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top 200 commentsshow all 292

[–]Po0zleP0under 371 points372 points ago

Jokes on him, I am already on a toilet

[–]artsyangel 127 points128 points ago

So am I, toilet buddies?

[–]Po0zleP0under 47 points48 points ago

yup, lets shake on it after we wash our hands

[–]artsyangel 27 points28 points ago

yay!!

[–]Sk8r115 12 points13 points ago

Can I come too?

[–]artsyangel 25 points26 points ago

Sure, just bring your own toilet with you.

[–]Sk8r115 18 points19 points ago

But it's HEAAAAAAAAVYYYY

[–]BurntTheToast 29 points30 points ago

So is your jaw

[–]Sk8r115 17 points18 points ago

So's that poop you're holding in

[–]EndorphinRush 6 points7 points ago

[–]DatCanadianGuy 11 points12 points ago

BYOT?

[–]iHavemyGreencard 3 points4 points ago

But I own a bidet

[–]silvers11 2 points3 points ago

is this a closed relationship, or are you two open to a little triple-toilet action?

[–]BoringUsername1 6 points7 points ago

[–]AceVenturaPD 5 points6 points ago

No, you must both have at least a little of each others fecal matter on your hands when shaking in order to make it a valid friendship. Friendshit.

[–]Atmozfears 89 points90 points ago

[–]allhailxenu 2 points3 points ago

wheres shitty_Watercolor when you need him

[–]Thetonyp 2 points3 points ago

I'm in too, at this point, reddit is almost exclusively a bathroom activity. My legs will be amputated because of it, I'm sure.

[–]UtterMallard 5 points6 points ago

I came here to say this while dropping a deuce as well. Red-a-shit-ing?

Edit: goddamn, a ton of people must have alien blue...

[–]mick4state 175 points176 points ago

Well, thirty seconds ago I was completely comfortable...

[–]Nebulaoblivion 3 points4 points ago

I can't stop fucking scratching god damn..

Also I feel like OP could have gone with Lacey Vicich to prove his point, instead of making us all uncomfortable.

[–]GroundhogExpert 127 points128 points ago

Just another reason why OP is full of dicks.

[–]FOR_SClENCE 90 points91 points ago

[–]irish_toys 36 points37 points ago

[–]Patricko96 0 points1 point ago

[–]camnui 13 points14 points ago

There really is a gif for everything...

[–]ThatsSciencetastic 9 points10 points ago

There are a LOT of 'OP is a fag' gifs floating around 4chan.

Not that I would know.

[–]steezy_mcsteez 17 points18 points ago

The weight of my jaw has never bothered me... until now

[–]BlazeDozer 90 points91 points ago

Those have never affected me

[–]chris-topher 55 points56 points ago

Except you lost the...you know...game.

[–]demolisher71 37 points38 points ago

I cared about the game once. It's not a big deal

[–]vernonhardapple13 9 points10 points ago

The game is the game.

[–]SeeYouInTea 6 points7 points ago

I'm confused. What is the game? Is there a game at all? What am I missing here?

[–]theotherguyonline 29 points30 points ago

The rules of the game are this:

  1. you are always playing the game
  2. whenever you think of the game you lose
  3. when you lose you have to announce: "I just lost the game".

You are now playing the game and you have just lost.

[–]muhaku2 8 points9 points ago

.> I know a douche who put a sign that said "you lost the game" outside of his dorm room window. Just knowing it was there made me lose on a daily basis.

[–]Jenkiiins 2 points3 points ago

The point of The Game is to not think about The Game. If you think about The Game, you lose and you generally must publicly announce such when you do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)

[–]ohmyshit 2 points3 points ago

You must be new here.

Anytime you think about the game, you lose. Don't think about it and you win.. until you think about it again.

[–]GoodWhiteShark 4 points5 points ago

I thought you only won the game if the prime minister of the UK publicly announces that he lost the game.

[–]FireReadyAim 15 points16 points ago

[–]K1LL3RM0NG0 5 points6 points ago

there really is an XKCD for every situation

[–]KleurenPrinter 1 point2 points ago

I once had this really crazy trip with a bunch of friends and somehow we made the mind game our own own mind game and now it's a positive thing when we lose because when one of us loses we enter a thought-space which is really nice because we're all such good friends and stuff

yay LSD

[–]MissIndigo 9 points10 points ago

Wat.

[–]epiphonecasino 2 points3 points ago

Same, In one eye out the... other?

[–]WeLoveKanjimari 37 points38 points ago

I've never seen the jaw one before.

...It's so heavy ;-;

[–]SatchmoPhipps 20 points21 points ago

It's no problem when you've got a STRONG JAW!

[–]kingyosh 28 points29 points ago

You call that a jaw? THIS is a jaw!

[–]luckybuck 7 points8 points ago

What the hell is this from?

[–]kingyosh 3 points4 points ago

A old Maxibon commercial. It was pretty awesome.

[–]pieguyfry22 4 points5 points ago

It's like a muscle-beard.

[–]nonax 4 points5 points ago

[–]pieguyfry22 2 points3 points ago

Oh god please tell me that's not wasabi.

[–]kighl 9 points10 points ago

my tongue is itchy

[–]Carty75 5 points6 points ago

My tongue is heavy

[–]Chexonfire 3 points4 points ago

My pot is heavy

[–]4_word_replies_only 6 points7 points ago

My pot is tongue

[–]Chexonfire 7 points8 points ago

Penis.

[–]4_word_replies_only 11 points12 points ago

You broke the circle.

[–]unicorv 28 points29 points ago

That stopped working after the first time I read it.

[–]UnearthlyStew 24 points25 points ago

Dammit, he's right. There is no comfortable "pot" in my mouth...

[–]frodwith 15 points16 points ago

The easiest one to remedy, my friend...

[–]Octopusbread 30 points31 points ago

ok

[–]Swerdman55 5 points6 points ago

The whole "Tongue just sitting in your mouth" never gets me. I don't get it. My tongue is pretty comfortable in my mouth. It has a nice little bed right in my lower teeth.

[–]HALTWHITMAN 5 points6 points ago

The last one. Ugh, you motherfuckers.

[–]02471 5 points6 points ago

This isn't a reason; it's an example of an asshole.

[–]RageOfGandalf 6 points7 points ago

TIL No one on r/funny has ever been on 4chan ever. This is a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost's repost. We have to go deeper.

[–]criminitlynutsy 2 points3 points ago

to that end, why do I have the feeling that no one on r/funny has ever been on reddit?

[–]desynch 5 points6 points ago

my tongue likes uncomfortable pot anyway.

[–]badasskitten95 3 points4 points ago

Well, fuck.

[–]lostmatthew 3 points4 points ago

Shit!! I lost!

[–]81830 6 points7 points ago

I've seen this before, but damn it's clever.

[–]UGJS 6 points7 points ago

Im high this does nothing

[–]sadderdaysunday 21 points22 points ago

Thank God. I was getting worried someone wasn't going to post this today.

[–]keikii 13 points14 points ago

I've never seen this before. Stop assuming everyone on the internet sees the same things as you.

[–]howatkr 0 points1 point ago

well. Fuck.

[–]CerealBowl21 0 points1 point ago

Fuck this. Made me laugh

[–]Meperson7 2 points3 points ago

Wow, I feel as thought i just got beat up by a 4chan post.

[–]greybro 2 points3 points ago

the lack of a pot in my mouth for my tongue has haunted me for years ;_;

[–]Sturberman 1 point2 points ago

I hate it when the post made me think about there being no comfortable pot in my mouth to plant my tongue in.

[–]arche22 2 points3 points ago

[–]tenkei 2 points3 points ago

You son of a bitch. You are dead to me.

[–]Fancy_Pantsu 1 point2 points ago

FUCK! I haven't lost the game in months, and now this... T_T

[–]MarcosElMentiroso 1 point2 points ago

Le I'll repost le this le post on le reddit and get tons of le karma! PROFIT?????????

[–]jaynellll 1 point2 points ago

God damnit the final sentence.

[–]westerchester 1 point2 points ago

I...I...god damn it. You got me.

[–]clonekiller 1 point2 points ago

I was winning until game.

[–]Nehalania 0 points1 point ago

Damn my jaw feels heavy now.

[–]ahampster 1 point2 points ago

Must....not....scratch...

[–]Jibbs74 1 point2 points ago

This fucked my day up

[–]thecreamfilling 0 points1 point ago

WELL FUCK

[–]JustSoWitty 0 points1 point ago

Well, this works

[–]gothicmaster 1 point2 points ago

HAH my body itched in 2 places !

[–]sboogaloo 0 points1 point ago

I just had a sever allergy attack causing me to be covered in a full body rash.

Yes, at least one part of me is itching right now. Thanks, Troy McClure.

[–]MrDoe -1 points0 points ago

HAHA DID NOT READ!

[–]psych00range 0 points1 point ago

FUCK I LOST ASSHOLES

[–]scottoh 0 points1 point ago

Damnit, I was almost there until I realized I hadn't cleared my throat in a long while...

[–]I_CAPE_RUNTS 0 points1 point ago

DAMMIT

[–]MissingSomeBeard 0 points1 point ago

I have just lost the game

[–]OverAnalysisIsDumb 1 point2 points ago

I have become too powerful for 4Chanism to affect me.

TOOOOO POWAAAAAHHHFULLLLL.

[–]magpie_star 0 points1 point ago

I just lost...

[–]Mardoxx 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it.

[–]Jizzanthapuss 0 points1 point ago

I recognize it before I even read it. This fucking image screws me up for weeks.

[–]tR5fONmyH 0 points1 point ago

The jaw one. Damn it.

[–]pib712 -1 points0 points ago

manual (ˈmænjʊəl) — adj

  1. of or relating to a hand or hands

  2. operated or done by hand

I don't think it's even possibly to breathe or swallow manually.

[–]ITS_GON_RAIN 1 point2 points ago

I dont know about you but all those worked on me

[–]fattestmonk 1 point2 points ago

Damn, how did I have my tongue in my mouth 30 seconds ago...

[–]kokowam 0 points1 point ago

I must be a masochist for reading the entire post.

[–]Not_A_Lemon 0 points1 point ago

Jokes on him, I just got my wisdom teeth out and can't feel my tongue

[–]WhitePostIt 0 points1 point ago

I didn't realize what was going on, until I subconsciously cleared my throat.

And damnit, there's no comfortable position for my tongue.

[–]littlecoffee 0 points1 point ago

I want to downvote this because by association, you're a dick for making me read this.

[–]x-07 0 points1 point ago

I have a drunkard's immunity to this. Ha ha! Except for reading it in Phil Hartman's voice.

[–]Ashendarei 0 points1 point ago

indeed so, but still amusing.

[–]SoftShock2294 0 points1 point ago

Damnit, I'm so uncomfortable now.

[–]Sirspen 0 points1 point ago

The one that always gets me is "You are now aware that your nose is always in your peripheral vision"

[–]90percent_noob 0 points1 point ago

Where do you guys get the uncomfortable pot for your mouths, mine is perfectly comfortable.

[–]BriGuy92 1 point2 points ago

That's not a reason 4chan is full of dicks. That's a result of the fact that 4chan is full of dicks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

*spot

[–]nr1988 0 points1 point ago

It was all right on cue. Goddamnitsomuch

[–]the_kdb 1 point2 points ago

Holy shit...

That was amazing.

[–]Mlee56 1 point2 points ago

YOU BASTARD I HAVE PARATITOUS AND NOW I CAN FEEL MY JAW DEAR GOD I AM DIEING

[–]krispwnsu 0 points1 point ago

I could use some comfortable pot for my tongue.

[–]cmilquetoast 1 point2 points ago

impressive

[–]Tenshik 0 points1 point ago

Jokes on him, I crossed my legs to scratch my foot and chewing gum while I read this. Almost none of it worked!

[–]yortman1 0 points1 point ago

I lost the game

[–]yomamma9027 0 points1 point ago

Damnit.. I just lost the game.

[–]OvermindTechnology 0 points1 point ago

Ahhhh... you feel that? I just won

[–]wotererio 0 points1 point ago

Now that's old

[–]WhoRunsBarterTown 1 point2 points ago

Too much win in this. I felt like I was being blitzkrieged one after the other (except for the bathroom thing, that one fell flat).

[–]colher 1 point2 points ago

[–]Tdogger 0 points1 point ago

idiot, the games been over since January 7 2010

[–]bamitsmeg 0 points1 point ago

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]Deshi_Basara 0 points1 point ago

I've never felt like Jonah Hill before.

[–]ninjagummybear 1 point2 points ago

I absolutely lost it when I read the subject.

[–]mozza5 0 points1 point ago

Cool title.

[–]TwinklyDee 1 point2 points ago

Hey, I remember him from 'This is a repost'!

[–]Reaper505 0 points1 point ago

FUUUUUUCK!

[–]camnui 0 points1 point ago

Remember also if youre a guy your Dick cans seem to settle in a comfortable spot or your balls now itch and spiders spiders spiders.

[–]Raballo 0 points1 point ago

And yet another post by a redditor taking something from 4chan who will then likely at a later date bash said site. Oh how I love your double standards reddit.

[–]Slyfox00 0 points1 point ago

Well I got owned pretty hardcore. But I was destroyed earlier at work.

Tried to print my ticket to animefest2012, turns out animefest2012 has a joke in there "use this url to print section" rickrolled.

[–]InflamedFlamingo 0 points1 point ago

Hook. Line. Sinker.

[–]Sweaty_Intercourse 1 point2 points ago

This actually made me want to punch my cat multiple times in the face.

[–]Snugglejitsu 0 points1 point ago

repost

[–]ememsee 1 point2 points ago

I'm...I....I'm going to bed for the night.

[–]Gamer_ely 0 points1 point ago

Isn't the game something from the Ultima games?

[–]genkaaku 0 points1 point ago

TIL: "That your jaw has weight, forcing you to manually hold it closed."

Thanks.

[–]dubesor86 0 points1 point ago

Repost #51448496654454 stop it

[–]putnut00 0 points1 point ago

Op is a fag

[–]NoNotHimAgain 0 points1 point ago

Fuck! I can't hold it anymore. I tried to fight it. brb, gotta piss.

[–]ModernDayDarwin 1 point2 points ago

I always worry about myself when I get done reading this and none of it affected me.

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

As someone that has learned to be always aware of his own body, I find this rather funny.

[–]runforrestrun13 0 points1 point ago

I read this in the Zapp Brannigan voice. Is that wrong?

[–]JupitersClock 0 points1 point ago

The only thing I did was read it all in Phil Hartman's voice.

[–]spiffy20 0 points1 point ago

That was awful! But it was funny! But now im over thinking all of those things! And now I cant stop losing the damn game.

[–]Bencool 0 points1 point ago

WRONG, I already had to sh-----oh...that's essentially the top comment

[–]Lomono95 0 points1 point ago

"there is no comfortable pot in your mouth" Damn

[–]PLSBRY_DOBOY 0 points1 point ago

Goddammit.... Now i feel awkward

[–]MAJORpaiynne 0 points1 point ago

4chan is the filth and waste of the internet that creates new life to spread to the rest of the internet to be destroyed.

[–]icedmetal57 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, except I already had to go to the toilet.

[–]Pykoh 0 points1 point ago

Fuck it, I'm just gonna stop breaking and blinking and my mouth hang open.

but my legs weren't crossed so fuck you.

[–]eragonisdragon 0 points1 point ago

Is it weird that none of these had an effect on me?

[–]CMFroggy790 0 points1 point ago

I don't know why I even read the whole thing.

[–]SolTheShadow 0 points1 point ago

GOD. FUCKING. DAMMIT.

[–]youngbre 0 points1 point ago

Don't forget you can see your nose as well.

[–]joseph775 0 points1 point ago

Troy McClure was so awesome. He made P.S.A. and work safe videos fun again.

[–]truthpooper 0 points1 point ago

This only works on the type of people who can be hypnotized.

[–]awkwardwriter 0 points1 point ago

That was the most horrible 2 minutes of my life.

[–]robotlove28 0 points1 point ago

Oh my fucking god dies

[–]R3llix -1 points0 points ago

Just another repost about 4chan being full of dicks... Seen it 4 times on Reddit now, and about 8 times on 4chan.

OC, please???

[–]MahaFTW 0 points1 point ago

Don't be so weak minded

[–]LocalTownHero 0 points1 point ago

That's at LEAST the third time I've read this post and it always gets me... DAMN YOU TROY McCLURE!!!!

[–]Hazy_V 0 points1 point ago

Oh right, the game, basically a way for worthless losers to win at something? What a waste of the legacy of Phil Hartman.

[–]nbozich 0 points1 point ago

Fuck I lost .. And I haven't in like 7 months

[–]m3l0n 0 points1 point ago

I stopped reading after the first few lines. I'm pretty uncomfortable right now, butI'd like to remind you that you're a dick for bringing this to reddit. Dick.

[–]bvanman 0 points1 point ago

Besides the voice part, I literally didn't care enough to consider the rest of it. Also, my tongue is comfortable as fuck.

[–]squishymonkey 0 points1 point ago

Sucker, I'm laying in bed. Only half of these apply to me!

[–]dpierce970 0 points1 point ago

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

[–]mr_znaeb 0 points1 point ago

Already on the toilet.

[–]NJDevils1 0 points1 point ago

This affected me 0%.

[–]TheDespondentZombie 0 points1 point ago

Yeah fuck this uncomfortable pot in my mouth.

[–]KyraShangea 0 points1 point ago

FUCK YOU. I'M SO ITCHY NOW.

[–]psycho-logical -1 points0 points ago

Forgot "You just lost the game."

[–]Chainsmoker977 0 points1 point ago

TLDR

[–]wardyFbaby 0 points1 point ago

I can't believe i remember what that guy's voice sounds like.

[–]Barbossal 0 points1 point ago

God dammit...

[–]moarpizza 0 points1 point ago

Fuck.

[–]k1ra_ 0 points1 point ago

soooo we meet again kira10

[–]MikkiKatt 0 points1 point ago

I.. lost?

[–]RadioGod 0 points1 point ago

Don't care what anybody says, this is hilarious.

[–]RapeSosage 0 points1 point ago

That is just damn amazing LOL

[–]danseaman6 0 points1 point ago

Fuck. Just fuck.

[–]borgfinkleton 0 points1 point ago

Fuck!

[–]SthaAmanM 0 points1 point ago

This gets an upvote.

[–]ThisizShane 0 points1 point ago

You...you monster...

[–]JSStarr 0 points1 point ago

Bastard..

[–]Zermerus 0 points1 point ago

Why wouldn't there be a comfortable pot?

[–]cronicstate 0 points1 point ago

D'oh

[–]anonsequitur 0 points1 point ago

I love this one because it always gets at least 1 right out of all of them. Shotgunning things is a good way to make it seem relevant to most people.

[–]LanikM 0 points1 point ago

That was fantastic

[–]theragingmonkey 0 points1 point ago

I go to sleep thinking about my jaw and tongue position every day so joke is on you Troy!

[–]iLuVtiffany 0 points1 point ago

Dunno what you're talking about. This post is full of win.