this post was submitted on
1,872 points (53% like it)
14,388 up votes 12,516 down votes

funny

subscribe2,430,045 readers

8,702 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 154 comments

[–]NukeWinter 152 points153 points ago

Just a shout out for the folks who post the backstories... Thank you kindly. You make my time on Reddit more enjoyable.

Edit: Not sarcasm. Helps keep me in the loop.

[–]ClockStalker 42 points43 points ago

/u/NukeWinter: Analyzing 133 comments and submissions over the last 170 days

  • Most active hour: 2-3am UTC (0.088 posts/hour)
  • Least active hours: 8-11am, 9-10pm UTC (0 posts/hour)
  • Complete hourly breakdown

Hypothesized location: Western North America

Tempus neminem manet

[–]NukeWinter 14 points15 points ago

Hahaha, nice. Never seen this one before.

[–]LonelyRasta 3 points4 points ago

Gets it in again! I love this guy.

[–]whytofly 0 points1 point ago

I want to see one for apostolate

[–]I_Feed_Off_Downvotes -5 points-4 points ago

Do me!!

[–]Zaicil 16 points17 points ago

THANK YOU. I was wondering what I missed.

[–]Phyics_Son 7 points8 points ago

wow! that woman is a fucking D'vinci!

[–]felixjawesome 6 points7 points ago

I think she made the original painting ten times better. I love the part where she "admitted causing the damage when she realized it had 'gotten out of hand.'"

Greatest work of Post-modernism since 9/11.

[–]Phyics_Son 0 points1 point ago

I must agree with you. This may just be r/spaceclop quality

[–]johnjohnson1234 12 points13 points ago

Anyone else find it ironic that the 'restoration' of the fresco is now a hell of a lot more famous than the original. Fuck, I'd travel to Spain to see it.

[–]felixjawesome 9 points10 points ago

YES. These are the stories that will fill the textbooks on Art History in the 21st century.

[–]BobertBilliam 3 points4 points ago

Art students... They make good fries.

[–]felixjawesome 0 points1 point ago

I am offended. I'm not some lowly fry-cook....I deliver pizzas! Its a much more noble food industry job....wind in my hair, tunes on the stereo, and I get paid in singles like a stripper. (But in all seriousness, I teach art for a living).

[–]BobertBilliam 0 points1 point ago

I don't think you understand my meaning... I make good fries out of art students...

[–]felixjawesome 0 points1 point ago

DUN DUN DUN.

[–]abom420 2 points3 points ago

I KNEW I recognized those beautiful eyes from somewhere.

[–]Dunning-KE 3 points4 points ago

ENHANCE

[–]lobehold 3 points4 points ago

I'm in Canada, it's in the paper this morning, apparently it's a 20th century fresco done by local painter of mostly sentimental values. Link

TL;DR: The fresco was done recently and not worth much

[–]ShutupBiz 2 points3 points ago

Thank you! this entire time I kept clicking on links and was like... "what the fuck is that? "

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

i'm surprised orangutan jesus has survived in the threads this long

[–]NukeWinter -1 points0 points ago

Not sure if misspelled douche or Dutch...

[–]Idonotfeardeathdoyou -1 points0 points ago

Even with the back story this still doesn't seem very clever

[–]SHEEEIIIIIIITTTT 0 points1 point ago

nice username toolbag

[–]Idonotfeardeathdoyou 1 point2 points ago

I sowwie, i not mean it to be offensive D:

[–]madplayshd -3 points-2 points ago

I wonder if thats the faith of all art.

[–]elderezlo 43 points44 points ago

Someone please make a toaster that does this to every piece.

[–]SupremeSlice 32 points33 points ago

I suppose you could draw it on this one.

[–]stefmor90 16 points17 points ago

What is this and where can I get one?

[–]honeyfage 11 points12 points ago

It's just a design. Not a real device

[–]iObeyTheHivemind 18 points19 points ago

All of my hopes were made an dashed in a matter of about 4 seconds.

[–]Kaelidoz 1 point2 points ago

PM me we need to mak€ thi$ and profit.

[–]Uono 5 points6 points ago

If that was real we'd all have them.

BURDEN OF PROOF!

[–]Kiassen 13 points14 points ago

Dick toast every morning!

Except Wednesdays. I like curse words on my toast on Wednesdays.

[–]danrennt98 1 point2 points ago

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

[–]ogotrice 2 points3 points ago

[–]MOARfrosting 2 points3 points ago

I'm making a Heisenberg toaster... LADIES, right this way.

[–]nonumbers 0 points1 point ago

That's hilarious.

[–]btinc 1 point2 points ago

Here you go. They will make a toaster for you that will toast any custom design.

One thing to note: a friend sent me the Jesus Toaster that they make. It arrived non-functioning, and there was no response from the company when I tried to exchange it, or get it fixed. :-(

[–]iMasticate 0 points1 point ago

Perhaps if you emailed this Fine Entrepreneur, he might design one.

[–]Stacular 0 points1 point ago

[–]phillythebeaut 0 points1 point ago

im trying without modding my toaster. brb. running to the store to buy 6 more loaves.

[–]Monsterki13 0 points1 point ago

Like the spongebob one! No other toast is good enough for me

[–]michaelboston80 14 points15 points ago

Yet it still looks better than her 'restoration'...

[–]FrogDie 20 points21 points ago

I love the burn tool on Photoshop!

[–]witchwoman 2 points3 points ago

Uses the burn tool to burn his toast. He is better at making toast than I.

[–]thespaceoddity 5 points6 points ago

I really wonder if anyone's gotten tattoos of that yet.

[–]boshajones 5 points6 points ago

Can someone please explain this face, I still have no idea...

[–]Smy90 14 points15 points ago

Some old lady completely ruined a priceless piece of art.

[–]nwsreddit 4 points5 points ago

While publicly trying to restore it. There's a video of her, she's pretty funny and seems sorry. It was discovered by others.

[–]MasterLJ 3 points4 points ago

When keeping it real goes wrong...

"I got this, bro"

[–]dookyface 1 point2 points ago

Jesus got stuck in a toaster

[–]rev2 -1 points0 points ago

Same m8, not a damned clue :(

[–]rev2 3 points4 points ago

You deserve the upvote, thanks :D

[–]MyNameIs_shikashika 8 points9 points ago

Lol, I swear to Monkey Jesus I'm going to upvote all these. xD

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

So what's the official name for this painting? I'm putting my buck behind 'rhesus jesus'

[–]jmaddox28 6 points7 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 43 points44 points ago

Haha get it, because 9gag sucks, let's bitch about them all the time in completely irrelevant threads.

[–]Pwoshi 14 points15 points ago

Yeah, and reddit NEVER does this. You know... Claiming they made something.. That they didn't...

[–]vpookie 3 points4 points ago

[–]Black-Box -5 points-4 points ago

Lets see how long it takes this to get to 9gag.

[–]Tipsyy 1 point2 points ago

Maybe that's what jesus actually looks like

and the person painting it got a cleansed mind and changed the picture to show the correct picture

[–]gazooga 0 points1 point ago

Grilled Cheesus!!

[–]PostPostModernism -1 points0 points ago

ERTS A MAHRERCL!

[–]MottoScotto -1 points0 points ago

thats the derpiest miracle I've ever seen

[–]SpaceToaster 1 point2 points ago

It's a little known fact the the Photoshop burn tool was invented specifically for drawing religious images on toast.

[–]donagan -1 points0 points ago

If it isn't an image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster then it's just a curiosity.

[–]MustacheBus -1 points0 points ago

I can not describe how giddy this picture made me! Many thanks!

[–]sim713 0 points1 point ago

[–]crutch-touch -1 points0 points ago

oh jesus why did you have to ride those motorcycles on the freeway :.(

[–]MathewMurdock -1 points0 points ago

Yeah guys I think the horse is dead already.

[–]jaimeelee 0 points1 point ago

Picasso has risen!

[–]cornbread_tp 0 points1 point ago

My favorite part is how if you look at it right it looks like its givin you the stink eye

[–]nigrodamus7 -1 points0 points ago

Like the ICP, I see Miracles every day. Magnets, how the fuck do they work!?

[–]trappedinsuburbia 0 points1 point ago

Variations on this Jesus theme have been posted constantly the past few days.

I am fine with this.

[–]im_talking_ace -1 points0 points ago

Jesus Christ.

[–]hollisterbetch -1 points0 points ago

I swear I started smelling toast when I saw that.

[–]merzachief 0 points1 point ago

I love Reddit's inside jokes. I've been seing a lot of this and Colby lately.

[–]us3rnamealreadytaken 0 points1 point ago

this story depresses me because i can totally see my slow mom taking up this offer and messing it up like this

[–]zzzplayer 0 points1 point ago

[–]sweetpotatosaurus -1 points0 points ago

I feel like this joke is going to last for a long time.

[–]iwantcookie258 -1 points0 points ago

Grilled cheesus!!

[–]nutano 0 points1 point ago

Any reference to that story makes me laugh... this toast-job is well done.

[–]FreakshowThom 0 points1 point ago

Toast looks a little dry, put some "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus" on it.

[–]Teahes 0 points1 point ago

No sir, that is toast.

[–]WickedMystic4 0 points1 point ago

Wait, hold on! Move the beans! Move the rice! Its Maria!

[–]LovesCheeseburgers 0 points1 point ago

A picture of a potato in a piece of toast? I already knew potatoes are real.

[–]rocketparrotlet 0 points1 point ago

Welp, looks like Jesus found an extra chromosome somewhere.

[–]NORMALMUMMY 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant.

[–]learn2burn 0 points1 point ago

I will pay $20,000 dollars for the piece of toast with Jesus' face on it!

[–]landrict 0 points1 point ago

I didn't know toast burned red.

[–]Prodigga 0 points1 point ago

[–]blargman 0 points1 point ago

Just me or does this whole story seem mean to the woman? I mean I get it, she fucked up. How is her humiliation national news?

[–]micktheprick 0 points1 point ago

I can't believe it's not buddha!!!

[–]Trunkers 0 points1 point ago

I don't know when I'll get tired of these, but it's not today.

[–]The-Flying-Spoon 0 points1 point ago

Called it.

[–]les1moore 0 points1 point ago

Grilled Cheesus

[–]throwaway123454321 0 points1 point ago

xposted to /r/monkeyjesus

[–]I_Lase_You 0 points1 point ago

Overly Attached Girlfriend is TOAST!

[–]nathanlegit 1 point2 points ago

My thought process while loading:

"I swear to god if this is the picture of that lady getting out of her wheelchair for wine I'm gonna swagger punch a bitch"

::image loads::

IT'S A MIRACLE!

[–]dumbgaytheist -1 points0 points ago

That looks like Homer Simpson's gray alien hybrid.

[–]CaptinCrunchies 1 point2 points ago

Jisus pls

[–]D4F7 -2 points-1 points ago

Well played

[–]LovePhaser -2 points-1 points ago

Note to self: Don't eat rice and surf Reddit... It leads to serious discomfort.

[–]BrorannasaursRex 1 point2 points ago

Rice intollerant?

[–]LovePhaser -1 points0 points ago

I prefer "Rice-ist"

[–]Beast_and_the_harlot 0 points1 point ago

How is this relevant?

[–]Scrotonimus 1 point2 points ago

He laughed, rice flew into his nose, discomfort is had by all

[–]OWSucks -2 points-1 points ago

lmao fucking brilliant

[–]evil_monk 0 points1 point ago

This time we can believe that it's not butter.

[–]speakthespeech -2 points-1 points ago

So the meme begins...

[–]cheeseburgz -2 points-1 points ago

I'm no artist, and I cannot profess to have a deep appreciation for art, but I was sad when I heard that this woman fucked up a piece of art because she thought she was helping. It's a piece of history lost, and it will never come again.

EDIT: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but downvotes are a dagger to the heart.

[–]Outsidebox 0 points1 point ago

I was sad until the funny pictures.

[–]Spicypieces -3 points-2 points ago

Thank you for not having " look at the toast i made"

[–]Zeppelin415 -2 points-1 points ago

Yes Sir!!!

[–]iamrory 0 points1 point ago

That face is still making me laugh.

Whatever damage that lady caused was worth it for the comedy gold.

[–]The_GeoD -2 points-1 points ago

I don't beleive there are enough redditers to upvote this as many times as it deserves.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

The resemblance is uncanny.

Amazing! The Lord works in mysterious ways.

[–]stkchk4 -2 points-1 points ago

howdjudothat

[–]ElfmanLV -2 points-1 points ago

Homer grew hair! It IS a miracle!

[–]iam4real -2 points-1 points ago

Breaking bread.

[–]FuCKiNTowel -2 points-1 points ago

QUICK! PUT IT ON EBAY

[–]_Order66 -2 points-1 points ago

Put that on ebay ASAP!

[–]cookiebreath -2 points-1 points ago

Lasers?!

[–]Zayadur -1 points0 points ago

[–]pleaseremembermyname -2 points-1 points ago

Jesus christ, the man who can turn bread into toast.

[–]cookiebreath -2 points-1 points ago

Anyone can find Jesus in a piece of toast. Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling... http://i.imgur.com/6cBLx.jpg

[–]ropers 0 points1 point ago

Whoever did this is a gentleman and a scholar.

[–]NoKidsFourDogs -2 points-1 points ago

Ermahgerd Jersers!

[–]ehhemmer -1 points0 points ago

pobermark?

[–]TheLivingAwesome -2 points-1 points ago

No it's a jew. You're silly.

[–]TheGOO -3 points-2 points ago

The other side of the toast should be an image of potato.

[–]HeyThereLittleGirl -3 points-2 points ago

...kind of.

[–]vinunleaded0301 -3 points-2 points ago

Impressive

[–]Wongehchuu -3 points-2 points ago

Grilled cheesus!

[–]sonya_lena -3 points-2 points ago

It's Breadus!

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

man that lady in spain is going to hell after defacing christ like that LOL

[–]GetHighr 0 points1 point ago

That will teach her!

[–]draivaden -4 points-3 points ago

WHY IS THIS STILL A THING?!