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all 82 comments

[–]FerretPantaloons 21 points22 points ago

I like that he has a wingman beside him in a matching pink tux.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

Even giraffes need wingmen.

[–]gulpeg 14 points15 points ago

Great, now I have no chance picking up girls.. They're all looking for the tall, dark and handsome type

[–]simon_birch_ 9 points10 points ago

Have you heard what he can do with his tongue?

[–]YouSmellLikeBurning 56 points57 points ago

[–]HGual-B-gone 12 points13 points ago

I also mate with female dogs.

[–]elr3y 4 points5 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

I only like male.

[–]penation4000 4 points5 points ago

Poor Colby...

[–]broden 0 points1 point ago

Poor Colby. He'll never find a true home. Living his life like a square in a circle hole.

[–]Sockpockets 1 point2 points ago

...

[–]arktouros 1 point2 points ago

Names/labels definitely changes the context of a statement. For example, a pedophile that says "Oh, I love kids!" is much different than a parent of 4 saying the same thing.

Just like how an animation of a penis becoming erect changes from someone named raping_horsefucker66.

[–]arktouros 0 points1 point ago

My first thought was with the added line. "I came here to fuck over bitches."

[–]parkerjames 4 points5 points ago

[–]WhamFlambe 3 points4 points ago

Is that one of those specially trained rape giraffes?

[–]thatronguy 3 points4 points ago

Hate to be that guy but I posted this 4 months ago, and Im pretty sure it was a repost then too. http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ribhe/serious_buisness/?sort=confidence

[–]juxtaposer43 7 points8 points ago

To kick ass and chew bubble gum?

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 6 points7 points ago

He just finished his bubble gum

[–]EpicJ 0 points1 point ago

[–]luna16 5 points6 points ago

[–]ecksfactor 0 points1 point ago

The deepest throat in the stuffed animal kingdom

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 5 points6 points ago

That's a tall order.

[–]IndianaJwns 4 points5 points ago

Really putting your neck on the line with that one

[–]AndrewRK 1 point2 points ago

How many pun threads are you successful in starting?

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 1 point2 points ago

In all seriousness, like 20 a day.

[–]AndrewRK 1 point2 points ago

Keep it up man.

[–]uk2knerf 7 points8 points ago

Obligatory:

Geraffe are so dumb.

EDIT: sorry, the only reason i say this is that this geraffe in this picture is trying to eat a painting. i should say that this one particular geraffe is dumb.

EDIT: hey asshats quit downvoting me i am not the one who tried to eat the wall.

EDIT: hey before you hit that down arrow why don't you ask yourself why you can't take a joke you losers. jesus the pc crap has extended to long horses? because that is all those things are, and no one was bawling when that chimp got shot for eating that lady's face. so are you racist for long horses over gorillas? hippocrites.

EDIT: is it a bunch of peta lamebrains doing this? did my one little joke hit some kind of tree-hugger blog or some shit? i have never so much as even spit on a geraffe! wtf? i ate lion one time, it was in a burger; i had alligator, and something they told me was eagle but i'm positive it was just chicken. whatever anyone is saying about me and geraffes is not even true. but go on farteaters, downvote away. it shows how stupid you are.

EDIT: spelling.

EDIT: this is such shit. i have never received as much as one single downvote in my life and you peckers are jumping on this stupid geraffe-loving bandwagon. that is a dumb goddamn wall-licking geraffe and that is all. i'm not going to apologize to you idiots any more.

EDIT: you know, now my feelings are hurt. the amount of downvotes piled on me is just excessive. god for-fucking-bid i had commented on a post about an antteater, i would be at -1000 by now. you people are horrible.

[–]swineiscool 6 points7 points ago

... What are you even saying right now?

[–]uk2knerf 8 points9 points ago

Are you telling me you've never seen the greatest comment ever made on reddit?

[–]babingbongbang 2 points3 points ago

I know I hadn't seen it, but now it is saved.

[–]Jegschemesch 0 points1 point ago

It's an ancient reddit-thread meme.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]uk2knerf 1 point2 points ago

I did below, I figured most people would be too lazy to click the link.

[–]Nesman64 2 points3 points ago

Ironically, they're not too lazy to click the blue arrow.

[–]TheCraterProject 0 points1 point ago

No amount of edits can save you from my blue/purpleish downward facing arrow.

[–]Wethequeens13 0 points1 point ago

Woooooossshhh

[–]ayyymacarena 3 points4 points ago

i'm not sure how to read this... "I came here to fuck, bitches!" or "I came here to fuck bitches."

[–]GroundWalkingGarbage 4 points5 points ago

Yes

[–]brussels4breakfast 0 points1 point ago

Gonna be hard for a girl to hug his neck.

[–]inheritor 1 point2 points ago

Nice username. I went to their concert last night. \m/\m/

[–]M374llic4[S] 0 points1 point ago

Thanks bud, how was it? Been using this name since around 01 lol.

[–]CliffThaRiff 0 points1 point ago

Makemebad35's magical giraffe?

[–]Iredditallover 0 points1 point ago

"...and give people a chance to talk about me. That goddamn elephant in the room has had enough attention for fucks sake!"

[–]sirkablaam 0 points1 point ago

Yeah this would've made prom about 50 times cooler instead of dancing around sweaty people for 5 hours.

[–]Aezzle 1 point2 points ago

As a tall guy I always feel like that.

[–]Saint_Faptrick 0 points1 point ago

this is sad

[–]RedditumYumYum 0 points1 point ago

They are called cows!

[–]kou5oku 0 points1 point ago

This looks like it was ordered for this bitchin-ass party. Who the hell orders a giraffe to hang out on the side of the party room? What other animals made up this mad menagerie?

[–]Virtual-Aidz 0 points1 point ago

Well I didnt come here to dance.

No seriously, nobody wants to dance with the way to tall guy.

[–]pschic_powers 0 points1 point ago

The pixels...

[–]ungr8ful_biscuit 0 points1 point ago

Good, because you clearly aren't getting any head.

[–]Walksonthree 0 points1 point ago

You went there to do the drunk giraffe

[–]teddypicker55 0 points1 point ago

R E P O S T.

[–]RonaldTheGiraffe 0 points1 point ago

I approve. Please, have an upvote

[–]M374llic4[S] 0 points1 point ago

Much appreciated, sir.

[–]suspiciously_helpful 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone have this picture without the macro text?

[–]maip23 0 points1 point ago

Seeing this on my thumbnail, I didn't realize it said "Bitches" until I scrolled down which made it that much funnier.

[–]lostintime7 0 points1 point ago

This made me laugh way more then it should have.

[–]haveIgotahandle 0 points1 point ago

I'm not exactly sure why that line is there though

[–]JessePinkmanSays 0 points1 point ago

Yeah Bitch!

[–]DoctorRavioli 0 points1 point ago

I had J.B. Smoove's voice in my head when I read the words.

[–]tiMmyLarge 0 points1 point ago

Read this with David Schwimmer voice! Haha.

[–]ThisIsDefinitelyAGun 0 points1 point ago

Ryan stiles is quite the ladies man.

[–]UnseenAlchemist -1 points0 points ago

This how NBA players feel when partying with asians.

[–]crunchybuttburger 0 points1 point ago

This is how Yao Ming feels when playing in the NBA.

[–]PublicUrinator 0 points1 point ago

Oh you guys are silly, no this is from that Sweet Sixteen episode where the annoying girl begs daddy for a pink Ferrari and he says something like "don't worry puddin' I got it" and later presents her a giraffe at the party. She's obviously upset that the giraffe is not even the colour she wanted and the dad has no idea what he did wrong. That's where that's from.

[–]ipromack 0 points1 point ago

TIL that OP is a giraffe

[–]zzzpr 0 points1 point ago

Go with a giraffe to a party and you'll find the bitches!

[–]styckyrs 0 points1 point ago

I read this like a mathematical expression: I came here to fuck over bitches

[–]CommunistPenguin 0 points1 point ago

He has life figured out.

[–]YoMamasObamaTheLama 0 points1 point ago

[–]DaBouse 0 points1 point ago

AND GET MONEY

[–]policies94 0 points1 point ago

LOL so randum!!!1.

[–]brakstone91 0 points1 point ago

Fry... he must have spent a fortune on ties!...

[–]NEVER-FORGET 2 points3 points ago

A ROMAN ASSASSIN WAS PUBLICLY RAPED BY A SPECIALLY TRAINED GIRAFFE AS PUNISHMENT.

[–]Puppier 1 point2 points ago

Well that's just fucking weird.

[–]LeHerpDerpson -5 points-4 points ago

LOL so randum!!!1

[–]sh2248 -2 points-1 points ago

Hope he doesn't hit his head on the chandelier.

[–]Detective_JohnKimble 0 points1 point ago

Pink is alpha as fuck. r/seduction better have their notebooks out.