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all 124 comments

[–]xaiqwontai 91 points92 points ago

Unless you were in Japan circa march 2011...

[–]G0VERNMENT 8 points9 points ago

Too soon.

[–]HornyYogaMaster 42 points43 points ago

Too tsun.

[–]PaperThoughts 1 point2 points ago

Tucson?

[–]silkypepp 2 points3 points ago

Tusk

[–]alreadytakenusername 1 point2 points ago

Tsk, tsk...

[–]AcisAce 0 points1 point ago

Too tsunami

[–]CrabCow 0 points1 point ago

That was too soon.

[–]jevons 22 points23 points ago

[–]homelesstatertot 22 points23 points ago

That's not a house, thats a Shaq!

[–]siglaboo 17 points18 points ago

[–]SlagTheSlig 9 points10 points ago

That's not a Shaq, that's Iraq!

[–]fivepercentsure -1 points0 points ago

Well Frack!

[–]reynard_the_fox -2 points-1 points ago

That's not Iraq, that's a Jack!

[–]rootusercyclone 7 points8 points ago

Baba Yaga. Reminds me of "Pictures at an Exhibition".

[–]FNGPete 0 points1 point ago

I just ran that module. Never again.

[–]Umpalumpa47 3 points4 points ago

average house

[–]Balls2theW4ll 0 points1 point ago

[–]gulpeg 96 points97 points ago

Houses can't jump because there are always people around.. In deserted towns, houses jump all the time!!

[–]Ragnalypse 92 points93 points ago

White Houses ain't got hops.

[–]jakemyers7 26 points27 points ago

I love that movie White House Can't Jump

[–]solistus 18 points19 points ago

[–]peon72 -5 points-4 points ago

Just because Obama's black he had to bring hops to the White Black House.

[–]sixstringhead 9 points10 points ago

I am a house and I can confirm that I don't jump

[–]spartan4333 8 points9 points ago

I am a jump and I can confirm that I don't house.

[–]wAsTiNgSp00nZ -4 points-3 points ago

I am a person, and I can confirm that houses do not jump when I'm around.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I am a doctor, and I can confirm that it's not Lupus.

[–]achshar 0 points1 point ago

I am confirm and i can jump that house cannot around.

[–]gulpeg 1 point2 points ago

Duh, cause there are always people around

[–]Polemus 0 points1 point ago

Seems legit.

[–]calmlunatic 26 points27 points ago

[–]Moose_dope 11 points12 points ago

Omg even though it's just a gif I could actually hear it, that's so weird

[–]FlyingPasta 26 points27 points ago

Yeap, that is the exact response every time someone posts this gif. It should say so in the gif itself and cut out the middleman.

[–]Tasgall -4 points-3 points ago

I'm already bracing myself for the inevitable, re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-post of this on the front page.

[–]Bizarre-Non-Sequitur -2 points-1 points ago

It is a treasonous crime to meddle or intercept someone's mail in the united kingdom. This is due the all mail being passed through the Royal Mail postal service technically being property of the ruling Monarch.

[–]SubDtep 0 points1 point ago

I think this is because it is timed to match your heartbeat, and even though it's faint, I guess your mind amplifies it. At least that's what I've heard...

But also, the shaking of the camera when it lands help trick your brain.

[–]Moose_dope 0 points1 point ago

I think it's the camera shaking

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Synesthesia is awesome.

[–]achshar 0 points1 point ago

*thud* *thud* *thud*

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Moose_dope 11 points12 points ago

Power lines..

[–]FishJaw 13 points14 points ago

I work on the Jungle Cruise at Disney and I might just use this fact...

[–]TaTonka2000 6 points7 points ago

Is everyone in that jungle cruise a jokester? Because if not, I was in a boat with you a few weeks ago. I gotta say, with 2 young kids in tow, it was nice and refreshing to have a funny moment. Flew over the kids heads most of the time, which made it somehow even better. Thanks for being funny.

[–]FishJaw 2 points3 points ago

I've just recently started at the jungle cruise so it wasn't me. I'm trying to be that way, though. Not overly goofy, just getting some jokes out and getting some facts in while I'm at it.

[–]SamKhan95 1 point2 points ago

Are you a large man who wears glasses?

[–]FishJaw 1 point2 points ago

No sir.

[–]FishJaw 0 points1 point ago

I'm only 18 so I guess I don't really think of myself as a "large man" but now that I think about it I technically am. I just started working there two weeks ago, though.

[–]fearlesspancake 1 point2 points ago

You can edit your comments, Just lettin' ya know.

[–]Gallifreyan_Type_40 0 points1 point ago

That is one of my favorite rides at Disneyland...it's so underrated! But that also means there's always a short line :D

[–]I_am_the_Jukebox 0 points1 point ago

It was on the Jungle Cruise as a kid that I heard one of my favorite bad jokes that I still use to this day.

Two mushrooms walk into a bar. The bartender says to them, "Hey, we don't serve your kind!" The mushrooms just respond, "What's the problem? We're just two fungi."

[–]I_Love_Kittehs 0 points1 point ago

Do you know this guy? Because he was hilarious. And my brother and I seemed to be the only ones laughing.

[–]FishJaw 0 points1 point ago

That appears to be Disneyland, I actually work at Disney World.

[–]entrophykitten 0 points1 point ago

That house can weigh up to 50 thousand tons and jump 50 feet in the air... Luckily were only 40 feet away...so it'll jump right over us...

[–]Globalwarmingisfake 14 points15 points ago

[–]danoll 0 points1 point ago

I was really hoping someone would explain what this meant.

[–]colecf 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it.

[–]Jonny_Watts 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

[–]Jonny_Watts 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

[–]robotlove28 4 points5 points ago

The AVERAGE house.

[–]elige23 5 points6 points ago

I can jump higher then a mountain! Mountains cant jump!-dora the explorer

[–]Zdeno_Chara_Is_Tall 9 points10 points ago

Might as well rename this subreddit r/facebook.

[–]CTgowiththeFLOW 4 points5 points ago

I thought OP was talking about horses at first.

[–]duk3nuk3m 2 points3 points ago

O really?

[–]UncleNatty 2 points3 points ago

What about a bouncy house?

[–]SG_Dave 4 points5 points ago

My brother once got me with that, sort of.

He bet me a fiver he could jump higher than the house. Of course he won because houses can't jump.

[–]WhiteGuyThatCantJump 1 point2 points ago

I'm curious to know what species of antelope can actually jump high. Most antelope, specifically pronghorn in the western USA have limited home ranges due to their muscles being developed for horizontal movement rather than vertical movement. Studies have shown that some pronghorn are actually limited to a very specific range because they cannot jump over many fences that farmers/ranchers have up.

Some farmers put small gates in their fences that allow the pronghorn to walk under the wire so that their range is not as limited.

[–]Thereminz 1 point2 points ago

gotta get me one of those jumping houses

[–]John_Doey 1 point2 points ago

The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere

[–]KWAD2 1 point2 points ago

Wasn't this joke a top comment on Imgur but Kangaroos instead?

[–]jeni_cote 1 point2 points ago

I read horse both times, double took on the second one then continued to read, then lol'd.

[–]kflesch2011 1 point2 points ago

Dora the Explorer said it first

[–]MpegEVIL 1 point2 points ago

Hey look! An old joke that was rewritten into a Facebook post!

[–]agoodz 1 point2 points ago

Cat facts!

Cats, in some cases, can sleep as much as 20 hours in a 24-hour period.

[–]pentakillace 1 point2 points ago

Actually, the original joke was from Dora the Explorer...and she asked if I (or some character I forget) could jump higher than a mountain. Got trolled.

[–]Harvestkawaii 1 point2 points ago

I read this as Cantelope. Wtf brain.

[–]Xandrez192 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, if you dropped a cantelope, it would probably bounce higher than a house would.

[–]Harvestkawaii 1 point2 points ago

I pictured a cantelope jumping over a house. Not being throw, not having legs, just magically jumping. Then I thought about how scary Listeria scares would be if cantelopes could jump o.o

[–]XResistance 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like something GLaDOS would say...

[–]freezway 1 point2 points ago

Read it as "cantaloupe" and was confused.

[–]bestbeforeMar91 1 point2 points ago

TIL that I can jump higher than the Empire State Building.

[–]CalcProgrammer1 1 point2 points ago

Just because you've never seen the Empire State Building jump doesn't mean it can't...

[–]1337Scott 0 points1 point ago

I remember variant of this joke from like 10 years ago. Oldddddddd.

[–]shaftdestroyer 1 point2 points ago

I feel like I read it in some Dr. Seuss book years ago.

[–]nomenMei 0 points1 point ago

It was in Dora the Explorer too, except with mountains instead of houses.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Happylime 0 points1 point ago

Scumbag brain: Can think of responses only when hundreds of responses already made.

[–]psychosid 0 points1 point ago

If a giraffe could jump, pound for pound, as high as a grasshopper... He'd avoid a lot of trouble.

[–]Moose_dope 0 points1 point ago

But monster house can jump

[–]SumthingStupid 0 points1 point ago

What?

[–]senor_coolguy 0 points1 point ago

Good one, Dad

[–]ThatWasTaken 0 points1 point ago

Can someone tell me where I can get more jokes like these?

[–]Geshus 0 points1 point ago

I'm reading this in my head like Tom Tucker.

[–]MeSoCornyyy 0 points1 point ago

What do an elephant and a tomato have in common? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

[–]PSUProud 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, science! Bitch!

[–]shasch 0 points1 point ago

At my parties the house is always jumpin

[–]Dschwarz96 0 points1 point ago

just made this my status

[–]sloballonmyknob 0 points1 point ago

Remember, he said the average house.

[–]hoobsher 0 points1 point ago

sounds like a Mitch Hedberg joke, really.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Someone I know posted this on FB, not sure if it was here or there first..

[–]mmmmmyeeeeeess[S] 0 points1 point ago

Is this someone a politically aspired Ohioan with a beard?

[–]kardigankid 0 points1 point ago

false: All you need is one jumping house and then your average house is a jumper

[–]Chris_yoface2345 0 points1 point ago

That joke is so old

[–]AllThePrettyStars 0 points1 point ago

On a family vacation, we stopped for food at some random diner. A weird guy came up to my brothers and me and started telling jokes.

"Hey kids, I can jump higher than a house. Wanna see?"

He jumps like six inches.

"HOUSES CAN'T JUMP!"

[–]lactose_cow 0 points1 point ago

oh god... this was hilarious, but we cannot let our fathers and lame teachers find out about this...

[–]award07 0 points1 point ago

so...can we eat it?

[–]WannabeBodyBuilder 0 points1 point ago

Well played sir.

[–]matthabitat 0 points1 point ago

You stole this joke from an epiode of Caillou.

[–]mmmmmyeeeeeess[S] 0 points1 point ago

If this indeed came from an episode of Caillou, FB OP stole it from there, i stole it from FB OP

[–]redcube85 0 points1 point ago

I read that as "Science fart!"

Though it was still very funny, it lacked in flatulence.

[–]thischarmingman18 0 points1 point ago

she knows what a mars bar is

[–]Piernitas 0 points1 point ago

I thought it was referring to Santa's reindeer at first...

[–]twowatch 0 points1 point ago

Good job /r/funny , making me laugh and junk.

[–]CuriousMiss 0 points1 point ago

Oh my gosh.

I'm such an idiot.

And obviously well over tired.

I just tried to click the "like" button.

[–]FancyHearingCake 0 points1 point ago

Rephrasing reddit comments, are we?

[–]Kulaid871 0 points1 point ago

But horses can jump... There is a whole damn sport based on that fact...

[–]sevan06 -1 points0 points ago

[–]rulerofthekittehs -1 points0 points ago

this sounds like something Mitch Hedberg would have said, RIP.