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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow all 359

[–]rbslilpanda 718 points719 points ago

Watch out for the Kanye semi right about to run those two off the road...

[–]whiskey06 471 points472 points ago

Imma let you pass...

[–]calicojones 258 points259 points ago

"who was that?"

"i don't know, all i could see was flashing lights."

[–]likwidfuzion 143 points144 points ago

All of the lights?

[–]AiKantSpel 109 points110 points ago

flashingflashingflashingflashing lightslightslightslights

[–]Shyamallamadingdong 6 points7 points ago

thatshitcray

[–]RedOtkbr 52 points53 points ago

he was probably in his lamborghini mercy.

[–]Kon-chezz 36 points37 points ago

I heard his female companion was a bit parched that day.

[–]Clingingtosomething 26 points27 points ago

That woman was trying to turn him into some jamaican cuisine.

[–]Dusted_Hoffman 5 points6 points ago

That car is definitely harder,better,faster and stronger

[–]NorwegianPearl 3 points4 points ago

Mercy mercy me...that murcielago

[–]ksrymy 76 points77 points ago

I don't care if you like Kanye or not, but "Flashing Lights" is an amazing song.

[–]voyaging 55 points56 points ago

It's quite good, but his newest album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is fantastic, definitely one of the best hip hop albums released in the past decade.

And I don't like Kanye West as a person at all. But he's a really good songwriter and producer.

[–]emocol 16 points17 points ago

Yeah, I never really liked him as a person either. But professionally, he's very good at what he does. I recently watched an interview with Fun, and they talked about his strong influence on their decision to incorporate hip hop elements into their music.

[–]gulpeg 19 points20 points ago

I agree, he's an ass but he makes up for it in his songs..

[–]goalstopper28 0 points1 point ago

yeah, it's been out for two years (almost three) and I'm still not tired of it.

[–]squashbanana 6 points7 points ago

"But J.B Hunt has the best truck in town."

[–]iamleighanne 22 points23 points ago

There's a Beyonce car coming in to save the day, it's all good!

[–]Roxxer 19 points20 points ago

[–]AiKantSpel 8 points9 points ago

Wow. That's his real van. At first I thought someone just photoshopped him with pedobear onto an icecream truck.

[–]emocol 4 points5 points ago

We would definitely see some sparks fly.

[–]KanyeWipeMyButtForMe 7 points8 points ago

I ain't sayin' she a goldtrucker ...

... yo I just wrote that shit in BOLD, fucker.

[–]Animal89 300 points301 points ago

I don't know what the fuck you were trying to say with that title, but good job!

[–]Sloppy1sts 73 points74 points ago

I think he meant to say it was "a long time coming." Maybe he's ESL.

[–]USMCsniper 38 points39 points ago

Maybe the time just took a long time to get here.

[–]kcg5 3 points4 points ago

Or a short time to get here? With the bandit?

[–]snailwithmonocle 1 point2 points ago

It means time has waited time enough for itself to come.

[–]RandomIdiot 0 points1 point ago

You're fucking everywhere and I love it

[–]chuckcheddar 16 points17 points ago

Maybe the picture was ejaculating for awhile, who are we to judge?

[–]GhostOfPluto 6 points7 points ago

Its redundancy is pretty redundant.

[–]silentkill144 2 points3 points ago

He meant that this picture was bound to happen eventually.

[–]abbott_costello 1 point2 points ago

I read it as "This has been a long time coming for me" somehow.

[–]That90sShow 1 point2 points ago

The OP was trying to say that Taylor Swift crashes a wedding like JFK Jr. crashes planes.

[–]Mr_Compromise 176 points177 points ago

Taylor Swift? More like, TRAILER Swift, amirite?

[–]Sharkbait_Whohaha 58 points59 points ago

"Is this thing on?"

[–]PirateLordBush 11 points12 points ago

He'll be here all week folks! Tip your waitresses.

[–]ToastyRaichu 13 points14 points ago

Oh you!

[–]calicojones 104 points105 points ago

aww, now they're gonna break up and she'll have to write a semi-popular song about it.

[–]emocol 15 points16 points ago

She'll sing about how they'll never ever ever get back together.

[–]retnuh730 155 points156 points ago

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[–]Qlown 100 points101 points ago

You’ have got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

[–]Disconcerted 52 points53 points ago

just cuz u can’t comrepehdnable the situational understand in to they of those that spoked to the point in understandable them and then comprehend what their said to them and until then dont spoke

[–]Tunesz 20 points21 points ago

[–]DownvoteALot 3 points4 points ago

It's like Charles Manson speaks with Jeffrey Dahmer.

[–]Wuzzle_Maker 13 points14 points ago

[–]FuckOffMightBe2Kind 11 points12 points ago

Any ESL person who reads this transaction will shit their pants

[–]snailwithmonocle 1 point2 points ago

What I can not comprehend is not the fact that I can not comprehend this, but the fact that this makes me laugh so much.

[–]QuiteUnoriginal 4 points5 points ago

Oh, really? The further been have I decided more even than go to need when nothing as though has been almost true not to go more so even as they want.

[–]horse_and_buggy 13 points14 points ago

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

[–]darthn3ss 7 points8 points ago

Is such a thing even possible?

[–]ImperiousRex 1 point2 points ago

are you dyslexic?

[–]kiwifuel 50 points51 points ago

Am I the only one who thinks she looks like a really cute deer?

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 170 points171 points ago

[–]BreakfastBurrito 38 points39 points ago

Angelica's doll, Cynthia.

[–]dave-a-sarus 15 points16 points ago

♫Cynthia, she's a really cool dancer♫

[–]kejosm 7 points8 points ago

Cynthia, boogie to the groove, now

[–]daffodilhill 1 point2 points ago

Come on, girls!

[–]link2213 2 points3 points ago

Why do I remember the tune to those lyrics....

[–]stb14808 38 points39 points ago

I love how nobody ever knows when you'll come around.

I constantly see people posting comments like, "This is the perfect time for Shitty_Watercolour" or, "Where's Shitty_Watercolour when you need him?"

And then you don't show up.

Then someone says Taylor Swift looks like a deer.

And here you are.

[–]imsurroundedby 6 points7 points ago

i thought we were supposed to say your name three times, this is a game changer.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

WE SHALL HOLD OUR PRAYERS AS SUCH YOUR SHITTINESS!

[–]Atario 2 points3 points ago

You realize you just hosed yourself, right?

[–]AScholarlyGentleman 0 points1 point ago

Note to self...

[–]HereForTheOreos 11 points12 points ago

Is..is that blood coming from her mouth?

Oh Deer God

[–]anythingucandoicando 6 points7 points ago

[–]gman_48 1 point2 points ago

DOEP

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

No, it's just a shitty watercolor.

[–]AndreaAmazing 6 points7 points ago

Scariest thing I've seen in a while. I think she wants into my soul.

[–]Ted417 2 points3 points ago

I wouldn't mind.

[–]generouscumshaw 0 points1 point ago

I'd let her come.

[–]goat_mountain 3 points4 points ago

Mr. Tumnus

[–]prose-before-hoes 0 points1 point ago

Breathtaking

[–]iHavemyGreencard 1 point2 points ago

Nice rack, deer.

[–]Rob_Saget 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of this.

[–]Shyamallamadingdong 0 points1 point ago

Hers is the fury

[–]ninja_stalker 20 points21 points ago

Yes. Yes, out of the whole world, you are the only one that thinks that.

[–]D4rkr4in 17 points18 points ago

[–]rossay83 6 points7 points ago

You know, I think i see it now!

[–]Wuzzle_Maker 1 point2 points ago

Spot on!

[–]Dominiking 1 point2 points ago

I think she looks like a cat but no one seems to agree with me.

[–]blaw_blaw 1 point2 points ago

I've always thought she looks like a chipmunk.

[–]FuckOffMightBe2Kind 8 points9 points ago

[–]TheChosenOne013 3 points4 points ago

She is just adorable.

[–]tehmissingframe 4 points5 points ago

She really is. Just so bloody adorable.

[–]Jonny_Watts 0 points1 point ago

You shouldn't be fantasizing about blood

[–]mpierik212 10 points11 points ago

[–]Bronan_the_Brobarian 9 points10 points ago

[–]TSILF 1 point2 points ago

Damn straight. best subreddit around.

[–]Atario -1 points0 points ago

Whatcha want, a cookie?

[–]eljay2121 12 points13 points ago

my dad told me a few years ago Taylor Swift's father owned swift trucking, I looked it up 2 weeks ago.... he doesn't

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 2 points3 points ago

Gotta love dad humor.

[–]sexyhamster89 180 points181 points ago

taylor swift is hot

[–]rogerklutz 37 points38 points ago

[–]FCOS 159 points160 points ago

Grass is green

[–]The_Mosephus 89 points90 points ago

universal truths are truthful.

[–]all_the_sex 24 points25 points ago

Tautologies are tautological.

[–]PlatonicTroglodyte 11 points12 points ago

Facts are factual.

[–]QuiteUnoriginal 13 points14 points ago

Platonic troglodytes are platonically troglodytical.

[–]Edgar4llanPwn 25 points26 points ago

OP is a faggot

[–]ShallowBasketcase 4 points5 points ago

Always.

[–]argv_minus_one 18 points19 points ago

…birds fly, sun shines, and brotha, I hurt people.

[–]iUsedtoHadHerpes 7 points8 points ago

Explain ostriches.

[–]81spammy 5 points6 points ago

You can't explain that!

[–]terriblehuman 3 points4 points ago

she'd have me "coming for a long time"

[–]emocol 10 points11 points ago

I'm actually thinking about fapping to her right now.

[–]crazdave 2 points3 points ago

So... did you do it?

[–]emocol 2 points3 points ago

Yes.

[–]lisabadcat 2 points3 points ago

I'd like to pull upside that bumper and smack that monkey.

[–]Llort3 0 points1 point ago

I disagree.

[–]left-field 7 points8 points ago

If you were the one that actually took the picture, where was it taken?

[–]calc0000 18 points19 points ago

[–]McHappyPants 16 points17 points ago

I have a feeling hannahjoy33 is a she.

[–]calc0000 5 points6 points ago

Duly noted.

[–]VinSwift 0 points1 point ago

It's the grammar mistake, isn't it?

[–]TSILF 1 point2 points ago

Indeed this has been up for a couple days. i considered posting it here but i didnt think people would appreciate it.

[–]timmyduboy 6 points7 points ago

Long time coming?

[–]new-socks 1 point2 points ago

It's been a long time gone.

[–]armander 25 points26 points ago

and that's how T.Swift's mom came up with the name

[–]brownsound45 4 points5 points ago

Exactly what time was it?

[–]notjasonlee 4 points5 points ago

it was a good time for the time that this took place in time

[–]GaryDuder 5 points6 points ago

Wow. You sure were on a J.B. Hunt.

[–]noisess13000 5 points6 points ago

he followed the taylor semi for 2 years to get this picture, and it was totally... worth it!

[–]GaryDuder 0 points1 point ago

Did you get my joke though?

[–]Asymmetric33 20 points21 points ago

[–]snailwithmonocle 2 points3 points ago

Once /r/mildlyinteresting gets more subscribers than the default subreddits it can hardly be called mildly interesting anymore. This would create such an interesting paradox.

[–]jvm4th 6 points7 points ago

I met her at church today

[–]craigh118 9 points10 points ago

where did you go to church! im gonna convert

[–]SpermWhale 13 points14 points ago

Hold on, that's a very swift decision there.

[–]UnawareItsaJoke 3 points4 points ago

I think that church would be very taylored to his needs.

[–]kenbw2 2 points3 points ago

Converting to Christianity? You must be feeling pretty fearless

[–]jvm4th 4 points5 points ago

Im athiest, and had to go along with parents, but it was worth it. Our lady of Victory, Osterville, MA

[–]JoshTheDerp 4 points5 points ago

She came through Wendys drive through whilst my friend was working here, he got an autograph.

[–]rockdme 4 points5 points ago

Ya know... some of these pics I imagine as soon as you realize what is in front of you, you squeal like a little girl as you scramble for your phone.

[–]dja0794 4 points5 points ago

Then they crash and die. Taylor Swift takes another victim.

[–]iamfromouterspace 3 points4 points ago

only doctor who saw this coming.

[–]1_point_21_gigawatts 2 points3 points ago

My friend's last name is Schneider, and one time I was driving him and his drunk girlfriend down the expressway when two trucks lined up to say "SCHNEIDER RYDER" in front of us. His girlfriend looked up, gave a quizzical look, then pointed and said, "HEYYYY, THAT'S MEEEEE!!!!!" It was kind of cute.

[–]partialdread 4 points5 points ago

I do that in Elevators... they all seem to say Shindler here and I always have to say something about Shindler's Lift

[–]Booger_perry 0 points1 point ago

I had a buddy who worked for swift and his last name was swift

[–]SpermWhale 0 points1 point ago

Hoping your friend wont get robbed.

[–]Bazing1980 1 point2 points ago

I drive for Schneider. Not particularly relevant, but I'm laying down in one of their trucks right now and thought it was neat to see my company mentioned. :)

[–]Endophein 3 points4 points ago

Once in a lifetime. Those trucks are never ever getting back together.

[–]SpermWhale 2 points3 points ago

They could, If Only It Was A Movie.

[–]burgercollegedropout 2 points3 points ago

I bet those trucks are never EVER getting back together

[–]Binon 3 points4 points ago

If you say time and time again, you're gonna have a bad time.

[–]arlekin21 2 points3 points ago

This was posted in the Taylor Swift subreddit yesterday.

[–]RandyMachoManSavage 2 points3 points ago

Also amusing: John Mayer allegedly has a massive dong and hit Taylor Swift like a mat truck.

[–]Bazing1980 1 point2 points ago

Isn't he way too old for her?

[–]TheAryanBrotherhood 0 points1 point ago

So have I.

...

;)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]RegalBeard 0 points1 point ago

THE PERFECT STORM

[–]Jaksongitr 0 points1 point ago

You have no idea how long I've waited for this. Thank you, hannahjoy33 for supplying. Saves me from having to take a can of spray paint to a swift truck.

[–]Sloppy1sts 0 points1 point ago

Do you mean to say "this has been a long time coming"?

[–]mackb 0 points1 point ago

All I know is, I'd hate to be the car that breaks up that formation. Queue a new song in 3,2,1...

[–]staroverblue 0 points1 point ago

this time has been coming (and going) for an infinite time.

[–]d_o_double_g 1 point2 points ago

[–]ZofSpade 0 points1 point ago

Time

[–]sha742 0 points1 point ago

I can only imagine the frantic scramble for their phone as someone in the car realized what was about to happen.

[–]federal_inmate 0 points1 point ago

both are rookies company has them set at 62 on the cruise, 64 on the foot flat out

Swift hires anyone, even if you are wearing an ankle monitor and have Jerry Sandusky tattoo on your arm.

They are dangerously new to the industry...

Another Mormon company

[–]Bazing1980 2 points3 points ago

Swift has thousands of employees, most of whom are not new. I've been driving for eight years at one of those "rookie" companies. Also, statistically newer drivers are LESS likely to cause a major accident. You don't know nearly as much as you think you do.

[–]Zhyl 0 points1 point ago

Once the same thing happened with two trucks that together were the name of the girl I had a crush on at the time.

[–]Ceejae -1 points0 points ago

This is photoshopped. You can tell because they spelled tailor wrong.

[–]jhendrix7000 0 points1 point ago

Isn't this how they came up with her name?!?

[–]fancydad 0 points1 point ago

I'm glad this time that the time has come. Just in time. Time.

[–]rlkeener911 0 points1 point ago

I see a break up song coming once the first car exits.......

[–]chuckcheddar 0 points1 point ago

Now they'll never have to be alone.

[–]FAT_B 0 points1 point ago

I heard she's really well dressed, She has the best taylor in town!

[–]radioladiohead 0 points1 point ago

Ha, what's your tumblr URL, OP?

[–]Vorcyn 0 points1 point ago

[–]Lunchables 0 points1 point ago

This time has been coming for a long time

What time? Taylor Swift time?

[–]Bronan_the_Brobarian -1 points0 points ago

Because taking a photo while driving on the highway is a very wise thing to do

[–]mikethecoder 0 points1 point ago

Seeing the word "time" in the title twice really bugs me

[–]GuessWho_O 0 points1 point ago

Noble victory.

[–]Luthus 0 points1 point ago

This is a test don't answer

[–]stopmakingsense 0 points1 point ago

Prediction: By Wednesday this will be on every soccer mom's FB page with an overly enthusiastic caption containing excessive exclamation points.

[–]PigFarmington 0 points1 point ago

I'd rather you drive and not take photos

[–]partialdread 1 point2 points ago

and not one comment about the alleged cold shoulder she's getting from the Kennedy's. I can't wait for the song: "I want in, want in, want in, to the wedding, wedding!...."

[–]theaccountlesslurker 1 point2 points ago

Awe :] My mom and dad both drive for swift so every time I see one of their trucks I smile...which is all the time because they are everywhere!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Pykoh 0 points1 point ago

When the planets align...

[–]RLTW1994 0 points1 point ago

Bro, this was in r/taylorswift days ago....

[–]darien_gap 0 points1 point ago

That's Vonnegut's Sirens of Titan weird.

[–]Bronze_Kneecap 0 points1 point ago

Seems safe.

[–]AutisticTroll 1 point2 points ago

This time has been coming for a long time?

[–]TLKoontz 0 points1 point ago

Synchronicity

[–]judgementaljuicedrop 1 point2 points ago

"yea can you guys just drive next to eachother so i can get a quick picture"

r/karmaconspiracy

[–]K33PTRYIN 0 points1 point ago

awesome ur a WINNER

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

[–]Sqrrrl 0 points1 point ago

Taylor Swifting

[–]dopegirlswag 0 points1 point ago

Oh this is rich.

[–]MrJolly22 0 points1 point ago

Bad ass. Taylor Swift for the win.

[–]Asterisk007 0 points1 point ago

[–]bormax52 0 points1 point ago

This title has been redundant for a long time

[–]cmxxiv 0 points1 point ago

Oh long johnson

[–]Shadow_Domo 0 points1 point ago

The prophecy has come true!

[–]MrAgoo 1 point2 points ago

now I got a semi for taylor swift

[–]federal_inmate 0 points1 point ago

Swift belongs in the right lane.

[–]imnotwitty 0 points1 point ago

This is probably the only situation in which rear-ending Taylor Swift is a bad thing.