had a bad thunderstorm. Lightning had struck less than 100 yards away. We found Ayla dead from a heart attack out in the yard. We knew it was a heart attack because she had been laying on the front porch when the lightning struck, got scared and tried to run the the back porch but dropped dead midway. It turned out she had a bad case of heartworms and her poor heart couldn't take such a scare.

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 11 points12 points ago

I wish I hadn't posted my story, that was a bad idea.

fuckin onions

[–]for_me_to_post_on 7 points8 points ago

I want to down-vote this so no one can read the sadness.

(but i didn't.)

[–]theaceofaces 6 points7 points ago

Wow, dude, that sucks. Usually there's at least one redeeming quality to stories like this on reddit...but you take the cake on "depressing story of the day," unfortunately. :(

[–]Rainfly_X 12 points13 points ago

I wish I couldn't, but I can one-up you on this one. My aunt and uncle were coming up for thanksgiving, and were a bit late, so there was already a house packed with relatives. They had two dogs at the time, both in the back of the truck - Jake and Shadrach. The dogs were getting antsy about the familiar territory and wanted to run the rest of the way, so my uncle let them out, and they start racing the truck.

There was a crunch.

Long story short, my uncle ran over Shaddy's head on Thanksgiving just half a mile down the road from our house. They'd had that dog for years and years and multiple moves.

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 7 points8 points ago

oh shit, you win. I take it all back

[–]Rainfly_X 6 points7 points ago

Well, by the sound of it, both dogs died quickly and at the end of a long, happy life. Try to take comfort in that, at least, even if it doesn't seem like much sometimes.

[–]PaladinSato 11 points12 points ago

You have had bad luck with pets. Redditor mysteryspot has a pet might could be a good pet for you.

http://imgur.com/a/ntKht

Edit: if you want to see the original, search "Reddit, meet Ham". I don't know how to link from here with my ipod. It's really funny.

[–]GravityOfDSituation 3 points4 points ago

Fuck! How are you not in fetal position sucking your thumb?

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 7 points8 points ago

this was ~20 years ago now

holy shit, this was 20 years ago O_o

wtf

[–]hd2002 9 points10 points ago

Its name is Cheeper

[–]Se2_Gupta 39 points40 points ago

TIL cheeper was a keeper.

[–]9FingeredFrodo 6 points7 points ago

I thought for sure the story was going to end with Cheeper protecting you from a snake unsuccessfully but saving your life. Still a nice story though. RIP Cheeper

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 11 points12 points ago

I was a depressed little kid, she saved me from myself that summer :(

[–]EPluribusUnumIdiota 6 points7 points ago

Sorry to hear about your bird. I used to have a neighbor whose "baby" was a smallish poodle, really the most annoying, jittery, and ugly dog I ever met. Damn thing would piss on my sporting goods if left them outside in my yard. Anyway, the woman was single, and she treated the dog like it was her child, always had it dressed up, painted its nails, would have it ride on her lap as she drove. One day, she had some people over, as did we, so both families are grilling out back and she's out there kissing "baby" when out of nowhere a red tailed hawk swoops down and picks up the little shit like it was nothing, just boom, "thanks for lunch, lady!" She was running around in circles screaming, "BAAAABY BAAAABY!!! SOMEONE STOP THAT BIRD!! BAABY, SHOOT THE BIRD, JIMMY, SHOOOT IT!!!" Jimmy didn't shoot anything, but man, it was a trip to see that.

[–]artosis420 19 points20 points ago

RIP Chocobo

[–]hopstar 6 points7 points ago

She also fucking loved riding around on the handlebars of my dirtbike and 4wheeler. She would jump up there when I got on and then hang on for dear life while I was riding through the pasture. One day while doing that she started spreading her wings and flapping them and actually took off. I taught a bird how to fly on a motorcycle like a fuckin boss.

I would love to see a video of this.

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 14 points15 points ago

No video, but my grandma has a picture on her wall that she took with my dog, Puppy, riding in the basket on front of the 4wheeler and Cheeper riding on the handlebars and me driving. I miss those days, it was a simpler time :-(

[–]NaricssusIII 6 points7 points ago

Dude, you have to deliver that pic now.

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 8 points9 points ago

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/op-will-surely-deliver-lets-just-wait.jpg

If I have my yearbook in our apartment, I will definitely post the pic. If I don't you're shit out of luck because the nearest copy is 2000 miles away and my grandma doesn't have a camera phone :o

[–]zoeypantalones 2 points3 points ago

Replying only in hopes that you'll deliver.

[–]zeroes0 6 points7 points ago

OMG thank you for finally identifying this chicken. I never knew their name and my grandma used to have them on her ranch. These motherfuckers are evil incarnate. They would chase the hell out of me, and bite me ;___;

[–]Schadenfreude_Taco 4 points5 points ago

yeah, they're real dicks I tell you what. And oh my fuck are they ever loud. After we got our flock the fuckers roosted in the tree right outside my window. SO LOUD AT NIGHT.

in a twist of fate, we got tired of them shitting on everything and being loud, annoying twats so we shot and ate all of them :o

that was after about 5 years of annoyance though. 1 guinea is magical, 50 of them make you want to murder and eat them

[–]longhornmd 5 points6 points ago

Damn these onions

[–]ihatelettuce 2 points3 points ago

I love stories like this! We got 3 baby chicks a few months ago and I lost one chick to a chicken hawk while I ran inside to the bathroom for 60 seconds. The second baby just died last night.

My little Crooky was a lot like this, but her life was much shorter; 13 weeks. She would jump right into our hands anytime we took the cover off their box. She would cheep for us all the time too, especially after we put her to bed. She had a problem with her beak so I would feed her yogurt and she just loved it. When we took her outside she would follow us everywhere. Unfortunately, her beak deformity caused other problems and she died just last night. I know she was just a chicken but having a little bird follow you around is really adorable.

I've had my share of tears last night and today, but reading your story made me feel better! Thanks!!

[–]sandandsoda 153 points154 points ago

Yeah I assumed OP meant that that snake is about to get pecked to death.

[–]swizzle_sticks 47 points48 points ago

this is what I was also thinking considering the snake is the one being surrounded..

[–]princesselectra 42 points43 points ago

and the fact that guinea hens are very good at keeping the shit real. they are however the silliest sounding birds when they get agitated.

[–]mknelson 18 points19 points ago

TIL guineas keep shit real.

[–]spoofex 4 points5 points ago

Fo' Sho!

[–]punkmasta 6 points7 points ago

What is the snake guinea do?

[–]disembodied_voice 11 points12 points ago

Actually, I would put my money on the snake winning this fight (WARNING: Link contains TV Tropes).

[–]Utinni 6 points7 points ago

Thank you for the warning, almost lost a couple of hours there.

[–]oligobop 44 points45 points ago

Another interesting fact:

Guinea fowl are used to control lyme disease because they are primary predators of ticks.

Interesting less factual statement:

(word of mouth) Guinea fowl are dumb as shit, so I bet at least one of those birds will get nipped by that snake. From what I can tell that looks like a diamond-back too.

[–]TwoHands 75 points76 points ago

the snake will begin by trying to eat one of the dumb birds. While it is eating that bird, the others will freak out and fuck the snake up. They'll all then spend the next day or three eating the snake.

[–]Fistful_of_Fingers 28 points29 points ago

I read your comment in Sir David Attenborough´s voice and found it very refreshing.

[–]lfgbrd 8 points9 points ago

The Guinea around the house thinks it's a dog. It runs around with the puppies and chases cats.

[–]dRwEedThuMb 94 points95 points ago

Sssssssshit.

[–]bamb00zled 23 points24 points ago

[–]telfman123 11 points12 points ago

[–]reacher 29 points30 points ago

They are loud as hell, but they love to eat pesky pests!

[–]Seicair 6 points7 points ago

With a strangely metallic cry.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 26 points27 points ago

This doesn't contradict OP's title at all.

[–]thisismykarmaface 15 points16 points ago

I friggin love guineas

[–]desert_cruiser 15 points16 points ago

they are so fucking noisy!

[–]Haven 9 points10 points ago

Great watch-dogs.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

Dogs are also great watch-dogs too.

I think I'd be more scared of a barking dog than a yipping guinea.

[–]xenthum 4 points5 points ago

I'd be more scared of fifty yipping guineas than one dog, however.

Depending on training, of course. ATTACK GUINEAS!

[–]Ashayla 3 points4 points ago

Guinea would be superior if you have dog allergies...and a weapon.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I wonder how many burglars have dog allergies.

[–]shpongolian 9 points10 points ago

They're also really, really stupid. Probably the stupidest animal I've ever owned. Pretty entertaining.

[–]gloriousrepublic 5 points6 points ago

They eats ticks like crazy.... cuts down on Lyme's disease. After my dad, brother, and dog all contracted Lymes, we got a shitload of guinea hens and never had a tick on our property again.

[–]electricmonk9 12 points13 points ago

Non-confrontational information time: it's actually called Lyme Disease, not Lyme's disease. I actually fought with a kid in my middle school over this, he said his dad was a doctor so he knew the right name. He ended up as a volunteer EMT in high school and while that's not a loser job in my school it was essentially the loser club.

The more you know, the something something.

[–]wow_great_name 3 points4 points ago

A snake surrounded by guineas? Fuhgeddaboud it!

[–]serb1991 9 points10 points ago

You mean "venomous".

[–]TheOtherSideOfThings 75 points76 points ago

You may be wondering why I gathered you all here today...

[–]CornFedHonky 97 points98 points ago

MINE?!

[–]gatorb888 24 points25 points ago

[–]CsC51 38 points39 points ago

Hey! Why isn't that snake on a leash...

[–]purpleghost89 37 points38 points ago

He is legend

[–]Yserbius 19 points20 points ago

They're afraid of me. They are afraid of me!

[–]zimtastic 4 points5 points ago

Seems like you two read the book instead of just watching the movie...good show!

[–]RB94 22 points23 points ago

Day 37: They're starting to get suspicious. I must make my move soon.

[–]Kramol 39 points40 points ago

It's worm time!

[–]redlogicsquare 12 points13 points ago

He pecked a bad place to hang out.

[–]now_in3D 9 points10 points ago

Looks like meats back on the menu boys!!!!!

[–]LegendofSmellda 36 points37 points ago

You walked into the wrong neighborhood mother-fucker.

[–]Mi5anthr0pe 31 points32 points ago

guineas

I've got 5 guineas, along with my ~40 chickens. They get along very well and are beautiful birds, but they are the dumbest animals alive. Most people get them for snakes, but in my experience the only thing they accomplish is killing my goddamn frogs and toads. My chickens are the ones who end up actually taking care of the pests.

Guineas are food, that's the best purpose they could serve.

[–]dicentra 23 points24 points ago

The stupidity of guineas is in direct relation to all the time that they spend hanging out in the middle of the fucking road.

[–]sk4ht 35 points36 points ago

That is probably where mine are as I type this.

[–]juwanjo86 4 points5 points ago

The flying V formation must be their next move.

[–]perkocet 5 points6 points ago

i'm trying to locate the Charlie Conway of the group.

[–]eaterofdog 20 points21 points ago

That snake looks dead. That is not a defensive posture at all.

[–]thesimpletoncomplex 23 points24 points ago

Not only is the snake dead, but it's an eastern diamondback rattlesnake...a species currently under review for federal protection.

[–]perkocet 108 points109 points ago

looks like this one will be absent from the meetings.

[–]throwaway7902 46 points47 points ago

That's why they are constantly under review, and not protected. They can't get their shit together and get to the meetings.

[–]ChocolateSunrise 24 points25 points ago

Just like the marijuana lobby.

[–]CardboardHeatshield 21 points22 points ago

Wikipedia says "Least Concern"... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crotalus_adamanteus

[–]Boobarella 6 points7 points ago

Yeah, but...you know...it' like...currently under review. Lotta paper work to get through.

[–]ninja_taco 5 points6 points ago

I mean...dinosaurs, right?

[–]HiImTed 5 points6 points ago

"I guess you're wondering why I've gathered all of you here today..."

[–]NotARobotv2 4 points5 points ago

Guineas.... why'd it have to be guineas?

[–]flooranddoor 8 points9 points ago

Ok Sally...You make the first move

[–]crazystrawman 3 points4 points ago

Don't be chicken!

[–]BAM225 11 points12 points ago

Where's Leeeeerrrooooyyyy Jenkins?

[–]too_toked 8 points9 points ago

I know the joke, but i dont get this reference pertaining to this image. please advise?

[–]mont94 22 points23 points ago

i think he means who's the first poor bastard to run in.

[–]too_toked 9 points10 points ago

well then, at least he got his fried chicken..

[–]massacre0520 3 points4 points ago