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all 183 comments

[–]LowSociety 451 points452 points ago

"Thank you Mario, but our princess is in another White Castle."

[–]Redletterweek 119 points120 points ago

Dear Mario,

Please come to the

castle. I've baked

a cake for myself.

Yours truly--

Princess Toadstool

[–]gaedikus 44 points45 points ago

"bowser, hey it's peach. hey how come you dont capture me anymore?...oh........oh, uh huh....o-okay...no, that's... that's fine, i understand. I'll stop calli-click"

....

World 0-1: Kitchen

[–]aldude3 0 points1 point ago

Mario now has 2 mortgages, 3 kids, and a minivan.

[–]Nitro187 7 points8 points ago

You forgot the "Peach!" part

[–]Strmtrper6 4 points5 points ago

She ate that too.

[–]Nitro187 2 points3 points ago

[–]SchokoDami 0 points1 point ago

The cake is a lie!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lizlegit000 2 points3 points ago

You copied someone else! You son of a bitch.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Lazy_Overachiever 10 points11 points ago

You didn't ensure

That your response was haiku

You were downvoted

[–]Delvil 7 points8 points ago

wait, what? is that why 17 downvotes? people assumed I was trying to make a haiku?

for their sake I hope they just downvoted because they thought I'm a dildo or something, because if you're correct then that's retarded.

[–]Lazy_Overachiever 13 points14 points ago

Not at all, I just took a shot in the dark. I upvoted you, actually. Sorry that you lost imaginary Internet Points.

[–]StartFinish 1 point2 points ago

look everyone, we got someone that's new to the internet!

[–]Delvil 0 points1 point ago

right, and yet you're the one making his point and then referring to others as "everyone" as though the board is his little club and it's just like his peers were (who am I kidding? probably still in high school) in high school.

yeah, kiddo. it's that obvious.

[–]StartFinish -1 points0 points ago

You've never seen the "look everyone, we got a new guy" meme? I guess you really are new. Welcome! Come in! Take your shoes off by the Rageguy and I'll put on a kettle to make you a hot cup of Chocolate Rain.

[–]CannedBrains 27 points28 points ago

Seems like he never found the right princess and just gave up after some time.

[–]ScottCarmichael 17 points18 points ago

Hey, if you spend your early years constantly eating 'shrooms and not ever keeping a full-time job, you're eventually gonna wake up and realize you're 35, have a fat gut and probably gonna hafta settle.

[–]BaconCat 11 points12 points ago

[–]I_can_fluff_myself 19 points20 points ago

i can verify that this link is not actually Mario fucking a bitch. this was my concern as well.

[–]BaconCat 4 points5 points ago

Concern.. or.. hope?

[–]misjustamilo 3 points4 points ago

[–]ericdn627 1 point2 points ago

Dead link on my end.

[–]F-Stop 18 points19 points ago

Mario Kart is actually a hoveround.

[–]PeruvianRambo93 137 points138 points ago

Bowser quit chasin that years ago.

[–]MuxBoy 83 points84 points ago

hit it and quit it

[–]duBiYou 21 points22 points ago

He did WAY more than hit that if bowser stopped chasing it.

[–]cuppincayk 18 points19 points ago

Well, Browser and Peach did have a kid together

[–]dev_bacon 46 points47 points ago

Chrome or Firefox?

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 20 points21 points ago

Internet Explorer.

[–]cuppincayk 5 points6 points ago

Stupid fucking phone...

[–]Clayburn 3 points4 points ago

I wish Reddit would put a notation on comments that are posted from a mobile device.

[–]KennyFuckingPowers 6 points7 points ago

"I could have stayed with him. He had castles!"

[–]ChickenShoes 11 points12 points ago

In order to kidnap her, he has to lift her first.

[–]iheartbenzene 1 point2 points ago

Fists full of cake and all

[–]videogameexpert 2 points3 points ago

Is that a Fat Princess reference? I never got to play that game :(

[–]j2cool 0 points1 point ago

You should. It's fun.

[–]incer 0 points1 point ago

Bowser successful bachelor!

[–]Deckard_ 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he was a feeder and Mario saved her one day before this picture was shot.

[–]legalize_meth 101 points102 points ago

You think that's bad, you should see Kirby.

[–]Strangely_Calm 22 points23 points ago

I'm going to keep upvoting you so you and NotaMethAddict can have a showdown.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 12 points13 points ago

He only has 261,853 comment karma to go till he's caught him. I'll grab the popcorn.

[–]RonBurgundy35 1 point2 points ago

We can do this! also, great username

[–]4_word_replies_only 1 point2 points ago

Do you love lamp?

[–]j2cool 1 point2 points ago

I love lamp.

[–]Strangely_Calm 0 points1 point ago

[–]kingbinji -1 points0 points ago

is this suppose to be some subliminal advertising for the breaking bad finale?

[–]TheDailyReddit 60 points61 points ago

BREAKING NEWS: SUPER MARIO STUCK IN PIPE, PIRANHA PLANT PROTESTS

(World 4-3, Mushroom Kingdom, 15:37pm)

"I was on my way to McToadstool and figured I would take a shortcut" Mario said to TheDailyReddit. "Anybody have a Tanooki suit? Or some fries?"

Princess Peach says this has happened before. "He still thinks he s his old self. Even Wario makes fun of him now."

Even though Luigi is reported to be on his way from his mansion with a Poltergust to help his brother, Mario might still be in a tight spot. People are in talks of stripping Mario of his "super"-title, arguing that "he's had a few mushrooms too many."

We tried to reach out to Mario for a comment, but he has been idle for too long and fell asleep.

[–]CanTrollZ 3 points4 points ago

15:37pm.

Seems legit.

[–]TheDailyReddit 0 points1 point ago

It's adjusted for inflation.

[–]The_Dacca 1 point2 points ago

User for 19 days, he's legit. I approve.

[–]Hansarn -1 points0 points ago

I like you. I'll look forward to seeing more from you. Where do you mostly post?

[–]TheDailyReddit 1 point2 points ago

TheDailyReddit is currently reporting in /r/funny, /r/AdviceAnimals and /r/gaming, with a possible expansion to /r/gonewild if we can get a correspondent.

[–]Hansarn 0 points1 point ago

Very nice, I'm looking forward to reading more of your works. Will you be running a site or a blog or something of the sort where you post all of your articles?

[–]TheDailyReddit 1 point2 points ago

Yes. Check out www.reddit.com

[–]Hansarn 0 points1 point ago

.. Seriosuly though, you should have them collected somewhere else. Possibly just make your own subreddit.

[–]Table_biscuit 7 points8 points ago

To be fair, I think Mario's lost weight.

[–]gak001 18 points19 points ago

It's-a... life...

[–]Newshoe 12 points13 points ago

It's-a Diabetes

[–]steakmeout 10 points11 points ago

Pretty sure that's a couple from around Melbourne. Walking on St. Kilda Road.

[–]behavedave -1 points0 points ago

Seeing as the car has the Dakar rally symbol on it I doubt it, unless Aussies like the Dakar rally.

[–]aaffddssaa 1 point2 points ago

Why wouldn't they? It's an international race.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 20 points21 points ago

As an Australian, I would like to remind people that we are in fact a real country.

[–]behavedave -3 points-2 points ago

The odds are stacked against it - out of 794 racers 6 are Australian, I doubt it would be very popular.

[–]thekeanu 2 points3 points ago

So: number of competitors = level of national interest?

[–]forbos 0 points1 point ago

You make it sound like an unknown quantifier that requires further study. I'm Australian and I like the Dakar rally, if that counts for anything.

[–]MeowNeko 0 points1 point ago

Never mind the Dakar rally sticker, how can you tell that's St Kilda Rd? Jus' curious.

[–]Crushader 10 points11 points ago

That's Ash and Misty!!!

[–]Rathman44 11 points12 points ago

Ash and Misty would be like 26 and in their prime.

[–]pokeatthedevil 7 points8 points ago

After performing only the most complex of calculations I can verify that this is possibly correct.

[–]CR4ZY0WN3R 2 points3 points ago

Too many mushrooms.

[–]Shady7544 2 points3 points ago

Thank you for not posting in WTF.

[–]watermelonpickle 0 points1 point ago

Amen brother amen

[–]Mattskilol 1 point2 points ago

sad part is he still hasn't gotten any of that action.

[–]drummer_86 2 points3 points ago

Super Friend Zone

[–]linkinlogs123 1 point2 points ago

It turns out that stomping on turtles was all that was keeping Mario from pasta-induced obesity.

[–]MaxxximusPrime7 2 points3 points ago

I guess it's safe to say that Yoshi also quit his job.

[–]Sgt_Soggybottoms 1 point2 points ago

thats not nice

[–]Daedalus6174 2 points3 points ago

It's not good reddetiquette to put the punchline in the title.

[–]The_Dacca 2 points3 points ago

This is what happens when you port the ROM to 'merica

[–]rikashiku 0 points1 point ago

Something doesn't seem right about some guy taking pictures of people on the street.....

[–]Frankenfish 6 points7 points ago

But then we couldn't collectively laugh and ridicule them for our amusement...

[–]knuxed 3 points4 points ago

Looks like they just gave up on themselves

[–]Aposto1ate 0 points1 point ago

Luigi is dead

[–]delightordelirium 2 points3 points ago

No, they just make him follow twenty meters behind.

[–]ChriosM 1 point2 points ago

Unfortunately, I sympathize....

[–]dabigguy3 0 points1 point ago

I actually don't feel bad for Luigi!

[–]HalpTheFan 1 point2 points ago

I lost it when I saw the green bag and all I could think Yoshi is in there...

[–]mbray 0 points1 point ago

I'm not even goin to try & 1up this!

[–]el_refrigerator 0 points1 point ago

whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

[–]lsguk 1 point2 points ago

WAH-HA-WAHOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW-MY HIP!

[–]whiskeyonsunday 1 point2 points ago

That's actually pretty sweet. They're still together after all these years.

[–]GoldFlame 0 points1 point ago

Mario an peach diet and fitness training for the wii anyone?

[–]BracedPolecat 0 points1 point ago

Though I want to laugh at this but the other half of me wants to feel sorry for these people, obesity is a terrible thing

[–]wesleyt89 0 points1 point ago

Marios probably thinking to himself "Man If this bitch gets captured one more time she better try Luigi cause I'ma say fuck it"

[–]andshewas_45 0 points1 point ago

OP where is this pic taken? Looks exactly like a couple that walks around town here picking up liter and putting it their bags.

[–]karmatripping 0 points1 point ago

Luigi is still tappin that'

[–]Short_Amigo 0 points1 point ago

I picture it more like the Everyone loves Raymond show.

[–]leaderofblackpeople 1 point2 points ago

Why does reddit take pictures of normal people and ridicule it? grow up guys

[–]christoforever 0 points1 point ago

After all the excitement in their early years I guess I can't really blame them for letting themselves go

[–]plungerpenis 1 point2 points ago

Doesn't matter had sex

[–]honor_face 0 points1 point ago

This is adorable. I love how old folks stick with their fashion choices!

[–]feel_the_burns 0 points1 point ago

That awkward moment when that looks like my dad...

[–]chilndan 0 points1 point ago

Poor Mario.

[–]Deep_Black_Joe 0 points1 point ago

อิอิ

[–]warpaint 0 points1 point ago

Damn Princess Peach been eating too many peaches.

[–]upgrayedd08 0 points1 point ago

We're Mario and Peach... and we're addicted to stars.

[–]fleshlightchronicles 0 points1 point ago

Super Mario Sunshine Retirement Home

[–]EMP826 0 points1 point ago

aaand now I'm sad.

[–]DJPAUZE -1 points0 points ago

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

[–]Mojimoto 0 points1 point ago

Looks more like Ash Ketchum

[–]atrain1486 0 points1 point ago

"Bowser, what have you done with the princess, oh wait."

[–]benification -1 points0 points ago

I'm pretty certain those are my neighbors.

[–]indogirl -1 points0 points ago

O my I know these two. A few years ago I saw them in the bus together, and he had his hand over her left boob and kept wiggling it. In front of everyone. And she doesn't seem to be bothered by it. So strange.. Nonetheless, the two has been inseparable for YEARS.

[–]Tatsumi 0 points1 point ago

Looks more like an old Ash and Misty.

[–]keakealani 0 points1 point ago

I'm trying to figure out if that's a deliberate cosplay or just a strange coincidence...

[–]jayman1466 1 point2 points ago

It must get annoying being overweight. People are constantly taking pictures of you behind your back, either for internet points or to plaster over the TV during a news report on obesity.

[–]STXGregor 0 points1 point ago

Only thing left of poor Luigi is a handbag...

[–]itslikeboo 0 points1 point ago

Why are we calling her Peach now? Why did we just decide to change that? She was Princess Toadstool for more that 10 years until 'Peach' showed up for the first time, and that was only AFTER 'Princess Toadstool' in her letter to Mario.

[–]watermelonpickle 0 points1 point ago

[–]lmg6841 0 points1 point ago

More like Ash Ketchum and a Snorlax.

[–]essenseVA 0 points1 point ago

She looks more like a goomba

[–]nate199 0 points1 point ago

That lady looks like my eighth grade english teacher

[–]Monstergummibear 0 points1 point ago

Why does this make me so sad?

[–]CrappyCook 0 points1 point ago

I thought Peach was Asian? Japanese to be specific.

[–]naturally7 0 points1 point ago

C'mon that is totally ash ketchum

[–]Rasta_Man69 1 point2 points ago

Super Mario - Peach eats Bowser.

[–]Skizzik9575 0 points1 point ago

That must be after they settled in 'merica.

[–]tha_dood 1 point2 points ago

I seem to remember a big red bold post about punchlines in titles somewhere...

[–]Laust17 0 points1 point ago

Second time i see this today...

[–]delegable94 0 points1 point ago

This is what happens when you port the ROM to 'merica.

[–]F5_supermonkey 0 points1 point ago

you mean white trash version.

[–]sashaslaughter 0 points1 point ago

love it :)

[–]PenguinFireCO13 0 points1 point ago

And this is what happens when you take too much bowser dick

[–]Matttend 1 point2 points ago

Boy, bowser dodged a bullet, since he is a single king, hes probably scoring hotties, i bet hes doing daisy!

[–]bobaf 1 point2 points ago

He was nude in las vegas

[–]jamesherr44 -1 points0 points ago

I have only been on reddit for 20 days. And I have to say the people here Are harsh. I was all excited because I had 55 comment karma. Then I make 1 comment about eating a girls menstral discharge and I'm down in the 30s from so many negative votes on it.

[–]topchief1 1 point2 points ago

I've always felt the best way to get in reddits good graces was to go around whining because someone downvoted you and it hurt your precious feelings. Good job!!

[–]watermelonpickle 0 points1 point ago

I also think menstrual discharge tastes good.

[–]ImUsingDaForce -4 points-3 points ago

here you fucking go
you know whats funny though? he downloaded it, uploaded it to imgur and than gave us link.

[–]mushcraft 2 points3 points ago

*then

also, nobody here cares about 9gag

[–]CrazyEoin -2 points-1 points ago

Brilliant! I thought this was some weird cosplay when I first saw it but then I realized it was just random luck that the photographer saw these people. :D

[–]Rountree85 -5 points-4 points ago

Generic Mario reference.

[–]MontegoBarbados -3 points-2 points ago

Peach looks like a true patriotic American that ain't gonna let no government mess with her Medicare.

[–]mrasif -1 points0 points ago

He might still be able to fix pipes, he just won't be able to fit through them. No more mario games kids.

[–]Lycanthropes -2 points-1 points ago

Mario is overweight. I can only assume he is an atheist.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Kastenbr0t 0 points1 point ago

It isn't even a punchline, just a description of the picture.

[–]CountExile -2 points-1 points ago

Isn't that Ash and Peach?

[–]babiesloveboobies 2 points3 points ago

Ash wears overalls?

[–]CosmicPube -2 points-1 points ago

"What have I become..ova here?!"

[–]ericdn627 -2 points-1 points ago

That's hilarious... and probably true!

[–]natetan 0 points1 point ago

Someone posted this on 9gag like 4 days ago. Nice.

[–]DRTYRYDR686 -1 points0 points ago

Peach got FAAAAAAATTT

[–]ironw00d -1 points0 points ago

Prisoners eat well...

[–]Lusst -2 points-1 points ago

Oh, god. That's depressing.

[–]anthrocide -1 points0 points ago

Looks like she ate Bowser

[–]bolago 1 point2 points ago

my childhood is ruined

[–]thinkbeforeyoupost 0 points1 point ago

I wonder why this is inherently a bad thing. All of those mushrooms had to catch up to Mario at some point, and combined with Peach's love of baking it's no wonder they're both obese. But hey, they found true love in one another, so they don't care what the other looks like. They know their prime has long since been left behind, and they're okay with it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]quailman03 2 points3 points ago

^ SPAM ^ This is spam to some AOL movie thing. I don't know where this guy keeps coming from. This is the second time I've seen him.

Also this: NSFW

[–]Faggot_Fuck -3 points-2 points ago

I've seen this so many times! This is a huge repost